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150. Defeating Automatic Negative Thoughts · Your Enriched Self

• 0:05
  Hey, friends, I cannot keep calm. We are an episode one hundred
• 0:10
  and fifty. I am so glad you're here. Welcome to them. You're
• 0:14
  on Rich Health podcast. I am your host, Smilen Noir. I am
• 0:19
  an emotional wellness and empowerment coach and here on the Your enrichedl podcast we talk
• 0:25
  about mindset fusion topics. And if you are new to this podcast, I
• 0:29
  want to welcome you. I want to welcome you. I'm glad you made
• 0:32
  it, you are here at this celebration point. And if you are a
• 0:37
  repeat listener, if you have been with me on this journey of podcasting,
• 0:42
  of pouring, of speaking, of communicating, of dialoguing with you, I
• 0:48
  want to thank you, thank you, thank you for On the bottom of
• 0:50
  my heart, I cannot keep calm. I cannot keep calm. We have
• 0:54
  made it two hundred and fifty episodes, and it's all because of you.
• 0:58
  It's all because of your participate patient, your communication and your feedback. Feedback
• 1:03
  is a gift and we love it here on the Urine Retail Podcast. Now,
• 1:08
  so much to say before we get into this week's episode, but we
• 1:12
  are celebrating a milestone and this is something that is so important to me,
• 1:19
  not just this milestone, but any milestone. It's so important to look back
• 1:25
  on where you've been and where you are now. And I encourage you.
• 1:27
  I don't know what journey you're on, but make time, take time,
• 1:33
  be intentional about celebrating your milestones. We are doing something different for this podcast.
• 1:40
  I'm doing something I've never done before, doing a lot of first so
• 1:42
  it's kind of scary when you step into a space where you've never been or
• 1:47
  done before. And so for this podcast, we're first of all doing a
• 1:51
  live episode. The live episode is going to be on Saturday, so hold
• 1:56
  on. We got something in store for today's podcast. But we are doing
• 2:00
  a live episode right on YouTube. So the link is going to be in
• 2:07
  the show notes, so check that out. And it's a celebration day,
• 2:12
  Saturday, June fifteenth, at two pm Eastern Standard time. Join me on
• 2:19
  YouTube. The next first for the Urine Resul podcast is that we have a
• 2:24
  guest. I have brought a special guest to the podcast. Her name is
• 2:30
  doctor Sarah Mack. You are going to absolutely fall in love with her.
• 2:36
  She has an amazing story about her journey on persistence. I mean we're talking
• 2:43
  about the power of persistence and to do something one hundred and fifty times,
• 2:46
  to do this over the last three years. I mean, that is absolutely
• 2:52
  a journey of persistence. And I'm sure you have journeys of persistence in your
• 2:57
  lifetime, in your lifehood. So we're gonna be talking about and I want
• 3:00
  to get into the details of that. I want to encourage you to tell
• 3:06
  a friend, to tell a friend to join us on Saturday for this monumental
• 3:12
  celebratory experience. We are going to explore, We're gonna laugh, we're gonna
• 3:15
  grow, because that's what this podcast is all about. It's not just about
• 3:20
  entertaining you, but it's also about transforming you, and we're gonna have transformative
• 3:24
  conversations about being persistent. Let's just take a moment again to celebrate the podcast
• 3:32
  one hundred and fifty episodes. I could not have done it without all the
• 3:38
  participants here, even those of you who are joining. I mean, listen,
• 3:40
  I celebrate first, and if this is your first time, we're gonna
• 3:44
  celebrate that too. On Saturday, June fifteenth, I want you to go
• 3:50
  to YouTube at two pm and I want you to join us for our very
• 3:55
  first live you get to see me, you get to hear me, You
• 4:01
  get to see and hear all the things that we're gonna be talking about.
• 4:04
  And we have a special guests. Again, these are first for the podcast.
