Latest / LIFE Podcast with Dr. C / Rewire Your Brain with Kindness

Transcript

Rewire Your Brain with Kindness · LIFE Podcast with Dr. C

• 0:07
  Dr C: Hola and welcome back to the live podcast where we believe that wellness is a daily practice of creating harmony between all the messy parts of our human experience.
• 0:16
  Dr C: I'm your host, Dr.
• 0:17
  Dr C: C, and today's episode is incredibly close to my heart.
• 0:21
  Dr C: Recently I had one of those days, one of those crazy rapid fire days where I was completely absorbed in managing other people's anxieties.
• 0:29
  Dr C: I had just stepped out of a meeting and felt like a hamster on a wheel.
• 0:34
  Dr C: And my emotions were at their absolute limit.
• 0:37
  Dr C: So as I walked out of my office, a colleague hands me a postcard.
• 0:40
  Dr C: And I look at this postcard going, hmm, I haven't received a postcard in I don't know how long, right?
• 0:45
  Dr C: So many years.
• 0:46
  Dr C: Um and it arrived just on time from a complete stranger.
• 0:51
  Dr C: That postcard grounded me, it reminded me of my power and of the law of the littles, and it helped me return to a neutral state and continue my day.
• 1:01
  Dr C: That stranger was Judy Swanson.
• 1:03
  Dr C: Judy is a licensed clinical social worker, a registered mental health professional, and the phenomenal force behind kindness champions.
• 1:11
  Dr C: Today she's here to talk about how simple acts of kindness and gratitude can literally rewire our brains.
• 1:17
  Dr C: Let's dive into it.
• 1:18
  Dr C: Judy, I'm so excited to have you here.
• 1:20
  Dr C: Welcome to the live podcast.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Dr.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: C, I'm so excited.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is such a pleasure, and I can't wait to talk more.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you so much for having me.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: It truly is my honor.
• 1:32
  Dr C: Well, you know, you came into my life unexpectedly and right on time, as I was saying when I started the episode.
• 1:40
  Dr C: I experienced firsthand the profound impact that your kindness can can have.
• 1:47
  Dr C: So, what was the catalyst that inspired you to start Kindness Champions?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: So years ago, it was that voice inside of me kept saying, do something else, do more.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a master's degree social worker and was working in a school district, which I love the work.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with at that point teenagers in a high school, and they are amazing people.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yet I just continue to have this inner voice with inside of me to do something in addition to that.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: What I was doing was already enough.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm involved in people's lives.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it kept just pushing me to do more and do more.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's kind of that thing of evolution.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, I want to do this and I want to do this, and thinking what's impactful and meaning.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, kindness champions just came to mind because I'm just such a strong believer in the power of kindness.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: I've had so much kindness in my life, and I've seen how it has impacted other people's lives.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's good for all of us.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I there's research out there that says year one act of kindness has the potential to send a ripple to up to 125 people.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 3:01
  Dr C: One act of kindness one ripples through 120.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because then they get inspired, and that person gets inspired.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And even somebody watching an act of kindness, all those positive chemicals in their brain get set off and it goes bing, bing, bing, bing, and then you feel better about yourself.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's all those happy feel-good hormones.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what one act of kindness can do.
• 3:25
  Dr C: That's amazing.
• 3:25
  Dr C: I mean, that that's what I felt, you know, when I saw the postcard and I was like, what is this?
• 3:30
  Dr C: And then I'm like, who who sent me this?
• 3:32
  Dr C: Who's saying all these beautiful things to me that I don't even know?
• 3:37
  Dr C: So, yes, I definitely definitely helped me get through the rest of my day.
• 3:40
  Dr C: And it it immediately, instantly put a smile on my face to think that there was someone, you know, out in the world took five minutes, whatever, however long it took to write those words on the postcard, just to make me feel good.
• 3:56
  Dr C: And so I'm forever thankful for that.
