Latest / Heal Yourself Podcast / Episode 104: How To Stop Feeling Like You Are Not Doing Enough

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Episode 104: How To Stop Feeling Like You Are Not Doing Enough · Heal Yourself Podcast

0:01
SPEAKER_04: Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive deep into all things healing.
0:05
SPEAKER_04: I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and functional nutritionist.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: And I'm Denise, a distinguished pathologist and a self-life coach for adults and teens.
0:15
SPEAKER_01: And we are here to guide you through the transformative process of healing your body, mind, and soul.
0:21
SPEAKER_04: Which means we're not staying in one lane.
0:23
SPEAKER_04: One episode, we're diving deep from the clinical, the gut-the-nervous system collabs.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: And the next we're unpacking identity, frequency, fake, whatever story for realizing we've been attached to that week.
0:36
SPEAKER_04: Because your body was never separate from the rest of you.
0:39
SPEAKER_04: The gut, the nervous system, the story you carry about who you are.
0:42
SPEAKER_04: It's all one conversation.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: Honestly, think of it less like a polished podcast and more like sitting in on a conversation between two besties who happen to also be obsessed with healing.
0:53
SPEAKER_04: So pull up a seat, no spiritual bypassing, no toxic positivity, just the truth about what it actually takes to come home to yourself.
1:02
SPEAKER_04: Your body already knows the way.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: Let's go remember it together.
1:24
SPEAKER_04: Well, now we want to kind of talk about what happens when you have guilt from feeling like you're not doing enough.
1:31
SPEAKER_04: Because I think this is common, right?
1:34
SPEAKER_04: Like a lot of us are walking around in a state of failure because we're like, well, we we have this bar that's way up here and it's totally unattainable.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: And then we feel guilty.
1:46
unknown: Yeah.
1:47
SPEAKER_01: And we want to fix it.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:49
SPEAKER_01: And then now self-care becomes a chore.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: A to-do list.
1:55
SPEAKER_04: It is.
1:56
SPEAKER_04: And that's the thing.
1:57
SPEAKER_04: There's like so many things that factor into this, right?
2:00
SPEAKER_04: Like check in the box.
2:02
SPEAKER_04: Well, and when we talk about stress in the nervous system, again, this is another stressor.
2:07
SPEAKER_04: Like I'm not saying that everything links back to stress, but we create more stress on ourselves.
2:12
SPEAKER_04: And if you feel like, well, I'm not doing enough, that is a chronic stressor, right?
2:16
SPEAKER_04: Oh, I'm I need to be um doing laundry more.
2:20
SPEAKER_04: I need to be taking different supplements.
2:22
SPEAKER_04: I need to, oh gosh, I forgot to run my recent labs.
2:25
SPEAKER_04: I need to, whatever it might be.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like sometimes, like, have you noticed?
2:30
SPEAKER_01: Like some you'll be meditating or you'll be, you know, doing yoga or supposedly silent, sitting still, and then the whole thing runs, oh my goodness, I I should answer the email, I should schedule an appointment, I should clean, I should blah blah blah.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, I didn't work out today.
2:46
SPEAKER_01: Oh shoot, I didn't eat my salad today.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: I didn't and then meditation goes out the window.
2:51
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and then you feel crappy about it, right?
2:54
SPEAKER_04: Then you're beating yourself up.
2:56
SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, and I mean, I'm just trying to think of like, let's look at the wellness industry.
3:03
SPEAKER_04: You know, my brain always goes back to that, but we can we can go spiritual too.
3:08
SPEAKER_04: But like you guys get on social media, you look at Instagram, and it's like, oh my gosh, this person is doing like the red light mask.
3:15
SPEAKER_04: And oh my gosh, wait, wait, wait, I'm supposed to do seed cycling.
3:18
SPEAKER_04: And oh, um, okay, I haven't been going to the gym enough.
3:22
SPEAKER_04: I need to lift weights, and you know, and then we get into, but I haven't done my meditation and I haven't done my journaling, and I haven't taken all 47 supplements, and now I'm completely failing.
