Latest / Change Your Life with Dr. Amen Kaur / How to Stop Overthinking and Start Creating
Transcript
- 0:00You know you're capable.
- 0:02Everyone around you also knows it.
- 0:04You've proved it.
- 0:06You are someone that problem solves and generates ideas.
- 0:09You're innovative and you want to create something that's yours.
- 0:14You know you're meant to.
- 0:16But something in you, every time you try, you just can't seem to be able to put it out into the world.
- 0:24You're meant to do something different.
- 0:26You're meant to help the world evolve.
- 0:28I really know this time because honestly, it's a place that I felt stuck and frustrated with so many times, because I know I'm doing something really unique, but I can't really package it and put it into words and
- 0:44explain to people what am I doing.
- 0:47And even when I ask my clients, hey, you're tripling your income, you're doubling your income, or you're getting roles that you thought you wouldn't be able to get, or you're getting into relationships, things are really shifting.
- 1:01Some real tangible results.
- 1:03It's incredible.
- 1:05It's a way of life.
- 1:07It's connecting to the creator within you, the power source within you to allow it to guide you to create the life that you're meant to.
- 1:18So today we're going to look at how do we get to that point where synchronicities happen for us.
- 1:26So by the end of this, you'll understand why looking outside of yourself isn't really going to cut it for you.
- 1:33If you're someone that's here to create something unique and you're capable, maybe you're spiritual and you're highly intelligent, you're someone that's analytical.
- 1:45This three layers of noise that stop us from really hearing what it is, that is our next step.
- 1:55One is our body.
- 1:57It's our nervous system, our reactions.
- 2:00You feel it in your body.
- 2:01Another is emotional.
- 2:03Or there's like this thought stream.
- 2:07Each has a name, each has science behind it, and also each is removable.
- 2:15And when we come down to it, they have to complete a cycle.
- 2:20So even if you get the idea it has to become something, it has to be expressed into the world.
- 2:27So you might get the ideas, but you're not able to maybe put it out as a body of work or build that business or create that income stream that you're looking for, that extra income.
- 2:40It's about where you're allowing others to get the benefit from the ideas that you're creating.
- 2:48So stay till the end for the question that replaces, what's wrong with me?
- 2:53Why can't I move on like I used to?
- 2:56And what changes you starting from tomorrow morning.
- 3:01Or maybe if you're listening to this in the morning, let's start today.
- 3:06My name's Dr.
- 3:07Amon Kaur.
- 3:08This podcast is about starting over, but being you.
- 3:13Lesson number one, the first noise is never in your head.
- 3:17It can feel like you're overthinking because you're focusing on the thinking to get that idea.
- 3:24But underneath it is normally a dysregulated nervous system.
- 3:30Basically every single thought you think gets passed through your brain and then your nervous system judges.
- 3:39It is like, well, are we safe?
- 3:41Is this a safe thing?
- 3:42Has this happened when you were two years old and is it safe for you to do now?
- 3:48Are you going to be harmed in any way?
- 3:49Has there been any type of experience that we, we want to avoid?
- 3:54And then you might find that you wake up six o' clock in the morning and you're already like ready to go.
- 4:03And then all of a sudden you feel like, I don't know if this is going to work.
- 4:10Underneath that is the first step, which is the nervous system.
- 4:17It's like this sensation of I feel uncomfortable.
- 4:22It could be that you feel it in your body.
- 4:26That thought of, okay, if I put this out there, you feel this rush in your body of nervousness or maybe a slight bit of fear, or it might be that you feel a lot of fear.
- 4:39You feel, you can really feel it.
- 4:41That's okay because you're more aware of how you feel.
- 4:46You're feeling it more because you've been dwelling in this idea of wanting to start a business, for instance, for maybe two to three to five years.
- 4:55Maybe it's been a ten year plan and it hasn't really got off yet.
- 4:59So you've accumulated quite a bit of fear over time.
- 5:03I remember this feeling quite a lot.
- 5:06Like when I would want to do something like put some content out instead, I'd be like, mom's feeling a bit tired.
- 5:16I think I'm just going to watch something for a little while or I need to gather some ideas.
- 5:21And then I'd be like, oh, you know, I'm not really clear, so I'm not going to create any content for a little while.
- 5:28That feeling is I feel fear that it is, I'm not sure and I think I'm going to get it wrong or it's just not right.
- 5:39So I'm not going to do anything at all.
- 5:41Because really the fear is that vulnerability of truly being myself.
