Latest / Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot / Body Language (1/7): Own the Room Before You Speak. #MakingMovesMonday

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Body Language (1/7): Own the Room Before You Speak. #MakingMovesMonday · Dr. Derek H. Suite MD - The SuiteSpot

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Greetings and welcome.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Making Moves Monday, here on the sweet spot where neuroscience meets ancient wisdom to unlock your peak performance mind, body and spirit.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: And that's what we're going to do this week.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I'm a board-certified psychiatrist.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: As you know, I specialize in high performance and, as you also know, it's much more than high performance.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: It's all about all of us living the lives we love, all of us being the best versions of ourselves.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: So this week we're talking about something that speaks louder than your voice, something that whispers before you even say a word.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: This week we're diving into the power of body language.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Yes, the power of body language.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: My wife Darcelle told me that this would be a great series and at first I said no, I don't think it's going to work.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know, it might be too technical, it might be too much.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: And she said to me give it a try, make it simple.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: And guess what, as I reflected, she's 100% right Body language is a simple thing.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Because your body is your first messenger.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It's that simple.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: It's your first messenger, not just in an interview or on a stage.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: It's your first messenger in the locker room.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: It's your first messenger in the boardroom.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: It's your first messenger in the kitchen.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: It's your first messenger in everyday life.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: When you walk into a room, when you meet someone new, if you're disciplining your kids, if you're comforting someone you love.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Your body is speaking before your words, your posture, your eyes, your breath.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: These things tell the truth or they tell a story you didn't mean to tell.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: So today we begin with one of the most critical lessons.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: When we talk about body language and when we coach lots of executives and actors and entertainers and athletes as well, we talk about owning the room before you speak, owning the stage before you speak, owning the field or the pitch wherever you are performing it could be your living room.
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: You've got to own that room before you speak.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Why?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Because people judge confidence, competence and trustworthiness in the first seven seconds, before you even open your mouth, your body has already delivered your message, and it happens fast, my friends.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: So the best thing you can do when we coach folks is we tell them this Get into awareness, be aware that you have a mind, you have a body and you have a spirit and you want them to align.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: You want them to align.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: So start with your posture, always stand tall or sit tall, always have your shoulders back and have your chin up, not looking down all the time, not looking down all the time.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: You know, postural feedback theory shows that this kind of action when you stand tall, you put your shoulders back and your chins up it not only improves your mood, it actually sends a signal back to your brain and, I'll say it, your prefrontal cortex.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: It'll send a signal back to your brain.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It will tell you you belong here, this is your space, and it will breed confidence into you just by posturing yourself correctly.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: So the stand tall, shoulders back, chin up, that's one thing you can do.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: The next thing you can do is to work on eye contact.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: So many people, when we talk about being more assertive, they think that you've got to stare people down and it's about locking eyes with folks.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Well, that's aggression.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: That's aggressive and most things don't.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Most individuals don't like that.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Eye contact is not a stare down.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: What we do in psychology and psychiatry and coaching.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: We talk about the eye contact triangle.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Have you ever heard about that, the eye contact triangle?
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: What it is is that you have to shift your gaze between someone's eyes and their mouth, not looking into their eyes directly, nor looking into their mouth directly, just between the eyes and the mouth, when you're talking to someone.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Focus in this area.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: What this does according to social and psychology science it builds trust without the pressure of having a stare down and it helps you bond without it being awkward.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: So think about that eye contact triangle.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Think about just between the eyes and the mouth and aim for that area when you're talking to someone.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: So we've already talked about standing tall, shoulders back, chin up.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Now we talked about the eye contact triangle, sort of shifting your gaze between someone's eyes and mouth and building trust that way.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And now the next thing is how do you enter a room?
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Believe it or not?
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: We coach individuals, athletes, we coach performers to think about the way you're going to enter the stadium, the way you're going to enter the arena, the way you're going to enter the room.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: It could be the boardroom, it could be the bedroom, it could be the kitchen, I don't care.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: There's a way that you have to enter, and the way we say it is with three things you enter with breath, presence and peace.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I'll say it again you enter with breath, with presence and with peace.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: This has to be in your mind so that your body can accept that, so that your body can accept that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: One inhale, one exhale, then step in and own your arrival.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: You'll be surprised if you took that moment just before you entered any room and you practice it with breath, with presence and with peace One inhale, one exhale and then step in and own your arrival.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: There's an actual term for this.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: It's called embodied cognition.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: That's what science calls this.
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: When you own your breath, your presence and your peace, you take that inhale, you take that exhale, you step in and you're owning it.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Shoulders square, chins up using the eye triangle right, chins up using the eye triangle right.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: So when you do this, you are sending your brain a message, and what it tells your brain is that you belong here, you perform well here.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: It breeds confidence, it sets you up to be in a level of awareness that makes you appear confident to everyone else too.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: And here's where the ancient wisdom shows up.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: You know I love ancient wisdom.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: I always quote something, and in Proverbs there's a saying let the wise listen and add to their learning and let the discerning get guidance.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: In other words, awareness is power.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: Listen to the room, learn from what's going on, discern what's happening.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: The wise know that how you carry yourself carries the message.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: So start there.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: So here's the challenge.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Before your next conversation on this, making Moves Monday, I want you to take 10 seconds and scan your own posture.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: How are you standing?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I want you to also be aware of your breath.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Steady your breath, how are you breathing?
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: And then I want you to set your eyes.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Set your eyes in the right way.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: When we're talking to other individuals, if we're kind of half turned to them, if our head is in the book or we're not paying, people read all that and it can set up a positive or negative interaction, no matter what you say, because they're looking at your body.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: Do you get that?
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: Scan your posture, steady your breath, set your eyes, own the moment.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Let your body say what your spirit already knows.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: I've got this.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: So tomorrow is Take Action Tuesday and we're going to flip the script.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: What if your body could lead your mind?
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: What if action creates confidence?
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: You'll find out tomorrow if you tune in to Take Action Tuesday here on the Sweet Spot, I'm Dr Derek Sweet.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: We're doing a whole series this week on the power of body language.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Be blessed and remember send a message with your body first.