3:33
SPEAKER_04: Nobody can do all of that.
3:35
SPEAKER_00: No, exactly.
3:37
SPEAKER_00: And then it's crazy.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: You just mentioned social media and all of that, and then and then it also targets the you the money, oh, the money beliefs that you have are wrong, and it's like, oh shit, and then or you know, the relationship beliefs and this, and emotionally mature and all of that crap, and it just keeps, you know, it keeps bombarding us, and I think it just what's meant to do, like social media is meant to create chaos in that loop, you know.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I know people are making money from it.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: I get that, but how many people can differentiate that?
4:12
SPEAKER_01: We're like, you know what, I'm just using it for business, I'm not gonna scroll endlessly.
4:16
SPEAKER_01: Maybe at the beginning maybe at the like, maybe when they because I do know some people who truly make you know uh money from making content, and but I don't know.
4:27
SPEAKER_04: Those aren't the ones that are scrolling and getting brought in by the way.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: They are scrolling, they could be scrolling, I don't know, but they're still making money from it.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: I have no idea, but I feel that it's just totally, it's really truly, and we're not against it because we use it, but it's if you're comparing what the world is doing, you know, in the lens of social media, like that's a bad, that's a very, very guaranteed losing game.
4:56
SPEAKER_04: And just comparing in general, right?
4:59
SPEAKER_04: Like, who's telling you you're not doing enough?
5:02
SPEAKER_04: Is that you?
5:03
SPEAKER_04: Because usually it's not you.
5:05
SPEAKER_04: We we can trace that back, right?
5:07
SPEAKER_04: Is that the culture?
5:08
SPEAKER_04: Is that an influencer?
5:10
SPEAKER_04: Is that a parent?
5:11
SPEAKER_01: I know you know, like who's telling you're behind?
5:14
SPEAKER_04: Exactly.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: You're never behind up with that term.
5:17
SPEAKER_04: I don't know.
5:18
SPEAKER_04: That's a good question.
5:19
SPEAKER_04: You know what I mean?
5:19
SPEAKER_01: Like who get like whose timeline are you on?
5:22
SPEAKER_01: So if I'm on your timeline, but I'm not Kira, if I'm maybe if I'm on your timeline, I'm behind, but my name is not kira, my upbringing is not kira, my experiences are not you, so I'm on my own timeline.
5:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I'm not behind, I'm exactly where I need to be.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but that is that's very sure it's easy.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: You and I can sit here and say, but it is practice, dude.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: It is practice.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: You gotta practice that every single moment that that ding comes up.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh my god, I'm behind.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: I reminded myself yesterday.
5:58
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh shit, I have this to do, I have this, I overwhelm my I overwhelm myself from the mental like as the thought I have to do all of the things, and I was like, you know what?
6:09
SPEAKER_01: Sit your ass down, write the priorities that you need to get done before you shower.
6:14
SPEAKER_01: And then I got them done.
6:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
6:17
SPEAKER_04: Because our thoughts, right?
6:19
SPEAKER_04: It it goes back to the thoughts, and I know we've done episodes around this, but that's what's running the show, right?
6:25
SPEAKER_04: The subconscious, but then we're having these thoughts that come in, and it's like, whoa, wait, is this thought mine?
6:31
SPEAKER_04: Do I want to have this thought?
6:32
SPEAKER_04: Do I need to shift this thought?
6:34
SPEAKER_04: Because then we start this spiral of, oh my gosh, I have so many things to do, I'm not getting them accomplished, I'm a failure.
6:41
SPEAKER_04: And then it just keeps going.
6:43
SPEAKER_04: And then again, thoughts do become things.
6:46
SPEAKER_04: So now we're perpetuating the cycle and we're just gonna attract more crap that we feel like we need to be doing, but we don't need to always do it.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: And then missing one thing becomes I'm failing at everything, I'm failing at life.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: You know, I've been so lazy, I don't journal, I don't read, I don't meditate, I don't check the emails, I'm so behind.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: I didn't do the da da da da da.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: I'm so undisciplined, I'm not disciplined.
