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Aluminum Trees, Bad Candy, and Synthetic Connection · Talk About That

0:02
Speaker 1: Life Audio.
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Speaker 2: Today, I'll talk about that. John reveals his least favorite
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Speaker 2: candy and learns what beloved TV special killed the aluminum
0:11
Speaker 2: Christmas tree industry. Meanwhile, I have lunchless and comedian piles
0:16
Speaker 2: and tell the tale of the pet rock craze of
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Speaker 2: the nineteen seventies, Plus a conversation about red flags, toxic
0:22
Speaker 2: people and how weaponized therapy talk has led to a
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Speaker 2: loneliness epidemic. Today's episode is not sponsored by Trail Mix.
0:28
Speaker 2: It's the Healthiest Way to eat a pound of M
0:30
Speaker 2: and MS, but first award from our actual sponsor.
0:38
Speaker 3: Well, Johnny, is that time of year, It's Christmas time
0:41
Speaker 3: in the talk about that city.
0:45
Speaker 1: It's Christmas time in the city.
0:50
Speaker 3: You know. He's just singing so many like goofy songs
0:52
Speaker 3: and said he was really little, And I asked her
0:54
Speaker 3: the day. She doesn't remember any of them because I
0:55
Speaker 3: would say, it's Christmas time in the Sadie. Oh that's nice,
0:58
Speaker 3: you know, that's any little thing that were so creative
1:01
Speaker 3: and ringing, that's quite.
1:05
Speaker 4: That's quite.
1:05
Speaker 1: The vibrato I got this.
1:08
Speaker 2: I think that's the thing is like those old ladies
1:10
Speaker 2: in the church, like Joey Ilo my buddies talking about that,
1:12
Speaker 2: like the old ladies in your church had that natural
1:14
Speaker 2: vibrado that could just memm great.
1:17
Speaker 3: It's always uh, how great that art is always one?
1:26
Speaker 4: How great?
1:30
Speaker 3: It's like so l it's warbly if you get to
1:33
Speaker 3: that big the big finish and how great that art?
1:35
Speaker 3: Still I get that, No, I get the heb gbs on.
1:39
Speaker 2: It too, even like the Carry Underwood version where she like,
1:42
Speaker 2: you know, it's pretty good, right, I don't know, man,
1:46
Speaker 2: Carrie Underwood to me, Carr Underwoods here, kry come on,
1:49
Speaker 2: wants to say something.
1:50
Speaker 3: He's gotta she's amazing. I just yeah, I don't know.
1:54
Speaker 3: It's maybe tigging. So I had lunch yesterday with Carrie
1:57
Speaker 3: Underwood with now.
1:58
Speaker 2: Almost as almost as important if you're a right list
2:00
Speaker 2: this time of year, and you asked me if you
2:01
Speaker 2: told me to ask him this, Okay, So I had lunch.
2:03
Speaker 4: This randomly happened.
2:04
Speaker 2: So I had a lunch with Andrew Stanley, who's my friend,
2:06
Speaker 2: who's a comedian, who is the grandson of Charles Stanley,
2:11
Speaker 2: son of Andy Stanley, and he's a comedian. So it's
2:14
Speaker 2: a whole he's quite a departure. Yeah, he's got quite
2:16
Speaker 2: the quite an interesting lineage. But he's a great comic
2:21
Speaker 2: and so we were gonna have lunch together because he
2:24
Speaker 2: was in Nashville to do a showcase and a corporate
2:27
Speaker 2: and so he's like, I'm in town. I go, let's
2:29
Speaker 2: get lunch. So we were planning on it, and then
2:31
Speaker 2: out of the blue, because I hooked, I connected with
2:35
Speaker 2: Mark Lowry. In October at this event, we did Who's
2:38
Speaker 2: like the og Christian comedian? Like I mean, from like
2:43
Speaker 2: eighty six on, he was doing stand up in churches
2:48
Speaker 2: and then would do all this youth stuff, youth, youth, youth,
2:50
Speaker 2: and then he always says that, and then he Bill
2:52
Speaker 2: Gaither saw him and dumped him into a sea of
2:55
Speaker 2: geriatrics and he goes, and that's where I've been ever since.
2:57
Speaker 2: So his whole audience is just older people, but he
3:00
Speaker 2: loves him. And now he's an old person himself, so
3:02
Speaker 2: he's just like he's in hog Heaven.
3:05
Speaker 4: But anyway, he texts me and goes, what are you doing?
3:07
Speaker 2: Are you in town to My bus is parking in
3:10
Speaker 2: Hendersonville for a couple of days, So if you're in town,
3:12
Speaker 2: let's get lunch or something. I go, well, I'm actually
3:14
Speaker 2: having lunch tomorrow with another comedian or two. I'm having
3:17
Speaker 2: some friends get together, and he goes, oh, I go
3:21
Speaker 2: just come along. He goes, are you serious? Like he
3:23
Speaker 2: was so excited because he doesn't hang out with comics.
3:26
Speaker 2: His whole place is like.
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Speaker 3: His whole world is like musicians, and he's the only
3:31
Speaker 3: comedian in his world, right, yeah, so he just craves
3:35
Speaker 3: that community.
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Speaker 2: And so I loved it so much because he's like
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Speaker 2: a little kid still. He's so fun. He's so fun
3:39
Speaker 2: and curious and he's a great listener, and so we've
3:43
Speaker 2: become fast friends.
3:45
Speaker 1: But anyway, he immediately was like, who's going to.
3:47
Speaker 2: Be there, and so I told him Andrew Stanley and
3:50
Speaker 2: he immediately googles him.
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Speaker 1: He goes, this guy's hilarious.
3:53
Speaker 2: Then I go Rick Roberts, who's my friend who's a
3:55
Speaker 2: mentor of mine.
3:56
Speaker 4: And he goes, I'm watching his drybar right now.
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Speaker 2: He's so excited, all caps, he's so excited, and so
4:01
Speaker 2: he showed up early at lunch and we're talking. But
4:03
Speaker 2: you asked me, you go, if you're have lunch at
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Speaker 2: the market, are you got to ask him?
