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The Thing I Kept Ignoring Was Wrecking My Sleep: Better Sleep in Midlife · Still Well Podcast

• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, my friends, and welcome back to another episode of Still Well Podcast.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Brooke Stillwell, and I'm so glad you've joined me again for another conversation about all things midlife and how we can just thrive and be our best selves and be vital and energetic in this next phase and show up well for the people we love.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's what it's all about, right?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So today's conversation is going to be geared to that strong piece of the Stillwell moms.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: We have strong, steady, and rooted.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to talk to you about strong, wherein how do we build physical capacity and physical health as we age?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: And this is not a conversation about lifting weights or toning or eating the right foods or anything like that.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: What I really want to touch on, and maybe even more important than those things, dare I say it, is something that I'm guessing many of you might struggle with because I know that I have in the past tremendously and still do to some extent, and that is sleep.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sleep is a heavy topic here, right?
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Especially in this phase of life.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep can often elude us for a variety of reasons.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's because we are in perimenopause or menopause, so the hormones are wreaking havoc and we're waking up in the middle of the night with night sweats and hot flashes.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's because our kids are getting older and they're out of the house, if not completely, more regularly.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: We are laying awake at night and just thinking through like every worst case scenario, thinking through how they are, where they are, they're not under our roofs anymore, what is happening with them, you know, all of those kind of things.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, some of it is just getting older.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes sleep can be more and more difficult.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to touch on this because it's not okay for us to just ignore the fact that we might not sleep well and just wake up feeling exhausted or maybe slightly overwhelmed or just partially fatigued and just hop up on caffeine.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, listen, I like a caffeinated beverage as much as the next girl.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: Not a coffee drinker, but I do like my tea.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm not telling you to stop drinking that.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, there's a lot of research that shows that these things are actually pretty good for us and they're full of antioxidants.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So that's not it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I just, the problem is I don't want us to mask a symptom.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And because we've masked the symptom with something but not treated the cause, right?
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: I talk a lot about this because we're maybe masking the symptom of fatigue and a poor night's sleep with caffeine instead of treating, well, why am I exhausted in the morning when I wake up?
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: We can be doing a disservice to ourselves because sleep is one of the most important things that you can do for your physical health.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: We need sleep.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: I've talked to you guys about how important it is to strength train and exercise and move our body, how important it is, if not more so, to have days of rest and recovery.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: And part of rest and recovery is a really good night's sleep.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I am starting to find this more and more.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: I will tell you, like truthfully, my sleep is more dialed in than it's been in years, even though it still has some work to improve.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I definitely am seeing now that I'm lifting heavier and lifting more often and just pushing my body in ways that I never have before, I am seeing even more how important a good night's rest and sleep is.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: That happens in the first like early part of your sleep, like the first two hours or so, or two to four hours, maybe.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so that in and of itself, you know, if we have any worries about aging and having mental capacity and being able to think well and stay focused, we have to be focused on our sleep.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: When we sleep better, we know from research that our brain is able to detox and remove waste products more readily.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that will help our brain to function better and stay healthy and strong.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so the first key to that is going to bed at a reasonable time because those things that detox, that lymphatic system happens on the earlier end of sleep from like 10 o'clock to 12 o'clock.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's really important that we get to bed at the right time.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's a little more tricky for you these days because, you know, I found at least in my life, like the kids are older.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: My last one, who is a junior, he's often getting up and he's out the door, and I don't need to get up as early necessary to prep him to go to school.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm like, oh, well, you know, maybe I can just stay up a little bit later.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to get up as early, whatever.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: So I think perhaps, and maybe I'm wrong here, but perhaps when we get more flexibility in our schedule, it allows up to stay up later.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not always necessarily a good thing.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to encourage you if you're somebody who is staying up late, and you know, some of us are just night owls, right?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Some of us function better at night than we do in the morning.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's okay too.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: But I just want to encourage you at a minimum to get to bed by 11 o'clock.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And and the best effort would be getting to bed around 10.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I try to be in bed around 10, 10:30 every night, especially during the week, so that I can get into those moments of deep sleep.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I will tell you that I have been wearing this garment, which I've spoken about in other episodes, and I'm loving it because it's forcing me with my steps.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, last night after dinner, it was Sunday night, and my husband, Ken, was watching football and I was pacing the floors and he knows now.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, I know you're getting your steps in.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And part of me is like, Brooke, you're silly.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: But the other part is like, I feel better.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, you guys, I am sleeping better, it seems, when I get in my steps.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm aiming for 10,000 steps every day, and I'm getting an average of a little more than that.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: But just whenever I can, that doesn't mean like I'm going out and taking like a 45-minute walk to an hour walk every day.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just up and it when I have a chance to get up from my desk or, you know, after I've eaten a meal, I might just be walking around my house a bit.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, it gets a little bit redundant, but it also does the job.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's not the reason that I wanted to bring up the Garmin, though.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: I brought up the Garmin because it's helping me track my sleep.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I pushed back about these devices for so hard, so long and so hard.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had my brothers talking to me about getting a whoop, my kids had the whoop, the aura ring that functional medicine doctors I worked with have told me about.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I just pushed back because I tend to be, as many of you know, obsessive.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was concerned that having something that was tracking everything would make me obsessive and would make me worry.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: If I hadn't got a good night's sleep, I'd be worried about that.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'd be worried about going to bed at night.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I may have felt a little bit of that at the start when I first started wearing this device, but now I'm just really loving it.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm loving it not because of just the steps, but because it tracks my sleep and it tells me like in the morning what type of a sleep I had.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: It breaks down how long I was in deep sleep, how long I was in REM, how long I was in light sleep.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: It tracks like my heart rate while I'm sleeping.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, and it tells me the like the score, the sleep score that I had, and then what my body battery is to start the day.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some of you may think, oh my gosh, that would drive me crazy, but I really like it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Mostly because when I it is showing me correlations.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like it doesn't tell me, oh, you had a bad night's sleep because you ate this before you went to bed.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I can start to see some correlations.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'll share those with you because I am noticing, and it's funny because there are days, you know how you just have days where you feel off and maybe like a little like achy and stiff.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it's like headache, and you're like, what?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: What is going on?
