Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Jon Ossoff Upsets Trump & Natalie Harp — Then Gets Called Pee-Wee Herman | Breaking Absurdity Ep. 29

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Jon Ossoff Upsets Trump & Natalie Harp — Then Gets Called Pee-Wee Herman | Breaking Absurdity Ep. 29 · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  Trump's assistant, Natalie Harp, was just invited
• 0:02
  into the group chat, globally, by Senator John
• 0:06
  Ossoff in a viral exchange involving the pair's
• 0:09
  rather unusual discussion of Trump's defenseless
• 0:11
  flying palace. In retaliation, Trump responded
• 0:15
  by giving John Ossoff a new name, Pee Wee Herman.
• 0:18
  John is reportedly considering his response,
• 0:21
  we recommend, I know you are, but what am I?
• 0:24
  Meanwhile, in an apparent attempt to avoid difficult
• 0:27
  questions from reporters, Trump chose instead
• 0:30
  to deeply interrogate a young male lifeguard
• 0:32
  about surf life. Melania Watch has officially
• 0:36
  been extended to day 30 as everyone is asking,
• 0:39
  where's Melania? And Trump's hair appears to
• 0:42
  have declared independence, making a break for
• 0:44
  freedom next to Air Force One. It's time for
• 0:48
  Breaking Absurdity. Everything you didn't know
• 0:52
  you needed to know today, but wish you hadn't.
• 0:54
  Ads help keep the lights on here at It's Not
• 0:56
  Satire. But if ads give you the ick, let me help
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  you with that. If you want all the absurdity
• 1:01
  without the ads, subscribe to my sub stack and
• 1:03
  look for the ad free podcast option. The link
• 1:06
  is in the show notes. Now let's get into the
• 1:08
  absurdity. So let's start with Natalie Harp.
• 1:11
  Because if you've been following our channel,
• 1:13
  you already know that we've been keeping an eye
• 1:14
  on this particular White House relationship for
• 1:17
  quite some time. But now Senator John Ossoff
• 1:20
  has decided to go nuclear and actually talk about
• 1:23
  the relationship that most politicians would
• 1:25
  seem to avoid. Even Democrats. Ossoff has been
• 1:29
  questioning Trump's unusually close relationship
• 1:32
  with Harp, including her access to the president
• 1:35
  during sensitive travel. The president sleeps
• 1:37
  through his meetings. He golfs and trades stocks.
• 1:44
  See, he doesn't want to do the job. He wants
• 1:48
  to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie
• 1:51
  on their apparently defenseless flying palace
• 1:53
  gifted by the Emir of Qatar. And apparently Trump
• 2:07
  did not appreciate the questions. When a reporter
• 2:10
  asked Trump about Ossoff's comments, Trump responded
• 2:13
  with perhaps the most sophisticated rebuttal
• 2:16
  available to the modern American president, Pee
• 2:18
  -wee Herman. Trump called him Pee Wee Herman
• 2:46
  and it just reminded me that Trump had a different
• 2:48
  name for him before and I think he corrected
• 2:51
  it. Trump and White House spokespeople have subsequently
• 3:00
  gone after Ossoff over his comments. White House
• 3:03
  spokesperson Davis Engel joined in calling Ossoff
• 3:06
  a cringeworthy feminine theater kid, cosplaying
• 3:10
  as Barack Obama. Let's be clear, John Ossoff
• 3:14
  asked an interesting question, and Trump, instead
• 3:16
  of answering, decided to compare Ossoff to a
• 3:19
  zany child -like comedic figure. Which is interesting,
• 3:23
  when you line Ossoff and Trump up next together,
• 3:26
  some, or most of my audience, would say, hey
• 3:29
  pot, meet Kettle. Let me know in the comments
• 3:32
  who you think is zany and childlike. And speaking
• 3:35
  of people who are becoming increasingly difficult
• 3:38
  to locate, Melania Watch continues. In light
• 3:41
  of the comments about Natalie Harp, everyone
• 3:43
  was craning their neck looking around for Melania
• 3:45
  last night at Bedminster Golf Club. Trump attended
• 3:49
  with his entourage, including Natalie Harp. Melania?
• 3:52
  Nowhere to be seen. The first lady has now gone
• 3:55
  roughly 30 days without a public appearance.
