Latest / The REALationship Method / Misused Labels, Fast Rebounds & Justifying Ghosting with Tyler

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Misused Labels, Fast Rebounds & Justifying Ghosting with Tyler · The REALationship Method

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome back to another episode of the Relationship Method podcast.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's your boy Chris, and um I'm back.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: I took a a a little break, and um yeah, today I got a very special guest.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um she is a teacher of some sorts.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_02: She is an aspiring model stress.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: Model?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Model?
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what's a male model?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Model.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_02: What's a girl model?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_03: Model.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_02: A model.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know, you got your yeah, we'll get into that shit later.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_02: Man, I got Tyler up in this bitch.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, how you doing?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm doing good.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_03: How are you?
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm doing great, doing great.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's a beautiful Friday.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, it is.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I usually record on Saturday and Sundays, however, comma.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um I like this work schedule that I uh that I have.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: They they uh they respect the uh observation days.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I love it.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: So we're off from work too, from our preschool.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, um the the whole school thing, if they're on summer vacation, are you off too?
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Or do you still gotta go?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_03: No, we still come in.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_03: We got cleaning days, we got training, yeah.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_03: We're still working.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: Even the first to fifth grade teachers too, they gotta come in.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, I'm not too sure because that's not my age range.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, but our school is year-round.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_02: No way.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um yeah.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_02: These kids are different nowadays, huh?
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: They are.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: They're driving me nuts.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_03: They're cute.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: Cute sometimes.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Does it sometimes?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: Sometimes.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: Have you and um have you ever had to clean after like a preschool kid?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like they had and they had accidents.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yes.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: Every day.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: How do you body liquids?
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_02: How do you do it with a straight face?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_02: Or is your face like really?
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so you have a snank face or you have a mask on?
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh really?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm just going in there, just cleaning it up.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_02: So the um, I guess your administrators or your like your higher ups, they don't say anything because of her face while you're cleaning.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they're usually not watching me like that.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: I I I honestly wonder what goes in a person's mind when they're cleaning up after someone else's kid.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: Because if it's my kid, I'm like, oh, okay.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_02: But if it's someone else's kid, oh man, I feel some type of way.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_03: I just try to get through it.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_02: Girl.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_02: Me too.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: I got the throw-up, I got the shishi, the doo-doo, yeah, all of it.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_02: And they have extra clothes?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_02: What what if they don't have extra clothes?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_03: We keep a bin, because it happens a lot where they don't keep some or they don't bring some to school.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_03: So we keep extras for them.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_02: What's the age range for these preschool kids?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like 40, is it five to seven, four to six?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_02: Am I tripping?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_03: A little bit.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_03: Two to five.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_02: What was I thinking?
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: Seven.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, you're right.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_02: That's like second grade, first grade status, or some shit.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_02: Two to five, okay.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_02: And um, is it uh is it expensive or is it free out here?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: Or what like where you go to where you um I think what we advertise, I'm actually I don't actually don't know how much it is, but I think we're one of the more affordable preschools on Island.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_02: You know what's crazy?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_02: And um it's when I went to school, and even my my kids now, they uh it's free, right?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, like the only thing that I have to pay is freaking their lunch, which is like a year thing, and then the big one is that school supply list at the very beginning of the year.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, damn.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_02: And um, let me ask you this, Miss Tyler.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the year, what happens to the excess supplies?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_02: Does it get recycled to the next year, or do y'all take it home?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Or you can't tell me.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I don't think we usually have excess like that.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: But if anything, we'll keep it.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_02: For the next year or the next school year.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, oh man, keep it, baby.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: You better kick some bags.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's teacher tax.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we take it home.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just saying.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_02: I'd um, because uh I had back um when I started this, I had a teacher come on and he told me that they would take the excess stuff home.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, you know, the wipes, the the ziploc bags, the markers and stuff.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, they would take it home.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_02: But um when the school year uh begins again, like he would buy stuff out of his, you know, out of his pocket for, you know, instead of like he'd buy extra school supplies, but for the kids to enjoy their I guess their classroom experience.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I see, yeah.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like extra blocks or whatever the school can't provide.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_03: But we get reimbursed for that.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_02: Do you really?
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well I don't do it, but the teachers and um teacher assistants do that, and they get reimbursed.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like 100% reimbursed or just or like 75?
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: One of the things that qualify, I guess.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_03: Not everything.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_02: What qualifies as one?
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I guess if it fits into the curriculum or but if it's just for funsies and the teachers just want to like treat the kids, we're not getting reimbursed for that.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: Rosetta Stone.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_02: If a teacher buys or subscribes to a Rosetta Stone and teaches it to the classroom for funsies, will he or she get reimbursed for that?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I have no idea.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_03: For the preschoolers?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, like like Miyam Miyammo Chris, you know what I'm saying?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like the basics, you know, Rosetta Stone level one stuff.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_03: How much is that?
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, I don't know.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know if they're gonna be a little bit more.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, I don't know.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, let's get into um model.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, how did you get into modeling?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: Did you just uh look in the mirror and just thought to yourself, I'm incredibly good looking, I'm gonna do this as a profession.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's it's a for funsi thing, yeah.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_03: Little side hustle if it pays.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_03: Um I guess this brand was just looking for ambassadors, and I was just like, F it, let's do it, and I did it.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_02: You shot your shot.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't the the shooting of the shot process, was it um a picture resume, or did you have to sometimes it's like that, or I just send in an application, why you want to do it, why do you want to represent this brand, send in one picture, and you know, they'll choose you like that.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, how are you compensated with you know this type of gig?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_02: Is it closed or are you getting paid like a side job?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I'm still new to this, not very out there yet.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_03: So a lot of the times it's clothes products.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_03: But there I've there's been a few gigs where I've gotten paid.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Have you done the run the runway yet?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: Or which runway?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um there's multiple.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh like I was not prepared for this one.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: How was it?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_02: The ones in Hawaii where they do um I can't.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Like Hawaii swim show?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_02: Have you done?
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: No, I have not.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_03: I haven't, I don't think I've applied to that.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: You have to apply?
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: And there's a application fee.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: There's a fee?
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_03: For for that one, because it's a big one.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_03: But I've done like small runways.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: I was so ashamed.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've never really taken walking classes, nothing like that.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: I was like actually running down the runway because I was that scared.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: I was so the okay.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_02: So for aspiring models, these walking classes, they really help.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so, yes.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: Huh?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: Interesting.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_03: I know, crazy, you gotta take classes to walk.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_03: But it there's a lot that goes into it.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me tell me tell me two things.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: What goes into these walks?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe your speed, posture, the way you carry yourself, your facial expressions.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: That was more than two things, but yeah, a lot.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_02: What did you mess up on besides the the walking two feet?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, besides the speed, um was everything else kosher or it was alright.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: I think I think the smile was there, the attitude, but maybe not like the poses quite yet.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: Well, no, no, man, we are human.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: We are improving daily.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and Miss Tyler, for people out there, um, single, are you uh on the apps?
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_02: Are you mingling?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_02: Are you just doing you right now?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_02: Are you in a relationship?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: Are you married to God?
