Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 85: What You Consume Shapes Your Nervous System

Transcript

Episode 85: What You Consume Shapes Your Nervous System · Heal Yourself Podcast

• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, before we dive into today's episode, we want to tell you about something we created just for you.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's called the beginning.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's a mini audio course, and that's exactly what it sounds like.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Not a finish line, not a transformation overnight, just a starting point.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's the thing: you don't have a motivation problem.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You have a nervous system problem.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what this course actually addresses.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: It walks you through awareness, emotions, nervous system regulation, boundaries, trust, the real foundations, the stuff that has to come first before anything else can stick.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's the 1% shift.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: You go from a zero to a one.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: And from a one, everything else becomes possible.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to be ready.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: You don't need to have it together.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: You just need to be willing to take one small step back to yourself.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the show notes.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Go check out the beginning.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're waiting for you.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Hello everyone.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: You got Kira and Denise today, and we're talking about consumption, but not of food.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Consumption.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Items.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and like what you said, what you how did you say it?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: What you consume controls your nervous system?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: Shapes your nervous system.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: I like that.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: What you consume.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I mean it could be food consumption as well.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, 100%.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it doesn't have to just be like, you know, scrolling and media and TV.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: It could be, you know, if you're constantly eating junk food or whatever, it definitely shapes your nervous system.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, it does.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: It keeps because the body is, it's actually a really good point.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because think about it, it's creating more work on the body, right?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like if we're eating food that's not really food and the body perceives it as a toxin.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this is something that people don't understand.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: If it's found in nature, it's a food.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: You're getting nutrients extracted from it.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: If it's made in a factory, there's not any natural, you know, nutrients coming from it.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: So it's a toxin that creates stress on the body, that's gonna affect the nervous system.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna perceive it as a threat.
• 2:25
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then it's just gonna alert.
• 2:28
  unknown: Yeah.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: But um, have you ever, Kira, noticed that's a question for you?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know you love your social media.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: You love your some social media.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: So have you ever noticed that after scrolling, let's say for an hour, you feel an hour at all.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like let's say you sometimes, like let's say you lost time of scrolling and then you feel like a little bit anxious or depressed, not depressed, but you know, I mean, like that's a strong word, but you just don't feel good.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever noticed that?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah, and here's the thing I would never get to an hour because I know that I would be like crawling out of my skin.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: I think at most, maybe I've scrolled for 20 minutes at a time.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's seriously, not even exaggerating because it is that, like I feel it impacting my nervous system.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm staring.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: But how did you get to 20 minutes?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Have you scrolled longer before?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean it made you feel like ugh, but I think that's why you're like and I'm just throwing out a number, like I've never sat you know, sat with a timer, but sometimes you we we do lose track of time.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_01: We do, we do, and I'll give you that.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when I scroll, like I see so much crap.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it is.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily a time for me.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's oh, okay, that's interesting.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, there's an ad that's targeted to me.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, this is doom and gloom.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is doom and gloom.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, when I start seeing stuff where I'm like, this is ridiculous, this is this is fear-based, there's no facts to this, that's when I'm like, I'm off, I'm not interested anymore.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that's when I feel my nervous system like we're ramping up, we don't feel good.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_01: And that's after five minutes, you know?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes you you still feel, and then it takes you a minute to go back, right?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Or let's say, you know, have you ever known or maybe you know, grown up in around people who constantly complain, who people who are constantly dramatic, and you notice that you know you you attract people like that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever you know known somebody that you know, like just like their their the the whole family complains and they just you know become complainers and they keep attracting complainers?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, thankfully I don't have that, but it like this just makes me think of an example where I don't think I have any family that listens to this.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: If I have family that listens to this, put on your earplugs.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: Don't listen to this.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna say my on my husband's side, it's not even my family.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: There's someone in the family that can be very negative, right?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and we've gotten to the point where we really don't want to spend much time around them because it's like we're consuming what they're putting out, right?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's negative, it's argumentative, it's defensive, like it just doesn't feel good.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I, you know, my husband's closer to this than I am because it's his immediate family.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: For me, I'm just like, eh, whatever, no big deal, you know.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I can see it physically impact his nervous system.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like he starts getting worked up, he starts getting tense.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like you can, you know what I mean?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like we can tell when someone else is starting to get dysregulated.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: And because it it, you know, go it um also probably triggers some old wounds and some old patterns that you left that you stepped away from, and then you're like all of a sudden you go back to being five years old.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: And when you were five, you didn't have the tools, right?
