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Becoming Anchored S1E1: Managing Depression During the Winter Months · Becoming Anchored

0:00
Hi everyone.
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Welcome to the Becoming Anchored podcast.
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I am Lauren.
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Hi, I am Laura.
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And yeah, we're two therapists in the Nashville area.
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We're in Brentwood and we have decided to start a podcast to create
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a place of community for you all to come and talk about all things.
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Mental health therapy and how that relates to our real lives.
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And so, like I said, we are two licensed therapists located in the Brentwood area.
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We are in a group private practice with eight other gals.
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We work closely together and we work from anything from.
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Anxiety, depression, life transition, eating disorders grief and loss.
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And then anything and everything in between.
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We see all ages through the lifespan men and women and we
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love, love, love what we do.
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And we're so excited as well to find this new way to connect with you guys.
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Yeah, and so Lauren actually came to me with this idea, I wanna
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say about a year ago now, and.
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Yeah, we both have little ones at home, and so this is finally
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coming to fruition, and the purpose of this podcast is twofold.
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First and foremost, we want to be relatable, and so we want
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to share our lived experiences managing our own mental health.
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And being in relationship with ourselves and others.
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And then we also wanna share some stories and some wisdom that we have gleaned over
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the years practicing and being therapists.
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And so we love this idea of becoming anchored.
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So it's this idea that none of us have arrived and we always have something
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to learn and we can always grow.
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And we also love this idea of.
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Being anchored in hope.
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So this idea that we can, we can always find something
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that points us towards hope.
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So we're so excited that y'all are here on this journey with us.
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Yes, thanks Laura.
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A quick disclaimer as well.
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So even though we are licensed therapists, we aren't your therapist.
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So the purpose of this podcast and these seasons and episodes is really
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for informational purposes only.
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This.
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Isn't meant to be a substitute for therapy in any way.
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And so if you are finding that as you listen to our episodes and connect
2:28
with us and engage in the content that you could benefit from your own
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therapy, we really encourage you to either reach out to us if you're local.
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Or find someone local to you who is licensed and who can help you
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on your own therapeutic journey.
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And we're here to walk this with you as well.
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So here we go.
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This is our first episode and we thought it might be helpful to
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talk about navigating depression, especially during the winter months.
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And so we acknowledge that depression can occur at any time of year, and there
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is a piece that sometimes our clients report more symptoms of depression.
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During the winter months and so Lauren and I just thought it might be really
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helpful just to chat through, you know, how we work with clients, our own
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histories of low mood and or depression.
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So here we go.
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First episode.
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So when I think about depression I feel like in society and Lauren you tell me
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what your thoughts are on this, but I feel like in society it's, it's kind
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of seen as staying in bed all day.
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There's this, there's this kind of picture that I think a lot of us hold in our minds
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when we bring up the word depression.
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So, as someone who has personally walked the road of depression at various
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seasons in my life, when clients come in and tell me that they're experiencing
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depression or low mood, my heart goes out to them because I personally
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understand what that feels like.
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And it can, it can just be so, so hard to feel depressed, to
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feel disengaged from your life.
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So I remember a specific time in my own life when I was walking
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through depression, and it was in college when I was actually also
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going through an eating disorder.
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I didn't have appropriate support and I remember I.
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I was that person that just wanted to stay in my dorm room.
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I didn't want to engage with friends.
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I also had a really, really strong inner critic at that point.
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And so a lot of my depression was fueled by that.
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Like I, I didn't know how to practice self-compassion.
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I, I didn't want to do the things that had previously brought me joy.
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I was also in the thick of an eating disorder, which as we know.
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Mood disorders can go, can frequently co-occur with an
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eating disorder diagnosis.
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And so I felt really lost.
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I felt like pretty pretty low frequently.
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I also felt like things wouldn't get better.
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And so those were things that were going through my mind when I was
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experiencing symptoms of depression.
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And, and it was just so, so hard.
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And so yeah, depression is, is a toughie and it can feel like we're
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kind of walking around aimless.
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And that's certainly my experience of depression.
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Yeah.
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So like Laura said it's not uncommon to kind of have a image in our minds of what.
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Maybe somebody looks like, or what somebody does or doesn't do when they
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have depression, where they're struggling with depression to some degree or another.
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And although some of those, if you will, stereotypes for lack of a better word,
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maybe are true to some extent, depression can look like a lot of different things.
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And, and.
