Shows / A Life, Folded
A Life, Folded
Contact Lainey at: Laineycathan@gmail.com A Life, Folded is available in eBook, paperback, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Audible: https://bit.ly/4bFAtXM
Welcome to a space of safety, acceptance, and understanding. Where we frankly and bravely dialogue about the harmful effects of pornography addiction, betrayal trauma, and narcissistic emotional abuse. We’ll explore reclaiming your core self by more thoroughly understanding these heartbreakingly complex interpersonal…
Episodes
- A Life, Folded
96: Roles in Dysfunctional Families
Lost child? Enabler? Clown? Golden child? Hero? These are all roles that children can be cast into in dysfunctional, abusive, narcissistic, or addictive family…
- A Life, Folded
95: The Power of Transformation
Is it possible to transform, to be whole again, after discovering your intimate partner is using porn or you have suffered through betrayal trauma? Absolutely…
- A Life, Folded
94: Do Narcissists Get Caught on Purpose?
Is it possible that narcissists, the masters of lying, duplicity, and secrecy, might try to get caught in their despicable behavior on purpose? It is, and here…
- A Life, Folded
93: Common Trauma Responses
Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn. Flop. These are all highly common trauma responses. Experiencing these responses is normal. It's your brain's way of dealing with…
- A Life, Folded
92: Compassion for the Narcissist?
My therapist asked me a question once that rocked my world: do you think you can ever have compassion for your narcissistic ex-husband? I laughed. But she was…
- A Life, Folded
91: Pray for the One Who Stays
A Life, Folded is now available in paperback, ebook, and audiobook. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H668HWB4 Audible: https://bit.ly/4bFAtXM It's difficult being…
- A Life, Folded
90: The Profound Sorrow of Divorce
Even years after your divorce and healing, there is still profound sorrow. And that is okay. That is normal. When you have a beautiful, loving soul, you feel…
- A Life, Folded
89: Zero Bullcrap Meter
Sometimes lifelong people-pleasers and those who give without boundaries simply snap. They realize that their blanket giving is not being returned. Their meter…
- A Life, Folded
88: Relentlessly Pursue your Happiness
"I'll be so happy when the baby is finally out of diapers." "When I get that big promotion, my life will be awesome!" "I know that if I can just find a partner…
- A Life, Folded
87: Thrive after the Narcissistic Discard
Is it really possible to heal and then thrive after you have been emotionally destroyed through the narcissistic discard at the hands of someone you deeply…
- A Life, Folded
86: Sexual Coercion and Porn
Sexual coercion is often described like this quote taken from the National Domestic Violence Hotline: "Have you ever felt pressured by your partner to have…
- A Life, Folded
85: Narcissists vs. Avoidant Attachment
Being deeply wounded by unhealthy and toxic individuals can cast a shadow over our entire lives and damage our self-worth. Do we keep allowing cluster b…
- A Life, Folded
84: You Hang in There!
As we navigate life after experiencing betrayal trauma or post-divorce, we find many who share similar experiences. Being deeply hurt by a person they loved…
- A Life, Folded
83: How Narcissists Manipulate Others' Opinions of Them
Narcissists are master manipulators of everyone and everything. Of their family. Of their workplace. Of their congregation. But, they are especially concerned…
- A Life, Folded
82: Does Betrayal Effect IQ?
After suffering through betrayal trauma, you might experience severe brain fog, an inability to remember, trouble making even basic decisions, lack of focus…
- A Life, Folded
81: Narcissists Weaponize Children
An unhealthy parents vehemently fights to gain custody of children they don't want to take care of. A parent drains resources to bribe a child's loyalty…
- A Life, Folded
80: Dangers of Victimhood
BIG NEWS! A Life, Folded will be published in paperback, audiobook, and e-book on Tuesday, September 8, 2026. The pre-order for the Kindle book is open on…
- A Life, Folded
79: What if...?
