Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Full Purpose Living 6/7: You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup-- Fill Yours First #SelfCareSaturday

Transcript

Full Purpose Living 6/7: You Can't Pour From an Empty Cup-- Fill Yours First #SelfCareSaturday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Happy Saturday, Happy Saturday, Happy Saturday, Sweet Spotter.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Dr.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Derek Sweet, and you're listening to The Sweet Spot.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: For those of you who don't know me, I'm a board-certified psychiatrist.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: I specialize in sports psychiatry and high performance.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: And more than that, I'm your partner.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your teammate in the game of life.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: And here at The Sweet Spot, we blend science, soul, and success.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: We cook it up so that we can have a delicious meal all week long.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: And this week has been no different than the others.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: We've been dealing with a series here called Full Purpose Living.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, full purpose living.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: We've been tackling purpose and we've seen so much, we've learned so much about purpose.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to start today by saying something to you directly, sweet builder.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I am proud of you.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's right, I'm proud.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't say that lightly, I say it because I know what this week has asked of you, and I know what it takes to actually show up for the week.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you've done it.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to me, you've made it through a week.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Wow! And if you were listening to the sweet spot all week, you did some additional work.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: On Monday, you did something most people never do.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: You went past the surface and you named what you are truly called to.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't give just the safe answer, you gave a real one Monday, the one that costs something that cost you something to do.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's what passion was all about.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about that on Monday and how your passion is a bit of a sacrifice.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your passion is something you're almost willing to suffer for in order to connect to your purpose.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you didn't hear Making Moves Monday and how we tied in passion and purpose, you definitely want to swing by Making Moves Monday and check it out.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: On Tuesday, we looked at ourselves honestly, right?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: We did.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: We named the belief that was quietly running our lives, and that took courage.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: It takes courage, it takes a lot of courage because most people spend life avoiding the truth.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Tuesday and take action Tuesday, we didn't do that, so yeah.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and then Wednesday, when it all Wednesday, if you remember when the pressure came and it did come, guess what?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: You didn't run, you took a breath, you took a breath, you reframed, and you returned.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: That's no small thing.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: You learn how to reframe, yeah, and you learn how to return bit by bit, and that made you a winner.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Thursday, trust yourself.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thursday, you chose trust in the middle of uncertainty.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: We chose trust, we learned how to trust.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You kept going without confirmation, even if you didn't have the proof, if you didn't have all the answers, you kept it moving.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is one of the hardest things for a human being to do.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times we need clarity before we make our move.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: But you, being a sweet builder, you knew exactly how to use your trust.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And if you didn't hear trust yourself Thursday, you definitely want to go back and check it out.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And Friday, oh, finished strong Friday.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Haha.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yesterday, you picked it all up and you said this is mine, and I'm owning it.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: That was about ownership, remember?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: You owned all of it, and you know what?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: That is a decision that changed everything.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you can take your trust and your understanding and your ability to reframe and all of that, and you cook it up, you can own it.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: And boy, when you do that, you are walking in purpose, you are unstoppable when you're like that.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: All week long, we've been tackling these elements of purpose.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: We just don't say the word purpose, we attach meaning to it.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, sweet dreamer, it's self-care Saturday, and I'm gonna ask you to do something even further.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Today, today I'm gonna ask you to receive what you've built.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's something I want you to really hear.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: The work you did this week is not just intellectual, it's not even just inspirational, it landed somewhere real inside of you, it shifted something for us, and that shift needs space to settle, to become permanent, to become a part of who you are before we go any further, and that space is why we have self-care Saturday here on the sweet spot.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and the virtue, the word, the feeling that we're gonna capture today for your purpose-driven life is one that we often don't say out loud enough, and it describes who you are perfectly.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's strength, strength, strength.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not talking about the strength just to push harder or to do more, I'm talking about the strength it takes to stop, to slow down, to receive, so that you can protect everything you've built this week here on the sweet spot by giving your system what it needs to carry forward here on self-care Saturday.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because the people who sustain full purpose living, which is what we've been talking about all week, how do I live with full purpose?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Those of us who are able to sustain full purpose living over the long term, we've got to rest.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: The ones who don't rest, those of us who are not resting, we're just not gonna be able to do it over the long term.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: We might shine bright for a minute, but we feel it.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: We feel it in our bones.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: You ever wake up in the morning and you're kind of dragging, you know you're on your last bit of oxygen, your last bit of uh ATP, the body's uh power, power fuel, your mitochondria, those you know, remember the powerhouse of the cell from biology, the mitochondria in the body making making giving us power, giving us ATP, adenosin triphosphate.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Remember that?
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Your little biology?
