Latest / Ay Mijita ✨ Embrace your raíces. Reclaim your esencia. / Worth Is Not A Number

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Worth Is Not A Number · Ay Mijita ✨ Embrace your raíces. Reclaim your esencia.

0:06
Dora: Hola hola, bienvenida back to I Mijita, Embracing Your Raíces, Reclaim Your Essentia.
0:12
Dora: I'm your host, Doralicia Praxedis, and today we're getting into something that I know so many of us feel, but we don't always talk about honestly.
0:20
Dora: We're talking about self-worth and money.
0:23
Dora: And consequently, this goes into the nervous system regulation around finances.
0:28
Dora: We're talking about what happens when your mind starts spiraling, your body starts bracing, and suddenly it feels like there's never enough.
0:37
Dora: And I really wanted to record this episode because this past week, and honestly this past month, has brought up a lot for me emotionally.
0:45
Dora: I've been going through a lot internally of reflection, of fear, moments where I had to really catch myself and ask, what is actually happening right now?
0:56
Dora: And what old wound is getting activated?
1:01
Dora: Because sometimes it's just it's not just a bill.
1:04
Dora: And here in the Americas, April 15th is the tax season.
1:10
Dora: And so it's not just about the taxes, and it's not just about the numbers in the bank account, it's the story underneath it, the survival mode that goes underneath it as well.
1:21
Dora: It's the fear that says, What if there's not enough?
1:25
Dora: What if I mess this up?
1:27
Dora: What if I can't hold everything together?
1:30
Dora: What if I'm not safe?
1:32
Dora: What if I can't provide?
1:34
Dora: What if all of this falls apart?
1:37
Dora: Again, all the what-ifs kind of pop into the mind.
1:40
Dora: And whoo! Mijita, that's where I've been.
1:43
Dora: So today I want to open up about what I went through, what came up for me, and what helped me regulate, especially to move me from fear into clarity, and also give you some super practical things you can do if money has been weighing heavy on your chest, too.
2:01
Dora: Because I don't want this to be emotional, it should be useful, healing, and I want it to be something that helps you exhale.
2:12
Dora: Like what we practice normally breathing, right?
2:16
Dora: So settle in, grab your cafecito, your tea, your journal, and take a breath with me.
2:22
Dora: Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
2:31
Dora: And again, inhale through the nose.
2:39
Dora: And let's do this one more time.
2:41
Dora: And when you exhale, I want to hear it.
2:43
Dora: I know I can't hear it through the through here, but you get what I mean.
2:47
Dora: Inhale and exhale.
2:52
Dora: Ah This past month I've been dealing with a lot of self-worth stuff.
3:12
Dora: And I think sometimes when we hear self-worth, we think of confidence.
3:16
Dora: We think of affirmations or speaking nicely to ourselves in the mirror.
3:22
Dora: But real self-worth work, it gets activated when life starts pressing on the tender places.
3:29
Dora: It gets activated when money feels tight, when responsibilities feel heavy, the taxes when they're due, the bills keep coming, you're trying to be responsible, when you're trying to do the right thing, or just to keep your home afloat, support your family, save money, think ahead, be wise, be prepared, and all those things and still breathe.
3:55
Dora: And this past week, especially, I found myself getting emotionally overwhelmed, like override.
4:01
Dora: Like I would cry every day because I felt so overwhelmed.
4:05
Dora: I was worrying about money, about the taxes, the bills, the future, the savings, and I was thinking about all the things that need tending to every single month.
4:18
Dora: And no joke, on Saturday, I sat down and did my taxes for eight hours.
4:23
Dora: Holy moly.
4:24
Dora: Eight hours.
4:25
Dora: And let me tell you, that alone can send somebody into full nervous system spiral.
4:31
Dora: Like you start off organized and calm, and then five hours later you're like, wait, what is that from?
4:39
Dora: Or what's the form?
4:41
Dora: Did I answer that correctly?
4:42
Dora: Can I double check my answers?
4:44
Dora: And you know, it's just a bunch of inputting like numbers and all that, but I'm just questioning, like, what did you mean this changed?
4:52
Dora: Like, I did not know like these tax laws changed.
4:55
Dora: What does this different category now look like?
4:57
Dora: Why do I suddenly feel like my whole life is hanging on by my spreadsheets?
5:01
Dora: And so it took a lot, you know, for me.
5:04
Dora: And fortunately, I have some ways of pulling this information um electronically from my uh apps that I use to budget on a monthly basis.
5:13
Dora: And what was wild is that when I really sat with it, and yes, part of it was stress of doing taxes, and I normally wait till the last day, and I did not this year, which I'm very proud of.
5:24
Dora: But a deeper part of me, it was the emotional charge I already carry about money.
5:29
Dora: Because when you've lived through instability, when we've had those seasons where the money was hard, when you've had the seasons of not enough, the debt, the you had to rebuild yourself back up, especially for me after bankruptcy, when you've had to make really hard financial decisions, your body remembers.