• 4:10
  Super excited, ready to celebrate this milestone with each and every one of
• 4:15
  you. So get ready to tune in, tap in, and turn up
• 4:19
  your volume because we're gonna have a good time on Saturday. I will see
• 4:25
  you on Saturday. Nah. Before we get into this week's episode, if
• 4:31
  you know you know, one of the things I do each and every week
• 4:35
  is I make a deposit in the bank of you, and I do that
• 4:40
  by way of affirmations. Affirmations are a great way to start your day and
• 4:47
  to command your morning. And this week's affirmation is I am awake, I
• 4:58
  am alive and ready to thrive Life. I am awake. I am alive
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  and ready to thrive. I am awake, I am alive and ready to
• 5:10
  thrive. Now let's get ready for this week's episode of the Your Enriched Self
• 5:16
  podcast. If you are a listener of this podcast, you know that every
• 5:26
  action starts with a thought, and so that's what the premise of this podcast
• 5:30
  has always been about and will probably continue to be about your thoughts are powerful
• 5:35
  and so this week, because we are doing a live episode on Saturday,
• 5:40
  I thought I would give you a throwback. So on this Thursday, We're
• 5:43
  gonna do a throwback to one of my favorite episodes. It's called Killing Ants,
• 5:49
  and Killing Ants is a throwback if there ever was, because it was
• 5:54
  episode twenty one when we launched Killing Ants, and it's it's such a powerful
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  episode about our thoughts and the importance of us managing those thoughts. So I'm
• 6:09
  unlocking the vault. I'm bringing back episode twenty one Killing Ants. I hope
• 6:14
  you enjoy, and again I hope to see you on Saturday live on YouTube.
• 6:19
  All the details will be in the show notes. I know what the
• 6:28
  changes in the weather, we're not thinking about having any outdoor events this time
• 6:31
  of year. But I want you to recall with me a time when you
• 6:34
  went to an outdoor event, maybe a barbecue or a picnic. Everybody's having
• 6:40
  a good time, and then somebody turns around and says, oh my gosh,
• 6:43
  there's ants all over your food. And the great delectables that you brought
• 6:49
  to the picnic that were brought to the barbecue are no longer something you can
• 6:54
  eat and enjoy. It kind of happens all of a sudden. You know,
• 6:57
  one minute, you're enjoying the day, you're enjoying life, and all
• 7:00
  of a sudden, you have this infestation of ants. That infestation sometimes comes
• 7:04
  in as negative thoughts. And so today I want to talk to you about
• 7:10
  killing ants automatic negative thoughts, and that's how they come in, just like
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  those ants at the picnic that come out of nowhere. You could be enjoying
• 7:18
  life and living your best and then all of a sudden, you have this
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  moment where these thoughts just crowd your mind. Now, according to the National
• 7:27
  Science Foundation, we have approximately twelve thousand to fifteen thousand thoughts a day.
• 7:32
  But here's a startling thing. Eighty percent of our thoughts are negative. It
• 7:36
  really fascinates me that we are walking around with an unhealthy ratio of thinking.
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  Our thoughts are oftentimes the thing that again guides our actions. We talk about
• 7:47
  that every week on the podcast. So if your thoughts are eighty percent negative,
• 7:53
  what are your actions looking like? So I was doing a study about
• 7:59
  this theory, and there's a doctor by the name of Daniel g. Amen,
• 8:05
  and he wrote a book called change your brain, change your life.
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  He says, if you get your brain right, your mind will follow.
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  And so for him, he puts how your brain basically sources negative information into
• 8:18
  four cornerstones. The first one, and I think we've all been there,
• 8:24
  is regrets of the past, and I've talked about this before, where we
• 8:28
  just get into the woods the should have, could have? Would have?
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  Why didn't I should have? I could have? I would have? And
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  so we have these regrets that kind of hold us down. That's weight number
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  one. The second one is failure or fear of failure. This is all
• 8:43
  the what ifs. Well, what if I go out there and I look
• 8:46
  like a fool. What if I go out there and they laugh at me?