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And that perhaps stereotype maybe can even keep people or individuals from seeking
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out the support that they do need because they don't feel like they look like or
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act like they should have depression.
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And so, offering that, you know, piece of like insight
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and validation can be helpful.
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Just in an individual's own kind of journey in seeking out, in seeking out
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support and, and like I said, any, any.
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Mental health issue, if you will typically lives on a spectrum.
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So you know, as therapists, we have this big book that we use to help us
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diagnose things when that's appropriate.
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And and those, the, those diagnoses are pretty limited in the people that they
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reach And the, the, the real lived.
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Struggles that that individuals have, even if somebody doesn't
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maybe meet criteria for something.
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And so that's a helpful resource for us as therapists and, and it's important
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for us to acknowledge in our own personal lives and in the lives of all of our
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clients that that these symptoms and these struggles, particularly depression.
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Don't show up black and white.
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They, they can show up on a spectrum.
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And anywhere that you land on that spectrum of experiencing low mood
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to full depressive episodes is valid and it's worth it's worth
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seeking out, you know, support.
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Support for whether that's professional, whether that's
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relational whatever that need is.
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So, so that's, you know, that's where.
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This particular topic around seasonal, seasonal depression, depressive
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mood during the winter months can be a particular like pain point
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for some people because because we.
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We can, we tend to be a species of highly being, highly critical, right?
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Like we're, we're pretty highly critical of ourselves.
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And so when we, when we find that we're in a season where we're not operating
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as maybe productively as we have been, that can feel really frustrating
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validly, and there's maybe more going on.
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And so that's, that's what we're here to explore with you guys.
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To encourage you guys around and to offer hope around.
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So yeah, that was a little bit long-winded, but just some thoughts
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that I had around the, the, the spectrum piece of where we can all kind of land
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on, on our mood and how even, even being on the lower end of the spectrum.
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That can still be significantly impactful in how we move about our
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lives.
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One of the things that I have come to love and just so appreciate about Lauren
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is this opening of perspective and just this idea that it doesn't necessarily
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have to be this clinical diagnosis.
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F for you to, to seek out help or for it to feel really bad or hard.
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And yeah, like Lauren said, there's lots of different presentations
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for individuals with depression.
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So I know I shared my story is a harsh, harsh inner critic and learning
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how to develop more self-compassion.
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Other people may sleep too little or too much.
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Other people may start.
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Saying no to more social engagements or.
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I know some clients will tell me that they maybe don't answer their loved ones
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via text message or call people back.
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That can be pretty common.
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And so there is that threat of avoidance.
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And, and a lot of times that's indicative that our nervous system is not regulated.
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And then two, there's a lot of research on the benefit of sunlight.
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And so when you think about the winter months and that seasonal piece that
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Lauren was talking about, you know, it gets dark earlier and it can just,
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that can greatly impact our mood.
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It's cold outside, so maybe we're not going to a park or walking outside or
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doing things that really, you know, help us through those depressive episodes.
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And so depression can be more common for lots of different reasons.
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I mean, I'm, I'm just, as I'm talking, I'm thinking about, you know, spending
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time with friends and family over the holidays and that can lead to.
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You know, problematic conversations and then that can fuel depression.
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So there's lots of different things over, over the winter months that
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can, can cause depressive episodes.
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But like Lauren said, no matter what your presentation is, you are
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deserving of, of support and of help if you're struggling with lower mood.
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And yeah.
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So one thing that we wanted to talk about today was how.
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How we can get support and what things actually support us in
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working through depression.
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So I don't currently identify as having depression right now at this, in this
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season of life, but there are times when I wake up and I feel lower mood.
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And so one of the best things that I can do is engage in what
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we call behavioral activation.
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And it's this idea that.
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I can do things and I can engage in a behavior with the intent
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of helping myself feel better.
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So one thing that that looks like for me, if I wake up and I'm feeling
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low mood or I'm feeling a little bit aimless, or I'm not really sure what
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my day is going to hold, I love to just jump in a hot shower and get ready.
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And that can mean throwing on yoga pants and getting out of the house,
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you know, whatever it might mean.
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But that, that small, those small behavioral activations.
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Just really help my mood, and that might seem small, but I think one
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thing that's important to remember with depression is that small steps matter
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and we have to really be intentional about not minimizing those small steps.
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And so.
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My husband Sean, you guys will hear me talk about him.
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But if I'm telling him like I'm just feeling kind of off or I
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feel like I'm having low mood today, he will ask me like, Hey,
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do you wanna get outta the house?
