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The Power of Sabbath Rest: Finding Peace and Renewal in Midlife · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hey friends, and welcome back to another episode of Still Well Podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Brooke Stillwell, and thank you again for joining me for another conversation about all things midlife and what happens after the kids grow up and leave home or start to leave home.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: And how do we live our best lives now?
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: What's in store for us next?
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And as you know, I typically take one week out of the month.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this is our still well strong segment.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: This is our focusing on our physical health because we know by now that if we don't have our physical health, we can't show up as well for the people that we love.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we might not even be our best selves and have the energy and the focus and the wherewithal we want to show up well for God and to serve Him.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so just like we need to have our spiritual health and our faith.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I do believe that that is the most important thing in this phase of life, in any phase of life, really, and just like we need emotional balance, we also need our physical health.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so today's conversation is going to be geared towards that.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: But we are not going to be talking about a certain food to eat or a supplement or better sleep or weight training or building physical strength or balance.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: All of those things are important.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: But today I want to shift gears a little bit and actually talk to you about having a rest, which may seem like a little bit of an oxymoron because you may be going, well, how does rest have anything to do with physical health and strength?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I am here to tell you, and so is my trainer Josh, who I have a love-hate relationship with because he's very hard and pushes me way too much in the gym.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I knew, and I've I know that rest is one of the most important things that we can do for our bodies.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: But he is on me all the time about how important recovery is and how recovery actually builds your muscle and your strength just as much as the workout itself.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so rest is very important.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I want to take this conversation on rest just a step even further and talk about taking a Sabbath.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, a Sabbath.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you, gosh, I wish I had a room full of girls that I was talking with so I could see who here, who, who listening actually takes a Sabbath.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I can promise you that I was definitely not doing this just a year ago.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe not even, no, it's been longer than six months now.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, about a year to nine months ago, I just, it didn't even, the thought didn't even occur to me.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not sure why.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I read the Bible and I know that we know God created in the book of Genesis the world in six days, and on the seventh day he rested.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: So he was an example of really hard work and then resting for an entire day.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's actually even in the Ten Commandments to rest, and Moses talks about it, and Jesus even mentions that he is the Lord of the Sabbath.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And so there's plenty of times in the Bible where a Sabbath is referred to.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: And yet, for some reason, as much as I have read the Bible and been in church and prayed and all the things, it just didn't really occur to me to put that into practice.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until I read this book.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and maybe I've stumbled on other things before that too, but for sure, this was an eye-opener.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: This book, John Mark Comer's The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Boy, did that change me.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna just share some excerpts from that book, but it gave me pause to really reevaluate my life and look at how I was stewarding my time.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because remember, we are a steward of a lot of different gifts that God has given us.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: We are stewards of our bodies.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: We are stewards of our children, we're stewards to our lives and the resources that we have.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are stewards, let's talk about resources because I think we think about being a steward of resources as our money, the things that we have, maybe our clothing, our house, how we can sh be hospitable and share with others.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: But do we ever think about one of our resources being our time?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: And how are we using that?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And how are we being a good steward of it?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so just as there are equal parts, like use your time wisely to get your work done and to show up for others and to love and serve others well and to spend time with God, there's also something to be said with stewarding your time well and your busy time well so that you have time for a Sabbath and a rest.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, I can promise you that this concept and putting this concept into practice has been a game changer for me.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just a real game changer.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So let's go back like 10 years, because when I was turning 40, I was convinced that my 40s were gonna be like the best years of my life.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I remember coming off of my 40th birthday party, which we did.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was um a destination celebration.