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then he you probably used the tools.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So your nervous system is always listening.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Always, you know, it's listening to the shows that you watch, the shows that you are surrounded with.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: Let's say, you know, you live with people that are constantly watching, you know, drama or loud crime, right?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and then you don't have that moment of silence, like your nervous system is constantly ling, and it goes into that mode, that survival.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: Well, and then you start attracting, and that that becomes your normal.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, for example, somebody who grew up with like loud dramatic households, right?
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: They may end up in you know chaotic relationships because that is their familiar, because that is their normal, and then they cannot sit quiet.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it goes back to like the body set point and what we've talked about before.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: I did want to say something though, and this kind of ties in with what we spoke about honestly, the last few weeks of like over-consumption, overdoing things AI.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: And think about consumption, right?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: Someone can be like, oh, I don't, I don't scroll social media, I don't eat a lot of junk foods.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like, fine, and I don't have anyone negative in my life, but what about healthy consumption?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: What about listening to 10 health podcasts in a day?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: What about listening to 10 webinars in a week?
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: What about obsessing over what you're putting in your mouth because you know, you saw on Instagram that, you know, you're gonna die if you eat a cookie?
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like there can be overconsumption of healthy things that are also gonna dysregulate your nervous system.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right, because that's creating the information overload.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then information overload, that your your nervous system is not distinguishing between is this a healthy or not healthy, it's just what what is overloading on my body, and then it just it just red alert, red alert, I'm not safe.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I need to be safe, and this is when it shuts down.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: And and and some people who don't have tools or who you don't utilize their tools as often as you and I do, it may take their nervous system a while to get back into balance, right?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's why every time we tell you awareness, awareness, awareness, tools, tools, tools, because and again, we go back to our audio course that you know I created at the beginning, is we we are teaching you to have that one percent because that one percent later on become two, three, four, and then so on.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: You don't start with immediately regulating, right?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I love about you know neurodivergent kiddos who are innately regulating, yeah.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: But society sometimes views it as oh, this is a behavior that doesn't fit into society, we need to suppress it.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I always tell the parents no, they want to flap their hands and they want to stim, you let them be.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: They want to go through that ritual of them, whatever lining things up and whatever they're doing, and let them be, because that is how they're regulating.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: We don't understand it.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Just let them be.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Seriously.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm laughing because I think most listeners know maybe not, but I've got a neurodivergent kiddo.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and his new thing is lists.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: But girl, if you could see the coffee table, and we're not in our house, right?
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're in an 800 square foot condo, so we don't have much space, but he has written down every day Tavin 10 third grade, Tavin 10, 4th grade, Tavin 11, 4th grade.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: So he's written his name, the age that he will be, and the grades on strips of paper.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: And they are lined up on the coffee table.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I went and I almost sat on it today, and he got so mad at me, and I had to get back up.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: And he's he's gone through what did he say, like also 13th, 14th, 15th, and 16th grade because he wants to go to college.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, we don't really call it 15th grade.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want to, but that's it for whatever reason, right now, that is what regulates his nervous system.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just laughing.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And now who are we to say that it doesn't?
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, and that is, and that's why I do always advocate toward what is innate for them, what is coming to them.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: You need to respect it, maybe learn from it too, because that is it's just it's it's so innate for them.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: It is such a they listen to their intuition more than you and I because they don't have the the the ego that we have, or you know, neurotypical teenagers or you know, your son's age have.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but let's also add that it's not just screens, Kira.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's not, it's um what you consume, it's the people that you spend time with.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like my husband's family.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's the conversations that you're participating in, right?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you are at work, for example, and and you know, you're participating in those work conversations that are constantly draining you, and then when you feel the conversation, you're like, what the heck?
