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How to Have Fewer Days That Suck! · To Your Good Health

0:00
David Friedman, BS: Hello, This is Dr.
0:00
David Friedman, host of TE Get Health Radio.
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Do you find yourself waking up dreading the day ahead?
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Maybe it's the never ending stress or that giant to-do list, or
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you're just stuck in a boring rut.
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We've all been there.
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Today's guest has been there too, but at her very lowest point,
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something profound happened.
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She realized that happiness.
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Isn't something that only lucky people experience, it's a choice,
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a decision that you can make.
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Starting today, she turned her breakthrough into a movement, a toolkit,
0:34
and an award-winning book that's changing lives across the country.
0:39
Deborah Mallow, author of Six Steps to Fewer Days That Suck is in the House And
0:44
the Optimistic Party starts right now.
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Our next guest is often called a ray of sunshine, and it's easy to see why.
1:03
She's a positivity strategist, mindset coach, motivational
1:07
speaker, and award-winning author.
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After earning a degree in Textile design and business from Syracuse University,
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she built a thriving design and licensing company, and she then made a
1:18
bold pivot into biotech pharmaceutical sales where she became the number one
1:23
ranked sales rep at Johnson and Johnson.
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But it was navigating her own personal trials and tribulations
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that became her greatest teacher.
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Instead of letting life challenges still her joy, she channeled that
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experience into the daily decisions, a self-improvement toolkit that helps
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people retrain their brain, approach life differently and find more joy.
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She shares her message of resilience, self-kindness, and substantial
1:49
happiness, and print media, tv, radio, and podcast across the country.
1:54
Welcome to the show, DEET Mallow, author of Six Steps to Fewer Days That Suck.
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Ditch Unhealthy Habits.
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Unzip a Happier You.
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Deborah Mallow: Thank you, Dr.
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Friedman.
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It's such a pleasure to be here.
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I'm such a fan, so talking to you in-person.
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Wow.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah.
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I'll tell you, of all the guests that I've interviewed, you have
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what every person listening right now desires, fewer days that suck.
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So first, share what inspired you to write this book.
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Deborah Mallow: Well, there I was standing on a New York City subway platform
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running to the next sales call, and all of a sudden even though it isn't a big.
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Change.
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I realized if I don't change something, nothing will ever change.
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And I was burnt out.
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I had lost my joy and I said to myself, what's the point?
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I could win and win and win and win every single sales award, but if I'm not happy.
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And then the people around me are affected by that.
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What good is it?
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So I made the shift.
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I made the change.
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It takes a lot of effort, it takes determination.
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But the great thing is we control our thoughts, our actions, our perspective,
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our words, and how we talk to ourselves.
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So that's what I set out to do.
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Dr.
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Friedman and I did it.
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I really.
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Did it took time, but I did.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, that's great and you did such a great job.
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I know your Bookshare is six really simple steps to rise above
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that mundane and unhappy life.
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And can you share a couple with us and how we can start implementing those today?
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Deborah Mallow: Well, absolutely.
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I wrote the book, as you know, in double pages.
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I didn't want anything overwhelming.
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I didn't want a lot of graphs and charts.
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I just wanted prompts, simple strategies.
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Action items, little things, little shifts we could do.
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Starting today, I read about people that inspired me and actually got through
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their problems and troubles and came out the other side and I read about
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the science, the why we do what we do.
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So I started with.
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The decision I call my brand the Daily Decisions, because it's our choice.
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Change begins the moment you choose it.
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And then I went through ditch unhealthy habits because we need
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to clear the physical, the mental, the emotional clutter, because
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let's face it, the sunshine can't get in if the windows are dirty.
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Right?
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And then I go into the mindset.
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Step three, the action, the attitude, the commitment.
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And each double page just has little things that we could do
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that we all struggle with, like walk away from negativity or the
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procrastination that manage stress, welcome, calm, and life is messy.
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Nothing is.
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Easy.
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There's no magic bullet, but we can make those decisions for ourselves
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to make little shifts at a time.
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Not big, massive overhauls, the little shifts, because our brains thrive on
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patterns, And the more we create these positive patterns, the more they'll stick.
