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Inner Child Hypnosis to Heal From the Shame of Losing · The Hypnotist

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  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing genuine
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  issues. Brought to you by the
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  hypnotherapist, demanded by celebrities, CEOs and even
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  royalty. Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Adam's clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. This podcast features powerful
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  hypnosis, so do not listen while driving or operating machinery.
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  This recording is not suitable for those with epilepsy or
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  severe mental health issues, so get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi, it's Adam here. And in today's episode of The
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  Hypnotist, you're going to be listening to a hypnosis session
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  that is based on this idea of feeling like you can't win or
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  almost having too much humility to the point of feeling ashamed.
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  And I was working with a client who grew up in a household where
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  if they did very well, one of their parents got jealous.
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  And if they failed, one of their parents would get very critical.
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  And in hypnosis, we call that a double bind.
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  Double binds are normally that whatever the outcome is, it's
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  positive, but in this case it's a double bind, which whatever
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  happens is negative and generally what tends to.
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  Happen is that if that. Is your situation, particularly
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  in childhood, where you can't just leave that?
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  Environment you're. Forced to figure out strategies
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  to mitigate consequences. And that would.
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  Naturally be. Well, if you win, don't.
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  Gloat about it too much so that that.
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  Other parent. Doesn't get jealous.
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  And. If you fail, be harder on
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  yourself and therefore you've beaten someone to the punch so
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  they feel like there's no point in them being harsh on you.
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  So it comes from a logical place and may even have made sense in
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  childhood, but in adulthood probably wouldn't.
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  So this session was created in a form of inner child work, but
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  also breaking that link. From the past.
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  To the present so that they can actually get their wins when
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  they compete and learn lessons if they compete and they lose
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  and that. Win or learn.
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  Philosophy I found very useful for me because I could recognize
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  a lot of these qualities in this client, in myself, quite.
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  Often I wouldn't. Attempt things.
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  When I was. A child in case I lost because I
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  linked losing with feeling ashamed and feeling of low self
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  worth and not valuable, not good enough.
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  And therefore what you tend to do is not try, but not trying is
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  the ultimate failure because then you can't either win or get
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  good. So there's a little bit going on
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  here in this session. I think if you're listening to
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  this, you would benefit most if you feel like you're holding
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  back, if there's certain things that you don't even attempt in
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  case you fail or lose, I think you'll get value.
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  But equally, if you are afraid to celebrate your successes and
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  there's almost. Too much humbleness.
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  Too much humility. So you don't.
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  Even enjoy your successes when you get them then that will also
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  help you from this session. Of course it was created for an
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  individual so some of the references might not be right
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  for you. This.
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  Particular client. Was thinking about chess and jiu
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  jitsu AS2 examples where they would hold back for you.
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  It's probably going to be something entirely different and
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  not necessarily a. Sport.
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  Or a game or a challenge It could be.
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  Something else it. Could be your career where
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  you're holding it back or a relationship.
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  So just kind of think in your life what would.
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  Be the breakthrough. That you would like if you were
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  able to really enjoy your victories and really learn from
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  your losses, and then you'll get more from this.
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  But if you do like the idea of a bespoke session entirely created
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  for you and your situation, have a little scan in the show notes.
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  There's normally a more information button that you can
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  press. You can have a look and in there
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  you'll see a link to book a free consultation call and we can
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  have a chat to see if I'm the right hypnotherapist to work
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  with you. For now, though, you can find a
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  quiet, comfortable place where you won't be.
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  Disturbed, relax and. Enjoy the session.
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  Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in a
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  resourceful feeling of calm and relaxation.
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  And as you exhale, just allow your eyelids to feel relaxed and
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  heavy, like any tension is draining away.
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  As you breathe out, feel even more relaxed.
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  But then breathe in a deeper breath of what feels like
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  distilled, concentrated relaxation.
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  Breathe. In the relaxation.
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  And exhale any tension, and maybe you scan your body for any
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  clues of tension. It's possible it's there around
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  the forehead, the jaw, the neck, the shoulders.
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  As you breathe in, just allow that tension to feel like it's
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  melting away, and with your eyes closed, just imagine looking
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  upwards to the top of your head, keeping your eyes closed but
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  looking upwards. It was like you're looking
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  through your brain. Feel that tension there in your
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  eyes. And on the next outward breath,
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  just relax those eyes feeling deeper and deeper, relaxed.
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  That's it. Drifting off, deeper and more
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  relaxed. The deeper you breathe, the more
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  relaxed you become. And the more relaxed you become,
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  the more your imagination awakens.
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  And I wonder if you could imagine looking through a
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  drawing book, the kind of book that when you were a child used
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  to make pictures, maybe of pens or crayons or colourful paints.
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  But imagine flipping through an old drawing book until you see a
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  page of greenery, the green of the grass, trees with green
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  leaves. Just imagine a picture,
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  something that you could imagine that you would have created as a
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  child, of a bright picnic blanket in lush green nature.