7:11
SPEAKER_01: You know, look at me, my life is going down the drain.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: So again, one after the other after the other, and then we have the all or nothing where it's like, you know what, I don't have an hour to go to the gym.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
7:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna go.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna go.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: But I'm gonna ignore the 20 minutes or 15 minutes that I can do walking.
7:31
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
7:32
SPEAKER_04: Like, guys, I went upstairs yesterday.
7:33
SPEAKER_04: I was like, I'm not, my body is not in a place to go to the gym tonight.
7:37
SPEAKER_04: However, I still wanted to move my body.
7:40
SPEAKER_04: So not only did I take a walk, I went upstairs for 10 minutes and just lifted some weights.
7:45
SPEAKER_04: Like you, you can find I didn't need to go to the gym for an hour, right?
7:49
SPEAKER_04: There's always a way.
7:50
SPEAKER_04: It's like, oh, I I don't have an hour.
7:52
SPEAKER_04: I have five minutes.
7:53
SPEAKER_04: Get on a vibration plate.
7:55
SPEAKER_04: Like, there's so many things, but you're right.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: Someone's saying right now, what the fuck is vibration plate?
8:01
SPEAKER_04: Don't add this to your mom.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: Just added something to your plate.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna call you on that.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not saying I don't even have a vibration plate.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Go out walking.
8:14
SPEAKER_04: Hey, hey, this is recommended by my son's physical therapist to help him poop people.
8:21
SPEAKER_04: You get what I'm saying?
8:22
SPEAKER_04: She's making faces.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: No, it was a legit therapy.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: She just added something on your plate.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: Okay, just look at her.
8:29
SPEAKER_04: Don't go out and get this.
8:31
SPEAKER_04: Um, hey, it's a time saver if you only have some people have it.
8:35
SPEAKER_02: Some people have it.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: If you have it, get on it.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: If you don't, don't buy it on Amazon.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: So I just swear right now, someone's Googling vibration plate.
8:43
SPEAKER_04: I swear.
8:44
SPEAKER_04: No, don't go out and get this.
8:45
SPEAKER_04: But no, you're right.
8:46
SPEAKER_04: And it, I mean, let's look at this with food because this used to be me, right?
8:52
SPEAKER_04: Like, oh my gosh, I started the day.
8:54
SPEAKER_04: And this is when I was a very unhealthy eater, right?
8:57
SPEAKER_04: But it's like, oh, I started the day with a bagel with cream cheese.
9:01
SPEAKER_04: You know what?
9:02
SPEAKER_04: The day is just gone.
9:03
SPEAKER_04: Let me just have like donuts later and Doritos, and you know what I mean?
9:09
SPEAKER_04: Like, yeah, literally, I would start to tell myself this, and it's like, no, no, no, no, no.
9:14
SPEAKER_04: And also, it's because there was guilt around that, right?
9:18
SPEAKER_04: Like, I'm not doing the right things, which goes back to I'm not doing enough, and then there was guilt, so then it's like, well, now screw it.
9:26
SPEAKER_04: But let's look at this, right?
9:28
SPEAKER_04: If you're eating food in a state of guilt, it's making your digestion worse, right?
9:36
SPEAKER_01: I did that a lot when I first started eating the healthy food.
9:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, it was like guilt after guilt after guilt, no wonder like I wasn't feeling good.
9:46
SPEAKER_04: No, because that's the thing.
9:47
SPEAKER_04: Then we I'm not gonna get into all the clinical stuff, guys, but it's like suppressing digestive enzymes, yada yada yada.
9:54
SPEAKER_04: If you okay, if you're eating a salad and checking off a box because you're like, I'm gonna be so guilty if I don't do this and I haven't had enough greens today, so let me eat a salad, but you're doing it in a state of stress and I'm not happy, that is not healthy.