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: I just felt like I was hit by a bus.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it is the the friend who's always only calling you to nag and nag and nag and nag and nag, or like you say, or to complain and she doesn't, or he or she does they don't want solutions, so you try to offer solution and they go back to the nagging, but it's and then or like you said, the family member who's you know complaining the minute they get in the car or the minute that you see them, they have a whole instead of Tav counting his grades, they have a whole right, so you can eat perfectly and exercise and do all these things, but if you are spending, you know, at work your break over, you know, with somebody who's conversing with you for 30 minutes of non-stop whining.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Well, guess what happened to that salad that you just ate?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Not getting digested and assimilated, right?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: Seriously, though, that's how it works.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I tell my clients, I'm like, how you eat is as important as what you eat.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care if you're eating the healthiest meals.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: If you're eating in a fight or flight state, you're distracted, you're upset, like it's not, it's not getting digested and absorbed the way it should.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you're not getting the benefits.
• 12:56
  unknown: Yeah.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we're con we are absorbing the emotions of others too, you know, through and then, and then also, oh, and then I saw it the other day, and I mean I'm sure you've seen it too.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you're eating and drinking, right?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you have the the meal, you're having a break, right?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And your coworker constantly for 30 minutes was complaining.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever she sent out that came into your food and you consumed it.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Look it up, it's science.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to like, you know.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, but that you know, it again, it goes like I made you just go back to the water experiment.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: So whatever she's saying, it's going into the water, and to the food.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I was gonna say.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: Veda, I can't remember her name, but if you guys don't know what we're talking about, look at Veda water, and you'll know she has been studying like literally our emotions around the water, change the vibration of the water, change the structure of the water, like it's fascinating.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I mean it's the same with plants, right?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like you look at plants that you you know have in negative energy, like a household that's always arguing, they're not as healthy.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like we've we've seen that.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that's consumption.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: They're they're consuming what's around them.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I realize we can't always control everything, right?
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_01: You can turn on the news and be like, oh man, that made me spiral.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, and if you want to turn on the news to stay aware, fine.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: But you've got to start to look at is the majority of what I'm consuming actually serving me or is it dysregulating me?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that even goes on your healing journey, right?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want you to become obsessed.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: By all means, listen to us weekly.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: They're bite-sized episodes, they're rarely over 30 minutes, but I don't want it to be something where like I listen to you guys, but I listen to a webinar, and then I take a course, and then I do this, and that healthy consumption is no longer healthy.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: No, yeah, and it also let's let's go deeper than that.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: It is also the consumption of the generational patterns and the unconscious behaviors that you grew up that your ancestors that were carried on generation to generation to generation.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: For example, you do have a lot of families, and I am going to kind of like call out Middle Eastern families, they connect a lot on victimization and on illnesses.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, seriously, sometimes when you're hearing people in the Middle Eastern household or like gatherings, oh my stomach, I'm having trouble, and then oh no, I have this.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: So it's kind of like they're one-upping each other with the health issues that are.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then, and then, but this is if if you grew up seeing that, that is what your nervous system got used to, and that's why you know, people talk and we talk as well on this podcast of interrupting those patterns and being conscious about the generational patterns that you want to uh change.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, for example, let's say you grew up in a household on a generational pattern of women always, you know, tolerating bad behavior, tolerating um uh, you know, emotional abuse, physical abuse, whatever, you start, you attract that because that is your normal.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you only stop attracting it when it stops with you, and you say, I don't want to carry it on to my next generation.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing with unhealthy eating, right?
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why they say, Oh, diabetes runs in the family.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, it doesn't run into the family, but consuming unhealthy food all the time because you saw that as a generational pattern, you know, your let's say your grandma, your mom, your dad, whatever, always munching at like 11 p.m.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: at night, you took that on as a pattern, right?