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_02: You know.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_03: I am single currently.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_02: Currently single, okay.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_02: Not on the app.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, good for you.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, not on the apps, and I'm just doing me right now.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: That's good.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think, um, and this is for both male and female, after getting out of relationships, they are so quick to jump into, like, say, another one.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: Or like quick to talk to someone.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_02: And like not, you know, reflect on what just happened.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's for a lot of people, they're just too uncomfortable to reflect.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: They can't face the fact and maybe which is understandable though.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe they just wanna feel that feeling again, so they, you know, move on to the next.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: Could that do you think that is a red flag slash toxic trait?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: And this is gonna move into our our thing.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_03: I don't wanna maybe like call it outright toxic.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Because people have their reasons, but I don't think it's the healthiest.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's not the healthiest.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_02: No, I wouldn't say so.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_02: Could it be a red flag?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: It could be.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: It could be, I would say so.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_02: Makes makes a motherfucker thing.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and uh before we get into it, um, how did this happen?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_02: How did you I get you onto this pod?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you just hit me up on DM saying like, hey, you're interested in doing this podcast with me, and I was like, something new, let's do it.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: Did the DM come I I I like to asking this question.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_02: Did the DM come off at like as creepy or did it come off generic or anything?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, not at all.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_03: It wasn't creepy.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_03: Straight to the point, straight to the point.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, let's do it.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_02: Shop my shot.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_02: Respectfully too.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah, yeah.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_02: So and for people that don't know, the way I DM people to come on the pod, I introduce myself as the host.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_02: I um I put the at pod, whatever, yeah, my um, the IG handle.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then I just asked if they're interested first and available.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_02: And then I just usually get the response back.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: Did my when I first DM'd you, did it get shuffled or lost in your I guess your subcategory DMs?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because you know you got your primary, your general, and everything.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_02: Did it get locked?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: Did it really?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you reached out to me multiple times, or like I sure did reach out multiple times.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_02: I don't care.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: No, do it, shoot your shot.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_03: I I think I was busy the first time at gigs or shoots or something.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: But then you reached out the second and it was a little last minute.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I'm free, let's do it.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: Understandable.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, let's get into this.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, everyone says protect your peace, right?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: But we are cutting people off because they're actually toxic.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yep.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, or because we don't know how to have difficult conversations, right?
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: So today we're um I'm gonna ask you, you know, is cutting off family and friends becoming too normal?
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh wait, I mean that's like that's the topic of the thing of the thing, right?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I'll I'll I'll let you think for a minute.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Thing in.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, there you go, you're done.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, um so Miss Tyler, and then you know, I'll I'll come in too.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_02: What does toxic really mean?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: And it's one of those things where we say it a lot, yes, we do, but we really don't dive in onto like the actual meaning of like toxic.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_02: Or red flag.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think toxic and red flag is in the same realm where like it's it's used the same but totally different meanings?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: I would say at times it's used as like the same thing.
• 12:14
  unknown: Yeah.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: And do you think it's used correctly too?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: Not all the time.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like people just throw out that term like willy-nilly.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, me too.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_02: Because when people say, oh man, that's a red flag.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, that's toxic.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: And it could just be normal behavior.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely normal behavior.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um but yeah, why what do you what do you think toxic means?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like in your words.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um when I think of someone being toxic to me.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: What a question.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I'll let you think.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think toxic is a small part of narcissism.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: And um, ooh, I used a big word there, huh?
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you did.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um narcissism and like a loss of actual like reality of what's happening at that point of time.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: Oh I mean, that's like that's like my little definite.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh, okay.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um, let me break it down to third grade terms, right?
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: Do it, do it.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_02: Did it go over your head?
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, I I was there.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: I was there with.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't I didn't mean to.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, like um with the second part, because I already lost my train of thought, right?
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, it's the second part, it's more of like what's happening right then and there, you just in your head made up a whole new scenario.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_02: Like you created something in your head where it's like, yo, this shit didn't happen.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_02: The first part, and we all I don't have to explain it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: Narcissist narcissism.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: No, you don't have to explain it.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_03: I would think I would describe people I've dealt with the past that has like narcissistic characteristics as toxic.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe someone who has like ill intent but doesn't come off that way.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: Like puts on that good persona, but really, really they're evil, toxic.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_03: There you go.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm thinking.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_02: Makes sense, and that happens with both family members and friends as well.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like they have ulterior motives, yeah.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: They might act good, but they're not really have that good intention.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_02: Do you believe this um in this saying?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I've been saying this saying a lot recently.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I hope you eat, but you're not gonna be eating at my table.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: At your table, right?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I've heard that before.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_02: I fucking love that saying.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's like I I wish you the best.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_03: But not with me.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, and like hey man, I'll I'll clap, but I'm gonna clap down yon.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: All the way over there, right?
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but I'm seeing you like, hey man, good for freaking you.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: I like that, yeah.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, cool.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, dude, can one mistake label wait, nope, that that that don't even make sense.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: Are people confusing disagreement with abuse?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think that is?
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think some people, I could be guilty at times, but like if you're just not oh, self-awareness.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_03: But if you're like not agreeing with me, not at the same point of view, then I don't mess with you.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_02: Could that be toxic?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: It could, 100%.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: It could be.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: So in order for, let's say But I really think I'm right.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, see that's girl!
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah ain't no way you're gonna tell me the that sky is green and I'm looking at him like, motherfucker, that's blue.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_02: And then you're you're right.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_03: I would never say that because like it's wrong.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: But if I think it's like 100% right and you're still fighting me on this, bye.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_02: But what Miss Tyler, what if the facts are you know right there in your face?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, like the solution, like the solution to the problem and it's broken down, right, broken down to the simplest, you know, form, if it's there and you still think you're right, are you still cutting that person off or would you feel some type of way because you just you're taking that L?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: No, to an extent.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think if the facts are all laid out and I was really proven wrong, okay, fine, you're still my friend.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_02: But you're right.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm right.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: But you're still right.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_02: You'd be like, but you know what?
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_02: At the end of the day, I think I'm just kind of right.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe a little bit.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm not too extreme, not too extreme.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like if they really lay it out, I'm like, all right, I see where you're coming from.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe I was wrong.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_02: Miss Heller, how are you at debates then?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: Are you like, you know what?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: F this, I'm leaving, I'm I'm done.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_02: I'm right.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'll just go super headstrong with my point of view and just keep going.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_02: And keep going.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Like a bull.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_02: Are you the one where you'd have to take control of the conversation at all times, or are you willing to let the other person speak his or her piece?
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, see, you laugh, so therefore, that's just telling me this like, you know what, I'm gonna say my piece.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_02: I'm the last word person.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_02: Are you the last word?
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: Actually, it's crazy.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: In relationships, I feel like I am I'm that boy that just has to like, you know what, this is how it is, this is how I feel, and that's it.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then with my parents, it's the other way around.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's the other way around, but I feel like that's kind of normal too.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: You kind of model your parents like that.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_03: But my parents are very, I'm gonna get the last word in.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, like be quiet, that's it, what's set aside.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_02: And then you say something back, and then they're like, What you say?
