Latest / The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook / Breaking Free from Good Girl Expectations: Barbara Howlin’s Journey to Self-Trust and Inner Safety

Transcript

Breaking Free from Good Girl Expectations: Barbara Howlin’s Journey to Self-Trust and Inner Safety · The FEEL Podcast: Women’s Empowerment, Emotional Wellness and Self-Leadership with Melissa Crook

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The first type thing I talk about with people that I thought
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for myself was releasing the good girl syndrome, and then
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that led into good anything. Again, who's defining the good
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versus bad? You said who?
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And to me, the word that came up was, and it's a root 1.
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I actually think now doing so many human design names for
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people, am I trying to prove myself or am I being my most
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sovereign self? And I was just constantly trying
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to prove, you know, and also get that validation as an artist, as
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an actor, just as a quote, good human in some way.
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And I really feel now the adage that I found that I come back to
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over and over is am I living from the outside in or from the
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inside out? And I try to just return to that
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all of the time and see so many other adages around that come
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up. You know, am I coming from love
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or for love? Well, only when I'm listening to
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my own intuition and doing my morning routine and filling up
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my well first can I truly show up and want to be an energy
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worker for people in this and know that I'm coming from love
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and not for some external ego or validation.
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Hello Field podcast audience. Welcome back today.
1:07
I've got a new friend here with me today, but she was brought to
1:10
me by one of my old friends and that is our good friend Aaron
1:13
Copland. Aaron has been on the platforms
1:16
consistently with me over the last couple of years, The
1:19
podcast, the radio show in 2024, our panels in 2025.
1:25
She was just on a sub stack live with me a while back talking not
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only about her current work that's out there, but the new
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addition to. Her books.
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That she's putting out into the world.
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And so she when she brought this woman to me, I was like Oh yeah,
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if Erin's recommending her absolutely 1000% have to meet
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her. And so she's like, I got this
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friend Barbara Hallen, you got to meet her.
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I think she'd be a great guest. She'd be so fabulous on panels
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and I'm like, OK, sign me up. So we had a meeting and 1000%
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like we hit it off right away. She only lives like 3 1/2 hours
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away from me. So it's like, Oh my gosh, I
2:02
might end up meeting Barbara and in person first before I meet
2:05
Aaron in person first. Wouldn't that be a while?
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But but I'm so happy to have Barbara today.
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She and Aaron collaborate on some things that you're going to
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get to learn about as we get to know Barbara today through the
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talking points. And she's going to have some
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great resources for you that we will share at the end.
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And that will be on our website that are so timely for this time
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that we're in right now in the world.
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And that's going to make make more sense as we go through it.
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She's going to talk about a topic that we've talked about
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before. We've had a couple of other
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guests talking about this. And I think that's for a reason
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last year. I think this isn't meant to be.
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I believe in the stars aligning in the universe aligning and
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higher power in God and whatever you believe in bringing these
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things to us when we most need them.
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And that's what Barbara is going to be able to share today.
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But we're going to get to know her first and how she got on
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this path. She describes herself as
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creative, loving, passionate and an expansive human.
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Barbara Howland. Welcome to the Field podcast.
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Hi, thanks so much for having me.
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I'm so happy to have you here. All right, let's get right into
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it. We're going to start with
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prioritizing self-care in your life and what your journey's
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been like with that. And you're a busy person.
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You've got a lot going on. You're you are a creative.
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You do, you are an actress. You have and you work in human
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design. You have family.
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I mean, you've got a lot of things happening here.
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So talk to me about the importance of this and how this
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is how you have figured this out in a way for you.
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Yeah, you know, that running a small business, being an active
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creative, like I just finished directing a play which I also
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acted in, and I have a three-year old which is really
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in the height of it all. It feels like it.
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It's interesting. You know, the first thing that
4:00
comes to mind through all of his healing work was realizing.
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It can feel like a juggling act and realizing I always think
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back on this quote from the great Nora Ephron when they were
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like, how do you juggle all those balls?
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And she says I remember which ones are glass and which ones
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will bounce back. And the only ones that are glass
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are myself and my family. So that is first I think the
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awareness of I have to treat, as I say in my artist grade groups,
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myself like a precious object to feel strong and the simplest
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things are actually the most powerful.
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You know, I've realized I do need a morning routine.
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Maybe not first thing because 3 year old, but I still prioritize
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getting to hit before I jump into any other work.
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Like genuinely only putting the self-care first thing at a
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Canada Day for me that's daily morning pages, it's journaling,
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it's doing Reiki and energy work, which is, you know,
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another thing I guide people through and just movement in
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nature. If I get those three things in
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at the top of the day, I am just a different human.
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I really can engage in this dance of reciprocity in the
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creative way of trying to get people to do as well.
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And it really doesn't take that long.
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Honestly, if I could do that for 30 minutes in a, that's.
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Great. Yeah, Well, and you have create,
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you know, this goes nicely into confidently setting healthy
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boundaries. This is a boundary for you.
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This is a non negotiable for you that is set aside, that is
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already been determined. And when you've already
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determined it, you can't Kick It Out.
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I mean, you can, but you're less likely to because it's
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incorporated into the schedule. You know its value, it's a part
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of the day. When did you realize this was in
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important for you to do that? Like a lot of us and talking
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about your story, Not until I was in burnout.
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So it's good. Oh, it was full like adrenal
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fatigue. It was a lot of recovery that
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was needed there, which is the truth is I was engaging in the
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juggling and it was white knuckling.
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I called it back then and it was actually only just before the
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pandemic that I started to have the realization.
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And then of course, the universe did it for me, like for a lot of
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us with the world shutting down. And I, I quickly went, I can't
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go back. There's no going back.
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So I turned all of that energy I've been putting out as a
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teacher and an actor and all these things on myself and let
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everything else go. And it really was a full year
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there of a lot of energy work on myself taking all of these
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lessons to heart in a deeper way and finding what that balance
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was going to be as of course the world was going to get moving
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them and we wanted it to. But so that I can take aligned
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action in a different way right now.
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The truth is I was so disembodied.
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I always say I was just cut off from the neck down.
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And the main work I'm doing with people now is that I did not
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even have an awareness of my own intuition anymore.
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So it was a really a time of reclaiming connection to my
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intuition. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought
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that up because you and I talked about this when we met.
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We connected on a lot of things right away.
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My you know, you did it younger than me.
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Good for you cuz you got it out of the way sooner.
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But but I mean, I, I hit that same kind of wall in my own life
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where it was like that my body was just screaming no more that
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you have to pay attention to me now.
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I'm not giving you another choice in the matter.
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And it's that that disassociation that we walk
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around in. We are so disconnected from
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what's happening in our bodies that when our nervous when we
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finally settle into connecting with it.
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I don't know about you, but for me it was really noisy for a
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while. Like I felt things everywhere in
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my body, numbness tight, every tingling, every single thing and
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had to really like one thing at a time.
