Latest / Cameron's Conversations: The last weight loss podcast you'll ever need. / Episode 55: How to get into the weight loss mindset
Transcript
- Cameron Cummings: Welcome to the Cameron's Conversations podcast. And yet again, Harry is here with me. He'll be absolutely sick of me after the end of this episode. But what we're going to be talking about is getting into the dieting or weight loss mentality, which obviously ⁓ as big fans of the cabbage diet, what that means is just getting really, really comfortable with the idea of your entire nutrition being cabbage related. cabbage soup, cabbage smoothie, cabbage leaves, you might even sleep under a bed of them just for an extra benefit, right? So obviously that's not what it's about, but getting into the right weight loss mentality is very important because one of the things that can come up for a lot of people is that they feel overly restricted or really hard done by, and they can actually make their weight loss journey feel much harder, right? Even the language we use, which we're gonna talk about a little bit, we use to talk about it's important, right? You I always joke about this is like, when you are mildly peckish and you say to yourself, I'm absolutely starving, and it's like, it's been 32 minutes since your last meal, you're probably not starving. You're just slightly hungry or indeed, someone in the office has something tasty. So we want to talk all about this because I think this is something that probably you spend a lot more time as coaches helping people work. I think, I would probably think that, and I'm sure Harry will agree, because I know he's quite into this side of it, is that we spend a lot of time on people's mindset and getting that in the right place, because if someone's mindset isn't in the right place, you can put a lot of the structure in, but that won't necessarily be enough. You have to get your head into the right space in terms of expectations, in terms of effort, and in terms of how you just perceive the diet. So I'm gonna kick us off with a first bit of that, and that's the idea of being. feeling really hard done by. And I'm really passionate about this because I went through my own kind of weight loss journey, dropped 20 kilos over nine months. So I know what it's like to do an extended period of dieting. And one of the things that I think people do a lot of is they can feel really hard done by, by every incredibly minor inconvenience, which almost sounds quite harsh and it's not meant to be, but you know that way it's like, if someone's having a biscuit in the office and you can't have one and you're like, oh, so fed up with this diet and it's so hard. Well guess what, your diet is gonna feel really bloody hard if every time someone has a dry digestive biscuit you feel hard done by. A lot of the trade-offs we actually make aren't that big. So yeah, you can run on with that one, Harry. Harry: Yeah, I think that's a really important point of like, recognising that you don't have to do loads, you don't have to completely overhaul every aspect of your life, but you have to acknowledge that you want change and I think having that expectation from the start of like, why are you here? Like, why are you in a position where you want this change? Probably because you want to feel better, you want all of these... all these benefits, like it's really important to focus on those points. And avoid that feeling of like, you know, just, just regret as to why you're doing this or why you have to do this and try and see it as an empowerment, like try and see it as an opportunity to be positive, to work towards something. I think there's a huge, huge value. in doing things that are a little bit difficult. I think there's a massive value in doing the things you say you're going to do and their skills. That is a skill that you can, you can learn and develop as far as like, I want to be someone that if I say I'm going to do it, I bloody well give it a go. And, and just as a bit of a bonus point, think for that is something that I use a lot with clients. And it really, really helps these kinds of moments where you do feel a bit hard done by is Give yourself something to look forward to, whether that's on a daily basis, whether that's on a weekly basis, monthly, whatever. And you know, on a daily basis, it could be that you save one of your favorite foods for later on in the evening because it makes it so much easier when Barbara in the office tries to give you that dead looking digestive. ⁓ And you only want it because you feel like you can't have it by the way It's not that you actually want it you look at and think that looks pathetic But because you're telling yourself you can't have it you want it But if you've got something that you're looking forward to later on in that day It is so much easier to say now. I'm a catchy. I'm good because in your mind you're like what do I want more and it's then kind of making a decision on on what you prefer rather than I can't have that I can't have this because that will help massively. ⁓ but yeah, I definitely think trying to view it as a positive, ⁓ why you're doing this, the fact that you have the control to do this, it should be empowering and it just takes that little tweak in your mindset to get into that position. Cameron Cummings: Yeah, And I think sometimes, rather than being sort of hard done by, you can be like, ⁓ do you know what? I fancied that biscuit a bit, but I'm not gonna have it because that doesn't fit my goals. And then being kind of a bit proud of that and just being like, yeah, I'm