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: It was a ball.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I've probably talked about it before.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we did it maybe like a month before my birthday just because of time constraints and schedules.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: But I remember coming back and talking to my friend and saying, I don't feel like one bit bad about turning 40 or feeling old.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, 50-year-old me now is like, you weren't old at 40.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, I don't feel a bit bad about it.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm excited about it.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: I think this is gonna be my next best chapter.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna have time to focus on my health.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling great.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Kids are getting older.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: Ken and I all have fun.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: And in that span, like just within a couple of months and then the years immediately following, I was like a small disaster, if not a big one.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And just all the things happened.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't need to get into all of it, at least in long form.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I lost two very close people in my life.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: There was a lot of stress.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: We were taking care of my husband's grandmother.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: We were her primary caregivers.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: I was opening a new business.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then like hormones too.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It just was like menopause, everything.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, it was menopause.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: I entered menopause early.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's a story for another day.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, everything hit the fan.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like like where I am now today at 50 and some change, looking back, I realized how exhausted you guys, just wiped out I was.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I honestly can promise you that now, today, sitting here, I have way more energy than I did not even a year ago or two years ago, but I'm telling you, even 10 years ago.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And there's been a lot of things that I have changed to make that happen.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: One of those things, too, I'm sure, is coming through menopause and getting on the other side of it, but I actively working on, you know, how I eat, how I manage my stress, how I move my body.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was doing a lot of those things before, although I would say that I probably was not, even though I thought that I was eating super healthy, and I was to some extent, it wasn't right for my body.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's a story for another day as well.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: I should probably start making notes about other things that I want to talk to you guys about.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: But the big one for me has been just stress management and how I've changed that and how I'm addressing it differently in this phase of my life.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I mean, sleep, obviously, we talked about that a couple weeks ago.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have not listened to that episode, please go back and watch it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: I think that you'll find it beneficial.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: But taking a Sabbath, taking a date, a full day to just chill out has changed me, like changed me.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I think because of it, I sleep better.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: I head in off of the weekend into the week Monday, feeling better and feeling recharged.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I feel more centered, I feel more balanced.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: On a day during the week where I've just like overextended myself or it's been a really busy day, or I didn't sleep great, or whatever that might look like, I've been worrying.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I know in my mind like it's gonna be okay because I have a day of rest coming.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's just been such a good, good thing for me.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And is something I never allowed myself in the past.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of it because I felt like I had this part of me that was like, oh my gosh, Brooke, if you're not doing something, if you're not working on the to-do list, if you're not making things better around the house, if you're not cleaning up, if you are not being productive with something, checking your emails, doing a little bit of work every day of the week, then you what are you doing?
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's not productive.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I would actually almost get to the end of the day and feel kind of bad about myself and even just like, and I never, I think part of it is that I just didn't, I wasn't comfortable enough in my own skin and in my faith and my relationship with the Lord, just a lot of unsettledness to where like I I what I couldn't just be.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't just be like slow and quiet and restful, I think, because I didn't want to face like whatever junk I had going on inside of me.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that sounds really silly, but I do believe that was part of the issue.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: And the first time, first few times I decided to take a Sabbath day and just not really do much of anything.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was almost like unwinding I don't want to say an addiction because I I'm not like I'm not an addict and I don't want to downplay that, but it was almost like, yeah, unwinding.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I had parts of the day where I was like, oh my gosh, what am I like, what am I doing?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just sitting here.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not like I should go do something in the kitchen or why don't I?