4:06
Speaker 1: Like is this time of year like unbelievable for you
4:08
Speaker 1: at the Royal cost Are you?
4:10
Speaker 4: Are you?
4:10
Speaker 2: Because he wrote Mary, did you know the most like
4:14
Speaker 2: iconic Christmas song?
4:16
Speaker 3: Originally Christmas song? It has to be in the past
4:18
Speaker 3: thirty years. It's almost which I think.
4:20
Speaker 2: He said he wrote it in eighty four, which I
4:22
Speaker 2: did not know this, you know, you know, he only
4:24
Speaker 2: wrote the lyrics.
4:24
Speaker 1: Buddy Green wrote the music for it.
4:27
Speaker 2: Really yeah, so Buddy Green wrote the music, so they're
4:30
Speaker 2: both kind of cashing it. But anyway, I asked him.
4:32
Speaker 2: I did ask him at much because you go ask
4:33
Speaker 2: him what this year here like a kidd and don't
4:36
Speaker 2: get a number, but ask him and I go, hey,
4:38
Speaker 2: he wants to know, like is this is this everything
4:41
Speaker 2: we think?
4:41
Speaker 4: He goes, he put down his fork.
4:43
Speaker 2: And he goes che chin, which was the best, the best,
4:48
Speaker 2: which I always like it when people will admit that
4:51
Speaker 2: they're doing it, because people always wanted to diffuse it.
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Speaker 4: No, no, no, it's not what you think. It's a
4:55
Speaker 4: lot of taxes, blah blah blah.
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Speaker 1: I put my pants on one leg at a time,
4:58
Speaker 1: just like I have.
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Speaker 4: My robot put my pants on for me, just like
5:03
Speaker 4: everybody else.
5:04
Speaker 1: I put my gold pants on.
5:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, but anyway, he uh, he's doing okay this time
5:09
Speaker 2: of year. But that was so fun getting to hang
5:10
Speaker 2: out with him. And of course people were I put
5:13
Speaker 2: the photo, people are commenting being like.
5:16
Speaker 4: Lowry, did you know?
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Speaker 1: It was like a whole thing. People are like making
5:19
Speaker 1: little songs Johnny, did you know that?
5:21
Speaker 4: Blah blah blah.
5:22
Speaker 3: It seems to me that he's the kind of guy
5:24
Speaker 3: that's not bothered by being known so well known for
5:29
Speaker 3: something like that.
5:30
Speaker 1: I don't you know what seems grateful.
5:32
Speaker 2: Again, I'm one of these guys when I first meet somebody,
5:34
Speaker 2: I kind of make an idealized version of them. It's
5:37
Speaker 2: hard for me not to do that, Yeah, I And
5:40
Speaker 2: then as you get to know me, you're like, oh
5:41
Speaker 2: I started. You start to see like the little flaws
5:43
Speaker 2: and stuff, and you're like, oh, this is interesting. His
5:46
Speaker 2: personality gets more rounded out. So I am definitely like
5:50
Speaker 2: vulnerable to that. But I will say from the interactions
5:53
Speaker 2: I've had with him, which I mean I spent almost
5:55
Speaker 2: two hours with him yesterday, he seems very at peace
5:59
Speaker 2: with himself. Yeah, And I really like that in a
6:02
Speaker 2: person like I don't like overly confident people, like supremely
6:06
Speaker 2: certain and confident people. Really are unsettling to me, Yeah,
6:09
Speaker 2: because I just don't understand how you even do art,
6:12
Speaker 2: Like you need to have confidence in like I have
6:15
Speaker 2: confidence in my art the way you would have confidence in.
6:17
Speaker 4: A bridge that you've built.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, like I've.
6:19
Speaker 4: Walked across it enough to know it's not going to fall.
6:22
Speaker 3: You may not want to drive, Yeah, but I would
6:24
Speaker 3: never be like, but I'll step off the bridge and
6:26
Speaker 3: I'll just take this bold move and it'll be just
6:28
Speaker 3: there'll be a bridge that will appear like.
6:30
Speaker 4: I don't have that kind There are people who have
6:31
Speaker 4: that kind of confidence.
6:32
Speaker 2: They're like, I've built this bridge, now I can just
6:34
Speaker 2: take this wild leap and there'll be a net underneath me.
6:37
Speaker 2: I don't feel that. I feel confidence in the bridge
6:39
Speaker 2: I've built. So when I see people who are like
6:42
Speaker 2: unnaturally confident in every move they make, it's very unsettling
6:46
Speaker 2: to me. But I do love people who are at
6:48
Speaker 2: peace with themselves and what they've built and what they've made,
6:51
Speaker 2: and they don't feel like they're still churning underneath.
6:55
Speaker 3: How are we friends? I don't know, because you just
6:58
Speaker 3: described to me. No, it's interesting we've said it. I
7:01
Speaker 3: think last episode someone recently told me that the opposite
7:04
Speaker 3: of faith is not doubt. The opposite of faith is certainty. Okay, yeah,
7:08
Speaker 3: which is such an interesting idea because when you're certain, yeah,
7:10
Speaker 3: you you you believe the wrong thing.
7:14
Speaker 4: Yeah.
7:14
Speaker 3: Well, in faith, you're believing something that you can't see,
7:17
Speaker 3: and that you're in certainty, you're believing something that you
7:20
Speaker 3: think you can see.
7:21
Speaker 2: And it's like faith, hope, love, the greatest of these
7:23
Speaker 2: is love. And it's like all these will pass away
7:25
Speaker 2: except for love. And it's like you told, you said
7:27
Speaker 2: that one time to me. You said, well, yeah, when
7:29
Speaker 2: we get to heaven, we won't need hope anymore. Yeah,
7:32
Speaker 2: because you've accomplished not waiting for it, and you're not
7:35
Speaker 2: waiting for it anymore, So you don't need helpe. You
7:37
Speaker 2: don't need faith because your faith has been confirmed faith,
7:40
Speaker 2: you're seeing the fruit of it. So we'll still have love,
7:43
Speaker 2: though love is this eternal thing, but like, yeah, it's
7:46
Speaker 2: hard to imagine that.
