Latest / The Daily Sarcast / October 30th, 2026: A Mistake Death Of A Baby, The Economy, And A Lindsey Life Update

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October 30th, 2026: A Mistake Death Of A Baby, The Economy, And A Lindsey Life Update · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  One, all the benefits of Ozempic without actually taking Ozempic?
• 0:04
  Introducing Mental Ozempic, the revolutionary new medication that is not a medication.
• 0:09
  It's literally nothing.
• 0:11
  Here's how it works. You tell yourself you're on Ozempic and your brain does the rest.
• 0:15
  Suddenly, you're not hungry. You're full after three bites. You walk past a
• 0:19
  bakery and don't even look at it.
• 0:21
  You open Uber Eats and stare at the menu and close the app.
• 0:24
  Is it science? Is it the placebo effect? Is it just you remembering that your
• 0:28
  credit card is maxed out? You'll never know.
• 0:32
  Mental Ozempic also reminds you throughout the day that you're on Ozempic,
• 0:35
  so you don't forget to act like you're on Ozempic.
• 0:38
  And the best part? No injections, no prescription, no medication, and no actual Ozempic.
• 0:44
  Possible side effects include believing you're thinner, telling everyone you're
• 0:47
  on Ozempic, and getting furious when you discover your friend is taking the
• 0:51
  real Ozempic and losing weight way faster than you.
• 0:54
  Mantlozempic. The drug that's all in your head. Literally.
• 0:58
  Consult your imagination before starting treatment. Results may vary depending
• 1:02
  on how delusional you are.
• 1:04
  Well, in the late 70s, I was a little too young to go to South America for the Jonestown Massacre.
• 1:10
  But this is as close as I'll ever get. So that's why I'm here.
• 1:13
  There's nothing like seeing a cult right up front.
• 1:16
  A Trump rally attendee on Fox News. Insert theme song here. This is the Daily
• 1:22
  Starcast. I give you the news and maybe you'll laugh.
• 1:25
  I'm Lindsay Wernick and today is October 30th, 2026. Boo!
• 1:29
  Happy Halloween! Whenever it's Halloween, I used to think of this bowl that
• 1:34
  my mom had growing up I'm sure you remember this it used to like we put candy
• 1:40
  in it and it was like this fake little mechanical hand
• 1:44
  that like pretended to reach in and it would say want.
• 1:48
  Some candy take a treat and it would like freak kids out because there's this
• 1:53
  like hand in the bowl and it was gonna like snap your hand from you taking candy
• 1:57
  but it didn't obviously actually anyway all right moving on in real news,
• 2:03
  okay i'm not sure if you remember this one but there was this little toddler
• 2:06
  in arizona that was pronounced dead at a hospital then sent to the morgue and
• 2:11
  then found alive more than five hours later and somehow this is only the beginning of the story,
• 2:18
  so there was this little 18th month old vincent and he was found face down in
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  his family's swimming pool on February 8th during a Super Bowl party in Gilbert, Arizona.
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  He was rushed to Mercy Gilbert Medical Center, where doctors tried to revive him.
• 2:33
  But then at 6.20 p.m., he was pronounced dead.
• 2:37
  And this is when things get really creepy. So his family members and police
• 2:41
  officers started questioning whether Vincent was still breathing,
• 2:45
  and they were told that the sounds they heard were agnobreathing,
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  which can happen when someone was dying.
• 2:52
  But Vince's family says they continued to believe that something was wrong then.
• 2:57
  There was a blood gas test that was ordered to check Vincent's oxygen levels,
• 3:01
  but the test was canceled for some bizarre reason.
• 3:05
  Blood samples were collected, and police officers were heard asking hospital
• 3:08
  staff whether the test results were available. They weren't.
• 3:12
  So Vincent was pronounced dead at 6.20 p.m., but the test results didn't come back until 6.38 p.m.
• 3:19
  That was 18 minutes after he had already been declared dead,
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  which doesn't make any sense.
• 3:25
  His family's attorney is questioning how the doctor could have relied on those
• 3:28
  results when making decisions about Vincent's care before they were available.
• 3:33
  The family is also questioning why his core body temperature wasn't checked
• 3:36
  and why warming measures weren't performed.
• 3:39
  Anyway, so after he was pronounced dead, five hours later, someone from the
• 3:43
  medical examiner's office came to pick up his body,
• 3:46
  and then he noticed that there was movement under the sheet this guy obviously
• 3:50
  freaked out and got the hospital staff and then vincent was rushed to phoenix children's hospital,
• 3:56
  like let that sink in a toddler was pronounced dead spent more than five hours
• 4:02
  in a hospital morgue and was then rushed to another hospital because he was
• 4:06
  still alive like that's literally out of a horror movie.
• 4:10
  I genuinely don't know how you process that as a parent or literally as anyone.
• 4:16
  So Vincent survived, but he suffered a severe brain injury caused by a lack of oxygen.
• 4:21
  His family says he has significant neurological problems, he can't walk,
• 4:26
  and he has not regained his speech and will require extensive care for the rest of his life.
• 4:31
  His mother finally spoke publicly about the ordeal for the first time this past month.
• 4:37
  She described the trauma of being of believing that she lost her baby only discovered
• 4:41
  hours later that he was still alive,
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  and she was talking about how the aftermath has been devastating because vincent
• 4:48
  is still here but her family's life has changed completely and now his parents
• 4:52
  are demanding accountability i mean as they should,
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  the family has launched a petition calling for the doctor to be removed from
• 4:59
  patient care an independent investigation decisive employment in action and
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  answers about what happened.
