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E116: The Science of Play · The Bright Side of Longevity (Hosted by Dr. Roger Landry, MD, MPH)

0:13
Speaker 1: Welcome to the bright Side of Longevity, joined host doctor
0:17
Speaker 1: Roger Landry along with co host Danielle Payee and guests,
0:21
Speaker 1: as they discuss the bright side of getting older through
0:23
Speaker 1: healthy longevity. Guided by research, this lighthearted and educational show
0:29
Speaker 1: will leave you with practical ways to brighten your life's journey.
0:52
Speaker 2: Well, welcome everybody to the bright Side of Longevity. This
0:55
Speaker 2: is doctor Roger Landry and I'm here with my esteem colleague,
1:00
Speaker 2: Danielle Payee. Danielle, how are you today?
1:03
Speaker 1: I'm doing really well, excited about one of my favorite topics.
1:06
Speaker 1: But I say that every time, don't I.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're just going to play around today.
1:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, sounds good.
1:13
Speaker 2: That actually is our topic. Well, you know, not that
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Speaker 2: I'm surprised at all, because Danielle is I don't know,
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Speaker 2: she amazes me more every day. But she just gave
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Speaker 2: a presentation, an international presentation virtually to coaches throughout the
1:31
Speaker 2: world on the topic of playfulness. Now, don't jump to
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Speaker 2: conclusions you're talking about kids play here.
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Speaker 3: No, we're not. You're going to find out it's more
1:42
Speaker 3: than that, isn't it.
1:43
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
1:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is so you know, you know, we wonder
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Speaker 2: why do we stop playing as adults, well, because you
1:52
Speaker 2: know we have to. We are told we're adults. Now,
1:56
Speaker 2: you can't do that sort of everything has to be about,
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Speaker 2: uh do sing things or being a model or a
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Speaker 2: mentor or whatever. Those that's all pretty good, But why
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Speaker 2: does that necessitate that we don't play anymore? Because you
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Speaker 2: know what it's essential for physical and mental health. You
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Speaker 2: know it's not acting silly or even well, even young,
2:20
Speaker 2: but say it's staying emotionally open, curious, resilient and seeing
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Speaker 2: the world. Would wonder We're going to find that out
2:27
Speaker 2: because Danielle is going to tell us today. You've got
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Speaker 2: a quote that addresses this right out of their shoot.
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Speaker 3: Don't you.
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Speaker 1: I do, And I share it with a lot of
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Speaker 1: my coaching clients, and I'll share it right now. The
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Speaker 1: opposite of play is not work. The opposite of play
2:43
Speaker 1: is depression. And that comes from the founder of the
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Speaker 1: National Institute for Play, doctor Stuart Brown. Pretty powerful, don't
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Speaker 1: you think.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is play depression. Let's see which one should
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Speaker 3: I choose?
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Speaker 1: All right? And I bring it up because I talked
3:00
Speaker 1: to so many people. We have so many obligations, and
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Speaker 1: they think that playing, like you said, is for kids
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Speaker 1: and people feel guilty playing. So we want to convey
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Speaker 1: today that play is essential and it's not trivial, and
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Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be big. You don't have to
3:17
Speaker 1: go join a soccer team or do anything really formal.
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Speaker 1: You can play with ideas and creative ideas. It can
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Speaker 1: be exploring the world with lightness, and I'll give you
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Speaker 1: some examples. Could be singing while cooking, doodling, laughing with
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Speaker 1: a friend, spotting images in the cloud, or joyful movement.
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Speaker 1: I know, when I unload my groceries, I dance around
3:40
Speaker 1: the room. It takes me twice as long to put
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Speaker 1: the groceries away, but it's more fun and it can
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Speaker 1: be a really good social connector, which we'll get into.
3:49
Speaker 1: You know, I just went to a routine doctor's appointment
3:51
Speaker 1: today and one of the medical texts there came out and,
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Speaker 1: you know, to ease everybody's you know, having to wait
3:56
Speaker 1: in the waiting room, offered to sing for us. And
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Speaker 1: he joked he was this professional karaoke singer and he's
4:02
Speaker 1: just doing this on the side. Of course that's not true,
4:05
Speaker 1: but it lightened the load. Everybody's laughing and it just
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Speaker 1: makes things, you know, if you have to wait in
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Speaker 1: the doctor's office at least laugh a little, right.
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Speaker 2: Absolutely, why not? You know it's a place where people
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Speaker 2: are stressed. And wow, no, wonder we're so stressed today
4:17
Speaker 2: when we first thought I had when you propose this playfulness, really,
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Speaker 2: I mean you know we have more substantive issues to cover. No, No,
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Speaker 2: in reality, we don't because you know, you know, stress
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Speaker 2: is everywhere, We're consumed with it, and you know that
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Speaker 2: this is a this After speaking with you about this
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Speaker 2: and preparing for this, I'm just amazed that how we
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Speaker 2: have marginalized this and not considered it so important because well,
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Speaker 2: you talk about curiosity and no, we're going to play
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Speaker 2: a game first, aren't we.