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And I say that you don't discredit the strategy until you try it.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, so true.
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I know one of my favorite simple tips of yours is just look in the mirror
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and smile, and it may sound cheesy, but research shows that the brain
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can't distinguish between a fake smile.
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And a real one, a forced smile actually releases dopamine.
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Serotonin reduces stress and it lowers your heart rate.
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But Deborah, for someone going through a difficult time, that mirror can
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be pretty hard to face sometimes.
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How can they start turning things around when smiling feels like a stretch.
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Deborah Mallow: I totally understand because I was there.
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I was in the muck.
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I really empathize, and that's why I started this.
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That's why I decided to publish the book when it really was only for me because
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so many people are stuck in their own minds in the circular thinking, so.
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That's why I say Dr.
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Friedman little shifts at a time.
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You can't try to do everything, but you can do little things for yourself.
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So once you are about to go down a rabbit hole, make that shift say
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to yourself, I'm going to flip the script and turn whatever it
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is that's bothering you, distract.
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Find something else to do to.
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Make yourself feel better.
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Even just a small movement.
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You know, when we get stressed, it's little things we could do
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to pause, to reflect, to bring in gratitude and appreciation.
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And I know that that sounds when you're really stuck and you're not feeling.
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Good about yourself.
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I know that sounds overwhelming, but once you start to do it, the wonderful
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thing is about accomplishment.
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Is accomplishment boosts our confidence.
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So once you make these little wins.
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They build on themselves, and that's why I always say, don't discredit
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the strategy until you try it.
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We need to give ourselves grace.
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We need to be kinder to ourselves, to accept ourselves, even in the moment.
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Give yourself a hug.
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That hug.
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Relaxes and makes you calmer and it releases oxytocin,
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which is a feel good hormone.
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It's all these little things we can do.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah.
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I love that you brought up being overwhelmed because
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I think that's a big issue.
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I remember my mom, when I was a kid, I was overwhelmed, had a lot of stuff to do, and
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she says, uh, how do you eat an elephant?
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I go, I'm not gonna eat an elephant.
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She said, yeah, but if you're hungry and that's all you eat, how do you eat it?
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And I said, how?
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And she said, one bite at a time.
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I And you'll get through the, I'm like, wow.
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And I'll tell you that little advice is stuck with me, and I'll have
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this to do that And that deadline, And this some CPA wants to, and
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I go, how do you eat an elephant?
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And it really calms me down.
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So I love that.
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it's just baby steps, you know?
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They wins the race.
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And one thing that your book talks about is ending self sabotage.
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Why do you think so many people unconsciously get in their own way?
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Deborah Mallow: Because we just don't allow ourselves to, as
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I say, give ourselves a hug to appreciate ourselves and.
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Well, I think many times we don't mean to harm ourselves, but what we're doing
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by the circular thinking or thinking that other people are judging us when
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they're really too busy worrying about themselves, or we want to accomplish
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something, but we procrastinate.
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I just think we just need these little strategies to do things.
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Simply little steps again, and I keep coming back to that because
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not trying to do everything at once, like you said, one bite at a time.
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And that's where I think the self-sabotage comes.
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We get so overwhelmed that we let everything affect
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us, impact us, make us feel.
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Less than, And that stops us from moving forward.
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And that's what I try to help people do is just little steps
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to move forward to build these accomplishments so that we feel better.
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'cause once we feel better, the saying goes, when you feel better, you do better.
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And that really is true.
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And I always say to myself.
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because we all have these moments where we can go negative or we could circular
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think or we could worry about things that are really never going to happen.
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But if we're able to just.
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Pause, reflect, and stop ourselves from doing that.
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It really makes all the difference.
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Build these accomplishments, build our confidence, build our resilience,
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knowing that we can get through it.
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Like I said, life.
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We'll be messy and nothing is perfect, but it's how we sort of push through and how
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we give ourselves grace in order to do it.
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Not to put so much pressure on ourselves to stop and calm down, to distract and
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do something else to reward ourselves when we do something that's really good.
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Rather than saying like I used to do.
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I wouldn't focus on all the 10 fantastic things I did in a day.
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I focused on the things that didn't meet my expectations
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when it should be the reverse.