• 3:58
  Dr C: And you know, we often feel that like to make a difference, it has to be these big old gestures, and we have to spend all this money and and we have to, you know, make sure that it's being recorded so that we could post it, right?
• 4:10
  Dr C: And how so how does your project redefine the scale of impact in a world that feels currently, well, very overwhelming?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the world is currently very overwhelming, yet I think it redefines if you call it the scale, it's just that in our own ways, we can be kind to one another and it makes that difference.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of throwing out that visualness of it that other people have to be watching, and I have to do kindness to many people.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: It throws all that out because one person's kindness is one person's kindness, every life matters.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to how did I want to help people just remind them to be kind to themselves and others, you know, spotlight, stories of people doing good.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll show you, you know, the small scale of kindness.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: At one point, I was taking a walk, and one of my neighbors, her name's Carol, and Carol's like, Judy, I'm not kindness champions.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: How can I make a difference?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Oh my gosh, right?
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Just who you are makes a difference.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: And she it triggered a memory in her head that one day she was at the grocery store and she was going in and smiling at people, and this one woman came up to her and said, Thank you so much for smiling at me.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: You are the only smile I experienced today.
• 5:32
  Dr C: Wow.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's sad.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's sad, yet it just reminds you that Carol smiled, and that woman took to heart that moment that will stay with her.
• 5:44
  Dr C: Yeah, yeah.
• 5:46
  Dr C: We never know what someone else is going through, right?
• 5:50
  Dr C: Wow.
• 5:50
  Dr C: And I know that you also have spotlight stories in on your website.
• 5:54
  Dr C: You've spoken with people all around the world, which is phenomenal, who are quietly doing the work to make things better.
• 6:01
  Dr C: You've inspired so many people to act small acts of kindness.
• 6:06
  Dr C: Could you share a story that profoundly inspired you and demonstrates this everyday heroism?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think with I I reflected on your question with all my kindness champion spotlight stories.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And each person, it's so interesting.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: Each person started off in the small way to do something, right?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It was never meant to be a grand gesture.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It just started with starting to help another person.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: For some reason, something caught their eye and it evolved.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: I remember one woman, she has a nonprofit in Rochester, New York, and she decided to help women who have been victims of being sex trafficked.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: And when she was writing up her nonprofit, she said, her and her friend got the book, starting a nonprofit for dummies, you know, one of those workbooks.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Right to learn how to do it.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: So I think the tenacity of these people inspired me, you know, and they just things evolved and got bigger.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yet there was always joy in it.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: There was always meaning of this is how I'm going to make my part of the world a better place.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: So all these people with their stories, they just inspire me.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: Each time I interview somebody, I'm like, that's the coolest.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then I interview the next person, I'm like, oh my gosh, right?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like, there's badasses out there in their quiet ways, just finding a way to make a difference.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like too often in our news cycle, sometimes in media, you see all those stories of hardship.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: And there is hardship.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not negating that.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yet just imagine if we look more of these stories of people helping one another because they're out there and it's really incredible.
• 7:51
  Dr C: It really is.
• 7:52
  Dr C: You know, it there's the saying, right?
• 7:54
  Dr C: If it bleeds, it leads.
• 7:55
  Dr C: And, you know, there's also the do doom scrolling where we're constantly exposed to negativity, to hopelessness, to people, you know, maliciously taking advantage of others.
• 8:07
  Dr C: And so, yeah, that that does have an effect on you.
• 8:09
  Dr C: And I always talk about in my burnout coaching, recovery coaching, I always talk about, you know, how what are you consuming?
• 8:17
  Dr C: You know, what are you saying to yourself?
• 8:18
  Dr C: What's that inner voice?
• 8:20
  Dr C: What's the what's the recording going on in your in your brain and how it literally does affect your mood?
• 8:27
  Dr C: It affects your health, and it affects how how you navigate through life.
• 8:31
  Dr C: So for someone listening who wants to be a helper, right?
