Latest / Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire. / Trump Admits He Has “Severe Problems” and Katie Zacharia’s Fake Attorney Ruse Exposed

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Trump Admits He Has “Severe Problems” and Katie Zacharia’s Fake Attorney Ruse Exposed · Breaking Absurdity — Today's Top Headlines That Can't Be Unheard. Brought to you by @ItsNotSatire.

• 0:00
  The fallout from Katie Zachariah's disastrous
• 0:02
  press conference is compounding. While SNL scrambles
• 0:07
  to find somebody to replace her, we have a suggestion.
• 0:14
  In today's breaking absurdity, Donald Trump has
• 0:16
  admitted to having severe problems. But then
• 0:19
  he asked the press to forget he ever said that.
• 0:23
  Good luck with that one, sir. And in his rallies,
• 0:27
  things are getting even weirder. And we didn't
• 0:31
  think that was possible. Earlier this week, we
• 0:34
  introduced you to Katie Zachariah, the White
• 0:35
  House's new press secretary, whose first press
• 0:38
  conference went about as smoothly as a shopping
• 0:40
  cart with a wheel missing. We also covered her
• 0:42
  rather extraordinary claim that she'd passed
• 0:44
  the bar exam in China, which is an interesting
• 0:47
  place to pass a bar exam considering that China
• 0:50
  doesn't even have a bar exam for foreigners.
• 0:53
  And the only logical explanation is that Katie
• 0:56
  Zachariah got her law degree from Timu. But since
• 0:59
  then, Things have taken another turn. First Katie
• 1:02
  had some explaining to do about her performance
• 1:04
  at that press conference. And apparently things
• 1:06
  got started at a pumpkin patch. You go from Friday
• 1:09
  at the pumpkin patch. to monday morning at the
• 1:12
  podium basically well wednesday at the pumpkin
• 1:15
  patch yeah wednesday phone call thursday flight
• 1:18
  friday meeting saturday flight sunday flight
• 1:21
  a pumpkin patch hey well i knew our recruitment
• 1:24
  standards have gone down in the trump administration
• 1:26
  but i didn't know just how far and i woke up
• 1:29
  at three in the morning on tuesday to prepare
• 1:32
  with what i had but they weren't finalized until
• 1:34
  we didn't finalize everything until about 8 a
• 1:37
  .m yeah getting up at 3 a .m is apparently pretty
• 1:40
  normal for a press secretary but it's not normal
• 1:42
  if you're coming from a pumpkin patch. And I
• 1:45
  never had a full briefing beforehand and I went
• 1:51
  out and I effectuated the briefing. She what
• 1:54
  the briefing? She just used the word effectuating
• 1:57
  to say I did the briefing. And Katie just loves
• 2:00
  showing off her vocabulary. Rather than deleterious
• 2:03
  to the deal. Deleterious? Remember that word,
• 2:07
  she used it last week. Is not actually deleterious
• 2:10
  to bringing peace. In fact, it works towards
• 2:12
  peace. I mean, those are some pretty big words
• 2:15
  from somebody from a pumpkin patch. But Katie,
• 2:18
  come on. We already know how intelligent you
• 2:20
  are. So let's get to the part where Katie finally
• 2:23
  admits she did take the bar. We just said, let's
• 2:27
  take. this time and I'll take the bar and see
• 2:31
  what happens. The results are somewhat inconsequential
• 2:34
  because I knew I wouldn't need the bar in China
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  and we left shortly thereafter. She can't even
• 2:41
  admit she failed the bar, but don't worry Katie
• 2:44
  because the Wall Street Journal did that for
• 2:46
  you. So Katie failed the bar exam, so what does
• 2:49
  that mean in terms of how she can represent herself?
• 2:52
  I'm Noah Feldman. I'm a professor at Harvard
• 2:54
  Law School. Can you call yourself a lawyer if
• 2:56
  you went to law school, graduated, and never
• 2:58
  took the bar? The short answer is no. OK, so
• 3:02
  did Katie Zachariah ever call herself a lawyer?
• 3:05
  Katie, you're the attorney. Is this legal? Well,
• 3:09
  Gavin Newsom has not cared about what's legal.
• 3:12
  Yikes. That's not good. Well, I'm sure she never
• 3:15
  referred to herself as a lawyer. especially as
• 3:18
  a lawyer. I mean, I am a lawyer. As a lawyer.
• 3:22
  I'm a lawyer. Because that's what we do as lawyers.
• 3:25
  I'm a lawyer. Yikes, this is not good. Well,
• 3:28
  what does that Harvard guy say about the difference
• 3:30
  between a lawyer and an attorney? Maybe there's
• 3:33
  some way she can spin this. Certainly for the
• 3:35
  last couple of hundred years, if you say you're
• 3:37
  an attorney, you're saying you're a lawyer. If
• 3:38
  you're saying you're a lawyer, you're saying
• 3:40
  an attorney. There's no difference between those.