making a conscious choice. And like Harry said, it might not be, it's not because we're expecting you to be a saint here by any means. You might be a glass of wine later, but you're looking forward to that. And that's the thing that you've planned in. And I guess planning's a big part of this, right? Where you're kind of proactive, whereas you know. if you have two or three those little biscuits, you're not even that bothered about that you inhale and then 10 minutes later you forgot you even had them and if I was to ask you how much you enjoyed them, you're probably like, four out of 10, like they were fine, like nothing that exciting. And then you kind of feel like, ⁓ right, now I have to have a smaller dinner or I can't have that thing that I'd planned on later in the week. It's not worth it. But the key thing here is, can't feel hard done by about every minor inconvenience. And that applies to lots of things that even with steps and stuff as well, like I real often joke about this, like I'm from the Northeast of Scotland. So when someone's like, ⁓ it's a bit rainy outside. I don't fancy going out for a walk. I'm like, sorry, did you say you don't like going for a walk in summer? I'm like, that's summer for us. I mean, come on now, what we talking about here? But like, I always kind of make a bit of a joke about it. But I think it's another thing, isn't it? It's like, I have a lot of clients who literally before they came into coaching would have been like, ⁓ Yeah, do you know what, it's raining, can't be bothered going out, and it would just be enough, like even little barriers, and now they just stick their headphones in, go out in the rain jacket, and they're like, I'll actually feel much better for going out for a walk anyway. So a lot of the things that you think are hard tasks and more challenging are actually just minor inconveniences, right? There are some genuinely hard things, and there will be times that you're maybe a lot more tempted and it takes a lot more willpower, but in essence, the kind of first thing I wanted to start with is don't let the small things get to you. It's what I would say. Don't make your life harder than it needs to be. Don't make everything seem like it's a huge trade off, like ultimately not having a biscuit. If you won't remember about it tomorrow, then you really shouldn't care about it that much today. So that's kinda my first one. So I'll let you jump in with your next one about getting into that dieting mentality. Harry: Yeah, I think it kind of follows suit really, but I'm always telling people positive actions. Positive actions and just try and encourage them as much as you can. And that looks different for everyone. for someone that might look like going to the gym might be one of those positive actions. For someone else, it might be having that kind of routine scheduled breakfast that they have every day that they know ticks the boxes, gives them good protein, gives them good fiber, works for whatever their goal is. You got to view these things, these actions, these behaviors as positive. And when you do, they just compound and you just find yourself in an absolute autopilot of just ticking the boxes in a really great place. where it can start kind of slowing people down is the breakfast changes. And then there are a lot, that little routine. And then they don't go for that morning walk that they might normally do, or they don't go to the gym that morning when they said they were going to go and do it. And it's then feeding this negativity of all of a you're missing the target. You're missing the goal every single time. And then it just, again, it will compound. So it's being really on it. And front loading the day is something that I talk about a lot where it's like, look, start the day. hitting something really positive. And that can look like a million things and it's different for every single person. I'm not saying you need to get up at 5am to go to the gym. I wouldn't do it. I don't expect you to do it. But it's finding something that works for you that feels positive. That might be just walking the dog. That might be getting up and doing some stretches or whatever it is. Find something that works, that feels good for you. Your body will tell you, your mind will tell you when you do something good and just do it because you will find every single decision from that moment is so much easier to make a positive reason. And, you know, it's something that definitely is as a PT in a gym, you see all the time where, you know, you spend an hour with someone and it's not enough time to change their lifestyle or any of anything like that. because they've gone to the gym, because they've paid for that PT session, because they've put the effort in that PT session, they go home and have a really good lunch. They plan their dinner and have a really good dinner. They manage their snacks and don't kind of just sit on the sofa and eat a whole box of Maltesers or whatever it might be. Sounds great. Um, but it's like, it is managed because of that, that one initial positive change that then fed the next one and then the next one and the next one. So that is a massive, massive tip, I think. Cameron Cummings: And Harry's really opened up the floor for my favourite topic of all time, which is my protein smoothies that I have every day. So anyone that follows me on Instagram will be absolutely sick to the back teeth of these. I made a joke about that today. was like, had a new low weight because I'm in a weight loss phase two. And I was like, might treat myself to