• 8:36
  Dr C: Wants to wants to do this in their own community, how can they start tuning their radar to see the positive impact happening in their own backyard to stay inspired and to continue to pay it forward?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a couple ways to do it.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Just remember saying hello and being friendly to people around you.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't always receive it back, yet that's okay.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like doing that once again, and it's kind of a brain hack to feel better, if you will.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of my friends calls kindness, she calls it her selfish medicine, because when she's having a bad day, she will go make the same casserole for her niece who has children and bring them dinner, right?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just she's having a big day, and what will happen is her brain responds to it.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are biology-based brains, she'll feel better.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: All those chemicals will go off in her brain, which helps her to feel more resilient, more negates those hard days.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually been studies on stress, and actually, if you're being kind through very stressful times, it will negate all that negative stress on your body.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: You won't have the same physiological impact.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just looking around you.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think I share with you sometimes on my next door app, which is, you know, neighbors with resources.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody will say, Thank you so much for this, or I'm trying to do this.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll see all this chain of people like I can help in this way, and I can help in this way.
• 10:10
  Dr C: It's amazing.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And most local news media, they'll do a bright spot story.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you have to dig for them.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: It sometimes don't even look at the media, just look at what you're doing around you.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, call up somebody you care about and say, hey, I just want to tell you I love you.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Send somebody a postcard or snail mail, put a post-it note on somebody's desk.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I know when I worked more like in a school system and there was just really hard times, I would make a baked treat.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not a baker, it was box.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yet I would make some baked treats and bring it in.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And everybody, there was that sense of community and kind of helping people feel a little better about themselves.
• 10:53
  Dr C: Love that.
• 10:53
  Dr C: And as a clinical social worker, you focus on helping individuals find specific personalized hacks, right?
• 11:01
  Dr C: They can embed into their daily lives rather than offering like this one size fits all solution, which doesn't work, right?
• 11:07
  Dr C: We know there's no magic pill to wellness, but putting on your clinical social work hat, what is the most practical step a listener can take to stop stepping out and begin instilling hope in themselves?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So the thing to instilling hope is gratitude has been shown to be the most effective if you're consistent with the practice of gratitude and it's writing it down.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Thinking about it is great, yet writing it, you get that muscle memory, has been shown over time.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: It eventually will rewire your brain because there's neuroplasticity.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: We can rewire our brains, which is super cool.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Super cool, super cool.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: So much we can do with our brains.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: They're not fixed.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can change them.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and if you do that and write it down, then that's going to consistently.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So even on those days you're like, I don't have anything to be grateful for, maybe be grateful for the fact that you can write down what you're grateful for.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe be grateful for the fact that you have a pen and a piece of paper, right?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe be grateful that you had running water today.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes it's it's gratitude doesn't have to be grand things.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe be grateful that you listen to some birds outside today.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: So gratitude is the biggest one because some of the people I work with have a lot of trauma.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: So we have to process it.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yet we also want to embed those strategies to care for themselves, right?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And like you talked about, it's that voice in your head.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what are you telling yourself?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because feelings only last 90 seconds, right?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: You have a feeling, and it's what the how we keep it on repeat is what impacts us.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So, and feelings aren't always true.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can say, right, you can say I did this and I'm a failure.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: No, you might have not felt confident or whatever.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can say I feel like a failure, and then you can counteract it and say, wait a minute, like talk to yourself like third person.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: Wait a minute, I tried hard, I did the best I could, you know.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: Personally, being online like this for me is one of my least comfortable things to do.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yet I think it's important to do.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And then afterwards, I'm like, I did it, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, go me, right?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like, cheerlead yourself.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: So those are things that people out there can do that are easy.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: The gratitude is my biggest one, and I'm a big believer.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Every day, write down three things you're grateful for.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're having another thing, if you're having a really horrible day, go back and write down, read everything you've written.