7:47
Speaker 4: So yeah, I don't know.
7:48
Speaker 2: I try to be at peace with what I'm building
7:52
Speaker 2: while also pushing farther and trying to get the most
7:55
Speaker 2: out of the sponge and trying to squeeze the sponge
7:57
Speaker 2: at this point and get the most out of my gift.
7:59
Speaker 2: But when I see somebody who's been doing it his
8:01
Speaker 2: whole life, and you go, oh, this person feels like
8:04
Speaker 2: he's kind of at peace with his legacy and where
8:06
Speaker 2: he's at and what he's doing now. And he still
8:08
Speaker 2: seems to love his audience. Like he talked about going
8:11
Speaker 2: into me and he's talking to me and John Christ
8:12
Speaker 2: about he goes into the audience and like tells jokes
8:15
Speaker 2: to people.
8:16
Speaker 4: He goes, I can't wait to get out there. He goes,
8:18
Speaker 4: I have a follow up spot that follows.
8:19
Speaker 2: Me into the audience, and the camera moves and goes,
8:21
Speaker 2: it's on the screens and me and John Chris are
8:23
Speaker 2: looking at him like, this is the most terrifying thing
8:26
Speaker 2: to go into the audience and just like go out
8:29
Speaker 2: on a limb and like tell an old story to
8:31
Speaker 2: some person who's just there, who's a stranger. But he
8:35
Speaker 2: doesn't see them that way. That's so that's what makes
8:38
Speaker 2: him the most excited about his show. And I was like,
8:40
Speaker 2: what an interesting alien thing to me it is?
8:43
Speaker 3: And you know, it's so funny all the data even
8:46
Speaker 3: And I'm writing a book for a guy right now
8:48
Speaker 3: and it's talking about digital health, but also like the
8:52
Speaker 3: process even the what the social sciences say in research
8:56
Speaker 3: about connection with other people. Yeah, and that's what's so
9:00
Speaker 3: interesting is how we've gotten away from human connectivity being
9:06
Speaker 3: what actually brings us a sense of fulfillment. And so
9:10
Speaker 3: when we get it in the I want to I
9:13
Speaker 3: don't want to call it all fake if it's online,
9:16
Speaker 3: but if nothing else it is, I think it's like
9:20
Speaker 3: since that diluted. You know, right, You're you're getting maybe
9:23
Speaker 3: interaction with a person, but you're not getting the same
9:26
Speaker 3: And those I think who really harness it. And this
9:29
Speaker 3: guy I'm writing for, it's the same kind of way.
9:31
Speaker 3: He's the kind of guy with the whole part called
9:33
Speaker 3: Delta diaries because he's flying a lot to speak and
9:35
Speaker 3: doing ted talks and stuff, and he's like, if you
9:39
Speaker 3: sit next to me on a plane, I don't really
9:41
Speaker 3: care if you have headphones in or not, like I'm
9:44
Speaker 3: going to try to connect with you. And that he
9:46
Speaker 3: he'll send me pictures like hey, I just met these people,
9:49
Speaker 3: and you know, we'll get their life story. And he
9:51
Speaker 3: has these he calls it generative generative dialogue where instead
9:55
Speaker 3: of just like hey, what do you do for a living.
9:57
Speaker 3: It's more like, Hey, what is it that you're most
10:02
Speaker 3: excited about or what are you most proud of about
10:04
Speaker 3: in your life in the last thirty days. That's a
10:06
Speaker 3: stranger that yeah, right, or or you know, how do
10:10
Speaker 3: you spend your day? Like, instead of saying what do
10:12
Speaker 3: you do for a living? How do you spend your days?
10:13
Speaker 4: Yeah?
10:14
Speaker 3: And so like they have, they get something broader and
10:16
Speaker 3: they'll start sharing and by the end, you know, it's
10:18
Speaker 3: not for everybody. He's like he gets it, but yeah, yeah,
10:21
Speaker 3: but that and it's so like as an introvert, it's
10:24
Speaker 3: so like I just and he'll say sometimes I'll put
10:27
Speaker 3: my metals, don't have to riote, or I'll watch a
10:29
Speaker 3: movie or something.
10:29
Speaker 1: But he gets energy from connecting with people.
10:34
Speaker 2: And I think everybody does to some degree. It's just
10:38
Speaker 2: that they get out of the habit of it, right,
10:41
Speaker 2: you know. It's like, but like you said, it's synthetic.
10:44
Speaker 2: The online version is a synthetic version. It's like I
10:48
Speaker 2: had a friend who, well, I'm not a friend, a
10:50
Speaker 2: friend of a friend who was coming off of they
10:53
Speaker 2: had an addiction to OxyContin and it was a friend's
10:57
Speaker 2: sister and they so they go on method which is
11:00
Speaker 2: how you come off of heroin. So it's like it's
11:02
Speaker 2: a synthetic but it's got a lower level of addiction,
11:07
Speaker 2: but you're still kind of on the methodon and they
11:09
Speaker 2: were on the methadone for years. You're supposed to taper off,
11:12
Speaker 2: and they could not tape off the methadone. But it's
11:14
Speaker 2: like you don't gearly get high. It just takes away
11:16
Speaker 2: the sickness, Like you don't get the high like you
11:19
Speaker 2: would from the heroin hit or from oxy contin hit
11:22
Speaker 2: the opioid, but you're getting like I don't feel like
11:25
Speaker 2: I have the flu all day. So I think that's
11:28
Speaker 2: what the online version of connection feels like. It's like,
11:31
Speaker 2: well it feels close enough, and I don't have to
11:34
Speaker 2: take the risks, and it's conditioning.
11:36
Speaker 4: Us to not go out.
11:38
Speaker 2: And like he said that, Mark said that yesterday, he goes,
11:40
Speaker 2: do you guys get together all the time. I think
11:43
Speaker 2: he thought there's some league of comics that he's missed
11:45
Speaker 2: out on, and we always get together, and now he
11:47
Speaker 2: got to be a part of it.