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Make yourself an accomplishment jar.
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See how wonderful you really are.
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I'm not saying to.
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think the world of yourself and not think about other people.
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But when we feel good about ourselves, that's when we can
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be there for other people.
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We're not going negative.
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Who wants to be around people that are negative all the time?
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And you know, Dr.
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Friedman, the study show that when we care for ourselves, we focus on our wellbeing.
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When we let positive emotions Take over and become part of our every day.
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When we have good social connections, we're happier.
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And the studies show that happier people live longer and negativity can really
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exacerbate and make your health worse.
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So think about that.
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What serves you?
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I always say, when I need to calm down, does this serve me?
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And that just stops me.
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From going further and going down a rabbit hole, it really does work.
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David Friedman, BS: So true, and I just thought of so that I don't think
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there's ever been a study showing out there that people that laugh and
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have fun are having a heart attack during that time, but there sure are
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when they're stressed and pissed off.
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Deborah Mallow: Right, right, right.
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And it doesn't serve us.
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And I know in the moment, 'cause I used to be that person, Dr.
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Friedman, I would get angry.
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I know now you wouldn't believe it because I really have changed.
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'cause it doesn't serve me.
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I would get angry at the drop of a dime and who did that hurt?
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Who does it hurt?
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So now I pause and I think first, or I distract and do something else.
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So the anger or the frustration doesn't take over because it doesn't help.
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It might hurt other people, but really people just walk away.
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So you really need to protect your energy.
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It's all about protecting our energy.
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David Friedman, BS: That was the same way I discovered that,
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rule I live by is if you can't change it, don't stress about it.
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Traffic can't change it.
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Why scream and yell and honk your horn plane being canceled can't change that.
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Why piss off and make your face red and And You know what?
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85% of my problems disappeared when I said, you know what?
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I can't change that.
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Why?
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Let it steal my joy?
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And I love that.
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Sounds like what you did.
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As you realize, you're in your own world of, changes that you
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can make, and that's enough.
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Deborah Mallow: and everybody really, we all are capable.
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Like I said, we can't change what other people are going to do.
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We can't.
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Do that, but we are in control of our emotions and I know that's difficult.
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I really do empathize.
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But again, keep going back to the small shifts, the little changes over time that
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create these positive habits that stick.
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And you've done it.
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I've done.
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People I coach have done it.
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It's really doable, but you have to focus on it.
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It's not easy work, but it's, for us, that's the best part of it.
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It's for us.
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It makes life better.
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David Friedman, BS: Sure does.
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You there's a saying I love.
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It says, A ship at sea never develops barnacles, but one
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sitting idle at the dock will.
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And one of the greatest silent destroyers of happiness is stagnation.
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And you know, every day looks exactly like the last, And we stop
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having things to look forward to.
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Yet so many people stay stuck because the unknown scares them.
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How do you help people push past that fear and shake off their barnacles?
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Deborah Mallow: Exactly.
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We have to push past the fear.
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And that's really, difficult, but once you do it these accomplishments, once
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you push past the fear and you see.
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That's resilience, right?
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You see that you're able to actually overcome and you feel better when you
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well, you talked about this before.
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You get out of the comfort zone,
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right?
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And that comfort zone.
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Let's face it.
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It's really not comfortable.
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It really stifles us.
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So being able to overcome our fears and of course fear is also There's
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reasons for fear And it's, it's good in its own way where it protects you from
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danger, but many times it's just our mind talk, talk, talking, and it's the
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stories we tell ourselves that Stop us.
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That's what we want to push past because it's not serving us the fear.
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And is it easy?
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No, but pushing past our comfort zone and actually coming out the other end
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and finding our resilience, building our confidence, lets us do it again and again.
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It's just.
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Taking the leap.
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That's the way I say I have those callouts in my book.
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Flip the script.
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take the leap, ditch the habit.
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It's these little things.
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If we just say these few words to ourselves, It stops us from going
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down as I keep calling it a rabbit hole because it's not serving us.
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And we all want to enjoy our lives.
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We all do.
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So it's up to us to make these shifts, to
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, I, I love the acronym for fear false Evidence.
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Appearing real.
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And like you said, that's in your mind.
