Latest / Women in The Coaching Arena / 107 | Exploring Shadow Work: A Conversation with Teresa Wilson

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107 | Exploring Shadow Work: A Conversation with Teresa Wilson · Women in The Coaching Arena

1:39
Hello
1:39
and
1:40
welcome
1:40
to
1:40
Women
1:40
in
1:41
the
1:41
Coaching
1:41
arena
1:42
podcast.
1:42
I'm
1:43
so
1:43
glad
1:43
you're
1:43
here.
1:44
I'm
1:45
Jo
1:45
Lott,
1:45
a
1:46
business
1:46
mentor
1:46
and
1:47
ICF
1:47
accredited
1:48
coach
1:48
and
1:49
I
1:49
help
1:49
coaches
1:50
to
1:50
build
1:50
brilliant
1:51
businesses.
1:53
I
1:53
know
1:53
that
1:54
when
1:54
you
1:54
prepare
1:54
to
1:55
enter
1:55
the
1:55
arena
1:56
there
1:56
is
1:56
fear,
1:57
self
1:57
doubt,
1:58
comparison,
1:59
anxiety,
2:00
uncertainty.
2:01
You
2:02
can
2:02
tend
2:02
to
2:03
armor
2:03
up
2:04
and
2:04
protect
2:04
yourself
2:05
from
2:05
vulnerability.
2:07
In
2:08
this
2:08
podcast
2:08
I'll
2:09
be
2:09
sharing
2:09
honest,
2:09
not
2:10
hype,
2:10
practical
2:11
and
2:11
emotional
2:12
tools
2:12
to
2:12
support
2:13
you
2:13
to
2:13
make
2:13
the
2:13
difference
2:14
that
2:14
you're
2:14
here
2:15
for
2:15
dare
2:16
greatly
2:16
you
2:17
belong
2:17
in
2:18
this
2:18
arena.
2:20
Hello,
2:21
welcome
2:21
to
2:21
episode
2:22
107
2:22
of
2:23
Women
2:23
in
2:23
the
2:23
Coaching
2:24
Arena.
2:24
I
2:24
am
2:24
so
2:25
glad
2:25
you
2:25
are
2:25
here
2:26
today.
2:27
I'm
2:27
really
2:27
excited
2:28
to
2:28
have
2:28
Teresa
2:29
Wilson
2:29
on
2:30
the
2:30
podcast.
2:31
She
2:31
has
2:32
the
2:32
most
2:33
wonderful
2:33
grounding
2:34
energy
2:35
I
2:35
think
2:35
I've
2:36
ever
2:36
been
2:37
in
2:37
the
2:37
presence
2:38
of.
2:38
So
2:39
I
2:39
hope
2:39
you
2:39
really
2:40
enjoy
2:40
the
2:40
conversation.
2:42
Teresa
2:42
works
2:43
with
2:43
shadow
2:43
work
2:44
for
2:44
coaches,
2:45
so
2:45
if
2:46
you
2:46
are
2:46
the
2:46
type
2:46
of
2:47
person
2:47
who
2:48
ends
2:48
your
2:48
coaching
2:49
session
2:49
saying
2:50
either
2:50
that
2:51
was
2:51
a
2:51
great
2:51
session
2:52
or
2:52
that
2:53
was
2:53
a
2:53
bad
2:54
session,
2:55
then
2:55
you
2:55
will
2:55
gain
2:56
so
2:56
much
2:56
from
2:56
this
2:57
conversation.
2:58
Teresa
2:58
is
2:59
on
2:59
a
2:59
mission
2:59
to
2:59
help
3:00
you
3:00
to
3:00
be
3:01
kinder
3:01
to
3:01
yourself
3:02
in
3:02
your
3:03
coaching
3:03
practice
3:04
and
3:04
in
3:04
your
3:05
business
3:05
and
3:05
your
3:06
life
3:06
as
3:06
well.
3:07
So
3:07
I
3:07
really
3:08
hope
3:08
you
3:08
enjoy
3:09
today's
3:09
conversation.
3:10
It
3:10
was
3:10
super
3:11
fun
3:11
to
3:11
explore
3:12
some
3:12
of
3:12
these
3:12
ideas
3:13
with
3:13
Teresa
3:14
live
3:15
and
3:15
I
3:15
know
3:15
you
3:15
will
3:16
gain
3:16
so
3:17
much
3:17
depth
3:18
and
3:18
you
3:18
will
3:18
feel
3:19
so
3:19
grounded
3:19
and
3:20
wonderful
3:20
after
3:21
this
3:21
conversation.
3:23
Hi
3:23
Theresa,
3:24
thank
3:24
you
3:24
so
3:25
much
3:25
for
3:25
joining
3:25
me
3:25
on
3:26
the
3:26
podcast.
3:26
I'm
3:27
so
3:27
excited
3:27
to
3:27
have
3:27
this
3:28
conversation
3:28
because
3:29
I'm
3:29
really
3:29
curious
3:30
about
3:30
the
3:30
topic,
3:30
so
3:31
I
3:31
know
3:31
my
3:31
listeners
3:32
will
3:32
be
3:32
as
3:32
well.
3:33
Please
3:33
share
3:34
a
3:34
bit
3:34
about
3:34
yourself
3:35
and
3:35
what
3:35
you
3:35
do.
3:36
So
3:37
first
3:37
of
3:37
all,
3:38
thank
3:38
you
3:38
for
3:38
having
3:38
me.
3:38
I'm
3:39
absolutely
3:39
delighted
3:40
to
3:40
have
3:40
the
3:41
chance
3:41
to
3:41
waffle
3:41
on
3:42
about
3:42
a
3:42
subject
3:42
that
3:42
I'm
3:43
really
3:43
passionate
3:43
about.
3:44
I've
3:44
been
3:44
a
3:44
coach
3:45
for
3:45
around
3:45
12
3:46
years,
3:47
various
3:47
associate
3:48
roles
3:48
over
3:49
that
3:49
time,
3:49
but
3:49
I
3:50
always
3:50
knew
3:50
there
3:50
was
3:50
something
3:51
I
3:51
wanted
3:51
to
3:51
do
3:52
for
3:52
myself
3:53
too.
3:54
It's
3:54
been
3:54
like
3:54
sitting
3:55
on
3:55
an
3:55
egg
3:56
for
3:56
12
3:57
years
3:57
waiting
3:57
for
3:58
something
3:58
to
3:58
hatch
3:59
and
4:00
then
4:00
eventually
4:00
the
4:01
thing
4:01
that
4:01
did
4:01
hatch
4:02
started
4:03
for
4:03
me
4:03
personally
4:03
and
4:04
then
4:04
became
4:04
the
4:04
thing
4:04
that
4:04
I
4:05
do
4:05
professionally,
4:06
which
4:06
is
4:07
a
4:07
fascination
4:08
for
4:08
shadow
4:09
work.
4:09
It
4:10
had
4:10
impact
4:10
for
4:11
me
4:11
professionally
4:11
and
4:12
because
4:12
of
4:12
that
4:12
I
4:13
now
4:13
offer
4:14
kind
4:14
of
4:14
the
4:15
how
4:15
tos
4:16
of
4:16
shadow
4:17
work
4:17
to
4:17
other
4:17
coaches.
4:18
That's
4:18
a
4:19
little
4:19
bit
4:19
about
4:19
me
4:19
and
4:19
what
4:19
I
4:20
do.
4:21
It's
4:21
super
4:21
interesting
4:22
and
4:22
I've
4:22
heard
4:23
you
4:23
talk
4:23
about
4:23
this
4:24
so
4:24
many
4:24
times,
4:25
so
4:25
I
4:25
cannot
4:25
wait
4:26
to
4:26
dig
4:26
into.
4:27
Firstly,
4:28
what
4:28
is
4:28
shadow
4:29
work?
4:30
The
4:30
term
4:31
shadow
4:31
is
4:31
attributed
4:32
to
4:32
Jung
4:33
and
4:33
he
4:34
was
4:34
Saying
4:34
that
4:34
when
4:35
it
4:35
comes
4:35
to
4:36
how
4:36
we
4:36
form
4:37
an
4:37
identity,
4:38
we're
4:38
born
4:39
whole.
4:39
And
4:39
I
4:39
sometimes
4:40
think
4:40
that
4:40
when
4:40
you
4:40
look
4:40
at
4:41
babies,
4:41
they
4:42
have
4:42
no
4:42
concept
4:43
of
4:43
needing
4:44
to
4:44
regulate
4:46
for
4:46
themselves.
4:46
They
4:47
simply
4:47
are
4:48
in
4:48
the
4:48
fullness
4:49
of
4:49
themselves,
4:50
which
4:51
means
4:51
they
4:51
can
4:51
be
4:51
pretty
4:51
appalling.
4:53
They
4:53
don't
4:53
have
4:54
manners
4:54
because
4:54
they've
4:54
not
4:55
been
4:55
socialized
4:55
yet.
4:56
So
4:56
they
4:56
might
4:56
grab
4:57
and
4:57
spit
4:57
and
4:58
scream
4:58
and
4:59
snarl
4:59
and
4:59
they
4:59
poop
5:00
and
5:00
put
5:00
their
5:00
hands
5:00
in
5:01
their
5:01
poop.
5:02
And
5:02
as
5:02
adults,
5:03
we
5:03
coo
5:04
at
5:04
them
5:04
and
5:04
make
5:04
kind
5:05
faces
5:05
at
5:06
them
5:06
as
5:06
they
5:06
do
5:06
this
5:07
initially.
5:09
Then
5:09
there
5:09
comes
5:10
a
5:10
point
5:11
when
5:12
we
5:12
kind
5:12
of
5:12
have
5:13
to
5:13
be
5:13
socialized
5:13
because
5:14
we
5:14
cannot
5:15
go
5:15
to
5:15
school
5:16
and
5:16
go
5:16
into
5:16
the
5:16
working
5:17
world
5:18
screaming
5:18
and
5:18
kicking
5:19
and
5:20
slapping
5:21
and
5:21
putting
5:21
our
5:22
hands
5:22
in
5:22
our
5:22
poop.
5:22
It's
5:23
just
5:23
frowned
5:23
upon.
5:24
JO
5:24
so
5:25
we
5:25
have
5:25
to
5:25
be
5:25
socialized.
5:26
And
5:27
that
5:27
starts
5:27
within
5:28
the
5:28
family
5:29
unit
5:29
and
5:29
then
5:30
continues
5:31
as
5:31
we
5:31
go
5:31
out
5:32
and
5:32
make
5:32
little
5:32
kid
5:32
friends
5:33
at
5:33
school.
5:34
We
5:34
learn
5:34
the
5:34
rules
5:34
of
5:35
the
5:35
playground
5:35
and
5:35
the
5:35
rules
5:36
of
5:36
the
5:36
classroom.
5:38
As
5:38
part
5:38
of
5:38
that
5:39
socialization
5:40
process.
5:40
We're
5:40
essentially
5:41
learning
5:43
our
5:43
need
5:43
to
5:43
belong
5:44
is
5:44
so
5:44
hardwired
5:45
in
5:45
it
5:45
matters
5:46
as
5:46
well.
5:46
So
5:47
we're
5:47
learning
5:47
that
5:48
to
5:48
belong
5:49
in
5:49
this
5:50
family
5:50
or
5:50
this
5:50
gender
5:51
or
5:51
this
5:51
school,
5:52
whatever
5:52
it
5:52
is,
5:53
this
5:53
friendship
5:53
group,
5:55
turns
5:55
out
5:55
that
5:56
there
5:56
are
5:56
certain
5:56
things
5:56
about
5:57
me
5:57
that
5:57
are
5:57
acceptable.
5:59
And
5:59
then
6:00
apparently,
6:00
there
6:00
are
6:00
these
6:01
other
6:01
things
6:01
that
6:01
I
6:02
do
6:02
that
6:02
they
6:02
don't
6:03
like
6:03
that
6:03
are
6:03
frowned
6:04
upon.
6:04
And
6:05
that
6:05
content
6:06
can
6:06
become
6:06
disowned,
6:08
disallowed,
6:09
and
6:10
it
6:10
can
6:10
become
6:11
held
6:12
in
6:12
our
6:12
unconscious.
6:13
This
6:14
is
6:14
what
6:14
Jung
6:15
says
6:15
is
6:15
how
6:15
we
6:15
go
6:15
about
6:16
forming
6:16
an
6:16
identity.
6:17
We
6:17
have
6:17
the
6:18
Persona
6:18
that
6:18
we
6:18
lead
6:19
with.
6:19
And
6:19
I'm
6:19
happy
6:20
for
6:20
you
6:20
to
6:20
see
6:21
and
6:21
say,
6:21
oh,
6:21
yes,
6:22
that's
6:22
Teresa.
6:23
She's
6:24
nice
6:24
and
6:24
kind
6:24
and
6:25
sweet
6:25
and
6:25
friendly
6:26
and
6:26
warm.
6:27
But
6:28
then
6:28
all
6:28
the
6:28
other
6:28
stuff
6:29
that
6:29
is
6:29
still
6:29
part
6:29
of
6:30
me
6:30
but
6:30
that
6:30
I
6:31
carry
6:31
around
6:32
behind
6:32
me,
6:33
like
6:33
the
6:33
shadow
6:33
that
6:34
I
6:34
can't
6:34
see.
6:35
That
6:36
shadow
6:36
material
6:37
contains
6:37
the
6:37
other
6:37
stuff
6:38
where
6:38
I
6:38
might
6:38
be
6:39
mean
6:39
or
6:39
spiteful,
6:40
greedy
6:42
or
6:42
ambitious
6:43
or
6:43
creative.
6:45
I'm
6:45
wondering,
6:47
where's
6:48
the
6:48
line
6:49
between
6:50
what
6:50
we
6:51
are
6:52
allowed
6:53
to
6:53
be
6:54
and
6:54
our
6:54
authentic
6:55
self?
6:55
How
6:56
do
6:56
we
6:56
find
6:56
that
6:57
balance
6:57
between
6:58
the
6:58
bits
6:59
that
6:59
could
7:00
have
7:00
been
7:00
let
7:00
out?