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  Breathe in that relaxation, exhale any stress, and just
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  imagine, just like a scene from a movie, just stepping into the
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  picture. Step into your drawing and find
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  yourself in a world of greenery. Green grass, trees with vivid
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  bright green leaves, a bright blanket there on the floor.
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  And I want you to imagine how good it would feel to lie on a
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  picnic blanket, looking up at the trees, feeling a wonderful
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  feeling of calm and relaxation. And if you could imagine how
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  good it would feel to feel relaxed in nature, Fresh clean
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  air, sunshine and the smell of grass and green leaves.
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  Let me know by nodding your head.
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  And just imagine there on that picnic blanket, you again close
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  your eyes, no longer seeing the greenery but knowing it's there.
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  You can still feel the sunshine on your skin, a gentle breeze.
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  Just imagine how relaxed you feel with your eyes closed on
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  that picnic blanket. And very soon I will count
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  downwards from 12:50 and with each descending number you will
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  feel deeper and deeper relaxed. So relaxed that you could
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  imagine drifting off into a Daydream.
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  So let's start with 1010. Just focusing on your eyelids,
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  feeling your eyelids getting more and more relaxed, more
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  heavy. And then nine forehead releases
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  any tension, 8, loosening your jaw, breathing in that
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  relaxation. And then on 7, just feeling like
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  any tension around your neck and your shoulders is just
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  loosening, melting away, enabling you to drift off into a
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  dreamlike sleep. And then six, full, your arms
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  feeling so limp, loose and heavy.
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  That's it. Like your arms are like the
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  limbs of a puppet with no strings.
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  And then five. Imagine as you breathe in that
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  distilled relaxation that all of your internal organs all relax
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  at the same time. Your lungs relax, stomach
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  relaxes, heart relaxes all the way down into your gut as five
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  becomes 4. Just release any anxiety, any
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  any feelings of niggling doubts, just release them now while
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  simultaneously scanning your body for any echoes of shame.
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  Stress is normally found in the jaw or the neck.
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  Anxiety is normally found they're in the gut.
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  But scan your body, for it feels like shame is for you.
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  When you think you found it, let me know by nodding your head.
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  And then three release that shame.
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  Imagine it evaporating and then leaving your body in that next
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  outward breath. And now focus on your legs.
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  Imagine your legs just as limp, loose and heavy as your arms,
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  finding it easier to breathe in and out even deeper and
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  effortlessly, feeling more and more relaxed.
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  And then two. Focus on your calves.
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  Release any tension there and then, one all the way down to
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  the tips of your toes as you imagine what it would feel like
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  to drift off into a dreamlike sleep while lying on a blanket
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  in nature, surrounded by greenery.
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  But in this dream, imagine that you're going back in time at
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  your current age to see a key moment of your childhood.
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  You are you at your current age, going back in time as an
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  observer. And I want you to observe a
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  memory or a moment where you were punished if you celebrated
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  and took pride in an achievement, but also you were
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  criticized or shamed if you didn't do something right.
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  I want you to go back to a moment where it didn't matter
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  what happened. It felt that you were going to
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  lose. You couldn't do anything right.
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  You were damned if you did and damned if you didn't.
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  And if you can find a memory like that, let me know by
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  nodding your head. And there we go.
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  And just be a witness. Like an invisible witness, like
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  a ghost of the future, going back in time to witness
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  something. And I want you to see you when
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  you were younger, caught between that rock and a hard place, and
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  notice that you did something intuitive.
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  And maybe you realize then if you celebrated too much it would
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  lead to something undesirable. So you downplayed your
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  victories. Or maybe, maybe you were harder
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  on yourself than other people were because you already know
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  what they were going to say. I want you to get a sense then.
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  A gift was given to you back then.
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  A superpower was created over unlocking incredibly high
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  standards, resourcefulness, focus, drive.
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  But there was one downside. Shame echoed from that point
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  beyond, and as you observe a moment of memory and you can see
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  that younger version of you was frustrated, ashamed, or upset,
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  just imagine what it would be like to comfort that younger
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  version of you in the aftermath of that moment.
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  Imagine going to that younger version of you when they're
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  alone and telling them that they have nothing to be ashamed of,
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  they deserve to celebrate their victories, and they can learn
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  from their setbacks. I want you to say the words that
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  you would have loved to have heard as a child.
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  They're coming from you in the present, all the way to you in
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  the past, when that younger version of you feels encouraged,
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  understood, loved. Let me know by nodding your
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  head. I want you to share something
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  with that younger version of you.
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  I want you to share how much you understand.
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  Let me share a moment of memory that happened for both of you.
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  Something only that both of you would know, and in doing so,
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  feel that connection strengthen and tell this younger version of
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  you that shame deprives them of learning.
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  Shame deprives them of enthusiasm and energy and
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  excitement and growth. Just imagine saying to that
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  younger version of you. Then there are so many other
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  emotions. Excitement, gratitude,
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  curiosity, even frustration is so much more powerful than
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  shame. Shame will keep you small, hold
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  you back, whereas frustration can unlock motivation that leads
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  to a breakthrough. Excitement can lead to
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  inspiration, resilience, determination, and tenacity.
