Latest / Two Girls and a Cup of Wellness / Chronic Stress: The Emotional Weight We Carry with Crissy & Marie | Ep 29
Transcript
- Crissy and Marie: Hello, everyone. Welcome back for another two girls and a couple wellness chats. We got Chrissy and Marie. Hi. I'm a I can't believe that this is our twenty-ninth episode. Is it? It is. It is. That's crazy. I know. So exciting. So exciting. We've had a lot of fabulous guests and I don't know, just twenty nine is also my my angel number that I would do to my best friends. Mom, I always feel her presence. So I wasn't even thinking about like, my gosh, how many episodes have we done? But since it's the 29th, it just kind of like jumped out at me of just like a moment to really reflect of all of the amazing conversations that we've had, either just you and I or with our amazing guests. It's pretty, pretty darn cool. Yeah. Very proud of us. Yeah. So what are we talking about today? Well, today we're gonna talk about stress, and we know everybody has it, but I have a question for you. Yeah. Do you know what the word for good stress is? Because we all talk about the bad stress, chronic stress, and all this kind of stuff. But what's good stress called? I do not know. It's called U stress. U stress. EU stress. you stress. And that's like the stress that you have, think like before a test. You know, you're getting it, it gives you that adrenaline pump up and it actually helps with your cognition and and helps you be clearer. Say maybe if you're jumping on to do a podcast or to do a presentation or something. Like in that matter. And that that's good. That's good for our bodies to have that. It gives you that kick. Like it it's fear, but it's not like fear for your life type of fear. Right. Okay. Yeah. I love you stress. That's your word of the life. Gosh. And and you're like queen of teaching something new. I do like to teach new things. But yeah. But I think most people are familiar with the chronic stress or bad stress and then, you know, all the different things that it does to our body. And I don't know, I was thinking maybe we could start this by talking about a time in each of our lives when we know that stress got the best of us and how you looking back on it maybe, Chrissy, you know that it's affected your health. Well. Yeah, sorry. Just throwing you on the spot. No, all good. I remember back in twenty nineteen, I was taking my father to a doctor's appointment. And God rest his soul, passed away a few months ago. He my father was not always the easiest man. He did not have a lot of patience. he did have some brain damage after a stroke and coma and and paralyzation. So he didn't really grasp onto things as easily as somebody who has kind of more of a a a normal, you know, or healthy brain. And so I was running late. And he was very irritated and got me irritated. And I didn't show up with the type of patience and almost like protection of my own energy that I have in the past and I had been working on. So I just showed up, I got irritated right away. It sparked this ginormous argument, very bad yelling back and forth, terrible things said. He brought me down to a level that I never go to and brought something out of me that number one, I d again, never really went to, but number two, and I don't like to be this this angry and frustrated and you know, things like that. So I we left it. I didn't talk to him for a while. And not to say that this was the cause. but a year later I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And again, it's not to say that that, you know, traumatic situation was the spark, but I do know in that time where I was really frustrated, my nervous system was through the roof. I my immune system was down the drain. Yeah. Right. And I noticed myself getting sick a lot and Not really this was kind of slightly before having all of the tools to really understand my nervous system. I mean, I was teaching yoga at the time, but I wasn't really doing meditation yet. Journaling wasn't really a a a practice of mine yet. EFT tapping, I didn't really know about. So a lot of the things that I put into play now I didn't really utilize then. I didn't have them in my little toolbox. And So I I do like whenever I think of a very stressful time, I do think about that situation. And it probably did you think about it? Like I know when things bother me, I think yeah. You ruminate, you sit and stir and it just doesn't go away and it's so flippin' annoying. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. It goes back and forth. And then you start calling all your friends and your family and yes, telling the situation, the storybook. We've already heard this. Right. Right. Yeah. And you're like, gosh darn, who did I tell? Because you have to tell everybody because it's bothering me so much. Yeah. Yeah. And then just not really being able to pull yourself away from the negativity and the drama. And so yeah, that was definitely a a time in my life that I'm not very proud of. But I want to be open and honest and and share it with everybody because I know it can possibly help someone. Yeah. So I have to ask. And I hope you don't get upset. I would never. But did you ever resolve that with your dad? I did. I did. after a while, really kind of when COVID started and and just before that, I started just okay, all right, I have to call him. I I know I need to call him. So I would call, but it would be very surfaced. And then COVID hit. And I was like, okay, with me and my sisters. I needed to make sure that he was okay. Did he need anything? So little by little outreach and little by little we kind of reconnected. And and then when I was diagnosed, he was very, very upset, very taken back by it and sad that his baby girl was, you know, going through this. And I think that. He has been through a lot or he had been through a lot in his life to now see his daughter go through that was like, yeah. And sorry, little emotional. Good. I like emotions. And that's something I want to talk about in this conversation too is emotions. But yeah, no, there's no questions that are ever off. No, no, off limits. Well. I'm just asking. Yeah. Yeah. No, absolutely. So back in twenty twenty, I was sitting on the beach with a good friend and the kids weren't in school. It was when they still weren't in school and we were just sitting on the beach and I got a phone call from well, I got a phone call in the morning from my dad. Your mom has a really bad headache. She had just had the second or a third vaccination because they were gonna travel over to Europe and she had to have it. So and she I know she didn't want to have it, but this was when we were hearing a lot about the the clotting in the brain and different things happening. So I said he said she can't get out of bed, she has a headache. And I said, Dad, again, I I'm in Florida, you're in Massachusetts. There's nothing I can do. Get her in the car, I'll call my friend. Who works at the hospital and let them know and she needs to get go get scanned. So I'm sitting, I'm not gonna cry. Yeah, yes, cry, please cry. Sitting on the beach, and my dad calls me, all choked up. You know, my your dad's your strong one, right? Yes. All choked up because they found a spot on her scan. And so being in medicine, you go to the worst. Yeah, right. This is it. I'm gonna lose my mom in a couple of months, you know? And and this has got to be the worst type of brain cancer ever. So I freaked out. I felt the earth move. I'm screaming. I'm crying. I had to call my neighbor to come and pick me up because I knew I couldn't drive. And I had extra kids with me and they all jumped in the car with my friend. And I had a flight. I was out on on my way to Boston in three hours. And I sat next to this little adorable lady. I can picture her face. On the jet blue flight, I was right in the front because I got the I was on and I made sure I got the seat right in the front and I was in the middle and I cried to this woman the whole time. She was wondering. And she's like, it's all fine, honey, it's all fine. by the time I landed, her MRI had come back in and it was a meningioma. So I knew, you know, thank goodness. And we have a friend who had the a similar meningioma in the same exact spot as my mom just a few months before. So it's really wild. But you know, we I spent the week there, my brothers flew in. We made sure to get her into one of, you know, the best hospitals in Boston, one of the top brain surgeons. And I'll never forget when I went in to meet him the first time. And he said to her, Where do you put where do you hold your cell phone? Mm-hmm. And I said, Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? And he said, Well, yeah, I just want to know where she holds her cell phone. And sure enough, it was that spot. And he said, You can never Hold your cell phone to your head ever again. Yeah. And I said, Well, where's the research for that? And he You'll never see any. Yeah. Yes. So, anyways, from that point I came back, you know, we were getting ready to, this was in around spring break time. So it must have been March. And we were her surgery was in October. I started having all these stomach problems. Like, absolutely out of control to the point of where I couldn't work. I was in excruciating pain. I wanted to go to the emergency room, but I'm always thinking if it's just full of gas, how embarrassing if like they scan It's a big fart. But I had totally disrupted my microbiome and gave myself probably an ulcer. Yeah. You know, I had to clean my diet up and go on some medication and just clear it. But this is when I really started thinking, wow, my emotions And you I've always known a lot of different things, but when it really happens to you what I've gone through and what my stress and churning and thinking my mom's gonna have to have brain surgery, how that really affected my body. Yeah. It's amazing. Girl, I I I know how stress can wreak havoc in a body. And it is so important. We're we're not getting out of life without stressful situations. It is inevitable. And it's not an if, it's a when. So how important it is for us when being faced with a stressful or