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Speaker 1: Yes, we are, we are. I was hoping you you
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Speaker 1: were going to let me share an example, so you know,
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Speaker 1: for problem solving and stress reduction, we can play metaphorical games.
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Speaker 1: There's journaling, there's mindful visualizations. So Roger, I am using
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Speaker 1: you as my test subject today.
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Speaker 3: I'm ready and we'll.
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Speaker 1: Explain a little bit in a moment. What animal embodies
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Speaker 1: how you'd like to show up in the world today.
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Speaker 1: All right, got it?
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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I do you want to know?
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Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely?
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Speaker 3: A dog?
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Speaker 1: A dog? Okay, So what are the qualities of a
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Speaker 1: dog that you want to embody.
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Speaker 2: I think that they're very present, They're very loyal, They're
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Speaker 2: they're very happy, they're patient, They're.
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Speaker 3: I'm required love.
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Speaker 2: You know, I'm not unrequited, you know, unconditional like unconditional Yeah,
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Speaker 2: love and joy?
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Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right.
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Speaker 2: And those are traits that I think would would better
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Speaker 2: the world, and certainly would be better if I demonstrated
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Speaker 2: them more than I do.
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Speaker 3: So, yeah, dog, you.
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Speaker 1: Want to show up as a dog? Okay? Now, if
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Speaker 1: you had a situation where you wanted to feel like
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Speaker 1: strong and confident and you had to imagine what animal
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Speaker 1: you'd be, does that animal change depends on the dog,
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Speaker 1: So maybe it changes into a pitfull Yeah.
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Speaker 3: A pit bull from a Golden retriever. Yes, I to
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Speaker 3: go towards the Golden Retrievers, but I don't know. A
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Speaker 3: horse might come into the horse here.
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Speaker 1: Okay, And how does a horse embody strength?
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Speaker 2: Well, because they weigh two thousand pounds, usually you can
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Speaker 2: see the muscles, they can run for ever. They they're
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Speaker 2: incredibly strong and and yet going back to the traits,
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Speaker 2: they're able to form a relationship with the rider where
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Speaker 2: they could easily get rid of the rider, easily hurt
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Speaker 2: the rider, easily kill the rider.
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Speaker 3: Yet they don't.
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Speaker 2: And and they they're they're even though they're strong, they
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Speaker 2: use their strength for the goods, so to speak, for
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Speaker 2: the relationship and not to show off or hurt others
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Speaker 2: or whatever.
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Speaker 1: Very nice, Okay, last one, and see if this animal changes.
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Speaker 1: What if you need to feel more peaceful, like you're
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Speaker 1: feeling agitated, what would you what animal would embody feeling
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Speaker 1: peaceful and relaxed.
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Speaker 2: I think I'm back to a dog, back to a dog,
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Speaker 2: a particular species of dog and golden retrievers. For me,
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Speaker 2: they can they can settle in no matter what's going on,
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Speaker 2: you know, they can be left alone for a long
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Speaker 2: time and they settle in. Although I did have a
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Speaker 2: friend whose dog ate the sofa when he left them alone,
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Speaker 2: but that's a different species and maybe a different you know,
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Speaker 2: anxious dog. But yeah, that most of the dogs that
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Speaker 2: I have had are able to blend into the world
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Speaker 2: and not have to require look at me attention or
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Speaker 2: be annoying or lead the lead the discussion, so to speak,
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Speaker 2: of what's going on in the room.
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Speaker 3: And most of them have been peaceful.
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Speaker 2: Not all dogs are because they take a lot of
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Speaker 2: traits from their owners, and when their owners are anxious,
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Speaker 2: they're usually anxious too.
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Speaker 3: Horses to it that way.
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Speaker 2: So so maybe I want a dog that's going to
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Speaker 2: be peaceful because that would mean that in I'm being
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Speaker 2: peaceful also.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, so good traits. So when you embody an animal
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Speaker 1: in general, it's unconditional love, pure joy when they're relaxed.
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Speaker 1: They're totally adaptable. My dog injures or Paul, and she
9:08
Speaker 1: actually had to have surgery. She ran around on three
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Speaker 1: and just nothing like, nothing was wrong. Uh, the Paul
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Speaker 1: worked yesterday today it doesn't. So they're completely adaptable. And
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Speaker 1: like you said, they're strong and play well with others.
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Speaker 3: Yeah. I think they accept.
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Speaker 2: You know, we've been told the one on the face
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Speaker 2: with a stressful situation, you know, you either fix it
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Speaker 2: or make a plan, or you walk away from it,
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Speaker 2: or you accept it. And I think animals, particularly dogs,
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Speaker 2: are able to accept just about anything that comes along.