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was like I wanted to pick up my phone.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted it, it just it was a lot of unraveling.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: But the more that I started to practice a Sabbath, the easier it became and the more cup I would be filled on the other side of it.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So let's talk about what Sabbath actually is.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you a definition for Sabbath, and this is coming from this book by John Mark Homer, The Um Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Sabbath comes from the Hebrew word Shabbat, and the word means to stop.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And he says the Sabbath is simply a day to stop, stop working, stop wanting, stop worrying, just stop.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: And man, to have a whole day to do that, and I can't say that I just can take a whole day and just like not worry at all because I'm a mom and it's kind of like my job, right?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: But no, in all seriousness, but to stop all those things.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so, what does a Sabbath look like for me?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: You may be wondering that too.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: I usually take a Sabbath on Sunday just because it works in our schedule.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Saturdays, I'll find like during particular times of the year, the boys might still have lacrosse games or we have other things going on.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And Sundays just happen to be the day that we have church, and then typically it's pretty unscheduled.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a chance for us to just chill out and relax.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so a typical day for me on a Sunday now looks like church in the morning.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: And normally before church, I've done my quiet time with the Lord and my Bible readings and things like that, a little bit of stretching.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then we have church, and then the rest of the day, I really make a point of I don't do any laundry, I don't do any cleaning up.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: I might load up the dishwasher, I don't leave a lot of like dishes sitting around, but I really don't do much.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't pick up.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what I've come to find is like a lot of what I'll do now is if I know, like when I know Sunday's coming, because obviously it comes every week, by Saturday, Saturday night, I'm really trying to like pick up the house, get cleaned up, get situated, make sure all my laundry is cut up, everything is put away, anything that I needed to do for my work or for my calendar, whatever that looks like, I've kind of got everything in a row by Saturday night so that I can go into Sunday and not have loose ends that I need to think about or worry about.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I can rest on Sunday and head into Monday, but still be relatively caught up.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And it really has become a day for me to just slow down.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted to bring this up now for two reasons.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, we're gonna be heading into the holidays real, real soon.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're just what, three or four weeks away from Thanksgiving?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then once Thanksgiving hits, like we just got over Halloween, now Thanksgiving, and then we're gonna be hitting Christmas and everything else like full steam ahead.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think this is a really good time to talk about taking a Sabbath because when you take those time periods to just relax and chill out, then those busy seasons and those stressful seasons, whether it's good stress or bad stress, are easier to manage and to maintain and also to be present, right?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, we want to be really present during those times.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're rested, it's easier to be present.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: But number two, I'm just coming off today's Monday.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm just coming off of a Sunday where literally I don't know what I had I have been feeling so good, really, really great, sleeping really well.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I went into Sunday.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: I slept great Saturday, but I went into Sunday yesterday.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Church, I walked outside for a little bit with the dogs.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was sat in the grass and was reading a book, and then I was wiped out.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I came inside around, I don't know what it was by then.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: I had already had like breakfast and actually might have had lunch, two, doesn't matter.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going off on a tangent.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: But I'd come back inside, like any good person does on a Sunday and laid down on the couch to watch the Pittsburgh Steelers with my son and husband.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I just was like planning to just like chill out, hang out with them, watch some football, be present, unwind.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I curled right up and fell asleep.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not a nap taker.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Historically, if I fall asleep during the day, I wake up and I am so grouchy and that much worse.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm one of those people.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: I have a friend who could fall asleep at on a dime like anywhere for five minutes, 10 minutes, and wake up feeling like a brand new person.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: That is not me.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, but I just crashed.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: I crashed for a solid, I don't know, 45 minutes, maybe even an hour, and woke up on the other end of it feeling like pretty good and very relaxed.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: And listen, what a day.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I really moved off the couch much after that.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: We finished the Stealer game.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a really sweet show that I love on Netflix.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's just family friendly and just all the good feels and good things and treating people.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: I just love it.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Heartland.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's amazing.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: You might think it's cheesy, but I just watched a couple episodes of that and relaxed and caught my breath.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: I did a little bit of reading.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: I usually during the day on a Sabbath will read like a faith-based book, or it's the book that I'm reading right now, is like the art of self-brain surgery.