Latest / The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast / #201: What To Do When Trauma Memories Surface (Nervous System, Forgiveness, Control)

Transcript

#201: What To Do When Trauma Memories Surface (Nervous System, Forgiveness, Control) · The Hotmomz Lifestyle Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Casey here.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do a live stream.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna answer questions about trauma.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Tella.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're here to lose weight, stick around because you're gonna want to hear this shit.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: This is for women who have struggled with their body.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: They know deep down that they're smart in every area.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: They're like, I'm a bad bitch in every area.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: But why, like, why is this one area?
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Why is Movani?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Why is it something that I struggle with?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I always losing and gaining the same 10 pounds and I can't keep my shit together and I'm drifting back into my old ways?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: You've done the work.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: What gifts?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna talk about it.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: If at any time you want my shit, you're like, bitch, this is speaking to my soul, then come in, apply.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: And what we'll do is maybe qualify for the decoder because I can see patterns.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I can see the shit in the I can just see the shit.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: That is what I do.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: That is why I have thousands and thousands of positive case studies and women just ran raid over my works because I can see my gifts or I can see the patterns, and that way you don't have to waste fucking time doing a bunch of bullshit.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can just see the pattern, we can clear it.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: So comment and apply, and I'll send you that.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now let's get into it.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: This is a client.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: She had this question, and I'm gonna post this inside of my mastermind community.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I figured I'm like this would be a great thing to do on Instagram as well.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Trigger one.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: This does include trauma stuff.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're honestly approaching your body and you're just focusing on macros or just hormones or just workouts, you're missing a whole thing.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I work with very educated women.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: Some of them are physicians, they're body special specialists, they do body work themselves.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And they still work with me because they know what to do.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: They just appreciate having someone who can see them on a certain level and know what to do.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: And they know that I get to the root issue, which is in the identities and the nervous system and it all from the trauma.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Trauma is pretty much if you're stuck, if there's something that is a struggle, it just feels like you're stuck.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's usually some trauma play in at play here.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: And not until I address my body with a trauma-informed approach to fitness did anything start shifting.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I hadn't told the storectomy at 33, perimenopause in my 20s, doctors were told me I was normal when I was doing all the things to lose fat.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Even being a former fitness model coming out of all that, I had no idea that my laps were not normal.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: But most of all, I had so much trauma in my nervous system.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't do nervous system regulation work without addressing the trauma stuff.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what she said.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: She just saw a note with one-to-one.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So remember, if you work with me, you don't have to do one-to-one where we go, it's faster.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Doing one to one with me is faster, costs a little more, but we have things that you don't have to do that and you can tiptoe in.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Not tiptoe, I don't want to say that.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to go in and you want to do it like some people just prefer to get in the pool by jumping off the diving board.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: Some people prefer to tease it, foreplay, and put their toes in the water in the shallowing and then get in the beep in.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was always the diving pool type girl.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So she said a lot of surfacing very quickly.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling overwhelmed by how fast things are coming up.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing the exercises before some exercises before bed to help me relax.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The last two nights, though, they brought up actual trauma memories that I rarely consciously think about.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then this morning, I was listening to a pot, I was listening to a podcast about forgiveness and realized I still carry so much blame towards the abuser and the belief that this traumatic experience derailed my life for 10 years.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I started trying to do the work through it, using the idea that I can't control other adults' behavior and that I'm responsible for my own thoughts and choices after.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: But that quickly turned into looking at all the ways I'm blaming myself, not reporting it, protecting him, believing he was more important than I was, and believing I was forever broken.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: While processing all of this, I became intensely physically overwhelmed, nauseous, dry heaving, feeling like I might pass out.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: The bigger pattern I noticed is that I barely have time to process one realization before another one comes up.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Part of me feels like I need to process, fix, release everything immediately.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if that's helpful or if I'm overwhelming myself.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: I need help with the following.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, should I continue the exercises if they're bringing up trolla memories this intensely or modify, stop them for now?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, just start with number one.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Should I read the qu I'll just read all the questions and then I'll start with number one.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, how do I work with what's surfacing without trying to process years of lived experiences and trauma all at once?