10:10
SPEAKER_04: Versus, you know what, I'm gonna eat a damn scone and I'm gonna have nothing but joy.
10:17
SPEAKER_04: That's less inflammatory than eating the freaking salad with a side of self-criticism.
10:22
SPEAKER_04: Seriously.
10:23
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: No, absolutely, 1000%, 1000%.
10:26
SPEAKER_04: So I'm not saying go sit and eat scones and bonbons and stuff, but I'm saying like this goes back to perfectionism and feeling guilty of I'm not doing enough.
10:35
SPEAKER_04: Eat the freaking scone, you're gonna be okay.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: Right.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: No, exactly, and I mean it's the balance too.
10:42
SPEAKER_01: You don't want to like um I'm not gonna name names, and I don't know.
10:50
SPEAKER_01: I'm just gonna give a broad example.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Like, we were somewhere, I'm not gonna say where because I don't know, I don't even know who listens from my friends to this, but I was stressing out just by watching this person stress out over food, and I was like, what in the world?
11:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, I am getting anxiety and finally I was like, I can't do this.
11:09
SPEAKER_01: Like, I just like it was just so stressful just to see that person stress over food, and I'm like, you're supposed to be having fun.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: Hello, hello, have fun.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it's just it's don't stress, don't stress about food because when you like you said, when you eat healthy, the size side of criticism that doesn't help you at all.
11:31
SPEAKER_04: And we're not making this episode about food, but and I'm not saying go eat eat unhealthy stuff, but it's like work on that relationship with yourself.
11:40
SPEAKER_04: Tell yourself, I'm doing enough, right?
11:42
SPEAKER_04: I opt for healthy food 95% of the time.
11:46
SPEAKER_04: That's what I gravitate towards because I feel good.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Just give yourself some slack, yeah.
11:50
SPEAKER_04: And it's but it's not a job for me like it used to be.
11:53
SPEAKER_04: And then when I would eat something unhealthy, I'd feel guilt, and then the day would go bad because then I'd say, Oh, I screwed it up.
11:59
SPEAKER_04: There's no screwing it up.
12:01
SPEAKER_04: You're doing it.
12:02
SPEAKER_01: What did you and I eat?
12:03
SPEAKER_01: Remember when we were in Arizona and you're like, she's such a health freak, this one.
12:06
SPEAKER_01: And then we were in Arizona, and then we're like eating healthy most of the time.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: But we still owe it.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: Oh, we got dessert.
12:12
SPEAKER_01: We got dessert.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: We're like, you know what?
12:14
SPEAKER_01: And then you know, Kira was like, fine with it, like you know, that like that let's enjoy.
12:17
SPEAKER_01: Was it to remuse or something?
12:19
SPEAKER_04: We went and got we were we were so hungry.
12:23
SPEAKER_04: We went and got two two whole pizzas.
12:26
SPEAKER_04: Oh, we got a whole thing of brushetta, and then we got tiramasu.
12:30
SPEAKER_04: Okay, we didn't even eat half of it, we gave it to the hotel workers.
12:33
SPEAKER_04: Remember, we're like, please guys eat this.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: We didn't drink, and then but we just got it, just pick for the heck of the pizza, you know, and I was like, so because you know, Kira is like very gluten-free, like very insisting on that, but like you didn't stress over it, you're like, fuck it, you know, we're here, we're having fun, and I'm not sure.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: And then we're like, you know what, let's have Especial Martinis for brunch, and we did because we're having fun and we're enjoying ourselves, and and that didn't, you know, like like you didn't feel guilty about it, yeah.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: It didn't get in my head, yeah, and like you said, you make 90% healthy choices or 95, whatever.
13:16
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah, but that's the thing back in the day, you know, a decade plus ago, probably two decades ago, no, I would have felt really guilty, and then I would have given myself crap, and then I would have felt terrible the rest of the day for eating those things, and now it's like, no, no, no, no.
13:32
SPEAKER_04: So again, who's putting that on you, right?