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's something like that.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can get you the title if you want it.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's by a neurosurgeon named Dr.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: Warren.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: But just something like that that's going to fill my cup.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I just really relaxed.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, I cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, made sure that I put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher, but I didn't do much of anything else the whole entire day until nine o'clock at night.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: I just relaxed.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: I was with my family, I was with myself, I spent some time with the Lord.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: I went to church.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I spent a little bit of time outside with the sun in my face, reading and just grounding, sitting in the grass, a gentle walk, making sure I get my steps in because I'm like crazy about that.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: But it's just a day for me to decompress.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: And that's very typical of what a Sunday looks like for me.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I try not to overschedule it.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: We don't typically eat out.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: I usually cook something in, but it's like simple things.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: I don't go through a lot of trouble.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm definitely off of social media completely.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you happen to follow me on the Stillwell Mom, you'll know that you don't see anything in my stories or any new posts or any comments.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: I just completely unplug from my phone.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, for a while I was like even not answering texts, but that I just don't like some of for me, just to catch up with somebody, a friend, one of my kids, one of my family members, it feels nice to do that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's part of a Sabbath is having just connections and being connected to people.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I still be on the phone and still texting.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't, I don't get on social media at all.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I do not do any overconsumption.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So after reading this book, and he talks also about simplicity, which I that's a struggle.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: I that's a story for another day.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's simplifying my life and not spending as one of my week links.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: But when he talks about overconsumption, I was like, okay, the hours that I can waste being online and either just window shopping online or just shopping in general, getting on Amazon or one of my favorite stores.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't do that on Sundays.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't get on social media and I don't do any shopping.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: I just I let it be.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it feels really good.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: It it it's so, it's just so healing and I think empowering too, A, to know those things don't have a hold on you, but B to just give your mind a break from all of it.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's such a necessary and needed thing.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think, especially in today's world where we're just go, go, go, go, go, and everything is so fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, that we don't take a moment or time to just catch our breath.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think that's really important.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I wish I would have started doing this when my kids were younger, just so they could see what that would look like.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I was not that person.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was the person that come Sunday, if there was any downtime or extra time beyond the kids and all their sports, which by the way, all of it always was on Sundays.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: But when we did have downtime, it was like, okay, uh, can we need to move this piece of furniture or I need to clean out this closet or I need, and I can remember him being like, Don't you ever just want to take a break and rest?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And him being exhausted because he'd worked hard all week.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: So I I wish I had done that more.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's plenty of things that you can do on if you're doing the Sabbath on Sunday, not Saturday, Saturday to catch up, or vice versa, that it's good to take a break.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's good to disconnect completely from work and from all the things.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: It just it centers me and it and and it will center you.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it really is like the more that I think about it, the more I read about it, the more I spend time in the Bible.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is a gift from God.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's such a gift that the God we serve tells us to rest, like commands us to rest and wants us to rest and be with him.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, think about that.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Think about the fact that we don't have a God that's like, you need to be working as hard as you can for me, seven days a week, nonstop.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can rest later.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's not what he says.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: That idea that I'll rest when I get to heaven, I think is no offense, but to some extent, BS, because yes, we can rest when we get to heaven and we should be working for the kingdom and doing our part now to love others and to serve God, but we are only as good to others as we are to ourselves, and we need to rest.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: We are not built to just go, go, go, go, go and burn, burn, burn, burn, burn all the time.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what that leads to is burnout.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Burnout.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: How many of us feel burnout?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know I have in the past.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just, you know, we are made to rest.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: We're made to stop and to be restored.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Our nervous systems need it, our minds need it, our physical bodies need it, and God commands it.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: He commands it.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the Ten Commandments.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And ironically, which I learned from this book, and it's just so interesting to contemplate and think about Sabbath and taking a Sabbath is the only spiritual practice that is a Ten Commandment.