• 3:58
  Her last widely reported public appearance was
• 4:01
  July 19th, when she attended the World Cup final
• 4:04
  with Trump. An analysis of her public schedule
• 4:06
  found that she appeared publicly on just 38 days
• 4:09
  during 2026. So naturally, we've started a counter.
• 4:13
  Because if the government can have a national
• 4:15
  debt clock, we can have a where's Melania clock.
• 4:18
  Where is she? We're not suggesting any sinister,
• 4:21
  we're simply saying that the First Lady has been
• 4:23
  remarkably absent from public life. And while
• 4:26
  we're on the subject of Melania, Democrats have
• 4:29
  previously raised the possibility of calling
• 4:31
  her in to testify about what she knows about
• 4:34
  Epstein -related matters, while Melania herself
• 4:37
  has publicly denied being involved in Epstein's
• 4:39
  abuse and called for congressional hearings involving
• 4:42
  survivors. So that's where we are. Melania watched
• 4:46
  day 30. We'll keep you posted, assuming she shows
• 4:49
  up. Now, Trump did actually have an important
• 4:51
  meeting today. He met his 16 -year -old California
• 4:54
  lifeguard named Ryder Williams, who became a
• 4:57
  national hero after rescuing a 10 -year -old
• 4:59
  boy from dangerous surf. Williams was invited
• 5:02
  to the White House after footage of the rescue
• 5:04
  went viral. And honestly, this should have been
• 5:06
  a very wholesome presidential moment. Just try
• 5:08
  to help everybody out as much as you can. What's
• 5:12
  the average age of a lifeguard in your area?
• 5:17
  I'd say a lot of this last year, a lot of them
• 5:19
  were 16 to 17 years old. And you have some that
• 5:21
  make it a profession, right? Yes, sir. A lot.
• 5:24
  So do you have 35, 40, 45 year old? Yes, sir.
• 5:28
  That's great. Trump praised him for being a hero.
• 5:31
  He met the boy he had rescued. Everyone smiled.
• 5:34
  Lovely. But then came the questions from reporters.
• 5:48
  But Trump stalled and kept turning the conversation
• 5:51
  back to the young man's surf life. and they lead
• 5:54
  a beautiful life on the surf, right? And they
• 5:57
  would rather do nothing else. That's very good,
• 6:00
  I think it's great. Trump was very fascinated,
• 6:02
  which is understandable, because when you've
• 6:04
  got a 16 -year -old sitting in front of you who
• 6:06
  just saved a child from drowning, obviously the
• 6:09
  first thing you want to know is, what's your
• 6:11
  surf life like? And this is where the contrast
• 6:14
  becomes interesting, because later, when an actual
• 6:17
  reporter tried to ask Trump difficult questions,
• 6:20
  well, we'll get to that. Because apparently there
• 6:22
  is a very specific hierarchy of questions Trump
• 6:25
  enjoys answering. Young male lifeguard, tell
• 6:28
  me about surfing. Female journalists, how dare
• 6:31
  you? During an Oval Office exchange, CNN reporter
• 6:35
  Kristen Holmes questioned Trump about the controversy
• 6:37
  surrounding Natalie Harp and other matters. Quiet.
• 6:52
  Who are you with? Fake news. You're a fake news.
• 6:58
  You're a loud, boisterous person. You're a fake
• 7:00
  news. Be quiet. Be quiet. Be quiet. You're a
• 7:05
  fake reporter and you report fake news. Go ahead.
• 7:09
  Trump became hostile toward her and attacked
• 7:11
  her questions in reporting. This is hardly a
• 7:15
  new presidential tradition, but there is something
• 7:17
  almost comically predictable about watching Donald
• 7:20
  Trump move from tell me about your life on the
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  surf to don't ever talk again. Apparently the
• 7:25
  White House has two briefings, Surf Life and
• 7:28
  Shut Up. And finally, some good news for Injeen
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  Carroll. and some very expensive news for Donald
• 7:34
  Trump. The Supreme Court has once again rejected
• 7:36
  Trump's attempt to overturn the 5 million judgment
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  against him. And when I say once again, I mean
• 7:42
  this particular legal journey has had more seasons
• 7:45
  and sequels than Downton Abbey. The jury found
• 7:48
  Trump liable for sexually abusing Carole and
• 7:50
  defaming her and awarding her $5 million in 2023.