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it almost always correlates because I didn't have a deep enough sleep.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm really loving this garment for that reason.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now you don't, and I only got this garment because my brother kind of forced me into it, but I'm glad he did now.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: All that to say, the garments can be a little pricey, but there are other ways to track sleep.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you could look into the whoop as I mentioned or the aura ring, and I'm sure there are other devices I've heard them mentioned before, but this is the one I have experience with, and it has been proving itself very useful.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I like that.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: It also ironically, like on some nights where I feel like I tossed and turned a little bit or I didn't get enough, like as far as length of sleep, I wake up and I see that I actually, even though the length of sleep might not be have been as long as it should have been, like my deep sleep was good and my REM was good.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a better quality sleep.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that just gives me some peace of mind and reinforce of like you're fine, Brooke.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You had like, you know, less than seven hours, but you can go through the day.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe this is just me, but some reinforcement, positive reinforcement for me is good because I can tend to get in my own head and in my own way.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so yeah, so that has been very beneficial for me.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then I just want to talk through like, because again, sleep is one of the most important things that we can do and one of the greatest gifts that we can give for our body.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: And especially as we're aging, because our energy starts to wax and wane a little bit more, doesn't it?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so sleep becomes even more important, especially if you want to live a really active life and you want to train and you want to exercise, you want to be in the gym or at your house building muscle, whatever that looks like.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sleep is really important.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I just I can share with you some of my past.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know how much we want to get into this here because sleep was for several years a real struggle for me, you guys.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that is what led me into this deeper dive of figuring out what I can do to sleep better because I was just no pun intended, it was like a nightmare to sleep.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: I started, this was probably around the age of like 43 or so.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: I struggled with going to sleep, I struggled with staying asleep.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: That was one thing.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: But then I started waking up in the middle of the night.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know at first what was going on.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And turns out it was like a full-blown panic attack where I would wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, with my heart beating like it was gonna thump out of my chest.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it would be so frightening to roll to wake like that.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: You're in a deep sleep, or what you think is a deep sleep, and to just wake up sweating with your heart racing.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then you're laying there in bed where you should be comfortable and at rest, but you can't slow your heart rate down.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's the oddest feeling to be laying still and laying in bed in the dark, but your heart is racing wildly like you're running a marathon.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And it was awful.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got to the point because that would happen at night.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was so scary that going to bed at night, I had trouble falling asleep because I was so worried I was gonna wake up and that was gonna happen.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was a very, very tricky time of my life.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, if you've experienced anything like this or any issues with sleep problems, then what happens is you start this cycle of you didn't sleep great, then you're exhausted during the day, and then you go to bed and you're so tired that you have trouble falling asleep because you're overtired and it just goes on this, you know, never-ending feedback loop or cycle.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so I really had to work hard to unravel that for myself.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And and a lot of that, you guys, some of that was stress in my life that I needed to manage.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: So definitely I will encourage you, like first and foremost, if there's anything that needs to be dealt with in your relationships or with your family, that stress does not make it always easy to fall asleep.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: The difficult thing is, again, it's like a negative feedback loop, as you probably know.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: When you're going through periods of stress, that's when you really need the sleep because you need to be able to be clear-minded and focused.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it can be a catch-22.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why some of these tips we're gonna talk about in a couple of minutes regarding sleep will probably be helpful, especially when you're going through stressful times.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: But what I found for me, um, and the reason why that was happening is probably for a couple reasons.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I would say, I was gonna say twofold was probably more like three or fourfold.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: First of all, I had some very difficult family circumstances and some losses that I was dealing with.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: And those are the things like that come up that we don't necessarily have control of, right?