When you are suffering through betrayal trauma, narcissistic abuse, or the end of your relationship, it is easy to start catastrophizing both your present and…
- A Life, Folded
78: The Narcissist will do Literally Anything to Engage You
Why does your narcissistic ex-partner, alienated friend or family member reach out to you at random times? Why do they keep reappearing in your life, in…
- A Life, Folded
77: When Abuse Starts to Feel Normal
After years and decades of living with emotionally abusive partners, the insidious mistreatment begins to feel like a normal part of everyday life. It is often…
- A Life, Folded
76: Why Betrayal Trauma Physically Hurts
After people have experienced betrayal trauma, you oftwn hear them say things like, "Everything inside me shattered when I found out." Or, "I felt like I got…
- A Life, Folded
75: No More Blame Game
One common trait of both narcissists and addicts is they often play the blame game, shifting their bad behavior off onto others. Especially when emotional…
- A Life, Folded
74: Staying in Your Own Recovery Lane
For many of us, a bulk of our adult lives have been focused on managing an addicted or narcissistic partner. When we decide we wish to work toward personal…
- A Life, Folded
73: How the Narcissist "Serves"
Have you ever been on the receiving end of something where the giver insists they are serving you, yet, it’s impossible to feel grateful because it isn’t…
- A Life, Folded
72: What Porn is Doing to Your Body, Mind, and Soul
Porn is not a harmless pastime. It chips away at relationships. It damages intimacy. It destroys trust. This episode discusses what is happening in the porn…
- A Life, Folded
71: Why Narcissists Leave When You Get Sick
We all have natural expectations with committed relationships--that our spouse or partner will be there for us during difficult times. After all, don't we…
- A Life, Folded
70: The Gratitude Trap
Have you ever had someone respond to your troubles with something like, "Well, I choose to focus on gratitude and what I do have versus what I don't." Ouch!…
- A Life, Folded
69: Target-Love Bomb-Devalue-Discard
There is a somewhat predicable pattern that narcissists use when securing their next source of supply or fuel. Or, when keeping their current supply at the…
- A Life, Folded
68: The Importance of Empathy
When you hear of someone struggling, do you want to jump in and help? Solve the problem? Or tell them how you know exactly how they feel? Well…
- A Life, Folded
67: The Pure Selfishness of Porn
Research consistently shows that porn consumption is associated with poorer relationship quality and sexual dissatisfaction. The idea that porn is a personal…
- A Life, Folded
66: The Aging Narcissist
Most of us think of the aging process as a mellowing season. Many of us wish that the narcissists in our lives with also mellow with age. Unfortunately…
- A Life, Folded
65: Major Self-Care Win!
Are you a fierce champion of others? Are you always at the ready to defend the underdog? Have you noticed, though, that you often struggle with these type of…
- A Life, Folded
64: Earning Love
For many of us, growing up with problematic family dynamics or being partnered with emotionally abusive individuals has caused us to become people pleasers…
- A Life, Folded
63: Survivor's Guilt After Betrayal
Have you ever felt horrible about taking care of yourself? For removing yourself from toxic situations, which may have ramifications elsewhere, such as with…
- A Life, Folded
62: Can People Really Change?
One of the most common questions I hear is: How will I know if my partner has changed? Can people really change? The answer, of course, is yes...with an…
- A Life, Folded
61: What is Your Unique Purpose?
