Latest / The Marketing Funnel Podcast with Fexingo: Awareness, Interest, Decision, and Action Stages / How the Five Stages of Grief Explain Marketing Funnels
Transcript
- Lucas: Elisabeth Kubler-Ross published 'On Death and Dying' in 1969. She was a Swiss-American psychiatrist, and she identified five stages that terminally ill patients often go through: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Luna: Okay, I know where you're going with this — but that feels dark for a marketing podcast. Lucas: It does. But stick with me. Because those five stages map surprisingly well onto the classic AIDA funnel — Awareness, Interest, Decision, Action — especially when the purchase is emotionally charged. Think about fertility treatments. Or life insurance. Or a will. Luna: Right. Things people don't want to think about. Lucas: Exactly. So let me introduce the case. Carrot Fertility — a startup that offers fertility benefits to employers. They launched in 2016, and by 2022 they were covering more than a thousand companies. But they had a funnel problem. Luna: What kind of problem? Lucas: Their landing pages and email sequences followed the standard AIDA structure. Awareness: 'Did you know one in eight couples struggles with infertility?' Interest: 'Here's how Carrot can help.' Decision: 'Compare plans.' Action: 'Sign up.' But their conversion rates from interest to decision were abysmal — around 8 percent. Luna: Eight percent? That's low. What were they missing? Lucas: Empathy, basically. They realized that their audience — employees dealing with infertility — was stuck in what Kubler-Ross would call the denial and anger stages. The standard funnel assumed they were rational decision-makers comparing options. But they weren't. They were grieving. Luna: So Carrot redesigned their funnel around the five stages instead. Lucas: Yes. Let me walk through each stage. Stage one in the grief model is denial. In marketing terms, that's the pre-awareness phase — the customer isn't even acknowledging the problem. Carrot's old funnel tried to skip this. Their new funnel started with stories: real people talking about how they 'didn't think it would be this hard.' That's denial-busting content. Luna: And it's more relatable than a statistic. Lucas: Stage two is anger. In the funnel, that's when the customer knows they have a problem but is frustrated with the system. High costs, confusing insurance, conflicting advice. Carrot created an email series called 'Why This Costs So Much' — transparent breakdowns of IVF pricing, medication markups. They acknowledged the anger. Luna: That's actually smart. Instead of pretending everything is fine, you validate the frustration. Lucas: Stage three: bargaining. In grief, that's 'if only I'd done this earlier.' In the funnel, it's comparison shopping. Carrot built a side-by-side calculator that let users compare their current out-of-pocket costs with Carrot's network pricing. But the copy didn't say 'save money.' It said 'you've been overpaying, and that's not your fault.' Luna: Interesting — they're reframing the comparison as empowerment, not guilt. Lucas: Stage four is depression. In the funnel, this is decision fatigue. Too many options, too much information. Carrot's old funnel had a 'compare all 47 clinics' page. Their new funnel used a quiz: answer five questions, get three personalized recommendations. That reduced the cognitive load. Luna: And stage five is acceptance — action. Lucas: Right. But Carrot didn't just put a 'Sign Up' button. They added a testimonial from someone who had been through the same journey — a real acceptance narrative. And their conversion rate from interest to decision went from 8 percent to 22 percent. Luna: Wow. But Lucas, I have to push back a little. Isn't there a risk of being manipulative? Using a framework designed for terminal illness to sell something? Lucas: It's a fair question. The key is whether the framework is used to manipulate or to empathize. Carrot wasn't trying to pathologize their customers. They were recognizing that infertility is a genuine emotional struggle. The grief model helped them map where people actually were, not where the marketer wished they were. Luna: I guess it's about intent. If you're using the stages to push someone into a decision they don't want, that's bad. But if you're meeting them where they are... Lucas: Exactly. And this isn't limited to healthcare. Think about any purchase that involves loss or change. Selling a house after a divorce. Choosing a retirement home for a parent. Even buying a car after an accident — that's often a grief purchase. Luna: So the grief funnel works best when the customer is, in some way, saying goodbye to something. Lucas: Yes. And that's the insight. The AIDA model assumes a linear journey from not knowing to wanting. But real life is messy. People cycle back through stages. They go from bargaining to anger