Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Trump Napped While Biden Honored the Attack | Breaking Absurdity Ep 39

Transcript

Trump Napped While Biden Honored the Attack | Breaking Absurdity Ep 39 · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  Trump couldn't stay awake during the Pentagon's
• 0:02
  9 -11 ceremony yesterday. Although, to be fair,
• 0:05
  he did seem to open his eyes every time the bell
• 0:07
  rang. So whoever scheduled those bells during
• 0:10
  Trump's nap better start updating their resume.
• 0:13
  At least he was awake for the important parts.
• 0:16
  Meanwhile, in New York, Joe Biden looked remarkably
• 0:18
  alert, hand over his heart, eyes open, actually
• 0:21
  paying attention. So naturally we're asking the
• 0:23
  question, now who's sleepy? One remembered the
• 0:26
  attacks, the other remembered his nap. And while
• 0:28
  Trump was sleeping through 9 -11, Melania was
• 0:31
  having a rather interesting week. In Melania
• 0:33
  Watch, Melania was at the White House talking
• 0:35
  about the importance of architectural preservation.
• 0:38
  At almost exactly the same time, construction
• 0:40
  was continuing on the site of the demolished
• 0:42
  East Wing. The irony was apparently louder than
• 0:45
  the construction noise. And then in Ireland,
• 0:48
  Trump may have accidentally revealed how Melania
• 0:50
  really feels about traveling with him. And it's
• 0:53
  not very flattering. So no one's really surprised
• 0:55
  when apparently Melania has a stand -in. Meanwhile,
• 0:58
  the Irish had a few things to say about Trump's
• 1:00
  visit, very diplomatically. Over in Dallas, Erica
• 1:04
  Kirk appeared to have received a software update,
• 1:06
  but then she glitched out and reverted to the
• 1:09
  previous operating system. And finally, in Australian
• 1:12
  absurdity, Anthony Albanese is facing backlash
• 1:14
  for accepting a free upgraded business class.
• 1:16
  That's right, Australians don't want their Prime
• 1:18
  Minister flying in business class. They want
• 1:20
  him down the back, leading the country from 35F.
• 1:23
  Because if there's one thing Australians believe
• 1:25
  in, it's making sure the Prime Minister suffers
• 1:27
  exactly as much as everyone else. We've got Trump's
• 1:30
  sleep, Melania's replacement, Erika's glitch,
• 1:33
  and Australia's corruption. It's been another
• 1:35
  very normal week. It's time for Breaking Absurdity.
• 1:41
  Everything you didn't know you needed to know
• 1:42
  today, but wish you hadn't. Ads help keep the
• 1:45
  lights on here at It's Not Satire. But if ads
• 1:48
  give you the ick, let me help you with that.
• 1:50
  If you want all the absurdity without the ads,
• 1:52
  subscribe to my sub stack and look for the ad
• 1:54
  free podcast option. The link is in the show
• 1:56
  notes. Now let's get into the absurdity. So let's
• 2:00
  start with the 9 -11 anniversary Trump attended
• 2:03
  the ceremony at the Pentagon where 184 people
• 2:05
  were killed when flight 77 crashed into the building
• 2:08
  and For much of the ceremony Trump appeared to
• 2:10
  be fighting for his life not fighting terrorists
• 2:13
  fighting consciousness He was nodding off repeatedly
• 2:16
  while the names of the victims were being read
• 2:18
  And then there was the bell every time that bell
• 2:25
  rang Trump's eyes popped open Again. And again.
• 2:33
  At this point it looked less like a memorial
• 2:35
  service and more like someone trying to keep
• 2:37
  a toddler awake in the car. But Trump wasn't
• 2:39
  the only president at a 9 -11 ceremony. In New
• 2:42
  York, all four living former presidents were
• 2:44
  there. Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama,
• 2:47
  and Joe Biden. And Biden was standing there,
• 2:50
  looking remarkably alert, eyes open, paying attention,
• 2:54
  standing through the ceremony. And this is Joe
• 2:56
  Biden, who is 83 years old and is currently battling
• 2:59
  aggressive prostate cancer that has spread to
• 3:01
  his bones. So let's just recap. Joe Biden, 83
• 3:04
  years old, cancer that has spread to his bones,
• 3:07
  standing through a 9 -11 memorial. Donald Trump,
• 3:09
  80 years old, no -no bone cancer, and apparently
• 3:12
  fighting a more immediate threat. For years,
• 3:15
  Trump called Biden Sleepy Joe. And now on the
• 3:18
  25th anniversary of 9 -11, Joe Biden was standing
• 3:21
  at ground zero while Trump was getting gently
• 3:23
  rebooted by a bell. So maybe we need a new nickname,
• 3:29
  Sleepy Donald, Nappy Trump, or perhaps President
• 3:32
  Doze. Because if there's one thing Trump clearly
• 3:34
  remembered about 9 -11, it was nap time. And
• 3:37
  now in Melania Watch. Melania was back in Washington
• 3:40
  this week, speaking about something very close
• 3:43
  to her heart. architecture, specifically the
• 3:46
  importance of preserving historic architecture.