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Isaiah and packed the different parts that need to be tended to
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it and healed a little at a time.
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These things starting and I still like I recognize them now
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when they come up, I'm like oh, that's coming up.
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That means XYZ. Was it like that for you?
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100% And I will say becoming a Reiki master and doing this
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energy work on myself. There was also this wild sound,
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this rewilding that felt like it wanted to come out of me that I
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would be doing energy work alone in the bedroom.
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I'd be done and my husband would be like what was happening.
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And it was it was like a full body Yelp probably that had been
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so conditioned out of me and held back and there was grief.
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And then on the other side of that, there was like profound
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freedom and joy and laughter. When I got to my belly that
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wanted to come, it was two sides of the same coin.
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But I've been shutting down all of it, numbing it in some way.
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Yeah, I think that's so interesting because I would have
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these. It's so interesting when we
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finally give our our nervous systems finally feel safe enough
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to evacuate in and expose and bring to light all of these
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feelings and all of these things that have been residing inside
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us that we've stopped down, that we didn't even know we're there.
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And I would have these moments of just sobbing like for I
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didn't even know why I, I, it would happen a lot when I was
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working out, like if I worked out and done some yoga and
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really settled my mind and my therapist was like, that's
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actually very normal. And I would come out of a yoga
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and I would just sob. And my husband would just hold
9:35
me and, and, and just wrap his arms around me because that felt
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safe. And I would just let it.
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Then there would be this just laughter to the point we were
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crying. And he's like, what's something
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that was, what's mildly funny would just explode out of me.
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So I think that is a very common response when we finally allow
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all of this to be and we quit trying to mold and fit into
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spaces and places that we were never intended to inhabit and
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quit shutting down the things we were never supposed to to be
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shutting down. 100% that is a main thing that I talk about in
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groups too and through the artist way process because my
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belief too is we're all meant to be creative just because it's
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our life force energy. Like you moving that body or
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just dancing alone in the bedroom and all of it.
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But the main tenant we start with in artist way is recovering
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a sense of safety like you just said.
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Like that inner kiddo somehow doesn't feel safe to like take
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up space or laugh joyfully or come out to play.
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So this is getting back in that reciprocity and being both the
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parents re parenting and that inner kiddo to get back to the
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freedom and the play that wants to come out.
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Yeah. And this really all this parts,
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all this that we've been talking about is, is emotional, mental,
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physical, spiritual, health embodied.
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And this is all the connections we identified, all these places
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and ways it was manifesting in US physically, mentally and
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emotionally that we finally had to allow to come out and deal
11:11
with and because our bodies were just like not allowing us to
11:15
ignore it anymore. So we've both had very clear
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experiences with those connections and what happens
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when they're not being tended to.
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How did you learn about these practices that you're in now?
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You've mentioned the Reiki human design is part of it.
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You've got the artist way that and that creative piece, and I'm
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so glad you brought up that creative piece because I, I
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think we should talk about too, what creative is such a more
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expensive word and meaning than we give credit to.
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It's not only in the traditional senses and ways that we talk
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about through singing and instrument playing and painting
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and drawing and acting. Those are all the, those are the
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things we recognize and we know, but there's other ways and I had
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to learn this for years. I'm like, not really much of A
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creative. I mean, I can carry a tune, but
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blah, blah. I've learned through the process
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of this work I'm doing now that this is where my creativity
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shows up. This is how I'm creative.
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And it was like, oh, creativity is not this little box.
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It is. It is, however, we are able to
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express ourselves and find ourselves and use our voice in a
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way that feels in alignment with us.
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Yes, I was just hard nodding my head off for those who fancy on
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a podcast, this is the energy too of you know I one of my
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favorite quotes that I return to remind people of and the point
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of this work I'm doing with people is a Henry Miller quote
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to make a living itself an art that is the goal we associate
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how much of the idea of creativity to end result
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product. It becomes militaristic
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discipline and really it's just how do you want to savor the
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journey of living and engage in this, this dance, Which is why I
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picked that last word expansive as opposed to the contraction
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that I was doing inside of my body before that was so fearful,
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that wasn't curious like creativity is.
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So what is it to be expansive and just engage in savoring the
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process over the end product a little bit more and realizing
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that's just living creatively? Yeah, yeah.
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So how did you learn about these practices?
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What what you did, you got curious, I would imagine.
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But tell me about this this this understand this coming to this
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space of like what I've been looking for.
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Yes, as an actor, as any artist, I think many people have heard
13:44
about the book artist way. It's been around forever.
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This so well known. I was an actor and yet I was
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very much in tunnel vision. Like I said, it was sort of that
13:55
militaristic discipline of I'm an actor.
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So you're all in. This is the self definition.
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This is the faux control I had to cling to.
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And even though other things were pinging me like maybe you
14:05
want to write, maybe you want this.
14:07
I was very much in that linear either or thinking that was so
14:11
stifling. So I've really lost any joy in
14:14
the dream of it. And a group of friends suggested
14:17
we all do the artist way. That book is a reclamation as
14:22
some people. I've had a bunch of therapists
14:24
now do it with me. They're like, this is like 3
14:26
years of therapy in three months.
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This is the point of why it's so great.
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It's also really, it's big, but it's also really fun.
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It really gets you back to like that play and rest across you
14:36
were talking about. And this was the first thing
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that expanded the past for me. And I, I went, oh, if the limits
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are really shot, the jig is up. What am I going to do with a
14:46
sense of self empowerment? And I did start writing.
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And then I went, I actually want to teach actors.
14:51
I want this, I want this. I found like specificity and
14:53
clarity. But of course, then I hadn't
14:56
dealt with the other root tanks. So I was still on the hamster
14:59
wheel of the militaristic discipline.
15:02
And that that brought things to the surface.
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I'd like to say Artist Way opens the door to a wide open field of
15:07
possibility. But it was then I think the
15:10
waterfall effect of mind, body spirit, my body still was not
15:14
OK. Then Reiki energy came calling.
15:17
I had received it from people and then an offering came up,
15:20
you know, to train in it myself. And I had a full body, yes, for
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maybe the first time in a long time, and only I'm following
15:28
that did I bring all of those things to the surface.
15:31
And still then the next thing that came calling mind, body,
15:34
spirit was human design because I was still comparing my past to
15:38
other people. The comparison, the brain drain
15:42
train, it was like I didn't know how to let go of it.
15:45
And this information system just felt so affirming was the word I
15:50
used with you too, Melissa. And when we did it like so seen
15:55
for the first time in my life, like, oh, there's nothing wrong
15:58
with me or how I've been flowing.
16:00
I was just trying to keep up with the tigers on the hamster
16:02
wheel. And I'm a human design projector
16:05
and I need more rest and I need breaks.
16:07
And I'm here to sort of be a bird in the sky and hover above
16:10
it all. So that affirmed sort of what
16:12
you said. A lot of my innate superpowers
16:14
and gifts were shut down because I was comparing and I was
16:18
walking somebody else's power. So it really was a waterfall
16:21
effect, which I think happens if you open to mind, body or spirit
16:24
in a different way. You're not going to be able to
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ignore the other ones. Yeah, for sure.