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Going to church is not a Ten Commandment, uh, praise and worship is not a Ten Commandment, prayer isn't even a Ten Commandment, neither is reading the Bible.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not saying that none of those things are important.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just saying they're not a Ten Commandment, but Sabbath is.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so, from that perspective, we hold obviously reading the Bible and going to church and praying in high regard.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: And they are all such important things, but are we doing those in neglecting the Sabbath?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a very important thing too.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: I talk a lot at the Stillwell Mom about being still and taking time for quiet and taking time for rest.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: And imagining having a day where you do that.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: How wonderful.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like it just has, it's it, it, it will change you.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I think it just renews so many things.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it just, again, when you head into the week coming off of a Sabbath, I just, I mean, I don't want to sound like overdramatic, but really feel like a new person.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a really great thing.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: One of the Bible verses that I love, and I think I might have shared with you that I do a goals, like sort of a mind map at the start of each year, and I check in on it in each quarter, and then I start to, I'm actually starting to work on a new one now in preparation for actually these last 90 days to finish up things that I want to get done this year and then to prepare for the next year.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: But on that map, right in the center of it, is a place for me to put my word of the year and then also scripture for the year, like theme scripture.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: So a theme word and theme scripture in this year.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I it must have come from this book, except I feel like I read this book after 2025.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know, but whatever the case, this is the scripture.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: And it's back here.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Give me a second till I find it.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: We urge you, brothers and sisters, to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: And that is Paul in 1 Thessalonians 4, verse 10 through 11.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_00: Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think many of us are doing that now.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost impossible to live a quiet life with all the noise and the chatter that goes on.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: But when we can take a day to tap out of all of those things and get quiet, man, how nice that is.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if I've already shared with you, but my word for the year was abide.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so that looks like for me every morning, I've been abiding in Jesus.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I've been practicing abiding in him just moment by moment through the day, and then abiding during a Sabbath.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's just It's just a wonderful thing.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's a real gift that you can give yourself.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, this could also look like it doesn't necessarily need to be you just, you know, laying on the couch watching a watching a Netflix show.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I'm sure that there are many people who are more well versed in a Sabbath than I am that would say stay off TV completely and don't watch a show.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I think it's it's really about spending time with Jesus, slowing down, tapping into just the quiet and the stillness, but also relaxing and just doing things for the sake of being joyful, for the sake of celebrating the life that God has given you, for the sake of drawing close to God.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe that's going for a hike.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: My husband and I just did that two weeks ago, three weeks ago in New Hampshire on a Sunday afternoon after church.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: It was amazing.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe that looks like dancing a little or playing some really great music that you love.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Again, watching a show that's, you know, uplifting, that just is feel good, that makes you feel good, reading your favorite book with a hot cup of tea, spending time with your dog, going for a walk with your dog, spending time outside in nature, watching a little bit of football with your family, whatever that looks like, but just taking a break, breaking bread together, having a nice meal together, connecting with a friend that you haven't talked to in a while, taking a nap, take a nap on the couch.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_00: All of these things, probably seemingly simple things, they can have such a powerful impact.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'll spend time sometimes writing through my gratitudes or like spiritual lessons or things that I've learned through the week, things that I fell short on that I need to practice.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_00: Those are also great ways to spend a Sabbath.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's it really is remarkable what it will do for you.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's just so important.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Again, I'm talking in circles probably, but to take time in the busy world that we live in.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Again, you know, God rested on the seventh day.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: We should too.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: The Sabbath, you could say, um, and this came from this book too: the Sabbath is how we fill our souls back up with life.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_00: To me, that is just a really beautiful thing.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_00: The Sabbath is how we fill our souls back up with life.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't do that, we don't fill our souls back up.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: We don't fill an empty cup by pushing harder or running faster or, you know, the sweating, the nonstop, the checking off all the to-do lists, the doing all the things.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: We do that by unwinding.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: We fill our souls up by unwinding, by being present with each other, by being quiet with yourself and being quiet with God and just taking time to catch a breath.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and what what would what would our lives look like if we all practice that?
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: What would life look like if we all practice like slowing down for one day a week?