a protein smoothie just to change it up for the 187th day in a row. But the point is, that I know I joke about that, but the actual reason I put that on, apart from just poking fun at the fact that I'm so repetitive with it, is actually for me, that sets up my day really bloody well. And there is a bit of a reason I post about it, is to show a little bit about like, just consistency. And the thing is that Harry's touched on is like, talking about positive actions. So when I think about like having breakfast, what I really like about having a smoothie is it makes me feel really full. I know it's chock full of fruit as well. So it takes a big box. And I, to be fair, I'm naturally someone who needs a decent amount of fruit. I'm not naturally somebody who eats a lot of veg. So getting my fruit and veg intake up is something I've had to consciously, like consciously work on. I always say this to clients, like I was not a massive veg eater, like growing up. I absolutely would have some veg, but not loads and loads, and I wasn't a lover of it. So for me, it's kind of a little bit of a statement of like, okay, I start my day, I get a good chunk of protein in, I get a whole chunk of fruit in. And I'm very positive about it. So I always like look forward to it. I always enjoy it and I always feel good afterwards. I think that's something as well, like that can be useful as this idea of like a positive action. Why have that every single day? And that gives me that little bit of momentum for the day. It's very routine. Like there's no guesswork. So takes no mental effort. I know what I'm having, but I also know it sets me up. And I see that as a positive because I started my first meal of the day off with something really healthy and something that works really, really well for me. And it keeps me full. So I've kind of set myself up well for my day ahead. So it's like the perfect example of something in my life that I use as like a little springboard, a tiny little positive habit that probably looks boring as hell when you see it on Instagram every day, but for me that works, right? And it's a perfect example of like, that keeps me in that mindset of whether it's weight maintenance, whether it's weight loss. Like I'm in that head space of like, ⁓ if I start my day having my smoothie, I'm eating healthy. It sets that intention for the day as well. rather than kind of just being like, oh well, know, whatever. Because I know full well if I have a bowl of Coco Pops and a slice of toast, in like 37 minutes later, I am starving. And then it just, it's all downhill from there, right? I'm batting hunger. So that's a really important thing is like just setting small sort of habits. And I think another one around the actual kind of mindset and that side of things too is this, is that I think it is so, so important that you make sure that you are Positive about the things you do now one of the things that I see a lot of is that people can be really really critical now There's a difference between being pragmatic and self-aware So if I look at Harry's nutrition and he's over his calories as a coach, right? I'm not gonna say ⁓ Harry that's perfect. Like don't worry about anything out like we're gonna talk about that and be like, okay Do you know what we're over calories? We probably want to tackle that and we'll look at that But what we don't do is we don't ignore all the other wins and I've seen this so many times before or someone will maybe nail their calories, nail their protein, they've been to the gym twice, but they ended up being like 200 steps under their steps and they're like, oh yeah, I'm really annoyed at myself for being under my steps. Now, it's absolutely fine to say, do you know what, I could do a better job of my steps next week, I probably could have hit them. That's absolutely fine. And then you create a plan, you don't just say, oh, I'll try and do better next week. Like that's not really good enough, you kinda need to have an actual structure, like what would you change specifically? What is the? one, maybe two things that you would do differently to hit that. Sure, reflect on that and then move on. But you've also got to reinforce the positives. Actually, Harry, you did really well on your calories, you did really well on your protein. You've told me that you managed that meal out really well. And we'll go into these things as coaches and we'll talk about that and be like, do you know what? You're handling your weekend so much better than you did six months ago. And actually that's allowing us to make all this weight loss progress you're doing brilliantly. You focus on the positives as well. That's not to say we brush over things that aren't where they need to be. but you've got to be positive because so many people are brilliant at being really negative. So they'll find the one hole in their week, the one thing they didn't do as well, and they then beat themselves up about it. They don't create a plan from it. It's just kind of a, I'll try harder, which means pretty much nothing. Like you need to kind of just think, okay, well, what does that actually look like? And that's really important because if you want to have a better relationship with all these things, if Harry says, I'm really proud of myself for smashing. you my calories and I'm really proud of myself for Saturday night because I normally eat like a numpty and I've done much better. Is he going to be much more likely to then do that again? Of course he is because he's been positive about it. It becomes part of his identity because it's reinforced