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then number three is how do I separate taking responsibility for my healing now from taking responsibility for what he or what was done to me then?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, there's only five.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, is forgiveness even something I need to be working towards here?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Last question what should my next step be?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Nervous system work, therapy, the courses that you have are simply slowing down and stabilizing before going deeper.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so here we go.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Trauma-informed fitness and health coach here.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing this, but more importantly, I've lived it.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I have lived experiences.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I am embodied in a very specific type of trauma-informed approach when it comes to women who struggle with their bodies and or in life in general, where they feel like there's not enough time.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's not enough, there's not enough time, and they're always just something's off with their body.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's always just something they're focusing on.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It could be their health or their weight or their body, and it just feels like they can never get there.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And that's really where I stay.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: All right, so the the answer to number one.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number one is should I continue the exercise as if they're bringing up trauma memories this intensely or modify or stop in for now?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the deal.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: This woman is clearly in my work.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: She has the nervous system app that we have.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: I created it just for this so that when you spiral, she can bring you back.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: The app can bring you back, it can help your body feel safe again and all these things.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't know, if you've never, if you've never struggled with anxiety attacks, panic attacks, if you've never struggled with feeling overwhelmed, if you've never struggled with feeling like afraid of your own feelings, almost like there, if you go there, something bad's gonna happen, then you won't understand this.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But if you do, you'll get it.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: So here's what I suggest with this woman particularly, okay.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: First and foremost, the one thing I would do with her after facilitating many sessions is when anything like this happens, there's a lot of things you can do.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: But the main thing you do is a just deep breathe, like through your nose, and you tell yourself, This is just a feeling, I'm okay, I'm safe.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: And you may get taken away with it, okay?
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's like a bad trip if you've ever done like a it could be like a bad trip.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: If anybody on here ever does, so it's staring when it happens, right?
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And who here's had panic attacks?
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just put in the comments, like saying me, if you've ever had a panic attack or an anxiety attack, like it's really scary.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, Layla.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is this a Layla from Atlanta?
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I would say I would encourage her to starfish.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I would encourage you to surrender fully, lay in Shibasana, late, just lay down and breathe.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: You can even put your legs up on the wall if you need to.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: That way your HRB comes down, your heart reverability, so your body knows it's safe.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: But if it's really intense, okay, just know it's not going to last forever.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: The sun will come up, this will pass.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: You are not your emotion.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's passing through you because the body keeps score of everything.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: Because so if your body weight's not moving, it's literally holding on to an old idea.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It's holding on to something, and my work just shows you how to uncover it and move forward.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: This case right here, this woman is clearly she is diving deep into it.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: Because we have other clients and they're just focusing on their macros or they're focusing on their blood work, right?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: This woman is clearly here for she's like, I want to excavate.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: And that's not for everybody.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: So for her, I would say, first, let's just know you're not dying, nothing bad's gonna happen.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: We want to teach your body that it's safe.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you can even do things, it depends on what comes up, all right?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's different.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: You may want to scream, to rip something, to to shake, to move, to fucking dance, to scream, to honor what is what your body's trying to do.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: You may need to shake, you may need to do something somatic that lets it pass through instead of just trying to stay still.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times people say, Oh, just calm down and breathe.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: If you're having this kind of thing come up, that intense, you need to move, you need to walk, you need to stall, you need to get a lay on the bed and just fucking go ape shit and let the energy out and scream and get it out.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then your body will come back down.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: That way you're showing your body, hey, I can feel this intense emotion.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's safe to feel this, and then I'm still okay.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's beautiful nervous system work right there because nervous system regulation is not just be calm or just breathe or just don't people everybody thinks nervous system regulation is just just be calm.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: That is so fucking not the case.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Nervous system regulation looks like feel your fucking rage, whatever's coming up right now, and then come back to yourself.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's regulation.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: But what most women do is they avoid feelings all in all.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: That's why they avoid signing up, they avoid taking action, they avoid because they're trying to avoid uncomfort, they're trying to discomfort, they're trying to avoid disappointment, they're trying to avoid fear.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, what is it's real?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get curious.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to go in that direction.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna bring myself back to this.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: But regulation is just coming back to yourself.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's when the kids go to school, when the kids when the holidays roll in, when you're when the mom dies, when you get a back phone call and the dog eats the potato, you have to take it to the vet.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Can you still come back to yourself and still eat well that day?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Can you still are you still hurt?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Can you still put the reps in to work out?