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even imagine.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, it used to be that way.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: It used to be that way where everything stopped, where, you know, things weren't open.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's still many places that I know I've been to states, I think it's Delaware, where liquor stores and other places are closed on Sundays.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: Chick-fil-A is another good example.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: They close on Sundays.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: What would that look like?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: And there was a time not so long ago, and now I sound like an old lady, but there was a time where things were really quiet and Sundays were left for family.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: And geez, if we could get back to that a little bit, what a difference I think that would make in our lives.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_00: Just as important as it is to be productive and to push yourself and to set your goals and to have the list of things that you want to do in the day and to be a good steward of your schedule and your time, it's every bit as important, if not more so, to schedule in times of rest.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you rest more, again, you can do those things more easily.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: And our bodies, especially as we get older, we need to have times of rest so that we don't wear out.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's so important.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I find that if I can take a full day like that, then the rest of my week, again, not just heading into Monday, Monday, but day to day, I have more energy for the day.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: My my my vibration feels different as I go through the day, my energy level, my mood, my attitude.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's like if I know that I'm gonna have a hard day, or if I've just been through a hard day, it's easier for me to take because I know that towards the end of the week, I'm gonna get a day to rest.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's really nice.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I'll tell you something else.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: I used to not be the person that could let anything go in my house.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like I just had to keep it cleaned up.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't like a mess.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I I felt better, like, and I still do to some extent.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: I I will probably talk about this in another episode of how your physical space relates to your mental space and how you're feeling like clutter everywhere leads to clutter in your mind.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I think there's something to be said for letting that go a little bit and being easier on yourself and knowing that if you take a day to just let things be, it's gonna be okay.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, later that night, when you pick things back up or the next day, you know what happens to that mess or whatever it is, doesn't have to be a mess.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: It could just be some clothes or whatever that looks like.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's still there, it's not going anywhere, and it's okay to give yourself a break and give yourself a day off.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, I don't know.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you probably need to hear that, some of you probably don't and already know how to do that.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, I just have never been able to just stop.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that has probably some of what's led me to anxiety and overthinking and overanalyzing and fear because I just don't allow myself a break or time to slow down and stop.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we can talk about all these things about calming the nervous system and breath work and stretching and getting outside in nature and all those things are so important.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the simple and most basic things that you can do to calm your nervous system is to take a day of rest.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when even science catches up with these things and tell us what's important for our health and our body, to see it in the Bible and to see it as a command from God, our creator, is so cool, at least to me.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just, I just think it's a really cool thing to think about God designed us in a certain way and wants certain things from us and gave us the blessing.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think we need to look at it from that perspective that rest, having a day of rest, that's not like like it's a bl that's a blessing.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: It is a blessing to be able to take a day to just rest.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly I think as Americans, we do not do that enough.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would encourage you, whatever your schedule looks like, just to take that day and take some time to do that.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_00: Encourage your kids to do it as well.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's an important thing.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: Although I will tell you that my 23-year-old, when he's at home, has no problem taking a full day of resting around and doing nothing.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess every kid's different.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think 20 somethings have a far most 20 somethings have a far easier time of taking a break and resting, and maybe we could learn a little bit from them.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: I went to just read you one more passage from this book because I think it's pretty powerful too.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: True restfulness, though, is a form of awareness, a way of being in life.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is living ordinary life with a sense of ease, gratitude, appreciation, peace, and prayer.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: We are restful when ordinary life is enough.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is powerful.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if I could get to a place, and I'm actively working on that, getting to a place of ordinary life being enough, because I find myself with this constant spirit of discontent with just even when it's been like a great day, I'm always thinking about what if it had gone this way, or and I probably talked to you guys about this, or I should have done this instead, instead of just being happy with what is and how things are and being so content in those moments and having gratitude for the present moment.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think this is what he's saying here is what if our ordinary life, if we could get to the place where just ordinary life, the day-to-day, the moment where you can, you know, take a rest on your couch and have a little nap and then wake up and enjoy a hot cup of tea with a good book, if that was enough, those simple small pleasures, the moments of peace and and quiet, if we could make those enough for us, especially in this phase of life, what a difference that would make for our joy and and just our peace of mind, even.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I think with the more we practice that, the better we'll feel, right?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_00: Ease, gratitude, appreciation, priest, and prayer.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_00: We are restful when ordinary life is enough.