- 5:49What if I put something out there and I'm truly myself?
- 5:52It doesn't resonate with Anyone.
- 5:55It's almost like I'm not good enough then.
- 5:58Because I was really authentic and nobody really got me.
- 6:03Because if I'm vulnerable and that no one gets me, then it's personal.
- 6:09This is where science is really, really grounding.
- 6:12Because it makes us understand that we can observe this situation from a different lens.
- 6:19It's not about me.
- 6:21It's not about me personally.
- 6:23This is the mechanics of how this works.
- 6:26And we get into that observer state.
- 6:29Which allows us to really move through and process the emotions and the nervous system.
- 6:35Then release that layer so that we can be creative under stress.
- 6:42There's a load, the prefrontal cortex.
- 6:44The part, the plans that goes quiet.
- 6:48And then a faster, older circuit takes place.
- 6:52We're all less intelligent when we're stressed out.
- 6:54We're running on hardware that we can't really bring our own flavor to something.
- 7:00Our own personalities to something.
- 7:02We can't really bring our life force to it.
- 7:05It's quite common when we start any project.
- 7:09That we start with some level of anxiety.
- 7:12Because we don't know what's going to happen.
- 7:15So when we don't know what's going to happen.
- 7:18It's very normal for the brain to go, hey, we don't know.
- 7:22This is an unknown.
- 7:24So we need to proceed but very cautiously.
- 7:26We're on more of an alert state at that point.
- 7:32And it is normal when you start something new.
- 7:35That you aren't going to feel safe doing it because it's new.
- 7:39The key here is if you're someone that is meant to create something and put it out into the world.
- 7:45Is to know that we're not waiting for the absence of anxiety or fear or feeling uncomfortable.
- 7:53What we want to do is hold our system open enough to not slam us shut from moving forward.
- 8:01We don't want it to put a barrier in place that we're unable to move through.
- 8:08What we want to do is help and understand the nervous system.
- 8:13To tolerate that feeling.
- 8:17Rather than believe it's like a personality trait.
- 8:20Sometimes people say things like, oh, I'm depressed, or I have anxiety.
- 8:26Maybe I'm numb.
- 8:28It's a state that you are in.
- 8:31But it's normal to feel that state when you're on that path.
- 8:37Or you're wanting to do something that is really authentically you.
- 8:42Like you're putting yourself out there and you're going to do something that's truly creative.
- 8:48It's quite common to feel some of those feelings.
- 8:52But we are aware enough of our nervous system that we can work with it.
- 8:58And Help it and support it so it doesn't stop us from taking that next move forward.
- 9:06Let's go to lesson number two.
- 9:08The next one is the unfelt emotion.
- 9:12And sometimes it's is the felt emotion because it feels so overwhelming that you can't tolerate it as well.
- 9:21Sometimes we're either numb or we're overwhelmed, and sometimes we pivot from both.
- 9:27We're feeling numb and then all of a sudden we start crying and we're trying to hold our emotions in so then we can't hear what the universe is asking us to do.
- 9:40What is it that I'm meant to do?
- 9:42You're meant to do something, but you can't hear it, you can't sense it.
- 9:49You could be someone that's highly competent.
- 9:52Every single day you go to work, you hold a really senior role.
- 9:57I have clients, they hold senior roles.
- 10:01And the truth is they're either holding their emotions in when they're at work, they're doing their work and they're high functioning and they manage all their emotions.
- 10:12They might have huge amounts of grief, they might have huge amounts of sadness.
- 10:17They might be living at home with a toxic person, or at work, they're dealing with toxic environment.
- 10:23They might have trauma from the past that they haven't actually released or even looked at ever.
- 10:30But they're highly successful.
- 10:32But then when they come to put their dream out into the world to create something that's uniquely theirs, something that is incredible, that is them, they find that there's a block, they could potentially work for other people, but
- 10:49they find there's a block in doing something themselves completely and getting all the credit for themselves.
- 10:57And then there's those people that have the brilliant ideas.
- 11:01They are connected.
- 11:02They can feel they're meant to do something and they get diverted by what everybody else is doing.
- 11:08So they start doing competitor analysis.
- 11:10They start looking at what everybody else is doing, looking at funnels, looking at processes, looking at this, looking at that, and realizing that maybe that original idea isn't good enough.
- 11:22So.
- 11:23So they don't start.
- 11:24So they get stuck in that whole process of just looking at everybody else.
- 11:30But you're unique.
- 11:31There's nobody else out there like you.