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And time and time again, I might say like, Ugh, I don't wanna do that thing,
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but then I do the thing and it helps me.
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And so that's another piece about behavioral activation is a lot of
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times we don't wanna do the thing that will help us actually feel better.
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And so Lauren, I don't know if you have any strategies that work for you with
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behavioral activation, but I'd love
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to hear those.
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Yeah, so another thing that's coming to mind as you're talking about
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behavioral activation and kind of, and in the same vein of DBT, so
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that dialectical behavioral therapy which if you've ever been in therapy
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that might sound familiar to you.
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Is a skill called opposite action.
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So it's, it's really similar to that.
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Right?
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And it's particularly effective with depression.
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So when we're feeling, when we're feeling low down low energy, it
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doing something opposite from what.
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That depressive state is wanting us to do it is intended to help us feel better
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which is also activating us, right?
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Like that, like, like the behavior activation.
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So something that I think my clients find interesting and, and,
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what's the word I want to use?
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Kind of shocking.
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I mean, that feels like a big word, but I'll just use that anyways.
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Is this idea that, so when we think of being anxious or when we think
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of being really riled up, we, we think of maybe feeling dysregulated,
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if you've ever heard that word.
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So when we're really heightened, it's, it's.
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Common to associate that with being in a state of dysregulation.
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And what's interesting is that that's really just one end of
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the spectrum of dysregulation.
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And when we are in a low state, we're also dysregulated.
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Our nervous system is also experiencing dysregulation.
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So there's this thing in the therapy world called our window of tolerance,
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and our window of tolerance is.
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Is the emotional state in which our nervous system is regulated.
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And so anytime that we're really, really heightened, really anxious,
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we're outside of that window.
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And anytime we're really, really low and down and numb and flat, we're
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actually outside of that window as well.
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So that, oh, my earbud just fell up.
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So that can be helpful in identifying.
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When we are in need of things to do to get regulated because if
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I'm really anxious and my heart's pounding and I am feeling frantic.
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It is easier for me to have some compassion for myself and say, okay,
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I need to take some deep breaths.
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I need to go find a safe person and get a hug.
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I need to go splash some water on my face to bring my heart rate down.
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Right?
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And I, and my encouragement is around.
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Noticing how when we're in a low state that we also have a need to to regulate.
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And so that looks different right?
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Than I.
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When I'm trying to bring my nervous system down.
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So if we think the opposite when we're low, we're actually trying to
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bring ourselves back up, which is that behavior activation piece we're trying
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to act, reactivate our nervous system.
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And so if you think about it in that way things like, yeah,
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hopping in a hot shower, um.
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Changing your environment.
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So if you're inside going outside, that helps me a lot.
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If I'm feeling just down and maybe irritable and I don't know, lonely
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and whatever, just, just changing my environment is really helpful.
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I'm trying to think of some other kind of practical things that, that I do when I
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am having a day that feels harder where I feel less motivation and I'm feeling,
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you know, maybe more emotionally tired.
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I really love, you know, obviously the weather right now is a little bit.
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Is a little bit yucky, but going on a walk outside talking to a friend.
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So like connecting with a friend, depression tends to be kind of isolating.
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And so activating relational engagement can be really
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helpful and really important.
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What else?
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I mean, so my son at home for, for his birthday, his grandparents got him a, a
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little mini like trampoline and has like a handle on it and it like sings and you
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can play all these games or whatever.
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So getting creative with like, things that you have access to.
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So getting on that and just like jumping around, like playing with my son.
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Right.
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Those are, that, that's just a fun, easy, silly way to like.
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Re-engage in the present moment.
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So really anytime we're regulating, we're trying to re-engage with the present the
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present moment and our bodies essentially.
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So so yeah, I, I, the window of tolerance thing, I use that all the time.
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I use that with my clients all the time.
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I use it with myself.
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It's so helpful to think about.
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And so if that's something that resonates with you maybe paying
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attention to, when you notice maybe it's easier to notice when I go
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outside of my window when I'm anxious.
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But it's harder to know when that happens, when I'm feeling depressed
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because maybe we don't really think about depression as being dysregulated.
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And it is.
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And so if we're dysregulated, we're in need of something.
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Right.
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And so that can be helpful, a helpful kind of.
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Way to think about, oh, when I'm feeling down, I, I need, like I'm in need of doing
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something to help myself feel better.
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Yeah, I love all of this.