again. The funnel has to be flexible enough to accommodate that. Luna: Speaking of real life — I've been thinking about something. We spend a lot of time on this show analyzing funnels that companies build. But there's a meta-funnel right now that we're part of: the podcast itself. Lucas: Go on. Luna: You and I have this conversation every week. We don't run ads. We don't have sponsors. The only reason this keeps going is that some listeners choose to support it on platforms like Buy Me a Coffee. That's a grief-free funnel — it's purely about value. Lucas: It's true. And I think that aligns with what we're talking about today. If this show has helped you think differently about marketing, or given you one concrete idea you've used at work, that's the kind of value that sustains a project like this. The link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, all lowercase. Luna: No pressure. Just a way to keep the conversation going ad-free. Lucas: Exactly. So back to the grief funnel — what about industries where the emotional stakes are low? Does this still apply? Luna: I think it would be overkill. If you're selling socks, you don't need the five stages. But for any purchase that involves fear, shame, or loss — it's worth testing. Lucas: Which brings me to another example: life insurance. A company called Ladder Life used a similar approach. They found that their main funnel drop-off was at the 'get a quote' stage — that's the bargaining to decision transition. People would start, then abandon. Luna: Because they hit the depression stage — too many questions about health history. Lucas: Exactly. So Ladder redesigned the quote form to be three simple questions: age, gender, and whether you smoke. Then they gave a range, not a precise number. That reduced the cognitive load. They called it 'the no medical exam life insurance.' Luna: And they addressed the anger stage too — the frustration that life insurance is opaque. They had a page titled 'Why does life insurance cost what it costs?' with straightforward explanations. Lucas: Right. And their conversion rates improved by about 30 percent. So the pattern holds: when you acknowledge the emotional journey, the funnel performs better. Luna: But I want to go back to the potential downside. If a marketer uses the grief framework cynically — say, manufacturing a sense of loss to drive sales — doesn't that erode trust? Lucas: Absolutely. There's a difference between recognizing an existing emotional state and creating one. The ethics hinge on whether the problem is real. Infertility is real. Fear of dying without coverage is real. But if you're selling luxury watches and you frame not owning one as a 'loss,' that's manipulation. Luna: So the grief funnel is not a template. It's a diagnostic tool. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. You use it to understand where your customer is stuck, not to stick them there. Luna: What about the acceptance stage? In grief, acceptance doesn't mean 'happy.' It means coming to terms. How does that translate to a marketing call to action? Lucas: Carrot's acceptance-stage content featured a user who said, 'I'm not happy this is happening, but I'm ready to do something about it.' That's the tone. Not 'you'll be thrilled.' Just 'you can move forward.' Luna: That strikes me as more honest than the typical 'join now and transform your life' messaging. Lucas: It is. And honesty in high-stakes purchases builds long-term trust. Carrot's net promoter score went up after the redesign. People felt understood. Luna: Before we wrap, I want to bring in one more data point. A study from the Journal of Consumer Research found that when consumers are in a negative emotional state — like grief — they process information more deeply. They're less susceptible to flashy ads and more responsive to detailed, empathetic messaging. Lucas: That aligns perfectly. The grief funnel isn't about short-term clicks. It's about building a relationship through a difficult decision. Luna: So what's the takeaway for our listeners? If you're a marketer working on a product or service that involves a loss or a difficult transition, how do you start? Lucas: Map your current funnel against the five stages. Where are people dropping off? If it's early, they might be in denial — you need better awareness content that names the problem gently. If it's mid-funnel, they might be in bargaining or depression — simplify the comparison and reduce options. Luna: And for the acceptance stage, make sure your call to action doesn't feel like a push. It should feel like permission. Lucas: Yes. Permission, not pressure. Because the goal isn't to rush someone through grief. It's to help them arrive on their own. Luna: That's a good note to end on. A little more human than 'optimize your conversion rate.' Lucas: Sometimes the best marketing tactic is just being honest about how people actually feel.