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: As we've talked about before, life is hard and we're not promised perfect peace.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus didn't promise that in the Bible.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, he promised we would have trouble and struggles in this world.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And so we know that there's going to be ups and downs.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: We know that there's gonna be stressful situations that we can't do anything about.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why I think good sleep habits and good hygiene and good choices can be very beneficial so that when you do have particularly stressful periods of time that you're going through in your life, like I was going through, you already have things in place that will help you continue to sleep at night.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so the other thing was I was just hardcore into perimenopause and I did not know.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I would ask my friends because I started to notice other things that we can talk about this another day.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I started to notice other things like with my period symptoms and things like that.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I would ask friends that were, you know, maybe 10 or more years older than me, 10 to 15 years or even more older than me, you know, could that what do you think?
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is this anxiety?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I up at night?
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Why are my periods changing?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Do you think this could be perimenopause?
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And they would all say, Oh my gosh, Brooke, that's ridiculous.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're too young for that.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be something else.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I heard that so many times that I just started to believe it.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I wish that I would not have listened.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I would have read more.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wish somebody would have told me that actually perimenopausal type things can start even as early as 37 or your mid-30s.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: It depends on a lot of different factors.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: But for me, my mother and my grandmother, I may have talked to you guys about this before, but they went through menopause early in their life.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like my mom was done with her periods at 43 and my grandmother at 37.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So it only makes sense that I would be on the earlier end as well.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: I just didn't know that's what was happening.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're listening and you've been experiencing things like this, first of all, you know, check obviously with your doctor to make sure there isn't something going on.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then if there's no other reason, just so I can reassure you, if you need to hear it, that that can be a very common symptom of perimenopause, the waking up at night, the heart racing, the anxiety and the panic.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so that was part of what was going on for me is just that my hormones were out of control and imbalance.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And even if I had just known that, maybe it wouldn't have changed things physiologically or physically for me, but just knowing that to calm me down mentally and not stress about that so much would have probably helped me sleep better, if that makes sense.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that was another thing.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also noticed, and I want you guys to really hear me on this because this might be beneficial for some of you.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_00: What was happening to me was my blood sugar was dropping in the middle of the night.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that was another thing.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: So what happens is if your blood sugar drops, your body's natural response to stabilize your blood sugar and bring it back up is to release cortisol, a spike in cortisol, which is your stress hormone, which is that hormone that is released when you, you know, it's that fight or flight when you needed to, there's a thief in the alley and you need to run away from him and things need to pick up.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is that's a great thing and we need that response.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: But when that's happening in the middle of the night and you're supposed to be sleeping, it doesn't feel so good.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I came to find out is that that was part of the issue.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I think because I was already stressed and probably my cortisol levels were already higher than they needed to be, um, just that added bonus of a little bit of drop in the blood sugar and more raising of the cortisol did it for me.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: It startled me awake, and now my mind is racing and my heart is racing and I can't calm things down.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So if that sounds like you, um, and you are somebody who wakes up in the middle of the night and maybe you just wake up for no reason at all and you can't get back to sleep, but you don't have the racing heart, it could be because your blood sugar is dropping.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And a very easy thing, and a very easy thing for you to do to keep your blood sugar balanced through the night is have a little bit of fat before you go to bed.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is gonna sound a little bit opposite of what I'm gonna tell you in a couple of minutes because I'm also gonna, well, let's get there in a minute.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because a little bit of fat will help balance your blood sugar and keep it stable through the night.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, that often looked like a small handful of nuts or a little bit of nut butter.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: I think the nut butter is probably better because just from a common sense standpoint, the nut butter is probably a little bit better because the nuts are already ground down a bit, so it's easier for you to digest.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just do a tablespoon or so of, I can't do almonds because almonds disagree with me, but a lot of people like almond butter.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: I would do a tablespoon of like a mix of cashew butter with some walnut butter or pecan butter.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's my favorite.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but you could also do even just a like a tablespoon of or a teaspoon even of coconut oil.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: Anything, olive oil, any type of fat that you can get into your system.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: I sort of like the nut butters because it's a taste like kind of feel-good, taste good thing as well.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so that one simple thing could make a big difference for you.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, on the flip side of that, I'm gonna say the opposite, wherein you shouldn't be eating late at night.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so, yes, a spoonful or two of nut butter may help balance out your blood sugar.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: But on the flip side of that, if you're eating a large meal shortly before bed, what happens is now your blood's going to your stomach, your energy and your focus of your body is going to digesting your food while you're laying there and you will not get into a deep sleep.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the most simple things you can do is stop eating at best three hours or more before bed.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: But even if you hit that two hour mark, it's better than nothing.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I like to eat late.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm usually around the two hour mark.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: But fine because I know my blood sugar waxes and wanes, that a little bit closer to bedtime, like that two hour to two and a half hour mark for me, seems to work well because I stay full.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't wake up hungry.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: But the answer for you might be to stop eating, you know, three or more hours before bed, and then shortly before bed, get that little bit of nut butter in or fat so it keeps you stabilized.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's a situation, I think, where you need to just be mindful of your own body because this is the thing.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: No one thing works for all of us.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's an important thing to understand and know.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just because something works for me doesn't mean it's gonna work well for you or that it works for her, doesn't mean it'll work well for you.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's a matter of just kind of trial and error in seeing what works best.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, take everything that I'm saying here and A, don't feel overwhelmed.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do all of it.