5:53
Dora: Your body remembers before your brain can even make sense of it.
5:56
Dora: So even when you're okay, even when things are workable, even when there is a path forward, your body can still react like danger is here.
6:06
Dora: And that's something I really want to normalize.
6:09
Dora: Because I think a lot of people feel shame around money anxiety.
6:13
Dora: Like, why am I freaking out?
6:15
Dora: Why can't I just calm down?
6:16
Dora: Why do I feel so activated?
6:18
Dora: Why am I obsessed with over the numbers?
6:21
Dora: And the truth is sometimes your nervous system is not reacting to what's only happening now.
6:26
Dora: It's reacting to what money has meant to you over time.
6:30
Dora: Money meant might have meant stress, conflict, pressure, sacrifice, uncertainty, disappointment, or money might have meant survival.
6:42
Dora: So of course, when you sit down to look at taxes, budgets, bills, or debt, your body might tighten up.
6:50
Dora: That doesn't mean you're broken.
6:52
Dora: That means there's tenderness there.
6:57
Dora: What really shifted things for me was this.
6:59
Dora: After all the stress, all the overworking, overthinking, all the worrying, I ended up finding good money in my taxes.
7:09
Dora: And I'm getting a refund.
7:12
Dora: And when I realized that, I felt this wave move through me, relief, gratitude, like thank you, baby Jesus, softness, space.
7:21
Dora: And they made me realize something so important.
7:23
Dora: When I focus on the worry, I contract.
7:26
Dora: When I focus on the possibility that there will actually be enough, I open up.
7:31
Dora: And that doesn't mean bypassing reality or pretending the bills don't exist.
7:38
Dora: And it doesn't mean just think positive.
7:41
Dora: That's not what I'm saying.
7:42
Dora: What I'm saying is that there's a real difference between I need to look at the numbers and I'm going to catastrophize every possible outcome before I even know what's true.
7:53
Dora: There's a difference between responsibility and spiraling, also between awareness and fear.
8:00
Dora: And for me, I realized how easy it is to slip into this old scarcity energy where my body starts acting like everything is about to collapse.
8:07
Dora: Like, come on, dramatic in Spanish.
8:11
Dora: But once I had the actual information, once I saw the numbers, and I finished my taxes, I knew I was getting a refund.
8:20
Dora: I could breathe again.
8:22
Dora: And that was a lesson for me too.
8:24
Dora: Sometimes the anxiety grows because we avoid looking at the numbers or the truth.
8:30
Dora: The ooh, dreaded budget, the statement, or the app that holds it all together, like such as a banking app.
8:38
Dora: And especially we avoid the bills.
8:41
Dora: Because we think not looking protects us.
8:45
Dora: I mean, that's what I thought.
8:46
Dora: You know, like corazón que no ve, corazón que no siente, like the heart that doesn't see can't feel.
8:53
Dora: But it a lot of times, not looking creates more fear than the actual truth itself.
8:59
Dora: And I say that with so much compassion because I've been there.
9:04
Dora: Sometimes I don't want to do the budget because it feels so cumbersome.
9:08
Dora: Like I used to track every single dang line item.
9:11
Dora: Or sometimes I don't want to look at it too deeply because I feel like it will overwhelm me.
9:16
Dora: Like we do spend a lot, there's a lot of line items on our bank account, and I have to go through each one of them.
9:22
Dora: It's like, what a pain.
9:24
Dora: Or just sometimes I don't want to face debt or expense because it feels so emotionally heavy.
9:30
Dora: Like, you know, you rack up some credit card debt, and you're like, damn, what did I do?
9:34
Dora: Girl can do a lot of damage in a short period of time.
9:37
Dora: But every time I do look, I create more power because clarity is power.
9:43
Dora: Avoidance keeps you stuck.
9:44
Dora: Clarity gives you options, and then you got a noodle on them, and then you can have a little fun with it.
9:50
Dora: But it takes it does take a few steps to get there.
9:55
Dora: This is the heart of the episode.
9:58
Dora: Your self-worth is not your bank account.
10:01
Dora: Your self-worth is not your income or your debt or the refund or the ability to save perfectly every month.
10:11
Dora: Your worth is not whether you've got it all figured out financially.
10:15
Dora: And I really want to say this to the woman listening, especially the first gen daughters, the wives, the moms, the caretakers, the woman holding so much invisible labor.
10:28
Dora: You are not less worthy because money feels tight.
10:31
Dora: You are not failing because you're learning, you are not behind because you're rebuilding, and you are not irresponsible because you've been becoming more aware.
10:42
Dora: And for the stay-home moms especially, whew, can we talk about it?
10:48
Dora: Because if you were to actually break down all the things a stay at home mom does, the childcare, the emotional regulation, the cooking, the cleaning, the scheduling, the driving, the mental load, the remembering, the organizing, the caretaking, the teaching, especially if you have little ones under five, the soothing, the anticipating.
