Shows / Life Over Coffee
Life Over Coffee
Rick launched the Life Over Coffee global training network in 2008 to bring hope and help for you and others by creating resources that spark conversations for transformation. His primary responsibilities are resource creation and leadership development, which he does through speaking, writing, podcasting, and educating. In 1990 he earned a BA in Theology and, in 1991, a BS in Education. In 1993, he received his ordination into Christian ministry, and in 2000 he graduated with an MA in…
Episodes
Life Over CoffeeChapter Two Mable's Lonely Journey Begins
After a couple of sessions of getting to know Mable, I began to ask her specific questions regarding her fundamental understanding of theology and how that…
Life Over CoffeeChapter One: The Desperate Housewife
I met Mable at a conference, where she approached me with a soft-bound copy of my Help! My Marriage Has Grown Cold booklet in her hand. She said that God had…
- Life Over Coffee
Ep. 480 Ten Ways to Kill Your Marriage
Shows Main Idea – Marriage is a long-term, forever relationship with no escape clause. I realize there are biblical reasons for divorce, but it’s not how…
- Life Over Coffee
The Non-negotiable First Step to Build a Happy Home
A happy home does not just happen. Like all good things, you must have a plan and be willing to execute hard work (Luke 14:27). The good news is that…
- Life Over Coffee
Ep. 479 Jacob Valk Into the Light Documentary
Shows Main Idea – Into the Light is a teaching documentary on freedom from pornography that walks through the change process from bondage in sin to freedom in…
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9/11 Is a Study in Misplaced Faith and Hard Hearts
We will never forget the tragedy of 9/11. Most of us who are old enough remember exactly where we were on that tragic day. I was sitting in my counseling…
- Life Over Coffee
Am I to Forgive Someone Who Is Not Asking?
Biff asked, “As a believer, does God’s Word require me to forgive a relative of mine time after time—essentially let her off the hook—for her unkind behavior…
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Ep. 478 What to Do After Two People Forgive Each Other
Shows Main Idea – Whenever there is a sin event between two people, there will always be a need to ask for and grant forgiveness. If they do not transact…
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What If I Forgive Someone But They Never Change?
Forgiveness is only one aspect of the change process. It does not imply a complete change when discussing repentance because there are several links in the…
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Ep. 477 Breaking Down Forgiveness, Practically Speaking
Shows Main Idea – Forgiveness is a multifaceted God-centered opportunity for two people to reconcile after there is a transgression. It's not always…
- Life Over Coffee
The Dangerous Doctrine of Forgiving Yourself
Forgiving yourself is an odd teaching that has crept into Christians’ understanding of sanctification. It’s part of the culture’s futile way of thinking…
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The Sad Side to The Blind Side
We watched The Blind Side a few weeks after it came out. We had heard rave reviews about the movie. Nearly every review, from the network of movie reviewers…
Life Over CoffeeEp. 476 Ten Responses to the Friend Who Won't Admit Wrong
Shows Main Idea – Do you have a friend who does not mind telling you what’s wrong with you but never admits any of their mistakes, inadequacies, or sins?…
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Pre-forgiveness Is Essential Before You Can Genuinely Forgive
Have you ever granted forgiveness to someone who hurt you? Did you mean it? Did you really mean it? Or did you say, “I forgive you,” because it is the…
- Life Over Coffee
The Man Who Destroyed Our Home Wants Forgiveness
Biff destroyed his marriage. Shortly after that, he experienced conviction from God for what he did. His repentance was genuine, as affirmed by his pastor…
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The Friendship Series Choosing Relationships Wisely L7
Shows Main Idea – In this seventh lesson, Rick helps us understand the benefit of increasing our opportunities for godly relationships by choosing friends…
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Don't Apologize. Don't Say, "I'm Sorry."