13:38
SPEAKER_04: Who's telling you you're not doing enough?
13:40
SPEAKER_04: Who's telling you you're doing a bad job?
13:41
SPEAKER_04: And what does that even mean?
13:44
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
13:44
SPEAKER_01: And I just want to add that consistency doesn't have to mean doing something perfectly at the same time every single day, right?
13:52
SPEAKER_01: Some days it's they're they're different than other days, and that's okay.
13:56
SPEAKER_01: And uh just you know, it's really important to just also be very compassionate with yourself and say, you know what, even if you overdid it, sometimes we do overdo it, even if you did, just take a deep breath and reset.
14:12
SPEAKER_01: Because remember the moment by moment change that we can make, not big leaps, because the small moments will lead to the big leap that you want, or whatever.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: And some days you just want to be lazy on the couch, and that's okay.
14:25
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
14:26
SPEAKER_01: And rest, I want to add, rest is not something you earn by finishing everything.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: Because remember what we talked about last week.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: We said, Do you ever arrive?
14:36
SPEAKER_01: Is everything always finished?
14:38
SPEAKER_01: No, you might finish a to-do list and then something else.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I'm adding things to my to-do list, and I'm not even done with the 10 things that are on there because nothing is ever finished.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: So prioritizing rest is something so important and not it's a reward when I'm done with everything because I don't think you're ever done with everything.
14:58
SPEAKER_04: You're not, it's again, it's not a it's not a destination, right?
15:03
SPEAKER_04: Like we've talked about this before.
15:05
SPEAKER_04: The list is never going to end.
15:07
SPEAKER_04: And let's say your list doesn't, let's say you have 10 things on it that you need to accomplish today, and you're like, oh my gosh, I finished the 10 things.
15:14
SPEAKER_04: How many people can say that they're like celebrating the 10 things?
15:18
SPEAKER_04: No, usually they're like, oh wait, shit, you know what?
15:22
SPEAKER_04: There were three other things that I needed to do.
15:25
SPEAKER_04: You're never gonna feel like anything is enough.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: So no, and to be honest with you, I'm gonna give you a very concrete example regarding my own business, right?
15:35
SPEAKER_01: So when I first first started my business, I barely had clients, and I was like, oh my god, do not be so happy if I have this.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: And then now my schedule is almost full, and I'm not taking the time to like, yay, celebrating it until yesterday.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: My assistant, uh, because we received a new referral and she was adding them to the system, and then she's like, hey Denise, you know, I added them.
15:55
SPEAKER_01: What do you want me to do?
15:56
SPEAKER_01: Do you want me to reach out to schedule evaluation?
15:58
SPEAKER_01: And then she's like, Yay, for more clients.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Why am I not taking the time to celebrate that?
16:05
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be where I am today a year ago, but then I got here and I'm not sure.
16:10
SPEAKER_01: There's always more celebrate it because like now I want more.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: No, now I'm like, now I'm complaining about dude, I'm tired, I need to hire, and I cannot find somebody to hire.
16:19
SPEAKER_01: And so it's this is a perfect example where I stopped myself yesterday.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: I was like, you know what?
16:24
SPEAKER_01: She's right, yay, for more clients because that's where I wanted to be.
16:29
SPEAKER_01: And um, so yeah, see, I call myself out too, and it's important to just you know celebrate because it's you're right, like we're never done and we're always setting bigger goals and bigger goals.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: We get to somewhere and then we're not satisfied.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: We're adding more, we're adding more, we're adding more.
16:43
SPEAKER_04: And then we wonder why we're always unhappy and why you know what I mean?
16:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and maybe the question is you know, ask what you need instead of what you should do.
16:55
SPEAKER_01: So, what do I need today?
16:57
SPEAKER_01: Do I need to work out?
16:59
SPEAKER_01: Then get your ass out, get your ass, you know, and then go work out, right?
17:03
SPEAKER_01: Or do I need to sleep 30 more minutes?