traumatic situation, how we really, really need to be honest, vulnerable, and feel our feelings. It's so interesting. That we're actually finally having this talk. We've been wanting to have this talk around stress for a while. And with just life and all of the amazing guests we've had, we're we're just now getting to this. And for me, in my own personal life, it could not be more relevant and and and straight like right in front of me. with my dad's passing a couple of months ago, my mom just passed, literally two months and two days. From when my dad passed. And that was like, that was a shock because she passed in her sleep and just we were devastated and shocked and all of the things. But one thing that I know since my own journey with with breast cancer way back when is that we cannot hold on to these emotions. We have to allow ourselves to feel and to release. And for a ton of people, yeah, and they don't. A lot of people, first of all, will suppress the emotions. They're like, I don't have time for that. I'm too busy. I'm too busy. I just gotta keep on going. Or the qu the the perfect comment of, don't make me cry, right? I'm like, no, we need to cry. We need to make crying and screaming and all of these things more or less taboo, right? And more mainstream to happen. Now, not I'm not saying scream at somebody because they're walking across the street. I'm saying if you're feeling anger, resentment, rage, get in your car and just scream at the top of your lungs. they have those new smash rooms. Have you seen that? Yes, exactly. Go into one of those rage rooms, right? And go throw some stuff. Go take your pillow and maybe scream in your pillow a little bit. I know for me, anger is definitely a an emotion that I do not feel enough. And it's coming up, you know, it's definitely coming up in everything that's been going on these last few months. And I just, I'm doing my things, like I'm being very aware. And one of the things that I want to encourage all of our listeners to do every day is to when you first wake up in the morning before life gets in the way, right? And before all of the things, for me, it just the hand on the heart and the hand on the belly always just takes a moment to like ground you. And if you close your eyes and just kind of do a little self-discovery. Maybe either working from your feet all the way up to your crown of your head or the head down. And just start to kind of notice where in your body do you feel sensation? It could be a heaviness, it could be a lightness, it could be you feel maybe a little blocked or uncomfortable, or your body is just communicating in certain, you know, ways in that area. And just take a moment and ask yourself, what do I need today? And giving ourselves grace to ask our bodies that question and then let the body respond and not your mind. You know, stress we our brains can make up so many other stories and keep you as far away from the present moment as possible. But the the truth of the matter is we're here right now. And so to get grounded in our bodies is to be here right now and not let the brain take over and try to, you know. Agreed. you know, come up with fifty million. So we have to let go and then we have to, I believe, reanalyze the situation and figure out how we're gonna deal with it. Yeah. Right. So if you just say it's something really, really simple and stupid, I the the kitchen being a mess drives me crazy. Yeah. So I know that I need to stop, breathe, and clean it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I can't yell at anybody else. I can't. But also, you know, we we talk about well let's talk about all the different things that can happen. I mean the when you're chronically stressed. And I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a good example. When you work in the ICU, when I worked in the ICU and first started patients would come in, I would have these tall, skinny men having heart issues. They were stressed out in their career, in their job, high stress levels. They looked healthy, but they weren't healthy on the inside. What this does is increases your blood pressure. This this fight or flight type of a mechanism that's consistent, that's not supposed to happen unless you're being chased by the tiger or the bear. So now we're we're creating this elevated. Cardiac risk with the elevated blood pressure, you are have a chronic low grade inflammation. We are messing up our hormones when we do this. A lot of hormonal mess, a lot of stuff then gets deposited towards like cortisol in that constant cortisol release, that stress hormone is good when needed, but not all the time. Right, you can't be walking around. Just real fat. So there's all these different like physiological things that are happening in our body. And all these things together, when you talk about metabolic health, if you're like non-metabolically healthy because of this chronic stress, that is what's going to lead 100% to disease. Yeah. Right. So, I mean, we all know the things to do, but we're going to go over them again. Always. Because these are these