11:48
Speaker 1: And I go, no, I don't even like we don't know.
11:51
Speaker 2: I go, this was all happenstance, And I said some
11:54
Speaker 2: of them are here because they heard you were going
11:55
Speaker 2: to be here and they wanted to meet you. I said,
11:58
Speaker 2: Once you added, I was like, it was he for
12:00
Speaker 2: me to go, hey, Rick, do you want to come?
12:01
Speaker 2: Mark Lowry's coming, and he was like, are you kidding?
12:03
Speaker 2: They all came, and so it's like we all have
12:06
Speaker 2: this version of vision of like what the community looks like.
12:10
Speaker 2: But it was fun to kind of participate in that
12:12
Speaker 2: and see it and like you said, it's not this
12:14
Speaker 2: synthetic version of it. Jason Pardon, who's one of my
12:17
Speaker 2: favorite content creators, he talked about how like the closest
12:20
Speaker 2: thing to a conspiracy theory that he believes in is
12:22
Speaker 2: that right now, we're being conditioned to dehumanize each other
12:26
Speaker 2: online so that we only seek connection online. Like when
12:31
Speaker 2: he goes, whenever you see a video, it's always the
12:34
Speaker 2: advice is always like this person's a red flag or
12:36
Speaker 2: this is a toxic person. How to cut these people
12:38
Speaker 2: out of your life? Right, he goes, every other article
12:40
Speaker 2: is about that. He goes, these are dehumanizing terms. Yeah,
12:45
Speaker 2: so that it makes us only think that the only
12:48
Speaker 2: safe place is behind a screen.
12:51
Speaker 3: It also conditions you to think that the loneliness you
12:53
Speaker 3: feel is normal, right, right, and that if you just
12:56
Speaker 3: get more of it, you know. The World Health Organization
12:58
Speaker 3: has basically said loneliness is now a global pandemic, like
13:02
Speaker 3: like this is a different we're gonna where I think
13:05
Speaker 3: they call it an epidemic. Sorry, I'm not sure the
13:08
Speaker 3: major differences. My wife is screaming right now, that's okay,
13:10
Speaker 3: But like this idea that I can cut people out
13:15
Speaker 3: and I'm not.
13:16
Speaker 1: Guys, obviously there's a.
13:17
Speaker 2: Time and place that people are afraid to even make
13:19
Speaker 2: those savements because they're fraid.
13:20
Speaker 4: You're like, well, you don't understand my father in law
13:22
Speaker 4: abuse me.
13:22
Speaker 2: We're not talking about that, right, We're talking about like
13:25
Speaker 2: if somebody choose loud with their at their with their food,
13:28
Speaker 2: and or your mom is annoying. Yeah, everybody's mom is annoying.
13:33
Speaker 2: Guess what, so are you.
13:34
Speaker 4: But he goes there's a.
13:35
Speaker 2: Thing of like making your idiosyncrasies like sacred and if
13:39
Speaker 2: somebody can't handle me at my worst, then you don't
13:41
Speaker 2: deserve me at my best. But when they're annoying, you go,
13:44
Speaker 2: you're toxic. Now, that's the part of it that's conditioning
13:47
Speaker 2: us to be very alone.
13:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it's the using the saw it again yesterday,
13:51
Speaker 3: using the therapy language as a reason to have someone
13:56
Speaker 3: to blame versus to have the tools to change. It's
14:00
Speaker 3: all supposed to be the tools for you to change,
14:02
Speaker 3: not for you to try to change others.
14:03
Speaker 4: Yeah, because you can't guess what you can't change others.
14:06
Speaker 1: No, it's exhausting, Listen.
14:08
Speaker 3: I told Sadi the other day, we were talking about it,
14:10
Speaker 3: and it was one of these like little aphorisms in
14:12
Speaker 3: my head of like, look, there'll be a lot of
14:14
Speaker 3: things in life that you're going to be able to change,
14:16
Speaker 3: and none of them will be people.
14:17
Speaker 4: Yeah.
14:17
Speaker 2: There's an old therapy term that I read in the
14:19
Speaker 2: book one time, and it said, no matter how much
14:21
Speaker 2: you want it to, if their cat won't bark like,
14:24
Speaker 2: you can't make their cat bark like, they are what
14:27
Speaker 2: they are, and you have to.
14:28
Speaker 4: Change you either adapt to it.
14:30
Speaker 2: Now, obviously, if there's somebody toxic and you feel like
14:32
Speaker 2: they're destructive and all that, that's not what we're talking
14:34
Speaker 2: about again. It feels like we have to keep giving
14:36
Speaker 2: that qualifying statement. But it's like if you go, I'm
14:40
Speaker 2: not going home for Thanksgiving because they're all toxic. It's like,
14:43
Speaker 2: you know what you're probably toxic to, you know, like
14:46
Speaker 2: there's toxic things about all of this.
14:48
Speaker 3: There's got to be about there, and there are consequences
14:50
Speaker 3: to actions, and I think the holidays is an interesting time.
14:54
Speaker 2: It is the thing I read the other day that
14:56
Speaker 2: I thought was cool. The big summation is people that
15:01
Speaker 2: put up walls versus boundaries, Like people use boundaries. That's
15:04
Speaker 2: a big therapy term, but I never heard it really
15:06
Speaker 2: described this way. They said, a wall is something you
15:09
Speaker 2: put up that says you can't get to me. A
15:11
Speaker 2: boundary shows them where the door is.
15:13
Speaker 4: Right.
15:14
Speaker 2: I really like that, Yeah, because that's true. That says, hey,
15:17
Speaker 2: here's the boundary. There's a way though, there's a way forward.
15:22
Speaker 4: Mom.
15:22
Speaker 2: If you've said an offensive thing to my child, or
15:24
Speaker 2: you've said things, or I've decided that whatever whatever past
15:28
Speaker 2: pain you've put me through, there's still a doorway.