11:10
Dora: Mikita, that is not doing nothing.
11:14
Dora: That is labor.
11:16
Dora: That is leadership.
11:17
Dora: It's management, emotional intelligence, it's strategy at like a CEO level, it's operations, like you're doing so many different things logistically.
11:29
Dora: That is care infrastructure.
11:31
Dora: You can't put dollars to that.
11:33
Dora: And yet, so many women internalize this belief that because money is not directly landing in their bank account from an employer, somehow what they do doesn't count.
11:44
Dora: And no, that's a hell no.
11:46
Dora: Absolutely not.
11:47
Dora: Your worth does not come from a paycheck.
11:50
Dora: Your worth is inherent.
11:52
Dora: And yes, money matters.
11:53
Dora: Yes, financial literacy matters, budgeting matters, and then also planning for it.
11:59
Dora: But none of those things determine whether you are valuable.
12:02
Dora: You are already valuable.
12:04
Dora: Money is just a tool, it's just a vehicle to get you places, and obviously it facilitates things happening, but it's not a measure of your soul.
12:13
Dora: That's a huge difference.
12:15
Dora: So that's where.
12:17
Dora: Remember, there's so much you do on a daily basis.
12:21
Dora: And I'm not just talking and just being a mom in general, because even if you work outside the household, like and have that income, it's like itemize all the other stuff too that you do.
12:31
Dora: Because you're doing like I so many hats you wear throughout the day.
12:36
Dora: Um, and if you were to break it down, yeah, you're making a lot of money.
12:40
Dora: I would range it into the 250 to a half a mil if you were to outsource all those things.
12:45
Dora: So just take a time and meditate here.
12:52
Dora: Do you connect financial pressure to your worth, your goodness, or your safety?
12:57
Dora: Just noodle on that for a bit.
13:01
Dora: So I had to ask myself, like, why is this coming up for me so strongly this time around?
13:08
Dora: And this is one of the biggest steps when trying to regulate your nervous system around money.
13:15
Dora: You have to get curious, not judgmental, get curious, not what's wrong with me.
13:22
Dora: But what is this bringing up in me?
13:25
Dora: For me, some of it was old fear.
13:28
Dora: Like these old memories brewing up, that old instability, the patterns around not feeling safe, the pressure around needing to make sure everything is okay.
13:43
Dora: The beliefs that I had to hold everything together.
13:47
Dora: And when you're someone who has to be strong for a long time, money can become one of those places where in your body it grips so hard.
13:56
Dora: Because money starts to symbolize safety, control, stability, protection, future, breathing room.
14:06
Dora: So when there's uncertainty, it's not just about the dollars.
14:10
Dora: It can feel like your whole foundation is being threatened.
14:14
Dora: And that's why I really want to say if you find yourself getting activated around finances, don't stop the budget sheet.
14:22
Dora: Also, ask yourself what does money represent to me?
14:27
Dora: What did I learn about money growing up?
14:31
Dora: What happened in my family around money?
14:36
Dora: Was money talked about?
14:38
Dora: Was it fought over?
14:40
Dora: And I know my mommy and daddy thought about money all the time.
14:43
Dora: Like, yeah.
14:44
Dora: Um, my mom usually held the finances, but my dad would always kind of yell at her, like, you're spending so much money.
14:49
Dora: But I mean, come on.
14:50
Dora: Three girls, you need to dress them up, and you know, we need to look pretty.
14:54
Dora: Was it hidden, like the money fact in your household?
14:59
Dora: Was there shame?
15:00
Dora: I know in my household, like now, there was a lot of shame at first talking about money.
15:05
Dora: Was there fear?
15:08
Dora: Did I connect money with love?
15:10
Dora: Like if you the more money you had, the more love you had?
15:13
Dora: Was it connected to survival or with success?
15:18
Dora: And I know for me, more money meant people were more successful.
15:21
Dora: Like the more shit you bought, like a car and a house and this and a that, and the more material things you had, you had you were off really good.
15:29
Dora: Or did it connect with worthiness?
15:31
Dora: And that's the one I'm struggling with, actually.
15:34
Dora: Because your nervous system doesn't care about spreadsheets alone, it cares about meaning.
15:39
Dora: And once I started asking myself those deeper questions, I realized, ooh, mm-mm.
15:45
Dora: This isn't about this month.
15:48
Dora: This is touching old places in me, like old wounds, old things that are coming up.
15:52
Dora: Like my body totally remembers.
15:54
Dora: And that awareness alone helped me soften it.
15:59
Dora: Another thing that really helped me this week was getting honest.
16:03
Dora: I actually came out to my family and said, I'm worried.
16:07
Dora: I'm feeling so much fucking stress over this.
16:09
Dora: I'm feeling anxious about saving, I feel the pressure of the day-to-day bills, and I'm in my head.
16:16
Dora: And that was so important.
16:18
Dora: Because sometimes when we're in financial stress, we isolate or we carry it alone.