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  What if? What if? What if? And we never exercise the
• 8:50
  what is? What is that I have now? Right? So again those
• 8:54
  negative thoughts just crowd in and we focus on all the what ifs, the
• 8:58
  what ifs of failing. The next one, and this is one that I
• 9:01
  think everyone suffers with because all we all have different cohorts of friends and family,
• 9:07
  and when you look around the culture, it seems like certain things are
• 9:11
  celebrated, and if you don't have that certain thing, and you can't compare
• 9:16
  yourself to that certain person or certain group of persons, then you have this
• 9:20
  unhealthy comparison. And that's another weight, right, because you're so focused on
• 9:24
  everybody else's glory and everything else that everybody's doing, that you're not even looking
• 9:30
  at your uniquely designed path. There is a group of people that you were
• 9:35
  designed to serve. You have a unique story that only you can tell to
• 9:39
  that group of people. But again, the unhealthy comparison is another weight,
• 9:43
  another one of those cornerstones that weigh us down with these negative thoughts. And
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  then the final cornerstone is blame. With this one, it's a little bit
• 9:50
  of both, right, it's a mix of blaming other people. You know,
• 9:54
  sometimes as we go through life, there are people involved on our path,
• 9:58
  and I think sometimes it's easy to become a victim of your story.
• 10:01
  And I'm challenging you today, I'm reminding you of what these things are,
• 10:05
  but challenging you today to not be a victim of your story. It's your
• 10:09
  story, you get to craft it how you want. But when we have
• 10:11
  this cornerstone of blame, we tend to find people in the storyline or in
• 10:16
  the story on the storyboard that we can put and cast blame upon. But
• 10:20
  guess what, that doesn't do anything to help your story elevate to the next
• 10:26
  level, because that's what you want to do. So blaming someone is absolutely
• 10:30
  not the way to do it. The other part of blame is blaming yourself.
• 10:33
  If something already happened, I get it, I've been there. You
• 10:37
  know where you blame yourself. I think that's the worst form of blame there
• 10:41
  is, because you just keep putting yourself back in that story. And that's
• 10:46
  how we get these repeat stories in our life cycle, and when things happen,
• 10:50
  we just keep telling that same story and telling that same story, and
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  then we're caught up in this cornerstone of negative thoughts. No wonder how our
• 10:58
  thoughts is filled with eighty percent of negative thoughts. That's really really wild.
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  Today we are gonna kill those automatic negative thoughts. And how we're gonna do
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  that. I refer all this back to doctor Amen and in his book,
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  he talks and identifies nine different negative thoughts, or what he calls ants,
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  these automatic negative thoughts. And today I'm just going to really exercise or talk
• 11:26
  through three of them. But today we'll explore what we should do when these
• 11:31
  thoughts come about. So let's dive in. The ants are broken down into
• 11:35
  two sections. One is just kind of like your regular ants, and then
• 11:39
  the other section is killer ants. Right, those biting red ants, the
• 11:43
  ones that sting. I know that you can automatically think of a stinging thought
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  that leaves pain after you get done thinking about it. That's what I'm talking
• 11:54
  about when I talk about the killer ants. Those will kill your thoughts,
• 11:58
  your vision, your dreams faster than the regular ants will. Some of those
• 12:03
  answer just nuisances, right, if you can get rid of them, learn
• 12:07
  the lesson that you came to learn or that you were to learn. So
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  think about it like this, going back to the picnic, maybe we didn't
• 12:13
  cover the food, maybe we didn't put it high enough. But the next
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  time we have that picnic, the next time we have that barbecue, more
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  than likely we would have picked up the lesson of what not to do for
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  next time. And so that's your basic ants. But these killer ants,
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  right, there are three major ones, and today we'll talk about one and
• 12:30
  I'll identify them each for you. So again we're talking about three of the
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  different types of ants. The first one is the all or nothing thought process.
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  What that means is, say, for example, you are on an
• 12:41
  exercise regimen. You decided that I'm starting on Monday. I don't know what
• 12:46
  it is about Mondays? What about the weekends? We don't want to start
• 12:48
  right because on the weekends we turn up. Let's just be honest. But
• 12:52
  you decide on Monday morning, I'm starting my workout regimen. I'm starting the
• 12:56
  Monday after the new year. And here comes the Monday after the new year,
• 13:00
  or maybe next Monday, and you don't start. You see that as
• 13:05
  a done deal, all or nothing. I was supposed to start on this
• 13:07
  day. I didn't start on this day. It's a fail. There's no
• 13:11
  redemption, there's no coming back, there's no starting point. Everything is done
• 13:16
  right then and there. That's the all or nothing mentality. And we can
• 13:22
  change that and we'll talk about the ways we can uproot those negative thoughts.