16:30
I mean, I think once you find that alignment, you find that
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like, oh, this makes so much more sense now.
16:36
No matter. I felt so out of sorts in this
16:39
space. This space was never meant for
16:41
me. And I think this happens a lot
16:43
in a capitalist society where we're giving these marching
16:46
orders of how we're supposed to show up in the world.
16:49
And there's not the freedom to recognize that there's more than
16:53
one way to do things. And we each have our own unique
16:57
way. And if we're allowed and
16:58
supported and affirmed and showing up in it, we can shine.
17:03
But it but I mean, we and it starts for our young.
17:05
It starts with the narratives we hear as kids.
17:07
It starts with our school systems on how they operate and
17:10
what we're told is the right and wrong way to show up in the
17:13
world. And so we take this creativity
17:17
and this freedom out of kids before they even had a chance to
17:21
start. If they don't learn in the way
17:23
that is presented in these systems, we put and they're well
17:26
intended systems, but there's not flexibility within them.
17:29
They're they're designed for convenience to meet mass numbers
17:33
instead of meeting each individual where they are.
17:36
And so it creates this whole narrative that by the time we
17:39
have gotten out of high school, if we make it that far and on to
17:43
whatever we decide is next many times accordingly into the
17:46
narrative, you know, it can take a while for us to really get
17:50
tap, get a handle on, oh, wait a minute, These these systems,
17:57
these ways of existing, really. Don't work for me.
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I, I've got to get back in touch with me and what, what getting
18:06
in touch with me looks like. And you were able to do that.
18:10
And I think it's so important that we, that we talked about
18:13
that because I feel like we're seeing this.
18:16
I have 3 granddaughters, 2 Gen. Z and one very young millennial.
18:22
She just made the millennial jump.
18:23
I think she's more of a, I don't know.
18:26
I don't know if that's a thing or not, but but their intention
18:30
is very different than ours. They're like we're not getting
18:34
on that hamster whale. We are going to show up in ways
18:38
that are authentic to us. We are going to reside in
18:41
systems that are aligned with us.
18:43
We are not going to buy the narrative that there's only 180
18:47
hour week, drive yourself into the ground to get the house and
18:52
the car and all the things to live.
18:54
We're not going to do that. We're just not going to do that.
18:56
And so they're starting to tap into this.
18:59
I think just because they've seen the generations that have
19:02
like this, there's some pieces of this that just are not
19:05
serving our parents, our grandparents and our aunts and
19:08
uncles. And so I think we're starting to
19:11
see more of a move in this direction.
19:14
These conversations are starting to happen more, but with all
19:17
this that you've learned, you've decided not only how this rule
19:21
not. Only works well for me.
19:23
I'm going to show up unapologetically in it and I'm
19:26
going to support others in in going on this journey with me
19:30
unapologetically, which is which is the next point of how we
19:33
support ourselves and other women and living
19:35
unapologetically. This is what you do.
19:38
This is how you and Aaron met. Talk to me about that under
19:42
realization of not only can I help myself, I think I can help
19:47
other people with this. Too, I love that so much and I
19:52
love the word. I just want to hear it over and
19:54
over unapologetically because I could just share.
19:57
One of the main first things that happens in groups is there
20:00
will come a week when the person you see their energy is
20:04
different and then when it's their turn to share, they go.
20:06
I almost didn't come today. Those are the exact times when I
20:10
tell everyone from the beginning, please come on those
20:13
dates and here's what comes. They have feelings, they have
20:16
what we call a crea, an artist's way, a spiritual tantrum.
20:19
They get witnessed and all of those feelings in an
20:22
unapologetic way and something gets free there.
20:25
But what they share is they almost didn't come because they
20:28
didn't feel like they had anything to offer.
20:30
Today we are so put in this capitalist Society of like, what
20:34
are you going to go do? What are you going to make?
20:36
What are you going to? It is so different, the
20:38
reciprocity I feel now wanting to offer and be of service
20:42
people in an unapologetic way that is not from this
20:44
capitalist. Here's how you have to go show
20:46
up and prove yourself and be perfect showing up on camera and
20:50
all these things that come up in US.
20:52
And I think that happens in groups because people show up on
20:55
those days and push through. And I always affirm what we're
20:58
releasing. There are those old conditioning
21:00
paradigms of guilt, shame, but not enoughness.
21:04
But I do think it's most important to be seen and heard
21:06
in community and not not doing any sort of solo work.
21:10
And we see it happen and people are different after that day
21:14
when they almost show. Up I love that.
21:18
And it just shows the power of connection because we're
21:21
designed as humans to connect with each other, but we're also
21:25
we are human beings, not human doings.
21:28
And I know that we hear that language a lot, but but we, I
21:32
think we need to sit with that because I was trapped for years
21:37
in this idea of value and production are my value is equal
21:43
to how much I produce and how well I produce, produce it.
21:45
It's not just producing it. I got to produce it well because
21:48
that is how I received affirmation.
21:50
That was where everything that's, you know, that people
21:54
showed in the spaces that I grew up and lived in.
21:57
I was given approval and love and affirmation when I produced
22:01
and I produced well and I showed up and I showed up well.
22:04
And the idea of sitting and being still was considered lazy
22:09
and and unproductive and it wasn't celebrated as the rest
22:14
that you need to still. It wasn't celebrated as a time
22:17
to let your creativity come to life.
22:20
It it just wasn't celebrated. And so you have to like kind of
22:24
find that within yourself and realize it is in, I think we can
22:30
just keep going at this pace and not hit a wall.
22:33
There has got to be common sense.
22:36
We'll tell you if you're, if you sit with it for a minute and get
22:39
yourself off the hamster wheel, that of course I have to rest
22:42
and refill. And of course, when I look at
22:44
other people's lives and see them going hard, I see that they
22:48
need to rest and refill. So how do I not see this for
22:52
myself? But I think we have to go back
22:53
to those narratives of those stories and then that.
22:57
I'm curious, how has this impacted your creativity?
23:02
Because you're not only acting now, you're writing, you're
23:04
directing. Talk about that a little bit
23:07
about how that and how it's impacted that part of your life.
23:12
Oh, everything you just described.
23:13
I think the main thing is I feel more of a sense of peace with
23:18
what what is also one of my main gifts in human design, which is
23:22
some people feel like they have a cup of ideas.
23:24
I have an overflowing batch of ideas.
23:27
So in the past that actually could stop me in my tracks and
23:30
I'd go, I'm not going to be able to do all this in one lifetime.
23:32
Again, output. I can't make all of this.
23:35
Where do I begin? And it's really made me find a
23:38
piece with being a more of a seeker than even a Finder in
23:41
this lifetime. And I always ask people, you
23:43
know, is the antenna up is the question with your own
23:47
intuition. If the antenna is up and you're
23:49
receiving and all you're getting connections like connecting to
23:52
you, Melissa, and signs and synchronicities and all of it.