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Oh, nothing.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_02: And then they'll say, That's what I thought.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_02: And then that's their last word.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um they just want to get the last word in.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_03: You are a love your mom, love your dad.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_02: You are a product of your parents.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: Always.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's always that way.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_02: Here we come, here's comes the next one.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm aware.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: You're aware.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well, wait, you know what?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_02: We'll talk about that.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_02: So you're aware of, like, say, when you're right and wrong, or you're aware of how the person is reciprocating the information that you're giving out.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: Is that what you mean by your I meant like I'm I'm aware of the traits I might have picked up from your parents.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: I just went deep.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_02: Sorry guys.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, no, it's like, well, I was digging.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_02: I was digging them cheeks right there, you know.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I realized how it showed up in like current, future, not cr not future, hello.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_03: Um, current and past relationships.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, have those traits, need to work on it.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: What give me one trait of your mom and one trait of your dad that you know you feel like you have, and that's like your yo, this is my dad, this is my mom.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um, hmm.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: My mom.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_03: She's very tough love.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: When it's her way, it's her way or no way.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I think that's definitely how I am in a relationship.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: For my dad, I'm not too sure.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_03: He's like the chill back laid guy, whatever, laid-back guy, whatever my mom says goes.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then if she's upset about it, then he'll be upset about it.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: So whatever I'm like mirroring or copying, it's all for my mom, honestly.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: So she's great.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_02: Ms.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, is there is mom?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: I love you.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Um, can I have dinner on the table, please?
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so with your dad, um, are you ever chill back too?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: Like to where to the point where it's like, uh, like an argument happens and you're just chill, you're like, whatever.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: Like in a relationship?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 19:21
  unknown: Oh.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_02: Or even in a professional setting or with a friend.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_03: It depends who.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: So your dad's trait comes out when it's when it's like a chill conversation, like, alright, yeah, whatever.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: But then when it's a heated one, your mom Oh my mom comes out 100%.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_03: Sassiness.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_03: She's fierce, that one.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: That woman.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: I think.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_02: And this is fair.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_03: What if they watch this?
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_02: This is they're gonna be like, oh, I'm not never again.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Uh you're not going on the show, huh?
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: Um I think, and I've said this before, uh, Asian women, especially uh Filipinos, the shorter they get and the older they get, the sassier they become.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_02: So like, you know, like they're supposed to be sweet, right?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like like old black people, old f you know, old Mexicans, whatever.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_02: But the older, you know, a woman gets, uh, you know, Filipino and shorter, they're just more snappier and like more tu'd.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like instead of a oh thank you, it's a thank you.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, oh my gosh.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh my gosh.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know, or not even or not even uh a thank you, it's a it's a look.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_02: Or uh you know, yeah.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'm like, oh that's interesting.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: I think with my grandma, she was very much like my mom when she was younger, when she was parenting, but now she's like the sweetest of the thing.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_02: When you're on the island, yes, and um, let's say you're shopping.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, have your you know, because this is gonna this is gonna happen.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like after this conversation that we're gonna have.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I hope you catch, you know, these old ladies, these attitude-y ladies, you know, the short ones, you know, the short Filipino ladies, and they'll give you an attitude like, oh shit.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_02: I just had this conversation with Chris.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: God damn, this shit's motherfucking true.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, I'm really good with the old Filipino ladies.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_02: Do you speak the language?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_02: Do you understand it?
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, very little.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like at home, my my dad will speak, my grandma will speak, but I'll understand like, did you eat, did you shower, or if they like get upset with me?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_02: Um, tagalo, kampampangan, uh do you know which which Tagalo Kapampangan and Visayan?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think yeah, thank you.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: Good job.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh I I understand I understand all the dialects, but when I speak it, it's all jumbled up.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: So when I'm talking, I sound like a super fool.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_02: Like a I sound like a retard.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh you know?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's all mixed up.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I see the aunties, they laugh because they know what I'm trying to say.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but they're like, Oh, okay.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_02: And they're like, Oh, illicano is like, Yeah, I'm trying to speak illicano.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh You're speaking to Galung I'm like, oh shit, I'm sorry.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_02: You know, but it's it's funny how they try to correct you, right?
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_02: But they don't correct you.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_02: They how do I explain this?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_02: They'll have you keep on going to make you sound real stupid and then they'll They just want to see it first.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_02: First head, I'm just like, man, you could have stopped me like five minutes ago.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and you're making me feel all dumb.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, here we go.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_02: Does family deserve deserve unlimited chances?
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_02: No, why not?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_02: If they're blood.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know how they say blood is thicker than water?
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_03: I wouldn't say so.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: I think some of well, I love my family, but my tightest, some of my tightest friends are, you know, not blood.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Some of the people I consider my sisters, not blood.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think just because they're your family, they don't deserve that unlimited grace.
• 22:57
  SPEAKER_02: This is true.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I totally agree with you.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_02: Uh there's a situation that that happened where uh I have a like his a friend, real close friend of you know, the family, and his girl cheated on him with let's just say my cousin.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_02: And they found um, you know, the my boy found out, and uh my boy's best friend, which is my cousin, uh you know what?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not even gonna say the story because there's too many cousins involved.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_02: I gotta say a name, and I'm not gonna fucking do it.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_03: Drop it.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_03: Next story.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_02: I'll I'll tell you the next story.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_02: Um, so I I recently flew out to the mainland and I was helping my cousin out uh make this make this move.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_02: Um, he knew that I didn't go there with any money.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_02: The move was to drop, he drove a car, I drove a car a c across country.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_02: People might know like my my cousins and relatives that are listening to this, they'll know the story because it's already spread, right?
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_02: But people that don't know, I'm not gonna drop any names.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: But um, so he lived on the east side of the United States.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: We had to drive on the west.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: The the thing was he was supposed to cover me.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: He even said it himself, he was supposed to cover like all the expensive.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_02: All I had to do was fucking just drive.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_02: And when it comes to like eating, I told him, yo, don't feed me.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm good off of Gatterade and beef jerky or some shit.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: Not the Gatterade.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I'm good off that stuff.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, sometimes I need a poop, but other than that, you get the gas, you get the lodging, whatever.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_02: But the food, hey man, chill the fuck back with me.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we did this midway through this trip.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_02: He runs out of money.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, oh my freaking god, I'm finna lose my shit.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: So, um, when this happened, I'm like, yo, what do we got?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_02: What are we gonna do?
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_02: Because I I came, I told you from the get, I came out with no money whatsoever.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm not trying to dig into my funds if someone told me that they got it.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right?
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_02: So, man, I had to dig into funds, and I was, yeah, I was pretty pissed like throughout the whole trip, right?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean, this is family, so I helped them out.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_02: Um, long story short, we reached our destination after you know, me dropping funds, and I asked him, hypothetically speaking, what if I didn't show up to this, you know, to help you out?
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_02: What would you have done?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh, I would have flown out my boy, or I would have flown out a friend to help me.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that part, like, it switched something in my head to where like I'm not fucking with you no more.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know what?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_02: Let me take that back.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna let you eat.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: I hope you eat, but we can't be eating at the same table.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because of I had to spend my own ducats to fly out to him.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_02: First thing he said without any hesitation is like, I would have flown out my boy for free.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_00: Crazy.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_02: That shit caught that caught me off.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_02: That cut me off, yeah.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_02: So that's why I said, you know, like family, when it comes to family, like I'm I'm rooted, I'm rooted intuitive with my people's.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_02: But if you do me dirty, it's like I'm still there for you, but I'm not there for you anymore.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like you don't have access to me like that anymore.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_02: Are you the same way?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so like that's that family member, he or she is like, oh, Tyler, can I get five bucks?
