Latest / The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten / All About Blowjobs And Why You Didn't Know This Stuff Before

Transcript

All About Blowjobs And Why You Didn't Know This Stuff Before · The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

• 0:05
  Hi everybody, and welcome to the doctor psych mom show before I
• 0:10
  get to my topic of today. Oral sex, which I predict is
• 0:13
  going to be a hit and very well listened to.
• 0:18
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• 0:22
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• 0:28
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  there's over 50 of us. And they're now talking about,
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  interesting topics all the time and away from the prying eyes of
• 0:53
  your friends and family. So today we're going to jump
• 0:56
  into this topic because I have realized that many of the
• 1:01
  miscommunications around oral sex in my couples.
• 1:05
  Ants. And when individual clients talk
• 1:07
  to me about their travails with oral sex within their
• 1:12
  relationship. A lot of these come because men
• 1:15
  don't ever tell women what they want.
• 1:19
  You may think you're the man that does, you're probably not.
• 1:22
  So and I also do want to say that I'm not going to talk about
• 1:25
  oral sex on women. In this episode, I will save
• 1:29
  that for a subscription episode that I will do in the next few
• 1:32
  episodes. So if you didn't have enough of
• 1:34
  a reason, To subscribe. I will be doing a paid episode
• 1:38
  on oral sex for women, which is not the same thing as oral sex
• 1:41
  for men. Not even at all, not the same,
• 1:44
  even genre of activity in any emotional or physical sense.
• 1:49
  So when men complain about not getting oral sex from their
• 1:54
  wives. I mean every no actually I
• 1:57
  really I'm going to start this as though.
• 1:59
  Women are martians because the amount of crazy misinformation
• 2:05
  Emission that I've heard about oral sex.
• 2:07
  Like would make you think that women are from another planet?
• 2:09
  Now, I'm a woman, I love women. I'm not saying anything to
• 2:11
  insult. Any women.
• 2:12
  What I'm saying is that men do not tell women what they want
• 2:17
  and women don't like look up how to give a man, a blowjob.
• 2:20
  The same way as men. Don't look up, how to like write
• 2:24
  a woman. A really romantic anniversary
• 2:26
  card, right? So for all the guys who are
• 2:28
  like, well, why isn't she researching oral sex on men?
• 2:31
  Because I research oral sex on women.
• 2:33
  Yeah. Do you also research like How to
• 2:36
  give a romantic toast at your anniversary dinner?
• 2:39
  I mean, if you do then you just Jesus Christ himself and you
• 2:42
  walk on water, you know. But most people really do not
• 2:46
  research stuff that doesn't even occur to them, you know, to
• 2:50
  research. So that's why women don't look
• 2:52
  this stuff up and that's where I come in.
• 2:55
  So what don't? All right, let that let's go
• 2:59
  Baseline. What are some of the crazy
• 3:02
  things I've heard? Women think about oral sex one.
• 3:05
  That it might hurt them like that.
• 3:10
  It is. It is supposed to be some
• 3:11
  extremely difficult, ownerís Endeavor, that would be related
• 3:17
  to lots of mouth problems. And the people say I have a
• 3:22
  small mouth. I have you know, I don't even
• 3:26
  know what carpal tunnel of the tongue.
• 3:27
  I don't know what but they think it's going to hurt a lot.
• 3:30
  Misinformation doesn't hurt. Also women think that a blow job
• 3:35
  is Anytime that your mouth touches a penis, there was a
• 3:38
  funny scene in Philip, Roth's portnoy's, complaint about this,
• 3:42
  and many to half-century later. There are still the same
• 3:46
  misconception that even if you just put your mouth around it,
• 3:49
  then you gave a blowjob know you didn't.
• 3:51
  Then there's this idea that a blow job is only for very
• 3:54
  special occasions. I knew somebody whose wife only
• 3:56
  did it by candlelight for his birthday.
• 3:59
  That is also not what it's intended for in any way.
• 4:04
  Then there is The fact that it is in some way, I've even heard
• 4:09
  harmful to swallow wrong again. There are digestive enzymes in
• 4:13
  our stomachs and also that the the most important one here is
• 4:19
  that this is something that men want only as like a special
• 4:26
  cherry on top thing and it is right also before intercourse.
• 4:32
  So never to completion. That's some.
• 4:35
  Poor no shit. And basically what it is, is
• 4:38
  maybe giving a blowjob could happen, you know?
• 4:43
  Maybe every few months, but it would always be foreplay.
