Shows / Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible
A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits. Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.
Episodes
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: My Unorthodox Asshole
Jackie discusses some aesthetic revisions she would like to make in 2022, discovers her husband's childhood attempts at poetry and goes over some celebrity…
- Bitch Bible
Por Qué
Jackie makes a strong case for mother of the year with her Valentine’s Day dedication to Clyde and his grown up vocabulary, explains to Andrew what a landscape…
- Bitch Bible
No Curation
Jackie has been struck by divine inspiration for her backyard renovation and talks about her grand welcome to the stone yard, Clyde’s night in Abu Ghraib, and…
- Bitch Bible
Linear Lantern Energy
Jackie continues to persevere through facial paralysis to bring you a recap of the Grammys and Clyde’s visit to urgent care, while also taking a moment to rip…
- Bitch Bible
Mommy's a Bitch!
Jackie is back from the clinic with 110 units of youthful rejuvenation and fighting through facial paralysis to discuss Little Ricki’s baby, Taylor Swift’s…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Isn't She Lovely!
Jackie desperately tries to eradicate her previously questionable behavior by giving the world a wholesome (not really), informative (kinda) and intellectual…
- Bitch Bible
lol sorry
Jackie exposes her plastic surgery journey in the most embarrassing way possible, dissects the “2016” trend and reminisces and details her most recent…
- Bitch Bible
Name the Puppy
Jackie is sticking with her New Years resolution and sets the financial record straight, does a deep dive into Ashley Tisdale’s toxic mom group, and explains…
- Bitch Bible
Perfectly Puffy
Jackie is back and resolves to be bitchier than ever in 2026, laments the derth of proper entertainment, and recaps her first holiday off in years that…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: New Year, Same Bitch
Jackie greets 2019 with the same morally flexibility of years prior. She breaks down the post holiday blues, her friendship with Taylor Swift, the Golden…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Holiday Classics: Hoe Hoe Hoe with Heather McMahan
Jackie chats with good friend Heather McMahan to purge their souls pre-Holiday festivities and find eternal optimism in unlikely places. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: The B*tch That Stole Christmas
Jackie celebrates Chrismukkah early by spreading joy (not) on all things festive and annoying. From targeting innocent civilians, berating Bachelor contestants…
- Bitch Bible
Ratatouille
Jackie gives an update on Rat Search 2025, gives Diddy the dressing down he deserves, and critiques Bethenny Frankel’s home decor. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bitch Bible
From Paris, With Acid Reflúx
Jackie is back stateside and recaps her trip to Paris with Heather McMahan, puts on the performance of a lifetime in an attempt to get a leather appointment at…
- Bitch Bible
Yelping
Jackie has changed her Yelping ways and writes not one, but two powerful, glowing reviews for a local oyster bar, reviews Wicked for Good, and goes cold turkey…
- Bitch Bible
The Progressive Parisian Princess
Jackie counts down the days to her Paris trip, beams with pride at Clyde’s love of schadenfreude, and gives thanks for hoes in multiple area codes. See Privacy…
- Bitch Bible
A Tinned Fish Bish
Jackie takes a well earned deep breath following the completion of the Dim the Lights tour, rails against the glorification of tinned fish, and advises against…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Yo Soy Loco
Jackie announces some exciting news (don't worry, she is not pregnant) drops some spicy marital advice and tackles religion (why?). See Privacy Policy at…
- Bitch Bible
Bush Concert
Jackie recounts the inappropriate attire at the Sabrina Carpenter show in Nashville, plans a second heist at the Louvre, and extols the benefits of her…
- Bitch Bible
Low Glam with Amanda McCants
Jackie is joined by Amanda McCants to discuss being late, Westlake mom’s, Amanda’s recent breakup, and everything on her hate list. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bitch Bible
Drops of Stupider
Jackie is back from her San Fransisco redemption show, and discusses the perfect soundtrack for a plane crash, takes family photos before Andrew loses his…
- Bitch Bible
WWHKD, Baby
Jackie’s back with new extensions and shoulder pads to discuss fostering a child at the park for 8 minutes, clarify that she is not a rat with a mic, and point…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Apologies In Advance
Jackie recounts her recent social encounters, pays homage to her favorite celebrities and alienates 96% of her listeners. See Privacy Policy at…
- Bitch Bible
Dissipitation
Jackie discusses her recent staycation and the benefits of sympathy upgrades, her thoughts on The Life of a Showgirl, and the heavy burden of being deeply…
- Bitch Bible
Bleak Lively (feat. Chunky Lowlights)
Jackie is joined by the incredible Michelle Collins to discuss, fixing and being fixed in relationships, bringing back bullying and shame, and why the…
- Bitch Bible
Pusillanimous
Alone in the trenches of her home this week, Jackie discusses how some people need to be punched to get some grit, names the greatest trait in a house wife…
- Bitch Bible
You Never Know When It’s Time to Demo
Jackie is feeling loose after a couple drinks, and plans a bathroom renovation, laments the clothes that got away, and previews Off Brand October. See Privacy…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: A Woman Unhinged
Jackie is back from Australia, jet-lagged and bitchier than ever. She recounts her unlucky flying history, Real Housewives and why Bermuda shorts are for…
- Bitch Bible
Uprooted
Jackie loses sleep over Amy Bradley, gets into a fight with a girl from high school, and recalls how much simpler the early 2000’s were. And of course Melissa…
- Bitch Bible