15:32
Speaker 4: Whether it's I.
15:33
Speaker 2: Forgive you, you forgive me, we move on, or you're
15:36
Speaker 2: let's not let's talk around to this, let's get forward.
15:39
Speaker 2: But it's like, if you just put up a wall,
15:40
Speaker 2: you've decided like that person's out of my life forever.
15:43
Speaker 4: That's not a way forward.
15:44
Speaker 3: Really, Yeah, I don't know, no, And I think again,
15:48
Speaker 3: the caveat always remains right that you know that you
15:54
Speaker 3: know we're we're there are things that gonna be done
15:58
Speaker 3: that can make it where Okay, we're not going to
16:00
Speaker 3: see each other for a long time or whatever.
16:01
Speaker 4: And you're talking about me.
16:03
Speaker 1: Yeah.
16:03
Speaker 3: Absolutely, But there's a door here, Johnny. There is a door,
16:06
Speaker 3: and oddly enough that door leads through our ads.
16:10
Speaker 1: Oh. I couldn't believe it when they told me, Hey, go.
16:14
Speaker 2: Through this door with us, dear listener, and let's hear
16:16
Speaker 2: a few words from more fine sponsors.
16:28
Speaker 1: Hey we're back, Johnny.
16:29
Speaker 4: We got deep there?
16:30
Speaker 1: Hey what really?
16:31
Speaker 4: Deeply?
16:32
Speaker 1: I think we have solved it, though I do. I
16:35
Speaker 1: think everybody walked away.
16:36
Speaker 3: Some people listn't honestly heading into the holidays that could
16:39
Speaker 3: have really given some people.
16:42
Speaker 1: Extra anxiety. Yeah, because this is a time, Like therapist,
16:47
Speaker 1: I definitely don't.
16:47
Speaker 2: Want to accuse somebody of just being like you're giving
16:49
Speaker 2: up on your family if you feel like you've got
16:51
Speaker 2: real past trauma, I'm really not talking to that person.
16:54
Speaker 3: I think hopefully you know what I'm talking. Well, let
16:56
Speaker 3: me say this. I'll do this in thirty seconds. I'll
16:59
Speaker 3: do this in sixty second boy. Like in twelve step recovery,
17:02
Speaker 3: there's three different steps that we all think of outside
17:05
Speaker 3: of that world as one, and we think of forgiveness
17:07
Speaker 3: and reconciliation and amends.
17:09
Speaker 1: All is one thing, and it's not.
17:11
Speaker 3: Forgiveness in the twelve step world is something you don't
17:14
Speaker 3: have to have the other person around to do because
17:16
Speaker 3: it's between the Christian side. It's between you and God.
17:19
Speaker 3: You can forgive them and you can deal with all that.
17:22
Speaker 3: Then amends is something that's just between it's just you
17:24
Speaker 3: to them. It's not you don't expect to return necessarily,
17:27
Speaker 3: and you do not acknowledge what they have done, even
17:29
Speaker 3: if they started it or you have all these reasons
17:31
Speaker 3: that are that are valid. Once you've forgiven, then you
17:34
Speaker 3: have to make amends for what you've done wrong, right,
17:36
Speaker 3: But you don't say, hey, I did this because you
17:37
Speaker 3: did this, even if it's valid. You just own only
17:40
Speaker 3: your part, not their part, just only your apart. But
17:42
Speaker 3: you own it fully and unapologetically. Well it is apologetically, yeah,
17:46
Speaker 3: but it's not. It's not for the sake of getting
17:49
Speaker 3: it's not transactional. Those two things you're supposed to do
17:52
Speaker 3: forgiveness and amends. The third one, which is reconciliation, which
17:55
Speaker 3: is one of the final steps that may not happen. Yeah,
17:59
Speaker 3: and you accept that because reconciliation requires both parties to
18:03
Speaker 3: come to the table and to be willing to actually
18:05
Speaker 3: acknowledge all the things. And so they have to own
18:07
Speaker 3: their part in order for reconciliation to happen. And you
18:09
Speaker 3: want to own yours. But the key to health is
18:12
Speaker 3: is you have to be open to reconciliation. So you
18:15
Speaker 3: may not happen, but you have to at least have,
18:17
Speaker 3: like you said, have a door. Now, I think timing matters, right,
18:20
Speaker 3: You can't just because you have to then give them
18:23
Speaker 3: the respect of going through their own process, which and
18:27
Speaker 3: then knowing they may never get there. And so I
18:29
Speaker 3: think that may help a little bit, as you had
18:31
Speaker 3: in But actually my quote for today may help a
18:33
Speaker 3: little bit. Heading into the Christmas season, we need help.
18:35
Speaker 3: It may not sound like a Christmas quote, which only
18:37
Speaker 3: I think I may help us. Mind segment we call.
18:38
Speaker 3: They talked about that Dallas Willard can't ever go wrong. No,
18:54
Speaker 3: I have my staples, you know this, So I do have.
18:58
Speaker 1: The clife staples.
18:59
Speaker 3: The sense of spiritual formation thus understood, require sorry the processes.
19:06
Speaker 3: A spiritual formation, thus understood, require precise, testable, thorough knowledge
19:11
Speaker 3: of the human self. Psychological and theological understanding of the
19:16
Speaker 3: spiritual life must go hand in hand. Neither of them
19:19
Speaker 3: is complete without the other. A psychology that is Christian
19:23
Speaker 3: in the sense of a comprehensive understanding of the facts
19:26
Speaker 3: of spiritual life and growth should be a top priority
19:29
Speaker 3: for disciples of Jesus, particularly those who work in the
19:32
Speaker 3: various fields of psychology and who consider it an intellectual
19:35
Speaker 3: and practical discipline. No understanding of the human self can
19:40
Speaker 3: be theoretical, theoretically or practically adequate if it does not deal.
19:45
Speaker 1: With the spiritual self.
