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Intentional Intimacy: Why Your Mindset Matters Most · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for April 15, 2026 Intentional Intimacy While Your Mindset
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  Matters Most What a couple needs most to have a great sex life in their silver
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  years has to do with their thinking.
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  Be intentional about sex. Start that now, whether you're 20 or 60.
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  It will make sex now better and prepare you to deal with any speed bumps age
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  puts in your way. Be intentional about having sex regularly.
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  Decide what is critical enough to get in the way of sex and don't allow anything
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  that is not on that short list to keep you from having sex.
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  Be intentional about dealing with problems. That means relationship issues that
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  mess up sex. It means my body doesn't do that anymore issues.
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  And anything else that negatively impacts sex.
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  Attitude is everything. Showing
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  up for sex is not enough. You must both be involved. Touch and play.
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  Say something nice about your spouse's body or what they are doing to your body.
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  When sex is over, let them know you enjoyed it.
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  This needs to happen even when the sex is not for you.
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  Sex, just for one of you, is a valid way of dealing with different drives,
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  but the one who is there for their spouse needs to really be there.
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  Failure to engage makes sex just a physical act, and that does not lead to a lifetime of great sex.
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  Be open to change. As our bodies and minds change, what was great in the past
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  may be only good today, and in a year it may not be good at all.
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  Change it up from time to time, and see if something a bit different is easier or more enjoyable.
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  Expand your repertoire before you need something new.
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  Aging can slow arousal for both wife and husband. At some point,
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  he will need physical foreplay to get fully erect when she is ready for intercourse.
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  This does not mean that he no longer finds her desirable.
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  It is a normal change that comes with age. His erections may be less firm than
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  they once were, but still perfectly functional.
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  She may need some added lubricant.
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  Sore backs and injured knees can make that position you both enjoy difficult
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  for one of you and eventually impossible.
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  You might have to rethink when you have sex. If one or both of you are too tired
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  at the end of the day for good sex, considering morning sex or an afternoon delight.
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  Learn what works for you and do that.
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  What if something happens that makes intercourse impossible for a season,
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  or for the rest of your lives?
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  Does that mean sex is over? Do you both see sex as more than tab A and slot B?
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  Will you continue to share intimacy and pleasure in other ways?
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  Discussing this now, rather than when it happens, is a good plan.
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  It's probably been said too often that the brain is the biggest sex organ, but the idea is valid.
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  It's also critical if you and your spouse are going to keep enjoying sexual intimacy.
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  This is Paul, and I want you to keep doing sex well for a very long time.