16:24
Dora: Like I think I have to figure all this shit out by myself.
16:27
Dora: Or we make it heavier by trying to protect everyone from what we're feeling.
16:32
Dora: But when you're in a partnership, when you're in family, when you have support, you have to let yourself be seen too.
16:43
Dora: Just the way you are.
16:44
Dora: I know it's super vulnerable, I know it's hard, even for oneself to admit that you're not perfect.
16:49
Dora: I'm just kidding.
16:50
Dora: We we're not perfect.
16:51
Dora: It's just more of like, you know, having the dip, like you're in the slump of like, oh, and and if you're tied with the worthiness and everything, like it just it's all entrenched and entangled with each other.
17:05
Dora: And I'll say this it helps so much when your partner is on the same page.
17:12
Dora: When that person can meet you in the reality of things instead of making you feel like you're going crazy.
17:18
Dora: When your partner can help ground the moment, when it feels like, okay, we're in this together, that matters.
17:28
Dora: That, oh, I felt so held by Feely, my husband, when he said, like, pretty much yellow, not really.
17:36
Dora: Um, but he's like, we'll figure it out.
17:37
Dora: Don't worry, we'll figure it out.
17:39
Dora: Because the nervous system regulates in safety and relational safety is huge.
17:45
Dora: It's a huge step.
17:47
Dora: Before when Feely and I would have these conversations, he would spiral out of control even before I got like to the next sentence.
17:52
Dora: Because it's like, what?
17:54
Dora: We don't have money, blah, blah, blah, blah.
17:56
Dora: Or I thought we had more safe, what happened?
17:59
Dora: And I would feel like it was my fault.
18:03
Dora: But not everybody has that relational safety.
18:07
Dora: And I know that because I've been there with Feli.
18:10
Dora: But this time around it was different.
18:12
Dora: It was super, super different because I was able to like be vulnerable and be held.
18:19
Dora: But if you do have someone safe, a partner, a sister, a friend, a coach, a therapist, a comadre, please know that speaking out loud can interrupt that spiral.
18:32
Dora: Sometimes the shame grows into secrecy, or the fear gets louder in silence.
18:38
Dora: And when you finally say it out loud, oh, such a relief.
18:43
Dora: This is when you and you say something like, This is what I'm worried about.
18:48
Dora: This is what um is weighing on me.
18:50
Dora: This is what I need support with.
18:52
Dora: And it doesn't necessarily have to be about money, but today's episode is all about the money, right?
18:56
Dora: Show me the money.
18:57
Dora: But once you put it out there, something shifts.
19:01
Dora: You don't feel so alone inside anymore.
19:04
Dora: And that that in and of self, it's like a miracle or magical for me to have witnessed that this past week, where I came out to my family over a pit, like a fire pit, and just told them and cried.
19:16
Dora: Oh my god, mocos, like the the boogers were coming out.
19:19
Dora: But it felt so relieving just getting it out there.
19:24
Dora: So let's talk practical nervous system regulation.
19:28
Dora: Because I know regulate your nervous system can sound a little buzz phrase online, but I want to talk about how it actually looked for me.
19:37
Dora: So step number one, I noticed I was activated.
19:41
Dora: That sounds simple, but it matters.
19:43
Dora: I noticed my thoughts were racing, I was future tripping, and I was bracing.
19:50
Dora: I was tightening internally, like my shoulders were tight.
19:54
Dora: I was making things feel bigger and scarier before I had all the facts.
19:58
Dora: The first step is awareness.
20:00
Dora: You cannot regulate what you are not willing to notice.
20:04
Dora: Step two, I stopped making the feeling mean something about me.
20:09
Dora: I had to say, okay, I am anxious right now, that does not mean I am failing.
20:15
Dora: And I had to really stop myself in my tracks and I just tell myself, I am activated right now.
20:21
Dora: That does not mean I am bad with money.
20:24
Dora: And the other one was, I am scared right now.
20:27
Dora: That does not mean there won't be enough.
20:30
Dora: And this was huge for me because sometimes we stack suffering like on top of each other.
20:37
Dora: There's the actual fear, and then there's a shame about the fear.
20:40
Dora: So now you're not only worried about the money, you're also judging yourself for being worried, and that doubles a load.
20:47
Dora: Step number three, I got curious about the root.
20:50
Dora: I asked myself, why is this so charged?
20:54
Dora: Why or what am I making this mean?
20:59
Dora: What am I afraid of?
21:01
Dora: What old part of me feels unsafe right now?
21:04
Dora: And this moved me from panic into presence, like in my present moment, in my body.
21:08
Dora: Like, okay, the here and the now, let's focus and lock in.
21:12
Dora: Step number four.
21:13
Dora: I act I looked at the actual numbers.
21:16
Dora: Again, the clarity, not the vibes only like I'm feeling this way, or you know, like I'm avoiding it, and not the I'm, you know, quote unquote manifesting the shit while ignoring the reality.