7:01
Because
7:01
I
7:01
guess
7:01
it
7:01
must
7:01
depend
7:02
on
7:02
how
7:02
strict
7:03
your
7:03
parents
7:03
were
7:04
and
7:04
all
7:05
sorts
7:05
of
7:05
things.
7:06
How
7:06
do
7:07
we
7:07
find
7:08
that
7:08
balance
7:08
that
7:08
gets
7:09
us
7:09
back
7:09
to
7:09
our
7:10
authentic
7:10
self?
7:12
I
7:12
love
7:12
that
7:13
you
7:13
use
7:13
the
7:13
word
7:13
balance.
7:14
One
7:14
of
7:14
the
7:14
guiding
7:15
principles,
7:15
in
7:16
a
7:16
sense,
7:16
is
7:16
that
7:17
we
7:17
are
7:18
part
7:18
of
7:18
nature,
7:19
and
7:19
nature
7:20
operates
7:21
on
7:21
a
7:21
kind
7:21
of
7:21
homeostatic
7:22
principle.
7:23
We
7:23
know
7:23
night
7:23
because
7:23
of
7:24
day.
7:24
We
7:24
know
7:24
hot
7:25
because
7:25
of
7:25
cold.
7:25
There's
7:26
a
7:26
biological
7:27
imperative
7:27
towards
7:28
balance,
7:28
if
7:29
you
7:29
like.
7:29
And
7:30
so
7:30
that's
7:30
one
7:30
way
7:31
that
7:31
we
7:31
can
7:32
start
7:32
to
7:33
discern
7:33
what's
7:34
missing.
7:34
If
7:35
I'm
7:35
only
7:35
ever
7:36
X,
7:36
then
7:37
I
7:37
can
7:37
get
7:37
curious
7:38
about,
7:38
well,
7:38
what
7:38
balances
7:39
that,
7:39
what
7:40
might
7:40
be
7:40
missing
7:41
for
7:41
me.
7:42
And
7:42
it's
7:43
not
7:43
to
7:43
say
7:43
that
7:43
when
7:44
we
7:44
work
7:44
with
7:44
shadow
7:45
and
7:45
invite
7:45
these
7:46
qualities
7:46
back
7:47
in,
7:47
it's
7:47
not
7:47
that
7:47
we're
7:47
going
7:47
to
7:47
become
7:48
them
7:48
all
7:48
the
7:48
time.
7:49
It's
7:49
not
7:49
that
7:49
we're
7:50
going
7:50
to
7:50
become
7:50
dreadful
7:51
people
7:52
with
7:53
no
7:53
self
7:53
control,
7:54
no
7:54
choice,
7:54
no
7:54
free
7:55
will.
7:56
But
7:57
your
7:57
word
7:57
balance
7:57
is
7:58
a
7:58
beautiful
7:58
one.
7:59
It's
7:59
there
7:59
if
7:59
we
8:00
need
8:00
it.
8:01
Often
8:02
as
8:02
a
8:02
coach,
8:02
you
8:02
know,
8:03
I
8:03
work
8:03
with
8:03
people
8:03
around
8:04
the
8:04
language
8:04
of
8:04
increasing
8:05
your
8:05
range,
8:07
so
8:07
just
8:07
knowing
8:08
that
8:08
it's
8:08
there
8:09
can
8:09
be
8:09
incredibly
8:10
helpful.
8:11
So
8:11
not
8:11
that
8:11
I
8:12
become
8:12
it,
8:12
but
8:12
that
8:12
I
8:13
have
8:13
access
8:13
to
8:13
it.
8:14
It
8:14
reminds
8:15
me
8:15
of
8:15
the
8:15
emotions
8:16
wheel.
8:16
No
8:17
emotion
8:17
is
8:18
bad
8:18
because
8:19
sometimes
8:19
we
8:19
need
8:20
anger
8:21
or
8:22
fear
8:22
or
8:23
whatever
8:23
the
8:23
emotion
8:24
might
8:24
be.
8:24
So
8:24
it's
8:25
like
8:25
that
8:26
radar
8:26
of
8:26
how
8:27
can
8:27
we
8:27
crank
8:27
it
8:27
up
8:28
or
8:28
down
8:28
as
8:29
needed.
8:31
I
8:32
often
8:32
use
8:32
this
8:32
example
8:33
and
8:33
it
8:33
might
8:33
be
8:33
a
8:33
bit
8:33
triggering,
8:34
but
8:34
it
8:35
holds
8:35
a
8:35
lot
8:35
of
8:35
truth
8:35
for
8:36
me.
8:36
As
8:36
a
8:37
young
8:37
woman,
8:38
I
8:40
was
8:41
at
8:42
risk
8:42
a
8:43
lot
8:43
of
8:43
the
8:43
time
8:44
because
8:45
I
8:45
didn't
8:45
have
8:45
access
8:46
to
8:46
some
8:47
of
8:47
the
8:47
gnarlier,
8:48
snarliest
8:49
stuff
8:49
that
8:49
I
8:50
really
8:50
could
8:50
have
8:50
done
8:50
with.
8:51
To
8:51
say,
8:51
no,
8:52
piss
8:52
off,
8:53
back
8:53
off,
8:53
that's
8:53
not
8:54
welcome.
8:54
And
8:55
instead
8:55
I
8:55
would
8:55
smile.
8:56
And
8:57
that
8:57
can
8:57
leave
8:57
a
8:57
person
8:58
incredibly
8:58
vulnerable.
8:59
Being
8:59
mean
9:00
and
9:00
rude
9:00
or
9:01
aggressive
9:02
has
9:02
its
9:02
place.
9:03
Absolutely.
9:04
Gosh,
9:05
yes.
9:05
As
9:06
an
9:06
absolute
9:07
people
9:07
pleaser.
9:08
It's
9:08
exhausting
9:10
putting
9:11
everybody
9:11
else's
9:12
needs
9:12
first
9:12
and
9:12
it's
9:13
taking
9:14
so
9:14
much
9:14
practice,
9:16
like,
9:16
usually
9:17
unsuccessfully.
9:18
I
9:18
clearly
9:19
need
9:19
to
9:19
sign
9:19
you
9:20
up,
9:20
Teresa.
9:21
Get
9:21
rid
9:22
of
9:22
the
9:22
shadow
9:22
or
9:22
bring
9:23
it
9:23
back
9:23
in
9:23
to
9:23
overcome
9:24
the
9:24
practice
9:25
of
9:25
no
9:26
worries,
9:26
I
9:26
can
9:26
do
9:27
that
9:27
for
9:27
you,
9:27
even
9:28
though
9:28
I
9:28
actually
9:29
can't
9:29
back
9:29
to
9:29
back.
9:30
So
9:31
I
9:31
hear
9:31
you
9:31
totally.
9:32
If
9:33
we're
9:33
thinking
9:33
about
9:34
coaches
9:34
in
9:35
particular,
9:35
how
9:36
can
9:36
we
9:37
use
9:37
this
9:37
either
9:38
in
9:38
our
9:38
business
9:39
or
9:39
in
9:39
our
9:39
practice?
9:40
Maybe
9:41
both.
9:41
Absolutely
9:42
both.
9:43
Yeah,
9:43
absolutely
9:44
both.
9:45
I
9:45
think
9:45
for
9:45
me
9:45
it
9:45
started
9:46
off
9:46
as
9:46
a
9:46
personal
9:47
development
9:47
journey,
9:48
but
9:48
as
9:49
coaches,
9:49
we
9:50
are
9:50
the
9:50
instrument,
9:51
so
9:52
it's
9:52
pretty
9:52
hard
9:52
to
9:53
compartmentalize
9:54
our
9:54
humanity
9:54
from
9:55
our
9:55
practice,
9:56
certainly
9:56
for
9:56
me,
9:57
anyway.
9:57
And
9:58
I
9:58
think
9:58
what
9:58
I
10:00
started
10:00
to
10:02
discover
10:03
is
10:03
the
10:03
things
10:03
that
10:04
I
10:04
was
10:05
learning
10:05
about
10:06
shadow
10:07
and
10:07
kind
10:07
of
10:08
applying
10:08
to
10:08
my
10:08
personal
10:09
life
10:10
was
10:10
really,
10:11
really
10:11
helpful
10:12
in
10:12
the
10:12
coaching
10:12
room.
10:13
And
10:13
I'm
10:13
someone
10:14
whose
10:14
inner
10:15
critic
10:15
is
10:16
overworked,
10:17
you
10:18
know,
10:20
an
10:20
incredibly
10:21
efficient
10:22
critic.
10:22
It
10:22
turns
10:23
up
10:23
all
10:23
the
10:24
time.
10:24
It's
10:24
there
10:24
with
10:24
a
10:25
Clipboard.
10:25
It's
10:25
always
10:26
got
10:26
something
10:26
to
10:26
say.
10:26
I
10:26
mean,
10:27
it's
10:27
running
10:27
the
10:27
go
10:28
damn
10:28
show,
10:28
you
10:28
know?
10:29
And
10:30
so
10:30
when
10:30
I
10:30
started
10:30
coaching,
10:31
I'd
10:32
honestly
10:32
say
10:34
on
10:35
and
10:35
off
10:36
for
10:36
the
10:36
first.
10:37
Throughout
10:37
the
10:37
first
10:38
10
10:38
years,
10:39
there
10:39
were
10:39
times
10:40
that
10:40
I
10:40
almost
10:40
quit.
10:41
I
10:41
just
10:41
thought,
10:41
this
10:41
isn't
10:42
for
10:42
me.
10:42
I
10:42
can't
10:42
take
10:43
it.
10:43
Because
10:44
that
10:44
critic
10:44
would
10:44
just
10:45
be
10:45
hovering
10:45
on
10:45
my
10:46
shoulder.
10:46
I'd
10:47
get
10:47
to
10:47
the
10:47
end
10:47
of
10:47
the
10:47
session,
10:48
and
10:48
essentially
10:49
my
10:49
choices
10:49
were
10:50
good
10:50
or
10:50
bad.
10:51
Was
10:51
that
10:51
a
10:51
good
10:51
session
10:52
or
10:52
a
10:52
bad
10:52
session?
10:53
Were
10:53
you
10:53
a
10:53
good
10:53
coach?
10:54
Bad
10:54
coach,
10:54
good
10:54
person,
10:55
bad
10:55
person.
10:55
And
10:55
then
10:56
shame
10:56
would
10:56
come
10:56
and
10:57
punch
10:57
me
10:57
in
10:57
the
10:57
guts.
10:58
It
10:58
was
10:58
brutal
10:59
at
10:59
times,
11:01
and
11:01
there
11:01
was
11:02
a
11:02
real
11:02
lack
11:03
of
11:04
nuance
11:07
within
11:07
that
11:08
kind
11:08
of
11:08
appraisal
11:09
system.
11:09
You
11:09
know,
11:10
critic,
11:10
good,
11:10
bad,
11:10
brutal.
11:11
And
11:12
so
11:12
shadow
11:12
work
11:12
was
11:13
a
11:13
way
11:13
for
11:13
me
11:13
to
11:13
start
11:14
to
11:14
bring
11:14
some
11:14
nuance
11:15
in
11:15
and
11:15
get
11:15
really
11:16
curious
11:16
about
11:17
what
11:17
more
11:18
was
11:18
going
11:18
on
11:18
in
11:19
that
11:19
session.
11:19
How
11:20
else
11:20
might
11:20
I.
11:20
Language.
11:21
What
11:21
was
11:21
going
11:22
on
11:22
in
11:22
that
11:22
dynamic?
11:23
What
11:23
was
11:24
going
11:24
on
11:24
for
11:24
me
11:24
internally?
11:25
Where
11:25
was
11:25
I
11:25
taken
11:26
to?
11:26
What
11:27
did
11:27
I
11:27
not
11:27
have
11:27
access
11:28
to?
11:28
Oh,
11:29
interesting.
11:30
Like,
11:30
suddenly
11:31
there
11:31
are
11:31
these
11:32
threads
11:32
and
11:32
strands
11:33
where
11:33
my
11:33
curiosity
11:35
could
11:35
really
11:35
come
11:35
alive.
11:37
And
11:37
then
11:38
that
11:38
really
11:39
enhanced
11:39
my
11:40
supervision
11:40
relationship.
11:41
Because,
11:41
of
11:42
course,
11:42
previously
11:42
I
11:42
would
11:43
take
11:43
a
11:43
lot
11:43
of
11:43
shame
11:44
into
11:44
my
11:44
supervision.
11:45
Shame
11:46
is
11:46
so
11:46
sticky
11:47
and
11:47
nasty.
11:48
It
11:49
doesn't
11:49
want
11:49
to
11:49
be
11:49
seen.
11:50
So,
11:50
you
11:51
know,
11:51
it
11:51
would
11:51
kind
11:51
of
11:52
get
11:52
in
11:52
the
11:52
way
11:52
of
11:52
supervision.
11:53
It
11:53
would
11:53
be
11:53
so
11:53
hard
11:54
to
11:54
speak
11:54
my
11:54
vulnerabilities
11:55
about
11:55
my
11:56
practice.
11:57
Whereas
11:58
with
11:58
this
11:58
shadow
11:59
work
11:59
approach
12:01
and
12:01
a
12:02
depth
12:02
and
12:02
richness
12:03
of
12:03
language,
12:04
I
12:05
really
12:05
let
12:05
my
12:06
shoulders
12:06
dropped,
12:07
critic
12:07
buckered
12:08
off,
12:08
and
12:09
I
12:09
could
12:09
really
12:09
start
12:10
to
12:10
enjoy
12:10
the
12:10
sense
12:10
of
12:11
growing,
12:11
learning,
12:12
developing,
12:13
presencing.
12:14
So
12:15
my
12:16
sense
12:16
of
12:17
presence
12:17
has
12:17
been
12:18
impacted
12:19
a
12:19
hundredfold.
12:20
I
12:21
just
12:21
show
12:21
up
12:22
differently.