• 13:49
  Dr C: Yes, absolutely.
• 13:51
  Dr C: Yes.
• 13:52
  Dr C: So, you know, there's there's also a technique where you can every day write what you're grateful for, put it in a jar, and then you know, when you're feeling down, when you feel like you have nothing to be thankful for, definitely look at that.
• 14:04
  Dr C: But also at the end of the year or at the end of a period of a journey of a of an event in your life, you know, going back and and seeing all the things that you were grateful for during that time.
• 14:16
  Dr C: Right.
• 14:17
  Dr C: Like even during tumultuous times, there's breath in your lungs, right?
• 14:20
  Dr C: You're allowed to have a roof over your head, like whatever it is, but there are things, there's always something to be grateful for.
• 14:27
  Dr C: And I think, you know, for a long time I was such I was in such a fixed mindset, such a negative mindset that I remember someone telling me this, you know, 30 years ago.
• 14:37
  Dr C: I remember someone telling me, Well, what are you grateful for?
• 14:40
  Dr C: Like you're you're a very negative person.
• 14:42
  Dr C: What are you grateful for?
• 14:44
  Dr C: And I was like, wow, I had to really think about that.
• 14:47
  Dr C: What am I grateful for?
• 14:48
  Dr C: And the person said to me, You're a very negative person, is that was jolt, that was jarring to me.
• 14:53
  Dr C: Right.
• 14:53
  Dr C: Because I was like, wow, you know, although I instinctively knew that they were right, that I saw through I saw things through a negative lens, it was hard to hear.
• 15:07
  Dr C: And that, although hard to hear, I needed it.
• 15:10
  Dr C: And it was it was the impetus for me to really start thinking, why am I so negative?
• 15:15
  Dr C: Why why why am I always thinking of the worst outcome versus the best outcome?
• 15:21
  Dr C: You know, so thank you for talking about that because I think it gratitude is something that we talk about, but when you actually sit there and manually write it down and and really think about it, I think it does make a big difference in in your life.
• 15:36
  Dr C: It made a big difference in my life to see about to see all the things I do have versus focusing all the things that I don't have.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: And how great, like how brave yet how important that person said that to you, right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like thanks to them for saying what's going on with you.
• 15:54
  Dr C: Yes.
• 15:55
  Dr C: And you need truth tellers in your life.
• 15:57
  Dr C: Oh, yeah.
• 15:58
  Dr C: You need people that you trust that will tell you and hold you accountable for your disposition, right?
• 16:03
  Dr C: For how you're showing up.
• 16:05
  Dr C: And I think that sometimes we can spiral, depending on what's happening in our lives.
• 16:10
  Dr C: And that is where our our village comes in.
• 16:12
  Dr C: That is where our network, right?
• 16:13
  Dr C: Comes in and says, Hey, hey, enough.
• 16:16
  Dr C: It's time to, right?
• 16:17
  Dr C: It's time to refocus, time to reframe.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And to be, I love when people do that because it helps us to and we know the truth is there.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like you knew the truth was there.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: You were like, oh yes.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I've hit those times too.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh yes, for me.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I agree with you that, and it's right, writing it down is so important and reading it is so important.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:43
  Dr C: And so we know that energy is contagious, right?
• 16:46
  Dr C: I talk about this all the time.
• 16:47
  Dr C: If I come into a room and I have negative energy, it everyone in the room will feel it.
• 16:54
  Dr C: It will ripple through the room, right?
• 16:56
  Dr C: If I come in in a positive attitude, that's also going to ripple through the room.
• 17:00
  Dr C: Yes.
• 17:00
  Dr C: So, how do we practically navigate carrying compassion into difficult and toxic environments without internalizing that negativity?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, one thing to remember is everybody has their own agency.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's called the technical word, the fancy word is locus of control.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yet it's very telling, right?