21:28
Dora: I really sat down and did the actual work, the taxes, the review, the numbers, the forms.
21:35
Dora: Then there's a bajillion forms to fill out, especially when you have a business.
21:39
Dora: The truth.
21:40
Dora: And yes, it took forever.
21:42
Dora: It took flipping more than eight hours and some fucking hesitation when I submitted the button and it got rejected because something was not jiving with the IRS.
21:50
Dora: But doing it helped me bring me back into reality instead of that fear fantasy, this loop of fear over and over again.
21:58
Dora: Step number five.
22:00
Dora: I let myself receive the good news.
22:02
Dora: This one matters too, you know.
22:04
Dora: When I realized I was getting a refund, I let myself feel that.
22:07
Dora: I'm like, fuck yeah, woo! And I shared it with Feely, I showed him the screen.
22:11
Dora: I'm like, yay! I let myself exhale, I let myself soften and receive.
22:19
Dora: Because sometimes when we're so used to stress, we don't know how to receive relief.
22:25
Dora: Or even receive, period.
22:28
Dora: We stay in the bracing even after the danger passes.
22:31
Dora: So if something good happens, let it land.
22:36
Dora: Let your body know it's okay to unclench now, okay?
22:40
Dora: Your jaw.
22:41
Dora: It's good.
22:43
Dora: Step number six.
22:45
Dora: I shared it with my family, what I was feeling.
22:47
Dora: So obviously I jumped to conclusions here, but like, yeah, I shared it with Feely.
22:51
Dora: I shared him the screen.
22:53
Dora: Regulation through connection is such a big deal.
22:56
Dora: And I shared it with my kids, um, the numbers, and we're all like, yes, finally, like my money little tactics last year worked.
23:04
Dora: And that was rewarding.
23:06
Dora: Just see them like be happy for us.
23:08
Dora: Of course, it's not going to change like dynamic of the family because we're still working on that part, but at least the the good news, right?
23:15
Dora: Just sharing it.
23:17
Dora: Step number seven, I return to the practical action.
23:22
Dora: Because practical action is regulating too.
23:25
Dora: A budget can regulate you, a savings plan can regulate you, a conversation, and especially an emergency fund can regulate you.
23:35
Dora: Why?
23:37
Dora: Because safety is not only emotional, it's also structural.
23:43
Dora: So now I want to talk about some of the practical things that came up for me through a webinar I attended through work.
23:50
Dora: And I love this because it wasn't just about save the money.
23:54
Dora: It was about actually finding money.
23:57
Dora: Sometimes we think about the only way to improve our financial situation is to make more, like more income, more money, hustle and grind.
24:03
Dora: And yes, making more can help.
24:06
Dora: Absolutely, for sure.
24:07
Dora: But sometimes the first step is finding the leaks, finding those inefficiencies, or finding places where money is leaving without much intention.
24:17
Dora: So here are some of the biggest takeaways.
24:20
Dora: Number one, build a budget.
24:21
Dora: Yes, I know, not sexy, not glamorous, can feel annoying, but a budget is simply income minus expenses.
24:30
Dora: That's it.
24:31
Dora: It's not punishment, it's awareness.
24:34
Dora: It's knowing what's coming in, what's going out, what are the fixed expenses, what changes month to month, where is the money actually going, and reviewing it monthly is key.
24:46
Dora: Not to shame yourself, but to track the truth.
24:50
Dora: Because when you know what your money is doing, you can direct it more intentionally.
24:56
Dora: Number two, shop your car insurance and homeowner's insurance or renter's insurance if you rent.
25:01
Dora: This one was such a good reminder because if it's been a while, especially more than six months, shop around.
25:09
Dora: Compare.
25:10
Dora: Bundle it if it makes sense.
25:12
Dora: See what's out there.
25:14
Dora: Sometimes we stay on autopilot with bills just because it feels easier, but a quick review can save you real money.
25:21
Dora: And sometimes we also stick around because there's loyalty, right?
25:24
Dora: So you have to kind of weigh those benefits.
25:26
Dora: Number three, review your phone bill, internet, cable, subscriptions.
25:31
Dora: Go line by line.
25:32
Dora: I know it's painstaking, like eyesore, but you do like you need to ask yourself do you need it?
25:38
Dora: Can you downgrade it?
25:40
Dora: Can you negotiate?
25:42
Dora: Can you switch carriers?
25:44
Dora: Are you paying for things you forgot about?
25:46
Dora: Those little monthly charges add up fast.
25:49
Dora: Like I know we have Netflix and uh HBO Max and Disney Channel and all these things.
25:55
Dora: Maybe there's a way to bundle it all together and you're paying more, you're paying less instead of doing it all up like individually.
26:01
Dora: So things like that.
26:02
Dora: Number four, put your savings toward an emergency fund first.
26:07
Dora: This was huge when I saw this.
26:10
Dora: If you have an extra$500 or more per month from these adjustments, that money can start building a safety net if you don't have one already.