12:22
I
12:22
enjoy
12:23
my
12:24
coaching
12:24
so
12:25
much
12:25
more
12:26
now
12:26
in
12:26
these
12:27
more
12:27
recent
12:27
years.
12:28
And
12:29
so
12:29
that's
12:29
what
12:29
I'm
12:29
passionate
12:30
about,
12:30
bringing
12:30
shadow
12:31
work
12:31
to
12:31
other
12:31
coaches
12:32
just
12:32
for
12:32
that.
12:32
That
12:33
experience
12:33
of
12:34
being
12:34
able
12:34
to
12:35
be
12:35
available
12:37
through
12:37
your
12:38
presence
12:38
with
12:38
another
12:38
human.
12:39
I'm
12:40
so
12:40
passionate
12:41
about
12:41
that.
12:42
The
12:42
business
12:43
side,
12:44
you
12:44
know,
12:44
we
12:44
often
12:44
say
12:45
that
12:45
the
12:45
ego
12:45
can
12:46
handle
12:46
things.
12:46
When
12:46
things
12:46
are
12:47
going
12:47
well,
12:48
we
12:48
have
12:48
our
12:48
Persona
12:49
and
12:49
we
12:49
can
12:49
just
12:49
kind
12:49
of.
12:50
When
12:50
things
12:50
are
12:50
going
12:50
well,
12:50
we
12:50
run
12:51
along
12:51
nicely.
12:52
It's
12:52
when
12:52
things
12:53
get
12:53
tricky,
12:54
that's
12:54
often
12:54
when
12:55
the
12:55
shadow
12:55
material
12:56
is
12:56
stirred.
12:58
You
12:58
will
12:58
know
12:59
this
12:59
better
12:59
than
13:00
most.
13:01
How
13:01
many
13:02
coaches
13:02
struggle
13:03
with
13:03
the
13:03
business
13:04
side?
13:05
They
13:05
might
13:05
love
13:05
the
13:05
coaching,
13:06
but
13:07
so
13:07
much
13:07
is
13:08
asked
13:08
when
13:08
it
13:08
comes
13:09
to
13:09
the
13:10
visibility
13:11
aspect,
13:12
that
13:12
sense
13:12
of
13:12
exposure,
13:13
being
13:14
seen,
13:14
all
13:15
of
13:15
that
13:15
can
13:15
trigger
13:16
shadows,
13:16
self
13:17
expression,
13:18
creativity,
13:19
putting
13:20
your
13:20
mark
13:21
on
13:21
the
13:21
world.
13:22
Again,
13:22
incredibly
13:24
challenging
13:25
and
13:25
exposing.
13:25
For
13:26
so
13:26
many
13:26
of
13:26
us,
13:27
running
13:27
a
13:27
business
13:27
is
13:28
rich
13:28
and
13:29
fertile
13:29
ground
13:30
for
13:30
shadow,
13:31
which
13:31
if
13:31
you
13:32
know
13:32
how
13:32
to
13:32
speak
13:33
the
13:33
language
13:33
of
13:33
shadow,
13:34
becomes
13:35
an
13:35
incredible
13:36
opportunity
13:37
to
13:37
turn
13:37
all
13:37
of
13:37
that
13:38
ick.
13:39
It's
13:39
hard
13:40
that
13:40
cringe
13:41
and
13:42
challenge
13:43
into
13:43
something
13:44
really
13:45
resourcing.
13:46
The
13:46
shadow
13:47
is
13:47
a
13:47
source
13:47
of
13:48
energy.
13:49
It
13:49
wants
13:50
our
13:50
attention.
13:51
We
13:51
can
13:51
feel
13:52
its
13:52
impact
13:54
in
13:54
an
13:54
unpleasant
13:55
way,
13:55
cringe,
13:56
turning
13:57
away
13:57
from
13:58
ick.
13:59
But
14:00
when
14:00
we
14:00
know
14:00
how
14:00
to
14:00
harness
14:01
it,
14:01
that
14:01
energy
14:02
becomes
14:02
available
14:03
to
14:03
us.
14:03
I
14:03
hear
14:04
from
14:04
other
14:04
coaches
14:04
that
14:05
they're
14:05
just
14:05
suddenly
14:06
able
14:06
to
14:06
take
14:06
more
14:07
risk.
14:08
It's
14:08
like
14:08
there's
14:09
more
14:09
flow.
14:10
Once
14:10
you
14:10
start
14:11
to
14:11
kind
14:11
of
14:11
integrate.
14:11
Some
14:12
of
14:12
that
14:12
challenge,
14:14
I
14:14
really
14:14
resonate
14:15
with
14:15
the
14:16
good
14:17
or
14:17
bad,
14:18
especially
14:18
when
14:18
I
14:19
first
14:19
started
14:20
my
14:20
business.
14:20
Think
14:21
that
14:21
was
14:21
a
14:21
good
14:21
session,
14:22
that
14:23
that
14:23
was
14:23
a
14:23
disaster.
14:24
And
14:24
then
14:25
I'll
14:25
find
14:25
it
14:25
really
14:26
interesting
14:26
when
14:26
people
14:27
share
14:27
in
14:27
the
14:27
slack
14:27
group.
14:28
Great
14:29
session
14:29
yesterday.
14:30
I'm
14:30
like,
14:30
no,
14:30
no.
14:31
I've
14:31
already
14:31
branded
14:31
that
14:32
as
14:32
a
14:32
terrible
14:32
session.
14:33
What
14:34
are
14:34
you
14:34
even
14:34
saying?
14:35
So
14:35
many
14:35
of
14:35
us
14:36
will
14:36
resonate
14:36
with
14:37
that
14:37
judgment
14:38
of
14:38
black
14:39
and
14:39
white
14:39
thinking
14:40
all
14:40
the
14:40
time.
14:41
I
14:41
love
14:42
the
14:42
idea
14:42
of
14:42
inviting
14:43
in
14:43
more
14:44
nuance
14:44
and
14:45
being
14:45
curious,
14:46
which
14:46
I
14:46
find
14:47
really
14:47
hard
14:48
to
14:48
do.
14:49
So
14:49
tell
14:50
me
14:50
more,
14:50
how
14:51
do
14:51
we
14:51
actually
14:52
do
14:52
this?
14:54
One
14:54
thing
14:55
that
14:55
I
14:55
found
14:57
is
14:57
that
14:58
the
14:59
Cottonian
15:00
kind
15:00
of
15:00
go
15:00
hand
15:00
in
15:00
hand
15:00
with
15:01
shadow
15:01
work.
15:02
And
15:02
when
15:02
I
15:02
work
15:02
with
15:02
coaches,
15:03
it's
15:04
the
15:04
beginning
15:04
in
15:04
the
15:04
middle
15:05
and
15:05
the
15:05
end
15:06
is
15:06
to
15:06
bring
15:06
in
15:06
compassion.
15:08
So,
15:08
and
15:08
I'm
15:09
doing
15:09
a
15:09
hand
15:09
in
15:09
hand,
15:10
you
15:10
know,
15:10
for
15:10
me,
15:10
they
15:11
go
15:11
hand
15:11
in
15:11
hand.
15:12
When
15:13
we
15:13
turn
15:13
to
15:13
shadow,
15:13
we
15:14
think
15:14
about
15:14
how
15:14
shadow
15:15
material
15:15
is
15:15
created.
15:16
It's
15:16
these
15:16
disowned
15:17
parts,
15:18
disowned
15:19
qualities
15:19
or
15:20
aspects
15:20
of
15:20
ourselves.
15:23
Often
15:24
they
15:25
get
15:25
put
15:25
into
15:25
shadow
15:26
with
15:26
some
15:26
emotional
15:27
stamp,
15:27
if
15:27
you
15:27
like.
15:28
There
15:28
can
15:28
be
15:28
some
15:29
shame,
15:29
some
15:30
humiliation,
15:31
some
15:31
hurt.
15:32
So
15:32
bringing
15:33
that
15:33
stuff
15:34
back
15:34
in
15:35
inevitably
15:36
means
15:36
they're
15:37
frozen
15:37
in
15:38
time.
15:38
Energetically,
15:39
they're
15:39
frozen
15:39
in
15:40
time.
15:40
We
15:41
continue
15:41
to
15:41
live
15:41
in
15:42
linear
15:42
time.
15:42
We
15:43
have
15:43
a
15:43
life,
15:43
we
15:43
have
15:43
jobs,
15:44
we
15:44
have
15:44
relationships.
15:45
But
15:46
these
15:46
wounds,
15:46
these
15:47
hurts
15:48
are
15:48
kind
15:48
of
15:48
timestamped
15:49
from
15:50
when
15:50
they
15:50
were
15:50
in.
15:52
So
15:52
they
15:52
want
15:52
to
15:53
be
15:53
reintegrated.
15:54
Part
15:55
of
15:55
what
15:55
we're
15:55
saying
15:55
yes
15:56
to,
15:57
you
15:58
know,
15:58
I
15:58
am
15:58
willing,
15:59
it's
15:59
a
15:59
yes,
15:59
I
16:00
am
16:00
willing
16:00
to
16:00
re
16:01
experience
16:02
what
16:02
that's
16:03
holding
16:03
might
16:03
be
16:04
holding
16:04
grief,
16:05
might
16:05
be
16:05
holding
16:06
shame,
16:06
it
16:07
might
16:07
be
16:07
holding
16:07
anger.
16:08
And
16:09
so
16:09
how
16:09
do
16:09
we
16:09
prepare
16:10
the
16:10
ground
16:11
to
16:12
work
16:12
with
16:12
that
16:13
stuff
16:13
when
16:13
it
16:13
comes
16:13
back
16:13
in
16:14
for
16:15
me?
16:15
Compassion.
16:16
So
16:16
having
16:17
some
16:17
self
16:17
compassion
16:18
practices
16:18
first
16:18
of
16:19
all
16:19
enable
16:20
us
16:20
to
16:20
stay
16:21
present
16:21
with
16:21
ourselves
16:23
alongside
16:25
that
16:25
material.
16:28
Because
16:28
otherwise
16:29
there's
16:29
the
16:29
danger
16:29
that
16:30
the
16:30
material
16:30
can
16:31
flood
16:31
us
16:32
and
16:33
we
16:33
can
16:33
become
16:34
identified
16:35
with
16:35
it
16:35
and
16:36
re
16:36
experience
16:37
it.
16:37
And
16:37
it's
16:38
much
16:38
harder
16:38
for
16:39
us
16:39
to
16:39
process
16:40
it
16:41
when
16:42
it's
16:42
just
16:43
all
16:44
over
16:44
us
16:45
like
16:46
a
16:46
sticky,
16:46
icky
16:47
mess.
16:48
I've
16:48
heard
16:49
people
16:49
say
16:49
that
16:50
trauma
16:50
is
16:50
stored
16:51
in
16:51
the
16:51
body,
16:52
and
16:52
I've
16:53
heard
16:53
it
16:53
so
16:53
many
16:53
times,
16:54
but
16:54
I've
16:54
always
16:55
secretly
16:56
thought,
16:56
what
16:57
does
16:57
that
16:57
mean?
16:58
Tell
16:59
me
16:59
more.
17:01
Yeah,
17:02
the
17:02
body
17:02
keeps
17:03
the
17:03
score
17:04
that
17:06
there's
17:06
an
17:06
energetic
17:07
resonance.
17:10
How
17:10
do
17:10
we
17:10
know
17:10
we're
17:10
experiencing
17:12
anything
17:13
in,
17:14
you
17:14
know,
17:14
we're
17:14
energetic
17:15
beings
17:16
in
17:16
our
17:16
culture.
17:17
We
17:17
prioritize
17:17
the
17:17
left
17:18
brain
17:18
and
17:18
we
17:18
think
17:19
that,
17:19
you
17:19
know,
17:19
kind
17:19
of
17:20
our
17:20
meaning
17:20
making
17:21
the
17:21
way
17:21
that
17:21
we
17:21
language
17:22
things
17:22
is
17:22
king.
17:23
And
17:23
yet,
17:24
of
17:24
course,
17:25
that's
17:25
the
17:25
last
17:26
thing
17:26
that's
17:26
interesting.
17:27
Thoughts
17:28
sit
17:28
on
17:28
top
17:29
of
17:29
feelings.
17:30
And
17:30
then
17:30
there's
17:30
emotional
17:31
vibrations,
17:32
that
17:32
interoceptive
17:33
stuff.
17:33
What
17:33
is
17:33
it?
17:33
Our
17:33
nervous
17:34
systems.
17:35
So
17:36
it's
17:36
an
17:36
inner
17:37
world
17:38
of
17:39
energy.
17:39
In
17:39
a
17:39
sense.
17:40
It's
17:40
how
17:40
we
17:40
experience
17:41
anything.
17:42
And
17:42
if
17:42
we
17:43
think
17:43
about
17:43
it
17:43
that
17:43
way.
17:45
That's
17:46
why
17:46
trauma
17:46
doesn't
17:47
operate
17:47
in
17:47
linear
17:47
time.
17:49
It
17:50
operates
17:51
as
17:51
energy.
17:51
It's
17:52
not
17:52
on
17:52
the
17:52
clock.
17:53
So
17:53
it
17:53
doesn't
17:53
care
17:53
if
17:54
that
17:54
was
17:54
40
17:54
years
17:54
ago.
17:55
When
17:56
we're
17:56
ready,
17:57
when
17:57
we
17:57
create
17:57
the
17:57
ground,
17:58
when
17:58
we.
18:00
Whether
18:00
we're
18:00
working
18:00
with
18:00
somebody
18:01
or
18:01
working
18:02
solo,
18:04
that
18:04
kind
18:05
of
18:05
relational
18:05
peace,
18:06
that
18:06
turning
18:06
towards
18:07
a
18:07
yes,
18:07
I'm
18:08
ready,
18:08
I'm
18:08
listening.
18:10
Let
18:10
me
18:10
meet
18:10
you,
18:11
let
18:11
me
18:11
see
18:11
you,
18:11
Let
18:11
me
18:11
hear
18:11
you,
18:12
Let
18:12
me
18:12
feel.