• 4:47
  So you do it for like, five minutes and then you have
• 4:50
  intercourse. So, a lot of women, think the
• 4:53
  idea of a blowjob to completion is just some crazy porn stuff
• 4:57
  that nobody really does. And if you're a woman that
• 5:02
  understands all of the above is not true and not real, Well,
• 5:05
  then pat yourself on the back and tell your husband that, you
• 5:08
  know, he's lucky to have you. But if you have thought any of
• 5:11
  these things, you are not alone because this is stuff that I
• 5:14
  hear from extremely educated. Smart insightful.
• 5:16
  Women that just don't know anything about oral sex.
• 5:19
  Been, I'll get to why they don't, but none of that stuff is
• 5:23
  accurate. Oh, and also the idea that a
• 5:26
  blowjob to completion is means that you, you take your mouth
• 5:33
  off it at the end. That's also not To completion.
• 5:36
  That's not what the guy means. He could be like, okay, with
• 5:38
  that versus a different thing called, you're not giving him a
• 5:42
  blowjob. But that isn't what I mean by
• 5:45
  completion. They mean that you finish that
• 5:47
  they finish in your mouth, that's what a blowjob to
• 5:49
  completion is. And then you either spit it out
• 5:52
  if that's again, not preferred, or you swallow it and some guys
• 5:57
  do want to see it or whatever, but most guys would like to
• 6:00
  finish in your mouth, that's called to completion.
• 6:03
  So if you did not know, Do any of the above?
• 6:06
  Then again, consider yourself in Good Company among many smart
• 6:10
  women. That don't know it.
• 6:10
  Now, let's get to why they don't know it because this same thing
• 6:14
  I'm saying all the time, guys have this scarcity idea that
• 6:18
  there's so little sex on offer that they have to say yes to
• 6:22
  like shitty sex. And I've talked about this in
• 6:24
  other episodes that you should stop doing this, you know,
• 6:28
  because it was the episode about what should you do if you're
• 6:30
  offered unenthusiastic sex. So it's the same thing, but a
• 6:33
  blow job so many I just want a blowjob so bad.
• 6:37
  Oh, another myth. Another myth is that like, only
• 6:40
  some guys want blowjobs, right? Every woman thinks this, by the
• 6:44
  way, like, I have guys have, like, male clients, who say, oh,
• 6:48
  women know that guys won't blow jobs all the time.
• 6:50
  No, they don't. That's you.
• 6:52
  Not empathizing. That's like how surprised you
• 6:56
  would be to know that a woman thinks you should bring her
• 6:59
  flowers home every day from work.
• 7:01
  You would think, why would I bring home flowers every day?
• 7:03
  What a waste of time and money. Like who would even want that?
• 7:06
  That's how she thinks about the blow job the same way.
• 7:09
  You think about flowers, special occasion anyway, back to the
• 7:12
  topic at hand. Why do women not know anything
• 7:17
  about blowjobs? Because men are so scared that
• 7:21
  the woman's going to stop even touching your penis at all.
• 7:23
  That they don't clear up any of these myths.
• 7:26
  So the woman goes down there. She uses her mouth only.
• 7:33
  Well, let me clear that one up. I'll just These as I think of
• 7:36
  them clear up these myths don't only use your mouth right
• 7:39
  because that's going to hurt. That's why you think this is
• 7:42
  such an onerous task like Sisyphus, you know, cause you're
• 7:46
  not only supposed to use your mouth, you're supposed to use,
• 7:49
  mostly your hand with spit. That's how you're supposed to do
• 7:52
  that and then you use your mouth on the top on the head.
• 7:57
  That's a blow job. That's the best kitchen.
• 7:59
  If you want to go all deep throat, crazy.
• 8:01
  That is genuine poor. No shit.
• 8:03
  So if you want to do that, if you To do some deep throat
• 8:06
  stuff, that's cool. But that's not necessary.
• 8:09
  And if you think that that is what is required and that's why
• 8:12
  you're not doing it. Welcome to Heaven, you never
• 8:15
  have to worry about it again, because that is not required in
• 8:19
  any sense of what it is in any way to give a blow job, right?
• 8:24
  So if you use mostly your hand, then you don't get as tired.
• 8:28
  So that's magic. But anyhow, so what women think
• 8:31
  is something like? Okay, I'm going to go go down on
• 8:34
  him. Even like the phraseology could
• 8:37
  be misleading. So go down there with their
• 8:40
  head, they put it in their mouth, they move their head
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  around a little bit. They try not to, you know, taste
• 8:46
  anything or think or touch anything because they're so
• 8:48
  disgusted which we could get into to why's this so discussing
• 8:52
  you've changed diapers. I mean things, you know, you've
• 8:54
  done other things. So why is this one?