After being betrayed, abused by a narcissist, or suffering through the devastating realization of your partner's pornography use, you may feel broken. That you…
- A Life, Folded
60: It's Not Fair
There is nothing fair about the fallout of going through betrayal trauma, being cheated on and manipulated, and being forced to pick up your life after it has…
- A Life, Folded
59: Betrayal Trauma Symptoms
When you experience betrayal trauma in your life, it often causes resultant symptoms that can mirror PTSD. There are common behavioral, emotional, and even…
- A Life, Folded
58: Why the Narcissist Hates You
Once you start to understand, heal, grow, exert boundaries, and improve yourself in any way, you will encounter the ire of the narcissists in your life…
- A Life, Folded
57: Emotional Affairs are Cheating
People often rationalize emotional affairs as harmless because they are "just emotional." But, the opposite is true. Emotional affairs are cheating. Emotional…
- A Life, Folded
56: Beautiful, Small Acts of Service
A small act of service on a difficult day changed the trajectory of my life and how I viewed everything moving forward. As we are navigating the excruciating…
- A Life, Folded
55: Survival Mode after Betrayal Trauma
When navigating the pain and uncertainty of betrayal trauma, it is not at all uncommon to have your body and nervous system go into survival mode. Everything…
- A Life, Folded
54: When You Tire of Being a Doormat
Perhaps as you go about making your new year's goals and undertaking a self-audit of your relationships, you have come to a disconcerting realization: that you…
- A Life, Folded
53: Why Do Narcissists Ruin Your Sleep
After learning that I was married to a narcissist, I began doing a lot of research to learn and make sense of my life. I was so surprised to read that one…
- A Life, Folded
52: Depression After Betrayal Trauma
Have you suffered issues with depression after being betrayed by your intimate partner? If you have, please know that this is an extremely normal reaction to…
- A Life, Folded
51: Changing Your Body Will NOT Stop His Porn Use
His porn use must have something to do with you, right? If you looked more like a porn star, had the surgical enhancements they have, he'd stop, right? You can…
- A Life, Folded
50: Am I Being Manipulated?
How can we discern if behaviors in our relationship are simply troubling or moving into an area where undue influence is being exerted? The concern with…
- A Life, Folded
49: Hoovering
Hoovering is a common tactic used by cluster b personality disordered individuals to suck their sources of supply back in to their cycle of abuse and drama…
- A Life, Folded
48: Porn Kills Self-Esteem--Both the Partner AND the User
It is common to hear things such as: porn hurts no one! It's a harmless past time! It protects me and actually keeps me from cheating. Nonsense. If individuals…
- A Life, Folded
47: Narcissist's Flying Monkeys
Why would people who have been your friends, neighbors, or even family members suddenly start to vilify and lie about you? Well, if you are removing yourself…
- A Life, Folded
46: What Makes You Attractive
What if what makes you the most attractive to others is when you are living your authentic life, healing, discovering yourself, and not inhabiting a space…
- A Life, Folded
45: Why Do Narcissists Drive Like Maniacs?
After doing a lot of research, I learned that one common complaint about narcissists is their unsafe and erratic driving patterns. Why do so many narcissists…
- A Life, Folded
44: The Joys of Being Single
This podcast often delves into painful subjects about abuse and betrayal and the resultant loss of dreams, loneliness, and the shattering effects from the…
- A Life, Folded
43: You Need No More Reasons to Leave
When you have made the painful decision to divorce, it is sometimes easy to fall into the trap of thinking that you need to catch them just one more time in…
- A Life, Folded
42: Divorcing a Narcissist
When you decide it is time to divorce your narcissistic spouse, prepare for the battle of your life. Yes, the narcissist is going to make it nasty and…
- A Life, Folded
41: The Narcissist's Financial Shenanigans
Narcissists and Cluster B personality-disordered individuals are infamous for using money to control, manipulate, and abuse. Expect behaviors from them that…
- A Life, Folded
40: Facing the Holidays Alone
Are you experiencing a sense of dread with fall rolling around, knowing that soon you will have to face the holidays alone? This is completely normal for…
- A Life, Folded
39: Social Media Lies
Social media is a fantastic tool to help us stay connected and engaged with friends and acquaintances. It also can be a trap where we envy people's carefully…
- A Life, Folded
38: Loneliness
Loneliness is probably the most common emotion that people who are single experience. But is loneliness bad? Is it something to be feared and changed as soon…
- A Life, Folded
37: The Myth of Closure
Have you ever felt like your healing and ability to move on is hinging on the person who has wronged you giving you closure? That the explanation of their…