Latest / The Pressing Play Podcast / Ep1 Pressing Play on Who told women to pause in midlife?
Transcript
- Jo Fiddy: Hello, the record button is on. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Pressing Play podcast. This is the first episode and I'm so thrilled you are here. My name is Jo Fiddy. I am a motivational speaker, menopause mentor, and I'm here to help you press play on your life. ⁓ you're feeling stuck in the pause of the menopause ⁓ midlife and you're ready. feel excited again to press play on your purpose, your energy and your passion, then this show is for you. It's time, my loves, it is time that we woke up from the patriarchal slumber and start pressing play on our life because we are not over the hill. Being over 40 does not mean the end. It is not the last dance. It is a brand new dance floor. I am so excited to dance with you. On this show, I will be sharing insights, strategies, and powerful conversations with special, incredible guests who bring their press play energy and wisdom because we are moving forward together on this journey. So let's get started and tuck in. play is about empowering you to move from being stuck in the pause of the menopause and start pressing play on your glorious life and start menoplaying. Yes, Queen ager start menoplaying. Now, might sitting here right now, swimming through a sea of perimenopausal symptoms and thinking, do you know what, Jo? I don't wanna press play. I'm just, too tired. Now, pressing play is different for everybody. So pressing play for you might be on nourishment, on rest, on boundaries, how you can support yourself during this time. Resting is different from pausing. When we pause, ⁓ about a show that you watch on telly, you when you pause it, ⁓ happens. ⁓ just stuck. not moving forwards, not moving backwards, just stuck. But when you press play, you are choosing yourself, you are saying yes to you. if yes to you is resting and boundaries, then yes, yes, yes. Now you also might be sitting here going, ⁓ got a little dream tucked up my sleeve that I would love to do. But ⁓ feel like maybe I'm too old. My time is gone. ⁓ can't do it. My invitation to you is to tuck that dream out and start looking at it. And we will be exploring throughout this show and the episodes to come why we feel like as women as a collective, we are pausing when we hit the pause and post years and how to press play on your life. So that leads me in beautifully to ask the question, when did you learn to pause? I see this a lot. I've been coaching women for nine years through perimenopause, menopause and big pivotal moments. And I've noticed something happens when we enter our 40s. That slow resignation, that life doesn't get much better than this. The best days are behind me. It's all downhill from here. And what happens is when that happens, we start slowly walking backwards through life. Maybe looking at the life we had, the body we had. Maybe there's a wardrobe full of clothes from when you were in your twenties or thirties. And when that happens, It can feel like you're pausing and feeling stuck, not knowing how to move forwards, not knowing what to do. And slowly we start walking backwards through life, only looking at the past. And when that happens, my love, when that happens, we miss all the opportunities in front of us, all the incredible moments in front of us. What is it costing you to pause? And this is my big mission, because I want you to press play, I don't want you ⁓ look back in 10 years time and think. I should have gone for it. I should have done it. So let's go a little bit deeper, shall we? As we get to know each other, let's just snuggle in a bit more. the big question when did you learn to pause? ⁓ Who taught you that? Because it wasn't conscious. It wasn't a conscious decision. You think, you know what, I'm done. Yep, in my 40s now, in my 50s, I am just gonna exit stage left. I am done. Move aside, bring in someone 20 years younger. That wouldn't have been a ⁓ conscious decision. It's subconscious. And in order to understand and discover why we are living in this pausal state, Let's look at the language that's used to describe a woman as she ages. And we're gonna start, let's start at that pivotal moment. Perimenopause. So my loves, as we're getting to know each other, I might as well share right now from the get-go that I have been through the menopausal journey, not once, but twice. Yes, twice. Over 10 years ago from my early 30s, I started to feel like my body was changing. And what happened was I managed to break my body through extreme stress and go into a menopausal state. But at the time, we didn't know it was temporary. It was very much a permanent situation. And this lasted several years of my life. And I came out of it. And this time, I'm going through perimenopause again, but with tools, with hindsight, to support myself and you to go through it in a version that supports you and doesn't. I definitely did not go through menopause very well the first time