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  So disgusting, probably just because you tell yourself, it's
• 8:58
  disgusting. But anyway, and the guy thinks.
• 9:01
  Okay. Okay.
• 9:02
  Don't fuck it up. Don't say anything.
• 9:04
  This is literally the worst. Worst blow job I've ever
• 9:06
  received in my whole life but don't say anything.
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  Don't ruin it. It's better than nothing.
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  It's better than nothing. No, it isn't.
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  And every single time that you let this shit go on.
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  It's the same as a woman. Faking an orgasm.
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  I tell women all the time. Don't fake an orgasm?
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  Because he never gets better. He never learns how to actually
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  give you an orgasm. Seeing things.
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  Stop expecting a woman to understand how to give you a
• 9:27
  better blow job when you've never told her.
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  And then when she takes her head off of it after 5 minutes during
• 9:33
  which, you know, closer to having Orgasm than you were
• 9:36
  before you. Probably further away.
• 9:37
  She says, how was it? You said, oh, is wonderful
• 9:40
  honey. It was great.
• 9:41
  So, it wasn't you liar, right? And this is why it's your fault
• 9:46
  that you keep getting bad blow jobs.
• 9:48
  Because for all, you know, you could say to her, actually this
• 9:51
  is how you do it. This is what I like women
• 9:54
  actually. Ask their husbands, is this what
• 9:56
  you like? Am I doing this, right?
• 9:57
  Because they terrible like date. They can see and hear and feel.
• 10:02
  They're not stupid but he says oh yeah, that's fine.
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  No, it's not fine. So therefore they never learn
• 10:08
  how to do it better. So they never have a Mastery
• 10:10
  experience of you thinking. It's awesome and therefore
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  nothing ever improves in. This doesn't become part of your
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  sex life because she feels awkward and you feel kind of
• 10:20
  hopeless and weird and the whole thing goes to shit, right?
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  So men do not instruct women and what a blow job actually is
• 10:28
  because they're terrified to never get one again.
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  Yet, they're not being real with themselves that what they're
• 10:34
  getting is. Really not better than no
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  blowjob. And this is a lot of men in this
• 10:38
  situation that I hear about. So to recap, women have no idea
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  what they're supposed to do with a blow job.
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  They don't watch porn. Even if they do watch porn, if
• 10:49
  you get the wrong poor know. You're going to think that he's
• 10:52
  supposed to be deepthroating. You while your head is hanging
• 10:54
  off the bed, you're just going to turn that shit off and go
• 10:56
  under the covers and Shake did so terrifying right?
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  That actually would hurt. You don't need to be doing that
• 11:03
  though. There is no Reason to be doing
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  that. When you could just be giving a
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  regular positive, good blowjob that your husband, instruct you
• 11:12
  how to do, but if he doesn't, then you have no information to
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  do it. So again, if you are a man, what
• 11:19
  you want to take away from this is you have to direct her and
• 11:22
  instructor on how to give a blow job.
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  Otherwise you're the reason you're getting a bad blow job.
• 11:27
  You you and only you are the reason and if she says to you
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  but why didn't you tell me this 15 years ago?
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  You say because I'm terrified Because I'm really terrified to
• 11:37
  do anything wrong. I love you so much, I don't want
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  you to get this illusion, so it's really my bad and it's all
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  on me. I'm stupid.
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  That's why that is white because I'm stupid because I was scared.
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  And so, you know, if you're married that woman the most
• 11:51
  wonderful effort, DJ I can stay here you fall on your sword and
• 11:55
  say how stupid you are. So already, she will be back in
• 11:58
  the mood, probably at a even more intensely in the mood than
• 12:01
  before. So this is what you have to
• 12:05
  learn from this women. If you're listening, hopefully I
• 12:08
  have gotten rid of many myths. You the one thing to remember a
• 12:12
  blow job is supposed to be to completion.
• 12:14
  You're allowed to use your hand. Oh, and another, these just
• 12:18
  occurred to me and occurred to me as I talk.
• 12:20
  Which is why it is would be so useful for me to write notes,
• 12:25
  but I can't do that because if I did that, all of these would
• 12:29
  take about five times as long, and I wouldn't want to do it
• 12:32
  anymore, so I'm just going to do it as I think of it.