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Speaker 2: And okay, I'm going to have three legs. I can
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Speaker 2: run around with three legs, right. You know.
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Speaker 1: Now the people listening are like, well, what does this
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Speaker 1: have to do with anything? In coaching session, when somebody
9:51
Speaker 1: has to say, give a presentation or they have to
9:54
Speaker 1: have a conversation that's difficult and they feel like they're wilting.
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Speaker 1: And I asked this question, they might say, well, to
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Speaker 1: be strong, I'm a lion or I'm a bear. And
10:02
Speaker 1: I'll say, well, you can imagine there's a bear behind
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Speaker 1: you who's got your back, or you can imagine you're
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Speaker 1: embodying a bear and you see them sit upright. And
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Speaker 1: when somebody is stressed, and I'll say, well, what's peaceful
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Speaker 1: to you? And they might say, I really like to
10:16
Speaker 1: watch swans on a lake. So they might actually get
10:19
Speaker 1: a little picture of a swan or something to put
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Speaker 1: it on their computer so when they're stressed they look
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Speaker 1: at it and it's a reminder to breathe and settle.
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Speaker 1: So a really simple metaphorical tool for using animals as
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Speaker 1: how you want to show up.
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Speaker 2: So, now that doesn't sound like play as you conceive
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Speaker 2: it most people conceive of it, But it is, isn't it,
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Speaker 2: Because it's really curiosity wonder that sort of thing. So
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Speaker 2: what's the difference between those two.
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Speaker 1: Okay, so we know that play is neurologically regulating. It
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Speaker 1: helps the nervous system move towards balance, flexibility and healthy responsiveness.
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Speaker 1: And two important aspects of play are curiosity and wonder.
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Speaker 1: So curiosity is going to ask what's this? What's happening?
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Speaker 1: It analyzes and asks questions. It's the investigative side of play.
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Speaker 1: When you're a little kid saying why is the sky blue? Why? Why?
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Speaker 1: And by the time your parents get annoyed and say,
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Speaker 1: just because I said so. But that's what we're encouraging
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Speaker 1: in adults, ask why and investigate. Wonder asks what if?
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Speaker 1: What else? It's that sense of awe. It's understanding. You know,
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Speaker 1: I don't know yet, but that's okay because it invites
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Speaker 1: a question, what am I not seeing yet? So when
11:37
Speaker 1: you talk with people who have so many problems and
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Speaker 1: they can't see their way out, you know, and as
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Speaker 1: we age we can narrow our focus of the world.
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Speaker 1: Curiosity and wonder keeps us emotionally and mentally thriving. So
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Speaker 1: in the nutshell, wonder is the if. Curiosity is the how.
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Speaker 2: Ah, you know, I'll bet creative people right brain, major
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Speaker 2: thinker people. I think this is the traits that they
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Speaker 2: demonstrate frequently. I mean, to be creative, I mean you
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Speaker 2: have to have curiosity, and wonder, but even more importantly
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Speaker 2: in today's stressful world, I think it's a way to
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Speaker 2: overcome it. I mean, play isn't a luxury, is it.
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Speaker 2: It's something that we actually need, probably more than ever
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Speaker 2: in our society, step away from our racing thoughts or
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Speaker 2: the stressful environment we're in.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and people don't realize how many different ways. In fact,
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Speaker 1: on the National Institute of Play you can find out
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Speaker 1: your play style. Like for me, you mentioned some people
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Speaker 1: creative people. I enjoy writing and dancing and singing and
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Speaker 1: playing the piano. You know, my husband can get deep
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Speaker 1: into a puzzle and problem solving and coding and computer
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Speaker 1: stuff that would bore me to tears, but it's playful
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Speaker 1: for him. So honoring that people play in different ways.
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Speaker 1: There are people that come to me sometimes and they're like,
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Speaker 1: you know, I don't even know what I enjoy doing.
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Speaker 1: So we do some like reflection prompts and Roger you
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Speaker 1: have some of this in your book Live Long Dive Short.
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Speaker 1: You know what gets you out out of bed in
13:19
Speaker 1: the morning. So I ask people, you know, what fascinates you,
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Speaker 1: what have you always wanted to try? And what are
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Speaker 1: things that bring out awe on you. So it's helping
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Speaker 1: us reconnect to parts of ourselves that maybe have gone
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Speaker 1: quiet because of responsibility and routine, and it's reconnecting with
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Speaker 1: who with again. You talk about in your book our
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Speaker 1: authentic selves.
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Speaker 3: Wow.
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Speaker 2: Well, I'm learning from this and I think I'm going
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Speaker 2: to make some changes.
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Speaker 3: Play is goodness, play.
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Speaker 1: Play equals good luxury. I think we're a naturally playful person. Roger, So, yeah,
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Speaker 1: good to hear.