18:13
Then
18:14
here
18:14
it
18:14
comes.
18:16
And
18:16
that's
18:16
why
18:16
it
18:17
can
18:17
feel
18:17
like
18:18
stored
18:18
grief.
18:19
And
18:19
that
18:19
took
18:19
me
18:20
quite
18:20
a
18:20
long
18:20
time
18:20
to
18:20
work
18:21
out
18:22
that
18:22
there's
18:23
real
18:23
grace
18:24
dignifying
18:28
a
18:28
part
18:29
that
18:29
has
18:29
been
18:29
holding
18:31
grief,
18:31
for
18:32
example,
18:33
for
18:33
decades
18:34
on
18:34
our
18:34
behalf.
18:35
It
18:35
can't
18:36
process
18:36
it.
18:37
If
18:37
I
18:37
spend
18:37
a
18:38
rainy
18:38
Saturday
18:39
afternoon
18:39
weeping
18:40
and
18:41
allowing
18:41
that
18:41
grief
18:42
to
18:42
metabolize
18:43
through
18:43
me.
18:44
There's
18:44
real
18:44
grace
18:45
in
18:45
that
18:45
work.
18:46
It's
18:46
real
18:46
honoring.
18:47
I'm
18:47
not
18:47
sad
18:48
in
18:48
the
18:48
now.
18:48
I'm
18:49
allowing
18:49
the
18:49
sad
18:50
from
18:50
my
18:51
history
18:51
to
18:52
metabolize
18:53
through
18:53
me.
18:53
Does
18:53
that
18:54
help?
18:55
Oh,
18:55
yeah,
18:56
it
18:56
helps
18:56
masses.
18:57
Because
18:58
I
18:59
often
18:59
find
18:59
if
19:00
I
19:00
listen
19:00
to
19:00
a
19:01
song
19:01
from
19:02
the
19:02
past
19:02
or
19:03
see
19:04
something
19:04
on
19:04
the
19:04
news
19:05
from
19:05
a
19:05
certain
19:05
year
19:06
that's
19:07
in
19:07
my
19:07
memory,
19:08
I
19:09
either
19:09
cry
19:09
on
19:09
the
19:10
spot.
19:10
It's
19:10
so
19:10
embarrassing.
19:11
My
19:11
children
19:12
was
19:12
like,
19:12
not
19:12
again,
19:13
Mum.
19:14
Or
19:15
even
19:15
in
19:15
group
19:15
calls.
19:16
So
19:16
there's
19:16
obviously
19:17
certain
19:18
things
19:18
that
19:18
I
19:18
must
19:19
have
19:19
stored.
19:20
So
19:20
I
19:20
get
19:20
this
19:21
real
19:21
reaction
19:22
that
19:22
I
19:23
cannot
19:23
control
19:24
in
19:24
the
19:24
moment.
19:26
Is
19:27
that
19:27
because
19:28
I've
19:28
maybe
19:29
not
19:29
spent
19:29
the
19:30
time
19:30
addressing
19:31
past
19:31
traumas
19:33
I
19:33
mean.
19:34
Some
19:34
of
19:34
that
19:34
may
19:34
not
19:35
be
19:35
trauma.
19:36
And
19:36
of
19:36
course,
19:36
there
19:36
can
19:37
be
19:37
delicious
19:37
tears.
19:38
Nostalgia,
19:39
for
19:40
example,
19:40
can
19:40
be
19:41
beautiful.
19:42
But
19:42
this
19:43
is
19:43
why
19:43
I
19:43
love
19:43
working
19:44
with
19:44
parts
19:45
so
19:45
much.
19:46
So
19:46
a
19:46
way
19:46
to
19:46
turn
19:47
something
19:47
conceptual
19:48
to
19:48
something
19:48
more
19:49
relational.
19:49
We're
19:49
relational
19:50
creatures.
19:51
We
19:51
understand
19:52
what
19:52
it
19:52
is
19:53
to
19:53
be
19:53
in
19:53
relation
19:54
with.
19:55
So
19:56
one
19:56
of
19:56
the
19:57
ways
19:57
that
19:57
I
19:57
work
19:57
with
19:57
Shadow
19:58
is
19:58
through
19:58
parts
19:59
work.
19:59
So
20:00
you
20:00
can
20:00
personify
20:01
and
20:02
therefore
20:02
get
20:02
to
20:03
know
20:03
and
20:03
have
20:04
a
20:04
relationship
20:05
with
20:05
a
20:06
part
20:06
that
20:06
is
20:07
carrying
20:07
a
20:08
little
20:08
kind
20:08
of
20:10
cluster
20:10
of
20:10
emotions,
20:11
if
20:11
you
20:11
like.
20:12
So
20:13
it
20:13
might
20:13
be
20:13
that
20:13
the
20:14
next
20:14
time
20:14
you
20:15
hear
20:15
that
20:15
song
20:16
and
20:16
the
20:17
tears
20:17
start
20:17
to
20:17
come,
20:18
especially
20:18
if
20:18
your
20:18
kids
20:18
aren't
20:19
around
20:19
because
20:19
you
20:20
were
20:21
to
20:21
do
20:21
it
20:21
if
20:21
they
20:21
are
20:21
around.
20:22
But,
20:23
you
20:23
know,
20:23
one
20:23
way
20:24
to
20:24
allow
20:24
that
20:24
curiosity
20:25
to
20:25
be
20:26
here
20:26
then,
20:27
is
20:27
to.
20:27
Is
20:27
to
20:28
almost,
20:28
oh,
20:29
I
20:29
wonder
20:29
what
20:30
part
20:31
is
20:32
having
20:32
a
20:32
response.
20:32
I
20:33
wonder
20:33
what
20:33
part
20:33
of
20:34
me
20:34
is
20:34
holding
20:35
this
20:35
emotional
20:36
response.
20:38
And
20:38
then
20:38
you
20:38
get
20:39
really
20:39
curious
20:40
about,
20:41
yeah,
20:42
how
20:42
long
20:42
have
20:42
they
20:42
been
20:43
there?
20:43
What's
20:44
what?
20:44
I
20:44
wonder
20:45
where
20:45
they're
20:45
trying
20:45
to
20:45
get
20:45
my
20:45
attention.
20:46
What.
20:46
What
20:47
words
20:47
might
20:47
be
20:47
associated
20:48
If
20:49
I
20:49
were
20:49
to
20:49
enter
20:49
into
20:50
conversation
20:51
with
20:51
this
20:51
part
20:52
now,
20:52
I
20:52
wonder
20:52
what
20:52
it
20:52
might
20:53
want
20:53
me
20:53
to
20:53
know.
20:55
And
20:55
then
20:55
you
20:55
might
20:55
get
20:56
something
20:56
really
20:56
lovely,
20:57
like
20:57
sweet
20:57
nostalgia
20:58
or
20:59
a
20:59
kind
20:59
of
20:59
a
21:00
longing.
21:01
Yeah,
21:02
it's
21:03
so
21:03
true.
21:03
Because
21:03
I
21:04
often
21:04
cry
21:04
more
21:05
when
21:05
I'm
21:05
happy,
21:06
strangely
21:07
enough,
21:07
than
21:07
when
21:07
I'm
21:07
sad,
21:08
which
21:08
is
21:08
what
21:08
really
21:09
confuses
21:09
my
21:10
children.
21:10
It
21:11
sounds
21:11
so
21:12
luxurious
21:13
to
21:14
enter
21:14
that
21:15
space
21:15
of
21:15
having
21:16
the
21:16
time
21:17
and
21:17
space
21:17
to
21:18
actually
21:18
be
21:18
curious
21:19
instead
21:19
of
21:20
rushing.
21:20
I
21:21
think
21:21
we
21:21
all
21:21
live
21:22
so
21:22
much
21:22
of
21:22
our
21:22
time
21:22
rushing
21:23
that
21:24
I
21:24
cannot
21:24
even
21:25
imagine
21:25
the
21:25
luxury
21:26
of
21:27
taking
21:27
that
21:27
moment.
21:28
Is
21:29
there
21:29
any
21:29
practical
21:30
tip
21:30
in
21:30
the
21:30
moment
21:31
that
21:31
could
21:31
remind
21:32
us
21:32
to
21:33
be
21:33
compassionate
21:34
or
21:34
have
21:34
that
21:34
curiosity?
21:36
One
21:36
of
21:36
the
21:37
simplest
21:38
anchoring
21:39
techniques,
21:40
I
21:40
suppose,
21:40
is
21:40
compassionate
21:41
touch.
21:43
Our
21:43
body
21:43
responds
21:45
to
21:45
touch
21:46
from
21:46
self
21:46
in
21:47
the
21:47
same
21:47
way
21:47
that
21:47
it
21:47
would
21:47
from
21:47
touch
21:48
from
21:48
others.
21:49
I
21:49
mean,
21:49
a
21:49
hand
21:50
on
21:50
the
21:50
heart
21:50
is
21:50
the
21:50
simplest
21:51
way.
21:52
If
21:52
that
21:52
anchor
21:53
works
21:53
for
21:53
you.
21:53
For
21:53
some
21:54
people,
21:54
it
21:54
can
21:54
be
21:54
a
21:54
hand
21:55
on
21:55
the
21:55
belly
21:55
that
21:55
might
21:56
feel
21:56
more
21:56
grounding.
21:57
I
21:58
really
21:58
love
21:59
a
21:59
hand
22:00
cupped
22:00
on
22:00
the
22:01
jawline.
22:01
And
22:01
let
22:02
the
22:02
hand
22:03
settle
22:03
into
22:03
the
22:03
face.
22:04
Find
22:04
what
22:05
works.
22:06
Compassion
22:06
almost
22:07
is
22:07
that
22:07
first
22:07
step.
22:08
And
22:08
then
22:09
that
22:10
helps
22:10
us
22:10
connect
22:10
to
22:10
ourselves
22:11
in
22:11
the
22:11
here
22:11
and
22:12
now.
22:13
And
22:13
it's
22:13
the
22:14
self
22:14
in
22:14
the
22:14
here
22:14
and
22:14
now
22:15
who
22:15
can
22:15
hold
22:15
that
22:16
curiosity
22:17
for
22:19
all.
22:20
Right,
22:20
who's
22:20
here?
22:22
Whose
22:22
agenda
22:23
is
22:24
pulling
22:24
at
22:24
me
22:24
at
22:25
the
22:25
moment?
22:25
Why
22:25
am
22:25
I
22:26
suddenly
22:26
frustrated?
22:27
Or
22:28
why
22:28
is
22:29
that
22:29
person
22:29
really
22:29
irritated?
22:30
What's
22:30
going
22:31
on
22:31
there?
22:31
You
22:31
know
22:32
that
22:32
if
22:33
there's
22:33
some
22:33
sort
22:34
of
22:35
pull,
22:37
we
22:37
can
22:37
just
22:38
follow
22:38
that
22:38
curiosity.
22:40
Oh,
22:40
I
22:41
love
22:41
that.
22:41
And
22:42
it
22:42
really
22:42
works
22:43
well
22:43
for
22:43
me.
22:43
Like
22:44
you
22:44
say,
22:44
the
22:45
hands,
22:45
the
22:45
face,
22:46
the
22:46
heart,
22:46
the
22:47
hugging
22:47
yourself.
22:48
So
22:49
thank
22:49
you
22:50
so
22:50
much
22:50
for
22:50
the
22:50
reminder
22:51
because
22:51
we
22:52
learn
22:52
and
22:52
then
22:52
we
22:53
forget
22:53
and
22:53
then
22:53
we
22:53
relearn.
22:54
Yes,
22:54
I
22:54
learned
22:55
that
22:55
several
22:55
years
22:55
ago
22:55
and
22:55
it
22:56
was
22:56
really
22:56
helpful.
22:57
Thank
22:57
you
22:57
so
22:57
much
22:58
for
22:58
that
22:58
reminder.
22:59
And
23:00
I
23:00
know
23:00
you
23:00
have
23:01
either
23:01
four
23:02
or
23:02
five
23:02
P's
23:04
to
23:04
help
23:04
us
23:05
break
23:05
this
23:05
down
23:06
a
23:06
little
23:06
bit.
23:07
Please
23:07
do
23:07
share.
23:08
What
23:08
are
23:08
your
23:09
four
23:09
or
23:09
five
23:10
P's?
23:12
So,
23:12
yeah,
23:12
I.
23:14
I
23:14
really
23:15
have
23:17
three
23:17
P's
23:17
and
23:18
a
23:18
C.
23:18
But
23:19
that's
23:19
just
23:19
never
23:20
going
23:20
to
23:20
jam,
23:20
is
23:20
it?
23:21
I
23:22
have
23:22
these
23:22
four
23:22
P's,
23:23
which
23:23
really
23:24
is
23:24
just
23:24
what
23:25
I
23:25
wanted
23:25
to
23:25
do.
23:25
When
23:26
I
23:26
was
23:26
thinking
23:26
about
23:27
what
23:27
a
23:27
difference
23:28
playing
23:29
with
23:30
shadow
23:30
made
23:31
for
23:31
me
23:31
as
23:32
a
23:32
coach,
23:32
I
23:32
started
23:33
to
23:33
think
23:33
about,
23:33
well,
23:33
how
23:33
might
23:33
I
23:34
offer
23:34
this
23:34
to
23:34
you,
23:34
to
23:34
other
23:35
coaches?
23:36
And
23:36
the
23:37
4Pmodel
23:39
emerged.
23:40
The
23:41
5P
23:41
really
23:42
sits
23:42
in
23:42
the
23:42
middle,
23:43
and
23:43
this
23:43
is
23:43
what
23:43
it's
23:43
all
23:43
for.
23:44
For
23:44
me,
23:44
the
23:44
key
23:44
thing
23:45
is
23:45
presence.
23:47
When
23:47
we
23:47
work
23:48
from
23:48
a
23:48
place
23:48
of
23:48
presence,
23:50
there's
23:50
joy.
23:51
You
23:52
know,
23:52
we're
23:52
resourced.