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that runs out, and you know why it runs up because we're not doing self-care.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And to have strength and power for your mitochondria in your body to work, for you to have the ATP, that's the gas of the human being, in a way.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Your your power, you have to have rest and self-care.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: The instrument, your body, your mind, your spirit, the fire that burns within you has to be tended, not just stoked, but tended to.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the ancient wisdom knew all about it.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, on the sweet spot, we're about what?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: Science, soul, and success.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's us, the three S's.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: And the ancient wisdom always corroborates what we're sharing here on the sweet spot.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: If we're telling you that you gotta rest, and we're telling you that your strength is tied into your purpose, and rest and self-care is a part of it, you better believe that the psalmist in Psalm 23 knew something about this.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because what he said and shared with us was like a text message from a few thousand years ago that still makes sense today.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: The line that I wanted to share with you this self-care Saturday is he makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul, he makes me lie down.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: He doesn't invite me to lie down or to suggest perhaps maybe you should lie down.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: He makes me lie down.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because, sweet spotter, sometimes the soul needs to be led gently, firmly, away from doing and doing and doing and doing and giving and giving and giving and pushing and pushing and striving into receiving.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: And the God who designed you for purpose also designed you for rest.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: May I repeat that?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Can I repeat that to you?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because sometimes we need to hear something more than once.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: By the way, I'm holding a mirror up to myself as I say it.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And the God who designed you for purpose also designed you for rest.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: The two are not in conflict, they're in rhythm, they're in a rhythm, and they should be in a rhythm.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Look, sweet builder, your soul has been working hard this week, really hard.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: You've done the work.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes in the morning, you text me, and I text you back, and it's like 7 a.m.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: or 8 a.m.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: or who knows.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You've worked.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's late at night.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're connecting.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: We have worked.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we named what passion was.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: We faced patterns, we looked at practicing how to return.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about trust, we talked about ownership, passion, patterns, returning, trusting, ownership, and we did all of it beautifully because we discussed purpose in a much more intense and broader way.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: But now, on self-care Saturday, yeah, it's about being led beside the quiet waters.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: This ancient wisdom ain't nothing to play with beside the quiet waters.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: In the green pastures laying down for a second.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Restoring your soul.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Who doesn't want to be lying down in the green pastures or beside just quiet waters or getting their soul restored this morning?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Of course we do.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Amen to that.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it's all about.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because to have strength, you have to pour into yourself.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: That's why athletes have recovery, and they make recovery such a huge part of whatever they do.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because as we always say here on the sweet spot, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you gotta make sure you're filling that cup back up.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that you're not running ragged, that you're not just driving yourself nuts and crazy because you're just doing and doing because you've you're so afraid that everything is gonna get done.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's always somebody that can replace us.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Trust me, I was told that several times.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, Dr.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sweet, you're amazing.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: But look, something happened to you tomorrow, we'll find two people to figure it out.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: We'll find somebody will be there.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you know when I was told that it sounded a little harsh, but it's kind of true.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: So we've gotta make sure we're not spreading ourselves too thin.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because then our cup is gonna be empty, and then there'll be no one there to drive the bus.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Seneca, one of the stoics that we've talked about here on Sweet Spot quite a bit, the stoic philosopher from thousands of years ago, watched people around him spend their entire lives in motion.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: They were not able to stop, they never stopped.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: He watched people spend their entire lives in motion, just never stopping, never arriving, never fully present to anything.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: And this is what he wrote that I think still applies to us a thousand or two years later.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: He said to be everywhere is to be nowhere.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: To be everywhere is to be nowhere.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Think about where you are right now.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Are you here with me or is your mind somewhere else?
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Is it in 15,000 different places?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: How many places are you simultaneously?
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: How many conversations from this week are still running in the background of your mind?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: How many tensions are you still carrying that you don't actually need to carry today?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: You've done the work, sweet spotter.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: You've earned a right to be in one place and to be right here, right now.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: If you've been listening to the sweet spot, you know we love that phrase right here, right now.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's right.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: To be everywhere is to be nowhere.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I want you in this moment with this breath in this podcast, in this restorative second.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because full purpose living, the thing we're talking about this week, requires your full presence, and you cannot be fully present tomorrow if you're scattered across everything today.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you're on your cell phone and somebody's talking to you and you're down on your cell phone and you're going, mm-hmm, uh-huh.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I speak to myself.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: When I tell you these things, I'm talking to myself, and I'm sure if Darcell, my wife, is listening, she's gonna be like, Yeah, exactly.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: You need to really uh listen to yourself, right?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: So if you if somebody's talking to you, right, and you are in your cell phone and you're kind of doing that kind of thing where you're like, yes, mm-hmm, and you may even give them a sentence and make them think you're actually paying attention to them, but you're really on your cell phone, maybe on TikTok or Instagram or I don't know, Facebook, whatever it is that you're doing, maybe you're responding to text messages, you're not present, you're really not.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and it really kind of messes up the vibe in the conversation, and the other person is aware of it.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: I speak to myself.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, full purpose living, sweet spotter, requires your full presence, and you cannot be fully present when you're scattered across everything.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: So the strong move today on self-care Saturday, the purposeful move is to come home to yourself right now.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know why?
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because the Buddhist monk TikNot uh, yes, Tiknat Han, yeah, he wrote that the present moment, and he said this, uh he's he's good at this, he he's really into this present moment.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: He said the present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to every other moment.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm paraphrasing him.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: The present moment is the only moment available to you, and it is the door to every other moment you have.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: The door to all moments.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let that land.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: You see, everything you're building, the passion that we talked about on Monday, the self-knowledge and understanding from Tuesday, the resilience we talked about, the ability to return from things on Wednesday, the trust from Thursday, and the ownership from Friday, all of it lives in present moments that you and I choose to inhabit fully.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: We've got to be right here, right now.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody talking to you, take a second, listen to them, be in the moment.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: You go outside, look up at the sun, be aware you're driving, pay attention to the road.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Don't be on your cell phone and doing and doing the driving, right?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: That kind of thing.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Be in the moment.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: When you're an athlete and you're a performer, the best performers, they are in the moment.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: The crowd is going, the opponents in front of them, whatever's happening, they're right there right now.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: The best are fully present.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: And right now, the present moment is asking you on self-care Saturday to do one thing to really make sure that your purpose is going to be bright and sunny and powerful, and that is to rest, to be here, right here, right now, to be completely here in this one day that the door to everything is available to you if you stand in the moment.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: In this one day, that is the door to everything.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sunday is about to open for you.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: So you've been so faithful this week.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's been amazing.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love your comments, I love your feedback.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let's honor the faithfulness today by giving yourself the gift of being fully present to restorating or to restoring, I should say, your system.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because your system is asking to be restored, it wants to be restored, it really does.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: Kendrick Lamar put it this way.