• 7:54
  Trump appealed. The appeals court upheld it.
• 7:57
  He went to the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court
• 7:59
  said essentially no thanks. So Trump asked the
• 8:02
  Supreme Court to reconsider saying no and this
• 8:05
  week the Supreme Court said no thanks again.
• 8:08
  Which means this particular $5 million judgment
• 8:11
  is now final. Trump has also paid the judgment.
• 8:14
  which with interest has grown to roughly $5 .6
• 8:17
  million. So congratulations to E. Jean Carroll,
• 8:20
  she has finally received the money. And for Trump,
• 8:23
  well, it's one of those very few moments when
• 8:24
  he faced the full consequences of a verdict that
• 8:27
  didn't go his way. But hold that thought, because
• 8:30
  Trump isn't done with E. Jean Carroll, there's
• 8:32
  still a separate $83 .3 million defamation judgment
• 8:35
  that he's fighting. Instead of settling and making
• 8:38
  these cases go away, Trump prefers a dumpster
• 8:40
  fire of media coverage extended over many years,
• 8:43
  just to keep things interesting. For all of us,
• 8:47
  sadly. And now a story that is genuinely difficult
• 8:49
  to comprehend. A Brazilian national living in
• 8:52
  West Hollywood was detained by ICE during an
• 8:55
  immigration check -in. He had been living in
• 8:57
  the United States for nine years. He had a legal
• 8:59
  right to remain in the country and a valid work
• 9:01
  permit. And then completely out of the blue,
• 9:04
  he received a call telling him he needed to appear
• 9:06
  for an immigration appointment. There is just
• 9:08
  one problem. His actual appointment wasn't until
• 9:11
  November. but he was told to come in anyway.
• 9:14
  So he did what you would expect someone who is
• 9:16
  legally entitled to be in the country to do.
• 9:18
  He showed up, and when he arrived, ICE detained
• 9:21
  him. And it gets even harder to understand from
• 9:24
  there. According to his lawyers, he's then facing
• 9:27
  deportation to Guiana. Let me remind you, he's
• 9:30
  Brazilian, he's not from Guiana, he's never lived
• 9:33
  in Guiana, and apparently that is now a possibility
• 9:36
  under the way the Trump administration is carrying
• 9:38
  out deportations to third countries. There's
• 9:41
  another detail that makes this particularly heartbreaking.
• 9:44
  He is a dog in West Hollywood, a dog he's been
• 9:47
  separated from while he remains detained. So
• 9:49
  let's pause there. This is someone who spent
• 9:51
  nine years in the US. He had legal authorization
• 9:54
  to remain here. He had a work permit. He had
• 9:56
  an immigration appointment scheduled for November.
• 9:59
  He received a call telling him to come in months
• 10:02
  earlier than that appointment. He complied. He
• 10:05
  went to the appointment and then he was detained.
• 10:07
  And now according to the lawyers, the proposed
• 10:09
  destination isn't even Brazil, it's Guiana. His
• 10:13
  lawyers are challenging the proposed deportation
• 10:15
  and a federal judge has temporarily blocked the
• 10:18
  removal while the legal case continues. And finally,
• 10:21
  we have an extremely important national security
• 10:23
  development, Trump's hair. As Trump was walking
• 10:26
  toward Air Force One, strong winds sent the hair
• 10:29
  into a state of apparent rebellion. And honestly,
• 10:32
  I don't know what happened here. We've seen this
• 10:34
  movie before. The wind has historically been
• 10:37
  one of the few forces on earth capable of defeating
• 10:39
  Donald Trump's hair. And this latest incident
• 10:42
  appears to have been no different. At one point,
• 10:45
  the hair seems to separate from the rest of the
• 10:47
  administration entirely. We can only hope it
• 10:49
  has been located. Because America has enough
• 10:51
  missing people right now, we don't need to add
• 10:53
  Trump's hair to the list. And there you have
• 10:55
  it. Another day of breaking absurdity. Your daily
• 10:58
  reminder that this is not normal. Be sure to
• 11:01
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• 11:03
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  thing, then remember to check out the ad -free
• 11:08
  version of this podcast on my sub stack. Just
• 11:10
  click on the link in the show notes and look
• 11:12
  for the ad -free podcast and the subscription
• 11:14
  options.