23:54
We've
23:54
got
23:55
that
23:55
kind
23:55
of
23:56
fluidity
23:57
and
23:57
adaptability,
23:58
and
23:58
we
23:59
can
23:59
resonate.
23:59
It's
23:59
why
24:00
we
24:00
do
24:00
what
24:00
we
24:00
do.
24:00
If
24:01
we
24:01
want
24:01
to
24:01
learn
24:01
the
24:02
language
24:02
of
24:03
shadow,
24:04
we
24:05
have
24:05
projection
24:06
and
24:07
polarities.
24:09
Think
24:09
about
24:09
if
24:09
you
24:09
want
24:09
to
24:09
learn
24:10
a
24:10
foreign
24:10
language,
24:11
you'd
24:12
normally
24:12
start
24:12
with
24:13
a
24:13
few
24:13
verbs
24:13
and
24:14
a
24:14
few
24:14
nouns,
24:15
and
24:15
then
24:15
you
24:15
cobble
24:16
them
24:16
together
24:16
into
24:16
these
24:16
rudimentary
24:17
sentences.
24:18
And
24:18
then
24:18
you're
24:18
very
24:18
excited
24:19
because
24:19
you
24:19
can
24:19
order
24:19
a
24:19
beer
24:21
in
24:21
17
24:22
languages.
24:22
You
24:22
know,
24:23
the
24:23
most
24:23
important
24:23
thing.
24:24
So
24:25
for
24:25
me,
24:25
projection
24:26
and
24:26
polarities
24:27
are
24:27
a
24:27
little
24:28
like
24:28
gathering
24:29
together
24:29
the
24:30
verbs
24:30
and
24:30
the
24:30
nouns
24:31
so
24:31
that
24:31
you
24:31
can
24:32
start
24:32
to
24:32
make
24:32
some
24:32
rudimentary
24:33
sentences.
24:35
It's
24:35
an
24:36
easy
24:36
way
24:36
in.
24:37
And
24:37
for
24:37
me,
24:38
it's
24:38
a
24:38
way
24:38
that
24:38
left
24:39
brain
24:39
can
24:40
get
24:40
on
24:40
board
24:40
with
24:41
because
24:41
it
24:42
feels
24:43
quite
24:43
practical.
24:44
So,
24:44
you
24:44
know,
24:45
it's
24:45
not
24:45
too
24:45
strange.
24:45
I
24:46
don't
24:46
have
24:46
to
24:46
do
24:46
a
24:46
leap
24:46
of
24:46
imagination.
24:47
It's
24:47
like,
24:47
well,
24:48
okay,
24:48
that's
24:49
the
24:49
voice
24:49
of
24:49
my
24:50
inner
24:50
like,
24:51
are
24:51
we
24:51
gonna
24:51
let
24:51
this
24:52
weird
24:52
stuff
24:52
in
24:52
or
24:52
not?
24:54
Projection
24:54
is
24:55
a
24:55
really
24:55
beautiful
24:56
way
24:57
of
24:57
being
24:58
able
24:58
to
24:58
work
24:58
out
24:59
how
24:59
the
24:59
unconscious
25:00
might
25:00
be
25:00
talking
25:01
to
25:02
me.
25:03
A
25:03
really
25:04
fun
25:04
and
25:04
simple
25:05
way
25:05
to
25:05
think
25:05
about
25:05
projection
25:06
is
25:06
who
25:06
annoys
25:07
the
25:07
living
25:07
crap
25:07
out
25:07
of
25:08
you?
25:08
Don't
25:08
pretend
25:09
that
25:09
you're
25:09
nice,
25:10
like,
25:10
you
25:10
know,
25:11
talking
25:12
shadow
25:12
here.
25:12
So
25:13
just
25:13
make
25:14
a
25:14
little
25:14
bit
25:14
of
25:14
room
25:15
for.
25:16
They
25:17
just
25:17
annoy
25:17
the
25:18
crap
25:18
out
25:18
of
25:18
me
25:19
because
25:19
they're
25:19
so.
25:20
And
25:20
then
25:21
what
25:21
is
25:21
it?
25:23
And
25:23
I
25:23
Do
25:24
this
25:24
exercise
25:24
with
25:25
people
25:25
and
25:25
it
25:25
might
25:26
be
25:26
somebody
25:26
close
25:27
and
25:27
near
25:27
within
25:28
the
25:28
family,
25:29
that
25:29
friend
25:30
who
25:30
always
25:31
cancels
25:31
at
25:31
the
25:31
last
25:32
minute,
25:32
or
25:32
they're
25:32
so
25:33
unreliable.
25:34
Or
25:34
it
25:34
might
25:35
be
25:35
a
25:35
celebrity
25:36
or
25:36
a
25:36
politician
25:37
who'd
25:38
have
25:38
to
25:38
struggle.
25:39
The
25:39
divine
25:39
examples
25:40
of
25:40
politicians
25:40
who
25:41
annoy
25:42
or
25:42
disturb
25:43
us.
25:43
So
25:43
you
25:43
would
25:44
write
25:44
down
25:44
qualities.
25:45
What
25:45
is
25:45
it
25:45
about
25:46
that
25:46
person
25:46
really,
25:47
really
25:47
annoys
25:48
you?
25:48
Then
25:49
when
25:49
you
25:49
found
25:49
those
25:50
qualities,
25:51
cross
25:51
out
25:51
they
25:52
are
25:53
and
25:53
write
25:54
I
25:54
own.
25:57
That's
25:57
why
25:58
people's
25:58
faces
25:58
drop
25:59
and
25:59
they
25:59
look
26:00
horrified.
26:02
But
26:02
that's
26:02
projection
26:03
in
26:03
action.
26:04
These
26:04
are
26:04
disowned
26:05
qualities.
26:06
Things
26:07
about
26:07
myself
26:08
that
26:08
I've
26:08
learned
26:08
that
26:09
I'm
26:09
not
26:09
allowed
26:09
to
26:10
have.
26:10
I've
26:10
disowned
26:11
them.
26:12
So
26:12
if
26:12
I
26:13
can't
26:13
see
26:13
them
26:13
in
26:14
myself,
26:15
but
26:16
doesn't
26:16
have
26:16
an
26:16
energetic
26:17
quality
26:18
to
26:18
them,
26:19
then
26:20
that
26:20
force
26:21
field
26:21
will
26:21
spit
26:22
them
26:22
out
26:22
onto
26:22
other
26:22
people
26:23
and
26:23
says,
26:23
well,
26:23
I
26:24
can't
26:24
see
26:24
them
26:24
in
26:24
me,
26:24
but
26:24
I
26:25
will
26:25
see
26:25
them
26:25
in
26:25
you
26:26
and
26:26
I
26:26
will
26:26
be
26:26
revolted
26:27
in
26:28
them.
26:28
In
26:28
you.
26:29
It
26:29
can
26:29
be
26:30
really
26:30
enjoyable
26:31
to
26:31
judge
26:32
somebody
26:32
else
26:32
for
26:32
being
26:32
so
26:33
appalling
26:33
when
26:33
we're
26:34
unconscious
26:34
of
26:34
the
26:34
fact
26:34
that
26:35
it's
26:35
our
26:35
own
26:36
disowned
26:36
attribute.
26:38
My
26:38
goodness.
26:39
Absolutely
26:39
shocking.
26:40
And
26:42
I'm
26:42
just
26:43
looking
26:43
for
26:43
a
26:43
get
26:43
out
26:44
clause,
26:44
so
26:45
I'll
26:45
try
26:45
my
26:46
best
26:46
here.
26:46
Is
26:46
there
26:46
any,
26:47
any
26:48
tiny
26:48
sliver
26:49
that
26:49
it's
26:50
like
26:51
they
26:51
don't
26:51
align
26:51
with
26:52
your
26:52
values?
26:52
Or
26:53
is
26:53
it
26:53
always
26:54
that
26:54
projection
26:55
thing
26:55
going
26:55
on?
26:57
Give
26:57
me
26:58
the
26:58
get
26:58
out.
26:58
Give
26:59
me
26:59
a
26:59
get
26:59
out.
26:59
I'm
27:00
not.
27:00
All
27:00
of
27:00
these
27:01
horrible
27:01
things.
27:02
Yeah,
27:02
I'm
27:02
going
27:02
to
27:02
write
27:02
them
27:02
down.
27:03
I
27:03
do
27:03
think
27:03
it's
27:03
true,
27:04
don't
27:04
get
27:04
me
27:04
wrong,
27:04
but
27:04
I'm
27:05
still
27:05
looking
27:05
for
27:05
a
27:05
get
27:05
out
27:06
clause.
27:06
Sometimes,
27:07
yes,
27:07
there
27:07
can
27:07
be
27:08
a
27:08
values
27:08
mismatch
27:09
and
27:09
that
27:09
is
27:09
a
27:09
good
27:09
example.
27:10
It
27:10
isn't
27:10
always
27:11
shadow
27:12
material,
27:12
not
27:13
at
27:13
all.
27:13
However,
27:14
the
27:14
very
27:14
fact
27:14
that
27:15
you're
27:15
cringing
27:17
is
27:17
a
27:17
clue
27:18
that
27:18
there
27:18
will
27:19
be
27:19
things
27:20
like
27:20
not
27:21
anything
27:21
but
27:21
that,
27:22
you
27:22
know,
27:22
and
27:22
that
27:22
would
27:23
be
27:23
a
27:23
really
27:23
put
27:24
a
27:24
flag
27:24
in
27:24
the
27:25
sand
27:25
and
27:25
start
27:25
digging.
27:26
Because
27:26
then
27:26
there's
27:27
some
27:27
shadow
27:27
material
27:28
there.
27:28
I'm
27:29
fully
27:29
open
27:29
to
27:29
it.
27:30
I'm
27:30
self
27:30
aware
27:30
enough
27:31
to
27:31
know
27:31
that
27:31
this
27:31
is
27:32
kind
27:32
of
27:32
embarrassingly
27:33
looking
27:33
for
27:33
a
27:33
guess
27:34
out
27:34
clause
27:34
here.
27:34
And
27:35
now
27:36
the
27:36
really
27:37
beautiful
27:37
thing,
27:38
when.
27:38
We'Re
27:38
projecting
27:39
onto
27:39
the
27:39
other
27:39
back
27:40
to
27:40
this
27:40
kind
27:40
of
27:40
black
27:40
and
27:40
white
27:41
stuff
27:41
when
27:42
they're
27:42
wearing
27:43
it
27:43
for
27:43
us,
27:44
we
27:45
convinced
27:45
that
27:45
it
27:45
is
27:46
awful.
27:46
It's
27:47
a
27:47
poor,
27:47
you
27:47
know,
27:47
lazy.
27:48
Look
27:48
at
27:48
them,
27:49
so
27:49
lazy.
27:50
And
27:50
we
27:51
are
27:51
clear
27:51
and
27:52
firm
27:52
and
27:52
unequivocal.
27:54
What
27:55
happens
27:55
when
27:55
we
27:55
start
27:55
to
27:56
try
27:56
it
27:56
On
27:56
I
27:57
am
27:57
lazy.
27:58
What
27:58
happens
27:59
as
27:59
it
27:59
comes
27:59
closer
28:00
is
28:01
it
28:01
tends
28:02
to
28:02
soften.
28:03
It
28:03
starts
28:04
to
28:04
look
28:04
a
28:05
little
28:05
different
28:05
the
28:06
closer
28:06
it
28:06
gets.
28:07
We
28:07
can
28:07
see
28:08
that
28:08
actually
28:09
sometimes
28:11
there
28:11
might
28:11
be
28:11
value
28:12
in
28:12
lazy.
28:13
Lazy
28:13
can
28:13
be
28:13
a
28:13
bit
28:14
like
28:14
rest.
28:15
I
28:15
need
28:15
to
28:15
know
28:15
how
28:15
to
28:16
rest
28:16
more.
28:16
So
28:17
there's
28:17
a
28:17
fascinating
28:18
thing
28:18
that
28:18
happens
28:19
when
28:19
we
28:19
bring
28:20
it
28:20
a
28:20
little
28:20
closer.
28:21
I
28:22
say
28:22
that
28:22
to
28:22
not
28:23
be
28:23
afraid
28:23
of
28:24
the
28:24
process
28:24
of
28:25
taking
28:25
a
28:25
closer
28:26
look
28:26
because
28:28
it
28:28
changes.
28:29
The
28:30
other
28:30
thing
28:30
I
28:30
want
28:30
to
28:30
say
28:30
about
28:31
projection
28:31
is
28:31
it
28:32
works
28:32
the
28:32
other
28:32
way
28:32
as
28:33
well.
28:34
Think
28:34
of
28:34
people
28:34
that
28:35
we
28:35
really
28:36
admire.
28:38
Who's
28:38
doing
28:38
something
28:39
in
28:39
business
28:39
that
28:39
I
28:40
want
28:40
to
28:40
do.
28:40
Who
28:41
are
28:41
the
28:41
coaches
28:41
that
28:41
I
28:42
look
28:42
up
28:42
to?
28:42
Who
28:43
again
28:43
are
28:43
the
28:43
activists
28:44
or
28:44
the
28:45
maybe
28:45
influencers,
28:46
you
28:46
know,
28:46
people
28:46
that
28:46
I
28:47
look
28:47
up
28:47
to.
28:47
What
28:47
are
28:47
the
28:47
qualities
28:48
and
28:48
attributes
28:48
they
28:49
have?
28:49
They
28:49
are
28:50
so
28:50
what?
28:51
And
28:51
then
28:51
cross
28:51
the
28:52
map.
28:52
So
28:52
I'll
28:52
give
28:52
you
28:52
that
28:53
as
28:53
well,
28:53
Jo,
28:53
because
28:54
our
28:54
shadow
28:55
holds
28:56
incredibly
28:56
beautiful
28:57
resource
28:58
for
28:58
us
28:59
too.
28:59
It's
29:00
not
29:00
just
29:01
the
29:01
icky,
29:02
sticky,
29:02
scary
29:03
still.