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this is when it stops with you.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: So you also consumption can mean consumption of subconscious behavior through the the pattern, through the generational patterns.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the hard one, right?
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is hard to recognize those generational patterns, but I will say one thing that helped me was honestly looking at this is gonna sound really bad, but looking at things, because it's easier to look at others versus looking in the mirror sometimes.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: Of course, looking at things in my parents, especially of like, what don't I like?
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: What are the things that I don't agree with?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: And then looking in the mirror of, now how does that show up with me?
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's that's how I came to the realization of like, oh my gosh, one of the patterns I adopted was overdoing, people pleasing, perfectionism type A, like go, go, go.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't recognize it in me.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I always saw my mom doing that, and I viewed it as a wonderful trait.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my gosh, she's so busy, she gets so much done, she's amazing.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was like, wait a minute, I am doing the same thing.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't realize it.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: So sometimes it's looking at people immediately in your life because you can't look in the mirror, you can't see it, the mirror's dirty, whatever.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: But if you see it in someone else, then you can start to say, How might this be showing up in me?
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: I love that because you are 100% right.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's hard to see the pattern in yourself, but it's good to step back and see your parents because you obviously we we took we took a lot of things from them, but then it's like we're not looking, and I I'm sure you didn't look to judge, you look to like kind of like to reflect, but I love how you turned it back and reflected, and that's how you were able to recognize the pattern.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening right now and you're like, oh my goodness, I do this like my mother, I do this like my dad, it is normal, and that's okay.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with your mom and dad.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's just how what they knew at the time and what was available to them, but that's what we're telling you.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: See how it is reflecting, because it also could be the opposite, right?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: You may not, you you may like let's say see something.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Some people could have seen their mother, you know, try to achieve a lot and be you know, go, go, go, go, go.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: They could go the other direction, yeah, and not right, and then like not do anything and be lazy and like, oh, you know, my mom was like that, and I don't want to be like her.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: But now I'm on the other end, yeah.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this is where the question that you ask is, how is this reflecting on me?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because it is.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: We uh we've consumed it, we've absorbed our parents' patterns, habits, beliefs, you know, and you can't change those things, like you said, you can't make the what is it?
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Bring the conscious.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: You've got a saying, and now I can't think of it.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: Bring the the subconscious conscious.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't I didn't say that.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: I think one of these like really meant like played or somebody.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Until you oh, until you until you bring the subconscious the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you call it destiny.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, okay, that's where I was going.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_01: I knew I was gonna butcher it, but you guys get what we're saying, but but that's my point of like you have to look at the people you're close to in order to start to make some of those because everything has gonna be reflected.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's just how much is it like you said, the opposite?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is it oh my gosh, I never even noticed that's my pattern.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can look at some of these things, like I'm not saying you've absorbed every single thing from your parents, but there's a lot, there's a lot.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so it's time to uh start reflecting how it's affecting you, and there's also another thing that when your environment, whether it's the your family, I'm not talking it can be the people you surround yourself with, because some people just think maybe like, well, I don't have my family around.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: How it's just everybody, the neighbors, the the coworkers.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your environment, if your environment is so critical, is so negative, it's so into victim mentality, your nervous system is going to shrink, right?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's going to go into survival mode, and then this is when your dreams, your achievements, whatever you want start feeling too big, and your ambitions start feeling selfish because others around you are in that.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, poor people, they're so dramatic.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Look at people in Africa, they're this, they're that.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, this coffee's ten dollars.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness, they're people that right.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you're constantly surrounded by that, your dreams are all of a sudden are going into you're going this nervous system is going into survival mode, and everything is going to be, oh, I'm being selfish, oh shoot, I'm consuming an eight dollar latte.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm selfish because people, people are, you know, your joy is going to be to feel guilty, like, oh my goodness, how am I happy?