- 11:34Nobody.
- 11:35And why would we ever look at anybody else's work?
- 11:38When.
- 11:39When you have something so unique that you were meant to do, that is the truth.
- 11:46You have a different perspective.
- 11:48You were given such unique, important talents and skills that you are meant to put out into the world like nobody else is meant to.
- 11:58You're the only one that can do it you're the only person that can create what it is that you're meant to create.
- 12:07And by going down that route of looking at what others are doing, we start getting into comparison and competition without even realizing you might not even be that type of person.
- 12:18But it pulls us into comparing ourselves and thinking that maybe it's not right if you're creative, if you're in innovative, and you have come on this earth to create something that's so unique, to help humanity in a certain
- 12:33way.
- 12:34Because we're going for a major, major shift right now because of AI, there's a lot of people awakening as well, spiritually right now too.
- 12:43So if you're meant to do something that's truly unique, then there's nothing else out there that you can look to.
- 12:52Maybe it's something completely new that you're meant to bring into the world.
- 12:57So now let's look at the science behind that.
- 12:59When it comes to the emotions, emotions are the brain's predictions built from body signals.
- 13:06Unread signals do not just disappear.
- 13:09They get louder and vaga.
- 13:13And they can be experienced as fog, irritability, flatness.
- 13:18You know, when you just don't feel alive anymore.
- 13:22And interoception research shows that you can read your own internal signals.
- 13:28It can be measured, it can be trainable, and it actually helps you make decisions.
- 13:35You feel it, Hey, I know this is right for me.
- 13:39Most of us know what doesn't work.
- 13:42Like, sometimes you've got two dishes, say, and you might know, I really like this.
- 13:49And no one on the earth can argue with you and say, no, you do not like that dish.
- 13:55Unless you're dealing with someone that is highly controlling, they're going to tell you what you do and don't like.
- 14:02But you know yourself through your experience what it is you like.
- 14:10And the truth is no one can tell you otherwise.
- 14:15Nobody can tell you what it is that you are or aren't meant to do.
- 14:20What is the right or wrong thing for you to do.
- 14:23Only you know it.
- 14:26Throughout my whole life, the most important thing I have been learning is, and it's taken me a long time to learn this is that.
- 14:35First, let's start with that feeling, what feels good to me.
- 14:40And later, the analysis comes in first.
- 14:43It's always, okay, how does this feel?
- 14:46It feels like I'm being guided here.
- 14:50Like there's too many synchronicities, there's too many.
- 14:53This can't be coincidence.
- 14:55The amount of times from, for instance, I was talking to a client and I was saying to her, look, I have a feeling that look for a job nearby.
- 15:04She was looking for a job and she was telling me that there's no jobs because of AI and it's gonna be really, really hard for her to get a job.
- 15:11And I started saying to her, look, look for a job closer to home or where you're gonna move.
- 15:16I've just got a feeling.
- 15:18And that night she looked for a job close by.
- 15:23And just today she called and left me a message saying, I'm so grateful I got the job.
- 15:30And it's utterly incredible.
- 15:32Like she was just laid off.
- 15:33It was complete, I think it was on Monday.
- 15:37And by two days later, she's got a new job.
- 15:42You know, literally.
- 15:43She'd been going through the interview process before the layoff was finalized.
- 15:47But yeah, she's.
- 15:49She's not been unemployed for more than one day.
- 15:53It's brilliant.
- 15:55What happens when we can actually tune into our feeling is incredible.
- 16:02Not only is it of benefit for yourself in terms of you being able to guide what it is that you're going to do, you can help and support other people, but knowing that it's just a feeling you're getting
- 16:16and that they have their own feelings and they have their own guidance system that will help and support them ultimately.
- 16:24But you can say you're feeling, but you know, at the same time, it's not like they have to follow what you're saying because ultimately the best guidance system is them.
- 16:36But when there's synchronicities, when there's three or four things happening at the same time, where you might be getting something on your scrolling and a message comes up and then you get a phone call from somebody you love
- 16:47and they say the same thing and then someone else says the same thing, then you go, oh, there's a message here.
- 16:53Understanding how you feel is so important.
- 16:58It's more important than the voices of other people.
- 17:02Because without knowing how you feel, we will second guess ourselves is probably the most important thing to practice as someone that is going to create something.
- 17:13It's a skill you want to train.
- 17:15But it's not just about making a difference to the world.
- 17:18It's about a way of life.