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you always get thrown off and just fall off the wagon?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: That's a dead giveaway that if you if you can't stay consistent, not saying deconsistent things that are miserable like dieting.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: We don't diet.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can't stay consistent, it usually means one of two things.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it's not sustainable.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: You're trying to do shit that's just not like walk five, 10,000 steps today.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Who the fuck?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's I'm sorry.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you're ready to lose weight without cardio, you work with me.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it's not sustainable.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Number two, something in you doesn't feel safe having the outcome.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And today on PowerCode, we literally walked through many, we walked through three to five stories where women were wanting more money, they were wanting a better body, and we walked through it quickly.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: They found out what their block was.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: They found out, like, oh my god, I never feel that.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: That is literally what I'm thinking.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder the money was blocked.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder I wasn't making the money that I wanted to make.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder money felt scary.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: No wonder my body wasn't changing.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: Holy shit.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: So for the for number one here, I would say, I never want you to be afraid to let things come up.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: We want we want to train the body that things can come up and we're still okay.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I give you tools that can do this, but that's not that's the answer to number one.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Number two is how do I work with what's surfacing without trying to process years of trauma all at once?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So that's where control comes.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's and first thing you do is understand that we're gonna die physically from this body.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna die.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And you cannot process the trauma just from being a human.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's literally just being human is traumatic.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Being the physical is traumatic.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So stop trying to think you've got to heal your way and earn your way fit, earn your way, heal your way rich.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is there work involved to change your mind, your behaviors, your patterns?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: But you do not need to go in and excavate and do all this hardcore heavy work.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, like today it was this woman, it was as simple as and next.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what's next?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: This is an expected thing.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: The first of you that already has it wouldn't be doing all this work because she already has it.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So everybody's different.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: But for this specific situation, what I would say is, no, the part of you that wants to go and excavate all the trauma at once is control.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's saying, I want it all out now.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's a good thing because when you declare this, when you say this over your body, when you're like, I'm ready to get it out, that's good.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's a willingness and that's what's needed to truly heal.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I say, yes, keep repeating out loud.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for helping me get this out.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm ready to get this out.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: But to think you have to process all at one time, I know it may feel that way, but what's really happening is your body finally feels safe to process.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So when your body feels safe enough, things will come up.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's almost like, it's almost like a little kid.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: If they when they, you know how they'll wait till they feel like you're in a good mood to that, so they'll ask you if they can have something.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of the same thing.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when you start to do the healing work and your body truly feels safe, yeah, you may have some stuff come up.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: So no, you do not go and excavate everything at once.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna come up anyway.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can't force a cat to come out of a room.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: You can't force a kid to take a shit.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you you can't force this, okay?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Processing trauma, the fastest way, if you want the fastest way to do it, is you you focus on what you want.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Right now, put in the comments.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you want?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: You focus on what you want.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: I want the body.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, why do you want it?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: What's it gonna feel like?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anchor it in the money, the career.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, focus on what do you want in life?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want in this life?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you want to be in this life?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: You need to just know these things, okay?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: And what you do is like you would say, I want to be hot as fuck, okay?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: You work with hot homes, you work with KC ship if you want to be hot as fuck.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because we get to the root issue of why anything has ever worked for you.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you know what you fucking want.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you say, Okay, I want to be hot as fuck, all right?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: You start working with me.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the best way to heal and clear trauma would be to work with me.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: And then the next step would be to pay me.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: Next step would be to show up and one-to-one and say, All right, I got this done.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's taking action towards that thing.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you heal trauma.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: How is that, Casey?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Because the very reason women watch and don't take action is they have little personal power.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: Their power is circumstantial once the time is right, once I have more information, once I have the money.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, everything is circumstantial.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: Their power is circumstantial, their power is not inside of them.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hello.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: So Skiff's gonna join us.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not really.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Are you in here for oh, perfect?