• 12:35
  So if you by the way, if you want to give a blow job and you
• 12:39
  don't want it to last forever and ever.
• 12:42
  How about foreplay? So women need for play men also
• 12:45
  need for play. If you are having sex or you are
• 12:51
  touching, or you are manually stimulating your husband or
• 12:54
  anything before the blow job, then, guess what?
• 12:57
  The blow jobs going to be shorter, right?
• 13:00
  Because he's already turned on. So if you don't Also have to
• 13:05
  have oral sex only before sex, you can have sex and then stop
• 13:10
  and give oral sex. And this could be obviously both
• 13:13
  ways. I am not talking about oral sex
• 13:15
  for women right now because that's a paid only episode
• 13:17
  that's going to come up but women never do this.
• 13:21
  I don't know. Alright, not they never listen,
• 13:23
  she's plenty of women who were great in bed and do all sorts of
• 13:26
  shit, but if you're listening to this episode and any of this
• 13:29
  resonates with you, then you are, you know, then you are the
• 13:32
  one who needs some of this information.
• 13:34
  I'm sure this play people. School me and blow jobs to but
• 13:37
  everything's along a spectrum. But once you get up to, you
• 13:41
  know, a certain level of knowledge, you become much more
• 13:44
  confident. So that is what I'm trying to
• 13:46
  give you here. Is if understanding that your
• 13:50
  husband's inability to communicate what he really
• 13:52
  wanted, because he's terrified that you stop doing what you are
• 13:55
  already doing. Has hampered your sex life to
• 13:58
  the point that it was really not a positive experience
• 14:03
  necessarily for either of you. Plus, he's always like lying to
• 14:07
  preserve your feelings, right? Because think about it, you
• 14:09
  know, this is so funny if you think about it because your
• 14:12
  husband I'm sure his watch porn in his life and then at some
• 14:14
  point like an idiot, you know like all of us do you sit but
• 14:18
  just not what you really want right?
• 14:21
  Like those girls that's not what you really want.
• 14:23
  You could have said, bin said the stuff in your twenties
• 14:25
  whatever and whatever guy you were with he knows what side his
• 14:28
  bread is buttered on. So he says oh no of course
• 14:31
  that's not what I really want. That's just porn.
• 14:35
  That's what I really want. Is you so guess what that idiot
• 14:39
  did right? He didn't know.
• 14:41
  He thought he was saying, I don't necessarily need a girl
• 14:44
  with Jacob boobs, who weighs 3 pounds and has bleach blond
• 14:48
  hair, right? That's what he thought he was
• 14:50
  answering. But with the woman here, is it.
• 14:52
  So I don't need to do that porn star sex, which includes oral
• 14:56
  cool. He loves me for me, so he threw
• 14:59
  the baby out with the bathwater there, right?
• 15:01
  And so many women, do you have no idea?
• 15:05
  And the man, reassured them in many ways that made them have
• 15:08
  even less of an idea about how important oral sex is.
• 15:12
  And by the way, if you want the emotional reasons for why oral
• 15:15
  sex is important, I link to that in my description.
• 15:19
  I've written about that. But it's like one of the only
• 15:21
  times that the guy really gets to get taken care of, in bed,
• 15:24
  most of the time. He's doing his thing, he's
• 15:26
  trying to make the woman happy to try to give her an orgasm.
• 15:29
  He's trying to, you know, have sex with her, that it's
• 15:31
  fulfilling to her. And that will make her want to
• 15:33
  do it again. And so this is the only time
• 15:36
  that he really gets to feel like he's getting taken care of.
• 15:39
  And also it's very erotic, there could be a power differential
• 15:44
  way less than women thing. You know way fewer guys want to
• 15:47
  like use their penis as a punishment, you know for a woman
• 15:53
  like this is the most people are not doing any crazy BDSM shit,
• 15:56
  even if they are it within the context of a loving
• 15:59
  relationship. So some women are like you,
• 16:03
  well, I'm a good feminist so I don't want to Get on my knees
• 16:05
  and do whatever. First of all, like you don't
• 16:07
  even have to be on your knees, just pragmatically.
• 16:10
  And second of all, this has nothing to do with anything many
• 16:13
  guys, just like to be taken care of, which is the exact opposite
• 16:17
  of dominating. And I don't, I really know.
• 16:20
  So few men who feel dominant in their married sex lives.
• 16:24
  I think that's about the last adjectives.