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: Well then shit.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_02: Now, Tyler, can I get five bucks?
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_02: And you just don't don't answer.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: If you're using me like that, if you're doing me wrong, then I'm not gonna be there for you like that.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_02: Can an aunt or like someone older older than you?
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_02: Can that happen to you?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_02: Or like, are you okay to cut that person off?
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's easier to do it if it's young.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's easier to do it if it's like a younger person, right?
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like, you know, you don't look like a day over, you know, 23 or whatever.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: So like let's say someone likes like your cousin that's like 15 or 16, yeah, he or she did you dirty, okay.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not gonna mess with you for the next couple years.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_02: But if it's like an older aunt that kind of did you dirty, are you easily forgiven, forgiving, or are you gonna let that slide?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's harder if they're older.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: I think I'm also a people pleaser.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, red flag talk.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_02: Red flag or toxic.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_02: Clock that motherfucker.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's hard.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_03: I I do care what people think, even if they do me wrong.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_03: Whatever they'll speak out my name.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I care about it.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's hard.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's easier said than done to be like, I don't care what people think, but I care.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_03: So it would be harder to cut off someone that's older that you're supposed to be respecting.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: You know, just because they're older.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_03: Respect your elders.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, but what if they're not respecting you back?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, what?
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_02: Next question then.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_02: Should always should parents always be forgiven?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh, yeah, because uh after talking to you, you seem it seems like you have a real good relationship with your mom and pops, yeah?
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's alright, yeah.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, okay, of course, you're you're getting older, right?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, young.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_02: So, like, yeah, are they can you forgive them or can you easily forgive them if they did any type of wrong?
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, scenario time then.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: Uh your parents want to buy a new karaoke machine.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_02: They have access to your account.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_02: They buy a new karaoke machine using your account, but not asking or telling you.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like, it's like a joint account.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_02: I guess it's a it's an account where they know how much you have and they have access to, but you're working and you're putting it in.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: Would I forgive them?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh gosh.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm talking about like they paying me back?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: Shit, you live if you're living under their roof.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, why would you pay them back?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_03: I think, you know, I think always in time.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: I think I've gone through a lot with my parents.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_03: And there's some things where it's like, I'm never gonna be like this, I'm never gonna forgive her.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: But with time, I feel like your heart softens and you're like, they're human too.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_03: Eventually I can forgive them.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: You know, maybe we hash it out.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: It might not be the nicest, like, of hash outs.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_03: But with time, I feel like I'll ease up and forgive them.
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_03: They're human too.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_02: Would you still be talking to them?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_02: Like, since you live with them, would you still be talking to them or would you try and avoid them at the at the house?
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_03: If they bought a karaoke machine with their money, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_02: We're still on the karaoke machine.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I mean, we live together.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of hard to avoid them, but I kind of would give them the cold shoulder.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe send that message that way.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, so in this scenario with the karaoke machine, do you think the karaoke machine is a little too small?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: Like, should I try to go bigger and say, let's say, you saved up, let's say, 20k.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Oh.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_02: They use that 20k as a down payment to buy a house in the Philippines.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_02: Are they for can you forgive them for that?
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't think so.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_03: I think they totally would have just crossed the boundary.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_02: So this when the scenario's different from a little, I'm gonna say$200 karaoke machine to a$20,000 that you save for down payment on a home for their, I guess, retirement or whatever, it switches up the whole forgiveness of the parents.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_03: Why not just ask me?
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_03: Why do you have to go behind my back to do something like that?
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_03: I think it totally switches it up.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they had had ill intent.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_02: Is there any is there any going back?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, like the damage has been done.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_03: With a lot of circumstances and a lot of relationships, you can always go back if you really want to.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_03: But something like that would be really difficult to come back from.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you would need both ends to really like talk it out.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_03: We can still understand each other.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_03: Only then.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_03: Only then.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: Only then.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, next question then.
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_02: And then this is um piggybacking off that.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, okay.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think adult friendships end?
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, there's so many reasons.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I just lost, lost a few recently.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_03: I think they're they have ulterior motives, they're not really being who they said they were or who they showed me to be.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's a big reason.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: Or maybe they're jealous, or can you lose an adult reason?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_02: Can you lose an adult friend over, let's say, a disagreement with like a uh like with a relative.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_02: So you brought scenario time.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_02: I love scenarios.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_02: You brought a um you brought one of your good friends over.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he or she gets into, let's say, a small debate with your aunt.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_02: The debate gets a little bit bigger because both of them are they they they feel so um, I'm so in lost word.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_02: They're so passionate with what they're talking about.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_02: And it becomes like a low-key, like shouting discussion now.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I want to get just like you, I want to get my point across, I want to be the last word, da da da da.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_03: Not all the time.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: So when your friend starts disrespecting, like say your aunt, you know, and they're just conversating, can that be one of those uh friend like relationship enders?
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I would say so.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_03: I think it depends on how ugly it gets and what was said.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um because if you're disrespecting my family, then you're disrespecting me ultimately.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_02: I lost a lot of friends when um, and I really don't talk politics, but when our president came on board, you lost people.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_02: I I lost a lot of people because of I'm serving, and because of I have no say, because I don't want to have a say.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_02: Like he tells me what to do because he signs my paychecks.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_02: Right?
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_02: So, and it's a pretty good paycheck at that, it's like it's providing for me and my family.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_02: Therefore, if he tells me to jump, I'm gonna be like, jump where, how high?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_02: So my two cents on what he's doing, of course, like I'll have an opinion, but I'm not gonna bash on him.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_02: And because I don't bash on him and I don't agree what he's you know what he's doing, and I really don't have anything to say when like say my family and friends talk, you know, talk their talk about these situations, it's like, oh, I'm I'm pro him, but I'm not really pro anyone.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and because I don't say anything, because I don't do this and the third, it's like they cut me off because of that.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh like political, like political discussions, they become nasty.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: They do.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_02: Like, especially like in this time of age, I'm like, damn.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_02: They really so divided.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_02: Is is your family like that too?
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_02: Um like when it comes to like discussions like that, where you know, the Raiders freaking good.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_02: No, the it's the Niners, this and the other.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_02: I ain't talking to you no more, cause da da da da.
• 34:44
  SPEAKER_03: No, I wouldn't say it gets like that in my family.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: We definitely have um different opinions, different stances, but I don't think we get completely divided because of it.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: Which I think is good.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: I think that is really good.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_02: Um, is ghosting ever acceptable?
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_02: Explain that.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_02: As a guy.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think so?
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wait, ghosting in in friendships, relationships, talking stages, what are we doing?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: We'll do we'll do friendships first.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_03: Is ghosting acceptable like leaving without explanation, you mean?
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just stop talking to a person.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: Wait, wait, actually.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: I got I got Tyler.
• 35:27
  SPEAKER_02: Looking back.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm um Okay, let's go back into the memories.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_03: Have I ghosted Well, I don't think I've ghosted anyone friendship-wise.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: I think I've given them the reason.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_03: I think you should always do that.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_03: Unless you've always given completely done you wrong and you don't feel like there's no point in reaching out, explaining myself, then just dip out.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: Because maybe they're maybe the explanation won't do anything.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe I won't click to them.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_03: So just dip out, ghost them.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I think.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_02: How about this then?