23:55
Isn't that the point? And I will receive whatever next
23:58
inspiration comes I will feel from my intuition when it's
24:01
aligned action or not, and just have peace with that and also
24:05
peace with like, I just want to enjoy the process of life and
24:08
being wonder and inspiration and curiosity and not Here's how I
24:11
have to go commodify all of these ideas in my brain.
24:17
Yeah, yeah, exactly. And when you honor that,
24:20
everything kind of settles in within you.
24:21
I noticed when I started working from home and working doing my
24:25
own schedule for the first time, and instead of being on another
24:29
schedule, I was, Oh my gosh. I mean, I always resisted.
24:33
Like, I never, even in my days coming out of college, I always
24:37
wanted to find a different, more convenient way to do things.
24:41
I never thought that the 8 to 5 was really like, why do we have
24:45
to do it that way? Or why, why do I have to be
24:47
here? Why can't I do it from here?
24:49
I can get us. I, you know, And so when I was
24:52
finally able to do that, I'm like, this is what I have been
24:55
yearning for my whole life and ever, you know, in the world,
24:59
the culture has told me that that way is the wrong way or not
25:04
the, the, the most productive way.
25:06
It's like, no, actually for me, this is the most productive and
25:09
aligned way. And I, I will be so much more
25:12
effective in how I show up by honoring that.
25:16
And so I think that is such a yeah, when you finally tap into
25:20
how it is you allow yourself to be how you were designed to be
25:24
and respond to that, you see, all of a sudden you're like, oh.
25:29
Wow, wow, I can actually get more done as a human design
25:35
projector when I work a couple hours and I take a nap.
25:39
Oh amazing. Look what I always wanted to do.
25:41
But when I released the guilt and the laziness that I was
25:44
brought up with too and all that.
25:46
I also feel this. Reconnecting people to their
25:49
intuition and their embodiment and their design.
25:52
Things want to feel easier. That doesn't mean there isn't
25:55
work and struggle, but it is all growth mindset and curiosity
25:58
then and doing it my way. It's not the hamster wheel,
26:01
Struggle told us. A big comparison that I was on.
26:06
Yes, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
26:08
And and it also frees you up because the next talking point
26:11
is, you know, the importance of setting and coming back to our
26:15
why and our values. We first have to live in a way
26:17
that's honored to ourselves before we can even tap into our
26:21
why and our values. Because so many times we think
26:25
we are living out of our own, but we're actually living out of
26:27
the ones. That we were told we were
26:28
supposed. To have and, and, and so we've
26:31
lived according to those and it's not until we do this work,
26:35
they're like, oh, hold on a minute, like for me, I will.
26:38
I will never forget when I realized a couple years ago I
26:41
was re I was redoing the values thing again.
26:43
It was some kind of activity. I can't remember.
26:46
I was doing it with a Brene Abraham book or something and it
26:49
and I travel kept coming up as one of my values and it at first
26:53
I'm still not compared to my son.
26:55
That felt so frivolous to me. And it was finally, I think it
26:59
was my middle daughter said Mom, travel is totally a value of
27:03
yours. And and because and you, it
27:06
fills you up. It it bright, it brings to life
27:09
your curiosity. You come home more informed.
27:12
She start pointing out all the things that she observed in me
27:15
as I traveled. And I was like, you're right.
27:18
That is a value. It's not frivolous.
27:22
It it does light up all these other things in me and it's OK
27:27
for me to claim that. And so I finally, instead of
27:30
fighting it like, Oh my gosh, what kind of a value is that?
27:33
What kind of what will that produce?
27:35
I finally just embraced it as, yeah, absolutely.
27:39
And it's a husband and I travel is a huge value of ours.
27:44
And we start feeling stifled if we go too long without doing
27:48
some kind of travel. I love that.
27:53
And you know this, I love what you said too, because for me,
27:56
getting really clear on them with all of these modalities,
27:59
there's going to be a lot of shadow over them for a lot of
28:01
people. And there was for me that
28:03
actually a lot of those root things, again, we were told
28:06
we're not OK somehow. And mine actually my funniest, I
28:09
would, is that really a core tenant of my life in business.
28:12
I call it Trickster vibes. Trickster vibes.
28:16
The Trickster. Yeah, the Trickster, what I call
28:19
gait of human design is one of my main things that just a
28:23
little more technical for people that want to look at where
28:25
Neptune is in their human design chart.
28:27
It's usually this inherent gift or superpower that we have the
28:30
most shadow, like a veil over and minus Trickster vibes.
28:34
And I realized it absolutely is what I was doing.
28:37
I was so scared to like name it that tricky thing or claim it in
28:41
some way when really I am being a pattern disruptor with people.
28:46
That is what I want to be doing. Like let's disrupt those
28:48
patterns and conditioning inside of ourselves.
28:51
Let's disrupt out in the world with your big light and not
28:54
shutting it down anymore. And so I want to empower people
28:57
to be a little more Trixie and get off the linear path and
29:01
like, find their back door, right?
29:04
Yeah. Yeah.
29:07
Was that your favorite value that you have identified?
29:10
I love that. Oh, yeah.
29:11
Oh, I love it so much. And I also almost couldn't even
29:14
speak it out loud at first. I went, well, you know, and how
29:17
I was raised and I think the constriction and the judgment, I
29:21
was even like, is that wrong? Is that like evil imagining this
29:24
trickster leaving the path from everyone else?
29:27
And I went, well, obviously you have a shadow Rama.
29:29
And I did. And yet it is how I feel like
29:32
befriend. There's no Angel and devil on my
29:34
shoulders. There's this other part of you
29:36
that is again the rewilding part that wants to go their own way,
29:40
and I think that's trickster in me.
29:44
I love that so much. I love that because we society,
29:48
the collective, we, we have moralized these things and, you
29:53
know, called them good or bad. I mean, I, I, one of my biggest
29:56
pet peeves and you and I talked about this.
29:58
I think when we met is when people define emotions as good
30:02
emotions and bad emotions. I'm like, no, I will bite you on
30:06
that. It's called the day is done.
30:08
Their emotions are clues. We there are there are clues to
30:12
let us know how we're feeling, what needs to be processed, what
30:16
needs to be allowed, what needs to be moved through their clues,
30:19
their indicators, and we need to pay attention and allow all of
30:22
them and and get curious about all of them and give them all
30:25
the acknowledgement and attention they needed.
30:27
That's the same with, you know, how we were made and why are
30:30
this is values within us and that's how we were designed to
30:34
show up in the world. And so let's honor that.
30:37
I think there's so many more of us women that have that
30:41
disruptor in US. Then then we have been feel safe
30:46
or OK to allow out because I tell you what, it's those
30:51
disruptors that that are going to help shift these narratives
30:56
and create the safe spaces that we want in this world for all of
31:02
us to be able to show up without fear, knowing we're going to be
31:07
treated well with with respect, with equity, with kindness.