19:47
Speaker 3: So I was thinking about people heading into the holidays
19:49
Speaker 3: because my therapist, you know, who's a friend of mine
19:52
Speaker 3: as well. It is like, man, his phone is blown up. Oh,
19:56
Speaker 3: I'm sure in these times it brings out all of
19:59
Speaker 3: these these crises. And I think that you know, and
20:02
Speaker 3: this is pretty revolutionary for a guy who is older,
20:05
Speaker 3: a theologian who was older, to say, hey, we got
20:09
Speaker 3: to deal with the marriage of our spirituality with our
20:14
Speaker 3: psychology and not try to silo them. Right that I
20:18
Speaker 3: can't have a thorough understanding of myself or the human
20:21
Speaker 3: self if I'm not dealing with both sides. And even
20:26
Speaker 3: because they're really not two sides, they're actually together. I
20:30
Speaker 3: think that the modern desire to like categorize our various
20:37
Speaker 3: selves as being independent from the other leads to this
20:41
Speaker 3: sort of lack of health, like physiologically, which would be
20:46
Speaker 3: how your body and your psychology go together. It's so
20:50
Speaker 3: important to have an understanding that you have a mind,
20:52
Speaker 3: but it is contained in a brain, which is an
20:55
Speaker 3: organ of your body, right, and so brain health and
20:59
Speaker 3: mental health are connected. Yeah, it's not just And I've
21:04
Speaker 3: really going through I think the last you know, ten
21:08
Speaker 3: years or so, I really like and looking back over
21:12
Speaker 3: youth ministry and all the times I think we loved kids. Well,
21:15
Speaker 3: it's not that, but my lack of understanding about like
21:20
Speaker 3: the mental health side of things that is chemical or
21:23
Speaker 3: that is neurological, or that is a neuropathway, and recognizing
21:29
Speaker 3: that what is reflected in our spirituality about hey, believing
21:34
Speaker 3: the right things, you know, believing what God says about
21:37
Speaker 3: you and not what your worst thoughts say about you.
21:40
Speaker 3: Recognizing that that's not separate from the fact that if
21:44
Speaker 3: you if you, you know, take brain waves of those things,
21:48
Speaker 3: that it will also prove to be true on the
21:51
Speaker 3: scientific side, that a belief, a wrong belief over time
21:56
Speaker 3: creates literally like a ditch in your brain, like another neuropathy.
22:00
Speaker 4: Feeling prophecy kind of thing.
22:01
Speaker 3: Right, So, coming to the place of going how do
22:04
Speaker 3: how do I live? And not just I think my
22:06
Speaker 3: takeaway for Christmas for all of us would be like, hey,
22:11
Speaker 3: give yourself a break and realize that you are a
22:15
Speaker 3: full human with a brain, a mind, a soul, a heart,
22:19
Speaker 3: a body, and that instead of just thinking you have
22:23
Speaker 3: to muscle your way or you know, grip your way
22:28
Speaker 3: through something difficult, work on being good with the idea
22:35
Speaker 3: that you are whole and that there're gonna be things
22:38
Speaker 3: you're not good at yet, some relationships that aren't where
22:40
Speaker 3: they need to be yet, there's gonna be opportunities to
22:43
Speaker 3: grow right, to try to push yourself and all of
22:46
Speaker 3: those are just a part of you as a person.
22:48
Speaker 3: And you don't have to suddenly be some mental health
22:51
Speaker 3: guru in a moment that the rest of your life
22:54
Speaker 3: hasn't caught up with. And you also don't have to
22:56
Speaker 3: over spiritualize everything, but recognize you.
22:58
Speaker 1: In my opinion, you can't we.
23:00
Speaker 3: Spiritualized unless you use spiritual things as a distraction from reality,
23:05
Speaker 3: right right. If you're not applying your spiritual things to reality,
23:08
Speaker 3: you're trying to claim reality to be different than it is,
23:11
Speaker 3: as opposed to saying, hey, I see what is I
23:15
Speaker 3: accept it. Also, I believe that God's ways lead to
23:19
Speaker 3: growth and change, but I'm gonna take the baby steps
23:22
Speaker 3: of those things, because, by the way, guys, in the
23:24
Speaker 3: spiritual life, every step is a baby step.
23:27
Speaker 1: I really believe that.
23:28
Speaker 3: I'm like, if we're children of God, then every step
23:31
Speaker 3: is a child's step. Like I'm not gonna make some
23:34
Speaker 3: massive two mile stride in a day that doesn't exist.
23:39
Speaker 3: If I'm following Jesus all the metaphors he gave, or
23:41
Speaker 3: to walk after him, it is a walk, which means
23:44
Speaker 3: I can only take today's step. Then it's gonna feel small,
23:48
Speaker 3: but it's not small. If I learn to like, okay,
23:51
Speaker 3: I guess receive my humanity without the judgment, because Jesus
23:56
Speaker 3: is already paid for the judgment, right, so I can
23:59
Speaker 3: now not excuse myself and all my bad patterns and all.
24:03
Speaker 3: But I can accept them for what they are and
24:05
Speaker 3: begin trying to create new patterns and recognize that there
24:08
Speaker 3: are a lot of tools out there in the in
24:11
Speaker 3: the therapy world and psychology world and the things that
24:14
Speaker 3: will be helpful, but they're not going to override my humanity.
24:17
Speaker 3: And they're also not gonna have to be separate from
24:19
Speaker 3: my spirituality if I access to them correctly. That all
24:22
Speaker 3: truth is God's truth, and what God has given us
24:24
Speaker 3: in the spiritual world will prove to be beneficial in
24:27
Speaker 3: the psychological and physical world as well if we just
24:30
Speaker 3: live more holistically towards them. And there's a lot of
24:32
Speaker 3: big buzzwords there, but hopefully, Johnny, you'll do something with
24:35
Speaker 3: it and you finally get out of your funk.
24:36
Speaker 1: I just can't take another Christmas like this with you.
24:39
Speaker 4: I know, so I'm sorry. I'm toxic.
24:41
Speaker 1: Just like we talked about before.
24:43
Speaker 4: You got it.
24:44
Speaker 1: You've got to make amends and then we'll talk. I'm
24:46
Speaker 1: working on it.