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you take action fast towards the thing because she's gonna say, Let me just wait.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: This may cost money, I may fail.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's fucking trauma.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to heal it quickly, you get uncomfortable.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: You say, Okay, here's what I'm gonna do.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: I can feel the fear of paying this woman.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it anyway.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna see what's on the other side.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I trust this makes sense.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: I trust, because trusting and keeping your forehead open and continuing to move forward opens you up to everything that you want instead of contracting, just not taking action out of fear and whack or scarcity.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: So the fastest way to heal trauma is to know what you want, know exactly what you want and go for it.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: Go for it quickly.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: Take fucking action.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Don't sit around and wait on shit.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: Don't sit around and think about shit.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's coming, blowing up in the mass one.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: So the fastest way to heal trauma is take massive fucking action towards the thing you want.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then where's the where's the obstacles?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: What are the obstacles?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's a woman in the DMs, and she was like, I'm just terrified to drop this money.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so scared to spend money.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, there's the first block.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: We work through that.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: She had an epiphany, she had a breakthrough.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: Boom, we go to the next one.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: So if like, where's the obstacle?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where what's blocking you?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's the fucking trauma line, and you go for it.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: What's the next thing that comes up?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: What's the next roadblock?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: What's the next shit storm?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Boom.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: We cover that one too, right?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the fastest way to heal trauma, is you constantly and you set your goal, what you want, and you go for it.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's the fastest way to heal trauma.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you're going to kid yourself and think that you're healing, would really, then you'll just be like all the other women who are stuffing crystals up there yawning and talking about feminine woundwork shit.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: They're still overweight, they're still living in trauma situation.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: But oh, they do all the moon stuff and they do all the stuff and they're big healers, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: They're lost in spiritualism, they're lost in spirituality, they're lost in healing.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: But it still comes from the thing of I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: You're just gonna get lost in spirituality, you're gonna get lost in healing.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: But the ego loves that.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: The part of you that loves I'm just working and I'm doing the work so that I can have the thing, you're wasting your time, but the ego loves that.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: It'll keep you really busy.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_00: But the fastest way to heal trauma is know what you fucking want and take fucking action, even if you're scared to spend money, even if you're afraid you're gonna fail.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's the trauma.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: You take action, especially with something like what we have, because we show you where the trauma is and we show you how to rewire your fucking nervous system and your brain so that you're you can have what you want, actually hold what you want.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: You can make the money and keep the money, you can get the results of the body and keep the body.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number three, how do I separate taking responsibility for my healing now from taking responsibility for what was done to me then?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: So anything that's like this was done to me is already what she's doing.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Anything that was done to you is you have to sit with the pain.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: You have to sit with the it's gonna come up.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And don't think because you address this once, it's never gonna come up again.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: It there's layers to shit.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the that's why regulation and having a healthy, fit body and emotional intelligence is every fucking thing.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: If not, your life's gonna go down the shithole.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have bad relationships, you're gonna be a victim of circumstance, you're gonna be like 98% of everybody else who literally gains weight in the wintertime, gains weight in the summertime, gets off track.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody's like that.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're and you're not like that, you're tired of being normies, you're tired of being normal.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: How do you separate taking responsibility for your healing versus what happened?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's all one.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's all one.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's all one anyway.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when you take responsibility for yourself and you let these things come up and you move through them with support, it's it works from both parties.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, can you do the ho porno prayer?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Please forgive me.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, LV.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to have a willingness anyway to see things in a completely different paradigm.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing to change your fucking mind.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have to be willing to grow.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not comfortable.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's not fucking comfortable.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you don't not gonna like what I have to what I have to say.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you are not gonna like what you hear from the nervous system out.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna like that you are peregtifying or your parents.