rather than something that he's just like, ⁓ yeah, whatever. Like, and that's really important too. Harry: Yeah, I think that's massive. think as coaches, we spend a lot of our time showing people the amazing progress they're making that they're not noticing or they're not seeing because of the exact reason of not looking for it. They're looking at the negatives and a bit of a kind of analogy that I use for it is if you go to a wedding, I don't know, let's say you've got for ladies, let's say you've got this dress on, got your hair, makeup done, whatever. And 100 people come up to you and they go, Oh my God, you look incredible. This is amazing. You look so great. You're like, Oh, thank you very much. It's awesome. Thank you. And then you walk past someone and you hear them going, Oh God, don't like her dress. And you hear them say that now, which one the next day are you going to be thinking about? Are you going to be thinking about the hundred people saying, Oh, great. You looked, or are you going to be thinking about that one person that said that negative thing? Our brains as humans will focus on the negative. It's the way it works. So being able to have control, to stop that happening is super valuable. And like Cameron said, you know, there are points where it's worth being self-aware. It's worth acknowledging, okay, I could do a little bit better there. I could try and improve that. How could I kind of try and do that? That's great. But then sometimes it's like, don't... step over a five pound note to pick up 50p. Do you know what I mean? Like pay attention to the big picture, pay attention to the things you're doing well. And I love referring people back to like, look what you used to do. Look what your normal was. Right. And it's like, if you can go away on this holiday or this weekend away and come back and go, Oh, I did much better than normal or I've done much better than I have done previously. That's progress and that's great. And that's something to focus on as well. Um, you just have to kind of understand the way our brains work. And I heard this I can't remember what podcast this was on I heard it ages ago but I think it's bloody brilliant it was in context of something else but like usual I'm gonna steal it if you look around your room right now as you're listening to this and you kind of count everything you can see that's blue I want you just to count everything that's blue and then if I was to say to you how many things did you see that were yellow You aren't going to be able to tell me right because you are not paying attention to the big picture You are simply looking for one specific thing now if you go in and you're looking at the negatives whether that's within your data or on scales or in the mirror and you stand in front of that mirror in a bad mood feeling bad about yourself You're going to be looking for the negatives which will stop you from seeing all the great things you're doing as well And as coaches that is a massive part of what we do and say hold on a minute. Look at this. Look how much stronger you've Look how much fitter you are. Look how two weeks ago you said you walked up that hill when you do the school run and you didn't get out of breath at the top and you actually felt really awesome. You felt like you could run up it. Like these winds are the things to pay attention to and it's so important I think having that mentality and it's hard to have it. It takes time but if you start planting the seed now for it, it will develop. Cameron Cummings: Yeah, I think that's it, isn't it? It's like reinforcing good habits because so many of it, like if you think about it, if it was your partner, your kid or your friend who's trying to make a change and you're like, ⁓ that's amazing. You're doing this. Like they probably go away feeling pretty good about that. Right. Like if you're like, ⁓ I've been to the gym three times a week and you're like, ⁓ that's amazing. That's like such a change. You've gotten such a good routine. Well done you and you're happy for them. But then if you talk to yourself like, ⁓ yeah, well, was good you went to the gym, but you didn't. there was one exercise you didn't progress on. Like if you nitpick everything apart and then aren't positive, like you're just never going to feel the way that you want to write about it. And I do see that where I think that a lot of clients who have a lot of success with weight loss, one of the things that they're good at is celebrating some of their wins as well and being like, yeah, you know what, I did this really well. And it doesn't even have to be big, sexy, exciting wins. Like, yes, there's going to be like, you know, I've got a few messages over the weekend from clients being like, look, I'm on holiday and this is the best shape I've ever been in my life. That's a huge win and that's cool. But a lot of that stuff comes from, and the same clients, the same people that maybe two months ago were saying, actually I went out for a meal and instead of face planting in every single dish and just going for whatever the hell I wanted, I showed a bit of moderation, I had something I enjoyed, but then ended up sharing dessert. And it's these little wins that allow you to stack up and get into that kind of weight loss mindset in a lot better way. So I think that's also it as well. And I think, The other thing that I kind of wanted to touch on with the weight loss mindset as well is understanding and getting your sort of expectations right, I think is really important. Like one of the things that I always joke about