24:47
Speaker 2: So let's do my segment, John. To wrap up, Let's
24:48
Speaker 2: start with Johnny sell jokes. We call it joke about that.
24:56
Speaker 4: John.
24:57
Speaker 2: When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and
24:59
Speaker 2: keep away from children, just like the bottle says, I
25:04
Speaker 2: never heard that one.
25:07
Speaker 4: Kids.
25:09
Speaker 2: I sound like a person that I think. People assume
25:11
Speaker 2: that I'm a person that doesn't like children because I
25:12
Speaker 2: don't have children, but I actually do it.
25:14
Speaker 1: Will they be surprised to find out that that's true,
25:16
Speaker 1: that you don't like children?
25:17
Speaker 2: But it's totally John a DA officer stopped at a
25:20
Speaker 2: ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He
25:22
Speaker 2: told the rancher, I need to inspect your ranch for
25:24
Speaker 2: illegally grown drugs. The ranchers said, okay, but don't go
25:27
Speaker 2: in that field over there. As he pointed over pointed
25:29
Speaker 2: out the location, the DA officer yelled, mister, I have
25:33
Speaker 2: the authority of the federal government with me. Reaching into
25:35
Speaker 2: his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge
25:38
Speaker 2: and proudly displayed it to the rancher. See this badge.
25:40
Speaker 2: This badge means I'm allowed to go wherever I wish,
25:42
Speaker 2: on any land. No questions asked, any answers given. Have
25:46
Speaker 2: I made myself clear? Do you understand? The ranchers nodded,
25:49
Speaker 2: politely apologized went about his chorge. Short time later, the
25:52
Speaker 2: old rancher heard loud screams, looked up and saw the
25:54
Speaker 2: DA officer running for his life, being chased by the
25:56
Speaker 2: rancher's big bull.
25:58
Speaker 4: With every step, the bull.
25:59
Speaker 2: Was gaining great on the officer, and it seemed like
26:01
Speaker 2: he'd sure enough be gored before he reached safety.
26:05
Speaker 4: The officer was clearly terrified.
26:06
Speaker 2: The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence,
26:08
Speaker 2: and yelled at the top of his lungs, your badge,
26:10
Speaker 2: show him your badge. I love that kind of joke.
26:15
Speaker 2: The whole like the authority or the elite gets kind
26:19
Speaker 2: of done over by the slowly farmer. Yeah, it's just
26:23
Speaker 2: kind of a funny type of joke. Turning the tables.
26:27
Speaker 4: John the monkey died in the zoo.
26:30
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, the zoo was unable to find a monkey for
26:33
Speaker 2: its exhibition, so it hired a guy to put a
26:35
Speaker 2: monkey suit on and take over the monkey duties.
26:39
Speaker 4: The guy did a great job.
26:41
Speaker 2: He was jumping around in the monkey cage until suddenly
26:43
Speaker 2: he fell out of the monkey cage and into the
26:44
Speaker 2: lions den. He started to scream help, help as the
26:46
Speaker 2: lion ran towards him. The lion finally came face to
26:49
Speaker 2: face with the monkey. He said, shut the heck up
26:50
Speaker 2: before you get us both fired. I've never heard any
26:56
Speaker 2: of those. Those are all three like new jokes that
26:59
Speaker 2: I'd never heard.
27:00
Speaker 4: Funny stuff.
27:01
Speaker 2: John, let's move forwards. This week in history, we call
27:04
Speaker 2: it talk about then, John. This Week nineteen sixty five
27:12
Speaker 2: A Charlie Brown Christmas, the first in a series of
27:16
Speaker 2: Peanuts television specials, it debuted.
27:19
Speaker 1: The show featured characters created by Charles M.
27:21
Speaker 2: Schultz, of course, including Charlie Brown, Linus, Lucy, and of course,
27:25
Speaker 2: Charlie Brown's dog Snoopy. Nearly half of the American households
27:29
Speaker 2: that had a television set tuned into.
27:30
Speaker 4: A Wow, that's crazy.
27:32
Speaker 3: Wow.
27:32
Speaker 4: Love it.
27:33
Speaker 1: I love hearing stuff like that, when you like we
27:35
Speaker 1: were it's that thing of.
27:36
Speaker 2: Like we're less, we're more divided than ever probably, you know,
27:40
Speaker 2: a if you count the number of people per capitol,
27:42
Speaker 2: like how divided we feel. But when everybody was watching
27:45
Speaker 2: the same thing on television, I think that had a
27:47
Speaker 2: role to play and like we all had something to
27:50
Speaker 2: talk about the next day that we shared in common.
27:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, even it was just around the water cooler anyway.
27:55
Speaker 2: The production costs succeeded its meager budget of seventy six
27:58
Speaker 2: thousand by twenty thousand and so it cost ninety six
28:01
Speaker 2: thousand to make, I guess, but it has earned millions
28:03
Speaker 2: as a seasonal staple of the Christmas television lineup. The
28:06
Speaker 2: special also killed this is my favorite part and that's
28:08
Speaker 2: why it makes the list. The special also killed the
28:10
Speaker 2: aluminum Christmas tree fad that had been popular since the
28:13
Speaker 2: late fifties. So this came out in sixty five, so
28:15
Speaker 2: people were moving to aluminum Christmas trees evidently between nineteen
28:20
Speaker 2: sixty five or nineteen fifty to nineteen sixty five. Within
28:23
Speaker 2: two years of the specials airing the Charlie Brown with
28:26
Speaker 2: Charlie Brown insisting on a real and not fake tree,
28:29
Speaker 2: aluminum tree manufacturing had all but seased.
28:32
Speaker 3: So it had this real mark on the culture economic Yeah,
28:36
Speaker 3: because even though he.
28:36
Speaker 2: Had the tiny, little horrible tree that was kind of
28:39
Speaker 2: like authentic, but it was authentic, and they were like
28:41
Speaker 2: they could look over at their illumin tree, go, we
28:43
Speaker 2: do have a fake, awful tree.