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And others are um, you know, uh others are suffering, right?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why you want to surround yourself with the environment that lifts you up, that puts you in a regulatory state, so your dreams don't feel too big, so your actions that you're doing don't feel too selfish.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: So you you know that when you change.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And when you level up, the whole you level up the whole people around you as well.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's why it just goes back to look at everything you're consuming.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: Look at everything you've consumed in the past, you know, that generational piece.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the things you're consuming now, the food, the social media, the news, whatever, the relationships, and go from there.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like decide are the things I'm consuming, consuming serving me or actually hurting me?
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: And then make yeah.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then um, I mean, some examples for you to start considering if you are the type of person who mindlessly scrolls, if you are that type of person, make sure that you re you can replace mindless scrolling with a book that expands you or a one podcast, not 500.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, because I know you don't want to overconsume, but or you know, taking a walk instead of you know scrolling, uh, noticing, start noticing the friendships uh that leave you, you know, start start taking a mental note.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like talking to this friend lifts me up, but talking to this friend really drains me, right?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're not telling you to dump the other friend, however, maybe consume them less, right?
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like you and I leave long voice notes to the to the to us to our each other, but I totally feel like I'm looking forward.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: Look, even I'm saying it to everybody, I look forward to your voice messages because they're constantly you know uplifting, right?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Or we're or we're either talking about a podcast idea or about the course idea or about coaching each other, coaching each other, exactly.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, watching content that is consuming.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you're gonna consume content, consume positive content in a short periods of time, right?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: And make sure that it is that you do have your slow mornings, right?
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: You're not getting out of bed and immediately brushing your teeth, brushing your face, and getting out the door.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Try to have that slow, no phone, opening the blinds to look at or get outside, which is what I tell them.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the same thing goes for evening, right?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I consume before bed.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like we watch TV, that's our quiet time, and it's like, oh my gosh, I love watching mindless TV before bed, but we're not consuming anything dramatic.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: I can't do anything violent.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but that's the thing.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_01: Look, watch your consumption before bed too, because it's gonna impact your sleep.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because you take it with you to your dreams and to your next day.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you wake up with the same thoughts that you had on repeat the day before.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure that those thoughts are calming.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: So you can kind of like how do you remember when I mean it was in all the parenting books, wind down the baby before going to sleep.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: What did we do?
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: We gave them a lavender bath and your little massage while you're dressing them with the lotion.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: So, same thing with you, right?
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: So go back to loving yourself enough that your life depends on it, where you are treating yourself like that gentle baby and saying, Okay, no consumption of you know, it could be like a funny show.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, how housewives is not laughing, you are laughing.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_00: Housewives are fun, so consume the housewives you have my permission.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, but and then, but you know, of course, at nighttime, though, while you're in bed, and if you notice, absolutely if you notice those thoughts on the toxic thoughts, oh shoot, I said something.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man, why did I say this to this person and to that person?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: Immediately I would say, please recognize that and put on something that is uh there are some affirmations that you can listen to on repeat that will you know penetrate your subconscious while you're sleeping and they will interrupt that thought look because I promise to, I mean, it has been talked about by many authors and mentors, and it's been proven, but I've seen it too.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: You do wake up with the same thoughts on repeat, the one that you slept, you know, repeating.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: So make sure that you definitely consider that and just you know, please don't, because that's toxic.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's another conception of toxic thoughts that's on repeat, examining everything that you did wrong during the freaking day.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: You can change it.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it's done, it's over exactly.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely put something that will interrupt that brown noise music, uh uh affirmations, whatever.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: So wind yourself down.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and again, I want to also say, do you have anything to add about some of the but I want to say that you know, just like Kira and I talk about the 1%, please don't think that you're gonna get this to perfection like today or tomorrow.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: We're still working on it, guys.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's okay, right?