is that most people seem to have picked up the weight loss expectations from either like 1990s Slimming World or whatever it is, or like something their like mum said to them when she, cause you know, like every. female client in their 40s and 50s will probably have had their mum say, like, oh, I've got a stone and a half to lose because everyone has a magical stone and a half to lose. It's just a fact of life, right? From that kind of diet generation. And a lot of the time people have really skewed weight loss expectations because they've just picked them out of thin air. So they're just like, oh, I should be losing two pounds a week. Well, should you? Because actually, if you're at a much heavier body weight, you might be able to lose slightly quicker than that. and great, but if you're also a 60 kilo female who's pretty small, like losing two pounds a week, which is equivalent to basically a kilo a week, is gonna be a bloody hard task in the long term, like doing that over six to eight weeks. I don't mean in week one where you might see some initial wins, but that's just not realistic. So I also think this is part of it as well, is getting the expectations right, and very often one of the first things I do when I've got one-to-one clients coming in, is I will talk to them about what I'm expecting in terms of their average weight loss and the way that I'll kind of review it. And I'll often say like, I'm looking for an average of this and I use a percentage. So I use between half a percent to 1 % of body weight. Now it depends on the client because I have some clients that will be dieting bit more aggressively. Some will be taking a bit more slow and steady approach. It's appropriate depending to the client. But I will say we're looking between half a percent and 1%. That's what this looks like, Harry. And if I look back over the last four weeks, I can see that we're we're on track for that or we maybe need to make a little tweak but they have an expectation of what they should be losing right so they know so they're not going to turn around to me and say actually in the last four weeks I've lost two and a half kilos and I'm really bloody disappointed Cameron I'm really upset about it like I've done terribly and they weigh 60 kilos and they've lost two and a half kilos and you're like your hands in your what's it your heads in your hands as a coach you're like you've absolutely smashed it and you're worried about that but there's a reason that happens if I don't have that conversation in the first place as a coach, it's because people just don't know what to expect. So they think that losing a stone in a month is reasonable and for most people it's not at all. Harry: Yeah, it's another big one, isn't it? It is people's expectations as always. Funny enough, way more than what is actually in reality. And then what happens is they think they're going to be losing X amount per week and you're kind of thinking, well, that's probably not. really what you want to be aiming for, then it becomes a slow process to them, right? It's slow because I'm not losing that two kilos a week and you're thinking you don't want to be losing that much. Like you genuinely don't want to because you're going to have to be so restricted. There's then risks of, you know, potentially losing a bit of muscle and stuff like this, which you don't want to go to. Cameron Cummings: And if you're a 60 kilo female, and I love doing a bit of maths on this, is remember that there's 7,700 calories in a kilogram of fat, a body fat. So you need to be, if you want to lose a kilo a week of body fat, you need to be in an 1,100 calorie deficit. So if someone says to you, I want to lose one and a half to two kilos, let's say they want to lose maybe two or even three pounds a week, you're like, okay, well, and I've done this before where clients have said that, and when they've come in and been like, I'm just gonna explain this to you. and I'm almost going to be like, I'm going to let you make a decision about this, and it's kind of always a bit of a joke and there'll be a bit of back and forth, I'll a bit of fun with it. But basically what we'll look at is we'll say, right, well your maintenance calories are 1800 and we're saying that we want to lose a kilo a week, that would be an 1100 calorie deficit. So what that means is you can have 700 calories a day, but you need to do that every day without fail. You are not allowed to even deviate because if you go a bit over that, you're going to be under your rate of weight loss. they're like, mm, yeah, okay, fair enough. That's not sustainable. And then I'm like, right, so that upper end where you thought maybe one and a half kilos or three pounds a week, let's do the maths on that. I'm like, so the good news is you're minus 300 calories. So I'm like, so you need to eat any food at all ever and walk even more and go for a run on top of it. And obviously it's just being a bit facetious and joking about it, but it's a good way of kind of challenging that thought. And I always do try and have a bit of fun with it with clients and be like, look, these are what the numbers say. And that's what we're working with. And I explain it to them. Properly so they have an understanding but I think that's really empowering because then people are like ⁓ So like that is just bullshit that I've been told about like losing crazy amounts of weight and I often say this to them I'm like so you might think how do people lose really big sways of weight in a week or ten days and often it's not because it's water weight because