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: You're not gonna like to hear that you're you or when you get anxious, you try to control things, and that's why you can't lose weight.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you want to hear that because you're like, I want to fucking get help.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_00: Please.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm that way.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, just tell me what the fuck I'm not seeing because I'm tired of feeling like this.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's usually the best people I can help.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, number four, is forgiveness even something I need to be working towards here.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: If if it's forced, none.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: The only time I was ever able to forgive is just deepening into the word.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: The more I went in and focused and rewired my patterns, the people, places, and things that hurt me, I understood more and more that, like why that happened, and I could understand it better.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: But just because you forgive somebody does not mean it's okay.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Those of you who've been abused, you're abusers, you murderers, you don't have doesn't mean that it's okay.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but it is all okay now.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's all your body needs to know.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: Is that what was ha what happened was not okay.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, but it's okay now, and that's what you anchor in, and that's what you honor inside your body.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: So forgiveness is right now hearing these questions, it's like you see how much she's saying, she thinks she has to do everything.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: The it's already in her cells, it's already in her body.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: All she has to do is let go, get out of the way, and create a body that feels safe, which is don't rush around, okay?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Eat well, exercise, and become the type of woman who her younger self would have felt safe around.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: That's literally what you do, okay?
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because now if you go and say, I forgave this person, well, I have control and charge here.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: What do you do?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ego loves that shit.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: So don't worry about that.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: Last question is what should my next step be?
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Should it be therapy, nervous system work, the courses simply slowing down and say, Why is it before we're going deeper?
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: So the next step is I think I've already answered the question because you're already doing nervous system work.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think now you just understand it a little bit better.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy is always a great idea, especially for women who carry a lot of burden and carry a lot of responsibility because people like me, the women that I work with, they're usually career women, high earners, women who have a lot of responsibility, and they're always the one who has the answers and makes the decisions and runs the show.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_00: So it's important that we have that type of support.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: And that's why we do offer one-to-one is because we hold you.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: We are someone who can deeply see you and we understand how hold a woman who's very high performing and growing in capacity.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: We get that.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: So therapy is great.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Therapy is supportive.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_00: I never met anyone nor myself who has changed their life with therapy.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: It's supportive.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: So just think of therapy as extra support.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: That's just it's just nice to have.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Even EMDR, it's powerful, but you still kind of be willy.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_00: There was a woman who joined our program and she goes, I've been doing EMDR for years.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: I worked with you, and my session of EMDR after joining your program was by far, hands down, the most profound EMDR session.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's because therapy is just, it's almost like a lot of people are educated.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: So it's education-based.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not lived experience, it's not embodiment.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: It's there's that.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Most of it's not trauma-informed, they're won by a certain thing.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_00: Most people are not truly gifted.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: They're just like, oh, this would be fun.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: They went to school, whatever.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I love, I've met some therapists that I fucking love.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: But in a therapy, you gotta make sure you find somebody that's not judgmental.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: If you are healing from shame, you don't need somebody that's the Christian, you don't need a Christian therapist.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: You don't.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because they're gonna have religious, they're gonna be, there's a layer of rules they're gonna come from that if you're trying to clear shame, they're gonna, it's gonna be hard for them not to project judgments and shame from their brain onto you.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: So the therapy is it's great and it's supportive.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I want literally, I if we had a philanthropist, if we had a oh show, if we had, you know, what it is to do philanthropy would be like to have licensed therapists, like good ones, like freaking good ones that actually like their fucking job, to work in school systems, to know to not work with kids who get sent to the office or anything like that.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: Just the teachers are in on it, the teachers are trained.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: This is in a perfect world.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: The teachers are trained in emotional intelligence work and personal growth, and they can pick up on because a lot of the kids that are like problem kids get the attention.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: But what what doesn't get the attention is the star athlete who's who's holding amidst levels of pressure at home.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_00: Though those kids, they have to they literally grow up and they're all medicated.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's right.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: I want teachers to be able to pull these students out.
