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That's Absurd Please Elaborate
Seriously researched answers to absolutely ridiculous questions. New episodes every week.
Episodes
That's Absurd Please ElaborateI Can Read Your Mind… You're Thinking About Tiny Elephants?!
his week, Julian prunes the universe down to size: bonsai animals, bonsai humans, bonsai...uhm...did he just say bonsai HUMANS? Meanwhile, Trace tunes into the…
That's Absurd Please ElaborateThis Man Built a Fart Gun. Seriously. | feat. Lieven Scheire
This week, we and guest Lieven Scheire all ruminate about a new job: Fart Safety Officer. Meanwhile, Trace get’s SALTY thinking about what if the oceans…
That's Absurd Please ElaborateTanks vs Dragons?!
Julian rolls into yet another extremely nerdy community and fires rounds left and right. Meanwhile, Trace calls his mom to help answer a question from a kid…
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Sucking Blueberries to Space 'Til You're Blue in the Face
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, Julian’s got a blueberry question for you… Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee, it you are wise you'll listen to … this podcast?? What do…
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Reverse-Muscled Cat Prisoners
In this episode, Trace investigates whether your furry companion is cuddling you... or forging a trauma bond in exchange for treats. Meanwhile, in a shocking…
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Trying to Explain 'Left' to Aliens from our Itty Bitty Earth
In this rebroadcasted episode, Trace resets the solar system to observe what life would be like on a 2/3rds-sized "Wee Earth." Julian, meanwhile, uses particle…
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Keeping aBREAST of Our Wild Dreams | feat. Deboki Chakravarti
In this episode Trace takes way, way too long to explain that dreams are pretty darn short. Meanwhile, friend of the absurd, Deboki Chakravarti squeezes every…
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SHAAAAAAAARRRRKKKKS | Feat. Jaida Elcock
It's the most wonderful time of the year! When the fish in the water make the kids scream and holler and panic with fear! That's right, it's Shark Time. You…
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H2Oooooh myyyyyyy!
In this strange episode Trace obsesses over the wild water system stretching across North America, and Julian contemplates indoor clouds and ACTUALLY ANSWERS…
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DINOSAURS!! (We didn't stop to think if we should, oops)
This week we try something a little different — the ⚡️THUNDER ROUND ⚡️ as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park Uno, “Your [science nerds] were so preoccupied…
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Soaring to the Sweater-Powered Ozone Layer With Our Pinkies OUT
Setting: Dry, warm evening in a small pub in Los Angeles. Deputy Julian: "Whew-whee! What's that smell?!" Detective Kyle (with a light drawl): "That's ozone…
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How a Color Could Make You Faster and a Humidifier Could Make Your House Bigger
Trace WOOD really like you to know that Dr Sam Zelinka from the Forest Products Lab is really SWELL, and he is KNOT KIDDING (I’m out of puns). Also, Julian…
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Kiss a Boo-Boo and Drug a Dog
When I was a kid, I ran around a corner and a tree branch went right into my eye. Luckily, my mom kissed it and made it all better… or… was it my brain that…
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LIVE SHOW : Tunnels of Allergic Plants and Blinding Fireflies | feat. Naila Moriera
This is our first LIVE SHOW ever!! We were invited to perform the podcast live at Smith College in Massachusetts and people actually came! Thanks for all your…
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Massacring Mosquitoes with a Billion Bananas - An Episode Specifically for Hannah
Bananas are positively aching to murder you. They’re radioactive, they’re clones, they’re slippery, they’re filled with potassium (which explodes when it hits…
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Chatty Planties Under Twin Suns | feat Maren Hunsberger
Turns out plants are absolute CHATTERBOXES! They talk so much that they make Julian look like a silent partner (he’s not). Instead, he uses a silly German…
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Americas? Gone. Half the Population? Gone! My Keys?... Uh Oh.
