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2: Confidence Is the Cheat Code | What Most Real Estate Agents Are Never Told · Real Talk Real Agents | A Real Estate Podcast for Agents

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  Nobody in real estate is gonna tell you the real stuff.
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  So we will.
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  We're gonna talk about all the stuff that nobody posts about.
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  But everybody needs to hear.
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  We've been in this industry long enough to know what works.
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  And long enough to know what doesn't.
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  I'm Pam.
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  And I'm Mackenzie.
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  And this is Real Talk Real Agents.
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  And this is Real Talk Real Agents.
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  If you're a real estate agent that is so tired of the fake it 'til you
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  make it energy, this is your show.
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  We are two agents who are still in it every single day, and we are
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  not coaching from the sidelines.
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  We are in the trenches with you.
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  No filters and no fluff.
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  All right.
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  Real talk starts right now.
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  So the Real Talk Real Agents, I think the last one was really a kickoff.
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  This is really the fist- first official episode, I think.
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  It is.
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  And the title of this episode is Confidence is the Cheat Code.
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  Yes.
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  I don't know.
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  So I feel like so many agents, we talk a lot about confidence.
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  That seems to be the number one thing that people feel like they
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  don't have, especially as newer agents or even new-ish agents.
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  They don't, I guess they fear they're gonna walk into an appointment and not
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  have an answer, and so it just parlays into this lack of confidence phase.
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  Absolutely.
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  No matter where you are in your business, no matter what stage- … c-
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  the confidence conversation comes up with agents that we interview,
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  with agents that are on our team.
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  How do they get to the next level?
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  I think this is a, just a life topic.
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  Oh.
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  I feel like it's- All right.
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  So true … even beyond real estate in so many ways.
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  You know what I mean?
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  You just meet people.
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  Absolutely.
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  And then we're in this lovely menopause phase of our life.
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  And I think that even life changes can change maybe how you
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  view yourself or your business.
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  And so even though you may be older and more experienced, it doesn't mean
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  that you don't sometimes struggle a little bit with confidence.
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  All right.
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  Yes to all of that.
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  So you and I have talked a lot about this offline.
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  Just personally, professionally, conversations with other
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  people, not even just agents.
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  Like you said- Yeah … this is a life, this is a man-woman thing.
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  This isn't just a- Yeah … menopausal woman thing.
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  What do you think confidence is?
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  What is the definition of confidence in your mind?
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  Yeah, we, and we've kinda cheated a little bit in this too, but
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  I totally agree in some of our conversations we had yesterday.
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  So I think people get, gain confidence in different ways.
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  Some people, it feels like it's through experience, it's just doing.
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  That's a good portion of the people.
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  I know you like to read and learn- … and so I think you gain confidence in
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  the educational piece of whatever she's doing, she's gonna read about.
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  'Cause she's a teacher, right?
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  So she wants to learn about it so she can teach others.
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  And so I think a good p- a good part of your confidence comes
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  from that educational background.
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  And then there's some people just intuitively I think have
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  a little bit more confidence.
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  I say this all the time, I have an inordinate amount of
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  confidence that I should not have.
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  You should.
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  It's fascinating to watch.
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  But I do think it comes down to foundationally that I might not know
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  all the answers, but I do know that I will find a solution, and I'm very
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  equipped to make the phone calls, do the research, find somebody to help
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  me with whatever that problem is.
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  And so I think I can just go into it with "I'll figure it out," and
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  that's always been my motto, right?
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  Say yes and figure it out.
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  And so I think I kinda can lean into that a little bit.
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  So it's, yeah.
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  And I think that's the difference between agents who grow and
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  agents who struggle, right?
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  We want to know how to do it to get the confidence to do it.
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  And really, as much as I read about it, I can prepare myself, but I've learned
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  that I have to do it- Yeah And I, for me personally, I have to do it before I
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  can feel confident in showing somebody else perhaps the way, the how, right?
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  When I'm talking, there's just I was, as we talked about this often and
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  as different agents ask us different questions, and I'm just, sometimes
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  I'm like, h- they're like, you can just rattle off this handler f- for
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  this listing, for this seller, for this," and they're just like, "How?"
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  And it's the repetition- Yeah … of doing it.
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  So you can't get experience until you do it.
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  You can't fail forward until you try, right?
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  Yeah.