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Pick a couple things that you think might work for you or might be easy to sustain because the things that work the best are the things that you actually do.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, B, give it some time, you know, give it time to work.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: But if it doesn't, don't get frustrated and throw the whole thing out.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just need to move on to the next thing because that particular tip was not helpful for you.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so those are two things that have helped me that little bit of fat before bed and also not eating too close to bedtime.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I inevitably know if I've eaten too much before bed, does it boy, does it sit on me and then heartburn and all of those things.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, getting older is fun, isn't it?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, we have to be mindful of those things.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: And again, we're called to be good stewards of our body.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the ways we can do that is with a good night's sleep.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: So let me backtrack a little bit because I did mention hormones, and maybe you're going, well, how like what am I supposed to do about my hormones then?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like if it's my hormones, how do I balance that out?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't want to get into that a ton today because I could talk and talk and talk about hormones and we only have so much time on this podcast and I want to focus on sleep.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe down the road I'll do another podcast episode on hormones.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to hear about that, let me know and I'll make that happen.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: But just an overview, just so you kind of know where to head or to dig, if you want to go down that path.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Stress management when it comes to your hormones is probably first and foremost.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you can start to stress manage and calm your nervous system, that will help your hormone in balance.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is again keeping your blood sugar balanced, and that means through the whole course of the day.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then number three, very often the problem is the dip in estrogen and the decrease in estrogen as your ovaries start to cool off.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, be mindful that when your stress is better managed, that helps everything.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: It'll help your whole body as your ovaries transition to stop making less estrogen.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: But that is something that you would be well served to talk to your PCP about or talk to a doctor about, because I would not, you know, there's a lot of over-the-counter things that you can do.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of like bioidentical hormone replacement therapy type things that you can do, but I never recommend that and would not recommend that to you without you having your hormones tested first and without you working with somebody that knows what they're doing.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: But if you do suspect that you're not sleeping well because of your hormones, or you've just heard me and said, wow, that sounds a lot like me.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is my hormones, I would encourage you to get that check because nobody told me that and I suffered.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like I can be dramatic, but I would call it suffering.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: It was a, it was a hard, hard, and I'm talking like seven years, very difficult.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, had I known, had I talked to somebody that was in the bioidentical space, had I had my hormones tested properly, it may have looked different for me if I had made different choices.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: So just keep that in mind.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: There are other natural things you can do, like maca can help with estrogen levels, the root powder, the herbal powder maca, and then other things that can be done.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, I would encourage you to see somebody that is a hormone specialist.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are waking up with night sweats and hot flashes, that's another good sign that the estrogen is dropping.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: So for what it's worth, keep that in mind as well.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And just know, like, there is help.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: There are things that you can do.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: Aside from that, you know, because I'm now in menopause, I've been in menopause for like, I think two years or just over two years, and I sleep much better.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I also want to encourage you, if you are struggling, um, and you know you're going through perimenopause and you know that that's contributing to sleep issues.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: I went through it all naturally and it was a struggle and it felt like a struggle going through it.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_00: That said, when you get to the other side, it does get better.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to encourage you if you're in those moments now and you're struggling, it does get better.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there's plenty of women that have gone through it before, and we will continue to go through it.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's what our bodies do.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: So hang in there, sister, because yeah, I think like we should have menopausal support.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_00: Support groups.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's not easy.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then what our husbands deal with too, right?
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_00: And speaking of which, one of the simplest things that you can do that might be very helpful for you is keep your bedroom cold.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I cannot tell you what a help this has been for me.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, like, I keep my bedroom like at 66 to 65 degrees.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: In the winter, you guys, I like sometimes keep the heat off in my bedroom at night or crack a window.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_00: I sleep better.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it is, why I get so stinking hot in the middle of the night.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: My poor husband hates it.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_00: He's been known to go to bed with earmuffs on his head.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that said, this is, you know, last week I talked about being a, you know, a good spouse and how to build your relationship and, you know, to focus on the needs of your husband.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And right now I'm going to tell you that for me, that was like the hill I was willing to die on because I like, I can, I love you, but I am no good to anyone if I don't sleep.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: I, for me personally, like some people rule with it.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: I don't.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm like, can you please bundle up if you need to, get extra blankets, but like I have to sleep to get through this and I need to keep the room cold.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to encourage you that, you know, that that's not necessarily a selfish thing to keep the room cold if you need it.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: You're looking out for yourself and you're only as good to others as you are to yourself.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if you needed to hear that, give yourself some permission to keep the room cold if you need it, because man, it can really make such a difference.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: And there are some companies, and this may have been a year or so ago, but I'm assuming they're still on the market, like the chili pad, and companies that were actually making pads that you could put under your sheets or your mattress cover that would keep things cool for you.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that if you didn't want to keep the room cold, but you needed cold to sleep, that could be beneficial and helpful too.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, it is real that we do sleep best in a cooler room.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that temperature is right around like 65 to 67 degrees.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: So just keep that in mind.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm notorious for that.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it's funny, like when I travel, people know like I need a cold room.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like my parents, when I come to their house, because maybe you guys have experienced this too, but like the older my parents are getting, they want a warmer house.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then I don't get to go back and see them often.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: But I was just there a couple weekends ago and I was like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be so hot at night.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: So it is real, it is a struggle.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: But we do the best we can, right?