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Speaker 2: But it's always I think as we get older we
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Speaker 2: tend to be less so. And then in our middle lives,
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Speaker 2: when we're so busy with all a task, I think
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Speaker 2: we just think we just don't have the time for it.
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Speaker 1: In his award winning book, Livelong, Die Short. A Guide
14:23
Speaker 1: to Authentic Health and Successful Aging, doctor Roger Landry reveals
14:27
Speaker 1: what it takes for humans to be healthy and age
14:30
Speaker 1: in a better way. He presents research on aging that
14:33
Speaker 1: smashes stereotypes and affirms that how we age is determined
14:38
Speaker 1: by the lifestyle choices we make every day. He then
14:41
Speaker 1: lights the path with a simple and practical guide to
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Speaker 1: achieving health and well being based on our basic needs
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Speaker 1: as a species. Learn more at Livelongdie Short dot com.
15:03
Speaker 2: So Danielle you know, when we talk about something that
15:07
Speaker 2: gets you out of the bed, out of bed in
15:08
Speaker 2: the morning, or get out on the right side of
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Speaker 2: the bed. You know, relative to playfulness, what are some
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Speaker 2: of the actual psychological and physical benefits of play?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, So play increases creativity and cognitive flexibility, So it
15:24
Speaker 1: encourages nonlinear thinking. Most of us have very structured routine lives,
15:29
Speaker 1: so play invites experimentation and imagination. It's taking the scenic
15:33
Speaker 1: route instead of the predictable one. Sometimes when someone is
15:38
Speaker 1: stuck on a problem and I'm having a coach and
15:40
Speaker 1: call with a creative call, I'll say, well, what's the
15:43
Speaker 1: wrong answer? And we actually do a few minutes where
15:46
Speaker 1: we say what's the absolute wrong answer to this problem?
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Speaker 1: And it always opens a doorway to some different perspectives.
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Speaker 1: So it also helps us take on new perspectives because
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Speaker 1: we get trapped into certain stories that we tell ourselves,
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Speaker 1: like I always fail, I'm not good enough, people always leave,
16:05
Speaker 1: and we say it to ourselves so much that we
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Speaker 1: believe it. So play invites us to say, you know what,
16:11
Speaker 1: what if that story is false, what's a different story?
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Speaker 1: So it gives a low risk space to explore what
16:18
Speaker 1: else might be true. That's not threatening. You know, we
16:21
Speaker 1: try on ideas. I'm like, you know, if I don't
16:23
Speaker 1: like that idea, I don't have to keep it. So
16:26
Speaker 1: it supports that growth mindset and helps remove obstacles. It's
16:31
Speaker 1: also great at reducing rumination and analysis paralysis because it
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Speaker 1: increases self awareness and inner knowing. So it lowers cortisol
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Speaker 1: levels and activates the parasympathetic nervous system, so it's that
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Speaker 1: rest and digest in instead of being constantly in that
16:48
Speaker 1: amygdala fight or flight mode. And it strengthens learning and
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Speaker 1: memory because it requires active participation, you know, I you know,
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Speaker 1: if people want to watch TV at the end of
16:59
Speaker 1: the day, I like it too. But if someone's looking
17:02
Speaker 1: for something that engages their brain, it has to be active.
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Speaker 1: And play increases dopamine, which supports learning, retention, and overall being.
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Speaker 1: And it engages multiple parts of our brain at once
17:13
Speaker 1: their sensory, emotional, and cognitive systems. And the most important
17:18
Speaker 1: thing again I'm referencing Livelong, Die short. It supports relationships
17:22
Speaker 1: because it encourages connection and here's the important part, shared vulnerability.
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Speaker 1: And I give someone a goofy activity to do on
17:31
Speaker 1: a coaching session. I'm doing the activity too, so we
17:33
Speaker 1: can look silly together and it's inviting somebody else into
17:37
Speaker 1: your joy, you know. And it also makes people more optimistic,
17:41
Speaker 1: which builds resilience.
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Speaker 2: Oh well, it goes along perfectly with everything we've been
17:48
Speaker 2: saying about healthy longevity for the longest time. This is
17:51
Speaker 2: part of the holistic part, you know. I mean, how
17:54
Speaker 2: do you feel when you know it's a rhetorical question,
17:58
Speaker 2: but I mean how I how do you feel after
18:00
Speaker 2: you save engaged in a volleyball game? You know, you've
18:04
Speaker 2: connected with not only your team, but the other team also,
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Speaker 2: and and that's considered play unless you are so competitive
18:11
Speaker 2: you consider it got to win that type of thing.
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Speaker 2: But no, I think that this is this is a
18:18
Speaker 2: topic that has been in the on the sideline, so
18:21
Speaker 2: to speak, and I'm so happy that you're you're bringing
18:24
Speaker 2: it forward. You know, we've we've talked before about adult
18:30
Speaker 2: playgrounds that you find in some countries in hours, but
18:33
Speaker 2: in Denmark, I guess it's very very plentiful and so
18:38
Speaker 2: so does that help us in older adulthood?