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  You hear that that motto, fake it till you make it.
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  And some people are "That's not true. You have to, scripts, and
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  you have…" And yes, I believe in knowing some ideas of what to say.
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  So you've been listening this long and you still haven't subscribed?
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  We see you.
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  Okay, so we're doing the thing.
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  We're asking you to follow us.
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  Now, where were we?
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  Just working with agents at different phases of their career this topic of
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  confidence- Yes … comes up all the time.
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  And sometimes it is not about age.
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  Sometimes it's not even about experience.
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  Just things will come up and people feel a little rattled on confidence.
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  So we thought it might be nice to just talk about Some, maybe some
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  cheats that we've learned or we've seen or just observations, 'cause we
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  talk about confidence all the time.
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  We do, and agents are looking for, want it.
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  Sometimes they don't even realize they have it.
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  They just need to have- Yeah … a little bit of that belief in themselves.
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  And, we all want that confidence to do something new, especially
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  if we're new in real estate.
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  And having said that, this really is for anyone, no matter where
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  you are in your business, right?
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  Correct.
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  Yeah.
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  Because we're always trying to grow, right?
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  Or hopefully we are trying to grow, build our business in different ways.
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  And we want that confidence before we've actually tried the thing.
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  Yeah.
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  And that's, I think, where that difference between an agent that we see that's
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  gonna grow or an agent that's gonna struggle, I think it fundamentally
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  seems to come down to that person has what type of mindset they have.
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  Yeah.
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  We talk about this a lot, too.
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  If it's just more of a stagnant, closed mindset or if it's someone that is really
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  up for the challenge- … and has a open mindset I think you can see some parallels
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  between those different personality types at times and and confidence.
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  All right.
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  So if I can say this because you've said it before about yourself- Nope … is
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  that it's fascinating to watch you, right?
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  Just professionally as a friend, right?
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  With your level of confidence in some things that you've never even done before.
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  Correct.
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  And I'm- And I do say it all the time, like I literally have
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  more confidence than I deserve.
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  So I'm just trying to rub some of it off on me, because I differently create that
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  confidence by researching, by reading- Correct … by watching, by observing.
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  Correct.
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  But then you can get into your head.
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  Correct, yes.
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  And so- Do I know enough?
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  Have I learned enough?
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  Have I read enough- … to, yeah, to build that confidence.
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  To do it, and then as agents are looking to us and talking about you'll have
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  agents that will look at me and just say, "But you're so confident when
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  you're talking to a seller. You sound so confident when you're on the phone with
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  a buyer, with somebody, a new prospect," or whatever that… And then, so my
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  immediate response is no, I'm just as…
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  I lack the confidence as much as you do." But then I really
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  thought about it and, yes, I read.
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  Yes, I consume as much information as I can, but it's from that repetition
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  of having those conversations with sellers, with buyers- Yes … with
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  other agents- … with networking.
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  So I don't know.
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  Do you have any thoughts on that?
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  Yeah.
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  I think we've gotten to it in different ways, 'cause we have
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  different personalities, right?
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  But I think it's very similar.
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  It's just in different ways.
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  So I think the confidence does come from activity- … from action, and
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  maybe it was not real estate related.
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  I don't know.
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  We traveled to Philadelphia this past weekend.
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  We did.
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  And it's so interesting to watch just people in general.
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  I have a fascination with just the psychology of just people in general.
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  But you do have folks that have lived in the same little place their whole life.
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  Their bubble is so small.
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  And then our parents, right?
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  They tell us to be careful.
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  Don't do that.
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  We- we're constantly pulling people back from a very young age from any type
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  of action to get them outside of this comfort zone And then you have people
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  that have maybe had life thrust upon them.
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  And I feel like I qualify as one of those people, that you've maybe had to learn,
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  again, not about real estate, but just learn that, "Hey, I survived that shit.
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  That did not take me down.
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  All right it did something, scare the crap out of me, but I'm on the other
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  side of it now." And so I think through some repetition there, but it is, at
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  the end of the day, a choice and action taking, whether it's through learning
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  and script play, or just experience that way, or it's maybe some life
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  experience that you can lean into.
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  That's fascinating, that psychology- … that you brought up, because I don't
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  know that I grew up in an environment.
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  I did grow environment that I was just like, "I gotta figure this out." Yes.
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  I had, and have, a very stable, n- no family's perfect.