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A lot of That is just like, you know, you get through it, you go, oh, that
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wasn't so bad, but you went through it.
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A lot of people said it's going to be so bad and they don't try it.
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That's the difference.
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The other side of fear is usually relief.
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Like, wow, I got through that.
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And if you don't push your boundaries we're stagnant, like you said.
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And then there's the barnacles.
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So well said there.
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And one thing that you really, an advocate of is starting your
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morning with the right tone.
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You're saying that it sets everything to follow, yet so many
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people reach for their phone.
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First thing, they dive into the doom and gloom news, social media.
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This is a guaranteed recipe for stress and negativity, and you know what?
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It steal their joy.
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What are some simple habits people can adopt to start their
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mornings on a more positive note?
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Deborah Mallow: Absolutely.
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And what I like to.
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Do, of course you can switch it up so that it, becomes fresh.
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But I like to smile at myself because smiling, as we said, it makes us feel good
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and I like to, again, give myself a hug.
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I say positive things.
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I look at the positive things ahead during the day, It just sets it up, right?
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Of course.
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It's very important also to eat protein, healthy fiber, things like eggs or
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avocado, yogurt, things that are going to make us feel good, not sugary drinks
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or things that can make us sluggish.
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And also, and I know it's hard for some people to get a good night's sleep,
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that also helps set up the day, right?
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But.
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Saying positive things because you know, Dr.
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Friedman, there's that cortisol awakening response that happens
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30 to 45 minutes after we wake, And it's what makes us alert.
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But if we're stressed, if we don't have like a positive morning
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plan, if we feel that panic.
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It gets even more intense.
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So what we need to do is to calm the cortisol spike and.
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Manage it so that we set the day off right?
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Because when you start the day on a more positive note, you're more apt to finish
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the day on a more positive note, you are there, in the present moment to be
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with other people, to make things right, to get your tasks, whatever you need.
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Done.
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So it's really important to start the day off on a positive note, however
18:46
you want to do the morning routine.
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Some people like to stretch.
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Movement is really good too for alleviating stress.
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David Friedman, BS: Yeah, so basically stay away from the doom and gloom news.
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First thing, like you said, that cortisol, you look at that and it's.
19:02
Like who's bombing?
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Who, who's this, that?
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And you know what?
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That sets the tone.
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and that's how you start.
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So as you and me are big fans of comedy, look at something funny in the
19:10
morning, read something motivational positive, Look at the news later.
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But man, that first thing in the morning, so crucial.
19:17
And I love how you say you gotta wake up your morning and, and, make a point then.
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'cause you know what, if you started off bad, it's not gonna get any better.
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You started off wrong.
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You can alter that.
19:25
So I love that advice.
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One thing is you've laid out, so these great easy steps that anyone can follow.
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No excuses, no complicated systems.
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I love that.
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But the problem is procrastination.
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It's real, it's ruthless.
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And there are 365 tomorrows in a year.
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And most people, they find a way to use every single one of them.
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How can people get off that hamster wheel?
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even if it's a simple book, you'd be surprised how many people put
19:48
it on the, bookshelf and they don't even take the time 'cause they're.
19:51
I hate using the word lazy, but they put off what they need to do.
19:54
What can we do?
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Deborah Mallow: I don't even think it's lazy as much as I think it's overwhelm.
20:02
I it's just the idea of starting.
20:06
I love this quote.
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The start is what stops most people, right?
20:11
So what I find is, it's small steps.
20:16
So I break things down into small steps, small things that I need to do.
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That's how I even write a to-do list.
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Not everything all at once.
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And.
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Especially if you have a big project you're doing, break that down too,
20:31
because it really helps to be clear on what you're doing And then just.
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Say 1, 2, 3, starting now.
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That's what I do.
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Or, rolling.
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And action.
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And just start.
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Stop thinking about it.
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Thinking about it.
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And circular thinking is not going to get it done.
20:52
And then it's like Parkinson's law, right?
20:56
That We use all the time we have for a project And we get
21:00
it done at the last minute.
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Well, rather than that, tick off the little tasks at a time to be able
21:07
to get things done and stack them.
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And then in between reward yourself when you actually accomplish the
21:15
task before going on to the next one.