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_02: How about if you outgrew the person?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_02: Is ghosting acceptable then?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_02: And this is for you know friends and family and relatives or whatever.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_02: And they're not yeah.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_03: I personally would give them a reason.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like even if I outgrew them, I feel like they deserve.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: Because if I'm just outgrowing them, I feel like they deserve an explanation.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: How would you how would you explain that?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm calling, I'm calling Tyler, I'm hitting Tyler up.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_02: You just you're ghost in me.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: I guess you're outgrowing me or whatever.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_02: How would you break out growing how would how would Tyler break that news to me?
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_02: Chris, I outgrown you.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_02: I'd be like, what the fuck does that even mean?
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_03: I've outgrow you.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm bigger.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_02: Empress, what are you?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: An emperor right now, dog?
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: No, but yeah, how would you do that?
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, but that's a tough one.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm really not to me that feels like conflict, and I'm not good with those kind of things.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_03: But you get to be too high.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_02: You get into conflicts at school though.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: Always.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, with little kids, you I mean, you have to be some type sort of manipulating.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_03: Hey, John, I outgrew you.
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_03: You know, like I'm not.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_03: See, that's that's too difficult.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: No, I feel you.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: I feel like No, okay.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_02: That's a real tough discussion with John.
• 37:23
  SPEAKER_03: No, that's tough.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_03: And he's like three years old.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know, right?
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean no, that's hard.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_03: No, I don't know.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_03: I think what would I you're asking what I would say?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_02: I'm reaching out to you.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_02: You're uh you ghost to me because you outgrew, I guess, this friendship or you outgrew me.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_03: Um I think I would say that maybe like I enjoyed the time that we spent, and it just feels to me as if maybe we're going different directions and I need to go on my own.
• 37:58
  unknown: I don't know.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, you okay, okay, okay.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, you you and I are dating.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wait, break up with me right now, then.
• 38:05
  SPEAKER_02: Is it the same schmiel?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, okay, maybe we're going in a different direction.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: The other one sound like it was breaking.
• 38:11
  SPEAKER_02: It sounded like a breakup instead of an outgrowth.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_03: Because it really is a breakup.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_03: Friendship or relationship.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_03: You're right.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes friendships are harder than like intimate relationships.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_03: This is true.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I I would say so.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_03: I I feel like That's valid.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, she goes, but I watched I Don't say her name.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: You don't have to say her name.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_03: I lost a best friend a couple years back, and it it kind of felt like it was like I was going through a breakup breakup.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_03: It felt that way because I feel like we built just as much, if not more, than the relationships I've gone through, and then I just lost her, you know?
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_02: Was it um was it a mutual splitting or were you the one that you did it?
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: I did, and it was hard.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_03: I just felt like at the time I didn't feel like I was getting that respect.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I I felt like okay, let me do something for myself.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think it was harder on her because you were the breaker-upper?
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_02: Is that even a word?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_02: But the one that initiated it, do you think it hit her a little bit more hard than I really don't know how she took it because we haven't contacted since actually I reached out not too much.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: You reached out.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the reason I reached out tangent was because in relationships that I was facing, romantic ones, I was like, man, I'm giving these guys so many chances.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_03: And once this one thing happened with my best friend at the time, I just left.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_03: I cut it off.
• 39:39
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm like, how can I give these guys all these chances but not give my best friend the same benefit of the doubt?
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_03: So I reached out to her and we haven't reconnected.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if she doesn't want to or what, but is it more like the ball is in her court now because you made the first move?
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: Definitely.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_03: What if I give too much detail?
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_03: Should I?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: Should I do it?
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, sure.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, it wasn't.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_03: Just don't drop a name.
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_03: I won't drop a name.
• 40:05
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I was out with my sister.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_03: Post gym, went to go to this place to get a smoothie, and then I saw them.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_03: I saw her and her man.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_02: And then that triggered something?
• 40:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, I was like, oh my gosh.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_03: My sister's name is Kayla.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh my gosh, Kayla, that's her.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_03: I tried to reach out to her, she never got back to me.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's her.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_03: And then Kayla's like, where, where?
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_03: I look around the store, nowhere to be found.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so I go back to the car, we're eating our post-gym smoothie, and I look at the store.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: They're walking back into the store.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_02: So do you think that she um dipped out?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_03: She she saw you and I definitely think so.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: They were like waiting for me to come out and then they went back inside.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of childish.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_02: In my opinion, that's childish because as an adult, we are supposed to face these obstacles, these fears.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_02: And if we don't face them, it becomes like one of those lingering what-ifs, right?
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you're gonna close it, give me a freaking proper closure.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_03: I reached out, I was like, was that at you?
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_03: Was that you at that store?
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_03: No response.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, so she's gonna be able to do it.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm ready to reconnect, but I get it, because you know, I I called it off in the first place.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so maybe she's still in her feels.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: And her ghosting you my psychology.
• 41:29
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you ghosting you is like payback.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_02: I you know, and you and she dodging you is like, oh no, I ain't trying to.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm trying to put my myself in her shoes and maybe try to get it.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_02: That's always good that you do that.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: Putting yourself in other person's shoes to it's hard, it's not always easy at times, but you know what?
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_03: I kind of get why she did that.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_03: I mean But I feel like I was totally valid on why I called it out in the first time.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh really?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_03: I I do think so.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_02: Okay.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_02: Well, shoot, if if you feel that validity is is good, I mean, shoot the only I mean the only way the only thing that you could do now is just like just stick to those guns, you know?
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_02: Just like you know, just like your your your toxic trait, your freaking, I'm right.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a bull, yeah.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_02: I got the last word.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_02: Um here's the next question.
• 42:14
  SPEAKER_02: Do we ever stop to examine ourselves?
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_03: We do.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_03: We do.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_03: I think especially with what I've been going through recently, um it definitely given me some time and space to reflect on myself.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's really important.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's why, you know, like we were talking about earlier, I can't just jump into something new right after.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_03: I need that time to reflect and really look back on my mistakes and what I could have done better and what I should do in the future.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's good to just do some shadow work.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: When you're doing your shadow work, that's what they call it.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_02: When you're doing your work, are you are you right all the time?
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_02: Or do you ever find yourself saying, oh dude, I was kind of a I was kind of a bitch, or I could I did mess up here.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_03: Like I definitely find myself to be wrong at times, but maybe I was like partially right, and I was like, Yeah, okay, okay.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say it's like, you know, I was wrong, but no, but I shouldn't maybe I shouldn't have taken it out that way or communicated that way or taken it that far.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_03: But like my point, I think was very valid, but not the way I acted.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: I think that's a that's a big theme in a lot of the relationships I've had on goes both ways.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_03: Like maybe your point, maybe your feelings are right, but how you took it out, probably not much so.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, in the heat of the moment, yes, are you a logical thinker or a emotional thinker?
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_03: Both, but majority emotional.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a very in tune with my emotion, gal.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_02: What's your sign?
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: What's your I'm a Scorpio.
• 43:59
  SPEAKER_02: Oh
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_03: Most people hear that, they're like, ooh.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_03: But I I don't know.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_03: I think I got the best traits of a Scorpio.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_02: What are the best traits for people that don't know like me?
