Shows / Middle of Chaos™
Middle of Chaos™
A Story of Survival and Strength Growing up as a middle child in a large, deeply religious household, I learned to survive in the space between, unseen, unheard, and absorbing more than my share of chaos. THIS is a personal storytelling podcast about childhood trauma, family dynamics, faith, resilience, and reclaiming a voice that was never meant to stay quiet. I was a textbook middle child, the observer and peacemaker , and also the one who asked questions, talked too much. Through honest…
Episodes
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 25: SPECIAL – Two Sisters, Two Perspectives (Part 1)
For the first time on Middle of Chaos, I'm joined by a very special guest—my sister, Esther! We grew up in the same household, shared many of the same…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 24: Summers by the Ocean
Some of my happiest childhood memories happened during the summers I spent with my grandparents by the ocean. In this episode, I go back to those…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 23: When the Pieces Started Connecting
A conversation with my sibling brought up emotions and realizations I wasn't expecting. In this episode, I reflect on feeling heard and believed, the fears I…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 22: The Road to Somewhere New (part 2)
The road trip continues, and this time you're riding along with me through a little bit of everything. I share an update on becoming a Clarity Breathwork…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 21: Finding Faith, Losing Myself
This episode is a little different—you’re coming along with me on a road trip across the country. As the miles pass, I look back at a time when I was ready to…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 20: Finding My Place
After high school, I thought I knew exactly where life was headed. Instead, I found myself juggling college, multiple jobs, searching for a church where I…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 19: Police, Tickets, and a Motorcycle Burn
A listener's question about one of my teenage adventures sent me down memory lane. In this episode, I share stories involving unexpected visits from the…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 18: The Dad I Hardly Knew
It's been a while since I've talked about my dad, mostly because there never seemed to be much to say. In this episode, I share the memories I do have—from…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 17: Leaving Home Didn't Mean Leaving the Chaos
My senior year was different. For a while, it actually felt like my mom and I were getting along. But that didn't mean life suddenly became easy. In this…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 16: The Childhood I Thought Was Normal
It's been a little while since my last episode, so thank you for sticking with me. I'm glad you're here. Between traveling abroad and getting back into the…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 15: Looking for Love in the Wrong Places
In this episode, I continue talking about how my childhood trauma affected my relationships as a young adult and into adulthood. I share the story of my first…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 14: Life Keeps Happening
Sometimes life does not slow down long enough for us to catch our breath. This week brought grief, unexpected travel, studying abroad, moving preparations…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 13: What I Thought Love Was… Back Then
In this episode, I talk about my teenage years and early relationships, and what I thought love was at the time. I share personal experiences where I allowed…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 12: Quick Update — How What I Went Through Shaped My Understanding of Love
Hello Friends, This episode is a little different, but still really important. I did record a full Episode 12, but I’ve been having trouble opening the…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 11: Learning to Use My Voice When I Never Did.
In this episode, I share more about my childhood and go deeper into parts of my story I first touched on earlier in the podcast. There were things I didn’t…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 10: When We Moved Away — What Changed
In this episode, I share what life was like after we moved out of my grandparents’ house and into a very different environment. From growing up in a rural area…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 9: Holidays, Birthdays, and the Moments That Stayed With Me
In this episode, I share what holidays and birthdays looked like growing up — from celebrating with my grandparents to the changes that came when we moved…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 8: From Surviving to Living
After sharing my story, I wanted to talk about what stayed with me — and what has started to change. In this episode, I reflect on how my upbringing shaped me…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 7: Growing Up Religious: School, Survival & Finding My Voice (Part 2)
In Part 2 of this story, I talk about what learning looked like growing up in my household — from homeschooling and being punished for mistakes, to discovering…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 6: Growing Up Religious: Fear & Survival (Part 1)
In this episode, I talk about growing up in a very religious environment, the beliefs that shaped my childhood, and how faith was often connected to fear. I…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 5: Why This Podcast Had to Exist | The Story Behind Middle of Chaos
This episode explains why Middle of Chaos exists and the moment I realized I could no longer stay silent about my own experiences. This episode goes deeper…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 4: The Beginning of the Trauma
This episode marks a turning point. I respond to a listener email and open up about the first time I was picked on and when trauma began to take shape in my…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 3: Moving to the Next State — 12 People, One House
In this episode, we move into a new chapter — literally. I share what it was like moving in with my grandparents, living with twelve people under one roof, and…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 2: In the Beginning
This episode goes back to the very beginning. I share where I was born, the places I lived, and the early memories that shaped my childhood — including how I…
- Middle of Chaos™
Episode 1: Welcome to the Middle of Chaos
This first episode introduces Middle of Chaos — the space, the tone, and what you can expect. I share what it means to grow up as a textbook middle child in a…