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Speaker 3: Is it?
18:41
Speaker 2: Is it that laughter or play is the best medicine
18:45
Speaker 2: after all?
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Speaker 1: I think? So, you know, you talk a lot about
18:50
Speaker 1: intergenerational connections, and I love the adult playgrounds. In fact,
18:54
Speaker 1: today I mentioned I'd gone in for a routine doctor's appointment,
18:58
Speaker 1: and outside there's this river wall and when you walk
19:01
Speaker 1: along the water, on one side you have a workout station,
19:05
Speaker 1: and the next it's like outdoor musical instruments, and the
19:09
Speaker 1: next there's like a skate park, and the next there's
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Speaker 1: the outdoor where you play where you sing into one
19:15
Speaker 1: thing and you hear it out the other. And you'll
19:17
Speaker 1: see people biking, skating, walking, playing with their dogs, like
19:21
Speaker 1: all intergenerational connection. So they're out of nature, they're socializing,
19:25
Speaker 1: they're moving, and they're connecting. So I think it's a
19:29
Speaker 1: beautiful thing.
19:50
Speaker 4: Doctor Roger Landry's award winning book Livelong, Die Short continues
19:55
Speaker 4: to be a major reference for healthy longevity. Those interested
19:59
Speaker 4: in reading more of it writing might consider his recent
20:02
Speaker 4: novel Living in Overtime. A story of loss, life, and love,
20:07
Speaker 4: it challenges the reader to reconsider stereotypes and be open
20:12
Speaker 4: to new ways of viewing life's gifts and losses. It's
20:16
Speaker 4: a charming but gut wrenching story of the power of
20:19
Speaker 4: and our essential need for authentic and mindful human connection.
20:25
Speaker 4: Living in Overtime is available in print and as an
20:27
Speaker 4: ebook on Amazon or at your favorite bookseller. Children model
20:52
Speaker 4: presence and curiosity and imagination and an open and emotional openness,
20:58
Speaker 4: and so you know, when you spend time with kids,
21:01
Speaker 4: you can kind of loosen the grip on being serious.
21:06
Speaker 4: You know.
21:06
Speaker 1: In past episodes, we've talked about the power positivity and
21:10
Speaker 1: gratitude and seeking glimmers, and I will absolutely put them
21:13
Speaker 1: in the links to this episode. We've also talked about
21:17
Speaker 1: relationships and bids for connection. So there are playful exercises
21:22
Speaker 1: that bring people together and every micro moment of connection
21:26
Speaker 1: builds our well being. So I can give a really
21:30
Speaker 1: tiny minor one and it's about building a micro moment
21:33
Speaker 1: of connection. So are you game?
21:35
Speaker 3: Okay?
21:36
Speaker 1: So the playful practice is micro moments of connection. They're
21:41
Speaker 1: small interactions and this could be smiling at someone, sharing
21:44
Speaker 1: a laugh, sending a funny text, These tiny moments that build.
21:50
Speaker 1: So one way we can do this intentionally is by
21:54
Speaker 1: having a heart centered moment. So here's how it works.
21:56
Speaker 1: And if you're listening out there, I invite you to
21:58
Speaker 1: stop for like one minute do this exercise. So I'll
22:01
Speaker 1: ask you, Roger, to close your eyes, and I'm going
22:05
Speaker 1: to do the same thing, and I'm going to call
22:07
Speaker 1: to mind somebody that I really have love and respect for.
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Speaker 1: So just pick one person, and I want you to
22:16
Speaker 1: imagine out there, whoever the person is that you chose,
22:19
Speaker 1: and they can be alive or they could have been
22:21
Speaker 1: somebody who's passed, and you imagine that they're in front
22:24
Speaker 1: of you. And as you breathe in and out, I
22:30
Speaker 1: want you to imagine you're breathing in and out through
22:32
Speaker 1: your heart space, and as you breathe in, you imagine
22:41
Speaker 1: that that person is sending love to you. You allow
22:45
Speaker 1: it to flow through you, and as you exhale, you
22:49
Speaker 1: send it back to them, and imagine you're actually sending
22:51
Speaker 1: them love and connection. As you breathe in, you're receiving
22:57
Speaker 1: that feeling of love through the heart space. As you
23:00
Speaker 1: breathe out, you're sending it to the other person in
23:03
Speaker 1: kind of this momentary closed circuit. I'm going to be
23:07
Speaker 1: quiet for ten whole seconds. Okay, Roger, how'd that go
23:20
Speaker 1: for you?
23:22
Speaker 3: Very nice?
23:23
Speaker 2: That was my father came to light. Oh he's passed,
23:28
Speaker 2: but oh it was very nice. You know, that's sort
23:33
Speaker 2: of the things we do in meditation, isn't it.