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  I want you to make an evaluation of what emotion you would have
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  most wanted to feel more of as a child.
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  It would still have enabled you to strive and grow and learn.
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  You don't have to define it, just get a sense of what it
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  could be. And imagine handing the glowing
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  ball of energy to that younger version of you, the very
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  resource they needed back then. See them?
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  Hold it, pull it up to their chest and absorb that energy and
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  then switch places and feel that you are now that child absorbing
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  that resource, feeling it have a ripple effect all the way down
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  to the core of your identity. Something is shifting.
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  But then recall a resource you had in abundance back then as a
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  child that maybe you've lost connection with as an adult.
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  Maybe it was playfulness, the joy of just doing.
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  Maybe there was more of a curiosity, a sense of
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  imagination, or maybe something else.
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  But when you think of that thing you had in abundance back then,
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  imagine giving that to your older self as a different
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  colored ball of energy. Feel you handing it to your
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  older self and then switch perspectives so you're now
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  receiving that glowing ball of energy and place it in the exact
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  location that shame used to be. And when it feels you've
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  replaced shame with something so much more resourceful and
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  useful, just let me know by nodding your head.
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  I want you to get a sands. Then you're open to a change
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  that the cord that connects the past to the present isn't always
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  needed. I want you to imagine floating
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  up over that memory and seeing a cord that's still connected from
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  that moment, that moment in your life, all the way to the last
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  time you felt shame in something competitive.
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  And just see a thread or a cord or a rope connecting the past to
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  that newer memory and realize that it's time to let that go.
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  And just imagine holding a pair of golden scissors, perhaps even
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  encrusted with jewels. And if you're ready to cut that
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  cord from the past, the very thing that's been affecting your
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  ability to enjoy competing in sports and games, let me know by
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  nodding your head. And then cut that cord and
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  realise that you're no longer tethered to your past.
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  You can learn from it, appreciate it, extract all the
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  wisdom. But the emotional cord has now
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  been cut. And in doing so, feel that you
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  are now liberated to enjoy so many different emotions that
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  would be more useful than shame and false humility.
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  What's humility for one person is a sense of feeling ashamed
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  for another. And you can be humble while
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  still being immensely proud of a victory.
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  So let's go forward in time and imagine yourself in some form of
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  competition, you versus one other person.
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  But this time see that your mannerisms are different.
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  See yourself focused, resourceful, determined to win.
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  There's still the observer, but now see you in your future where
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  something has changed. See different scenarios.
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  See yourself winning and celebrating.
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  See yourself losing and looking curious, intrigued or perhaps
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  even grateful. Grateful for having the ability
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  to play or the lessons you've learnt.
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  And if you could imagine the future as you would want it to
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  be, let me know by nodding your head and then step into that
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  future version of you and just check that it's there.
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  First of all, imagine winning something important to you and
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  feeling that you don't have to downplay anything.
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  Feel that you can celebrate, but commiserate your opponent if you
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  need to. But no downplaying.
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  You own that victory and then imagine a situation where you
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  lose but no shame. The shame has been replaced with
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  something much more useful, something that enables you to be
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  inspired to try again, but even better rather than avoid.
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  And if you could find that emotion, let me know.
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  By nodding your head and feel like you are sowing a seed in
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  your mind that will create a powerful self fulfilling
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  prophecy. You are priming your mind to
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  either win or learn. You are unleashing resourceful
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  emotions that enable. You to be.
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  Able to grow, connect and learn faster than ever before,
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  enriching the quality of your life in infinite possible ways.
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  And as you hold that thought, feel like you're returning back
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  to a picnic blanket in nature surrounded by greenery, and
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  imagine waking up from a dreamlike sleep, walking around
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  that nature surrounded by green grass and green leaves, and
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  realizing that all of this is just a picture in a book.
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  Turn the realistic grass into drawings of blades of grass, and
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  then step backwards through the picture, feeling like you're
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  drifting towards the here and now.
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  Take a deep breath in through your nose and down through your
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  nose. Wiggle your fingers and wiggle.
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  Your toes. Start to calibrate with the here
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  and the now there's very soon. I count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
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  awaken you. You will awaken feeling
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  resourceful, calm and confident. Unleashing a new level of
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  inspiration and desire to play, to compete, to win or to lose,
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  gracefully extracting all the wisdom possible.
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  Starting to count 123 Waking up 456.
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  More alert 7-8 Open your eyes. Open your eyes 910.
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  Wide awake, Wide awake. Wide awake.
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  Thank you for listening to The Hypnotist with Adam Cox, the
• 29:21
  show that gives you inside access to cutting edge hypnosis
• 29:24
  with real clients facing genuine issues.
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  To automatically receive the latest episodes, please
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  subscribe. If you'd like to support the
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  show, please share this episode with just one friend you think
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  please leave us a five star review.