Latest / She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence / Ep 21: What if I've fallen off the wagon?

Transcript

Ep 21: What if I've fallen off the wagon? · She Resets: Mindset, Fitness, Confidence

• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, wow, wow, we are nearly at the end of our 12 weeks.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is the penultimate episode of the 12-week mini series reset.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk to you about something that's probably going to happen at some point if it's not already, and that is what if you've fallen off the wagon?
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: You might mess it up, you might have a rubbish week, a rubbish day, a rubbish hour.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: You might stop doing the things you said you'd do.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: You might eat differently, you might miss your workouts, you might get ill, the kids might need you, work might go bonkers crazy mad.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Life might just life.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that is that the goal is not to do everything perfectly, the goal is to learn how to reset.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because the problem isn't falling off track.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, falling off the wagon isn't the problem, I don't think.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: The problem is what happens afterwards.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So you have one bad day and your brain says, Oh, I've ruined it.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: Start again on Monday, or on the first of the month, or on the first of the year.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Because then you have another bad day, and then another bad day, and suddenly that bad day becomes a bad three weeks.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I know I've done it, it must sound familiar.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, most people have done this.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: So stop turning that one decision into your identity.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Remember a couple of weeks ago?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: So you missed a workout.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: So what?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Life happened.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: You had an extra appointment that you couldn't move.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: It clashed, you had to prioritize.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: Missing a workout does not mean that you're lazy.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: Or you ain't more than you plan to.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean you have no control.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: It just means that you might have been eating something particularly delicious.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And where's the crime in that?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it might be that you had a difficult week.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that you can't stick to anything, it just means that you had a difficult week.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's it.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: So don't turn behaviours into identities.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you might have had a piece of toast for your breakfast this morning.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: That does not make you a piece of toast.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's time to get curious instead of critical.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of why am I so useless?
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, what happened?
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Did I take on too much?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Was I too tired?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Did I make the plan too complicated?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Did I try and cram too much into one day?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: That that's what I do.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my husband gets so mad with me.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, what on earth made you think you could do all of that in one day?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's like I don't know.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think about the fact that I've got to get from one place to another.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm Harry Potter.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Think I can just appear there.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: So stop trying to cram too much in.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, were you stressed?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Had something come along that you just needed to kind of think about and lay to rest before you could crack on?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Were you trying to be perfect instead of progressive?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Did did a curveball happen?
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: Did life throw you a curveball?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Something unexpected?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then think about what you can learn from it.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: Be fascinated.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because setbacks can give you information.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: You'll have heard me say this before, and you will definitely hear me say it again.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of my very favourite NLP presuppositions, and it is that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And it is so so true.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is feedback.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe your plan needs changing.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need a bit more support.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to reduce the expectations on yourself.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to sleep more.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you need to stop trying to do everything at once.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's all really useful information.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's all really useful feedback.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So the reset always happens at the next opportunity.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Not Monday, not January.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Always at the first opportunity.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Not after your holiday.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not when you've got back on track.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: The reset happens the next chance you get.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you've eaten a meal that didn't go according to plan, make the next meal normal.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: When I say normal, I mean normal.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: Don't overthink it.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if you went out and had lunch and you ended up splurging, don't write off your day and get a takeaway for tea.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: Just think, right, okay, I splurged a bit at lunch, but my tea can be super.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Can sort that.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you've missed a week of exercise, then don't beast yourself.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Don't punish yourself at the next chance you get to work out.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Just do the next workout as planned.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if you spent the last 45 minutes scrolling, just put your phone down.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Stop it.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to punish yourself.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to decide what's my next step?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: What am I going to do next?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: Because one bad day or one bad part of a day, or even one bad week does not eradicate all the progress that you've made.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And think about the progress you've made over these 12 weeks.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Like maybe you've learned something about your habits, bad habits, new habits, what new habits that you want to install them, how you're going to install them.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've got really intentional about that repetition.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you've started moving more and you're really enjoying it and you found a love for it and you want to keep doing it.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're stronger and you've noticed that you're stronger from lifting children, grandchildren, shopping.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're more confident.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're less critical of yourself.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you started looking in the mirror and thinking, oh, don't mind that looking back at me.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you're finally putting yourself on the list.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're doing any of the above, then one bad day, week, part of your day, does not mean that none of that's happened.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like progress, we don't delete it just because you've had a wobble.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because learning how to recover from the wobble is part of the progress, part of the feedback, part of the learning.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So create a little reset plan now.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Have a think about it, do it later.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Do it now if you want to.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: But just write down on a piece of paper, in your diary, in the notes section of your phone, in a message to me, I don't care.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Write down when I go off track, I will.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe the last one's the most important.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: The one thing I will not do is write off the rest of my day.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: Feel like I failed.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Stop trying.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Insert your own answer.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'll not punish myself.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: I'll not starve myself.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: I'll not exercise to earn food.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I will not tell myself I've failed.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I will not wait until Monday.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, I will reset.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: See what I did there?
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what this whole series has been about.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not about perfection, not about never struggling, because you will, not about getting everything right, because you won't.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: But learning how to reset, learning how to get back on the wagon.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: And if you remember nothing else, remember this.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: You do not have to start again.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus, you must be sick of starting again.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: So stop starting again.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to start again.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: You just have to keep going.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'll catch up with you next week for our final episode.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: Have an awesome week.