23:36
Speaker 1: Absolutely Yeah. There's a whole lengthy research by Barbara Frederickson
23:42
Speaker 1: and others about meta meditations where you're sending out to people,
23:46
Speaker 1: May you be happy, may you be healthy, may you
23:48
Speaker 1: live with ease. You send it to yourself, and you
23:50
Speaker 1: send it to people who are difficult, And the idea
23:53
Speaker 1: is not to it's not magical thinking though if some
23:56
Speaker 1: people believe that energy affects those around them, but it
24:00
Speaker 1: gives you a sense of peace and calm, and it's
24:03
Speaker 1: learning forgiveness that sometimes, so I can I think those
24:08
Speaker 1: little micro moments can be really really powerful.
24:11
Speaker 2: Oh very much so. And once again, people may not
24:15
Speaker 2: label it as play, but it is in the way
24:20
Speaker 2: that we feel we don't have the time to meditate.
24:24
Speaker 2: We don't have the time to play, you know, where
24:27
Speaker 2: we're too busy, there's too many things to do, we
24:30
Speaker 2: can't do it. And yet probably when we're that busy
24:33
Speaker 2: and that stress, we need it more than ever. And
24:36
Speaker 2: as you said, it can be microseconds.
24:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it adds up.
24:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sure does. Well, you get another exercise for me?
24:45
Speaker 1: I understand that I've got one more.
24:47
Speaker 3: Okay, here I go the guve me pig, so.
24:50
Speaker 1: This one yeap. Normally when somebody does this, I don't
24:54
Speaker 1: have them share what they're seeing. So in our play,
24:57
Speaker 1: I have no idea what's going to happen. But Roger,
24:59
Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you to share what you're seeing.
25:02
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna I will ask you to close your
25:04
Speaker 1: eyes and give us feedback so that the listeners can
25:07
Speaker 1: hear what's actually going through your mind. So let me
25:10
Speaker 1: know when you're ready. Okay, So I want you to
25:15
Speaker 1: gently settle in and imagine that there's this bubble around
25:20
Speaker 1: you and allow all the outside world to kind of
25:25
Speaker 1: fade into the background for a moment. And this bubble
25:30
Speaker 1: is going to lift you up and carry you into
25:34
Speaker 1: the future to about we'll say, one hundred and fifty
25:38
Speaker 1: years old, where you're healthy and thriving. Yeah, And when
25:44
Speaker 1: it sets you down, you notice there's this beautiful building
25:49
Speaker 1: in front of you and you're about to walk in.
25:53
Speaker 1: Can you imagine it could be real or imagined, But
25:58
Speaker 1: can you get an idea of a building in front
26:00
Speaker 1: of you? I can, can you describe what it looks like?
26:08
Speaker 3: It is? It is in.
26:12
Speaker 2: One that I've seen in the old towns, of Europe.
26:19
Speaker 2: So a couple centuries old, maybe even more, stone made
26:27
Speaker 2: with love because when they built this, they didn't have
26:30
Speaker 2: all the machinery and everything that we have today. So
26:34
Speaker 2: that it is so it is. It is a sense
26:39
Speaker 2: of strength. It's it's decorated very well, but not overly done.
26:49
Speaker 2: It is it's a building that makes me want to
26:52
Speaker 2: go inside to see what's in there.
26:55
Speaker 1: Okay, So you as one hundred and fifty years old,
26:58
Speaker 1: healthy and wise, and in this beautiful building. You are
27:03
Speaker 1: going inside and you realize that somewhere in this building
27:08
Speaker 1: at the end of the hallway, people are going to
27:10
Speaker 1: be there talking about your life. So I want you
27:14
Speaker 1: to just imagine, with your eyes closed, you're entering this
27:17
Speaker 1: building and walking down a long hallway and maybe it
27:21
Speaker 1: doesn't have one, but we're going to invent one for today.
27:24
Speaker 1: And as you walk down the hallway, you kind of
27:26
Speaker 1: hear people in a room in the distance. Can you
27:32
Speaker 1: get a sense of people? Is it a lot of
27:34
Speaker 1: people or is it a few people?
27:36
Speaker 3: It is a crowd of say thirty crowd.
27:41
Speaker 1: Of about thirty people. Hey, if you were to tune
27:45
Speaker 1: in and walk closer, and as you're about to open
27:48
Speaker 1: the door. Can you hear some of what they're saying?
27:51
Speaker 1: What impact did you have? What might they be saying
27:53
Speaker 1: about you?
27:57
Speaker 3: So they're talking about the one hundred and fifty year
27:59
Speaker 3: old me, right, but.
28:02
Speaker 1: They're talking about your legacy and what you're left behind.
28:06
Speaker 1: And what if they're giving you an award, they're honoring
28:08
Speaker 1: you for your life's legacy or the impact. What would
28:12
Speaker 1: they be giving you an award for?
