Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Jack Smith Triumphed At Senate + More "Leaked" Audio of Melania and Donald Trump

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Jack Smith Triumphed At Senate + More "Leaked" Audio of Melania and Donald Trump · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  Jack Smith testified that President Trump engaged
• 0:02
  in serious crimes against the United States.
• 0:04
  Predictably, a GOP senator tried to derail Smith,
• 0:07
  but instead derailed himself asking questions
• 0:09
  about the Easter Bunny. Today in Breaking Absurdity,
• 0:15
  we've got leaked audio of Melania and Donald
• 0:17
  Trump. Well, kind of. If that's what you want,
• 0:21
  you have to pay more. A new 24 -7 station featuring
• 0:25
  all Melania all the time. And Trump preparing
• 0:27
  to grow up a golf player. Leading off today is
• 0:30
  a Senate Judiciary hearing featuring former special
• 0:33
  counsel Jack Smith who made a pretty serious
• 0:35
  statement and you'll hear he didn't mince words.
• 0:38
  Here's Jack at the Senate today. Our investigation
• 0:43
  developed proof beyond a reasonable doubt that
• 0:46
  President Trump engaged in serious crimes against
• 0:49
  our nation. If asked whether to prosecute a former
• 0:53
  president today based on the same facts, I would
• 0:58
  do so regardless of whether that president was
• 1:00
  a Republican or a Democrat. Rather than accept
• 1:05
  his defeat in the 2020 presidential election,
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  President Trump engaged in a criminal scheme
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  to overturn the results and prevent the lawful
• 1:15
  transfer of power. Wow, that's a powerful statement.
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  Jack is coming in hot today, as we come to expect.
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  Now, let's see what questions the Republicans
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  have for him. Eric Schmidt had some probing questions
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  about a basketball game. Here's that clip now.
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  Did you go to an NBA game between the Golden
• 1:33
  State Warriors and the Atlanta Hawks on February
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  3rd, 2024? Seems relevant how? I'm sorry, could
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  you say that again? Did you go to an NBA game
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  between the Golden State Warriors and the Atlanta
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  Hawks on February 3rd, 2024? What city would
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  that be in? Atlanta. No. Okay. Did you ever meet
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  Nathan Wade or Fannie Willis in your time in
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  special counsel? No. I don't think you know that
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  we have this stuff. You just took it down really
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  quick. If I could look at that again. Okay. Mr.
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  Chairman, can we give the witness a copy so he
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  can see what's being read to him? Well, I think
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  you've already sufficiently answered. I want
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  to run through. We'll put it in a follow -up.
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  You can respond. I think you've already perjured
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  yourself. So they briefly flashed up evidence
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  that they wouldn't even give Jack Smith a chance
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  to process. And when they were asked to present
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  the evidence so he could read it through, they
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  refused. And I'm pretty sure by Jack's reaction
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  that he thinks this is just GOP smoke and mirrors.
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  You can check that out if that's what we're talking
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  about. And Schmidt didn't stop there. He decided
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  to make things personal and actually start hurling
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  insults at Jack Smith. You will go down as a
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  total dirtbag. That's right. The Senate GOP has
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  resorted to name calling instead of providing
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  actual evidence. But don't worry because Amy
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  Klobuchar comes in and saves the day with some
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  sound reasoning. Could it then be that University
• 3:23
  of Iowa's the Hawkeyes? Could that be it? And
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  maybe before we show this kind of thing? I know.
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  But if he was at an Iowa game, that might be
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  the confusion over the names of the team. But
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  perhaps you should have looked at it more carefully.
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  Wow. Amy Klobuchar just shut the whole thing
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  down. She figured out that Schmidt was actually
• 3:44
  mixing up the Atlanta Hawks with the Iowa Hawkeyes.
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  So Jack wasn't committing perjury. He was just
• 3:51
  trying to understand a very confusing question.
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  and Klobuchar handled that in only the way Klobuchar
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  can, she managed to eviscerate Schmidt without
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  even needing to raise her voice. But we can't
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  say that for Schmidt, sadly. that could have
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  obviously been related to the prosecution that
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  was coordinated with his office in Atlanta. Well,
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  I'm going to begin my questions now, but I think
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  that people should have their back straight before
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  they accuse someone of being a dirt bag and not
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  get the team wrong. I stand by that statement.
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  Thank you, Amy, for expertly taming the circus
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  today. You will definitely not go down in history
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  as a dirt bag. But the circus wasn't over yet
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  because Senator Kennedy was next and you might
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  remember his famous questions last week to Cash
• 4:39
  Patel about a very important topic. What about
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  the bestiality? So when Senator Kennedy takes
• 4:46
  the floor, we always have to brace ourselves
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  for what comes next. Okay, here we go. Do you
• 4:52
  believe in the tooth fairy? I do not. Good answer.
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  How about the Easter Bunny? Hmm. I no longer
• 5:01
  believe in the Easter Bunny. Do you think Jimmy
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  Hoffa died of natural causes? I do not. Well
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  played, Mr. Smith. The Easter Bunny, the Tooth
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  Fairy, and Jimmy Hoffa. If Jack Smith came to
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  the hearing expecting difficult questions, I'm
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  sure he's leaving with a completely different
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  understanding of what the Senate wanted to know.