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of people say Scorpios are very um passionate, very intense.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_03: But I think you can be I could be intense in some really like crazy ways, but tenfold in the good ways.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_03: That's how I feel.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, interesting, interesting.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
• 44:26
  SPEAKER_02: Um, dude, here we go.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_02: Here's another one.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_02: Should family and friends get unlimited second chances?
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_02: I think we I think we talked about that.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_03: You kind of covered that, but no, I don't think so.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_03: You cross that line and you cross that line.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_02: Can you love someone and still keep them out of your life?
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_03: I think so.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_02: I think so too.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, 100%.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_03: Why do you think that?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, um, just like how the I hope you eat, but not at my table.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_02: Like, I love you, man.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm here for you.
• 44:59
  SPEAKER_02: If anything goes south, I'm there.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_02: But from damn, from they're doing some construction work.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_02: If you hear that, y'all, they're doing construction work downstairs and I think next door.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_02: So that's not our stomach, alright?
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_03: I am fed.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't eat breakfast.
• 45:14
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, well.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not fed.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she didn't eat breakfast.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_02: She didn't even poop yet, y'all.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay, going back, going back.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_02: We got some chat.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um fuck.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_02: What did I just say?
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_02: Uh eat at the table.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_03: Don't eat at my table.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_02: So that's the can you love someone from Yeah.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_02: I love you, dog, but I gotta do it back here.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, or um, okay, everyone always remembers their first love, right?
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: And let's say you folks, you know, we just broke it off.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh oh God, what's the word?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_02: It was it was mutual.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_02: It was a mutual break break off, break, breakup because they outgrew each other.
• 46:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you could always love that person from afar, yeah, but not just like, oh man, I'm I love you, but I'm not in love with you.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 46:11
  SPEAKER_02: That type of situation.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_02: That's what I think with that.
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_02: Same?
• 46:15
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I would say the same.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 46:18
  SPEAKER_02: Uh maybe we'll too quick to send too quick to end.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_02: Have therapists made people too quick to end relationships?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's a hard one.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not too sure.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_03: I think I need a therapist.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: But I don't know.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm self-aware.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I should be going to therapy.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_03: Everyone should.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_03: But um Is it really the therapist that's making these relationships end quicker?
• 46:51
  SPEAKER_02: I honestly think that therapists put they put things into perspective to try to make the situations make sense.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_03: Right, but they're never making you do anything.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_03: They're not making anything.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_03: They're just helping you out.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_02: Like little devil's advocate.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_02: Or an angel's.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_03: You were telling me you were uh well you're not a counselor, you were a counselor.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm a counselor, yeah.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_03: So would you say you uh push them towards a specific decision?
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_03: Or you just give them a different outlook, different perspective.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_02: Me personally, I like to give them like different outlooks.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not pushing them to do anything, of course.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_02: But I would love I love to put them like if you do choose this, you gotta think two to three steps ahead.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_02: Like what's what's gonna happen afterwards, you know?
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_02: Like, especially when, and I sp I speak to a lot of like young kids.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like, if if you're finna like take that jacket, dog, like are you prepared for what's to come?
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_02: Like if you get caught, are you prepared to go to jail?
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_02: If you don't get caught, are you prepared to explain to your parents where you got this new item from?
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like that.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_02: So like that two, three step ahead like deal, yeah.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_02: I like I like doing that a lot.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_02: And you know, as you know, I I like throwing out scenarios too.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, of course.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think scenarios are fine.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I know they are.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: I like them.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like therapists don't necessarily they're not the one causing the breakup.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_03: They're just leading you towards certain directions or opening your eyes in ways they didn't think of.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_02: What made you s not see a therapist yet?
• 48:33
  SPEAKER_02: Are you like hesitant or are you like more like I don't have time for it right now because I'm busy?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_03: Um I'm sure I have time.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_03: I just have to make time.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I think I'm a little hesitant.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_03: It just sounds a little scary, but it's definitely something I want to look into.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: Really?
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_03: My workplace actually um they give us three free sessions a year.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_03: So I definitely want to take that opportunity and maybe talk to someone.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_02: As a person that goes to therapy, I think you should.
• 49:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because uh the only like the reason why I went to therapy is because the military thought I had some type of like anger issue or whatever, but then I go to therapy and it's yeah, I got anger issues and stuff, but I uh I have other underlying problems as well.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_02: Like I'm low-key depressed, I have PTSD, I'm I have like anxiety, which I really honestly don't think I have anxiety, but yeah, and I have ADHD and shit.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah, I'm like, what the fuck?
• 49:40
  SPEAKER_02: But my therapist says that I've had these for so long that I came up with my own coping mechanisms, and that's why I I I've never gone before.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_02: But because you know, every year the military does this thing called a PhA, a physical something assessment, physical health assessment.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and you know, we have to be truthful in these questionnaires and these surveys, and that's the only reason why I got to I yeah, I got sent to see a therapist.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, but if I wasn't truthful or whatnot, yeah, I would have never seen a therapist or or whatever.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_02: But I mean Yeah, I mean you should- What's a good thing you did then?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, right.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_02: I I I know I'm kind of I'm retarded in a little way, you know.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_02: I got I'm just like, I'm special, I got a superpower.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_02: No, but um, no, you should you should definitely check.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_02: Um it's one of those things where you know I'm kind of I was macho wacho, you know what I'm saying?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_02: Put like your ego to the door and just let someone because we all have our walls, right?
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_02: Just let a motherfucker in just a little bit, you know?
• 50:43
  SPEAKER_02: So yeah, that type of shit.
• 50:45
  SPEAKER_03: Seems a little intimidating to let someone in like that.
• 50:48
  SPEAKER_02: It is, it is.
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I had a guy though.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 50:51
  SPEAKER_02: I had a guy uh therapist.
• 50:53
  SPEAKER_02: Would you prefer a guy or a girl?
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe a girl.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_02: A girl?
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 50:57
  SPEAKER_02: Why girl?
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_02: Why why why you say girl?
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_02: Mine was just it was a random person.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_02: Randomly given to me.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_02: Why would you choose a girl over a guy?
• 51:06
  SPEAKER_02: It's not a sexist thing, is it?
• 51:08
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like in so many It can be a sexist thing.
• 51:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's I'm more comfortable with my girl.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_03: Men are scary.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_03: A lot of it's like.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_03: Explain that.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_02: Explain.
• 51:16
  SPEAKER_02: How are we scary?
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_02: Is it because we're more blunt?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um or are we like, do you think there's like, as a as a woman, do you think that because of these therapy sessions, we know your vulnerability and we might use it to our advantage if we try to pursue you?
• 51:34
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think that's one of them?
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen shows like that.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen shows like that.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_03: That's not something that I was worried about, but now I am.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_03: Now you are so definitely a woman.
• 51:45
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry guys.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_03: I think I would just, you know, I feel like I could relate more to a woman.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_03: This is true.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_03: Than them knowing my struggles, them whatever they've gone through, it's probably something that I have or will go through.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Mmm.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_02: Um, I know a lot of guys that go to therapy and they they s they prefer a woman because of they're like they're more nurturing.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_02: It just feels that way, right?
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_02: Motherly.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: There you go.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: Motherly figure.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_02: And then um with women that go to therapy, uh, they like males because it's like they're they're getting that that daddy figure.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think that's a good thing.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, that father figure.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, right.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry, not that.
