Latest / The Pressing Play Podcast / Ep15 Pressing Play on We Weren't Meant to do Midlife Alone
Transcript
- Jo Fiddy: Hello and welcome back to the Pressing Play podcast. I'm your host, Joe Fiddy. And if you were listening last week, you would have noticed that. There wasn't an episode. In all the time that I've recorded the podcast, I actually missed one. But I have a very good reason. And this, in fact, has inspired this episode. So last week I flew into London And I was there for two incredible events hosted by my mentor, Poppy Delbridge. And they were so, so good. And as a rapper tapping pro, it was really extra special because I finally got to meet the women that I've been tapping alongside online. We've been training in this for about a year. I've been an EFT practitioner for nine years And To experience this work in person, like to reconnect, to learn, and to be surrounded by people who genuinely care about helping other people feel better. it just filled up my cup. And what surprised me most, it wasn't just the events which kind of blew my mind, it was how I felt afterwards. I came home calmer, lighter, energized, like my cup was actually full. and as I was on the flight coming back, I was kind of scripting this podcast out actually, because it was this It was the importance of connection and how important Connection actually is. And obviously, you know I love the science. So I came across a wonderful phrase that social psychologists use. And it's called collective effervescence. And It's the feeling that happens when human beings come together around a shared experience. So whether that's music, learning, movement, storytelling, or simply sitting in the same room. Now, research suggests that being physically together can create a stronger sense of connection than experiencing exactly the same thing online. So whether it's the same speakers, the same content. There's something really magical about it and a completely different experience in the body. And that kind of like made me go, wow. Because your nervous system knows the difference between watching life and living it. Now, the online world. You know, I coach women all over the world online. This podcast exists because of it. And In fact, many of the women I hugged in London are women I first met online. And I feel like the internet helps us find our people, but real life deepens those connections. And I talk about this. a friend of mine who I trained with, Emma Osborne Gannon. She's incredible. She helps children. Regulate their nervous system and feel more confident. Highly recommend checking her out. And we were talking a lot about the online world, social media, especially around children right now, you know, in the UK, with the social media conversations for under 16s and the importance of connection, the importance of human experiences, especially. When I look back, the childhood that I had, you know, in the eight 80s and 90s. And I'm definitely exploring that more as my girls get older. So going back to that, it's like online inspires us, introduces us, it does open the door, but it's a door that we have to go through. So we can meet for coffee, we can meet for a walk, we can dance. it's a reminder that online connection isn't meant to replace real life. It's meant to help us come together and lead us back to it. And I don't know about you, but I feel like this matters even more in parimenopause. Because this can be one of the loneliest seasons of a woman's life. You know, our hormones are fluctuating and many of us feel more stressed or anxious and our confidence is wobbling. And sometimes, you know, we wonder where this version of ourselves has gone. And I hear this with the work that I do and the conversations with my friends is I I just don't feel like me anymore. And as someone who works in nervous system regulation every single day. I know how important it is to help women find those moments of calm. We also know that supportive relationships are linked with lower stress and better well-being. And during perimenopause, when our stress response can feel more sensitive, feeling understood, connected isn't just a lovely bonus. It becomes a really important part of looking after ourselves. And I don't think that's taught at school. And sometimes You know, regulation can look like tapping, a deep breath and and a long walk and being in nature. But sometimes it's just being with another woman and looking over and you're just having a good old chat about it. And it's like, yeah, I get it. I get it. And I was reading all about all of this, I came across the work of anthropologists like Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hardy, who reminds us that human beings have always been like a collective. So for thousands of years, women gathered, whether it was around fires and food, around births, in grief, in celebrations, you know, we shared stories. We sang, we danced, we laughed, you know, we helped raise children together. It was that village. And we supported one another through every season of life and gathering it wasn't a luxury. It's part of how we survived. And and maybe that's why it feels so good when we find our people. And maybe our bodies remember something our busy lives and brains have forgotten. And one of the things I've spoken about before on this podcast is that invisible pause and that invisible pause button. And somewhere along the way, so many women stop choosing themselves. There's no shame in that. I'm one of them. We stop making time for friendships. We stop saying yes to invitations and we stop playing. And life becomes about work, children, aging parents, and Everyone else's needs, and somewhere in all of that, we do quietly disappear from our own lives. Now, maybe we do. And maybe we're not even aware of it. And this weekend reminded me that we don't have to do that. It really was like a confirmation that pressing plate it's about saying yes to connection. It's about making time for people. And it's about remembering that sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your well-being isn't adding another supplement, another pod, or another thing to your to-do list. It's just saying yes to the coffee, the walk, the festival, the conversation, the hug. And in a few weeks, I'm going to be at Latitude Festival sharing rapid tapping. And I haven't been to a festival. and I used to love a festival. Can you believe my loves? In like nine years, I mean, don't get me started on the outfit and what on earth I'm supposed to wear. But as I was saying, I digress. So anyway, I'm gonna be at Latitude Festival in Suffolk, and I'm gonna be spending the weekend listening to music, soaking up the atmosphere, and god, I'm so excited. And I'm excited because we're creating spaces where humans can come together, where strangers can become friends, and we can get our nervous systems settled. I mean, music is so powerful. And coming together, where we remember who we are. And this summer, my invitation to you is: don't have the perfect summer. You don't have to be the most productive. Summer, but to have a connected summer. Say yes to seeing a friend. Join the class you've been thinking about. Go to the festival. And if you're at latitude, please come and say hi. I'll be in the Zen tent on Friday. You know, sit in the sun, look up from your phone, and remember there are people outside in the real world. And I'm going to take a moment now to say that. After this podcast, we have one more incredible guest. Season one, darlings, is going out with a bang. And I am going to be taking this summer off. I want to unplug from the mic. I want to be creating these moments, and the podcast will be back for season two in September. Filled with I've already got some cracking guests on, and I've got some. ideas bubbling in my mind and I think the more I unplug, the more those ideas will come through. So we are gonna be getting you ready for that back to school vibe in September. So do tune in. But like I say, we've got one more episode left to go with an incredible guest. And I really want to make sure that I'm pressing play on my own life as well. Because you know, I've truly believed that I want to do what I say I do and walk my walk. 'Cause I truly believe that this movement is about helping and inspiring women to remember to press play and choosing themselves and creating a world where thousands of women remember themselves together. because after this time in London and these events, I'm more convinced than ever. We were never meant to do midlife alone. Remember those BFF necklaces that you we had as kids and we used to give them to our friends? I think we just need to buy them up. Who was that Hall? I don't know. I can't remember the brand. But we had these beautiful gold and silver necklaces that we gave to our besties. And I just think we just need to bring them back. And we will be need to be just celebrating our friendships and our relationships. And remember that we weren't meant to do midlife alone. I want to take a moment and thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being here. I spoke to some women in London who were listening to the podcast and it just means the world that it's that it's inspiring you. It really is my mission to support you and help you press play. And do send this to a friend. Do share the pod. The more we all come together, the more we gather, the stronger we become. Okay, my loves, until next time. Keep pressing play.