21:19
And as you see these accomplishments build that.
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Helps push us forward.
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That's what leads to the success at the end of the year, and that's why
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I say it's really good to have an accomplishment jar so that you can
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see, you can actually read what you've actually done And that pushes us forward.
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And even things that you don't think you can do, like we talked about, fear.
21:48
Just try it.
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I heard in another podcast you said just say yes.
21:55
you said William Shatner said he just said yes to everything and I know Shonda
22:00
Rhimes did that too with her book.
22:02
It's just really important to just go for it.
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Stop stopping yourself.
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We all stop ourselves when we could.
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Just 1, 2, 3.
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Do it.
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And I know it's not easy, but if you do it in small steps,
22:18
small tasks, it becomes easier.
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David Friedman, BS: Which of you is an affirmation, speaking things into your
22:24
subconscious So, it becomes reality.
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Is this some?
22:26
That we should practice.
22:27
Are you an advocate?
22:28
Deborah Mallow: Oh, I am the thing about affirmations is it's not just about saying
22:34
it, it's about taking the action and.
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Doing it.
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That's the key.
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'cause you could say, I'm positive I am enough.
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You could say all these things, but you really need to believe it.
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You really need to act on it.
22:48
You really need to show up and show yourself that you can do
22:52
this because we're all capable.
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I always say, as trite as this sounds, we're all a gift.
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And we are who we think we are.
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You wanna think you're wonderful.
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That's who you'll become.
23:04
You wanna think you're less than, that's who you become.
23:07
So let's all start thinking, but be humble, of course, but
23:11
thinking that yes, we can do it.
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It's Henry Ford's quote, which I know you probably love too.
23:18
Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right.
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So I always like to say, let's say I can side with, I can.
23:29
David Friedman, BS: I love that.
23:29
And you know, you remind me, one of my favorite childhood books was, the Little
23:33
Engine That Could, the mantra was, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
23:37
It really shaped the way I Faced Everyday Challenge.
23:40
The life threw at me when I was younger.
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I love the book, but so many of today's children are not being
23:45
raised in that environment.
23:47
they're in negativity, self-doubt with no little engine that could guide them.
23:51
And You know what?
23:52
I don't even think that book's around anymore.
23:54
We need that book out.
23:55
What can parents do to turn that around and give their kids the
23:58
mindsets as your book so brilliantly puts it to have fewer days that suck.
24:03
Deborah Mallow: Absolutely.
24:04
Well, it all starts with modeling for your children.
24:08
And I know parents, I am a parent and I know that it can be really overwhelming
24:14
because besides working, taking care of the home, taking care of the
24:20
children, their schoolwork, everything.
24:22
it can become a lot, but we need to pause and reflect before responding.
24:31
Don't react.
24:32
Respond, talk to your children.
24:35
Kindly model that for them.
24:38
I know it's not easy, but we need to do it for ourselves first, And then
24:43
be able to help our children put the oxygen mask on ourselves first.
24:49
Make the changes we need to make, And also model for our children so they too can
24:55
become confident, resilient, self kind.
25:00
Humans because when we like ourselves, when we're confident and resilient and
25:06
kind to ourselves, we're kinder to other people and raising good humans, to me is
25:13
the biggest joy in the world, And we all want the best for our children, right?
25:19
So doing that, it's not about just giving stuff.
25:23
It's more about feeling good inside, and that's what we need to do for our
25:29
children so that they feel good inside and they feel good about themselves.
25:35
And that's what's really helpful when raising
25:39
your
25:39
children.
25:40
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, especially get their faces out of.
25:43
At social media because you say, I think I can, I think I can.
25:46
Well, no.
25:46
'cause a lot of that's fake and you can't do that.
25:48
It's like, it's not really them, it's not real life, but they
25:51
have this monumental belief that that's where life is and it's not.
25:54
So I think that that's, really destroying a lot of the, the children's joy and,
25:59
ability to rise above and beyond.
26:01
So I love that you said that.
26:02
One thing that I read, I was gonna chat with you about, I
26:04
read that when life gets you down.
26:06
Clean out the clutter in your house, and apparently it goes
26:09
beyond feeling more organized.