pillars of health. Like we think of our health maybe as a big circle and there's all these other little circles in. So the good eating and the adequate sleeping. But I think that one of the best for me for stress is exercise. Yeah. Movement. Two reasons I'm moving my body and I'm getting that out, but I'm also going into my mind too, a little bit, especially with yoga. You know, you like have that time to clear it and then go into it and realize that all the stuff that really bothers you isn't really mattering right now. Right. Absolutely. So that's the thing. It's it's you know, it's gonna be there sooner or later. You can either do things from a like, I can't believe I have to do this, and Bitch about it the whole time and just be like irritated the whole time, which is gonna make a really bad experience. Or you could just say, you know what? Okay, I'm just gonna do it. I'm not gonna attach all these meanings and labels and stories and all of the things to it. I'm just gonna get it done and maybe replace some of that negative talk with a little bit of positivity and just gratitude. my gosh, I'm so grateful that I have a beautiful house that has a ton of dishes because guess what? Then that we're eating and drinking things and nourishing our bodies And we get to clean them. So you could look at it like that. This is my time to just meditate, pray, be thankful for my life as I scrub the crap out of that pan. And I'm mad that my kid left it there overnight when they had their midnight feeding session. That's what teenagers do. But that's how you can also let some of your rage and anger out. It's like really scrape that thing about. But it's important and you need to find your thing. You really do. And I I believe in power of exercise and the power of the mind and meditation, obviously the other things, the other pillars of health, like the healthy eating and stuff. And when you create those good habits, that it just kind of like snowballs. Yeah. I think Kim said that your sister in law once in a class, when you start exercising a lot, the next thing that will happen is the good eating because you're not going to want to go to Chick-fil-A after you went to one of her classes. Right. You want to you wanna feed your body, you know, you're you're actually craving a lot of times when you exercise in a hardcore to exercise like strength or You crave healthier foods. Right. Because you don't want to just undo what you just did. Right. You're you're gonna want to drink more water, not wine or beer or whatever, but more water. And then you're gonna wanna just kind of eat to fill your body, your proteins and your fruits and vegetables and stuff like that. So it is it is so true. and we make better decisions when we are in a less stressed state. One hundred percent. Because our mind is more clear. We're not foggy. And when our brain is stressed and on overload, on overtime, guess what? We're just gonna go grab the quickest and we're gonna stress eat. Yeah, right. Yeah. Everybody says that I'm stress eating. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's just that that whole connection. And I mean, the listening to your body is huge. Listening to what it needs, feeding it what it needs. And you know, if not, you're gonna go down that path of the constant stress, the poor food choices, messing up your microbiome, as we know that that just creates a whole different expression in our entire bodies. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, I think, the thing, you know, everybody, it is imperative to do daily check-ins. And it's not just once in the morning, you know, do it throughout the day of what do I need right now? And and am I aligned with the version of myself that I'm wanting to become? If you are going down this longevity and wellness route, then You getting up in the morning and rushing out of bed and just going right to your phone or going right to the computer to start work, rather than having a morning of slowing down and just kind of like, What do I need? Taking it a little easy. And I know, listen, I mean, life is busy and if you have to work and you have kids, that might not I'm not saying like an hour, but five minutes but while you're brushing your teeth. Like you go outside and look at the sun, like Doctor Simmons said. Like that sunlight and a lot of them, Doctor Mark Hyman, They all talk about that natural sunlight and sometimes I will go outside. I wonder if my neighbors see and I'll brush my teeth and I'll look at the sun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And and waking with the sun too. Right. And kind of having that type of mindset with your your sleep, going to bed or just starting to slow things down and maybe not so much blue light at night. I'm guilty of it. I I'm definitely stuck on those funnies. I'll just sit there and crack up laughing at dogs or silly tricks that wives playing husbands. And sometimes it is a good brain drain, but I really try to take that phone, take it away from me at least two hours before I go to sleep. And and I like a plain old fashioned