In our culture today, the phrase “I’m sorry” has become our first response when we sin against each other. The term has nearly wholly replaced biblical…
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The Friendship Series Actions That Build Relationships L6
Shows Main Idea – In this sixth lesson, Rick talks about how we speak volumes through our attitudes, actions, and priorities. Learn wise actions and priorities…
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Mind Mapping: A Detailed Study in Self-reliance
Self-reliant people live in a self-constructed, self-sustained worship structure that diverts their faith in God to rely on themselves, hoping to engineer…
- Life Over Coffee
It's Easier to Trust God When You're in Control
It's easier to trust God when you're in control of things than when you're out of control and you're unsure what will happen next. Being in control provides…
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The Friendship Series Words That Build Relationships L5
Shows Main Idea – In this fifth lesson, Rick walks through how Scriptures teach us words that build up and forbid words that tear down. Knowing and practicing…
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God Is Incrementally and Purposely Putting You to Death
Dying to yourself is the hardest assignment God will ever give you. It is not a one-time altar call, not an emotional moment at a retreat, not a dramatic…
- Life Over Coffee
The Friendship Series Overcoming Mistrust and Hurt L4
Shows Main Idea – In this fourth lesson, Rick talks about how we have all been hurt and have hurt others. Therefore true repentance, forgiveness, and…
- Life Over Coffee
Eight Reasons Perfection Does Not Glorify God
Striving for self-generated perfection is as futile as attempting to save ourselves because it perpetuates internal turmoil and frustrates our closest friends…
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Lowering God's Standard to Be Perfect
If our aim is perfection, we have two options. We can strive to be perfect through our strengths or accept someone else’s perfection as ours. The first option…
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The Friendship Series Defining Godly Relationships L3
Shows Main Idea – In this third lesson, Rick makes a case that as described and demonstrated in Scripture, strong godly relationships provide the plan and…
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When Education Becomes Deadly to a Child
An unguarded strength is a double weakness because we rarely guard our strengths because we think of them as good, not realizing that our abilities can entrap…
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What Does It Mean to Boast In Your Weakness?
Boasting in your weakness is a strange juxtaposition of words. Typically, you don't connect boasting with weakness unless you mock someone about their…
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Friendship Series Trusting God's Word, L2
Shows Main Idea – In this second lesson, Rick discusses that the sufficiency of Scripture means we can trust God's commands regarding relationships, whether…
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Why Does God Call Us to Suffer?
The situational difficulties we face are the contexts that reveal our hearts, which is how God purifies our faith and obedience. These personal, relational…
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The Reason God Wants You to Be a Jar of Clay
A cracked jar of clay does not have to be a bad thing: if you know the potter. God prefers His creation to be fragile jars of clay, so He can display His…
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Friendship Series Knowing and Loving God, L1
Shows Main Idea – In this first lesson, Rick discusses how the Triune God is the foundation of all godly relationships. Loving and glorifying God necessarily…
Life Over CoffeeOne Essential Quality of an Effective Wife
One of the most critical questions a wife could ask herself is how she compares herself to her husband. Is she better, worse, or similar to her husband? How…
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Ep. 468 Typical Mistakes People Make to Feel Better
Shows Main Idea – There are five universal reactions to our mistakes. Four of them are wrong, and one is correct. As you think about what you do wrong, what is…
Life Over CoffeeSubmission Is Never the Main Problem in Marriage
When discussing submission problems in a marriage, we should equally scrutinize the submission and leadership constructs. It’s not an either/or proposition…
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Going Over Your Husband's Head to Help Him
It is common for someone to confuse their various roles within a hierarchal structure and their coequality with everyone within those structures. For example…
Life Over CoffeeEp. 467 Nancy Pearcey, The Toxic War on Masculinity
Shows Main Idea – Nancy Pearcey is the author of The Toxic War on Masculinity: How Christianity Reconciles the Sexes, as well as Love Thy Body, The Soul of…
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Practical Thoughts on Leading Your Husband
Every wife is equal to her husband, even though there is a call on her life to submit to him. These are not opposing truths but a biblically common sense…
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How a Wife Can Lead Her Husband
A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or a complicating liability. Most of us know this about our complementary roles in our marriages, but I wonder…
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Ep. 466 How Wives Motivate Husbands into Passivity
Shows Main Idea – Did you know a wife can unwittingly motivate her husband to continue in his passivity? Suppose she does not understand the dynamics of his…
Life Over CoffeeSeven Things to Know When Living with a Harsh Husband
Harshness is one of the most typical forms of anger, and the most common context for it is within a family construct, especially between a husband and wife…
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The Need to Forgive Even If You Don't Reconcile
Sometimes you can forgive someone for their sin against you and reconcile with them. It’s a beautiful picture of the power of the gospel. Other times you can…
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Ep. 465 What Does It Mean to Live a Gospel-centered Life?