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes, for example, you are going to be in the car with you know a family member, like for example, that is constantly complaining.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're not just gonna pull over on the side and kick them out.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe you will.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: You want to you want to in your mind, but you're not gonna do so.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is when you're actually gonna take your deep breaths and you are gonna tune them out, just like I tune out some of my children who are constantly screaming.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then sometimes you are, I mean, let's let's put it this way sometimes you are going to forget and you are gonna mind scroll, doom scroll, whatever it's called, uh, at midnight, and you're gonna notice, oh shit, it's been an hour.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: That's okay.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: Forgive yourself, put your affirmations on or your relaxing music on.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: So the goal is not to be perfect, it is awareness, like we always say, it's awareness.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Make the unconscious conscious.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Now that I've got the brainstone.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, make bring the unconscious conscious.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because it will rule your life and you call it destiny.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like when somebody says that you know, it runs in the family, it runs in the family, it runs in the family.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it only runs in the family when you are allowing it to run in the family.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, so your nervous system is either being trained toward peace or toward chaos.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: It is you who decides and choose.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's up to you.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want it to continue with the chaos?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're gonna be like, oh, this is my fate, or you want to be like, no, it starts with me.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_00: And and a lot of the times the unfamiliar is is this is uncomfortable.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that's right, that's the growth.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, is when we look at society right now, in this moment in 2026, there are a lot of dysregulated people.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: So the more you can work on regulating yourself, the more that's gonna ripple in to everyone.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, especially the generation that comes after you.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: Because your kids and your friends, like when people see you regulate, they regulate.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And it really is a ribble effect.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then and then just some people that yeah, and then don't please don't try to change others, right?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, for example, like let's say you you like to hang out with this person, but they're constantly negative.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's not on, it's not up to you.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: You've modeled, and then after so many, let's say, time that has passed by, that person's still the same.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's on them, it's not your responsibility to change anybody, no matter who they are, not even your parents, your kids, your spouse, your friends.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's up to you to say, you know what, I do like that person, but I can you know decrease my time with them or cut it off.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's up it's up to you, but uh how dramatic you want to be, but or how much of the effect is going to be.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: But uh ultimately you are you are deciding you want your nervous system to live in chaos or to live in peace.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a simple question.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: I choose peace always peace over everything, peace over anything, and that's yeah.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I think is there anything else you want to add?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I didn't know if you wanted to do your reading.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_00: We are, we are, yeah.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was just I was just I was just asking for the last moment.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was just listening to you today.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: I said I'm complete, I was just listening to you today.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_00: You are um, because it's really late where you are right now.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_00: It is late, and I took a nap.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: So Denise's a little chatty.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like a little less chatty.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: You were with a client before we hopped on.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was on the pillow, sleeping.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: Dreaming of Real Housewives, probably.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_00: I know.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, that the Beverly Hills one um is done, but I have but they have not aired the reunion yet, so I'm waiting on that.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I started Real House of Atlanthes.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys don't know, Denise likes Real Housewives.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I love Real Housewives, I love it, love it.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: I don't watch all of them though, like they have Rhode Island right now.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not starting a new one.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, I have the ones I watch and then I wait for them.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't jump into others, but no, and the new ones, I'm like, no, I don't want to get to know new people from a different state.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so let's do our breathing.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: What do you it is uh it is I've been loving that it is safe because I think it's been our safe for me to consume safe for me to listen to my nervous system.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: You have not just come up with that on a whim.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: I love it.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: It is safe for me to trust my nervous system to listen, to trust my nervous system.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, or you guys pick the affirmation or the the mantra that works for you too.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: If one of them feels better, then go with it.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: Alrighty, so okay.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and today I got a compliment from your husband.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, about um about the our breathing.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't you see the Instagram?
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just looked, but I roll my eyes.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's my husband, guys.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: He's being silly, but whatever.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever.
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, did you end up he does listen to us and it's I should have thought of I should have thought the eye you should have closed your eyes while you were driving.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he you know the it says a lot though he does listen to us, so shout out to the heavy who likes to listen to us.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: He's behind on his episodes, but that's all right.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes, I'm sure he's gonna laugh at us on this one.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: Alrighty, okay, so again, if you are driving, please don't close your eyes.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: But if you can close your eyes, hand on your heart, you can put the other hand on the belly, it doesn't matter, whatever.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do the four-four-four.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: It is safe for me to trust my nervous system.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna inhale for four, two, three, four.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna pause.