• 13:24
  Right. So that's one of those six regular ants. And then we'll talk
• 13:30
  about the killer ants, right, the ones that stay and bite. The
• 13:33
  other one is and this is one that listen, we all do this one,
• 13:39
  we think with our feelings. Are you guilty of it? I'll wait,
• 13:43
  put your hand up because I'm putting my hand up. You are guilty
• 13:48
  of thinking with your feelings. You want me to give you some evidence.
• 13:50
  Here's some evidence. You know what, I feel like I'll never find love.
• 13:54
  We're not thinking with the information we have. We're not going with the
• 13:58
  what is, We're going with the you know, I don't think this is
• 14:01
  gonna work out. I feel like I will never find a good job.
• 14:07
  I feel like this entrepreneurial process, this entrepreneurial journey, is not for me.
• 14:11
  I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I can't create
• 14:13
  this event from scratch. That's thinking with your feelings. Imagine that if you
• 14:18
  allow your feelings to guide everything that you did, and some of us have
• 14:22
  some crazy feelings, we'll get up in the morning. Going back to the
• 14:26
  first example and say I don't feel like working out. If I said to
• 14:31
  myself, I don't feel like working out, I will never work out because
• 14:35
  my feelings never feel like working out, I'll just be honest with you.
• 14:39
  So I go with consistency. I've been doing it for so long. I'm
• 14:43
  not gonna stop now. But this thought process of thinking with your feelings,
• 14:48
  this is one of those ants you got to kill when you get it,
• 14:50
  and we'll talk about how to do that here in a minute. And the
• 14:52
  last one, now, this is one of the killer ants. These are
• 14:56
  the ones that sting that bite after they occur. You know how it is.
• 15:00
  If you've ever been bitten by ants, Listen, the killer ants.
• 15:03
  Not the ones that crawl around and make a mess and they just feel ichy
• 15:05
  when they get on you. The ones that come on there, come on
• 15:09
  your skin to wreak havoc, to leave you with that bite and sometimes leave
• 15:13
  you with a mark and leave you with pain. Now some of you may
• 15:18
  be too young to remember Miss Cleo, but back in the nineties when there
• 15:24
  was psychics galore, there was this one psychic called Miss Cleio and she would
• 15:28
  fortune tell your life. But with this killer ant, you're being Miss Cleo,
• 15:33
  predicting all the demise that's going to comeface you, all the worst scenarios,
• 15:37
  right, your fortune telling everything bad that's going to happen to you.
• 15:43
  You never look at the good, and it hurts and it immobilizes you.
• 15:46
  And that's what happens if you've ever been spitten by an ant. It immobilizes
• 15:52
  you. You have to stop. You gotta rub that thing out you cry
• 15:54
  sometimes Listen, it's real. That pain is real, and so when you
• 16:00
  predicting your worst, you live in that. Remember, whatever you focus on
• 16:04
  expands. Do you really want a prediction that your future is already in demise
• 16:11
  before you step out the door in this day? Do you really want that
• 16:15
  to be the story you get to tell? Because you are the only one
• 16:18
  that get to tell your story. You are the common denominator for your life.
• 16:23
  Okay, So we've been talking about these ants, and I know you
• 16:26
  are just ready to start killing some ants. So let's do that. That's
• 16:30
  our next step. So we know what the ants are. Now, this
• 16:33
  ain't This isn't all the ants that are out there. Remember he has nine
• 16:37
  different ants. We talked about two in the regular category, and that those
• 16:41
  killer ants are three killer ants. So let's talk about how we explore these
• 16:47
  negative thoughts when they come up. Well, first of all, you know
• 16:49
  they're gonna come up because they invade your space. Just like the picnic,
• 16:53
  You're mining your business, drinking your drink, your adult beverage, maybe your
• 16:56
  lemonade, whatever it is you're doing, and all of a sudden you look
• 17:00
  around and get something sweet, A sweet treat and the ants have had their
• 17:03
  way with your meal, had their way with your treats. And that's how
• 17:07
  these negative, automatic, negative thoughts do. They come in out of nowhere.