17:06
SPEAKER_01: Do I need to walk?
17:08
SPEAKER_01: Not with you.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: Like every day is gonna be different because some days, guess what?
17:13
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna be able to work out for an hour, and some days you can't.
17:17
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and what we've talked about this.
17:19
SPEAKER_04: Stop shooting on yourself, right?
17:21
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
17:22
SPEAKER_01: Stop shoulding.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: No, shouldn't yes, should ink, yes, that's why I said should S-H-O-U-L-V.
17:34
SPEAKER_04: We're making up words here, guys, but I got it.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean like what would actually support me today.
17:41
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and that's what would support me physically, what would support me mentally, emotionally as well.
17:47
SPEAKER_04: It goes back to last week, right?
17:50
SPEAKER_04: These tie together, right?
17:52
SPEAKER_04: One is like you're doing too much, and the other is the guilt of not doing enough.
17:56
SPEAKER_04: Let it be.
17:57
SPEAKER_04: Let yourself be enough and sit with it, right?
18:02
SPEAKER_04: We we say these things because you have got to learn to be the best coach for yourself, right?
18:08
SPEAKER_04: You have to ask yourself these questions.
18:11
SPEAKER_04: Why am I getting in this pattern?
18:13
SPEAKER_04: Why am I telling myself I'm not doing enough?
18:16
SPEAKER_04: Why am I telling myself X, Y, Z, and looking at the is this a need?
18:20
SPEAKER_04: Is this a should?
18:21
SPEAKER_04: Is this a worthiness issue?
18:23
SPEAKER_04: Is this where is this coming from?
18:25
SPEAKER_04: Like, learn to ask yourself these deep questions about the thoughts, the patterns, the beliefs, because that's how you get to the place of healing, right?
18:37
SPEAKER_04: Of physically feeling well, but also mentally, spiritually, emotionally feeling well.
18:42
SPEAKER_04: And yes, there's always another level, but right there, if you're listening to this, you're here because something you feel like is missing in your life.
18:50
SPEAKER_04: That's how you get there by coaching yourself and learning how to ask yourself these questions and being honest with yourself.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: And if someone is saying I don't have time for this, um then continue the status quo.
19:06
SPEAKER_04: I'm sorry, I'm gonna be bold.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: No, no, I'm saying like I don't have time to question myself.
19:10
SPEAKER_04: That's what I'm saying though.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: No, but I I have a really like really cool idea is do it in the car.
19:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Do it in the car.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm sure you're driving by yourself at some point.
19:22
unknown: Yeah.
19:22
SPEAKER_01: Right?
19:22
SPEAKER_01: Are you?
19:23
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes what I do is I turn off like everything, the rate, you know, whatever, the music and all that.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: And then I just start asking myself these questions.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: Or, you know, talking to myself.
19:38
SPEAKER_01: And it could be like only a simple five minutes, does not have to be a whole conversation.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: And so that that's the perfect place, or even if you're in the bathroom, like someone's saying, Oh, I don't drive in the car by myself, okay.
19:50
SPEAKER_01: Fine, you do go in the bathroom by yourself.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: I hope.
19:54
SPEAKER_04: And it I mean, here's so do that.
19:57
SPEAKER_04: It doesn't need to be a long, drawn-out process.
19:59
SPEAKER_04: I might have a thought pop into my head of like, oh my gosh, I should be doing this.
20:04
SPEAKER_04: And it's it's an instantaneous, wait, wait, wait, is this my thought or is it coming from somewhere else?
20:10
SPEAKER_04: And I just, it's gone.
20:11
SPEAKER_04: It's gone like that because I'm like, oh, that wasn't mine.
20:14
SPEAKER_04: That's not truth.
20:15
SPEAKER_04: It's gone.
20:16
SPEAKER_04: I don't need to sit and analyze it.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, at all.
20:20
SPEAKER_04: So if someone says I don't have time, I'm sorry, I'm calling BS because it's it's instantaneous.