- 17:20If you can feel your way, you can get out of a traffic jam, you know, you'll get this sense, this guidance of, no, I'm going to go this way.
- 17:29I'm just getting called to do that.
- 17:31I'm going to follow it.
- 17:32One of the things that are really important in reading data is, is that you knowing when you've got A yes and a no.
- 17:39I'm gonna go with my yes because my own body is pointing me in that direction.
- 17:45The third noise is the voice in your head.
- 17:50And honestly, that voice in my head, it just keeps going on and on and on and on.
- 17:56The first, it's so convincing to us because we think, if we think it, it must be true.
- 18:02But it's the storyteller.
- 18:04It's like a storyteller, it can tell you stories that have happened 10 years ago and it keeps going on about the same story.
- 18:11Sometimes it might have happened last week and it just keeps replaying.
- 18:15And it will invent an explanation so that you can manage what happened.
- 18:21And it can invent that explanation and you can repeat that for the rest of your life.
- 18:26But the two hours you spent researching what everybody else is doing, say for instance, it can feel like work, but it doesn't produce a result.
- 18:39Meanwhile, an actual idea can arrive in the shower, or you'll go for a walk, or you just before you go to sleep, or you're doing something else.
- 18:48You're allowing yourself as long as you're present in this moment, well, you're not trying to think of what it is that you're meant to do.
- 18:58You're actually being you.
- 19:00You're present.
- 19:02You're allowing yourself to connect with the universe, for instance, and allowing an answer to come to you that's specific to you.
- 19:13The science in this is that aha moments arrive through a measurably different neural route in the brain than step by step reasoning.
- 19:25They arrive in defocused, settle positive states, your default mode network.
- 19:34Research shows that idea generation runs on the brain's internal spontaneous system.
- 19:41And the executive system comes online second.
- 19:45So first the idea, it just comes out of nowhere almost.
- 19:49Then second, you can use the thinking after to evaluate and structure it.
- 19:58The thinking must come to structure it afterwards.
- 20:02First, you get the idea.
- 20:04Second is the strategy.
- 20:06That's the order in peer reviewed records.
- 20:11So why do we start the other way around?
- 20:13I mean, I can't tell you how many times I've done so many different business plans over the years.
- 20:19And I'll be honest, in all those 20 years of business plans, even though we created an incredible business, we never really followed the business plan for the year anyway.
- 20:32When something odd happens, we can invent a story that explains it.
- 20:36For instance, if you've been in a toxic relationship or you feel these emotions, and then we spend the rest of our life thinking about why did that happen?
- 20:49How did that happen?
- 20:51What's confirmed is that A Stanford neuroscientist said that the voice that we're hearing is not actually reporting all the facts.
- 21:02It's like a novelist.
- 21:04In fact, our brain can even change memories, hence why there is such a thing as gasling, because our memories can be altered.
- 21:14Of what did happen, Einstein's evidence.
- 21:18He was surveyed by a mathematician on how did he actually think?
- 21:24Einstein wrote that his productive thinking ran on a combination of images and even bodily sensations, and that words and logic entered only at the second stage after the insight had formed.
- 21:42So even with scientists, some of the most incredible breakthroughs in science have come from insight, have come not from thinking, but from something else.
- 21:56And this was verified in 1929 when Einstein said imagination is more important than knowledge because knowledge is limited.
- 22:06And that's true, right?
- 22:07Because if you think about it, science is constantly helping us understand more and more about what is life, what is consciousness.
- 22:17We're learning more and more even about the brain.
- 22:20Your thoughts, what you're hearing in your head, are not you.
- 22:25And they repeat themselves.
- 22:27And they sometimes are not working in your best interests.
- 22:32Let's be honest.
- 22:33If you hear some of the thoughts that I hear sometimes, which is like, maybe I'm not good enough, will anybody even be interested?
- 22:43You have to learn.
- 22:44I'm just gonna ignore that person because they don't.
- 22:48I've got enough facts now, time and time again, that people really change it.
- 22:56This really works.
- 22:58So then I don't need to listen to this.
- 23:01Your thoughts that repeat, sometimes they're not working at your best interest.
- 23:09And you are the one who sees the thoughts.
- 23:13You can decide not to listen to them.
- 23:17Total focus during work.
- 23:20Be totally present so you don't think.
- 23:24To stew over a problem is not the way to solve a problem.
- 23:28It never works.
- 23:29Trust me.
- 23:30I have tried it sometimes for years.
- 23:34But to defocus is not a break from the work.