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  Love you mom and dad- yeah … if you're listening to this.
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  That it was, be careful, be safe.
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  Make the safe, care- be- make the safe and careful choice.
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  Which has gotten me very far.
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  Correct.
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  However, to get out of my comfort zone and to do that next thing, I've had
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  to then learn to, "Kate, you're gonna have to jump before you learn how
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  to swim, and be okay with failing."
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  Yes.
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  And that's hard for a people pleaser like me, just for the record.
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  Any people pleasers out there, I'm trying to work on that, but- Yeah … I
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  think that's also an incred- when I, talking to agents and just thinking
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  about conversations, s- again, we're not psychologists, but so much of this
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  comes from, how we were raised- Yeah
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  And our belief, our internal belief system.
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  Agreed.
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  I think that's part of it, too, and I think confidence does, at
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  the end of the day, you don't think that you have all the answers.
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  Oh, yeah.
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  I know I don't have all the answers, too, so I'm not coming at confidence
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  from a standpoint that I think I know anything better than anyone else.
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  But what I do know m- so very solidly is who I am as a person,
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  and that I care about people, and that I will figure out a solution.
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  I'll figure it out.
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  S- okay.
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  They lack the confidence.
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  Yeah.
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  What are some actionable steps that maybe we've taken, or that we've seen
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  other people taken, and we didn't die.
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  We didn't blow up our lives, yeah.
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  And just something they can take away the next time they're going on another
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  appointment, that they're just don't, they lack that confidence and… So I do think
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  there are some cheats that you can do.
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  First of all is I think, and it sounds maybe silly, but
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  appearance can sometimes help you.
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  It's maybe false confidence, but it certainly doesn't hurt.
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  So I tell myself this if I'm going into a listing appointment
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  of a really fancy, dance-y house.
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  I'm gonna feel vet better about that presentation if, if I feel
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  like I'm putting my best foot forward aesthetically, personally.
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  And then coming to the table as prepared as possible.
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  But scripting, I know that's something that you do a lot.
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  It's just, it's practice, right?
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  It's just giving yourself the opportunity to know the words a little bit more
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  fluently than maybe you would just off the cuff because you don't, you
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  lack a little bit of that experience.
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  Yes, and, excuse me, and I think what really helps in that, getting over that
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  hump of having to learn it all before I even try to do it, was going in with
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  that mindset and setting the expectation for myself is I'm not gonna have all
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  the answers, and being okay to say that to the person I'm talking to across.
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  Yeah.
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  'Cause what I have learned is people I don't think are expecting
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  me to have all the answers.
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  I think they're expecting me to be honest- Correct … and true and
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  come from that place of service, and come from that place that I do wanna
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  help you buy or sell or, reinvest.
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  Whatever their goal is, I can walk away whether I get the listing, whether the
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  buyer wants to work with me, whether an agent joins our team, I can feel
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  that I've come from the right place and asked the right questions and
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  been as honest as I possibly can be.
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  And then at least I can walk away from that just respecting, again, going
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  back to who I am and what we're trying to build and create for other people.
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  I think at the end of the day, people are looking for someone that they can trust.
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  That's just the baseline- … for all of this.
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  So you just being yourself, having real conversations, not afraid to ask
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  questions, and being less concerned over, am I saying things perfectly?
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  Is my brochure pretty enough?
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  People could give two shits about- … any of that, right?
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  Even though we have them all.
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  Oh, we do.
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  Look, I have gone down a dark hole on marketing, so this is coming
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  from someone that really does care.
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  But yeah, I mean- … it's, are you trustworthy?
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  Are you coming across that way?
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  Do people feel like you have their best interest in mind?
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  If you feel that solidly too, if you know who you are- … and you have
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  high integrity, I f- I feel like that is the foundation for your confidence.
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  So lean into that before experience.
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  Absolutely.
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  So today, after this podcast, we want you guys to go out there and
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  maybe try something that you think that you've lacked confidence in
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  but feel very passionate about.
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  Because what we have experienced is that passion and that love for other
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  people and what you're doing will come out, and it will look like confidence.
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  Okay, so we're basically everywhere now, and we're still not over it.
• 13:15
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• 13:19
  And YouTube if you actually want to see our faces.
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  For better or for worse.
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  Find us, follow us.
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  And tell your agent friends.