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the other thing is it's so weird is like I go to bed at night and I need to bit to be freezing cold.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_00: I want to snuggle under the blankets, it helps me sleep better.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then as soon as I wake up, like all day long, I'm freezing.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm bundled up.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: I have like sometimes I'm sitting with a blanket on.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, I don't know what it is.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's still hormones, who knows?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: But do what you have to do to keep yourself comfortable, and especially at night when you're sleeping.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_00: Next thing, and this might sound crazy, but I've said this so many times, and that is that a good night's sleep begins when you wake up.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, what do I mean by that?
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: I mean how you start your day as soon as you get up affects how you're going to sleep at night.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: So some of the best thing we can do is set our circadian cycle.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: The circadian cycle is your sleep-wake cycle.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: It has to do with your cortisol, when your cortisol raises and lowers and the amount of sunlight that you get.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when your circadian rhythm is set properly, your body will start to prepare itself for bed when the sun starts to go down and at the appropriate time.
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so the simplest thing that you can do if you want to improve your sleep and help your circadian cycle is in the morning, and I would love to see it be first thing uh when you wake up, but that's not always possible.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_00: So in the morning, as soon as you can, within the first hopefully 30 minutes of wake, go outside.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_00: And you go outside without sunglasses on, with the sun up in the sky and look, you don't have to look directly at the sun, but look up into the sky, let natural sunlight hit your eyes and stay out there for a couple of minutes.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: While you're out there, do a little bit of movement that wakes your body up as well.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, what you're doing is you're telling your body, this is the start of the day, it's time to wake up, and it will set your circadian rhythm from that cycle and then help your body to prepare with the hormones that need to fluctuate through the day and be ready for sleep at night.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very important thing, and it's such an easy thing, and it has had such an impact on me.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_00: I rarely miss a day of going outside, even if it's raining.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: I throw on my raincoat.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: If it's snowing, same thing.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's something about not just helping me sleep, but it just invigorates me and wakes me for the day.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: I do a little bit of light stretching out there.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_00: More recently, I've been reading my Bible.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_00: I do my Bible reading on my app, and I'll just walk around my yard to get some steps in and get that natural light.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, whatever that looks like, if you can have it stack, you can put some things on on top of it so you're not just standing out there.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: Do your stretching.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Again, start to read your Bible.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: You can take your dogs out, whatever that looks like.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: But getting outside first thing in the morning and moving your body a bit is huge.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now you might go, well, Brooke, we're coming into the winter.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: What's that gonna look like?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because I've ran into that problem in New England.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: The sun is not always up first thing in the morning.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I got myself a little light box.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you want information on that, shoot me an email at Brooke with an E at the end at thestillwellmum.com and I can send you some information on the one I use.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: I got a really small one, you guys.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's compactable.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can't get outside or if I wake up and the sun's not up yet and it's not gonna be up for a while, and I want to set my circadian rhythm, I just want to get things going for the day, I pop that on and I'll put that on in the background of whatever I'm doing for, you know, maybe 10, 15 minutes in the dead of winter.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: If you struggle with like, you know, a little bit of seasonal effective disorder, if you just feel down with the um shorter days and the darker nights and all of those things, you can stand in front of that in the morning for up to 20 minutes, 30 minutes even.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I got a compactable one because this was just sort of me doing like a little hack for myself.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_00: When I travel, which is fairly regularly, if I go to see my kids or my family or what have you, when you're in a hotel room, it's not necessarily easy to get outside first thing in the morning because that requires you being fully dressed and going down the elevator and out the lobby and outside.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I take that with me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's small, it fits easily into my carry-on.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I use that when I get up in the morning to sort of start my day.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I also will tell you that I really try to not get on my phone and look at the blue light of my phone because that's an unnatural light.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so I try not to look at my phone until I've been outside or until I've had my light box on.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I travel, that's a great thing for me to do.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: I can turn that light box on even while I'm brushing my teeth and first getting up before I've turned my phone on.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: I try not to turn my phone on first thing in the morning anyway, aside from using it to read my Bible app just for various reasons.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's a story for another day.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I will say that if you can get natural sunlight in your eyes, even before you start to look at your phone or text or whatever you're doing for the day, checking your emails, it's a really good thing.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: And then to that end, on the other side of it, if you can stop looking at your devices at least an hour before bed, that's a really good thing too, because that blue light from the phones is artificial light and it messes with the circadian rhythm and it can keep you up at night.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I do find that I fall asleep better because you know, sometimes I end up on the phone, somebody texts me, something comes up, I went to look at one thing on social media and now I've been there for 20 minutes, you know the routine.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: And typically when I do that, I don't fall asleep as easily or as deeply.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: So keep that in mind at least an hour before bed.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Now you could also, if you need to be on your device or you want to be on your device, there are blue light blocking glasses that you could purchase.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: And most of them are relatively inexpensive these days, and you can get them on Amazon.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: So that could be a thing if you need to be working or you're texting with somebody or kids or family or whatever the reason that you need to be on your devices, you could use that tool as well.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_00: I do have blue light blocking glasses.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: I used to be full board wearing them all around the house at night.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't use them as much anymore.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_00: I've kind of just cut back a little bit on some of the things because I got so obsessive with it.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_00: But again, these are things where you pick a couple things and see what works for you and things that feel good to you and easy for you to do because again, the thing that works the best is the thing that you will do.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, just keep that in mind.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh to that end with the devices, as we were talking about stopping the devices an hour before bed.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, then, you know, if you're not on your phone for an hour before bed at least, what are you gonna do?