around. But that's for a different episode. So let's talk about the language that's being used for menopause. Menopause was the word menopause was created over 200 years ago a male physician who used two Greek words that meant MEN and pause, monthly pause. And that is the language that has been used for 200 years now. Now let's just scroll back think about it. The language is so important. Language shapes our perception, it shapes identity and it shapes our belief. So if you are going into what has been called your pause years, how are you gonna feel? or knowing that the next step is living a post version of yourself in post menopause. And how does that make you feel? Just start thinking about it. ⁓ pause post. Is it any wonder that maybe you feel like it's time to slow down? How would it feel if you knew, and modern science is catching up, that you are actually entering your power years? That's where you're pivoting into. modern science is showing us that. We are not living a pause or post of ourselves. And when you think about aging, What words are used to describe a woman in midlife onwards? Sontag back in 1972 talked about the age is biased, about how men as they age are powerful. Wise, they're a force. Wow, yes. And women? Frail, vulnerable, and stubborn. just to start noticing, the language being used, talk about women and why we might be living in this pause of life. Okay. So we've talked about the pause. Let's talk about the play. How could you start pressing play on your life? Number one. Notice where you are pausing. Where are you pausing in life? Is it on your dreams? On love? Your creativity? Are your limits? Where are you pausing? Step two. What is playing on your belief soundtrack? And you'll hear me say this a lot, your belief soundtrack. These are that you have over the years. Usually starts in childhood. when you were younger you used to record the top 40 on cassette? You had to quickly not get the adverts or the DJ speaking. Do you remember? So imagine that as your child, you are downloading on a recorder all those beliefs from your caregivers, maybe your mom and dad, the world around you. real bangers in there that helped you become person that you are to this day. But if you feel like you can't find your rhythm in midlife, it may be that there is a belief playing out of tune. And that needs a little bit of editing to support your belief soundtrack. So step two, go through your belief soundtrack. Is it true? Notice how you feel about being a woman in midlife and beyond. Do you feel excited? Are you ready? Or do you feel like you are going into those pausal years? You're about to live a post version of your life. And if you do go into your belief soundtrack? Where did you learn ⁓ Is this ⁓ yours ⁓ to even carry this And this where love working with women. ⁓ I love working on these beliefs ⁓ and making that you are just editing your removing those limiting beliefs in order to support you and dance into this next chapter. Number three, press play. Do it. Do it, do it, do it. What can you press play on today, this week? What can you press play on? What is something that you really, really, really want to do? What can you do? might be, for instance, you want to be wearing more bright colors. It could be that you want to sign up for that class. It might be putting in those boundaries and getting that restorative rest that you have been craving for years. It might be starting that health program that you know is gonna support you as you go into this next chapter. What is it? Make a decision, write it down, put it in the diary so you know you've got to do it. Tell someone. That's always a great way for accountability. What are you pressing play on this week? And I would love to know as well. Send me an email, send me a DM. Let me know what you're pressing play on. The best days are not behind you. The best days are in front of you. It is your time. And you, my love, you deserve to feel alive while living it. So my love, before I go, a reminder for many, women. They have 40 years of adventure, of living, of wildly dreaming in front of them. Just because a belief has been playing in the background doesn't mean it's your time to pause, your time to sit it out. We have been living under this patriarchal slumber that told us that we had to pause and exit stage Left. And that just isn't true. It isn't true. And you deserve to feel alive. while living it. This is not the beginning of the end. This is your power pivot. Are you ready? Let's go. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I would absolutely love it if you could follow, click all the buttons on where you download your podcasts from, and also let me know what you thought of the first episode. This is me pressing play on a big dream of mine that I've had about having my own podcast and spreading the message that as women, we are entering our power years and it is time that we started pressing play. Thank you so much for being here and I will speak to you next time. Bye.