• 52:25
  SPEAKER_00: They got daddy issues, yes.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that they're getting that father figure, and that makes I guess that's their like copy making it was like their dad wasn't there to give them the right advice or wanted to hear.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 52:35
  SPEAKER_02: So because of a male figure around, a strong male figure that has that have let me tell you that got their things figured out.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 52:45
  SPEAKER_02: Like they're they're pretty good in life.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_02: That's what they want.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 52:49
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why it's so easy for women to talk to males.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_02: And this is coming from like women that I asked that went to therapy.
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_02: They they would rather have like male figures.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_03: Really?
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_02: And that was like a thing I was like, oh, I didn't know.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_02: I've never had it.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_03: It fixes something in them.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_03: It changes their perspective to see like they were used to seeing a man this way, but it's possible that a man can be like this, understanding, listening, relating to me.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it helped it healed something in them.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: Probably.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_02: Um, with your students, okay what attract what what uh gets attracted more to you?
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_02: The the little boys or the little girls?
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_02: Like what's the little boys, right?
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_03: One one boy was like, I don't even know if this is what you're asking, but one boy was like, Miss Tyler, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, no, that's see that's cute.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I think boy boys are attracted to you is because one, they could see you as like a big s an auntie, sister, or mother figure.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_02: And that's like that's that protection, you know?
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I think that's why because I know um my little nieces, they love their freaking like their male teachers or their you know the after school programs when they have I don't know what they're called, but I don't know what they're called, but okay, it's okay.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_02: The chaperones, I guess.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, but they the little girls tend to go to the guys because they're more uh protective over them.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I see.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm good with my girls too though, but the boys definitely gravitate towards me.
• 54:20
  SPEAKER_03: But our entire staff is women.
• 54:22
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, we're all women.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, so there's a you need diversity.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_03: We do, we do.
• 54:28
  SPEAKER_02: I'm calling your school be like, hey, I would like to diversitize.
• 54:36
  SPEAKER_02: Is it really?
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_03: I would say so.
• 54:38
  SPEAKER_03: I I think so, yes, yeah.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_02: Huh.
• 54:41
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to be a teacher one day?
• 54:43
  SPEAKER_03: No, I think my time, my time is coming to an end.
• 54:47
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm ready for something new.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_00: Are you?
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: But I love it.
• 54:50
  SPEAKER_03: I love interacting with the children, watching them grow.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_03: I just think I'm I'm ready to venture out.
• 54:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 54:58
  SPEAKER_03: But um, my family is filled with teachers.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_03: My sister actually just graduated.
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_03: Graduated and she's a fourth grade teacher now.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_02: Really?
• 55:07
  SPEAKER_02: On the mainland or here?
• 55:08
  SPEAKER_03: Here.
• 55:11
  SPEAKER_02: Take this back to your sister.
• 55:12
  SPEAKER_02: Ask her why mainland teachers, why are they walking out of the classrooms now?
• 55:19
  SPEAKER_03: Even here.
• 55:20
  SPEAKER_03: She was actually talking to me about it.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, yeah.
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_03: Our numbers are dropping.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_02: Is it is it the is it the kids?
• 55:27
  SPEAKER_03: Or is it the most kids are crazy?
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_02: Is it kids or is it they're not getting like the funding and they're not getting the um the support from you know the people in the background?
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_03: Ooh, okay.
• 55:42
  SPEAKER_03: Well, looking at my workplace and just what I've heard from my sister, I think it's a mix of everything.
• 55:47
  SPEAKER_03: I think maybe they're not getting just in general, not that emotional support.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_03: Teachers are definitely not getting paid enough.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_02: This is true.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_02: I I've been definitely not, and I've been agreeing on that for a long time.
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, some people walk out because they're getting better opportunities elsewhere, better pay, maybe in a different career.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_03: And the kids, you know, I mean, love them.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, I think it gets to a point and some people get um overworked and they're just burnt out.
• 56:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's a lot of work being a teacher.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I could I could you're messing with like I I don't know the ratio to a teacher to a to a student is, but I mean you're messing with like 29 individual brains.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a lot to take in.
• 56:33
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I bet.
• 56:35
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, I could just see you guys, it's like, oh you know what?
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_02: I don't want to talk about you no more.
• 56:38
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just tired of talking with this shit.
• 56:40
  SPEAKER_03: No, yeah, regulating all these little like strong personalities and how are you supposed to regulate your own?
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's a lot.
• 56:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I don't think it's all mental.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_03: I think a lot has to do with pay and whatnot.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_03: That's why our numbers are dropping.
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_02: Do you think if the pay was like say a higher, like let's say you got like a twenty eight percent raise, would that um motivate a teacher more?
• 57:07
  SPEAKER_03: 100%.
• 57:08
  SPEAKER_03: I think one of the biggest reasons is pay.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_03: So once that goes up, I think we would have more people coming in, more retention.
• 57:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, for sure.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_02: Are you the same way too?
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_02: Like money could make make you move a certain day.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I think so.
• 57:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_03: Money, people say, you know, money doesn't bring happiness, but 100%.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_02: Oh shit.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_02: I've I've never seen a freaking a happy poor person yet.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know, my daddy, like have you seen a have have you seen a happy poor person?
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_03: It brings the happiness, it really does.
• 57:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it does.
• 57:41
  SPEAKER_02: Let's be real.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_02: It it does.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_02: Having a little money in your pocket, yeah.
• 57:45
  SPEAKER_02: Damn, man, I could buy these freaking tacos right now.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_03: You need it.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 57:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's unfortunate, but you need that money to be happy.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, you do.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 57:55
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_03: You do.
• 57:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's hard out here.
• 57:58
  SPEAKER_03: That's why people aren't trying to be teachers like that.
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_02: Girl, it's out of here for a pimp.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_02: I'm serious.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so serious right now.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 58:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm so serious.
• 58:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's difficult.
• 58:06
  SPEAKER_02: But one thing that I can take back from living in Hawaii for the past X amount of years, is that you really need to know how to budget.
• 58:16
  SPEAKER_02: You can't just be you can't just be splurging.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, I splurge.
• 58:21
  SPEAKER_03: I need a budget.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_02: You need a budget?
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_03: I definitely need a budget.
• 58:25
  SPEAKER_02: If your man tells you um down the line when you have a man.
• 58:30
  unknown: Right.
• 58:32
  SPEAKER_02: Babe, uh, Tyler, Miss Tyler, whomever you want to be called.
• 58:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 58:36
  SPEAKER_02: You are spending a lot.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_02: You need to chill back with the spending.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_02: What's what's the re We're dating.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 58:46
  SPEAKER_02: Babe.
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_02: Um the fuck.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_02: You just spent like 300 bucks on some shoes.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_02: Why?
• 58:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's okay because it was your card.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: And there it is.
• 58:56
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna end it right here, folks.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_02: I'm I am pissed.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_02: Um uh we need this money for mortgage, babe.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_02: Why aren't, you know, why you know mortgage is up.
• 59:08
  SPEAKER_02: Why are you spending this money on these things?
• 59:10
  SPEAKER_03: Money comes, money goes.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_03: As you can see, I need a budget.
• 59:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um You know, I get I get myself what I want.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel like you're you work hard for it?