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: And man, what a goal for me to let ordinary life be enough.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's something we all are grappling with in this phase of life.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: It probably is, because we are getting to a place now with the kids grown and the activities with them slowing down and life looking different, and maybe even sometimes a little slower.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: Can we find gratitude and joy in ordinary life, in the quiet moments at home, with our spouse, or even by ourselves, just enjoying our dog or a nice walk outside or a good book, when we can get to those places, man, when ordinary life can be enough.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_00: What a different perspective for this phase of life.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that doesn't mean that we just slow down or quit or don't want to make a difference in this world because we do want to live at our calling.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: But on the flip side of that, when we can get to a place where day-to-day life and the ordinary things are blessings, what joy, what a way to live.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I pray that we would all find that and all be able to do that in a day-to-day and in a Sabbath, whatever that looks like.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's really something too.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I was gonna say strive for, but that's an oxymoron because we're talking about not striving and slowing down, being good stewards.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I highly encourage you if you haven't, and I've read his other book too.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: I can't remember the name of it right now, but I can link it in the show notes.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_00: But this book, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, what so good.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, so, so, so good.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I highly recommend it.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: I think it will change your perspective.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's this is what is responsible when I talk to you guys about how important it was for me and transformational it was for me to slow down and take those 20 minutes in the morning with the Lord and to just spend time in prayer and quiet in the ordinary.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: This book, this book is responsible for what for it.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a good for me.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: I blew through it.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's an easy read, it's entertaining.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot recommend it enough.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely if you haven't read it, look it up.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: And if you've read it, uh, let me know about it.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to hear what your thoughts are.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: Be fun to maybe do a book club together and pick books that we could read.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm an avid reader.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure many of you are too.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, reach out and let me know if you read this, what you thought about it.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you read it in the future, what you thought.
• 33:38
  SPEAKER_00: If there's other books that you really love, share them with me.
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to know.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to share them with others, and I'd love to add them to my list.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_00: I always have a book list going.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've always usually got two to three books going: a faith book, a good novel, and then sometimes like a health book.
• 33:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so I do love to read and I love to fill in those spaces.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this was helpful to you.
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_00: I do think rest is really important and I don't think we talk about it enough.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then to take it a step further and have a full day of rest and just being, wow, if we can get back to that practice, and not to say that you can do it all the time, because as much as I try to do it, things come up.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it's definitely I strive to do that once a week, and I probably hit it most most weeks, at least three weekends out of four or five in the month, and it does make a difference.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, definitely reach out to me and let me know how things are going.
• 34:32
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know about the books that you're reading.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: The email is Brooke at the stillwellmom.com.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can also follow along with me on Instagram and Facebook at the Stillwell Mom.
• 34:43
  SPEAKER_00: The website is www.thillwellmom.com where you can find all the information about the podcast, the strong study rooted foundations program, the free Stillwell Starter Guide.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's all there.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_00: There are more resources to come.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: So check back on that regularly.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: And just thank you for being again a part of this conversation and for taking the time to listen.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you to all of those of you who have reached out and encouraged me or asked questions.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_00: I really appreciate the kind words.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_00: It means the world to me.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you to those of you who have rated and reviewed the podcast.
• 35:19
  SPEAKER_00: If you have not done so and you are enjoying the podcast, if you would take a moment to do that, it only takes a minute, not even a minute.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it makes such a difference for visibility and searchability for the podcast.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_00: And certainly if you are enjoying what you're hearing or something meant something to you, it probably will to somebody else as well.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: So please share.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: Please share with your friends and let them know that's probably the best way to get this community going is with word of mouth and sharing.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: And again, we are so much better when we are connected and together.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: And that's my hope for this group because going through this phase of life, let's face it, is not always easy.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh yeah, there's a lot of things that come up.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of things that are on our mind.
• 36:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so we can talk about them and speak them and get them out of our mind and just out into the open.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's so much better for all of us because many of us are dealing with the same things.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: So to that end, remember that you do not have to do midlife alone.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: You can always choose stewardship over striving, and you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.