26:20
Dora: And that matters so much, especially in this day and age, because a lot of people end up in deeper financial hardship, not because they're irresponsible, but because they don't have a cushion when life happens.
26:31
Dora: And who doesn't know that life happens like every flippin' week?
26:35
Dora: A car repair, a medical bill, a home issue, a surprise expense.
26:40
Dora: So building an emergency b emergency fund matters.
26:44
Dora: The recommendation I heard was somewhere between$1,000 and$5,000, depending on your needs and your life.
26:51
Dora: And that made sense to me because yes,$1,000 is a start, but if your real life emergency is more than that, then maybe your personal goal needs to be higher.
27:00
Dora: So ask, what would make me feel more secure?
27:04
Dora: What kinds of emergencies are realistic in my life?
27:07
Dora: What amount would create breathing room?
27:11
Dora: Number five.
27:13
Dora: Once the emergency fund is built, put extra towards debt.
27:18
Dora: This is where the power of small consistency comes in.
27:22
Dora: Even an extra$50 to$100 towards debt each month can start cutting time off your payoff journey.
27:29
Dora: And I know when you look at the debt, it can feel overwhelming.
27:32
Dora: I know it does for me.
27:34
Dora: Like your extra payment though, won't that you that it won't make the difference, but it does.
27:39
Dora: It does.
27:40
Dora: Consistency matters more than perfection.
27:42
Dora: Okay, remember that.
27:43
Dora: Consistency, consistency.
27:45
Dora: Number six, use tools that support you.
27:49
Dora: Now, not everybody loves budgeting the same way.
27:52
Dora: Some people want spreadsheets, some want apps, some want pen to paper.
27:58
Dora: I get it.
27:59
Dora: For me, I've used to do different things over the years, okay.
28:03
Dora: I used to use Quicken for years, and I used to do pen and paper, and that was and spreadsheets.
28:08
Dora: Oh goodness gracious, that was hard.
28:10
Dora: But for me, it felt like a lot to keep up with.
28:14
Dora: And I really didn't love the app experience in Quicken.
28:18
Dora: It felt more computer-based and a little too cumbersome for the season I was in.
28:22
Dora: So then I got introduced to Monarch like about a year ago.
28:25
Dora: And that was honestly, that has been my favorite, especially when I did my tech season, because that's what I used to help organize things for the taxes.
28:32
Dora: And I really liked it because I just got to spread, you know, click on a button and I can get a report and I can download it really quick and then put it in Google Sheets, and there we go.
28:40
Dora: We're off.
28:41
Dora: And then this year I actually tried Rocket Money, which has been helpful in different ways, but it and it does also do some automatic savings kind of in the background.
28:51
Dora: And then I realized after a few months, I have around like$250 saved, which is not bad at all.
28:56
Dora: Like it was like$12 here,$5 here, like it would kind of save it for me and push it into this account.
29:03
Dora: So the point here isn't that you need the perfect app.
29:07
Dora: The point is use a system you will actually stick with.
29:11
Dora: Because the best system is the one that supports your reality.
29:18
Dora: Okay, can we be honest?
29:20
Dora: Sometimes budgeting isn't hard because it's mathematically difficult.
29:24
Dora: Sometimes it's hard because it's emotionally activating.
29:27
Dora: Because when you budget, you confront the reality.
29:32
Dora: And when reality has felt stressful in the past, your body may want to avoid it.
29:37
Dora: Also, for women, for many women, especially women who carry a lot of mentally and emotionally already, one more adulting quote unquote task can feel exhausting.
29:49
Dora: So if budgeting feels hard for you, I want to invite compassion instead of judgment.
29:55
Dora: Because maybe you're not lazy.
29:58
Dora: Maybe you're just overwhelmed.
30:00
Dora: Maybe your nervous system hears budget and translates to restriction, punishment, deprivation, fear, not enough.
30:10
Dora: But what if a budget could instead mean care, attention, stewardship, attention, support?
30:22
Dora: What if budgeting was an act of self-respect?
30:26
Dora: What if it was a way of saying, I am willing to look at my life with honesty, to support myself, and to create more state safety?
30:36
Dora: That reframe can change a lot.
30:41
Dora: One of the deepest lessons in all of this for me has been around receiving.
30:48
Dora: Because when I'm in a scarcity, I grip, I overthink, I tighten, I brace, I worry, I go into survival mode.
30:59
Dora: And when I'm in survival mode, it's very hard to receive.
31:03
Dora: Not just receive the money, but the support, the love, the help, rest, receive evidence that things are working out.
31:14
Dora: Scarcity says, hold tight, prepare for the worst, brace the ship here, don't trust, don't soften.
31:22
Dora: But receiving says there is support here too.
31:26
Dora: There are resources here.
31:37
Dora: And this is not about becoming delusional, it's about becoming open.
31:42
Dora: Because I really noticed that once I shifted from, oh my god, what if there's not enough to let me look, let me breathe, let me trust that there may actually be enough.