• 59:25
  SPEAKER_03: I I try my best.
• 59:26
  SPEAKER_03: I work hard, I have all these hustles.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 59:28
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I feel like I'm an expensive gal and I need a job in a man to support that.
• 59:34
  SPEAKER_03: Not that I need the man just for the money, but not until I see a man that can support me in that way would I feel like I feel like I do a lot for myself.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_03: And my man would have to do that tenfold, or else I wouldn't see a relationship worth it because I know I can provide a lot of things for myself.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_02: To sum it up, you know your worth.
• 59:58
  SPEAKER_03: I try to.
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it's a struggle.
• 1:00:01
  SPEAKER_02: Is it really?
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_03: It is, it is, 100%.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: Why do you think it's a struggle?
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_03: To know my worth?
• 1:00:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_02: Is it because like people don't know or they don't see it, but you see it in yourself?
• 1:00:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, sometimes I feel like people see it, but I don't.
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I feel like I'm very hard on myself.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, as humans and especially um people that we think highly of ourselves.
• 1:00:32
  SPEAKER_02: Not highly of ourselves, but it's like we're constantly telling ourselves, hey man, I could do better.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_02: I'm better than this.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: Excuse me.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_02: I think uh what you just said is totally valid.
• 1:00:43
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 1:00:44
  SPEAKER_02: Because we are we are our we are our worst critics.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_03: We are, we're the hardest on ourselves.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, comparison, the thief of joy.
• 1:00:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I I need to work on that because I I tend to compare myself a lot.
• 1:00:59
  SPEAKER_02: To other people?
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, anybody, anything.
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_03: It's hard.
• 1:01:03
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like it's easier to be like, I don't care, I'm a own person.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_03: Why does what they're doing impact me?
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_03: But it does sometimes, to be honest.
• 1:01:13
  SPEAKER_02: Tyler, as you get older, yes, this will go away.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I can't wait for it.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's gonna go away.
• 1:01:20
  SPEAKER_02: You'll be like, you know what?
• 1:01:21
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck that.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I try to take the steps to not compare, to not do any of that.
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_03: But sometimes I feel like it's inevitable.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_02: Do you spiral when you get deep into that comparison with that other person?
• 1:01:32
  SPEAKER_03: I try to catch myself.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_03: Good.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_03: I really do.
• 1:01:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's it's effort, it's something.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_03: I try not to let myself get too deep into it.
• 1:01:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_02: Shit.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_02: That's just deep.
• 1:01:45
  SPEAKER_03: Life, man.
• 1:01:46
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, life, life.
• 1:01:48
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, red flags and toxic and toxic city shit.
• 1:01:51
  SPEAKER_03: And comparison.
• 1:01:52
  SPEAKER_02: And comparison.
• 1:01:53
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, girl.
• 1:01:54
  SPEAKER_03: And karaoke machines.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_02: Karaoke machines and down payments to Philippine homes.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_03: Crazy.
• 1:02:00
  SPEAKER_03: 20K.
• 1:02:02
  SPEAKER_02: I was like, first off, first off, how the fuck you saved 20K?
• 1:02:05
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm saying.
• 1:02:06
  SPEAKER_03: I wish that was in my bank account.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, dang, you've been saving 600.
• 1:02:08
  SPEAKER_02: Not good at budgeting.
• 1:02:09
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely not good at budgeting.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, I used your cart.
• 1:02:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: Motherfucker.
• 1:02:14
  SPEAKER_02: That would piss me off.
• 1:02:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:02:16
  SPEAKER_02: That was fun.
• 1:02:17
  SPEAKER_03: That was so fun.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_02: That was super fun.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for coming on.
• 1:02:19
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, thank you.
• 1:02:21
  SPEAKER_02: Do you have any um shout-outs or anything?
• 1:02:23
  SPEAKER_02: Or where can these people uh find you at?
• 1:02:25
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you can find me on my main page at t.mconna on Instagram.
• 1:02:30
  SPEAKER_03: My fitness page.
• 1:02:32
  SPEAKER_03: Shiloh Jumpgirl.
• 1:02:34
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I'm trying to get back into it, but ticksta underscore tie.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_03: And then my business page for a side hustle.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_03: I make um jewelry of my own.
• 1:02:43
  SPEAKER_03: Let me know if you're a gold girly.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_03: I can be found at crystals.hi on Instagram.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_02: Hell yeah.
• 1:02:50
  SPEAKER_02: And then um, jewelry, do you do guys too?
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_02: Like earrings.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 1:02:54
  SPEAKER_03: I tend to get a lot of customs from guys like make me a necklace, Tahitian Pro necklace, bracelet, stuff like that.
• 1:03:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:01
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, I'm saying no.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, no.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you do earrings?
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_02: Do you do earrings?
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I do earrings.
• 1:03:07
  SPEAKER_02: Like stud studded earrings or nose rings.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_02: Just just like a little, just like little stuff.
• 1:03:12
  SPEAKER_02: Not not the loopies.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you do.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_02: But just like, you know, just like oh studs.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_03: Stud earrings, yeah.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I haven't gotten there yet.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, when you do, I'll I'll holler.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, let me know.
• 1:03:20
  SPEAKER_03: I make pieces like the one you're wearing.
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
• 1:03:22
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, yeah.
• 1:03:23
  SPEAKER_02: Um, do you know the meanings of these?
• 1:03:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, what what's the curse?
• 1:03:26
  SPEAKER_03: I know the bottom one, but what's the top one?
• 1:03:28
  SPEAKER_02: Obsidian.
• 1:03:29
  SPEAKER_03: Umyx.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_02: Obsidian slash onyx.
• 1:03:32
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like they have similar meanings.
• 1:03:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um, usually, do you know?
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what I'm that's what I'm asking you.
• 1:03:38
  SPEAKER_03: I know my stuff.
• 1:03:39
  SPEAKER_03: Very grounding protection, stuff like that.
• 1:03:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:43
  SPEAKER_03: Dark colors.
• 1:03:44
  SPEAKER_03: Dark colors tend to affiliate with those kind of meanings.
• 1:03:47
  SPEAKER_03: Being grounded, protected.
• 1:03:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_03: You let me know.
• 1:03:52
  SPEAKER_03: I got the answers.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 1:03:55
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta be dumb fucking bowls.
• 1:03:57
  SPEAKER_03: Like, what is this gonna be?
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
• 1:03:59
  SPEAKER_02: I it just looks nice.
• 1:04:00
  SPEAKER_03: I just I just went here.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_02: Running it?
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:04:03
  SPEAKER_02: It's all bad juju.
• 1:04:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 1:04:05
  SPEAKER_02: Um, shit.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_02: My shout out.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_02: Hey, uh, to my cousin Junior, thank you for the cap.
• 1:04:10
  SPEAKER_02: Um salmon fan sets go, thank you for the tea.
• 1:04:14
  SPEAKER_02: Um KO Studios, thank you for the lovely home.
• 1:04:16
  SPEAKER_02: Raffi Bye always, thank you for the lovely vibe.
• 1:04:19
  SPEAKER_02: And with that being said, I'm Chris.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm Tyler.
• 1:04:21
  SPEAKER_02: And we got this bitch.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_02: Peace.
• 1:04:23
  SPEAKER_03: Peace.
• 1:04:25
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_02: And we done.