• 16:26
  They would choose. It would be after hopeless. 0
• 16:31
  agency, completely hamstrung. Buy anything she wants to do
• 16:36
  ever, you know, like it really there's not many guys who are
• 16:39
  like really wanting to degrade their wives via the twice a year
• 16:45
  oral sex that they get. So we could just take that one
• 16:47
  out and put that into the bucket of Mythology.
• 16:51
  So so anyway, so yes to sum up. There are many emotional
• 16:55
  reasons, physically, it also feels better like for many men,
• 16:59
  especially as men get older, they have less, you know,
• 17:02
  ability to just come like Readily.
• 17:05
  So it's more stimulation, which they like more.
• 17:08
  It's and when you say it's not more simulation because he never
• 17:11
  comes from oral sex. Even though I'm trying if you're
• 17:13
  trying and he never comes from oral sex.
• 17:16
  I'm telling you, it's the hand thing that's like the easiest
• 17:19
  fix. Because if you're not using the
• 17:21
  hand, there's not enough stimulation.
• 17:23
  Then it, you know, he needs to use some other thing.
• 17:27
  Also, a lot of guys are jerking off, even though I tell you not
• 17:30
  to jerk off within marriage. There's plenty of women who
• 17:33
  don't want me to say that because then, Going to have to
• 17:35
  give more sex. So if your husband with his hand
• 17:39
  is jerking off, which is stronger than your hand, like
• 17:41
  all the time, it's amazing you could come from sex at all.
• 17:45
  If you think about it and it's certainly not going to be from
• 17:47
  your mouth, which is not super strong.
• 17:50
  So that is the Practical reason to use your hand during a blow
• 17:53
  job. If you want to hear more about
• 17:56
  why I think masturbation is not good with in married sex, then
• 17:59
  if you're trying to work on your sex life and if your sex life
• 18:02
  isn't so great, then I have a podcast about that.
• 18:05
  To. But if any of the things that I
• 18:07
  have said about oral sex resonate with you, share this
• 18:11
  podcast with your partner. So many people do not understand
• 18:15
  what this is. They don't understand that the
• 18:18
  man wants oral sex as a part of the regular sex life.
• 18:22
  So many men go down on their wife before every encounter
• 18:25
  because that's the only way she has an orgasm but because he can
• 18:29
  still come from sex. She thinks that he does not need
• 18:32
  oral sex. So this is You know, unfair
• 18:37
  because if he likes it, then just because he can come from
• 18:40
  regular sex then he doesn't. And this goes along with the
• 18:43
  idea that women think that sex is all about the orgasm for the
• 18:47
  man. So if he allows her to think
• 18:49
  that by just basically doing anything, you know, like having
• 18:54
  like the most boring routine sex after he's gone down on her for
• 18:57
  an hour, then for his own orgasm, then he's going along
• 19:01
  with this idea and he is reiterating get Amplifying it in
• 19:05
  her mind that? Yes, it really is just all about
• 19:08
  that, two seconds of his orgasm. And it isn't.
• 19:11
  It isn't that isn't what any man wants, but they don't feel like
• 19:14
  they can say that they don't have the words to say it.
• 19:17
  So here, I am speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves
• 19:20
  and really articulating it in a way that will probably resonate
• 19:24
  a lot more because I'm speaking directly to the experiences of
• 19:30
  so many people that I work with. So I know what comes up for many
• 19:33
  people. So anyhow, it is not all about
• 19:36
  the man's orgasm. Men want oral sex regularly.
• 19:39
  They want oral sex to completion all the guys that say they don't
• 19:43
  care if they finish in your mouth or lying honestly like for
• 19:48
  just assume that they're lying. Maybe one percent of them are in
• 19:50
  line but the ones that aren't lying what they mean is it fits
• 19:54
  between no blowjob and blow job right on?
• 19:57
  Finishing your mouth. Then of course I will take any
• 20:00
  blow job. I could finish you know into bed
• 20:03
  of hot fiery nails. Like whatever as long as I get a
• 20:06
  blowjob first. But so, so just so, you know, I
• 20:10
  like to be very practical you supposed to do this frequently
• 20:15
  it, if your husband wants freaking oral sex, it doesn't
• 20:17
  make him a weirdo. It just makes him a guy and he's
• 20:20
  saying it more possibly, because then he ever did because some
• 20:26
  people are like, oh, as my husband one oral sex, all of a
• 20:28
  sudden, like, I don't know, did you have like some come-to-jesus
• 20:31
  moment where he decided to be honest?
• 20:33
  Because he probably, Always wanted oral sex forever and or
• 20:37
  he got older, so he can come as readily from intercourse.