20:25
SPEAKER_04: I'm not saying that you sit and need to have a 45-minute coaching session with yourself, but it can be a very quick question.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely, yeah.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: And you don't have to like go do breath work and meditate and to get it all out.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: We're not saying that.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: We're very practical because we both have very busy lives and we are very, very practical.
20:43
SPEAKER_01: And to be honest with you, once you and I kind of like veered off the like rigid routines and and all of that, our lives, our lives, we notice our lives getting better and better, and us emotionally, you know, yes, we do still have crap.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, this week, you know why we're not gonna talk about it.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: I've been feeling a little, you know, uncomfortable.
21:03
SPEAKER_01: And instead of, you know, I always act upon it.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: What I've been doing is just like allowing myself to sit in that discomfort instead of wanting it, instead of wanting it to go away.
21:13
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you know what, just sit in it, feel it.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: It is what it is, just feel the discomfort.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: It's okay, you know, it's fine, it's just gonna pass instead of like wanting to.
21:23
SPEAKER_01: I think sometimes we get so caught up in wanting to relieve the uncomfortable feeling or the uncomfortable thought or whatever that we just make a whole lot of movie and scenario about it versus just letting it pass.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: It just takes a minute and boom, out, done.
21:41
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, and then do something else, move your attention, get into silence.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: Like that, maybe that's another episode, but I know I feel like our episode just like keep like, but that's that's good.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: Like they they they pile up, like they they follow each other, I feel, and it just they do because it's never just one concept, yeah.
22:02
SPEAKER_04: It's it's never just like, hey, this one tiny little topic we're gonna discuss, they're gonna keep bleeding into each other.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and we get inspired by others we're talking about this because at the end of the day, I feel a lot of us are saying the same thing in the spiritual world, we're kind of saying the same thing in a different way.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: It's just like who you resonate with.
22:19
SPEAKER_01: Like, I may resonate with this person, you may resonate with us, you may not resonate with that person.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh, you know, Kira and Denise say what the other person said, but they say it in a different way because we're also adding our own life experiences and we're doing it with you, you know.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: We are really, really in the thick of it sometimes.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: And so I think I have a takeaway.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: I think that your routines, you know, everything that you should you think be doing, whatever your to-do list, there are tools to support your life.
22:51
SPEAKER_01: Your life is not a test of how perfectly you can follow your routines because some days you can follow great and some days you don't.
23:00
SPEAKER_01: Some days you're 10%, it looks like a hundred.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: Take that, be compassionate with yourself, and you are on your own timeline.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: That's the most important thing to remember.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: You're not on anyone else's timeline but your own.
23:17
SPEAKER_04: You're exactly where you're supposed to be, but 1000%.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: You are exactly where you're supposed to be in this time.
23:29
SPEAKER_01: Okay, ready?
23:32
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I I was thinking something simple, like I'm not behind.
23:38
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: Whatever she says.
23:40
SPEAKER_01: Whatever she says.
23:43
SPEAKER_01: Alrighty, 446.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: Ready?
23:46
SPEAKER_01: Did you have a takeaway?
23:47
SPEAKER_01: Did you want to add anything?
23:48
SPEAKER_01: No, yours was good.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, I totally interrupted you.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: No, you're fine.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: Um see, that's why we get along, you you people, because we're the opposites.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: But I'm like totally like your husband, though.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Your husband and I are like totally similar.
24:01
SPEAKER_01: And we no wonder I'm her bestie.
24:05
SPEAKER_00: Literally, I'm like exactly like her husband.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: We're crazy people.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: When him and I mean, it's like, oh yes, second level craziness.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, alrighty.
24:16
SPEAKER_01: So we're gonna um close our eyes if we're not driving.
24:20
SPEAKER_01: One on the heart, other on the belly, inhale for four, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, five, four, three, two, one, I'm not behind.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Again, one, two, three, four, hold, two, three, four, exhale, five, four, three, two, one, I am not behind.
24:56
SPEAKER_04: See y'all in the next episode.