Latest / Work Stress Anxiety | Burnout Prevention & Work Anxiety Help / Are You Exhausted from Fixing Their Moods? The Hidden Cost of the Rescue Reflex

Transcript

Are You Exhausted from Fixing Their Moods? The Hidden Cost of the Rescue Reflex · Work Stress Anxiety | Burnout Prevention & Work Anxiety Help

• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I'm Cheryl and welcome to ABGW, which means amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm starting a little mini series here again.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is a small, steady space for people who carry a lot, who think deeply like me, and don't always give themselves five minutes quiet time.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So over the next few short episodes, we'll be slowing things down, just enough to help your nervous system remember that calm isn't something you earn, it's something you practice.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: So wherever you are, find your breath, find a little space, and let's begin.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Remember you are amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not because your weak is, but because you are.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Even when you're running on caffeine, duty, and spite, today's problem, you're tiptoeing around someone, someone's mood at work, like it's a I don't know, live wire.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: And what I want you to think about is if I set a boundary, I'll look difficult, disloyal, not a team leader, and that's not true.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the bleakly relatable part.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: When you're a senior, you don't just manage work, you actually manage the atmosphere.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: You walk into a meeting and you can sense it, the tight jewel, the clipped tone, the cold silence that says someone's having a day and you're all to pay for it.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And because you're intelligent and you're capable and you do what most competent women do, you adapt, right?
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: You soften, you anticipate, you sometimes overfunction, and then later you repay the whole thing.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do wrong?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: The thing is, your job today is not to fix the mood, it's to notice what's going on for you on the inside.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I remember once watching a woman in a leadership meeting shrink in real time.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: One sigh from a senior person, and suddenly she was explaining to herself like she'd been caught stealing the stationery.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: That was the moment it hit me.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Mood can become an unofficial hierarchy.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's like when you walk into a room where the atmosphere is broken, everyone's freezing, and instead of fixing the thermometer, you're apologizing for not being warm enough.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: So here's the reframe.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, a boundary isn't loyalty, disloyalty, disloyalty, it's role clarification.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: So right now, if you can, I want you to feel your feet.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to drop your shoulders a millimeter or two.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to unclench your jaw and say silently, the mood is information, it's not instruction.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: One thing you can think of today is I want to keep this constructive.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: What decisions we are making and what we need from me, what are the decisions that you need from me?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: In the next episode, we'll tackle the bit nobody says out loud, but it's complicated, you don't understand the dynamics.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: If something in today's episode landed for you, even quietly, that matters.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't want to make a big deal out of it.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: I just want you to notice what it was because that's information.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if you'd like a bit of extra support, you can download my new emotional first aid to kit at herguru.co.uk if you want resources like this.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's here for moments like this where you need to take a pause.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Why not take this pause with you?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because remember, every step you take, no matter how small, is a step towards a brighter, more balanced future.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Trust in your journey.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, progress is progress no matter the pace.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: Bye for now.