• 17:11
  So the first thing you do is when you notice them, you need
• 17:15
  to recognize it's here. You need to write it down and talk back to
• 17:18
  it. I know it may sound a little Craykray, but eighty percent of
• 17:22
  our thoughts are negative. That's Craig Cray. So guess what you have work
• 17:26
  to do when you leave this podcast. You need to spend some time with
• 17:30
  your thoughts and write down the thoughts. I actually did this exercise a few
• 17:34
  years ago. I thought it was really interesting when I first learned about the
• 17:37
  percent of negative thoughts that we have, the ratio of our thoughts to the
• 17:41
  negative thoughts we have. I spent probably thirty minutes and I just wrote down
• 17:45
  everything that was coming to my mind in that moment. And that might be
• 17:48
  an exercise that you want to do. Do it for five minutes, do
• 17:52
  it for ten minutes. Try it and you'll see that the things that just
• 17:55
  flash in your mind how quickly negativity and once you start one negative, it
• 18:00
  just snowballs into the next. One, and the next one, and the
• 18:03
  next one, and the next one and next thing you know, you're on
• 18:04
  this crazy, big, growing, expanding roller coaster of negative thoughts and it's
• 18:11
  not gonna stop. If you've ever seen a snowball, it's gonna crash before
• 18:14
  it actually stops. I know it sounds crazy, but if you go back
• 18:18
  to episode which one was it when I talked about fear where fear invaded my
• 18:25
  life, I had to talk fear out of there. And so what I've
• 18:27
  been doing, and I'll be honest with you if you think I'm Craig Cray,
• 18:32
  well you haven't seen anything yet because I talked to my negative feelings.
• 18:37
  I talked to the negative thoughts that come up. And it's so important to
• 18:41
  do that. Let me give you an example of someone who did that and
• 18:44
  rebuke the whole thing. If you remember, in the Bible, there is
• 18:47
  a story about calming the wind. So the Disciples and Jesus they were on
• 18:52
  sea, and Jesus was down in the stern, you know, resting on
• 18:55
  his comfort pillow, and here comes a major storm. Whins are thrashing the
• 19:00
  boat left and right. Water is just banging against the boat and coming into
• 19:03
  the boat and the disciples are like, we're gonna die. We're literally gonna
• 19:07
  die. The fear creeps in, the doubt, creeps in all the negativity.
• 19:11
  Right here they are, they have all these ants on the boat,
• 19:12
  right it's all or nothing. It's either we live or we die. It's
• 19:15
  either oh my God, I think we're gonna die. I feel like this
• 19:18
  is the end for us feeling and then also fortune telling that's it, We're
• 19:22
  done. And then one disciple decides to go down and tell Jesus what do
• 19:26
  we master? We're up here, we're getting ready to die. What are
• 19:30
  we gonna do? And Jesus, with the most calmness about him, he
• 19:33
  says, to the storm, be still. And that is the first example
• 19:37
  that I know of where someone spoke to the storm in their life. So
• 19:42
  my recommendation for you, just as doctor Amens, is to talk to that
• 19:48
  thing, write it down, recognize it, know what it is, write
• 19:52
  it down, and then talk to it. And you don't have to have
• 19:56
  a whole long conversation, because what Jesus did was simply say be and that
• 20:00
  was it, and we need to talk to the storms in our life.
• 20:03
  The next one is when you stop that storm. When you say to stop,
• 20:08
  you want to have a corrected thought. So again let's go back to
• 20:12
  our gym example. You want to start on Monday. You get ready on
• 20:15
  Sunday, you put your clothes out, you do what everybody says to do,
• 20:18
  have everything ready, so it's a no brainer in the morning. That's
• 20:21
  one of my tips that I tell people. If you want to get on
• 20:23
  a regular regimen of workout, put your stuff out the night before. You
• 20:26
  put your stuff out the night before. The next day, you get up
• 20:29
  and your feelings start telling you I don't feel like it today. Instead of
• 20:33
  saying all learn nothing in that moment, say you know what, I didn't
• 20:36
  make it today, but I can do it later on tonight. Or I
• 20:37
  didn't make it today, I can get up tomorrow morning and do it.