Let’s just wait a minute while everyone logs on… just a miiiiinnuuuuute, OK do we? I think… Yes, we have everyone! Welcome y’all to our weekly corporate…
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"I Flick My Space Boogers at You" - the Sun, Probably
Ever notice that our fingers seem to fit perfectly in our nostrils? Is... is that supposed to be like that? Our Patreon subscribers picked this little gem so…
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TAPE Classic | Rump-Shaking Dyslexic Shrimp | feat. Dr Virginia Schutte
Hi All! Trace and Julian are taking a bit of a break this week but fear not, we still have some content for you! This is one of our favorite old episodes where…
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Internally Screaming Until Leap Year
This episode Julian tries to think of an even better calendar (too bad "Julian Calendar" was already taken) and Trace thinks a thought so hard his head hurts…
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Belting Fly Brains and Melting Gold with Rain
Let’s get ready to RUMMMMMMMBBBLLLEEE!! In this corner, we have a normal human who is definitely not a psychopath, and in the opposite corner we have… a fly…
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Going Full Goron on the Himalayas
Tonight our chefs have prepared an all-natural pasture-raised and pristine ivory-hued plutonic entree, slow-cooked under rich, Indian-spiced tectonic…
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Forever and a Hair
In this episode, we learn Julian used to wear fedoras. He says, it’s been forever and a day, but I’m going to wait a Planck beard-second to see if that bears…
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Terminal Thoughts
Ever get caught in a light drizzle and think, "Ah, this is nice"? WELL WHAT IF IT WAS ACTUALLY HORRIFYING??? Julian explores the several ways air resistance…
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Headaches Wheelie Hurt (I'm Sorry)
Wheel wheel wheel … this episode definitely gave us both a headache. I swear we’re not going to conquer every silly meme from your group text (or maybe we…
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My Broccoli Dog Ate My English Homework | Feat. MJ Wu
This episode Trace tears into the age-old question, “What color should your English notebook be?” Special guest MJ Wu from the podcast Everything is Public…
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Honey, I shrunk the the… OjkdfiAGH!!
If you were shrunk REALLY ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᵣₑₐₗₗᵧ ₛₘₐₗₗ … would we be able to live? Did the documentary “Honey, I shrunk the kids” LIE to us?! Julian grabs his…
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Red Sky at Night Batman’s Delight! | feat. Yasmin Khan
Easter is around the corner, but where does that weird Bunny get all the eggs? And why are there eggs in the first place? Guest Yasmin Khan (The Young Turks)…
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Outweigh. Outshine. Outlast.
Can the sun be beaten at its own game… OF BEING A SUN?! Julian shines some light on it. Meanwhile, as he spends time on the science of the extremely large…
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Rounding Up 1+1
Happy love celebration week!! In honor of how much we LOVE our patreon subscribers, Trace and Julian answer two winners of our Patreon polls! It takes two 🎶 to…
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Where'd You Get the Coconut? The Replicator!?
Space, the final frontier — of cuisine. This week Trace unpacks the standard food replicator used by the United Federation of Planets. Meanwhile, in Scene 34…
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AI Chefs and Unqualified Sled Dogs
This episode Julian gears up for the last great race with an irresponsible amount of chihuahuas while Trace finds a use for AI that it might actually be suited…
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Oops All the Drugs
Hey man, like, if you took all the drugs … like, all of them. What would happen? Would you die? I mean, like, that’s just your opinion, man. But aside from…
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Inexplicable Spider-Man Episode
For some reason Julian and Trace both selected Spider-Man related questions. We felt like two Tobey Maguires dancing down the street in perfect sync. Julian…
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2024's Stickiest Questions | feat. Producer Kyle
In this special end-of-year episode we pull Kyle out of his editing hole and the three of us talk through some of your best questions of the year! Thank you…
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Oh No. Our Chicken is Cooked
Happy holidays! This episode is… weird. Now, normally, we have systems in place to prevent this problem from happening. Somehow we failed. I swear this all…
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Hot Hot DNA
There's a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, "sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it feels like a minute; sit on a hot stove for a minute and it feels…
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High-Level Poop Talk and Deadly Temporal Fantasies
This week, Trace delves into some temporal fantasies, like: why people think if they could travel into the past they’d become lords and queens, and not serfs…
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Poke the Moon and Land Amongst the Clocks
If you made a video call to someone on the other end of a very, very, very long stick would it be possible to poke them with the stick before the video showed…
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Ali Mattu and the Missing Moon | Thanksgiving Rerun!
Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans! Super-belated one for those Canadians too, eh! And, for the rest-of-the-world… Happy Thursday! To give ourselves a little…
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Frictionless Ultrasonic Banger
Friction! It’s what makes the world go rou— No, wait. That’s not it. Friction. It’s what keeps the world from spinning off into spaa—- That’s not it either…
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Surviving Urban Volcanoes Through Cuteness and Butt Hearing | Feat. Dr. Joe Hanson
This episode Julian attempts to make jokes but only hears crickets, Trace turns LA into a flaming dumpster fire and nobody notices, and special guest Dr. Joe…
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We Ship Acid-Spitting Humans
Fun fact: the dinosaur in Jurassic Park that spit acid on Nedry doesn’t exist! I mean, Dilophosaurus does, but it was probably a scavenger, not an evil piñata…
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Snail-zillas Disrupting the Tooth Commodity Market | Halloween Spooktacular II
Happy Halloween, absurd friends! This time around Julian comes out of his shell to calculate the speed of a Kaiju snail (so much mucus 🤢). Meanwhile, Trace…
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Double Jump Over This Human Meatball
It's spoOOooOoky season! This week we're scaring you with a giant pasta topping! 👻 Not scared? What if I told you it's a meatball made of EVERY HUMAN? Oh, did…
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Immortal Squirrels Slain By Salad
In this wild episode, Julian infects your brain with the realization that plants can be VERY murdery, and Trace is driven NUTS looking for an elusive immortal…
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The Inescapable Sadness of the Kool-Aid Man | feat. Dr Rohin Francis of Medlife Crisis
This episode Trace tries to find the secret to happiness and special guest host Dr Rohin Francis swaps out blood for something with a tangy, fruity kick. Oh…
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A Ghostly Fireworky Glow Up | feat. Ceri Riley of SciShow Tangents
We haven’t seen this many fireworks since the Rockefeller Center did that spectacularly wild “Salute to Fireworks” back in 2007. This time around, guest-host…
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The "Creative" Engineering of Star Wars Blasters
This is the episode you're looking for. This week Trace gets creative with an answer about unponderable ponderances, and Julian goes pew pew a lot with a…
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Is Lava Wet?! | feat Dr Alex Dainis
Get your moisture sensors ready. In this episode Dr Alex Dainis slides into the scientific journals all about lubrication to understand the slip-factor of…
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The Poor Goaile is… Everywhere | feat. Tom Scott
You’re at a hockey game. You grabbed nachos and your favorite sports beverage. The Mighty Ducks are playing their rivals, and you look away from the ice to…
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Deep Conversations With Whales
A rogue viking pirate planet hurtles through space looking for plunder and booty. The human race has become a destitute vampiric race obsessed with ancient sea…
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Freaky Mermaids, "REAL" Dragons, and Trace's Evil Twin| feat Ellen Weatherford (Just the Zoo of Us)
Description 🎶 Game of Thrones theme 🎶 DRA-GONS. WHAT ARE DRAG-ONS? LET US KNOWWWWWW OR MER-MAIDS. FRICKIN’ MER-MAIDS… HOW THEY GOOOOO? PLUS JUUUU-LIAN WANTS TO…
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Exploding Three Ways (Yikes)
Welcome to episode 48. Are you allergic to cats? When you visit friends does their cat seem to know (somehow) and roll up on you even though you’re ignoring…
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Volcanos. Tornadoes. Nuclear Waste… This is Fine.
For this episode Julian and Trace tackled the very uplifting and shiny topics of tornados and nuclear waste. No worries y’all! Everything here is so great!…
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Two Butts. No Bones. Thriving. | Feat. Ben Bowlin
In episode 45 Julian deconstructs the human experience without our boney scaffold, Trace calculates the detriment (or delight?) of doubling the derriere, and…
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Photosynthetic Nudists and Solving Problems with Copious Amounts of Seawater
Trace returns to find out if humans could take the green stuff from plants and make enough energy to live. meanwhile, Julian tries to understand if a wild idea…
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Radioactive Bunnies & Infinite-Sided Dice | feat. Nora Bailey
This week astrophysicist Dr Nora Bailey joins Julian roll a set of huge, spherical dice on the future of irradiated bunnies in mech suits. Yes this is a real…
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Hiccuping Chickens & Wheeled Wildlife | feat. Sophie Shrand
This week’s guest host *hic* Sophie Shrand *hic* explores the silly spasm of *hic* hiccuping. Meanwhile, Julian attempts to understand why evolution didn’t…
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Either You Iocaine or You 1-0-can’t
In this episode, it's a battle of (nit)wits! Trace discovers the deadly truth about poison immunity while Julian figures out how to make the worst numbering…