26:11
Is there something to the idea that tidying up your outside
26:14
world can impact your health and how you feel on the inside?
26:19
Deborah Mallow: Absolutely, as I, mentioned in my step
26:21
two ditch unhealthy habits.
26:23
Once we need to clear the physical, mental, and emotional clutter, we need
26:29
to have our environment so that it feels good, So, it doesn't overwhelm us.
26:35
All of That is so important.
26:37
The outside, whether toxic.
26:39
People talk about the outside environment.
26:42
It's not selfish to.
26:45
Sort of rid the toxic, not allow the toxic in.
26:50
That's even people that are negative that bring you down.
26:54
we all wanna help other people, but we need to, as I mentioned, put
26:59
the oxygen mask on ourselves first.
27:01
Feel good ourselves first is really important.
27:05
So absolutely it's important to clear.
27:10
Your habitat, your mind, your spirit, the people who bring you down, all of
27:17
that needs to be cleaned up and not.
27:23
To feel guilty about doing it because again, think of it, if you feel good,
27:30
you're better for the people around you.
27:33
So, it all starts with self care And that to me is the best thing you can
27:38
do for yourselves so that you enjoy And then the people around you enjoy too.
27:46
So good.
27:47
David Friedman, BS: Yeah, so true.
27:48
You know, I was, uh, I have a dog in the floor needed clean, and I would've been
27:51
busy And the next day needed clean, And the next day, And then, And then you
27:54
look down and you see it, and you just, I'll get to it, get there, and it's.
27:57
Like I just felt like that's what I was noticing and I cleaned the
28:01
floors and my whole attitude changed.
28:03
It's like, wow, you clean your environment and when I'm on the phone, a lot of times
28:06
if I'm trying to do some deep in thought and stuff, or I've got a problem to
28:09
solve, I'll clean while I'm on the phone.
28:12
And I'm telling you, they work hand in hand.
28:14
You clean your environment and you clean.
28:16
Environment, you know, your environment.
28:18
Environment, both of them.
28:19
So I think there's something to it, because it was like, God, you know,
28:22
I'm looking at the floor and I just, it's in the backside of my mind.
28:25
And when I cleaned it, I go, wow, I can think better.
28:27
I feel better.
28:28
Deborah Mallow: Accomplishment.
28:30
see, it's these small wins.
28:32
You just set up this whole conversation up so well as a wrap up because
28:37
it is, it's these small wins.
28:39
We do these little accomplishments that make us.
28:42
Feel better that bring that confidence and help us push through to make the next
28:49
accomplishment or clean up the next mess.
28:52
David Friedman, BS: that's so true.
28:53
Let me ask you this.
28:54
One simple thing I do to have fewer days that suck is I turn off the doom and
28:57
gloom news and I turn on music, and I'm telling you instantly my mood shifts.
29:02
It's like a reset button for me.
29:04
What are your thoughts on the role music plays in our
29:06
overall happiness and wellbeing?
29:08
Deborah Mallow: Oh, I am all for it.
29:10
I was at my exercise class at 7:00 AM this morning with the music.
29:14
You see, you get those endorphins, you boost them, you feel good.
29:18
Music is wonderful.
29:19
Creativity, music, dancing, all of that, it just Boosts us up.
29:26
It really does.
29:27
I'm all for it.
29:29
that's such a beautiful thing to do.
29:30
If you're feeling a little down, put on an upbeat song, whatever it is
29:35
for you that makes you feel good.
29:37
Oh my gosh, it's the best.
29:39
It is the best.
29:40
David Friedman, BS: It really is.
29:41
And you know, have you ever had, like you listen to a song And then you shut it
29:44
off and now you're singing that song for hours that's in your head, you're singing.
29:48
And singing it.
29:48
I thought about this.
29:49
If you're listening to the doom and gloom news or podcasts that are
29:52
negative, guess what you're saying that in your head all day, the negative.
29:56
Negative.
29:56
It's like that song.
29:58
I'd rather have a happy song in my head.
30:00
Deborah Mallow: so funny?
30:00
You said that one day it was raining outside and I said It might be.
30:05
Raining outside, but it's sunny in my mind.
30:08
And that's really the truth.