• 3:49
  The White House stands as an architectural autobiography
• 3:54
  of America, embodying the enduring values of
• 3:58
  ambition, democracy, and civic life through its
• 4:03
  design, craftsmanship, and the objects. Which
• 4:09
  is an interesting choice considering her husband
• 4:11
  has actually already demolished the east wing
• 4:13
  of the White House. Nothing says preserving our
• 4:16
  architectural heritage quite like preserving
• 4:18
  absolutely none of it. But Melania wasn't done
• 4:21
  making headlines because then Trump went to Ireland.
• 4:24
  And while speaking there, Trump apparently forgot
• 4:26
  something fairly important. My wife is here.
• 4:29
  My wife is here in spirit. She's watching right
• 4:31
  now. She said, say hello. Oh. No, she isn't.
• 4:36
  Melania wasn't actually in Ireland, but Trump
• 4:38
  had an explanation. Well, there it is. Apparently
• 4:52
  seven hours on a plane with Donald Trump is where
• 4:54
  Melania draws the line. But don't worry, Trump
• 4:56
  wasn't completely alone in Ireland, because when
• 4:59
  Melania couldn't make it… someone else was there
• 5:01
  to fill the vacancy. Natalie Harp, Trump's aide,
• 5:05
  standing in the official greeting line like she'd
• 5:07
  just been promoted to First Lady of Ireland.
• 5:10
  So to recap, Melania stayed home because of the
• 5:13
  seven -hour flight. Trump accidentally announced
• 5:15
  that she was there and Natalie Harp ended up
• 5:18
  standing in the diplomatic receiving line. Everything
• 5:20
  is completely normal in Melania Watch. Meanwhile,
• 5:23
  the Irish public was a little bit less than welcoming
• 5:26
  to Trump. Thousands of people took to the streets
• 5:29
  in Dublin to make their feelings known, but the
• 5:31
  Irish weren't content with ordinary protest signs.
• 5:34
  No, they got creative. There was Trump, alongside
• 5:37
  Putin, alongside Epstein, and then there was
• 5:40
  this one. I'm not entirely sure what diplomatic
• 5:43
  protocol covers this particular configuration,
• 5:46
  but I'm guessing it isn't in the State Department
• 5:48
  handbook. And Ireland wasn't finished. On Dublin
• 5:52
  Bay, protesters carved a giant message into the
• 5:54
  sand, no kings, along with Gaza, Iran, and ice.
• 5:58
  Which is actually rather poetic, because the
• 6:00
  tide was going to wash the message away, just
• 6:03
  like Trump's presidency. And then there was the
• 6:05
  protesters who decided the most appropriate response
• 6:07
  to Trump's visit was apparently to make sure
• 6:09
  he felt extremely welcome. So after all the diplomacy,
• 6:13
  the golf, the presidential motorcade, and the
• 6:16
  seven -hour flight Melania didn't want to take,
• 6:18
  Trump finally got to the Irish welcome. They
• 6:20
  gave him the full Irish treatment. A warm reception.
• 6:24
  And then there was Erika Kirk. It had been a
• 6:27
  while since Erika had made a major public appearance
• 6:29
  at a political event, and when she finally did,
• 6:32
  something seemed different. After that bizarre
• 6:35
  camera stare incident in March, it looked like
• 6:38
  Erika had made an effort to tone down the facial
• 6:40
  expressions. The staring, the smiles, the sudden
• 6:44
  changes in expression, everything seemed a little
• 6:46
  more controlled. So naturally, we assumed Erika
• 6:49
  had received a software update. New facial expression
• 6:52
  settings, improved eye contact controls, reduced
• 6:55
  staring, but unfortunately the update didn't
• 6:58
  last very long. Erica is here someplace. Erica,
• 7:06
  where is Erica? So much for the software update.
• 7:49
  And finally, an Australian absurdity. Anthony
• 7:51
  Albanese has found himself in hot water for accepting
• 7:54
  a free upgraded business class. Yes, this is
• 7:58
  where we are. The Prime Minister was upgraded
• 7:59
  on a flight to the US and Australians apparently
• 8:02
  decided this was a scandal because apparently
• 8:04
  if you're the Australian Prime Minister, you
• 8:06
  should not be allowed to enjoy a comfortable
• 8:07
  seat. You should be down in the back with the
• 8:09
  rest of them. economy, middle seat, somewhere
• 8:12
  reclining directly into your knees, a screaming
• 8:15
  baby three rows behind you, that's leadership.
• 8:19
  And let's be clear, he didn't demand the upgrade,
• 8:21
  he didn't book himself into business class, he
• 8:23
  was offered a free upgrade, and he accepted it,
• 8:25
  which apparently is where Australian corruption
• 8:28
  finally begins. Forget bribes or kickbacks or
• 8:31
  political donations, the real scandal is, Albo
• 8:34
  got a better seat than you. And if Australia
• 8:36
  has taught us anything, it's that they don't
• 8:39
  necessarily want their politicians to be corrupt,
• 8:41
  they just want them to be miserable. And there
• 8:44
  you have it, another day of breaking absurdity,
• 8:47
  your daily reminder that this is not normal.
• 8:50
  Be sure to like and subscribe to help me keep
• 8:53
  bringing you more daily absurdity. And if ads
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• 8:58
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• 9:00
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• 9:02
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