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I'm sure y'all can tell how wise Lauren is, just hearing her talk and Yeah.
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That identification of building.
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Well, first of all, the insight around, oh, okay, I might be feeling depressed or
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low mood, or whatever language or verbiage fits your experience is really important.
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And then, so first we have to identify what's going on, and that takes.
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Us pausing, it takes us attuning to ourselves.
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And then the second piece of this is noticing what the unmet need is.
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And so.
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In various seasons of our lives that may look different, right?
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So sometimes if you're feeling low, it may be helpful to tell your best friend
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or somebody that you feel safe with, and then other times maybe you need to go on a
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walk by yourself or whatever it might be.
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And so really playing with some of this and figuring out what
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works for you because we're all so different and honoring whatever
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that need is that shows up for you.
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And just the both, that intrapersonal connection.
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So that's the idea of connection with myself.
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And then like Lauren talked about the connection with others, which
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is that interpersonal connection.
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And no matter whether we're introverted or extroverted, we all need other
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people that we feel safe with.
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And that.
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Who, who really see us.
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And you know, one of the things that I love about Lauren, this just
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happened yesterday, but I was heating up my lunch and I was a little quiet.
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And normally if I go in the kitchen I'm kind of rambunctious and I'm
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a little bit clumsy and so I'm probably dropping water or coffee.
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And people that know me can like laugh with me about this.
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But she just looked at me and she was like, are you okay?
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And.
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I, I wasn't necessarily depressed yesterday, but something had happened
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and I was feeling a little bit low.
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And so people that know us well and see us in those moments of low mood, just feeling
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seen was what I needed in that moment.
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And then, you know, I was able to talk through it a little bit
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with her and then I felt better.
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And so I'm not, I'm not trying to trivialize or minimize
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your depression if you are.
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Going through significant depression right now.
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And we also wanna be careful not to discount the small moments of
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connection with ourselves or others.
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And those are, those add up over time.
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And then help us, like Lauren talked about, get back in
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our window of tolerance.
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And so we hope these ideas were helpful for y'all.
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If you are struggling with depression, we, we see you and, and
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we're with you and we know that.
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There is not a quick fix.
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And we know that people can really, really struggle and it can be, it
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can feel like an uphill battle.
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And so we're with you guys through that.
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We wanted to offer, you know, an affirmation for you, so just this
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idea of something to take with you.
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So definitely look into the concept of both behavioral
22:21
activation and opposite action.
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And then one thing that I love to think about when I'm feeling low mood
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is just this idea that even in the middle of low mood episodes or moments,
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I am capable of experiencing joy.
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Or maybe I'm, I'm capable of finding pockets of joy.
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So like Lauren talked about, if she's experiencing low mood, going
22:44
and playing on the trampoline with her son, that is a pocket of joy.
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And I just love this idea that even, even through moments of low mood,
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we're capable of experiencing joy.
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And you can interchange that word with joy or gratitude or peace or hope or whatever
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feels true for you in that moment.
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Yeah, that's not to invalidate or try and make your, sadness or
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loneliness or whatever it is, go away.
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It's to empower you to take action.
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It's to help, it's to help give you a sense of empowerment that
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you have some kind of control over what is happening in your space.
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And typically when we're feeling depressed, we don't
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yet know exactly what the.
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What the core emotions are that are going on.
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And so when we can identify, oh, I am sad, I am lonely, then we can take action.
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We do know what we need.
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And so that really is to empower and to, to encourage not to say your depression
23:49
should just, just, you know, feel joy instead of the depression that you have.
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It's this idea of like dialectical thinking and we can talk
23:58
about that in another episode.
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But holding both right and that flexibility for holding both.
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So yeah, certainly not to invalidate any struggles, but more so just
24:08
to empower, like Lauren said.
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So your homework for this episode, look into those things that we talked about.
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And then also just be kind and gentle to with yourself, practice some affirmations
24:20
and then maybe build some insight around.
24:23
Maybe what behaviors contribute to depression, and then what behaviors
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help you, you know, lift some of those symptoms of depression?
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I.
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We love to give homework as therapists and so we wanted that to
24:40
be a part of this podcast as well.
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So really practical takeaways.
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And so yeah, your homework is just to look into and maybe spend some time
24:49
journaling or put it in the notes section on your phone and think through
24:54
what helps you when you're feeling low and, and maybe what is hurting you.
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So we're so excited for you guys to be on this journey with us.
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Thanks for joining us today.
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Thanks guys.