• 20:49
  SPEAKER_00: Good therapists come in, because you never know.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_00: These some of these kids are going through shit at home, and it's not gonna come out at school because they know how to hold it in.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: They know how to be the glue.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: They're not so, yeah, in a perfect world, it would be cool to have therapists that could go in and help these kids on this level.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: But so I'm not saying therapy, I'm not trying to undermine therapy.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's just I've as a specialist in trauma-informed healing, especially around body work and helping women and men get healthy and some of them to come off 20 years project, for some of them to be alcoholics and no longer alcoholics, and to actually get healthy, I've been doing it for 17 years and I've done it for myself.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: I've just never been too impressed with therapy because they're also therapists have to stay within a scope of practice.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes, if you've ever watched that show Shrinking, and Jimmy, you know, the Jimmy, the therapist, I'm more like Jimmy.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_00: He's like a life coach where he will go way on the scope of practice, but it's to change the person's life.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, he's got his own shit, but to me, that's the vibe.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, I support therapy, but here she can get therapy if she wants.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: Nervous system work she's already doing.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: The course is like, stop stacking things you need to do.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, the version of you who has the body, the version who has the money, and the version of you who has the books and is significant and your you know your work matters.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: What is she doing right now?
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: How is she behaving?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: How does she go through her day?
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: Is she working out?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: And so you start behaving and being her because you're already her.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what needs to happen.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: So the answer to number five would simply be slowing down and stabilizing and knowing that whatever comes your way, you're gonna be okay, and making sure you have support.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: She does, she has us of support, and if she goes and herself therapist, she's doing the nervous system work.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's all the things.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, don't force a slowdown.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: Keep doing whatever you are doing to let this surface and know just like today, you're okay.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if it exacerbates things and it causes panic and see PTSD to come up, yes, therapy would be great.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and pull out, don't do those, maybe do and soon every night.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you do once a week, and it's a ceremony.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you light candles and you have a ceremony for this.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so many ways to do this, and of course, make sure you're using the hot body app, the hot body AI and the app, because she's trained as a nervous system regulator, so that when you're freaking out, you're like, oh my god, I want to work with Casey, but I'm scared shitless to spend money, but I know I need to do this, okay?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: You need to become the woman who can feel the fear and do it anyway and know she's gonna be okay.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're like, I feel fat today, and all I want to do is restrict my calories, help me to regulate and be the woman who already has the body.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: She's regulated, she's sexy, she doesn't even have to try.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: What is she thinking about this?
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: And let it show you how you need to be thinking, okay?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because all that's going on right now, your body, your life, everything is a conglomerate of your thoughts you've been thinking your whole life, your identity, who you think you are, things that's happened to you, things that didn't happen to you.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's that's all that's going on.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so all we do is what do you want?
• 23:43
  unknown: What is it?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want?
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you go for it.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't put it off, you don't say tomorrow, you don't say when money's there, you don't say when the kids are this, you do it now.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you get everything you fucking want and quickly.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how you heal generational curses and patterns and get everything you fucking want.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna put this inside of our mastermind.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: If you feel cold, if you're ready to end the cycle things not working out around the body and the weight, the hormones and the low energy, then you work with me.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: My work is for you.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: Go to caseship.com forward slash register or DM comment apply.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: And if you qualify for the body decoder session, what's gonna happen is there will be a long intake form.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Not gonna lie, it's pretty long, but there is, it's easy.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a ton of written stuff.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Once I see that, we're gonna message you in the DMs and Instagram, and I'm gonna sh go over exactly here's what's wrong, here's what's off, here's what needs to happen to get you from where you're at to where you want to be.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's very simple.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you can do it with us or not.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: So we've got something for anybody and everybody.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: All you have to do is have the desire to want a better body without doing cardio, without living in misery and feeling punished, so that you can actually feel free and happy and confident and be healthy, be present with your family and get everything you want.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Just be happy and sexy and hot.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: So that's you, comment, DM, apply.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: We'll get that over to you.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, I will talk to you so be all the podcast, the Hot Love's Lifestyle Podcast.