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: I recommend reading.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is a huge, I don't know if you realize this because I didn't until I read about this, that reading actually takes your body out of like fight or flight state and puts you into a rest state.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: It calms your nervous system, it calms down your brain, which is probably why when I get into bed and start reading, I often get droopy-eyed.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, I find that my best night's sleep are the nights that I've maybe had a nice meal, I've talked to my husband, he and I have hung out, talked to AJ, my son that's here, put the phone away and just lay on the couch.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: My husband might be watching sports or whatever else he's watching or doing, something on his iPad.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I just pull up my book, a real like paperback or hardback book with pages, and and just read.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I read for maybe an hour to 45 minutes before I even go up into my room and then maybe read a little bit more there.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the nights that I seem to get into the deepest sleep.
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so, for what it's worth, if you are already a reader, kudos and try to do a little more of that before bedtime.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if not, maybe this is a good reason for you to get started.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, anything, anything works.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I love a good fiction, I love a good story, I love a good rom-com.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: I talked about this last week when we talked about marriages.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: I do not like and I do not advise if you're struggling sleeping, don't read a book that's gonna fill you with angst or like a book that's like a hard read that's about like World War II, because that's that's not comforting and that's not like managing stress, if anything.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: That's just gonna make your head spin and just sit on things.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: So keep that in mind.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe if you're reading at night to relax and to help you sleep better, that you read something that's a little bit light.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: At least that's what works best for me.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing that's really helpful, and this again, how you start your day will determine how you sleep, is the quiet time and meditation with the Lord.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: We have told you guys this many times because it has been the biggest game changer for me over the course of the last year.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean transformational, and I'm not like over-dramatic when I say that.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: It's the 20 minutes of quiet in the morning uh with Jesus.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: It just has, it's changed me.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's calmed me down, it's strengthened my faith, it's helped me to hear from him and feel his presence in a more real way.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's helped me with my thought patterns.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's just incredible what it's done.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I do believe it helps me sleep, just because you're starting your day calmer and you're teaching your body to slow its breath and to calm its mind and to focus on the things above and not the things that we see in this world.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, there's something to be said for even doing that in bed at night.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_00: There was a period of time where I was really struggling where I would do a 10-minute meditation, even with the abide app or the hallow app at night.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: I would just lay in bed and just focus my thoughts on, you know, whatever it was, the peace of God or the Holy Spirit, or just praying, you know, for sleep and just really focusing it on calming my thoughts down.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so that can be very helpful as well.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: Even you don't want to do 10 minutes, five minutes of just laying there and breathing.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's another thing.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_00: Breathing, especially at night before you go to bed, but even through your day can help prepare you because it calms your nervous system down.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: So two quick deep breaths in your nose, and then hold that for a few moments and then breathe very slowly out your nose and continue to repeat that.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: That will calm your nervous system down and help prepare you for bed.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: All these things, and I hope this is not too much or it doesn't feel overwhelming again.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do all of them, but pick a few things, pick even just one thing and see how that works for you.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: I also hold on to and love the scripture uh from Psalms, and I don't have my iPad here with me right now.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I will put where it came from because I need to do a better job of learning the chapters and the numbers.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: I will link it in the show notes, but it's a psalms and it's I will lay down and rest in peace for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: I will repeat that over and over before I go to sleep.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'll even say it in the morning when I'm praying, just to remind myself that God is with me and that I can lay and rest in peace, that I don't have to stay up and I don't have to sit and worry.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's very beneficial too.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_00: At the end of the day, our best help and our best way to get a restful and peaceful sleep is just by relying on and leaning into God.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_00: So keep that in mind as well.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then let's just touch on, well, I want to get to magnesium because that's a really big one.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: But there are two other small things that I do, though, that are very helpful.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: And again, call me a high maintenance sleeper if you want, but these are just things that I have done over the course of the years to improve my sleep and to help with me emotionally, because you know, if you're an anxious person as I am, when you haven't sleeped and you're not well rested, it just makes all of the inner workings of your brain that much worse.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, I didn't want to go the path of medicating to sleep.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so these are just the things that have helped me along the way.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: The so the other two things is I use a sleep mask.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_00: There is something to be said for having complete darkness when you sleep.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that is not always completely possible.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: I have, you know, room darkening shades, but light comes in through the cracks, and you know, there's the little like smoke detector and little alarms and things that would just like little things that beep have a little like light green light or even whatever it is.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's all it's very hard to get a completely pitchback room.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I sleep with a silk sleep mask, which I swear by.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_00: I travel with them, which is helpful too.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because that way, if your husband gets up, he's going to the bathroom or something, you know, you're not disturbed.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I I use uh earplugs.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: I use earplugs as well.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: I started that years ago because my husband snored and it really does help.