it's the start of a diet or because they're Doing something hyper restrictive they have early wins, but I say to them look at them three weeks four weeks on what happens well they bounce back because they can't the can't continue that because they can't allow for it in terms of their calories. So it takes away some of the, I don't know what's the word, it almost takes away your feelings about it and puts numbers in place and be like, I know you want to lose two kilos a week, but can you? Well, no, you can't. Like that's objective. Like even for me to drop two kilos a week, I would be literally on, what, like 800 calories a day? No thanks. And that's if I'm really active, if I was really, really active, yeah, no thank you. I could give that one a bloody miss. Harry: Yeah, it's one of those, isn't it? Where it's, and it don't, that can, if you sat listen to this in your five foot kind of 60 odd kilos and you're thinking, ⁓ but that means it's going to be even so the differences is you don't need to see as much dramatic weight change to see the changes on your body or feel the changes. So it's all It's all relative to the whole big picture of kind of all of this stuff as far as fitness, but it's just having that expectation of like, ⁓ yeah, I'm not going to be someone that loses two kilos a week because that's a great thing to know. Like Cameron said, it's empowering. It's great to not have the expectation and go, you know what? That's not me. And I don't need to think about that because it's not me. doesn't relate to me. understanding you and your body go okay I actually need to adjust my expectations I don't need or want to see that much dramatic loss and that's where there's a lot of empowerment in there so yeah it's good Cameron Cummings: And I think that's a really good point as well, is because like, Hughes, I'm gonna almost fire this as a question at Harry, because I think that's nice way of framing it. Let's say you have a client who comes to you and is 62 kilos, right? And is five foot, I don't know, three or four. So, you know, a relatively small female client and is 62 kilos. How much weight would you think it would take them? I don't mean to be in the leanest possible shape ever. how much weight do you think it will take them before they notice it in their clothes? When they maybe say that first, like, ⁓ feel like my clothes are all a bit looser. Harry: Yeah, I mean it does change for everyone. I had a client this morning, so I had a client this morning. She's gone from 64 to about 62 kilos and she said she's starting to see and notice the differences in two kilos. Cameron Cummings: 100 % and that and that's two kilos right which doesn't sound like a tremendous amount of weight and I would agree with that I would say for most people that can a lower end of that like you might be somewhat or someone the six days and you notice you will drop like two or three kilos especially initially and that's plenty to kind of like clothes that were tight are no longer tight they're all kind of loose on you I don't mean hanging off you but and it obviously depends as how you said on everyone's body composition but the gap isn't that wide If I look at like even my little weight loss phase that I've been kind of going through as well, I started that off at what 86 and a half. And I would say that I noticed a significant change in how my clothes fit after about three kilos. So that's where it was about three, three and a half kilos. I have like progress photos that kind of show some visual changes. But also I would say that like when I was putting on t-shirts, I was like, oh, these are like a bit looser than they were. So often is not the key thing here is to is that people's expectations are also different and that. Like sometimes we do have quite a bit of weight to lose and it takes a little while, but also we generally just want to feel more confident than we do in this current moment. And one of the nice things is if you're sat there thinking, oh, that's going to take a while then, well, yeah, but even if you're losing 0.5, 0.6 kilos in three or four weeks, you'll probably notice a tangible difference in how all your clothing fits, right? So that's quite big. And then another three, four weeks on, it fits completely differently to when it did at the start. So I think that can be quite empowering too when it comes to expectations. The problem is is that Sometimes even if you are sitting at 80, 90, 100 kilos and you're kind of thinking, I've got a lot of weight to lose though, even then probably four kilos off and you'll notice a difference, right? It just depends on where your start point is, but often to start to feel a bit of an improvement doesn't take that long at all. No. So yeah, that was just a kind of like final point we wanted to do on that one. So we'll round up there guys. So thank you very much for listening. If you would like the link to one-to-one coaching, you are struggling with your own weight loss journey and some of what we said has been even in slightest bit helpful and has kind of nudged you on to feeling like, maybe I do need a little bit of a hand with things because I'm struggling a bit on my own. Then the link is in the show notes at the top. And just below that, there's also a link to my free fat loss plan as well, which will take you through how to drop five kilos, structure out your nutrition, and just give you some sensible expectations in terms of weight loss too. So you can grab that in the show notes and download that there. Otherwise, have a great day and thank you for listening.