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Mojo Mondays: Mindset Tool #4 Beyond the Lens - The Power of Perspective Taking · Hardiness with Dr Paul Taylor

• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Paul Tayler Podcast. So today there's actually
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: no Paul. There's just me so referred to by Paul
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: as coach Carli. So welcome everybody. So Paul. What happened
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: was Paul released our mojo Monday on Saturday. So this
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: was a mistake, of course, but so thank you to
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: everyone who listened and was probably slightly confused given it
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: was Saturday. But we've decided to do another mojo Monday
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: and actually release it on Monday. But Paul is away
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: in Brisbane doing what he does best, talking as talking
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: to a corporate group up there, so we thought, rather
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: than just leave it, yours truly would do the episode.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: So I want to delve into the power of perspective.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Taking My daughter Kira once said to me that she'd
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: often get so frustrated when she was little at my
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: response if she was ever having trouble at school with
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: her friends, so she'd come home, you know, she'd be
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: in the car and maybe she was complaining, and all
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: she wanted was for me to validate that she was
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: right and being hard done by and that they were wrong.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: And rather than doing that, I would try to teach
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: her things from their perspective, So maybe they were tired,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: or maybe having problems at home, or maybe they're taught
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: different sort of values to us. And now she's eighteen,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: she's actually thanked me as now she does try and
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: look at things from the perspective of others rather than
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: jumping into sort of a conclusion or taking a righteous
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: sort of judgmental stance. And I often refer to and
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: I love the metaphor of the camera lens. So if
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: you imagine your mind as a camera lens, and it's
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: capable of capturing the world around you. And at times
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: this lens may be focused narrowly, sort of limiting your
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: view to what's directly in front of you. But what
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: if you could actually widen that perspective and go on
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: what you shift the lens from a normal lens to panoramic,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden, we're seeing things from
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a bigger picture. And you know, it's easy to really
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: get caught up in our own perspectives. And I could
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: recall many times in my life where I wish I
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: had widened my perspective, and because I didn't, there have
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: been times where the outcome could have could have probably
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: turned out differently, but we're all on this journey and
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: I've certainly learned from that and have definitely grown from
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  Speaker 1: the things that I also regret. You know, we few
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: situations through this lens of our own experience and our
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: own beliefs and biases, and it's good to really recognize that,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: you know, to be aware that, just like a camera lens,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: our perspective can be adjusted. This is where sort of
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: psychological flexibility comes in. So if you can consciously practice
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: perspective taking, we can expand our view and gain this
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: sort of deeper understanding of the people in our lives
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and the world around us. Let's look at a really
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: simple example. So imagine you're stuck in traffic and you're
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: really frustrated and impatient. If you look at this through
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: a narrow lens, all you see other cars ahead of you,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: You see the congestion and the fact that you're going
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: to be late. This is a major inconvenience to you.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: But what if you zoomed out to panoramic What if
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: you see there's an accident that someone's life has suddenly
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: been taken, maybe they've been seriously injured. You know, think
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: about all the people that this is going to affect.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: So suddenly your perspective shifts. You realize that beyond the
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: inconvenience to you, there is another story, a different story
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: to the narrow lens viewpoint that you originally thought. And
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: perspective taking isn't just about seeing things from a different angle.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: It's about empathizing with others and understanding their viewpoints. And
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I guess this is the thing that I was trying
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: to teach my kids when they were little, And it's
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: not about whether you agree or disagree with what they're doing.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: It's just about understanding and recognizing that there's more. Often
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: there's more to a situation or a person than our
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: initial judgment suggests. So this is a skill and we
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: can develop this skill in our daily lives. So one
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  Speaker 1: thing that you can do is start by really actively
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: listening to others and just try to push your judgment
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: aside or try not to focus on your judgments. You know,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: it might come up and you can recognize that and
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: go okay, yep, I can I can feel myself judging
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  Speaker 1: this person and then just let it be there while
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: you go back and to really listen to them to understand.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: You know, this is about putting yourself in their shoes
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: and trying to understand their feelings and their motivations, whether
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: you agree with them or not. And it's also about
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: challenging our own assumptions and our biases, and you've got
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: to be aware of those. You've got to be aware
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: of your biases obviously first to be able to challenge them,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and really importantly is approach every situation with an open
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: mind and a willingness to learn. So to wrap this up,
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  Speaker 1: I invite you to reflect on your own perspectives. So
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: maybe you are going through a challenging situation now, maybe
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: it's an argument with a friend or family member, or
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: maybe there's a situation that you're really struggling with. Have
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: a think about how you're viewing the situation. Are you
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: viewing this through a narrow lens or are you expanding
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: your view through a panoramic lens. And practicing this perspective taking,
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  Speaker 1: we can really enrich our lives and we can deepen
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: our connection with others and ultimately create a more compassionate
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: and understanding world. So thank you for listening, and as always,
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: if you love the podcast, please leave a review and
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: consider subscribing so you get updates on the new episodes
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: because this helps us grow the podcast and help others
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: find it. Hope you have a great week. See you,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: oh boy.