31:13
I mean all those things. But it's but it's going to take
31:15
some disruptor in in a lot of us to to go out and make this
31:20
happen. But yeah, it's but it's like we
31:22
you hear from the time you're a kid, like if you go to your
31:27
school teacher conference and it might say on your thing
31:32
disruptive in the classroom. OK, what does that mean?
31:36
I mean, it is so you, it delivered as a negative from the
31:40
time you're a little kid when you know, it's like, is it, I
31:45
mean, or is it just the fact that you are holding those
31:49
people back in a way that's not honoring to them?
31:51
And so this is how it comes out. But what happened?
31:54
What happens if you channel that disruptor and allow them to be
31:58
who they are? What kind of difference can they
32:00
make in the world when they're allowed to show up as their
32:03
fully embodied selves? Oh.
32:07
Listen, there we go. Great, we solved everything,
32:09
everyone go be a trickster and everything, everything will be
32:12
all right. But I does feel like that to me
32:14
now. I love that what you said as
32:16
opposed to oh, really look at this kid in this classroom who
32:19
wants to be seen and heard. Maybe they really want to be a
32:22
leader and we can see that and we can affirm that and like let
32:25
our ego go as a teacher in some way to get collaborative with
32:28
this dude. I mean, what a different way to
32:30
look at it. And and I love what you said
32:32
around the feelings. Oh, same.
32:35
And and that was the first, I think big aha for me, the the
32:38
first reclamation from the artist's way.
32:41
I love that Julia Cameron talks about all of it.
32:43
She's like anger and jealousy. We do all these exercise with it
32:47
are a map. They are the next actions
32:49
invitation. They are the part of you that's
32:51
been shut down. So if only we can journal, we
32:53
can metabolize, we can do the energy work to get to the root
32:56
of it and affirm it. You know, for me that that
33:00
didn't feel allowed. It didn't feel safe in my
33:02
household. And so it all was like a monster
33:05
hiding in the closet to me. I, I really would not get angry
33:09
and let that out until doing artist's way.
33:11
And then I saw there's no monster in the closet.
33:13
That was again, just a little inner kiddo part of me that was
33:16
so scared and just wanted to be like lay on the floor like I did
33:20
and Yelp it out and don't care what anyone else thinks.
33:23
And it was so affirming. There's nothing wrong with any
33:26
of it. Yeah, yeah, so good.
33:30
Well, it was really nice. Intervene out of your own
33:34
expectations versus others expectations.
33:37
You do that and you really help others to do that too.
33:41
So talk to me about that expectations journey.
33:45
You know, it was all expectations.
33:48
I think the first thing I talk about with people that I thought
33:52
for myself was releasing the good girl syndrome and then that
33:55
led into good anything. Again, who's defining the good
33:59
versus bad? You said who and to me, the word
34:01
that came up was and it's a root 1.
34:04
I actually think now doing so many human designing through
34:06
people, Am I trying to prove myself or am I being my most
34:10
sovereign self? And I was just constantly trying
34:13
to prove, you know, and also get that validation as an artist, as
34:17
an actor, just as a quote, good human in some way.
34:21
And I really feel now the adage that I found that I come back to
34:25
over and over is am I living from the outside in or from the
34:28
inside out? And I try to just return to that
34:31
all of the time and see so many other adages around that come
34:35
up. You know, am I coming from love
34:37
or for love? Well, only when I'm listening to
34:39
my own intuition and doing my morning routine and filling up
34:43
my well first can I truly show up and want to be an energy
34:47
worker for people in this and know that I'm coming from love
34:49
and not for some external ego or validation.
34:55
Oh, I love that. Coming from love or for love,
34:59
that is key. What an important question to
35:04
ask yourself. When's the first time did you?
35:07
Do you remember the first time you were able to connect with
35:10
that question? Because that is powerful.
35:15
You know, I don't think it was conscious, but you know, I, I
35:18
actually think because there was so much that was repressed and
35:21
everything I was just sharing. I actually think that acting new
35:24
called to me because it was the key to opening all of that.
35:27
I still sure was held in life, but you're free and acting to
35:32
yell and let out all of these things.
35:34
And when I realized I really felt so free pretty early on,
35:39
from an early age in acting, I felt like I realized now, but I
35:43
didn't see then that freedom that I gave myself so fully when
35:47
maybe a lot of people still felt held in acting, I felt so free.
35:51
That was an act of self love that I didn't even realize at
35:54
the time. It was me going up, knowing I
35:56
need this release. I need this.
35:58
I don't even know why. And I felt so free there, even
36:01
though it didn't make sense that at the beginning, clearly things
36:04
changed often because of capitalism and all that, like we
36:08
said. But that wasn't coming like for
36:10
love at the beginning. I just somehow knew this was in
36:13
me and I needed it. And I realize now like that was
36:16
this first act of freeing self love for myself.
36:20
Wow, wow, so powerful. So when people come to you to,
36:25
to work with you, I, I would imagine if, if they're very
36:32
loaded with this whole expectations piece of living out
36:36
of others versus their own, what, what have, where do you
36:39
start with them? If you can just give us a peek
36:43
into that to help them start processing the difference
36:48
between living out of their their others, which we all have
36:52
that space where we got to do that.
36:54
Versus their own. MM hmm.
36:57
Usually the most powerful tool they start with people is the
37:00
one that they will go kicking and screaming too because of
37:04
that. And it is, it is what in in the
37:07
artist way she calls going on an artist date each week.
37:10
An artist date is a time alone. You cannot go with anyone else.
37:15
It is not meant to be productive.
37:17
It is you dating yourself out in the world and doing something
37:20
that will be pure play, joy, exploration, all that.
37:24
That sounds lovely, but it's very triggering to people who
37:29
have all of these expectations that they are living within or
37:32
they put on themselves. They're like, I can't possibly
37:35
take two hours to go do that for myself.
37:38
I can't possibly take the time. Usually it's time I can't.
37:41
And yet it's the key, the freedom of there's nothing to
37:45
prove. You're alone by yourself out in
37:47
the world. No one can see you and you're
37:50
dating yourself. And also there's no militaristic
37:53
discipline and end result. You know, that is why I actually
37:57
think it's really triggering the people.
37:59
But then it's the key to the first freedom of, like you said,
38:02
being overdoing and letting go of those expectations.
38:06
Yeah, oh, I think that's so good.
38:08
And boy, you, you don't when we are asked to do something just
38:13
for ourselves, for the enjoyment effort without an actual
38:18
attached response or expectation and, and just be quiet with
38:23
ourselves. We're so uncomfortable with
38:25
that. We are a bit that is just not
38:27
how we've been trained. And I mean, and that getting
38:31
quite makes people really, and being by themselves makes people
38:35
really uneasy. I think, you know, because it
38:40
allows a lot of the noise to come to the surface.
38:43
You can't push back or ignore anymore as well.