Shows Main Idea – What does it mean to live a gospel-centered life? It’s a label and worldview that most Christians have heard. The gospel-centered life is…
- Life Over Coffee
The Power of Unforgiveness When Used As a Weapon
Sometimes in some relationships, a person will utilize unforgiveness as a tool for self-protection. They weaponize unforgiveness, even if they do so…
Life Over CoffeeMy Husband Is Immature. How May I Help Him Change?
A lady asked, “Would you be willing to write about living with an immature husband and how to respond to him biblically? I need help; I would much appreciate…
Life Over CoffeeSeven Tips for Living with an Imperfect Person
Imperfect people are a universal problem. Most of the time, we do not struggle with the quirks of our fallenness—until we start living with one of those…
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Ep. 464 A Better Response to PTSD and Other Triggering Events
Shows Main Idea – PTSD is the DSM’s way of describing a tragic event in someone’s life. Something awful happens, and you carry the weight of that thing for…
Life Over CoffeeSetting Aside Your Desires to Lead Your Husband
A wife can be a husband’s most significant asset or his greatest liability. Most of us know this because people who live with each other affect those in the…
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How Can I Be More Honest with My Spouse?
How honest can you be with your spouse? Is your marriage vulnerable, safe, and robust enough to communicate honestly? Are you free from critique and…
Life Over CoffeeEp. 463 Sermon- How Not To Harbor Hate Toward Someone
Shows Main Idea – Maybe somebody has hurt you. Perhaps you can make as strong a case against that person who hurt you as I did against my mean father…
Life Over CoffeeWhy Our Ministry is Different from Other Counseling Ministries
What makes Life Over Coffee different from other training organizations? Before moving on, will you “pause the tape” to answer my question? See how well you…
Life Over CoffeeA Unique Wife Helping a Unique Man Change
No book can help your unique husband to become a better husband like you can. Sure, there are a zillion books, and we have the Bible, too. But when it comes to…
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Introduction to Biblical Counseling, Lesson One
Welcome to our Introduction to Biblical Counseling training, a ten-part series. The goal is to teach you the practical aspects of being a biblical counselor. I…
- Life Over Coffee
The Power of the Critical Wife
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” The wisdom of Proverbs teaches how we will eat the fruit of our…
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The Necessity of the Double Dependent Wife
What is the consistent spiritual direction of your home? Who is leading the family in that direction? Who is following the leader of your home? There is only…
Life Over CoffeeEp. 461 How to Listen to Others Without Being Swayed By Them
Shows Main Idea – Listening to someone to understand them does not mean we have to accept their views or follow their perspectives. We listen to people to…
Life Over CoffeeFour Sequential Steps to Change Your Life
The Christian life is beautifully simple, yet profoundly deep. God has not hidden the path of transformation from His children, nor has He left us to stumble…
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If Your Friend Is Not Changing, Consider This
If you know someone who is not changing, do not despair. There is a way to help them. I'm not suggesting they will change even if you did everything perfectly…
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Ep. 460 Should I Bring a Baby Into Our Evil World
Shows Main Idea – Is bringing a baby into our evil world right? Where is the line between God’s sovereignty and personal responsibility? We live in a broken…
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Forcing Someone to Change Will Blow Up Your Relationship
Before you go any further, pause for a moment and take a small test of the heart. Think about the person you most want to see change. Picture them—their face…