• 20:40
  So he wants oral sex. But he always wanted oral sex.
• 20:43
  You know, he just didn't say it. So it should be a normal part of
• 20:46
  your sex life is. I heard somebody at some point
• 20:51
  asked if it made you sick or something to swallow.
• 20:54
  Come no it doesn't kill you. Otherwise many women would be
• 20:57
  dead, nobody dies from it. If you think it's disgusting, I
• 21:02
  mean you know, like as I say, you got to be good.
• 21:05
  Giving game, you gotta try some shit.
• 21:06
  Like, why is it so disgusting? It's in your head that it's
• 21:09
  discussing. That's why you think it's
• 21:10
  disgusting. I mean, could you imagine if
• 21:12
  your husband is going down on you and he stopped and he said,
• 21:14
  you know, I can't stand the taste and he spit it out.
• 21:17
  I like spit. I mean, like, that's like
• 21:19
  divorce court for like most women, but yet, they'll do it to
• 21:23
  the guy. So like it kind of doesn't make
• 21:25
  any sense and they shouldn't hurt.
• 21:28
  If it hurts. You're doing it wrong.
• 21:30
  You're doing it for wrong and too long and or so, if it's too,
• 21:34
  Long. There should be some foreplay
• 21:36
  before, and if it's wrong, you're not using the hand or
• 21:40
  you're thinking that everybody's supposed to deep throat.
• 21:43
  Everybody's not supposed to deep throat, you know?
• 21:45
  That is not a reality and that if you are a man of your like
• 21:49
  the one of the very few men whose like insisting on that.
• 21:52
  Well, then you deserve not to get any blow jobs because that
• 21:54
  actually hurts, you know, and it could really stop her from ever
• 21:58
  wanting to engage with you. If she's an active pain, you
• 22:00
  don't want that, right? It's just like, guys who want
• 22:03
  anal, if you want anal, you Make anal pleasurable that takes
• 22:06
  time. Lube all of these things.
• 22:08
  If you make it unpleasant, herbal guess who's not going to
• 22:11
  do it? Your wife cause she has a brain.
• 22:13
  So she's not going to do something that hurts her.
• 22:15
  So if there are any more fallacies and myths about oral
• 22:20
  sex, he would like me to clear up, I can do.
• 22:22
  So can't think of any more off the top of my head, haha head.
• 22:27
  But you can certainly let me know via email and you can
• 22:30
  request any other topic. I am going to talk in a paid
• 22:33
  episode that you should subscribe.
• 22:34
  I'm to hear about oral sex for women.
• 22:37
  Now, as a spoiler, there is barely any overlap between these
• 22:40
  two topics because women do not think about oral sex on them the
• 22:43
  same way as men think about oral sex.
• 22:46
  So that's just your spoiler alert on that one and hopefully
• 22:50
  all got a lot of new information or at least one little tidbit of
• 22:54
  information that was new out of this.
• 22:56
  Even if it's just like holy shit.
• 22:58
  Like some women think that you're only supposed to give to
• 23:01
  blow jobs a year and some women think that blowjobs are just out
• 23:04
  of porn. Yes, biggie do.
• 23:06
  And if you can remember a time as a man who's like saying, oh
• 23:10
  my god, wow. How could women think that?
• 23:12
  Do you remember time of ever seeing to your wife?
• 23:14
  I ate when you're dating. I expect oral sex to continue as
• 23:19
  part of our marital sex like that is not a thing to me that
• 23:24
  should go away. And or when you saw it was going
• 23:26
  away. Did you ever say I'm deeply
• 23:29
  unhappy with this for these reasons and I would really like
• 23:32
  to work on this. It's super important.
• 23:34
  Let's go. A sex therapist?
• 23:35
  Fuck. No, you didn't or maybe you're
• 23:38
  like the one percent of men who did so good job but everybody
• 23:41
  else didn't because, you know, you don't want to be a dick.
• 23:44
  You don't to be like some, like the rapist like that's men are
• 23:48
  always scared of being too aggressive.
• 23:50
  You don't want to talk about it too much.
• 23:52
  You don't want to, you don't want her to never do it or
• 23:54
  somehow to decide. Never ever to do any sex sexual
• 23:59
  thing again, ever. Which men fear even though they
• 24:01
  shouldn't because you should not stay in a marriage where
• 24:03
  nobody's doing any sexual things.
• 24:04
  If you ever anyhow. Um so cool.
• 24:08
  All done got a lot of info packed into that and I hope
• 24:11
  everybody has a great day. Bye bye.