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am only in charge and of control of this, right?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's pretty much that's it.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_00: And other people are coming in with their own experiences, and we don't know what kind of day.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: It does not excuse bad behavior, though.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not saying bad behavior is okay.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: So when we go into those moments, sometimes it's a surprise.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you're in a work environment that's that's very negative and toxic on an ongoing basis.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's really looking at what are your self-care strategies, you know, for yourself going in, what can you do during the day that helps give you a list lift?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a lift in your life, you know, and maybe it is a list of what you can do.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a favorite person you can text here and there?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: Funny jokes, right?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Something that will bring a smile to your face.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Can you get up and take a walk?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: Splash some water on your face.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes running cold water helps calm down our nervous system.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: And what are the things you want to do if you have the energy to maybe take a little sting out of that environment?
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: Leave some post-it notes for people, give them some of your own postcards, right?
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Um do things like that, do your own little bake treat, you know, or something like that, if you want.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: And in those surprise moments, because sometimes we walk into, let's say, a meeting and we think it's gonna go well and it blows up bad.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've been at meetings like that.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's just afterwards kind of not taking all that negativity into yourself.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can go take a break, get a drink of water, go for a walk, get outside, regroup, spend some time processing.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's important.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yet also then let it go.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: I remember years ago, I used to work for the New York State Division for Youth, and I work with kids who were like on probation and things like that.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember one of my advisors said to me, after your sessions, especially those hard ones, write it down.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: We were always taking notes and then let it go.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I found that to be just a powerful tool that sometimes after those moments where I did not have to take notes, I would write it down and sometimes I would rip it up and let it go, which was a way of helping me get that outside of myself.
• 19:49
  Dr C: Yeah, I love that.
• 19:51
  Dr C: You know, I've used the cold water technique, uh splash in the face, right?
• 19:55
  Dr C: And for for the days that you can't splash water in your face, I I have gone into the bathroom and wet a paper towel and just put it like in the back of my neck.
• 20:03
  Dr C: Yes.
• 20:03
  Dr C: And I've noticed, you know, that it does there is uh you feel alleved, right?
• 20:09
  Dr C: And your body kind of jolts back into the present time.
• 20:12
  Dr C: And so it takes me out of the recording of replay replaying whatever happened, whether it was a bad meeting, which happens, right?
• 20:21
  Dr C: A bad interaction, maybe you maybe even there have been times where I've said something and I'm like, oh, I can't believe I said that, right?
• 20:27
  Dr C: And so just all these things that we, you know, being human.
• 20:31
  Dr C: I mean, you being human is messy, right?
• 20:33
  Dr C: Oh, it's sure.
• 20:34
  Dr C: But the cold water really does work for me because it snaps me back into the present time and takes me out of that spiraling.
• 20:42
  Dr C: Also, writing things out helps, or just kind of walking.
• 20:45
  Dr C: So, you know, I've used those techniques and I really appreciate you talking about giving us more techniques to use.
• 20:51
  Dr C: And I know you're a proponent of neuroplasticity.
• 20:54
  Dr C: I I was so excited when I discovered neuroplasticity because I felt like it was a second chance, right?
• 20:59
  Dr C: It was a second chance to get it right, it was a second chance to invest in myself and really think about who am I at my best?
• 21:08
  Dr C: Who am I at my best?
• 21:09
  Dr C: I want to see who I am at my best and really kind of thrive for that.
• 21:13
  Dr C: So, can you break down the science on how consistent daily practice of gratitude actually does rewire the brain for the better?
• 21:22
  Dr C: And what are what are the if you just scientifically, what what is going on in your brain?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I like this quote neurons that fire together, wire together, right?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a thing to remember that all those neurons, we have neuro, neural pathways, right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I equate it to maybe if you want to get pitcher or work out, right?