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so in this, you know, I even have my dogs in my room and they make noise and sometimes they snore.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: So it's just a whole thing.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_00: But earplugs can be helpful too.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_00: So anything you can do to just decrease distractions when you sleep is super helpful.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's let's talk about magnesium because this is if you want to do something or take something naturally that can be a quick fix, something that doesn't require medication, but that is can actually be pretty powerful, man, magnesium is the way to go.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I would recommend you take it at night, 30 minutes to an hour before you go to bed.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: My favorite for sleep specifically is magnesium glycinate.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: It's very, very gentle on your uh digestive tract typically, and it is known for calming down your nervous system.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's, you know, it's a very simple thing that you can do at night.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: I take three capsules, which ends up being about, I think it's like 350 to 400 milligrams, which is the top end of what you want to take daily from magnesium.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so, again, in half an hour to an hour before bed.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I love pure encapsulation.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's my favorite brand.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's super clean, it's not crazy expensive.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: I really love that brand and I really love the magnesium glycinate.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: I travel with it, I take it again before bed every night, and I really, really like it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: There is also magnesium L3-nate, which is known to cross the blood-brain barrier, so it gets magnesium actually to the brain itself and can be very, very helpful with sleep, especially if you have racing thoughts.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_00: It can be a little more expensive than other types of magnesium, so just keep that in mind.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're really having trouble sleeping and you really have trouble with racing thoughts, that might be the way to go.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: There is also magnesium citrate, which can be helpful to sleep, but that can also lend itself to like being a gentle, natural laxative.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are constipated or have trouble moving your bowels, it might be a catch-all for you.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: You take some magnesium citrate to sleep and to help you go to the bathroom.
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you are somebody who has uh some digestive distress, then maybe you stay away from the magnesium citrate because it could stir things up for you.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_00: But overall, I would say if it's for sleep specifically, start with the magnesium glycinate or the magnesium three and eight before you consider citrate.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then lastly, there's magnesium tarate as well, which can be beneficial if you are anxious due to stress or even the heart palpitations due to stress.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_00: And again, if you're experiencing anything with the heart, always check with your doctor first.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: But magnesium tarate could be beneficial for that as well.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: There is also magnesium malate that is probably best for sore muscles and tension and stress in the body.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: But again, my gold standard for sleep is magnesium glycinate and or magnesium three inate.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: So 30 minutes to an hour before bed.
• 39:22
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, here's the other thing about bedtime.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: And something that helps me, and maybe this is not something that you do all the time, but if you're in a particularly stressful season and you just really require some good sleep or you're not getting enough good sleep, if you don't put your phone away for the blue light, put your phone away just because texting before bed is not always a great thing.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing worse than getting like the dramatic text or the, you know, the gossip or the whatever it is.
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, even if it's somebody that needs you, like most of the time those things can wait until the morning.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean you're selfish or, you know, cold hearted, but you know, there's nothing worse than needing to go to sleep and feeling ready to go to sleep and then getting that one text or that one thing that just sends you off the deep end and has you like up, just spinning all night, not all night long and unable to sleep.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: And the fact of the matter is, in almost all cases, there's nothing you can do about it in that moment anyway.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_00: And if you slept well and had a good night's sleep, you'll be able to approach it much better in the morning.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, consider that as well.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_00: For me as well.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I've tried to push this, I just pushed this even last week.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Any type of caffeine after about two o'clock in the afternoon is not a great idea.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_00: Believe it or not, it really can affect your sleep.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: And this might be something so simple, and maybe it's something you all know.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_00: But for that one person that didn't realize it, and I've talked to so many women, like I did not realize that just having that coffee after lunch, that one cup of coffee would affect me so much.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's made all the difference by cutting it out.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_00: And for some people, they're sensitive enough to caffeine that they just have to cut it completely.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, caffeine is a stimulant, it will wake you up in the morning, but if you drink it too late in the day, it can keep you awake.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_00: And even just last week, I happened to be at a cafe with a friend for lunch.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't that late in the day, it was maybe two o'clock, and I had a matcha latte.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: I could not fall asleep that night.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: I was just awake.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I did fall asleep, I was tossing and turning.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's same thing the day before that.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was tired because I hadn't been sleeping great.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, at about two o'clock, I was like, I'm just gonna have one glass of iced tea just to like help me through the rest of this workday.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_00: Same thing.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_00: I was up and couldn't sleep.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And as soon as I stopped that, boom, I fell asleep much easier.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that's just like as much as it's nice to have that afternoon pick me up, and as much as it's nice to even just have that like taste or that little treat, it's not on the back end of it necessarily worth it.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, often if you get a better sleep at night, you don't need that afternoon pick-me-up.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, keep that in mind as well.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other thing is just like I was saying, like, watch the incoming like texts and things like that at night and watch what you're reading, even be mindful of what you're watching at night, you know, hard shows to watch, things that are really stressful, the news, you know, that's the problem with so much TV, right?