38:46
So not only are you not, you know, you're not checking an
38:49
item off a list or, you know, like me when I went into therapy
38:53
when I was in the fall of 2019, I'm like, I'm going to come here
38:56
for six months. I'm going to get some tools and
38:58
resources and I'll be out of here and on my way.
38:59
Ha, ha, ha, ha. No, no, that is not what
39:04
happened. And thank God it did.
39:08
But that was such, you know, that was just such a
39:11
conditioning. So yeah, just so I think you're,
39:13
you know, I can imagine I, that was something that I would
39:16
embrace now. But if you would have told me
39:17
that, you know, 5-6 years ago, I've been like, excuse me?
39:22
What am I? What am I?
39:26
Yeah, What am I supposed to get out of that hand?
39:30
What you just said, like people are rushing through everything.
39:36
It's not great. I'm going to do this one thing
39:38
and I'm perfectly healed and I'll go.
39:40
It's just not the truth of it. So again, I also think these
39:43
artist States and taking that time by yourself, I always am
39:46
telling people like slow down. If people don't even know what
39:49
to do, I'm like go for a walk unplugged and look up and not
39:53
down because I feel that was the first root thing for me.
39:56
As I started this work, I realized I was rushing through
39:59
everything. I just wasn't even paying
40:02
attention. So even if the next right
40:04
connection intuitive step was right in front of me, I wouldn't
40:07
have seen it. Yeah, I think that's such a
40:10
great. You know, you think of what you
40:13
think of these drives, these that you take when you go to
40:16
work and you hear people talk about all the time that they're
40:19
so conditioned and doing it that they don't even remember they'll
40:21
get to a they'll be almost to work.
40:23
You're like, Oh my God, I don't remember the last 15 minutes
40:25
because as John's just so conditioned it, we stop being
40:28
present. We were just going to autopilot,
40:31
but we miss. And so I remember an activity
40:33
that I was given to do early on was intentionally go for a walk
40:38
through a familiar place that look, take look at each side.
40:43
No music, no podcast, just yourself.
40:47
Look around, see what you noticed, see what you see.
40:50
Do this several times and you, I promise you, if you stay
40:53
intentional and folk, you'll see.
40:56
And it was like practice to help me stay present.
40:58
And you'll see different things and notice different things each
41:02
time you go for many, many times.
41:05
So it's like, yeah, yeah, whatever.
41:07
Oh my gosh. And but it's also such a
41:10
realization to how again, going back to that disconnected we
41:15
are, how just we just go into this tunnel vision, get to the
41:19
end location. And my husband has been much,
41:23
much more willing to, to, to go on this trail for years.
41:29
And I have, but he's always said ever since we've known each
41:31
other, you know, enjoy the journey.
41:33
I'm like journey shirney. Where is the finish line?
41:37
I, I mean, I ran track. I was a sprinter.
41:40
You take off and you finish and you win.
41:43
What do I win? And, and so, you know, having to
41:48
like, learn to like smell the roses and what am I learning
41:51
along the way? And you know, one of the things
41:53
that I started doing a few months ago that my favorite
41:56
recommended is writing down my wings each day.
41:59
And my wings don't have to be Oh my gosh, I had this many
42:03
downloads today or whatever. Or I had this workout.
42:08
It's like I took time off at 2:30 today to take a 20 minute
42:14
nap because I felt drowsy and I needed it.
42:18
You know, it's those kinds of things.
42:20
I, you know, stopped working at 2:30 today because there really
42:26
wasn't anything else I had to get done that and I was tired
42:31
and I needed I needed some, I needed a break.
42:34
My brain and my body were sending me signals.
42:36
So it's those kinds of you know, and and so it for me, it was a
42:41
re redefining what's winning, what's winning and and what is
42:46
and what it what is this way of winning costing me versus this
42:50
other more Enjoy the journey winning.
42:54
Yes, and we bring it back to creativity for me because like
42:58
winning to who? Because in something else's,
43:01
someone else's perspective, we're not winning someone
43:04
else's. We are art and creativity in
43:06
life is all subjective. So that also is so freeing to
43:10
realize. I could.
43:11
I just felt so lit up by the play I just made and directed
43:15
and guaranteed we still got a bad review.
43:17
Bad to who you know. I like it's.
43:20
All subjective in that. And also what you just described
43:24
I think is so powerful. What I have now found and I see
43:28
in groups in and out is what I call grief and celebration being
43:33
two sides of the same coin. It's actually very much the
43:36
teachings of our team Prectel, this amazing mind practitioner.
43:40
But he talks about if we don't befriend both sides of that
43:43
coin, you're not going to feel either of them.
43:46
So I love what you just described.
43:47
Why was it so hard? Why can't we celebrate
43:49
ourselves? Because maybe we still haven't
43:51
grieved this other thing or these control that we actually
43:55
don't have from the self definition.
43:57
So I can't celebrate myself because I'm also so scared of
44:00
like the other shoes going to drop for the grief.
44:03
Yeah, yeah, so true. That was so, that's so
44:07
important, such a big part of it.
44:08
And that and which really this goes beautifully into accepting
44:12
the layered aspects of ourselves.
44:14
All the pieces and parts of who we are that make up who we are,
44:20
The parts we love, the parts we've denied, the parts we've
44:23
stuffed, the parts we have grief and shame around.
44:27
There's so many pieces and parts of us that we don't allow
44:31
ourselves to live out of because of all these different, you
44:35
know, you said shadows earlier that we have the impact when
44:41
what I've learned and when I'm working with women in groups and
44:44
one-on-one, we start here, We start with the layers piece.
44:48
I'm like, we're going to start with layers because it's in
44:52
embracing these and learning how to get curious rather than
44:55
judgmental with these that we can welcome all the parts of us
44:58
in, acknowledge them, know our value is made-up of who we are,
45:04
not what we do. When we can understand that
45:08
value, we are going to be more willing to prioritize us, to get
45:14
to know us, to honor us, to identify what my values are, my
45:20
why, what are my expectations, what are my healthy boundaries
45:25
because I know my value and it's not based out of all these other
45:28
things that the world has told me accomplishment wise make me
45:33
important or valuable. And so we starting with that
45:38
layers. And that's what you've just
45:39
described. And I think it's so interesting
45:41
because, I mean, you're in you're in in the acting world,
45:45
in Hollywood, It is packed full of all of these narratives about
45:50
good, bad acceptance, ratings, reviews.
45:54
And so. And it's so such an interesting
45:57
conundrum to me because you, it drives some of the most creative
46:00
and and and expansive thinking people in the world.
46:05
Yet there's this, these systems in place that like that try to
46:09
squash it out of you by all of these narratives that they put
46:14
around what success is and isn't.
46:16
So the fact that you've been able to navigate that in this
46:20
world to me, and really embrace all of your layers the way you
46:24
have, I think is remarkable. Whoosh.
46:27
When you put it like that, Melissa, Oh my God, I will
46:30
celebrate that I receive because I do think that, you know, I
46:35
came out here when I was 21 and it's everything you said, like
46:40
wanted to be expensive, wanted to do all these things.