29:04
Yeah,
29:04
I
29:05
totally
29:05
agree.
29:06
And
29:06
like
29:07
you
29:07
say,
29:07
I
29:07
think
29:07
we
29:07
do
29:08
definitely
29:08
notice
29:09
the
29:09
positive
29:09
and
29:09
attract
29:10
that
29:10
into
29:10
our
29:11
world.
29:11
So
29:11
I'm
29:12
excited
29:13
to
29:13
go
29:13
deeper.
29:14
So
29:14
that
29:14
was
29:15
which
29:15
piece
29:16
have
29:16
we.
29:16
Done
29:16
projection
29:17
and
29:17
then
29:17
the
29:18
other
29:18
one
29:18
we
29:18
had
29:18
which
29:18
was
29:18
a
29:19
bit
29:19
nuts
29:19
and
29:19
bolts
29:20
and
29:20
works
29:21
really
29:21
kind
29:21
of
29:22
hand
29:22
in
29:22
hand
29:22
with
29:22
projections
29:23
polarities.
29:24
So
29:24
back
29:24
to
29:25
your
29:25
thing
29:25
around
29:25
balance.
29:26
So
29:27
if
29:27
I
29:27
as
29:27
a
29:27
coach
29:28
identify
29:28
as
29:28
being
29:30
compassionate,
29:31
thoughtful,
29:31
empathetic,
29:33
if
29:33
that's
29:33
what
29:33
I'm
29:34
happy
29:34
for
29:34
you
29:34
to
29:34
see
29:35
and
29:35
know
29:35
about
29:35
me,
29:36
then
29:36
I
29:36
might
29:36
encourage
29:37
you
29:37
to
29:37
take
29:37
your
29:37
curiosity
29:38
and
29:39
say,
29:39
well,
29:39
for
29:39
me,
29:40
what
29:40
might
29:40
the
29:40
polarity
29:41
of
29:42
those
29:42
things
29:42
be?
29:43
The
29:44
balancing
29:45
kind
29:45
of
29:45
attribute.
29:47
If
29:47
we
29:48
take
29:48
on
29:48
board
29:49
that
29:49
everything
29:49
has
29:49
its
29:50
complementary
29:50
opposite,
29:51
you
29:52
know,
29:52
what
29:52
might
29:52
that
29:52
be?
29:53
Again,
29:53
not
29:54
all
29:54
of
29:54
those
29:54
are
29:54
going
29:54
to
29:54
be
29:55
shadow
29:55
material,
29:55
but
29:56
if
29:56
you
29:56
don't
29:56
want
29:57
to
29:57
acknowledge
29:58
it,
29:59
well,
29:59
then
29:59
that
30:00
might
30:00
be
30:00
some
30:00
shadow
30:00
material.
30:01
Something
30:01
disowned
30:02
that
30:02
wants
30:02
to
30:02
come
30:03
home.
30:05
So
30:05
two
30:05
great
30:05
things
30:06
to
30:06
play
30:06
with,
30:06
projection
30:07
and
30:07
polarity.
30:09
Yeah,
30:09
totally.
30:10
I
30:10
love
30:10
that
30:10
you've
30:11
given
30:11
me
30:11
an
30:11
idea
30:12
for
30:12
a
30:12
social
30:12
media
30:13
post
30:13
of
30:13
like,
30:14
you
30:14
know,
30:14
she
30:14
is
30:15
strong,
30:15
but
30:16
she's
30:16
also
30:16
soft.
30:17
I'm
30:17
still
30:17
sticking
30:18
to
30:18
the
30:18
positive
30:19
words
30:19
strong
30:19
and
30:20
soft.
30:20
Tell
30:21
me
30:21
if
30:21
I
30:21
was
30:21
to
30:22
do
30:22
a
30:22
post
30:22
on
30:22
this
30:23
or
30:23
Theresa,
30:23
this
30:23
might
30:23
be
30:24
a
30:24
perfect
30:24
post
30:24
for
30:25
you.
30:26
Good
30:26
examples
30:27
of
30:27
that
30:28
polarity
30:29
in
30:29
action.
30:31
There's
30:31
one
30:31
that
30:32
I'm
30:32
still
30:32
working
30:33
through
30:34
and
30:34
I've
30:34
been
30:34
working
30:35
through
30:35
for
30:35
a
30:35
long
30:36
time
30:36
and
30:38
I'm
30:38
glad
30:38
you
30:39
asked
30:39
because
30:40
it's
30:41
one
30:41
of
30:41
the
30:42
experiences
30:43
of
30:43
working
30:43
with
30:43
shadow
30:44
is
30:44
that
30:44
it
30:44
marches
30:45
to
30:45
the
30:45
beat
30:45
of
30:46
its
30:46
own
30:46
drum.
30:47
That's
30:48
what
30:48
I
30:48
found.
30:49
And
30:49
even
30:49
when
30:50
you
30:51
brought
30:52
something
30:52
into
30:53
the
30:53
light,
30:53
it
30:54
can
30:54
be
30:54
complicated
30:55
and
30:55
take
30:55
a
30:55
while
30:56
to
30:56
really
30:57
integrate.
30:57
The
30:58
example
30:58
that
30:58
I
30:58
would
30:58
give
30:59
that
30:59
I've
30:59
been
30:59
working
31:00
with
31:00
for
31:00
a
31:00
while
31:01
as
31:01
a
31:01
coach,
31:01
I
31:02
have
31:02
a
31:02
very
31:02
evocative
31:03
presence.
31:05
I
31:05
get
31:06
fed
31:06
back
31:06
this
31:07
a
31:07
lot.
31:07
I'm
31:07
very
31:07
calm,
31:08
it's
31:08
very
31:08
spacious.
31:09
People
31:10
feel
31:10
safe
31:11
with
31:11
me.
31:12
I
31:12
can
31:12
hold
31:12
space
31:13
beautifully
31:13
well.
31:15
So
31:15
the
31:15
polarity
31:16
there,
31:17
it's
31:17
this
31:18
provocative
31:19
presence.
31:20
So
31:21
if
31:21
we're
31:21
back
31:21
to
31:21
thinking
31:21
about
31:22
the
31:22
range,
31:23
there's
31:23
more
31:24
at
31:24
that
31:24
other
31:24
end
31:25
of
31:25
the
31:25
range
31:26
that
31:26
I
31:26
would
31:26
like
31:27
to
31:27
access.
31:28
To
31:28
be
31:28
able
31:28
to
31:28
disrupt
31:29
somebody's
31:30
thinking,
31:30
to
31:31
kind
31:31
of
31:31
interrupt
31:32
them
31:32
out
31:32
of
31:32
story,
31:33
to
31:34
lay
31:34
on
31:34
quite
31:34
a
31:35
provocative
31:35
challenge.
31:36
For
31:36
example,
31:37
there's
31:37
an
31:37
incredible
31:38
wheelhouse
31:39
of
31:39
stuff
31:40
there
31:42
and
31:42
my.
31:43
I
31:44
know
31:44
it.
31:45
And
31:45
yet
31:46
energetically,
31:48
I
31:48
can't
31:49
quite
31:49
open
31:50
the
31:51
door.
31:52
There's
31:53
still
31:53
more
31:53
to
31:53
do.
31:53
There's
31:54
something.
31:55
Knowing
31:56
isn't
31:57
enough.
31:58
I'm
31:58
required
31:59
to
31:59
dig
32:00
a
32:00
little
32:00
more
32:00
and
32:00
discover
32:01
more.
32:02
Which
32:03
segues
32:04
to
32:04
one
32:04
of
32:04
the
32:04
other
32:05
P's
32:05
actually,
32:05
which
32:05
is
32:06
patterns.
32:07
For
32:07
me,
32:08
it's
32:10
when
32:11
things.
32:11
When
32:12
it's
32:12
difficult
32:13
to
32:13
kind
32:13
of
32:13
integrate
32:15
access
32:16
the
32:16
energy
32:16
of
32:17
something,
32:18
it
32:18
points
32:19
to
32:19
it
32:20
being
32:21
connected
32:21
in
32:22
a
32:22
few
32:22
different
32:22
places
32:23
and
32:23
spaces.
32:24
There's
32:25
something
32:25
in
32:25
this
32:26
provocative
32:27
presence.
32:28
There
32:28
are
32:28
more
32:29
pieces
32:29
of
32:29
the
32:29
pattern
32:30
that
32:30
I
32:30
have
32:31
to
32:31
uncover
32:32
before
32:32
I
32:32
can
32:33
get
32:33
my
32:33
gift.
32:35
Yeah,
32:35
exactly.
32:36
That's
32:36
it.
32:37
And
32:37
because
32:37
I
32:37
often
32:37
find
32:38
it
32:38
really
32:38
frustrating
32:39
that
32:39
I
32:39
feel
32:39
like
32:40
I
32:41
have
32:41
the
32:41
same
32:42
coaching
32:42
session
32:43
again
32:44
and
32:44
again,
32:44
I'm
32:45
like,
32:45
ah,
32:45
it's
32:45
been
32:45
five
32:46
years
32:46
now
32:46
of
32:47
coaching
32:47
and
32:47
I'm
32:48
still
32:49
making
32:49
the
32:49
same
32:50
mistakes.
32:51
So
32:51
I
32:51
guess
32:52
that's
32:52
a
32:52
pattern.
32:52
Well,
32:53
that's
32:53
probably
32:53
lots
32:53
of
32:53
the
32:54
P's
32:54
combined.
32:55
Is
32:55
it?
32:57
Yeah.
32:57
And
32:58
that
32:58
curiosity.
33:00
What
33:00
I
33:00
love
33:00
about
33:00
the
33:01
four
33:01
P's
33:01
than
33:01
the
33:02
other
33:02
one
33:02
that
33:02
we've
33:02
already
33:03
talked
33:03
about
33:03
was
33:03
parts.
33:04
So
33:04
the
33:04
personifying,
33:05
getting
33:05
to
33:05
know,
33:06
coming
33:06
into
33:07
relationship
33:07
with.
33:08
And
33:08
there's
33:08
lots
33:08
of
33:08
different
33:09
ways
33:09
to
33:09
play
33:09
with
33:10
parts,
33:10
including
33:11
bringing
33:11
archetypes
33:12
in.
33:13
So,
33:14
you
33:15
know,
33:15
they're
33:15
kind
33:15
of,
33:15
oh,
33:16
five
33:17
years
33:18
and
33:19
God,
33:20
what's
33:21
wrong
33:21
with
33:21
you?
33:22
And
33:22
it
33:22
might
33:23
well
33:23
be
33:23
that
33:23
there's
33:23
a
33:23
little
33:24
pattern
33:25
for
33:25
want
33:25
of
33:25
a
33:26
better
33:26
P,
33:26
really.
33:27
I'd
33:27
call
33:27
it
33:27
a
33:27
cluster,
33:28
but
33:28
I'm
33:29
calling
33:29
it
33:29
patterns
33:29
of.
33:29
There'd
33:30
be
33:30
a
33:30
cluster
33:31
of
33:31
parts
33:32
potentially
33:33
involved
33:34
in
33:35
the
33:36
narration
33:37
or
33:38
the
33:38
assessment
33:39
rather
33:39
than
33:40
one
33:40
part.
33:40
It
33:40
might
33:41
be
33:41
the
33:41
little
33:41
cluster
33:42
that
33:42
tend
33:43
to
33:43
show
33:43
up.
33:43
And
33:44
it's
33:44
this
33:44
getting
33:44
into
33:45
the
33:45
nuance
33:45
which
33:45
really
33:46
helps.
33:46
Us
33:46
start
33:46
to
33:47
understand
33:47
what's
33:47
going
33:47
on
33:48
and
33:48
work
33:48
with
33:49
and
33:50
separate
33:50
out
33:52
the
33:52
different
33:52
agendas.
33:53
Yeah,
33:54
totally.
33:54
That
33:54
makes
33:55
a
33:55
lot
33:55
of
33:55
sense.
33:56
I
33:56
have
33:56
done
33:56
some
33:57
parts
33:57
work
33:57
with
33:58
somebody
33:58
once
33:58
before
33:59
and
33:59
it
33:59
was
33:59
really
33:59
helpful
34:01
of
34:01
separating
34:02
them
34:02
out.
34:02
And
34:03
it
34:03
helps
34:03
you
34:03
to
34:04
think
34:04
more
34:04
clearly.
34:05
So
34:05
it's
34:05
great
34:05
to
34:06
be
34:06
having
34:06
this
34:06
conversation
34:07
and
34:07
realizing
34:08
that
34:08
cluster
34:08
is
34:09
clinging
34:10
together
34:10
tightly.
34:12
Can
34:13
you
34:13
give
34:13
me
34:13
an
34:13
example
34:14
of
34:15
how
34:15
to
34:16
work
34:16
with
34:17
these
34:17
or
34:17
start
34:18
to
34:19
move
34:19
through
34:20
some
34:20
of
34:20
this?
34:22
My
34:22
word
34:22
of
34:23
the
34:23
year
34:23
is
34:23
boundaries,
34:24
because
34:24
I
34:25
have
34:25
nuns
34:26
and
34:26
I've
34:27
had
34:27
coaching
34:27
sessions
34:28
where
34:28
the
34:28
coaches
34:29
attempted
34:29
to
34:30
like,
34:30
okay,
34:30
let's
34:30
role
34:31
play.
34:31
Set
34:32
a
34:32
boundary
34:32
for
34:33
me
34:33
and
34:33
then
34:34
I'll
34:34
go.
34:34
I'm
34:35
really
34:35
sorry,
34:35
I
34:35
can't
34:35
make
34:36
it
34:36
because
34:36
I'm
34:37
busy
34:38
rather
34:38
than
34:39
I
34:39
actually
34:39
don't
34:40
want
34:40
to
34:40
go.
34:40
And
34:41
it
34:41
feels
34:41
like
34:42
no
34:43
matter
34:44
how
34:44
many
34:44
times,
34:45
I
34:45
just
34:46
cannot
34:46
seem
34:47
to
34:48
set
34:48
the
34:48
boundary.