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  And thankfully, we can finally put the Jimmy
• 5:22
  Hoffa investigation to rest. For now, anyway.
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  I just hope that Senator Kennedy doesn't ever
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  have to question Cash Patel about the Easter
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  Bunny. We are not into bestiality. Whatever you
• 5:34
  say, Cash. Ads help keep the lights on here at
• 5:37
  It's Not Satire. But if ads give you the ick,
• 5:40
  let me help you with that. If you want all the
• 5:42
  absurdity without the ads, subscribe to my sub
• 5:44
  stack and look for the ad free podcast option.
• 5:46
  The link is in the show notes. Now let's get
• 5:48
  into the absurdity. So we wanted to follow up
• 5:51
  on last week's clandestine car conversation between
• 5:54
  Melania and Donald Trump. As you can see, the
• 5:57
  cameras caught them having a conversation, but
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  we didn't have any audio. Until now, that is.
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  Well, we kind of have audio. We had audio that
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  we made up. Here, take a listen to the clip now.
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  Now believe it or not, that clip actually got
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  several million views on Facebook. And to be
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  fair, that clip got quite a bit of criticism.
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  A lot of people said this is so bad, this is
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  clearly AI. But a lot of other people said, I
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  know this is AI and I think this is what they're
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  really talking about. So what do you think? Let
• 6:57
  me know in the comments if you think this is
• 6:59
  funny or just AI slop. And I decided that clips
• 7:02
  like this have become so popular, why not put
• 7:05
  together a 24 -7 TV station? Because Trump tried
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  this last week and it was a complete failure.
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  In fact, the views were so low and the footage
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  was so boring, it got shut down within a day.
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  But before it got shut down, I launched my own
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  trailer, and one that was probably a little bit
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  more accurate than what the White House said.
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  And those of you who are just listening to the
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  podcast right now, what we're looking at is various
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  clips of Trump falling asleep in the office,
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  in settings where other people are talking and
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  he's struggling to stay awake, and the Trump
• 7:42
  TV branding on the screen slowly changes to...
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  Insomnia cure. You don't need Ambien. Just Trump
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  TV. Sleep tight. Good night. But going back to
• 8:01
  my TV station idea, after Trump TV failed miserably,
• 8:05
  I didn't want to try that again. I thought I'd
• 8:07
  try something a little different. I'm talking
• 8:09
  about Melaniavision. It's a 24 -7 station that
• 8:12
  I created. It's all Melania all the time. and
• 8:16
  it might also be a cure for your insomnia, but
• 8:18
  perhaps this one will stay on line a little bit
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  longer. What you're looking at right now is the
• 8:23
  very first video that ever played on MelaniaTV.
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  It's kind of like an old fashioned station intro
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  from the 50s, except this one's a bit ironic.
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  See, you've got Melania dancing with Trump, then
• 8:35
  you've got Melania dancing with a Marine. See
• 8:37
  how she's actually smiling now? Then we've got
• 8:40
  Melania and Donald Trump dancing to the YMCA
• 8:43
  on the White House balcony. Totally normal activities.
• 8:47
  Then we've got Melania in the car wash dress.
• 8:49
  Almost nobody's ever seen this footage. And the
• 8:52
  presidential couple was hoping you wouldn't notice
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  this hand -hold and hand -release that the camera's
• 8:57
  awkwardly caught. Concluding with Melania's smile
• 8:59
  turning to a frown. And it just kind of continues
• 9:02
  from there. We've got Melania ironic slideshows,
• 9:06
  Melania trivia, and plenty of Melania shorts
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  and compilations of all the videos I've been
• 9:11
  working on for the past four months. Melania
• 9:14
  Vision is linked here below and at the end of
• 9:16
  this video, so please take a look at it and leave
• 9:18
  a comment and let me know you found it. Just
• 9:21
  in case it stays on the air about as long as
• 9:23
  Trump TV. And take a look at one of the station
• 9:25
  IDs I created. I actually think it's kind of
• 9:28
  cute. Here I am. And Trump was in the news for
• 9:38
  other reasons recently. He attended the president's
• 9:41
  cup and attempted to grab the cup of someone
• 9:44
  else. Let's watch that again. Trump goes in for
• 9:49
  a stomach pat and aims a bit too low and quickly
• 9:52
  tries to correct, but it's too late before the
• 9:55
  cameras caught that moment. Say cheese. I feel
• 9:59
  for that guy who just got groped by the president.
• 10:01
  But remember, President Trump has absolutely
• 10:04
  no interest whatsoever in young, handsome men.
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  And here's proof of that. Young, handsome guy.
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  It's always nice to be young and handsome. Doesn't
• 10:14
  mean we have to like you. I don't like young,
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  handsome men. Women? Men are hard to have any
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  interest. Good. That's right. That's right. Thank
• 10:27
  you very much. You're doing a great job, too.
• 10:29
  Okay, President Trump. Sure, I believe you. Well,
• 10:33
  just tell that to the man's cup that you just
• 10:35
  tried to grab. Thanks for watching Breaking Absurdity.
• 10:38
  And remember, don't stare into the abyss alone.
• 10:40
  Let's do it together. Like, subscribe, and leave
• 10:43
  a comment below. Let me know what you thought
• 10:45
  about this episode. I want to hear from you.