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Or let's say you you haven't for a long time and you're going to start to work out, you're like, I'm going to start walking.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had some people in my life, they're like, I haven't been walking, whatever, and I want to walk a 3K or a 5K, right?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: And they start out and they continue to do it and do it more, and their endurance gets more, and then it's easier to do more.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: So our brains are these neural pathways.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm going to use you as an example.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: When that person said to you, you're so negative, the work you did changed your brain to put you in a more resilient positive mindset.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it's that inner voices in our head, it's that daily practice of gratitude, yet it's also how we talk to ourselves.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Once again, feelings are not always fact.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's using, I call it the power of third person.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Positive affirmations are great about boosting our mood and helping us feel empowered.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And the more you immerse your brain in all that all the time, the more you do it, the more your brain's going to get rewired.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: So when something happens that makes you feel maybe off-kilter or not yourself, you strengthen your brain that you can recover quicker and say, This is what I learned from it.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I feel like all experiences are learning experience.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am always learning, and I make mistakes all the time.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very good at it.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm skilled.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise.
• 23:23
  unknown: Woo.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: Go me, go you.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: We are the champions.
• 23:32
  Dr C: The champions of mistakes.
• 23:33
  Dr C: That's a beautiful thing, right?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: Failing forward, failing forward.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you can even do it with physical things.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: There's a researcher, he's a doctor, Dr.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: Norman Deutge, and he's really done research into how our brains can rewire.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's just so much science behind it, and it's being consistent.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're let's say you're doing gratitude once a month, it's gonna be in that moment, it's not gonna be effective.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say you're how you're talking to yourself is that critical inner voices that I think most of us have.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: We can put them to rest, we can shrink them down, and we can replace them with our empowered voices, right?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can do this, you're great, you're gonna learn, you're gonna rocket.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: And the more we do anything consistently, once again, neurons that fire together, wire together.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: So those negative critical voices are gonna get less and less and less, and the others are gonna be more part of our brains, which then makes us more resilient, which helps us feel more worthy, and all those things.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: It creates that really strength-based domino of positivity within our brains.
• 24:47
  Dr C: Yeah, yeah.
• 24:48
  Dr C: Wow, this has been amazing.
• 24:51
  Dr C: Uh so you know, it's been an absolute pleasure.
• 24:54
  Dr C: Absolute pleasure to learn from you today.
• 24:56
  Dr C: And for those ready to take that next step and create a world, reshape their own, their own piece of the world and practice some kindness.
• 25:06
  Dr C: Where can we find you and be part of your work and in kindness champions?
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, um, there's a website, kindness champions.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on social media where kindness champions is.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's we're on like on LinkedIn, Facebook and LinkedIn, and Blue Sky, it's under Kindness Champions.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm on LinkedIn.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: So if anybody wants to reach out to me there.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, and and I say for everybody out there who are in also the social media world, you can change the algorithms on your social media sites.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: Mine are really positive based because I just focus on that.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I like seeing all these cool stories of people doing things or giving out helpful mental health tips for us to be healthier, happier humans.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I say for that out there, for anybody out there, those are the ways to follow along.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: And if you like our work, you know, follow along.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_00: If ours doesn't fit you, follow, find other positive sources out there and follow them because there's a lot of good people out there putting out work that's helpful for mental health, that's kindness-based stories.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my spotlight stories are pretty much all nonprofits around the world.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: Follow them.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: They're really cool people doing cool stuff.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: So those are the ways, or like I said, reach out, send us an email, directly, message if anybody ever wants a postcard, some postcards of their own to send out.
• 26:38
  Dr C: Talk a little bit about the postcard project.
• 26:40
  Dr C: We did not focus on that.
• 26:41
  Dr C: Tell us a little bit about the how it started and it how what like what how can people get involved in that?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I was going along one day figuring out how to do more with kindness champions, right?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: How to get more people.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I just came stumbled upon a postcard.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I received one, if it was one of those marketing ones or something.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I just feel in our society, I want everybody to know they matter, right?