34:49
Sorry,
34:50
I
34:50
don't
34:50
want
34:51
to
34:51
meet
34:51
you.
34:52
For
34:52
example.
34:53
Yes.
34:54
How
34:55
would
34:55
I
34:55
use
34:55
the
34:56
shadow
34:56
or
34:56
what
34:57
might
34:57
be
34:57
going
34:57
on
34:57
in
34:57
that
34:57
circumstance?
34:59
Lovely,
35:00
lovely.
35:01
Great
35:01
example.
35:02
Because
35:02
you're
35:02
not
35:03
alone.
35:04
Absolutely.
35:05
So
35:06
there's
35:06
so
35:06
many
35:07
people
35:07
listening
35:07
will
35:08
be
35:08
like,
35:08
what's
35:08
the
35:09
magic
35:09
answer?
35:10
And
35:11
unfortunately,
35:12
of
35:12
course,
35:12
there
35:12
isn't
35:13
a
35:13
magic
35:13
answer.
35:14
We
35:14
know
35:15
this
35:15
as
35:15
coaches,
35:15
too.
35:16
There's
35:16
no
35:16
such
35:16
thing
35:16
as
35:16
people
35:17
pleasing,
35:17
but
35:17
there's
35:18
my
35:18
flavor
35:19
of
35:19
people
35:19
pleasing,
35:20
which
35:21
will
35:21
be,
35:22
you
35:22
know,
35:22
in
35:22
all
35:23
likelihood,
35:23
ever
35:23
so
35:24
slightly
35:24
different
35:24
to
35:25
yours
35:25
and
35:25
the
35:25
next
35:26
person's.
35:26
So
35:27
all
35:27
we
35:27
can
35:27
do
35:27
then
35:28
is
35:28
get
35:28
really
35:28
curious
35:29
about
35:29
our
35:29
own,
35:30
use
35:30
the
35:30
labels
35:31
as
35:31
starting
35:32
points
35:33
and
35:33
dig,
35:34
listen
35:35
with
35:35
our
35:35
inner
35:36
ears,
35:36
welcome
35:39
imagination
35:40
and
35:40
messages
35:41
that
35:41
might
35:41
not
35:41
make
35:42
sense
35:42
yet
35:43
being
35:43
willing
35:44
to
35:44
sit
35:44
in
35:44
the
35:44
not
35:44
knowing.
35:45
And
35:45
things
35:46
will
35:46
form,
35:47
sense
35:48
will
35:48
form.
35:48
Meaning
35:49
will
35:49
form
35:49
slowly
35:50
in
35:50
its
35:50
own
35:51
time.
35:51
It
35:51
might
35:52
be
35:52
that
35:52
I
35:53
have
35:53
an
35:53
energetic
35:53
impression
35:54
of
35:54
something.
35:55
It
35:55
might
35:55
be
35:55
that
35:55
an
35:56
image
35:56
pops
35:56
into
35:57
mind.
35:57
There
35:58
may
35:58
be
35:58
a
35:58
word
35:59
or,
35:59
you
36:00
know,
36:00
an
36:01
expression.
36:01
You
36:02
know,
36:02
maybe
36:02
my
36:02
nostrils
36:03
flare.
36:03
All
36:04
these
36:04
tiny
36:04
little
36:05
things
36:06
become
36:06
the
36:07
howl
36:07
of
36:07
my
36:08
curiosity.
36:09
So
36:09
there's
36:09
a
36:09
kind
36:10
of
36:10
a
36:10
yes
36:10
to
36:10
everything,
36:11
even
36:11
if
36:11
none
36:11
of
36:12
it
36:12
makes
36:12
sense
36:12
yet.
36:13
And
36:14
patience,
36:15
because
36:15
shadow
36:16
marches
36:16
to
36:16
the
36:16
beat
36:17
of
36:17
the
36:17
beat
36:17
of
36:17
its
36:17
own
36:18
drum.
36:19
So
36:19
that's
36:19
my
36:19
broad
36:20
intro.
36:20
And
36:20
if
36:21
people
36:21
pleasing
36:21
is
36:22
what's
36:22
most
36:22
familiar,
36:23
then
36:23
I
36:23
would
36:23
say
36:24
parts
36:25
can
36:25
be
36:26
a
36:26
beautiful
36:27
way
36:27
to
36:27
come
36:27
into
36:28
relationship
36:29
in
36:30
the
36:30
way
36:30
that
36:30
you
36:30
would
36:31
with
36:31
somebody
36:31
that
36:32
you
36:32
loved,
36:33
not
36:33
like
36:34
knob
36:34
Ed,
36:35
you
36:35
know,
36:35
I'm
36:36
sick
36:36
of
36:36
you.
36:38
You
36:38
ruin
36:39
everything.
36:40
I
36:40
mean,
36:41
that's
36:41
not
36:41
a
36:41
relationship,
36:42
you
36:42
know,
36:43
it's
36:43
an
36:44
abusive
36:44
relationship.
36:45
What
36:45
we
36:45
want
36:45
to
36:45
do
36:45
instead
36:46
is
36:47
come
36:47
back
36:47
to
36:47
heart
36:48
and
36:49
turn
36:49
with
36:49
love
36:50
and
36:51
genuine
36:51
kind
36:52
of
36:52
curiosity.
36:52
What
36:53
can
36:53
I
36:53
learn?
36:54
My
36:54
goodness,
36:55
I
36:55
wonder
36:56
what
36:56
it
36:56
is
36:56
you're
36:56
trying
36:56
to
36:57
achieve
36:57
for
36:58
me.
36:58
And
36:58
what
36:58
can
36:58
I
36:59
thank
36:59
you
36:59
for?
37:00
What
37:00
are
37:00
the
37:00
gifts
37:01
of
37:01
your
37:02
presence
37:03
that
37:03
I'm
37:03
missing?
37:04
What
37:04
have
37:04
I
37:04
forgotten
37:05
to
37:05
remember?
37:06
And
37:06
this
37:06
kindly,
37:07
loving
37:08
attention.
37:10
And
37:10
then
37:12
people
37:12
pleasing,
37:12
you
37:13
know,
37:13
part
37:13
is
37:13
more
37:14
available
37:14
and
37:14
present.
37:15
So
37:15
then
37:15
there
37:16
may
37:16
be
37:16
a
37:16
little
37:16
more
37:16
of
37:16
a
37:17
turning
37:17
to
37:17
the
37:17
void
37:18
almost
37:19
and
37:19
saying,
37:20
and
37:21
what's
37:21
not
37:21
here,
37:22
then
37:23
you
37:24
know,
37:24
what's
37:24
missing
37:25
here.
37:26
And
37:27
the
37:27
thing
37:27
with
37:27
kind
37:28
of
37:28
hunting
37:29
for
37:29
polarities
37:31
is
37:31
it's
37:31
a
37:31
real
37:32
felt
37:32
sense
37:32
thing.
37:33
There's
37:33
no
37:33
right
37:34
or
37:34
wrong
37:34
answers.
37:35
So
37:36
for
37:36
me,
37:36
energetically,
37:37
what's
37:37
my
37:37
felt
37:38
sense
37:38
of
37:38
what's
37:38
missing
37:39
different
37:40
for
37:40
different
37:40
people.
37:42
Sometimes
37:43
we
37:43
have
37:43
to
37:43
sit
37:43
really
37:44
quietly
37:44
with
37:45
that
37:45
and
37:45
wait.
37:46
But
37:46
there's
37:46
such
37:47
beauty
37:48
in
37:48
the
37:48
intention
37:50
even
37:50
of
37:50
asking
37:51
that
37:51
question,
37:51
like
37:52
I'm
37:52
genuinely
37:53
interested
37:54
what's
37:54
missing
37:55
for
37:55
me.
37:56
It
37:56
might
37:56
not
37:57
make
37:57
sense
37:57
to
37:57
anyone
37:58
else,
37:58
which
37:58
is
37:59
why,
38:00
you
38:01
know,
38:01
it
38:01
can
38:01
maybe
38:02
get
38:02
missed
38:02
working
38:03
with
38:03
another
38:03
person,
38:04
but
38:04
you'll
38:05
know.
38:06
I
38:06
think
38:06
there's
38:07
always
38:07
that
38:07
deep
38:07
knowing
38:09
when
38:10
we
38:10
connect
38:10
with
38:11
at
38:12
some
38:12
level.
38:12
I
38:12
know
38:12
because
38:13
I've
38:13
always
38:13
known
38:14
I
38:14
didn't
38:14
have
38:14
access
38:15
to
38:15
my
38:15
strength
38:16
or
38:16
my
38:16
anger
38:17
or
38:18
my
38:18
meanness
38:19
or
38:19
my
38:19
selfishness
38:20
or
38:21
my
38:21
greediness
38:22
that
38:22
it's
38:22
whatever
38:23
makes
38:23
sense
38:23
for
38:23
you.
38:24
There's
38:25
something
38:25
that
38:25
has
38:25
been
38:25
too
38:26
scary
38:26
to
38:27
access
38:28
that
38:28
will
38:28
become
38:29
a
38:29
resource
38:30
and
38:30
a
38:30
gift
38:31
in
38:31
time.
38:33
Yeah,
38:33
I
38:33
love
38:34
that.
38:34
And
38:34
actually
38:34
it's
38:35
really
38:35
helped
38:35
me
38:35
to
38:35
see
38:36
that
38:36
for
38:36
me,
38:36
the
38:37
opposite
38:37
again,
38:38
using
38:38
the
38:38
polarities,
38:39
which
38:39
is
38:39
definitely
38:40
my
38:40
way
38:40
of
38:40
thinking
38:40
a
38:41
lot
38:41
of
38:41
the
38:41
time
38:42
is
38:42
like
38:43
kindness
38:43
for
38:44
me
38:44
is
38:44
my
38:44
top
38:45
value.
38:46
And
38:46
therefore
38:47
if
38:47
I
38:48
say
38:48
no,
38:49
I'm
38:49
not
38:50
being
38:50
kind,
38:50
I'm
38:50
being
38:51
horrible.
38:51
So
38:51
I
38:51
guess
38:52
it's
38:52
the
38:52
horrible
38:53
kind.
38:54
I'm
38:55
too
38:55
far
38:55
down
38:56
the
38:56
kind
38:56
scale
38:57
and
38:58
I
38:58
need
38:58
to
38:58
invite
38:59
some
38:59
of
38:59
the
38:59
horrible
39:00
scale
39:00
in.
39:02
There
39:02
may
39:02
be
39:03
a
39:03
part
39:03
of
39:03
you
39:03
that
39:03
is
39:04
longing
39:05
for
39:05
attention
39:06
and
39:06
recognition
39:07
or
39:07
peace
39:08
and
39:08
rest,
39:09
or
39:09
boundaries.
39:10
And
39:11
maybe
39:11
it's
39:11
horrible
39:12
to
39:13
the
39:13
part
39:13
of
39:13
you
39:13
that
39:13
is
39:14
longing
39:14
to
39:15
express
39:15
her
39:15
boundaries,
39:16
you
39:17
know?
39:17
So
39:17
then
39:17
it
39:18
works
39:18
that
39:18
way
39:18
as
39:18
well.
39:19
When
39:19
we
39:20
really
39:20
personify
39:20
and
39:21
dignify
39:21
parts
39:22
of
39:22
ourselves
39:22
with
39:23
an
39:23
identity,
39:24
it
39:24
becomes
39:25
easier
39:25
to
39:26
kind
39:26
of
39:26
remember
39:26
that
39:27
too.
39:27
Oh,
39:28
I
39:28
said
39:28
I
39:28
was
39:28
gonna
39:29
look
39:29
after
39:29
you.
39:29
I
39:29
said
39:30
we
39:30
were
39:30
going
39:30
to
39:31
have
39:31
that
39:32
quiet
39:32
night.
39:32
Only
39:33
if
39:33
I've
39:33
made
39:33
that
39:33
commitment
39:35
to
39:35
you,
39:36
because
39:36
I
39:36
really
39:36
want
39:36
to
39:36
nurture
39:37
you
39:37
and
39:37
I
39:37
wanna
39:37
see
39:37
that
39:38
through.
39:38
And
39:38
I
39:38
said
39:39
I
39:39
was
39:39
going
39:39
to.
39:40
Then
39:41
the
39:41
kind
39:41
and
39:41
loving
39:42
thing
39:42
becomes
39:43
you
39:43
know,
39:43
internal.
39:44
And
39:44
then
39:45
it's
39:45
much
39:45
easier
39:45
in
39:45
the
39:45
external
39:46
world
39:46
to
39:46
say,
39:47
oh,
39:48
I
39:48
can't.
39:50
Without
39:50
any
39:50
edge
39:51
of
39:51
horror
39:53
at
39:54
all.
39:55
Yeah,
39:55
I
39:55
just
39:55
can't.
39:56
I
39:57
love
39:57
that
39:57
idea.
39:58
This
39:58
is
39:58
so
39:58
insightful.
39:59
Sorry,
39:59
Teresa,
39:59
I'm
40:00
having
40:00
my
40:00
own
40:00
coaching
40:01
session
40:01
live
40:01
here.
40:03
What
40:03
else
40:03
do
40:03
you
40:03
wish
40:04
I'd
40:04
asked
40:04
you
40:04
or
40:05
do
40:05
you
40:05
think
40:05
the
40:05
audience
40:05
would
40:06
need
40:06
to
40:06
know
40:07
to
40:07
really
40:08
integrate
40:08
this
40:08
and
40:09
welcome
40:09
this
40:09
into
40:09
their
40:10
lives
40:10
and
40:10
their
40:11
practice?
40:12
Well,
40:13
welcome
40:13
into
40:14
your
40:14
life.
40:15
Well
40:15
said,
40:16
really,
40:16
because
40:16
I
40:16
think
40:16
this
40:17
is
40:17
a
40:17
life's
40:17
work.