• 3:42
  So, Katie failed the bar exam, she's not a lawyer,
• 3:45
  and that also means she's not an attorney. This
• 3:48
  isn't looking good for her, but I'm sure she
• 3:50
  hasn't broken any laws at least, right? If you're
• 3:53
  practicing law and you never pass the bar, there
• 3:55
  are only two options. Option A, you're... lying
• 3:59
  and you weren't actually practicing law. Or option
• 4:02
  B, you were practicing law without a license,
• 4:04
  which is a serious no -no and is actually a crime
• 4:07
  in a lot of places. Yikes. Things seem to be
• 4:09
  getting worse for Katie Zachariah at every clip.
• 4:12
  I'm just going to leave it there because she
• 4:15
  might be in jail by the end of this video. Good
• 4:17
  morning. Good morning. Now going back to Katie's
• 4:21
  press conference going off the rails. There's
• 4:24
  been talk of who's going to play here on Saturday
• 4:26
  Night Live, and we just want to highlight one
• 4:27
  performance that's pretty unforgettable. Good
• 4:30
  morning, everybody. Wow, so many people. OK.
• 4:35
  That's right. It's Michael Pavano, one of the
• 4:37
  most viral influencers on TikTok and Instagram,
• 4:40
  doing his own Katie Zachariah. Yes, Breitbart.
• 4:43
  As a mother of four, how do you balance your
• 4:46
  family and your responsibilities to President
• 4:48
  Trump? Yes. I am a mother of four beautiful children.
• 4:56
  And my president, I mean, my husband, excuse
• 5:00
  me. Oh my god. The idea of not spending evenings
• 5:04
  with my kids is completely unacceptable. So my
• 5:08
  president, excuse me, my husband. That's a good
• 5:12
  one. My husband is out here. I actually love
• 5:16
  both of them. Okay, not in the same way though.
• 5:19
  Obviously I love President Trump more. Professionally,
• 5:23
  of course. Well, best of luck to whoever gets
• 5:28
  the role at SNL, but you know who gets our vote.
• 5:31
  Well, not long after that press conference, Trump
• 5:33
  got on a plane and flew to Alaska to have another
• 5:36
  rally. And Trump talked about one of his favorite
• 5:39
  topics. a cognitive test that apparently is so
• 5:42
  difficult that it starts with identifying a lion,
• 5:45
  a giraffe, and a tiger. But I'm going to fast
• 5:47
  forward through that because it got even weirder
• 5:49
  just after it. But remember, I'm the only one
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  that took the test. You know, I took the aptitude
• 5:54
  test or whatever the hell they call it. No, it's
• 5:56
  not an aptitude test, but I do wish he had taken
• 5:59
  one before he ran for president. I took it. Every
• 6:03
  time I do a physical, I take a mental test. That's
• 6:12
  not the flex he thinks it is. Why do I feel like
• 6:22
  I'm part of the collateral damage just listening
• 6:25
  to this rubbish? Something tells me President
• 6:32
  Trump hasn't looked in the mirror recently. I
• 6:51
  think the answer to that question is pretty self
• 6:53
  -explanatory based on his long and proven track
• 6:56
  record of integrity. And in another moment, I
• 7:00
  think he answered some other questions we had,
• 7:02
  inadvertently. I could use a nice stiff drink
• 7:13
  right about now. He just said he's got some pretty
• 7:22
  severe problems. So what are they, Mr. President?
• 7:26
  Those are not one of them. I don't want to add
• 7:28
  them to the list. Ooh, there's a list. Keep going.
• 7:32
  Do you understand that, Todd? I don't want to
• 7:34
  add them to the list. Because if I did, I guarantee
• 7:36
  I wouldn't be here right now. Ah, well apparently
• 7:39
  those severe problems are still under lock and
• 7:42
  key. But one wonders why he would mention that
• 7:44
  he had severe problems in the first place. He
• 7:47
  could have just said he doesn't have those problems.
• 7:50
  So it's three problems I don't have. And here's
• 7:53
  the part we've been waiting for, the part where
• 7:55
  he realized he just put his foot in his mouth.
• 7:58
  And it's really good. Now the press is going
• 8:00
  to say, what problem does he have? Let's figure
• 8:03
  it out. I probably set myself up for that one,
• 8:06
  Todd. Finally, he's right about something. I
• 8:09
  actually don't know. Right. I'm sure with the
• 8:11
  countless doctors that follow you everywhere
• 8:13
  and the constant physicals you're taking, you've
• 8:15
  got no idea what your health problems are. I
• 8:18
  was just having fun to the media. They're wonderful
• 8:21
  people. Wow, the media are wonderful people.
• 8:26
  A rare compliment from the president. Thank you,
• 8:28
  Mr. Trump, but I'm going to decline the application
• 8:31
  to press secretary. I think you've got it well
• 8:34
  covered with Katie Zachariah. Thanks for watching
• 8:37
  Breaking Absurdity. And remember, don't stare
• 8:40
  into the abyss alone. Let's do it together. Like,
• 8:43
  subscribe, and leave a comment below. Let me
• 8:45
  know what you thought about this episode. I want
• 8:47
  to hear from you.