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: They have a place and a purpose.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't want it to be, I'm gonna do this for you.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you're like, so what do I have to do for you?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just want it to be a gift, a gift.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I played with different designs.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'll I'll show a picture and just came upon, you know, a way to send it to people.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to use the phone book, which is no longer, which makes me sad, because I would go along and do names in the phone book.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: So now I do people online, like if a new business is opening or I see people like you, Dr.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: C do doing something cool.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_00: I send postcards, I send them to organizations, I send them to libraries, and send some postcard joy.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like when you get a piece of snail mail, and postcards are easy because you don't have to do anything with it, you don't have to open it.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's just that gift that, and I remember one guy wrote to me, he's like, I have my postcard, my refrigerator, because on those bad days, it just reminds me of my value.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, just it's a reminder.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is an example of the postcards.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yeah.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: So if anybody wants them, I think the best way is either direct message me on any of my social media sites.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, social media people will send me a direct message with their name and address, and I'll happily send them some postcards to send out.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's been times I've had some schools reach out and they've had their postcards made in their colors to give out to students and staff.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just a believer that a simple piece of mail, just a little piece of mail you shared your story, can make a big difference.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: Big difference.
• 28:54
  Dr C: Thank you so much for your time.
• 28:56
  Dr C: But more importantly, thank you for your kindness, thank you for your compassion, and thank you for pouring into people that you will probably never see, never meet.
• 29:07
  Dr C: But the impact is truly there.
• 29:10
  Dr C: And I could and I could say firsthand that it I I needed it the day the both of the days that you sent me something, I needed it.
• 29:18
  Dr C: So thank you.
• 29:19
  Dr C: And also, you know, you talk about the ripple effect.
• 29:23
  Dr C: Yeah, I I remember hearing the term maybe about 20 years ago, paying it forward.
• 29:28
  Dr C: Wow.
• 29:29
  Dr C: And when I received your postcard, I was like, Well, what am I gonna do?
• 29:33
  Dr C: Right?
• 29:33
  Dr C: Ooh, ooh, what do I do now?
• 29:36
  Dr C: Ooh, right, because I wanted to pay it forward.
• 29:38
  Dr C: Right.
• 29:39
  Dr C: So definitely made sure that I did that.
• 29:41
  Dr C: And so just thank you.
• 29:42
  Dr C: Thank you for keeping us grounded.
• 29:44
  Dr C: Thank you for keeping us uh in a in a positive mindset, understanding that life is messy and right now we're going through some pretty devastating times, but we could still find joy um in in what we have and what we do, and we could still instill joy in others, which is so important.
• 30:01
  Dr C: I believe that love shapes the world.
• 30:04
  Dr C: Um and I think that um, and I just thank you for for keeping that in the forefront for me, right?
• 30:09
  Dr C: Staying, staying positive even through tumultuous times.
• 30:13
  Dr C: So thank you, Judy.
• 30:14
  Dr C: I really appreciate you, and this has been phenomenal.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: This has been such a joy for me, and yeah, this is how I'm fighting for our world.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: I believe in every person out there, and this is my fight.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yet thank you for your joy and for inviting me to be on.
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_00: It truly has been so much fun.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: You're so much fun to talk with, and I'm so glad that the postcard and the chocolates made a different I love meats and chocolate.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I just think those are those ways for everybody listening to this.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, it doesn't have to be grand.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: You leave a no, you leave a posted no, you do something for somebody else.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_00: We're all connected and trying our best.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_00: So let's just help each other.
• 30:56
  Dr C: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 30:57
  Dr C: A smile goes a long way.
• 30:59
  Dr C: You're smelling the person, you just smile in their direction and keep it moving, and you just never know the impact.
• 31:05
  Dr C: So thank you so much.
• 31:07
  Dr C: Really appreciate you.
• 31:08
  Dr C: I'm I'm sure that people will be reaching out and and learning more about kindness champions and postcards are gonna take over the world, I'm sure.
• 31:16
  Dr C: Woo woo! I would love that.