30:10
We need to keep our mind sunny.
30:13
This is not about forcing positivity, it's about approaching life
30:18
differently, being gentle with yourselves, thinking of happy things.
30:23
And you were talking about on another podcast.
30:26
This is one of the things I love to do is you plan things ahead,
30:30
whether it's a vacation, whether it's planning dinner with friends.
30:33
It's that anticipation also that lifts you up, gives you something to
30:38
look forward to, which makes you feel better, and that's what's so wonderful.
30:44
It's all these little things we've talked about.
30:46
Little things, micro things that we can do to make ourselves feel better,
30:52
And the more we think about it and focus on things like that, rather than
30:57
focusing on doom and gloom and what's negative, the more we'll be happier.
31:03
I said happier in my subtitle because it's not like you're
31:07
gonna be happy every minute.
31:10
It's not like it's going to be this euphoric.
31:12
Thing that maybe everybody is waiting for, but it's that you're at peace
31:17
with yourself, that you feel satisfied.
31:21
Little things, not expecting the big thing.
31:25
That's why even just things like.
31:29
Money.
31:30
Yes, it's important, but most importantly is feeling fulfilled, satisfied inside
31:39
purpose, passion, gratitude, appreciation.
31:42
Finding these little things to make yourselves feel better.
31:46
Don't discredit the strategy till you try it.
31:49
David Friedman, BS: So true.
31:50
And you know, I think.
31:51
That when you, get up and you can't get out of bed and you regret the day and all
31:54
that, You know, not if you had something to look forward to tell a kid that
31:57
won't get up and it's, come on, get up.
31:59
We gotta just go, no, no.
32:00
Hey, we're gonna go to Disney World.
32:01
Boom, he is up.
32:02
It's like, okay, well that sure changed his mind.
32:05
Same.
32:06
tired kid, popped right out.
32:07
All excited.
32:08
So we need those little things.
32:09
Not necessarily Disney World, but little things to look forward to a
32:12
concert, a visit, a restaurant, You know, schedule that for a married
32:15
couple, let's go to a restaurant.
32:16
We haven't been in a while and you know what?
32:18
We're gonna schedule that Saturday.
32:19
All week, you're looking forward to that meal and how you wake up,
32:22
you go, wow, I'm kind of excited.
32:23
I don't know why.
32:24
Could have been that little small change that you're
32:26
looking forward to on Saturday.
32:27
I love that Little changes make, big, big, drastic moves.
32:30
Lemme ask you this, when life is overwhelming, we
32:32
talk about being overwhelmed.
32:33
It's so easy for people.
32:34
They, for.
32:35
Reach for the wrong coping mechanism, but your approach turns
32:38
mountains into mo Hills, not through dramatic reinvention, but really
32:43
small, consistent daily changes.
32:44
We talked about Share why that gentler approach, that philosophy is more powerful
32:49
and lasting than reaching for, you know, that alcohol or something that's trying
32:53
to give them that up or the Red Bull.
32:54
There's so many more easier answers that's tangible that lasts.
32:59
Deborah Mallow: And I think I really said it before, is doing these
33:03
simple little things consistent.
33:06
Over time makes the difference.
33:09
It makes these mindset shifts.
33:12
It makes us feel better.
33:14
It makes us more positive because our brains do like patterns.
33:19
So if they like patterns, which they do, you're rewiring the neural pathways.
33:26
The neuroplasticity and.
33:29
Doing this really works.
33:31
It's proven by science that you can make these changes for yourself, and
33:39
that's what stops the overwhelm because you know that you can get through it.
33:44
You know, Dr.
33:45
David, I, read a study, you probably read the same study.
33:48
It's out of Penn State and.
33:51
They studied these participants.
33:53
they found that 91% of what they worried about never happened.
34:00
They were studying worry.
34:03
Uh.
34:03
And that's really the truth.
34:05
We do these things to ourselves.
34:08
We let our thoughts take over these stories we tell ourselves, And that stops
34:14
us from really enjoying in the present.
34:18
We get into our brains and to our minds.
34:21
We let fear and overwhelm everything we've talked about, take over,
34:27
rather than letting it go.