Munchausen By Proxy
Jackie recounts a beautiful experience with Clyde feeling unwell, books a flight for Paris, and explains the Princess Treatment, Red Nail Theory, and Soft…
- Bitch Bible
The Summer I Turned Petty
Jackie recaps the sick game Belly is playing in The Summer I Turned Pretty, discusses Clyde’s aspirations to be the next Mikhail Baryshnikov, elaborates on the…
- Bitch Bible
With Hate, John Hill
Jackie sits down with living sculpture John Hill to discuss his sobriety, the most trouble he’s ever been in for something he said on the radio, a shared love…
- Bitch Bible
A Bitch Bible Extravaganza Birthday Celebration for the Masses
It's Jacqueline Taylor Schimmel-Haas' birthday, and she's been preparing for months her 2025 list of things she hates - some are broad, some are niche, but all…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Wanderlust, Sparkles and Braille Buttholes
Jackie gets her sphincter lasered, creates a fake Instagram for her husband, and has the harsh realization that she may never see Cheryl again. See Privacy…
- Bitch Bible
The Lion Portal is Open
Jackie deals with a biohazard event with her drunken sorority sister Clyde, chastises the internet for its mediocrity and lack of intelligence, and does a very…
- Bitch Bible
Going Clear
Jackie suspects she has been bugged by Scientology after her live show in Clearwater, discusses the real problem with Madi Prewett’s husband, and the traumatic…
- Bitch Bible
Urine on the Dance Floor
How much does Jackie hate the beach? Let her count the ways… Jackie suggests JoJo Siwa is in desperate need of a transformational, spiritual journey to make up…
- Bitch Bible
Instant Showmanship
Jackie recaps the first leg of her Dim the Lights tour, discovers that she is brave and vulnerable, and introduces Clyde to the bright lights of show business…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Me Against The Music
Jackie deals with her Grammy nomination snub, why some funerals feel like low budge Coachella and delights with some new poetry she penned after a few…
- Bitch Bible
Recreationally Crazy
Jackie is joined by Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon to discuss Chat GPT's lies, waxing mishaps, and Adam's obsession with collecting stone fruit, crystals…
- Bitch Bible
The Pickling Princess
Jackie takes up pickling, shoots up at a child’s birthday party in the park, and goes over her tour packing-list that will almost certainly get Josh searched…
- Bitch Bible
Pop Culture News with Jackie
Jackie mourns the death of quiet luxury, heralded by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s childhood-trampoline-park-Chuck-E-Cheese style wedding invitations, grey…
- Bitch Bible
Deep and Niche
Jackie recounts a harrowing experience trying to buy candle pillars for grandma Gloria, has a religious experience with a pink canvas Bottega jacket, and…
- Bitch Bible
Dead Jackie
Jackie addresses some public scrutiny from a recent radio appearance, discusses what Labubu represents, talks shit on Andrew for party mix, and reveals her…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classic: She's Back
Jackie makes her highly anticipated (not really) return and attempts to breeze into 2018 with the finesse of a young Grace Kelly. Until she is confronted with…
- Bitch Bible
Erase/Rewind
Jackie is solo parenting this week and explains why Andrew's use of the words "Cozy" and "Chilly" is grounds for divorce. She also gives the single best piece…
- Bitch Bible
The Reverse Bethenny
Jackie advises JLo and Sydney Sweeney to approach life from a place of 'no', gives her opinion on personalized license plates and Disney adults, and answers…
- Bitch Bible
Tradgiki Tzatziki
Jackie discusses bearing the burden of other people's stupidity, her new obsession with Dianna Agron's longing for a simple life with früt, and plans her…
- Bitch Bible
Eating Is Cheating
Jackie discusses her pre-menstrual cycle dreams, announces her (presumably) Sundance and Cannes award-winning live show, and gives updates on the Diddy and…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Bitching in Hell
Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell…
- Bitch Bible
Rental Kelly
Jackie sits down with Stassi Schroeder to discuss Vanderpump Villa, their purple and yellow auras, Parseltongue, and the foundational principals and texture…
- Bitch Bible
Mercury Rising
Jackie reveals a recent medical diagnosis, discusses her influencer weekend in Cabo, and plans a tripych for her gallery wall of shame. Thanks for supporting…
- Bitch Bible
Nebbiolo Tits
Jackie and Tinx go on their second podcast date and talk Stagecoach, Jackie’s brand trip rebellion, and Tinx’s sparkly new book, “Hotter in the Hamptons.”…
- Bitch Bible
No Doute About It
Jackie sits down with Kristen Doute, the undisputed star of The Valley, to discuss how the cast has changed, her daughter's nursery decor, and busking…
- Bitch Bible
Bitch Bible Classics: Sister Act!
Jackie is joined by her sister to reminisce on problematic child behavior, Alex McCord and a bunch of other shit Jackie can't remember because she doesn't use…
- Bitch Bible
Living on a Main Road
Jackie gets an NAD+ injection and discovers the connection between hair extensions and brain worms. Thanks for supporting my sponsors! GDEFY: Use the code…
- Bitch Bible
Triple Axel, Untouched
Jackie hurls a fellatory insult at a woman standing in her parking spot, has a romantic encounter with her Uber driver, and reveals her idea for a shit talking…
- Bitch Bible
Right On Time
Jackie celebrates the glory of Kate Hudson, discusses side hustles and the perfect Deluxe Martini recipe, and writes Clyde a beautifully poignant email. Thanks…
- Bitch Bible
Jacqueline of Indian Wells
Jackie was feeling joyous and effervescent this weekend when she recorded a banger of an episode, but due to computer issues that episode is gone forever, and…
- Bitch Bible
Fiscal & Feisty
Jackie is joined by the one and only Max Bronner to discuss living in a deficit, Trader Joe's Tomato Leaf candles, and Jackie's trauma dump. Thanks for…