46:42
And you know, I won't even regurgitate them here.
46:46
All of the things that I was told had to change about my
46:49
physical form, all of the things I was told that.
46:51
And there obviously was still even back then, even though I
46:54
was so scared, was still that trickster in me who just kept
46:57
being like, no, no. And it I think it said it
47:01
requires a lot of no to pull back those layers, I guess to
47:06
find my hell yes. As I say to people in human
47:09
design, get to the root of your hell yes inside all of those
47:12
layers, which is really just whispering like you're enough,
47:15
you're enough. Just stay in the truth of who
47:18
you are. Yeah, wow.
47:22
Yeah. So important, so much value in
47:24
that because that's when you can really show up authentically
47:28
when you can, when you can embrace your layers and know
47:32
your value, it opens the door when you can.
47:35
I mean, the biggest, the most important shift in my thinking
47:40
that's ever happened and it's still the work in progress.
47:43
I still want to be judgmental at times.
47:46
I still bring, especially when something's really enraging me.
47:49
And I just want to, I am, I am, you know, I really have to pull
47:53
myself back and consider narratives and also, you know,
47:56
and really stop myself in my tracks.
47:58
So this is not something I've accomplished by any means.
48:01
It is a process. But with me, getting curious
48:04
rather than judgmental was a key because with curiosity, judgment
48:09
cannot reside and stay there. With curiosity, comfort and not
48:15
being pushed out of your because comfort is a tricky one that a
48:20
lot of people fall into the trap of too.
48:22
It's just, it's comfortable so they don't shift.
48:26
But it's like and, and it's and sometimes you're living in
48:29
comfort. You don't even realize it.
48:30
It's like if you're feeling an angst within you, you know that
48:35
comfort might not be what you think it is.
48:38
It might be really holding you back from being all that you
48:43
were designed and created to be. And I think that's, you know,
48:48
would you say when you came out to to California when you were
48:52
21, was it was that curiosity what really drove you?
48:57
Because it would have been. That's a big move to make.
49:00
Yeah, I I was passionate, which is one of my words at the top,
49:06
maybe more. It was like a passion that leads
49:09
to even an energy work our gut. I always talk about our safe
49:13
role like that's what keeps us going.
49:14
And I just had such a jump start of passion in that I really did
49:19
leave and I'm sure it's that you're going to my mother and
49:22
people were like really, are you just going to get in the car and
49:24
drive across the country? But I really was lit up with
49:26
passion. I would say would be the thing
49:28
back then, the thing I love what you're bringing up that that has
49:31
kept it sustainable is curiosity.
49:34
You know, like the passion can come and go with things.
49:37
I've taken a break from acting. I've started writing.
49:40
I've done this. I finally went, oh, I do want to
49:42
direct, like passions change around things.
49:45
But that curiosity I love. I think that's what kept it
49:49
sustainable. And also the judgment.
49:51
I mean, Melissa, come on, of course.
49:53
And I always see I love to me also the envy part of it.
49:58
We talk in the artist way we call it the jealousy map is
50:02
actually such a powerful thing. Often when I'm having that
50:05
judgement of people, there's some envy there or they're a
50:07
mirror to that part of me that is calling for some actions
50:10
invitation. So I love the word now actually
50:13
seeing those people as expanders for me and being like, OK, what
50:17
part of me needs to expand around this?
50:20
I love that. That's so good.
50:22
Oh my gosh, I take that with me. That's because that's that's the
50:26
right question. You know when you know that's
50:29
the right question. Like what is this bringing up in
50:32
me? What needs to be tapped into
50:36
that this is this is causing this disruption within me.
50:39
Oh yeah, that's so good. All right.
50:42
In living out feel, which you are doing, in finding
50:46
empowerment, embracing layers. Talk to me about the impact that
50:50
has had on your relationship with yourself as well as your
50:53
relationship with other people. My relationship with myself, you
50:58
know, I this becomes a little full circle.
51:00
I think it's what you asked before.
51:02
Another thing I wanted to say is I think the empowerment comes
51:06
from releasing expectations that I put on myself and actually not
51:12
even having. I would dare say I mean I still
51:15
do it comes up, but expectations on myself with anything truly
51:19
being in intuition and tricks survives being the real
51:23
empowerment. I think what I've found there
51:27
for myself then is befriending the surrender part of the
51:31
creative life process, which is still of course the hardest
51:35
part. But really befriending that
51:37
surrender part of the process for me with myself has led to
51:41
that empowerment. But the empowerment is like a
51:45
different dance with the universe, the different dance
51:47
with reciprocity, which of course then led to be able to
51:51
engage in that dance with other people in a different way.
51:53
Realize like I held so much in because of the fear of
51:56
vulnerability and the vulnerability hangovers as
51:58
opposed to realizing when I found that within myself, people
52:01
just want to see your authenticity and all sides of
52:05
you. And like, yes, there's going to
52:06
be vulnerability. And what I always say to others
52:10
and I befriended to myself now. Like if it doesn't feel like
52:13
that, I'm actually probably off track in some way.
52:16
Like as I'm on a creative life path that involves risk and
52:20
vulnerability, it probably should feel like that sometimes.
52:23
And being around the right people who support your office
52:26
authenticity, I think it inherently happens when I follow
52:30
that empowerment and intuition for myself now.
52:33
Yeah, yeah. That surround that people you
52:35
surround yourself with, that is so key it because those the
52:40
people you surround yourself with goes back to the energy
52:42
piece will either deplete from or add to your energy.
52:46
And so being mindful that and when you're living authentic to
52:50
yourself, when you're in touch with who you are, you're
52:52
recognizing that you're allowing that to be that impacts the kind
52:57
of people you attract. It also impacts the kind kind of
53:01
people that you're like, you know, this is just like, I might
53:06
have to love you from afar because this is not it, you
53:10
know, and, and we can be kind and direct with those things,
53:13
but we become so much more aware of that.
53:16
And I love what you said about did the releasing expectations.
53:21
And I started this whole thing 4 plus years ago now going into
53:28
our fifth year, which is hard. When I reached this, it's the
53:32
first thing I ever did in my life where I went into it with
53:37
no expectation. I just knew it was the right
53:40
next thing to do. And it was such a foreign but
53:44
also really like giving feeling. And I never, I'm like, I know
53:49
I'm absolutely supposed to do this.
53:51
This might be the most aligned thing with myself that I've ever
53:55
launched because I'm just following my tuition that it's
53:59
the right thing to do. And I honestly have not put any
54:03
expectations out there for other than that.
54:05
I know this is what I'm supposed to do.
54:07
And that was so out of sorts for me because I am, I was such a
54:14
for years, lived in such a codependent and I'm naturally
54:18
competitive, do more, do better, all the things.
54:23
And so for me to be able to acknowledge that and say that my
54:25
husband's like, whoa, who are you?