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  Their attorney says the family plans to pursue legal action against the doctor
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  and Mercy Gilbert Medical Center.
• 5:12
  The hospital obviously isn't commenting on what happened, but released a statement
• 5:17
  saying that patient safety and exceptional care are its highest priorities.
• 5:22
  There's also a criminal investigation going on, but there's no update on that just yet.
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  But I do think that we can all agree on that patient safety is our highest priority.
• 5:32
  Should mean a little more than a sentence and a press release.
• 5:35
  We have some new economic numbers, and apparently the economy is doing pretty
• 5:39
  well, which is interesting because I would love to meet these people experiencing this economy.
• 5:45
  The U.S. economy grew at an annual rate of 3.4% in the third quarter of this
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  year, covering July through September.
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  That's up from 2.2% in the previous quarter.
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  A big reason for that growth is because companies are investing billions of
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  dollars in AI and building data centers.
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  Consumer spending is also helping drive the economy.
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  So the economy is growing, tech companies are spending billions on AI,
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  and I have to decide if I can afford to order guacamole.
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  But here's the problem. Just because the economy is growing doesn't mean everyone
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  is feeling the benefits.
• 6:19
  Inflation rose to 3.6% in September compared with a year earlier.
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  And while prices aren't rising as quickly as they did during the inflation spike
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  a few years ago, that doesn't mean suddenly everything just got cheaper.
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  It means that things are getting more expensive just at a slower rate,
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  which is a very fun distinction when you're standing at the grocery store wondering
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  how you spent $80 on six items and a rotisserie chicken.
• 6:44
  Salaries have also struggled to keep up with inflation, as I'm sure you know,
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  and lower-income households are having a harder time than wealthier Americans.
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  People are having to cut back on restaurants, delaying home repairs,
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  and living paycheck to paycheck. I mean, I wouldn't know anything about that.
• 6:59
  The personal savings rate dropped to 3.8% in September, down from 4.1% in August.
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  So people are spending way more of what they earn instead of being able to put it away.
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  However, the Federal Reserve is holding interest rates steady this week,
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  but we'll see if inflation keeps climbing.
• 7:19
  Higher interest rates can help make inflation get better, but they also make
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  borrowing money more expensive.
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  And all of this is happening right before the big election on November 3rd,
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  and everyone's just focused on affordability and the cost of living.
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  So basically, the economy is doing well, the midterms are coming up,
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  but a lot of people just aren't feeling it.
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  It's like getting a great performance review at work and then finding out your
• 7:43
  paycheck still can't cover rent.
• 7:45
  The economy may be growing, but my checking account would like to see some evidence.
• 7:50
  In sports news, the Milwaukee Brewers won the World Series for the first time
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  ever, which means that Milwaukee sports fans can finally stop telling people
• 8:00
  about the time that they almost won in 1982.
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  So the Brewers beat Tampa Bay Rays 4-1 on Wednesday, and they won the championship.
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  And they didn't just get lucky. Like, they won 103 games during the regular season.
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  Like, it's a lot of games if you don't know a lot about baseball,
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  which I don't, obviously.
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  So now they finally get their big championship parade, which is great news for
• 8:25
  Milwaukee and terrible news for anyone who planned to get anything done in Milwaukee this week.
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  So after 57 years, they finally brought home the trophy.
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  Go Milwaukee.
• 8:36
  Where is that on a map? I don't even know. Do you?
• 8:39
  In Lindsay life. I don't know. Not that much. Not many exciting things are happening
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  for me in my little world.
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  I spent my morning yesterday at doctor's appointments and my afternoon at my
• 8:51
  mom working on my computer.
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  And then I got to see my roommate Gabby perform in Gramercy last night.
• 8:59
  I love when she's home and I get to watch her perform. It's so much fun.
• 9:03
  So yeah, just another day of unemployment in Lindsay World.
• 9:07
  An MVP this week goes to the town of Westfield, New Jersey, which has decided
• 9:13
  that regular Halloween decorations are people with no imagination.
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  Like, this town literally turns into a Halloween town.
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  It's the hometown of Charles Adams, the guy who created the Adams family,
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  and every year, this town celebrates his legacy with Adams family-themed events,
• 9:31
  a lot of spooky decorations, themed storefronts, a lot of art exhibits,
• 9:36
  and even a masquerade ball.
• 9:38
  So while everyone else in the country is putting a plastic skeleton on their
• 9:42
  front porch and calling it a day, this entire town is basically auditioning
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  to live in the Adams Mansion.
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  Like, these people are building an elaborate haunted nightmare,
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  and you're over here with a scarecrow from HomeGoods.
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  The town's festival is called Adams Fest, and it turns the whole place into
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  a celebration of all things weird, creepy, and, like, super gothic.
• 10:06
  More towns should be doing this, right? Like, we spend so much of the year trying
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  to look normal and just get by and pretend that we're doing fine.
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  But it's nice to see an entire community deciding to be a little unsettling.
• 10:19
  So Westfield, New Jersey, you are this week's MVP because if you're going to,
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  celebrate Halloween, you might as well make the neighbors wonder if your family
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  has been cursed for generations.
• 10:29
  Cooking tip of the day. Invite your friend over for dinner and then when he
• 10:35
  gets there, tell him that you have no idea how to cook and then have him make the dinner.
• 10:41
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date.
• 10:44
  Email me at lindsay at thedailystarcast.com.
• 10:47
  Have a great Halloween weekend stay safe out there have fun eat lots of candy
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  and I will talk to you guys on Monday oh and also good luck to all the New York
• 10:58
  City marathoners super excited for that.