paperback book. Yeah. You know, the real paper, or even just watching a TV show of my husband. We're not huge T V people, but Yeah, no, we we actually watch shows, but I think there's there's a difference and this is something that I want each of you to be as honest with yourselves as possible. Is when you get into that binge watching TV, which sometimes I do, are you trying to mask something? Are you trying to numb something? And you can even look at it also too for for drinking or drugs or eating, stress eating. If there is some sort of thing that pulls you away from the present moment and you're leaning into it too much to numb something else, whether you're just not wanting to feel sadness or kind of have a conversation with a a difficult situation or sorry, excuse me, a difficult conversation with somebody, right? We can tend to numb and we can just bypass it. So I want you guys to be to start thinking about that daily. What am I numbing? When and where am I numbing life so that I don't have to go through that kind of discomfort of having the conversation or pushing through something or whatever the situation may be for you. Yeah. I think it's a really good first start, you know, for some of people, if you're saying you're wanting to be as healthy as possible, it's not just physically in the body. You also have to be healthy mentally, emotionally, spiritually, whatever that is for you. Right. And it's it's whole health. Yeah. It really is. And it's not always going to be easy. It's you have to work at it every day. Yeah, absolutely. That's but it's a gift. It's really a gift for us to be able to show up for ourselves every single day and meet ourselves where we are and not beat ourselves up if one day you're just feeling really low energy, then guess what? Maybe a yin class or a restorative yoga class or just a gentle walk outside. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I mean, there's it's that check-in. What do I need today? And then not having to bash yourself. If it's not the hardcore get out there and lift heavy weights or go to the CrossFit or go even go to a power yoga class. I think that we need to give ourselves a little bit more grace. Yeah. And whatever that that's going to look different for each and every one of us and each and every day too. And I'm not saying like, okay, so here's another thing. I'm not saying that every day, if strength training is your goal. Goal and that is your your focus. You want to get stronger. But your go-to is to just stretch and breathe. And because you're a little bit more like, I just, I just want to be. But you really want to become stronger, then if that's your goal, then you do have to understand where your mind is trying to say, no, just stay still. You no, you really want the the chill stuff today, rather than pushing yourself. Pushing yourself. Right. So there is that fine line as well. because I know some from myself, I any day I would rather practice yoga than lift weights. But but I think that when you get into that weightlifting routine, for me at least, I crave it. I do now. Right. And now I'm not doing enough yoga and I'm I'm also like, my yoga. Yeah. Well, and and I'm a I'm a Libra, so I love balance. So I really try to balance it out. but for there was many years that I was like, gosh, I gotta go lift weights and I didn't enjoy it. Until I started to really like just say, No, Chrissy, I know it's your brain trying to keep you the same way. So your brain is trying to say, no, just sit and chill, meditate, do this. But my body is really wanting, my body was really wanting the strength training. Yeah. Right. So it's it's kind of finding that. 100% as we age for women. And that's where I think like when we close our eyes and we put our hands on our body and we just take a few deep breaths, we can ask the questions and let the body. Answer, not the brain. Because if you're listening to the brain, you're gonna do everything the exact same because it loves the familiarity, right? But if you listen to your body, your body's gonna be like, no, go for the walk. No, grab those, you know, 12, 15 pound weights, no, go, you know, to the beach and put your feet in the water, whatever it is, right? Like there's just a lot of different things, but just encouraging everyone to just stop and pause and ask your bodies, what do you need today? Right now. I love it. Mm-hmm. All right, guys. Well, this is a nice little quick one. This is a quickie wiki. Yeah. And I'm sure we'll have many more conversations about stress. Yeah, maybe that's a you know, another one too. But technical. But yeah, this one was a kind of fun and light one, which personally right now I'm I'm kind of needing. Yeah. Yeah. And so This is the reminder for you all when you are feeling stress or stressful situations or traumatic situations occur. It is still such a gift to be able to show up for yourself every day and make sure you're aligned with what you are giving to yourself because we can't look outside of ourselves too much. No. Okay. All right. Awesome. Until next time. One love. Bye. Bye.