40:18
This
40:18
isn't
40:18
something
40:19
where
40:19
you're
40:19
gonna
40:19
get
40:19
kind
40:20
of
40:20
quick
40:20
fixes
40:20
or
40:21
quick
40:21
answers
40:22
necessarily.
40:23
But
40:23
for
40:24
me,
40:24
it
40:24
just
40:25
goes
40:25
hand
40:26
in
40:26
hand
40:26
with
40:26
being
40:26
a
40:26
reflective
40:27
practitioner.
40:28
For
40:29
me,
40:29
as
40:29
I
40:29
say,
40:30
it's
40:30
really,
40:30
really
40:31
helped
40:31
my,
40:32
the
40:33
quality
40:33
of
40:33
my
40:33
supervision.
40:34
Feel
40:35
like
40:35
I've
40:36
kind
40:36
of
40:36
jacked
40:36
up
40:36
my
40:37
own
40:37
internal
40:37
supervisor
40:39
in
40:39
a
40:39
sense.
40:40
I
40:40
think
40:40
I
40:40
always
40:40
struggled.
40:41
Well,
40:41
I
40:42
was
40:42
terrible
40:42
at
40:43
reflecting
40:43
on
40:43
my
40:43
practice.
40:44
I
40:44
already
40:44
said
40:45
good,
40:45
bad.
40:45
You
40:46
know,
40:46
I
40:46
would
40:46
say
40:47
if
40:48
it
40:48
works
40:48
for
40:48
you.
40:50
And
40:50
you
40:50
know,
40:51
I've
40:51
worked
40:51
with
40:51
quite
40:51
a
40:51
few
40:51
people
40:52
now
40:52
and
40:52
for.
40:53
And
40:53
it's
40:53
really
40:53
interesting.
40:54
You're
40:54
really
40:54
drawn
40:55
to
40:55
the
40:55
polarities.
40:55
Some
40:56
people
40:56
love
40:56
the
40:56
projection,
40:57
others
40:57
just
40:58
really
40:58
want
40:58
to
40:58
play
40:59
with
40:59
the
40:59
parts.
41:00
And
41:00
it's
41:01
like,
41:01
yeah,
41:01
just
41:01
follow
41:02
your
41:02
curiosity,
41:02
go
41:03
with
41:03
what
41:03
you're
41:03
drawn
41:03
to,
41:04
if
41:04
you're
41:04
drawn
41:04
to
41:05
any
41:05
of
41:05
this.
41:05
It's
41:05
my
41:06
experience
41:07
and
41:07
experience
41:07
of
41:08
others
41:08
that
41:08
I've
41:08
worked
41:08
with
41:09
is
41:09
that
41:09
it
41:09
can
41:09
be
41:09
transformational
41:10
for
41:10
your
41:10
coaching.
41:12
And
41:12
I've
41:12
got
41:12
a
41:12
whole
41:13
series
41:13
of
41:13
beautiful
41:14
Testimonials
41:15
on
41:15
a
41:15
YouTube
41:16
channel.
41:16
So
41:16
if
41:16
people
41:17
are
41:17
interested
41:17
to
41:17
know
41:18
the
41:18
long
41:18
term
41:19
impact
41:20
for
41:20
different
41:21
coaches,
41:21
there's
41:22
some
41:22
wonderful
41:23
reflections
41:24
there
41:24
where
41:24
people
41:24
are
41:25
saying,
41:25
just
41:26
more
41:26
compassionate
41:27
for
41:27
myself,
41:29
more
41:30
compassion
41:30
for
41:30
the
41:30
clients.
41:31
And
41:32
interestingly
41:32
as
41:33
well,
41:33
they
41:33
report
41:34
more
41:34
compassion
41:35
for
41:35
the
41:35
people
41:36
that
41:36
clients
41:36
are
41:37
bringing
41:37
into
41:38
the
41:38
session.
41:39
You
41:39
know,
41:39
whereas
41:39
sometimes
41:40
we
41:40
might
41:40
judge
41:40
that
41:41
person's
41:41
boss
41:42
or
41:42
horrible
41:42
partner,
41:43
whatever.
41:43
You
41:44
know,
41:44
people
41:44
are
41:44
saying
41:45
that
41:45
compassion
41:46
extends
41:46
throughout
41:47
the
41:47
whole
41:47
system
41:48
in
41:48
a
41:48
sense,
41:50
greater
41:50
sense
41:50
of
41:50
ease,
41:51
presence,
41:52
risk
41:52
taking,
41:54
both
41:54
within
41:54
the
41:55
coaching
41:55
relationship
41:56
and
41:56
in
41:56
our
41:56
businesses.
41:58
And
41:59
you
41:59
know,
41:59
the
41:59
lovely
42:00
thing,
42:00
the
42:00
thing
42:00
I
42:00
love
42:00
to
42:01
hear
42:01
is
42:01
that
42:01
you
42:02
can
42:02
only
42:02
go
42:02
as
42:02
far
42:03
with
42:03
somebody
42:03
as
42:03
you've
42:03
gone
42:04
yourself.
42:04
And
42:04
so
42:05
people
42:05
have
42:05
reported
42:05
back.
42:06
Doing
42:06
this
42:06
work
42:08
just
42:08
changes
42:09
something
42:10
in
42:10
that
42:10
way
42:10
that
42:10
we
42:11
communicate
42:11
in
42:11
so
42:11
many
42:12
beautiful,
42:12
unspoken,
42:13
unconscious
42:13
ways
42:14
all
42:14
the
42:14
time.
42:15
Clients
42:15
just
42:16
know
42:16
they
42:16
can
42:16
go
42:17
there
42:17
with
42:17
you.
42:18
That's
42:18
another
42:18
rich,
42:19
deep
42:19
bonus
42:20
of
42:20
integrating
42:21
this
42:21
into
42:21
your
42:22
work.
42:23
Yeah,
42:24
I
42:24
love
42:24
that.
42:25
So
42:25
reminds
42:25
me,
42:26
before
42:26
we
42:26
go
42:26
of
42:27
your
42:27
four
42:27
Ps
42:28
and
42:28
your
42:28
presence,
42:29
your
42:29
fifth
42:30
P
42:30
as
42:30
well.
42:31
We
42:32
have
42:33
projection
42:34
polarities,
42:35
parts
42:37
and
42:37
patterns,
42:38
all
42:39
in
42:39
service
42:40
of
42:41
deepening
42:42
the
42:42
presence
42:43
that
42:43
we
42:43
bring
42:43
to
42:44
our
42:44
coaching
42:44
relationships.
42:46
Ah,
42:46
love
42:46
it.
42:47
Thank
42:47
you
42:47
so
42:47
much,
42:48
Teresa.
42:48
This
42:48
was
42:49
an
42:49
amazing
42:50
call
42:51
and
42:51
I
42:51
cannot
42:52
wait
42:52
for
42:52
people
42:52
to
42:53
listen
42:53
to
42:53
it.
42:54
So
42:54
how
42:54
can
42:54
we
42:54
go
42:55
deeper
42:55
with
42:55
you?
42:55
Did
42:56
you
42:56
mention
42:56
you
42:56
do
42:57
supervision?
42:57
I
42:57
know
42:58
you've
42:58
got
42:58
a
42:58
retreat
42:58
coming
42:59
up.
42:59
How
42:59
can
42:59
we
43:00
learn
43:00
more
43:00
about
43:00
you
43:00
and
43:01
your
43:01
work?
43:02
Yeah,
43:02
so
43:03
I
43:03
am
43:04
running
43:05
two
43:05
more
43:05
retreats
43:06
this
43:06
year
43:06
that
43:07
immersive
43:07
over
43:08
a
43:08
weekend
43:08
for
43:09
coaches
43:09
with
43:10
cces
43:10
attached.
43:12
My
43:12
intention
43:13
for
43:13
those
43:13
retreats
43:14
is
43:14
that
43:14
you
43:15
have
43:15
an
43:15
experience
43:17
of
43:18
the
43:18
work
43:18
so
43:19
that
43:19
you
43:19
can
43:19
take
43:19
it
43:19
away
43:20
and
43:20
do
43:21
it
43:21
for
43:21
yourself,
43:22
by
43:22
yourself.
43:23
And
43:23
then
43:23
I'm
43:23
also
43:24
offering
43:24
supervision
43:25
with
43:25
shadow
43:26
in
43:26
mind
43:27
so
43:27
that
43:28
becomes
43:28
available
43:29
for
43:29
people
43:29
who've
43:29
worked
43:30
with
43:30
me
43:30
on
43:31
the
43:31
retreats.
43:32
So
43:32
that's
43:32
a
43:32
pathway
43:33
through.
43:34
I
43:34
just
43:35
love
43:35
talking
43:35
about
43:35
this
43:35
stuff,
43:36
as
43:36
you
43:36
can
43:36
probably
43:36
tell.
43:37
So
43:37
I
43:37
yammer
43:37
on
43:38
about
43:38
it
43:38
over
43:38
on
43:38
LinkedIn.
43:39
So
43:40
if
43:40
people
43:40
are
43:40
interested
43:41
in
43:41
following
43:42
my
43:42
journey
43:43
and
43:43
insights,
43:43
you
43:43
can
43:44
always
43:44
follow
43:44
me
43:44
on
43:44
LinkedIn
43:45
too.
43:46
Love
43:46
it.
43:46
And
43:47
what
43:47
are
43:47
the
43:47
dates
43:48
of
43:48
your
43:48
retreats?
43:49
I
43:49
hadn't
43:49
realized
43:49
when
43:49
I
43:50
set
43:50
them,
43:50
but
43:50
it's
43:50
the
43:50
spring
43:51
equinox,
43:53
which
43:53
is
43:54
the
43:55
21st
43:56
of
43:57
March,
43:58
and
43:58
that
43:58
one's
43:58
going
43:59
to
43:59
be
43:59
in
43:59
Oxfordshire
44:00
and
44:01
then
44:01
I'm
44:01
going
44:01
up
44:02
north.
44:02
My
44:03
autumn
44:03
one
44:04
is
44:04
on
44:04
the
44:04
17th
44:05
of
44:05
October
44:06
and
44:06
that
44:06
is
44:07
up
44:07
in
44:07
Northumberland
44:09
and
44:10
both
44:10
of
44:10
them
44:11
beautiful.
44:12
Oh,
44:12
I
44:12
would
44:13
so
44:13
love
44:13
to
44:13
be
44:14
there.
44:14
I've
44:14
already
44:14
booked
44:14
two
44:15
retreats
44:15
in
44:16
March
44:17
and
44:18
June.
44:19
Maybe
44:19
I
44:19
can
44:19
squeeze
44:20
in
44:20
an
44:20
October
44:21
one.
44:21
Yeah,
44:21
I
44:21
would
44:22
love
44:22
to
44:22
learn
44:23
more
44:23
about
44:23
your
44:23
work.
44:24
I
44:24
cannot
44:24
wait.
44:24
I
44:25
mean,
44:25
I'm
44:25
already
44:25
following
44:25
you
44:26
on
44:26
LinkedIn
44:26
but
44:26
I'm
44:26
paying
44:27
even
44:27
closer
44:28
attention
44:28
now
44:29
and
44:29
I
44:29
will
44:29
also
44:30
check
44:30
out
44:30
your
44:30
YouTube
44:31
channel
44:31
too,
44:32
so
44:32
thank
44:33
you
44:33
so
44:33
much.
44:33
You'll
44:34
find
44:34
Theresa
44:35
at
44:35
Teresa
44:36
Wilson
44:37
on
44:37
LinkedIn.
44:38
Any
44:39
other
44:39
website
44:39
or
44:39
anything
44:40
you
44:40
want
44:40
to
44:40
leave?
44:41
Yeah,
44:42
I
44:42
think
44:42
it's
44:42
Theresa
44:42
Wilson
44:43
Coaching
44:43
on
44:43
LinkedIn
44:44
and
44:45
my
44:46
website
44:46
is
44:47
Theresa
44:47
WilsonCoaching.com
44:49
wonderful.
44:50
Thank
44:51
you
44:51
so,
44:51
so
44:51
much,
44:51
Theresa.
44:52
I
44:52
loved
44:52
it.
44:53
Thank
44:53
you
44:53
for
44:53
my
44:53
own
44:54
mini
44:54
coaching
44:55
session
44:55
here
44:55
and
44:56
such
44:57
a
44:57
joy.
44:57
Thanks
44:57
for
44:57
having
44:57
me,
44:58
dear.
44:58
Thank
44:59
you
44:59
so
44:59
much
44:59
for
45:00
listening
45:00
to
45:00
this
45:00
episode
45:01
of
45:01
Women
45:01
in
45:02
the
45:02
Coaching
45:02
Arena.
45:03
I
45:03
have
45:04
a
45:04
mass
45:04
of
45:04
free
45:05
resources
45:05
on
45:06
my
45:06
website.
45:07
JoannaLottCoaching.com
45:10
that's
45:10
Joanna
45:11
with
45:11
an
45:11
A
45:11
and
45:12
Lott
45:12
with
45:12
two
45:13
Ts.
45:14
JoannaLottCoaching
45:15
dot
45:15
com
45:16
and
45:16
I'll
45:16
also
45:17
put
45:17
links
45:17
in
45:17
the
45:17
show
45:18
notes
45:18
below.
45:19
Let
45:20
me
45:20
know
45:20
if
45:20
you
45:20
found
45:21
this
45:21
episode
45:21
useful.
45:22
Share
45:22
it
45:23
with
45:23
a
45:23
friend
45:23
and
45:24
leave
45:24
me
45:24
a
45:24
review
45:25
and
45:25
I
45:25
will
45:25
personally
45:26
thank
45:26
you
45:27
for
45:27
that.
45:28
Remember
45:29
to
45:29
trust
45:29
yourself,
45:30
believe
45:30
in
45:30
yourself
45:31
and
45:31
be
45:31
the
45:32
wise
45:32
gardener
45:33
who
45:33
keeps
45:33
on
45:33
watering
45:34
the
45:34
seed.
45:35
Get
45:35
into
45:35
the
45:35
arena,
45:36
dare
45:36
greatly
45:37
and
45:37
try.