- 23:39It's like you're actually giving yourself a chance to do the work.
- 23:43And if you can release the nervous system layer, the emotional layer, and then you get to release the stories and the thinking layer, you can access your presence and connect with that field that Einstein was talking about.
- 24:01The thing is, we have to strip away everything.
- 24:05We're living in a materialistic environment, let's face it, right?
- 24:10And sometimes we get ideas and ideas and ideas.
- 24:13And I could do this, and I could do this.
- 24:15And what we want to do is not gather more ideas.
- 24:20We want to strip back as many of those ideas away, away, away, away, until you feel like everything is gone and there's no more noise and you can really see yourself.
- 24:37What are you here to do?
- 24:40What is it that you are meant to do?
- 24:42It's a process where we have to release the layers so we can see and hear what it is that you're meant to do.
- 24:51And when it comes, it feels so natural because it's you.
- 24:55What's unnatural is having these layers right now where you can't hear you, you can't sense what it is that you're meant to do and you can't put it out there.
- 25:05We need to get to your soul, what, what is unique about you, and then take the actions to do it.
- 25:14So what can you do right now?
- 25:16First, allow yourself to just enjoy moments and start enjoying creativity itself.
- 25:28Start creating, start engaging with it, being you're allowed to be creative.
- 25:36If you are worried about responsibilities and deadlines, et cetera, it actually stops us from being creative.
- 25:44That's the truth, because it's triggering a different part of the brain.
- 25:50We are all responsible people.
- 25:51We have things to do.
- 25:53We want to take away as much pressure from ourselves so that we can get into that creative zone to connect.
- 26:02So allow yourself moments of getting away from, from the noise.
- 26:08So give yourself some time to go for that walk, get into nature and experiment.
- 26:14Just small things like it might be that you've had this idea of.
- 26:20You might decide you want to sell some coloring books, then start something, just put it into action.
- 26:28And as you go through this, you might find that actually, you know what, I don't really want to do that.
- 26:34And that's okay because now you know what you don't want to do sometimes.
- 26:39So you're taking another layer away, you see, until you're stripping that away until you can get to who you are.
- 26:48Sometimes you just need to find someone to work with.
- 26:50And the thing is, when someone else sees you, it is so much easier for other people to see you that have a trained eye.
- 26:59Then you can see yourself.
- 27:02You just need someone to say, help me strip away all these layers so that I can see what it is that I've come here to do.
- 27:11Overcome these limitations that I have of putting it out into the world.
- 27:16The body noise, the emotional static, the thought stream underneath all of three of these.
- 27:23The one who sees the one the ideas arrived to.
- 27:28It never left.
- 27:30It was just obscured like the sun and some clouds.
- 27:36And this is why comparison's never gonna work.
- 27:39Because there's nothing to compare to.
- 27:42You've got.
- 27:43There's no one else out there like you.
- 27:45When we go out wood looking we're looking for something that isn't out there.
- 27:52It's inside.
- 27:54If we don't have to worry about everybody else's rules, then we can actually connect with our own inner guidance within ourselves.
- 28:06If we don't have that conditioning, saying, hey, you're not allowed to be you, or you can't express yourself, or you can't do it by yourself, whatever it might be, once that conditioning is gone, then it's easy to put
- 28:23yourself out there, because it's the joy of just creating.
- 28:28So the question stops being like, what's wrong with me?
- 28:31And becomes, am I allowing myself to actually be myself and to put something out there that I would love to hear or see or experience myself?
- 28:43So, for instance, if you're an artist, do the work that you love doing.
- 28:49Don't worry about who you're selling it to.
- 28:52And as soon as you do that, all the love for what you're doing, your passion goes into that.
- 28:58And then people will buy it because they can sense that there's an energy behind it, and it's unique.
- 29:07It's the unique expression of you, that creator within you.
- 29:13So.
- 29:14And if you are interested in getting somebody to support you through that process, there's nothing more I love doing than stripping things back, getting rid of all those layers of conditioning so that you can truly step into your
- 29:31greatness and put it out there, what you uniquely came here to do.
- 29:37If that is something that interests you, then the first place to go is the free masterclass.
- 29:43I'll put it in the show notes.
- 29:45If this is something you feel that somebody else would really help them, just take that next step and understand, okay, these are the three things that are holding me back right now, and I can do something about it
- 29:58to create the life that I want.
- 30:00Then please send this to that person.
- 30:03You know who that person is.
- 30:05I'm sending you so much love.
- 30:07Till next time.