34:30
Self-sabotage, all the things we do to ourselves, and doing these small little
34:35
shifts that we've talked about to think about what can I do to flip the script to
34:40
make myself feel a little better today?
34:43
Well, why wouldn't we do that?
34:46
Why wouldn't you want to do that for yourself?
34:50
To feel better today, and I know it's hard, but I'm proof.
34:55
You are proof it can be done, but you have to make the daily decision to do it.
35:03
That's why these morning routines or these morning actions, I don't wanna necessarily
35:08
call it a routine, but these morning actions we do are so important because it.
35:13
Helps to set the day off right?
35:15
It helps to lower the stress to keep us calmer so we can move forward
35:21
in a more positive direction.
35:23
That's what I'm about.
35:24
Just little things to feel better.
35:27
Fewer days that suck so we can reconnect with our inner sunshine.
35:31
David Friedman, BS: So true.
35:31
I read a neat study that says when somebody's asked, I've got good news and
35:35
bad news, which one do you want first?
35:38
All of them want the bad news.
35:41
We gravitate, we we latch onto bad news.
35:43
That's the bad news.
35:44
And then I'll get through that then give me a reward with, good news,
35:47
it's like, let's leave with the good news, let's start positive.
35:50
We always start with the negative.
35:51
we're latching out.
35:52
So that's such a good point of how negativity is, And we stress about
35:55
things that don't ever happen.
35:57
It's like, see, that wasn't so bad.
35:59
I love that saying when you accomplish something, you're like, you know,
36:01
it wasn't, I thought this And this would happen, and it didn't.
36:03
So it's like you said, you gotta.
36:05
Try it and get out there.
36:06
It's such, good info on there.
36:08
And the, a couple minutes we have left, is there anything else you'd like to
36:11
share with the listeners that we didn't cover today so they can have fewer days?
36:14
That suck.
36:15
We all want that.
36:16
We got that last little tidbit you can share with us.
36:19
Deborah Mallow: What I like to say, and I think I did say it before,
36:22
but it's give yourself grace.
36:25
Don't be so hard on yourself.
36:28
I know it's not easy, but before going down a rabbit hole, before getting
36:33
down on yourself, stop and pause.
36:37
And think, I'm going to flip the script.
36:41
I'm going to do something nice for myself.
36:43
Why?
36:45
Because I deserve it.
36:46
And then that's what you put out into the universe And that
36:52
shapes what comes back to you.
36:55
You put the good out, it really does come back.
37:00
The positive attracts positive.
37:03
Remember that and negative.
37:05
Attracts negative.
37:06
So why do we wanna do that?
37:08
We wanna attract what's positive, what's going to serve us, what's going to make
37:13
us feel good so we can pay that forward, pass it along, and create a circle.
37:21
David Friedman, BS: well said.
37:22
That was fantastic.
37:23
It was so great having you today with us and, want everybody to get their copy.
37:26
The book is called Six Steps.
37:28
To fewer days that suck.
37:30
It's a fantastic, easy bite-sized read, so no excuses.
37:34
You don't have time.
37:35
Pick this up.
37:36
It's very digestible and it's gonna transform you and who you are and how
37:40
you think, And that's what we all need.
37:42
I recommend you get a copy and you can do so by going to.
37:45
The Daily decisions.com.
37:47
And while there, be sure and download the free Companion worksheets and
37:51
check out the many resources available, including articles, videos, and other
37:55
healthful tidbits that you can use.
37:57
And you can follow Debra on Facebook at the Daily Decisions
38:00
with Debra Mallow and on Instagram.
38:03
She's at daily.
38:04
Decision.
38:05
And you can follow me on Facebook at Dr.
38:08
David Friedman on Instagram.
38:10
I'm at Dr.
38:11
D Friedman.
38:11
And if you heard Deborah share something today that somebody you know with too
38:15
many days that suck needs to hear, send them a link to this podcast available
38:19
at to you good health radio.com
38:21
and podcast health.com
38:23
and peruse our podcast library.
38:25
And as I always say, share these segments, uh, with friends and
38:28
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38:30
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38:32
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38:33
You can also subscribe to our podcast on Apple, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.
38:38
More to come stay tuned and stay well.