54:30
I don't. Nice to meet you.
54:36
But you know, and, and that's, it's interesting because that's
54:38
the one thing as I continue to build it and add these different
54:42
pieces to it, I've really tried to stay true to there are
54:45
different parts and pieces and the order that identity in that
54:49
people have been like, oh, Are you sure you should do that or
54:52
this or that? And I'm just like, you know,
54:54
this may not make sense to you, but I'm, I'm really trying to
54:58
stay true to me and what feels a line to me and trusting that
55:02
process. And I have and, and I'm so, you
55:05
know, there's a few things I did along the way where I didn't do
55:07
that. And I knew and I felt it and I
55:10
was just like, I felt once you know, and you go back and I was
55:14
like, I knew I shouldn't have done that thing, but I'm going
55:18
to you know, I'm going to honor it now, but I'm going to release
55:21
it when the time when my commitment to that has come up
55:24
because I allowed the outer expectations and pushes even,
55:31
you know, and I, you know, I knew, I you know, it was I made
55:34
a year commitment to this thing and I knew, I knew three months
55:38
into it maybe got less that I was like, Oh, what have I done?
55:43
I knew I should have listened to myself.
55:44
And ever since then I'm like, Nope, I will not do that.
55:48
I will listen to myself. I will not let outside voices
55:51
detract me from that. Not that mean.
55:53
That doesn't mean I don't take in advice and insights and
55:57
consider things that when that that gut thing in me is telling
56:00
me something's right, I'm going to listen to that.
56:04
Yes, and you, I love how you just put it because this is one
56:08
of the main things that I feel is different in the work that
56:11
I'm doing that a lot of people and practitioners is we can be
56:15
trusting our intuition, doing this healing work, bringing
56:17
things to consciousness and taking aligned action.
56:20
Now I always say start creating now in the messy middle.
56:24
I always bring up the roommate quote as you start to walk on
56:27
the way, the way appears. We're not going to like have a
56:30
manual be like, I've perfectly figured myself out.
56:33
Now I can start creating or walking.
56:35
Like you have to just start walking as you're doing this
56:38
work or bringing things to consciousness.
56:40
And that's the balance there. So I love that.
56:42
And same with my business. And there been plenty of times,
56:44
well, I went, well, you didn't trust your intuition.
56:48
And I'm like, OK, and we just circle back.
56:50
But those are the most ripe moments where I've actually put
56:54
the embodiment and intuition thing into practice, and I
56:57
learned so much more. Yeah, yeah.
57:01
It just kind of reinforces if all those.
57:05
Oh yeah, Yep. OK, now I know you don't miss
57:09
them anymore. Like, it's very, you know, right
57:11
away. Oh.
57:13
Oh yeah, absolutely. Thank you so much for that.
57:15
So good. As we wind down here, tell me 5
57:20
activities that nourish you. Walking, being in nature, daily
57:28
journaling, Reiki and energy work and playing with my kids.
57:35
03 is such a fun age too. They're just getting such
57:37
personal. Isn't that age?
57:38
Such imagination and so good. Yeah.
57:42
Yeah. And that's, you know, can you
57:44
hear people all the time talking about go back to your three to
57:48
five year old self? What was she like?
57:51
Because that is when I feel like we are the most uninhibited,
57:56
like we are really, like showing up as our most authentic selves
57:59
and being able to tap, you know, into that.
58:02
Oh, yeah, So good. He's like, well, may she never
58:04
lose that. May she never lose that.
58:06
All right. And 5 words on how you want to
58:09
feel the next six months. Peaceful, creative, aligned,
58:22
surprised and traveling. Traveling.
58:27
Melissa, Stephanie. The last one, yes.
58:30
I need some nomadic travel again.
58:32
Yeah. I love it.
58:34
I love it. I'm with you.
58:35
I understand that completely. All right, can find you and
58:41
follow you. This will also all be on our
58:43
website at embracinglayers.com on the resources page, but let
58:47
people know right now how they can find you, follow you, work
58:50
with you, all those things. On all the socials, we're at the
58:55
Howling Hive and it's the howlinghive.org for our website
59:00
has all of that also. We have a link, we have a
59:03
private app because, well, social media is something right
59:06
now. And so I made an app for our
59:08
community, anyone. I was like, if we're sick of the
59:11
ads and the algorithm, this is a very like sacred private space
59:15
where everyone can come and it has free courses and our free
59:18
ebook about human design and all those things on it.
59:21
OK, great. And that is it.
59:23
What's is the app? A Howling hive as well.
59:26
It's the link is on our website. It's actually through the Mighty
59:29
Networks, so you can search on Mighty Networks.
59:34
OK, the link website. Perfect.
59:37
All right. Any last thoughts you'd like to
59:39
leave with our listeners today? Gratitude is what I'm feeling
59:47
right now, Melissa, for you and this and everything you're
59:50
doing. And I I think real gratitude has
59:53
been a shift in my life instead of guilty gratitude, I used to
59:57
call it when I was in real gratitude feels like presence
1:00:02
and play and embracing the day with this creative spirit that I
1:00:06
just want everyone to go safer this journey.
1:00:10
So I hope we can all go do that. Just be present and grateful
1:00:13
right now. Yeah, yeah.
1:00:17
Barbara, thank you so much for being with me today.
1:00:19
Such a joy to have you. I look forward to having you on
1:00:21
panels and different things in the future.
1:00:24
I just, you know, it's doing these kinds of practices and
1:00:27
sharing them with with women there.
1:00:30
Is this going to allow us to show up as our most authentic
1:00:33
selves to be the disruptors that we need to be in the spaces we
1:00:37
need to be an honor. That honor, however it is that
1:00:40
we are designed to be feeling safe and free to live in that
1:00:44
space and embody that. And if we can support each other
1:00:48
in doing that, that's how we shift these narratives.
1:00:50
So thank you so much for how you show up in the world and the
1:00:54
important work you do. It's it's matters.
1:00:56
And I'm so thankful that Aaron connected us listeners, so much
1:01:02
to gather from this today. Take good care of yourself.
1:01:05
Tap into these resources. We we're here to support you.
1:01:09
We want you to feel like you can live your most authentic,
1:01:13
healthiest life. Celebrate that without apology.
1:01:18
Take good care of yourself. Thanks so much for being with us
1:01:20
here today on the field podcast, and we'll see you again soon.
1:01:24
Take care hello and thank you so much for being with us today on
1:01:29
this episode of the Feel podcast.
1:01:32
If you would like more information on how you can apply
1:01:36
these talking points that I share with our guests in each
1:01:39
episode to your own life, really utilize this Feel framework, go
1:01:45
to embracinglayers.com, fill out our contact form and let's set
1:01:50
up a free 30 minute consultation to talk about how you you can
1:01:55
start living your most authentic, organic, healthy,
1:01:59
feel fueled life. Thanks again for being with us
1:02:03
today. We'll be back to you soon with
1:02:05
another episode here on the Feel Podcast.