28:15
Speaker 3: Well, I'd like to hear basically it was a good
28:18
Speaker 3: person treated everyone with respect. He had a strong sense
28:24
Speaker 3: of that.
28:25
Speaker 1: It's not past tense. It's not past tense. You're still alive.
28:28
Speaker 1: You're there, they're honoring you. It is not your eulogy.
28:33
Speaker 2: He has a very strong sense of the greater good.
28:38
Speaker 2: It motivates him.
28:40
Speaker 1: Okay, So your legacy is passing on the greater good okay.
28:45
Speaker 2: And golden rule type of behavior. Do unto others as
28:52
Speaker 2: you'd have them do unto you. That would be enough.
28:56
Speaker 1: Okay. So what kind of award are they giving you?
28:58
Speaker 1: Can you see what it might look like?
29:04
Speaker 3: They're giving me a ticket to travel.
29:06
Speaker 1: So they're giving you a ticket to travel the world, okay,
29:09
Speaker 1: And they're honoring you for teaching. Is it teaching people
29:13
Speaker 1: how to live a good life or just exemplifying what
29:16
Speaker 1: it means to live a good life.
29:19
Speaker 2: A combination, but mostly the latter exemplifying.
29:22
Speaker 1: Okay, and where might you go on that trip? Do
29:25
Speaker 1: you know? With the ticket to travel?
29:29
Speaker 3: Oh?
29:31
Speaker 2: You know, I've been to so many places, so I'm
29:34
Speaker 2: going again.
29:37
Speaker 3: Let's make it Stockholm.
29:39
Speaker 1: Okay, So we'll kind of go gently back in time.
29:44
Speaker 1: So now we're in the present moment. And so the
29:47
Speaker 1: idea for you, what you'd like to be, you know,
29:50
Speaker 1: remembered for, is that you exemplified a good life and
29:55
Speaker 1: that everyone looks at your life and wants to model
29:58
Speaker 1: the kind of person that you are in some way.
30:04
Speaker 3: Couldn't ask for more than that.
30:05
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think that's beautiful. And all these things.
30:12
Speaker 1: I'm seeing a side of you, doctor Roger that I
30:14
Speaker 1: haven't seen before, because you know, the dog and the
30:16
Speaker 1: horse about you know, trusting. The horse is strong but
30:20
Speaker 1: uses his power for good. The dog is unconditionally loving.
30:24
Speaker 1: And you want to be known for being you know,
30:26
Speaker 1: a good person and living a good life. So you're
30:29
Speaker 1: a good guy, doctor Roger.
30:31
Speaker 3: Yeah. And how long have we known each other?
30:32
Speaker 2: Dad?
30:33
Speaker 1: Now, I mean, I know you're a good guy, but
30:34
Speaker 1: this is quite fascinating. And when I do this exercise
30:38
Speaker 1: with different people, sometimes there's an aha moment, like they
30:42
Speaker 1: were receiving an award for maybe helping children in some way,
30:47
Speaker 1: and they're like, oh, you know, I kind of I've
30:49
Speaker 1: always wanted to maybe either be a teacher, I've always
30:52
Speaker 1: wanted to work for a nonprofit in this way. So
30:55
Speaker 1: they have little AHAs when when you think of you know,
30:57
Speaker 1: because sometimes people are surprised, like, oh, I'm getting a
31:00
Speaker 1: word for that. I didn't even think about it.
31:03
Speaker 3: So this would come under the term of playfulness.
31:07
Speaker 1: Playfulness with curiosity and wonder like what what if? What
31:11
Speaker 1: might happen? It's playing with ideas.
31:15
Speaker 2: So that to me expands the definition of playfulness significantly.
31:19
Speaker 3: So that.
31:21
Speaker 2: Who would say I don't want to be curious or
31:24
Speaker 2: I don't want to occasionally wonder or deal with wonder.
31:30
Speaker 2: I think they're less likely to say that today than
31:33
Speaker 2: I mean, more likely to say they would be interested
31:35
Speaker 2: in that than playing. But it's just just a matter
31:40
Speaker 2: of preconceived notions of what playing is and you've changed
31:44
Speaker 2: that today, Danielle.
31:46
Speaker 1: Well, exactly, And this isn't a you know, and I
31:48
Speaker 1: talk a lot from a coaching perspective, but sometimes I
31:51
Speaker 1: prescribe people. I said, what do you enjoy doing? They're
31:53
Speaker 1: like writing music and playing the guitar, and I was like,
31:55
Speaker 1: well do that. I'm you know, Roger, I know you've
31:57
Speaker 1: given people a prescription to go out in nature. So
32:00
Speaker 1: if you had a play prescription, it's what does it
32:02
Speaker 1: mean to you? For somebody else, it's cooking, it's baking.