31:54
Dora: I am resourced enough to work with what's here.
31:58
Dora: My whole energy changed.
32:01
Dora: And that matters.
32:03
Dora: Because your nervous system can feel the difference between doom and grounded responsibility.
32:11
Dora: Another big thing that came up through doing my taxes is here is how much things change.
32:17
Dora: The rules change, the deductions change, what worked before doesn't always work now.
32:23
Dora: And one thing I realized is that meals and entertainment are not what they used to be in terms of deductions for how I was operating before.
32:30
Dora: So for 2026, I they're not gonna for this next upcoming year.
32:36
Dora: So now eating out and stuff, like if I take a coaching client or someone out for dinner or for lunch or for coffee or whatnot, like I won't be able to deduct that this this year.
32:45
Dora: So that's gonna definitely change the the budgeting thing for this year, uh, for my next year taxes.
32:52
Dora: And that's where I would build most of my connection.
32:55
Dora: So I have to get creative now on how I do that.
32:57
Dora: So that means I have to adjust.
32:59
Dora: And I think that's another life lesson, too.
33:02
Dora: Just because something made sense in one season doesn't mean it still needs to make sense now.
33:07
Dora: So for me, one of the shifts I'm making is cooking more at home, being more intentional, shopping the deals, being smarter with my money.
33:16
Dora: Not from deprivation, but from wisdom.
33:20
Dora: That's a different energy altogether.
33:23
Dora: Not I can't have anything, but I'm choosing what actually supports my life right now.
33:29
Dora: And this is where financial maturity can actually feel empowering.
33:33
Dora: Because it's not about punishment, it's about alignment.
33:39
Dora: I also want to talk about the balance between short-term and long-term goals.
33:44
Dora: Because when money is stressful, sometimes all you can think about is the immediate relief.
33:50
Dora: And that makes sense.
33:51
Dora: If your nervous system doesn't feel safe, it's hard to think long-term.
33:56
Dora: That's why the order does matter.
33:59
Dora: First, awareness, then small savings, then the emergency fund, then debt support, then you think about the bigger long-term goals like retirement and wealth building.
34:13
Dora: And yes, retirement matters.
34:15
Dora: Long-term investments matter.
34:17
Dora: Thinking ahead does matter as well.
34:19
Dora: But future, you deserve care too.
34:23
Dora: And I'm saying this now within my cancer journey.
34:28
Dora: Like I know I'm thinking long-term, and I've always thinked long-term for retirement.
34:31
Dora: But right now it's like, do I really want to think about that right now?
34:35
Dora: Because like I'm in a boat right now where I just want to worry about the day of tomorrow.
34:39
Dora: But in the back of my mind, though, I'm still saving for retirement.
34:44
Dora: But I also want to say this gently.
34:46
Dora: If you are in a season where the biggest win right now is building your first emergency cushion, that still matters.
34:53
Dora: Don't minimize small financial wins.
34:56
Dora: A budget is a win.
34:57
Dora: An honest conversation, that's a flippin' win.
35:00
Dora: Finding$50 in savings.
35:01
Dora: Woo-hoo.
35:02
Dora: Building your first$500.
35:04
Dora: That when you get there, oof, it feels so good.
35:06
Dora: And not avoiding your numbers is also a win.
35:09
Dora: Learning is also winning at this game.
35:16
Dora: I really want to speak to the woman listening who has quietly tied her worth to being on top of everything.
35:23
Dora: The one who feels more lovable when she's productive, or feels safer when there's more money in the account.
35:31
Dora: Or the one who feels like she has to be the one who thinks ahead, plans ahead, embraces ahead.
35:37
Dora: Mijita, I get it.
35:42
Dora: But your worth is not how perfectly you manage every variable.
35:46
Dora: Your worth is not in never feeling fear or never making mistakes.
35:53
Dora: It's not in having a flawless financial history.
35:56
Dora: Your worth is not in how much you earn, save, fix, or carry.
36:01
Dora: You are worthy because you exist.
36:05
Dora: You are worthy in the process.
36:07
Dora: While learning, while healing.
36:12
Dora: You are worthy while rebuilding trust with yourself.
36:16
Dora: And that matters so much because if you don't separate your worth from your financial reality, every money conversation becomes an identity crisis.
36:26
Dora: And it doesn't have to be that way.
36:29
Dora: Money can be something you learn.
36:32
Dora: It could be something you repair.
36:36
Dora: Money can be something you get wiser with over time.
36:41
Dora: It could also be something you grow up, grow into.
36:44
Dora: Like I want to be gr I want to grow up and you know and have a certain lifestyle.
36:49
Dora: But your worth that was never up for debate.
36:56
Dora: So I want to leave you with a simple framework you can come back to anytime money anxiety starts rising.
37:04
Dora: First, pause.
37:06
Dora: Before you spiral, pause.
37:09
Dora: Put your feet on the floor.