• 20:41
  So you want to take that thought, take that moment, recognize that yeah
• 20:45
  I didn't do it. Yeah I thought with my feelings, Okay, I
• 20:48
  recognize it. I wrote it down. I could go do something about it.
• 20:51
  So that's what the second one says, stop it and then correct the
• 20:55
  thought. That's the thing. We have to correct the thought, find a
• 20:57
  thought to replace the thought that led to our cornerstone of negative thinking. And
• 21:03
  finally, id your aunt, id it know which one it is? You're
• 21:10
  gonna start, and I'm gonna leave the show notes for doctor Amen's study,
• 21:14
  and you are going to start to recognize these fortune telling, thinking with feelings
• 21:19
  and all or nothing type ants that come into your life as automatic negative thoughts.
• 21:25
  Ide it. That's the first thing they say in anything that you want
• 21:27
  to overcome. For people that deal with alcohol or any type of addiction,
• 21:33
  the first thing they tell them is to recognize, Hey, I did I
• 21:37
  am a whatever whatever that addiction is. You say that first, and then
• 21:41
  you proceed with working to kill it the daily work. And here's the thing
• 21:45
  we've all dealt with ants. They don't just go away. Sometimes they come
• 21:48
  back even after you've done all the things, So you have to keep working
• 21:52
  at killing it, iding it and going from there. I know we're coming
• 21:56
  to the end of the year, but I want you to do this work.
• 22:00
  It's been anywhere from five to thirty minutes just analyzing your thoughts. Let
• 22:03
  your thoughts run wild, because that's what they're gonna do anyway, but let
• 22:07
  them run wild on purpose. Recognize what it is that's coming in, write
• 22:11
  it down, talk back to it, replace it, or correct it with
• 22:15
  the right thought or a thought that will carry you in the direction that you
• 22:18
  need to go, and then id it and kill it for good. That
• 22:22
  is your work this week. That is your work before you wrap up the
• 22:25
  year. I know it's Christmas time, is holiday time, and we just
• 22:29
  want to enjoy. But if you don't kill these ants today, you're gonna
• 22:32
  live with them over and over again, and you're gonna continue to manage these
• 22:37
  negative thoughts. Like doctor MN said, if you get your brain right,
• 22:41
  if you get these things right, your mind will follow. And it's time
• 22:45
  for us to not let ourselves be guided by our feelings. But do the
• 22:49
  work. Manage your thoughts, and you can manage your life. I hope
• 22:59
  you and enjoyed this week's episode of the Urine Ritsub podcast. And the only
• 23:03
  way I'm going to know this is if you leave me some feedback. Feedback
• 23:07
  is a gift and it is free to give, and I would like to
• 23:10
  hear from you. I would like to know what resonated with you regarding this
• 23:14
  week's episode. Now here's how you leave feedback on the platform and which you
• 23:18
  listen to this podcast. Follow the stars. When you get there, leave
• 23:22
  a five star rating. But in all seriousness, when you get there,
• 23:26
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  Also, you can share this on your socials. You can find me primarily
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  me at my Enriched Self that's m y E N RI c h E D
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  s E l F. And you can hashtag this episode. You can tag
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  me. I would love to hear from you, so you can showcase your
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  friends and families and those in the social streets what you're listening to and what's
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  feeding you mind, body and spirit. I also want you to check out
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  the show notes. In the show notes, we have the affirmation of the
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  Week, the Quote of the week, and there you can also find my
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  Amazon shop, the your Rich self shop has two items right now, a
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  journal which is the Show Up Every Day Journal, as well as the Show
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  Up Everyday notebook, so check those out in my Amazon shops. And finally,
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  take what you can from this episode and do what you must in the
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  next one hundred and sixty eight hours so that you can become more of your
• 24:59
  enriched until we meet again.