32:06
Speaker 1: It might be sports or some high impact activity, or
32:10
Speaker 1: some marathon that I know I'm not going to run,
32:13
Speaker 1: but I fully support somebody else who wants to do it.
32:17
Speaker 3: Danielle, you talk about starting a playbank.
32:20
Speaker 1: What is that so a playbank? I love to create
32:24
Speaker 1: banks for everything, the emotional bank account, the micro moments
32:27
Speaker 1: of love bank account. A playbank is when you start
32:31
Speaker 1: kind of noticing and collecting these moments. They don't have
32:34
Speaker 1: to be long, but little at a time. So it
32:37
Speaker 1: could be really simple, like Okay, you've got a whole
32:40
Speaker 1: bunch of zoom calls, but maybe you're twirling in your
32:42
Speaker 1: chair between them, or you're like me, you're standing up
32:45
Speaker 1: and doing a yoga pose, balancing and then sitting back
32:49
Speaker 1: down for the next call. And when you do these
32:51
Speaker 1: little things, notice how you feel before you play and after.
32:57
Speaker 1: So if you think you know, I'm feeling a little stressed,
32:59
Speaker 1: I'm going to step out so it's raining, I'm going
33:01
Speaker 1: to jump in that puddle, you know, Or I'm going
33:04
Speaker 1: to throw the ball for my dog for three minutes
33:06
Speaker 1: before I go back to work. Notice how you feel
33:08
Speaker 1: when you're before you're playing and then afterwards. And I think, well,
33:15
Speaker 1: if I could share a couple more takeaways with the playbank.
33:18
Speaker 1: All over the Playbank, the micro moments of connection are
33:22
Speaker 1: really really good. One that I love is it inspires
33:28
Speaker 1: all I say to somebody, Can you take a do
33:31
Speaker 1: whatever you want day? Now? Some people can. They said,
33:34
Speaker 1: you know I've got this Sunday, I've taken off her work.
33:36
Speaker 1: I said, well, I don't. Anytime you find yourself saying
33:40
Speaker 1: I should do this, I should do laundry, I should
33:42
Speaker 1: do say I don't want to do that? What do
33:45
Speaker 1: I want to do? And do that? And sometimes people
33:48
Speaker 1: don't have that kind of time. They might have a
33:50
Speaker 1: few hours, and so you ask yourself, what do I
33:53
Speaker 1: want to do? Do I want to do that? No, Well,
33:56
Speaker 1: what do I want to do? Maybe? Oh, maybe it's
33:59
Speaker 1: I want to break got charcoal pencils and draw. Yeah,
34:02
Speaker 1: I'm going to do that. And it's weird when you
34:04
Speaker 1: free up someone's time and say your assignment is to
34:10
Speaker 1: do whatever you want for this time. So the minute
34:13
Speaker 1: you hear should no.
34:17
Speaker 3: Wow. Well it seems to me that I've learned a lot.
34:23
Speaker 2: It seems to me that at a time when there's
34:25
Speaker 2: so much stress, rank or and negativity and criticism and
34:30
Speaker 2: division in the world, that this whole idea of playfulness
34:35
Speaker 2: and the whole concept of curiosity and wonder and doing
34:41
Speaker 2: something that previously we would have said is nonproductive.
34:44
Speaker 3: But in fact is more than productive.
34:46
Speaker 2: It's a source of To me, it's like a source
34:50
Speaker 2: of connecting with our better angels and with our own humanity,
34:55
Speaker 2: and certainly is something that's going to make us age
34:59
Speaker 2: in a better way and have a better quality of life. Hi,
35:02
Speaker 2: thank you for that, Danielle. You've you've really this is
35:07
Speaker 2: this has been quite a trip.
35:09
Speaker 1: Well, thank you for letting me come in and play.
35:13
Speaker 1: And just some closing things I think people can ask themselves,
35:16
Speaker 1: you know, what brings you alive, what makes you feel lighter?
35:21
Speaker 1: What are small playful moments you can try so that
35:24
Speaker 1: even when there's difficulty in our lives and we all
35:28
Speaker 1: go through some pretty heavy stuff, that there's room for joy, curiosity,
35:33
Speaker 1: wonder and connection.
35:36
Speaker 3: Can't do better than that.
35:38
Speaker 2: Thank you, Danielle, and thank you for all the new
35:42
Speaker 2: ideas you bring to the table, and particularly for what
35:45
Speaker 2: you did for all of us today.
35:48
Speaker 1: Thanks Doctor Roger. You've been listening to the bright Side
36:06
Speaker 1: of Longevity with host and preventive medicine physician and award
36:10
Speaker 1: winning author, doctor Roger Landry and co host nationally board
36:14
Speaker 1: certified positive psychology and mindfulness coach Danielle Payee. If you
36:19
Speaker 1: like the show, please rate and review and be sure
36:22
Speaker 1: to click to follow