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_00: So much of it is violent and just graphic.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_00: And like if you're not sleeping well, that's probably the last thing that you need to be watching before bed.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: So be mindful of that as well.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_00: And also just your activity level and what you're doing.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you can possibly just have the last two hours of just kind of like winding down away from work, away from other things that will keep your mind really active, it can be hugely beneficial with falling asleep.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I know our schedules don't allow that all the time, but when they do, so for example, I noticed again with this Garmin watch that one thing that's been affecting my sleep, and I'm not gonna stop doing it.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's just like, I guess it's just something for me to be aware of and watch that I get a good night's sleep like the night before and then then the nights after.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I joined, as I might have mentioned to you, it was one of the first episodes that I did on like friendship and loneliness in midlife.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I said in that podcast that I was going to try to join a like a Bible study or a women's small group in the fall, and I did.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's a virtual Bible study, but it's been amazing and I've made such great connections.
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's on Tuesday nights at 6:30 at night.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's supposed to run from 6:30 to 8:30.
• 43:21
  SPEAKER_00: Usually we go over till about nine.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's prayer.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of like deep, sometimes intense talking in that group, which I love, which are all good things, and I would not change it for the world, but it definitely impacts my sleep.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_00: And at first I didn't put two and two together.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was watching on my garment when I went to sleep.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_00: I noticed that I woke up the next day and I was tired.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized those nights, like I have trouble unwinding and falling asleep.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_00: I just because my mind's thinking, there's been like stimulating conversations.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_00: So just be mindful of that.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_00: And when you can, choose a schedule that, you know, maybe the smarter thing would have been for me if I could have found it to do a Bible study in the morning.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_00: But I wouldn't pick that anyway at this point because I love the women in my group and, you know, just for numerous things.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: But just be mindful that when you can to slow down that activity.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_00: And for me, I think what I'll be doing is because I need a little extra time to unwind, rather than trying to get myself to my normal bedtime, I might just stay up an extra half hour to an hour just to read a little bit or to talk to Ken or to even maybe watch like a light show just to unwind and decompress so that I don't go to bed.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like the worst thing for me is laying down in bed and closing my eyes and then not being able to fall asleep and tossing and turning.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyway, so that's probably how I'll attempt to combat that.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_00: Keep that in mind too.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you if you're having trouble with like laying down and falling asleep right away, it's okay to spend a little extra time reading a book until you fall asleep.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I hope this was helpful to you.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: I wonder, you know, I'd love their your feedback to see how you all do with sleep, if it's something that you struggle with, if you're mostly good with it.
• 44:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I feel like most of my good friends don't struggle with sleep at all.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'm kind of the oddball.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_00: So that can be um, you know, when you feel like you're on an island, that can be stressful.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: But again, it's just such an important thing.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: And even if you sometimes, you know, you might think you're getting good sleep, but you're not necessarily getting enough deep sleep or REM sleep.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_00: So it might be beneficial for you, even if you think you sleep well, to try some of these habits and just see if they help you in any way.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, the more we do now and every decision and choice we make now will have a say in what things look like for us 10 years, 20, 30 years down the road.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_00: And if we want to live a really healthy and vibrant life, if we want to be productive, if we want to live out the calling that God has on our lives, if we want to serve others well, if we want to show up for our kids and our grandkids, God willing well, one of those factors is sleep and good sleep hygiene and doing that now so that we continue to do that later in life.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's important for our energy levels.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, it's important for our recovery, it's important for our brain health.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's just important for so many things.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's important for our stress management.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, life is messy and life is stressful.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when we sleep better, we handle everything better.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so I hope this was beneficial to you.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_00: I would love for you to write in and let me know what you're thinking if you have any specific questions.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_00: I will link that psalms so you know where to find that.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: If that would be something that would be helpful for you to maybe write on a sticky note and keep next to your bed at night.
• 46:23
  SPEAKER_00: I also have a couple prayers that I keep on index cards that I say at night before bed.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm happy to send those to you if you want.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to email me.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's Brooke with an E at the end at thestillwellmom.com.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, feel free any questions, any thoughts, any feedback, whatever that looks like, I'm always here and happy to help.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I'm doing this podcast.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for the Stillwell Mom community.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for everybody that has reached out and everybody is listening.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you are enjoying the podcast, if it's been beneficial for you, if you would be willing to do two things.
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_00: One is share it with somebody that it might benefit.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_00: That would be huge.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_00: And two is take a moment if you can to rate and review the podcast.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_00: It does so much for me getting more visibility and growing.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: I would so appreciate it.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate all of you who have already done that for me.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so, so much.
• 47:11
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, just remember as we close that you do not have to do midlife alone.
• 47:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can always choose stewardship over striving.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you can be strong in body, steady in mind, and rooted in faith.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.