37:11
Dora: Take a breath.
37:15
Dora: Name what's happening.
37:18
Dora: I am feeling anxious or I'm feeling activated.
37:22
Dora: I am scared right now.
37:26
Dora: Next, we're gonna ground.
37:28
Dora: So bring yourself back into your body.
37:32
Dora: Hand on chest and the other hand on your belly.
37:37
Dora: And we're gonna do some long exhales.
37:42
Dora: So breathing through your nose.
37:45
Dora: And out through your mouth.
37:52
Dora: Do this as many times as you need.
38:00
Dora: We're gonna unclench your jaw, soften your shoulders.
38:07
Dora: And remind your body that I am here right now.
38:12
Dora: I can take this one step at a time.
38:18
Dora: Next, we're gonna get curious.
38:21
Dora: Ask yourself, what is this really bringing up?
38:27
Dora: What story am I telling myself?
38:32
Dora: What old fear is here?
38:37
Dora: What am I making this mean about me?
38:43
Dora: Next, we're gonna look at the facts.
38:47
Dora: Open the account, look at the bill, review the budget, check the numbers.
38:55
Dora: And if you're in this tax season, do the taxes.
39:00
Dora: And if you're reviewing, you want to make the calls, make the calls.
39:04
Dora: Shop around, do what you gotta do.
39:08
Dora: Facts help interrupt that fear fantasy.
39:12
Dora: Next, we're gonna take one small action.
39:16
Dora: Not ten, okay, just one.
39:19
Dora: Review one bill.
39:21
Dora: You can cancel one subscription, move twenty-five dollars to savings, update one category in your budget, shop around for insurance policy.
39:33
Dora: Set up one debt payment.
39:36
Dora: Small action, build safety.
39:40
Dora: And then lastly, receive.
39:42
Dora: When something works out, let it land.
39:44
Dora: Let it land on your body.
39:46
Dora: If it's the refund, the savings, the support, the conversation, the clarity.
39:57
Dora: Let yourself receive the evidence that you are not as unsupported as fear would have you believe.
40:08
Dora: What I'm taking from this whole experience is this.
40:11
Dora: I am still healing my relationship with money, and that's gonna be ongoing.
40:15
Dora: I mean, that's gonna probably never stop, but at least I'm in a better spot than I was a year ago.
40:20
Dora: I'm healing the places in me that equate safety with control.
40:24
Dora: And I am still healing the part of me that braces before I have all the information.
40:30
Dora: But I'm also seeing how much growth there is because old me might have stayed in the spiral way longer.
40:37
Dora: The old me might have kept it all inside and I would have never said anything.
40:42
Dora: Or I would have avoided looking altogether.
40:45
Dora: I would have just been like punching in whatever numbers.
40:48
Dora: I might have made the fear mean something way bigger than it actually is.
40:53
Dora: And now I'm learning to pause, to look, to tell the truth, to ask the deeper questions, to make practical changes moving forward, to receive what is here instead of making up shit that's not even there.
41:09
Dora: To remember that I am a resource, that I am resourced enough to figure this shit out, okay?
41:13
Dora: Not by myself, like I have, and then I can tap into other resources.
41:17
Dora: And that's the another thing I really want to leave you with.
41:20
Dora: You are a resource.
41:22
Dora: Especially if you're a season where money feels uncertain.
41:26
Dora: I want you to remember your worth is not just in what you have, it's also in the creativity, your wisdom, your resilience, your adaptability, your support system, your capacity to learn, your ability to make decisions, and especially your ability to rebuild.
41:47
Dora: So if everything gets goes to shit, I know for a fact you are able to rebuild that much stronger.
41:53
Dora: You are not powerless, you are resourced.
42:03
Dora: So if this episode spoke to you, and if you've been dealing with some money anxiety, self-worth wounds, fear around the future, or just trying to get honest with where you're at financially, I hope this reminded you that you are not alone.
42:17
Dora: I hope it reminded you that your nervous system deserves tenderness.
42:22
Dora: And I hope it reminded you that practical support and emotional healing get to go together.
42:28
Dora: And I sure hope that it reminded you that your self-worth is not and will never be your bank account.
42:35
Dora: So take a deep breath, Mikita.
42:37
Dora: Here in out.
42:43
Dora: You do not have to figure out your whole life in like today.
42:47
Dora: You have to take the next grounded step.
42:51
Dora: If this episode resonated, share it with a friend, a sister, a comadre, someone who needs this reminder.
42:57
Dora: Then make sure you're subscribed to IMIGita so you don't miss future episodes.
43:02
Dora: You can also connect with me on Instagram at Dprexedis and hand over to donaprexedis.com for the ways to work with me.
43:10
Dora: Join my community and stay connected.
43:13
Dora: Until next time, embrace your raíces, reclaim your essencia.
43:17
Dora: Los quiero mucho.
43:18
Dora: Besote, big, big kiss, and see you at next time.
43:22
Dora: Bye, buddy.