28:45
Speaker 4: Don't And it killed the aluminum tree industry. Wow. And
28:48
Speaker 4: a lot of people lost jobs. John a lot of people.
28:53
Speaker 1: Event industory.
28:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, that Johnny's granddad worked in the illuminum tree Mindes.
28:58
Speaker 2: John George renn Andre was born this week eighteen fifty six.
29:02
Speaker 2: He was an American candy maker. He invented candy corn
29:07
Speaker 2: in the eighteen eighties while working for the Wonderful Wonderful
29:11
Speaker 2: Candy Company.
29:12
Speaker 4: That's it's spelled wonderful.
29:15
Speaker 2: It began selling it an eighteen eighty eight. It was
29:17
Speaker 2: originally called chicken feed.
29:20
Speaker 3: That's because it looked I couldn't in my mind, there
29:23
Speaker 3: was no way to make candy corn worse than it was.
29:25
Speaker 1: They just call it chicken feed.
29:27
Speaker 4: Love it or hated.
29:27
Speaker 2: Candy corn is now Halloween staple after becoming a popular
29:30
Speaker 2: trick or treat candy in the nineteen fifties, John, what
29:33
Speaker 2: do you think the worst candy is? Because obviously we're
29:34
Speaker 2: not we're not candy corn people. Some people like the
29:36
Speaker 2: little pumpkins but don't like candy corn. I think that's interesting.
29:39
Speaker 4: They like the big what.
29:41
Speaker 3: I don't know what it's called, but there used to be.
29:43
Speaker 3: It's like in a it reminds me of the color of
29:45
Speaker 3: the Cleveland Browns orange. Oh yeah, and it's like just
29:48
Speaker 3: this peanut butter. I feel like it's peanut butter. I
29:51
Speaker 3: don't know what it is. I'm not sure.
29:53
Speaker 2: Black the orange and black orange and blappers and those
29:56
Speaker 2: are peppers nasty, yeah, Tim Hawkins, you just say it
29:59
Speaker 2: tastes like peanut butter and hair, burnt hair.
30:02
Speaker 4: Peanut butter and burnt hair. Yes, so you don't have
30:04
Speaker 4: a name.
30:05
Speaker 1: I don't think.
30:06
Speaker 4: I don't know if they make those anymore.
30:07
Speaker 2: It's like when you used to go to your grandma's
30:08
Speaker 2: house and she would always have a dish of those
30:10
Speaker 2: strawberry candies.
30:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, that look like the raw wrappers look like some strawberries. Like,
30:15
Speaker 3: we're who bought those? They just appeared in those dishes, right,
30:19
Speaker 3: you can't see that. You don't find them, No, they
30:21
Speaker 3: just were They were at grandma. And those are Walgreens
30:23
Speaker 3: type candies. Yeah, probably get them at a drug store maybe, yeah,
30:27
Speaker 3: rex al Revo right aid.
30:31
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, Yeah, I don't know what's the most underrated
30:34
Speaker 2: candy though?
30:35
Speaker 1: What do you think like doesn't get enough love?
30:38
Speaker 2: Because like people love hating on candy, but like what's
30:40
Speaker 2: the one where you go like this needs more press?
30:43
Speaker 4: Rollos? Rollos are good? You know what I love? One
30:46
Speaker 4: hundred grand. One hundred grand is a good candy.
30:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I like a good I do. I feel
30:52
Speaker 3: like Laura and I. We don't get candy bars very often. Yeah,
30:55
Speaker 3: but like she doesn't like a milky way. No, wait,
30:58
Speaker 3: she doesn't like a three musket teers. Really I love
31:00
Speaker 3: too much? Oh yeah, they're fluffy. I like the fleas
31:02
Speaker 3: eat all the chocolate off of the side before I
31:04
Speaker 3: got it.
31:05
Speaker 4: Weird.
31:05
Speaker 1: I do some weird stuff. Yeah, I don't know, just
31:07
Speaker 1: a savor it.
31:07
Speaker 2: It feels lighter as a candy bar. You feel like
31:09
Speaker 2: you're not being weighed down because it's so fluffy. But
31:11
Speaker 2: maybe people who really love chocolate are like, this isn't rich.
31:14
Speaker 4: Enough for me.
31:14
Speaker 1: It's not giving me enough of the it's just the sin.
31:17
Speaker 3: Only as the con teers. I think something may be
31:19
Speaker 3: wrong with I mean, there's nothing really to go. You
31:21
Speaker 3: just said something wrong with your wife. But go ahead, okay,
31:23
Speaker 3: keep going. Yeah, ruin Christmas, very Christmas every John Finally
31:28
Speaker 3: born this week nineteen thirty six. The creator of the
31:31
Speaker 3: pet rock, Gary Dahl. He's an American entrepreneur. He created
31:36
Speaker 3: the pet rock in nineteen seventy five. While sitting in
31:40
Speaker 3: a bar listening to people complaining about their pets. He
31:41
Speaker 3: joked that he had the perfect pet a rock.
31:45
Speaker 2: He invented this, he had sold for three ninety five
31:48
Speaker 2: in nineteen centy. It made him a millionaire, and the
31:51
Speaker 2: fad lasted about six months. We were kind of buying
31:53
Speaker 2: this ironically, wow, but it lasted. The fad lasted long
31:57
Speaker 2: enough to make this guy a millionaire.
31:58
Speaker 1: Why can't we do something like that? We have no
32:00
Speaker 1: ideas all the time that people think are stupid.
32:02
Speaker 3: They could pay us for knowing it's stupid, Johnny, we
32:05
Speaker 3: got to big, I might say, that's what we've done.
32:07
Speaker 2: Big enough stupid ideas you could pay for, john How
32:09
Speaker 2: would you become a patron of the show?
32:11
Speaker 1: You got to talk about that podcast dot click.
32:13
Speaker 2: On the uppright hand link. That's how you get ad
32:15
Speaker 2: free content. We love our patrons. Thanks so much for
32:17
Speaker 2: supporting the show, and we are we can continue to
32:20
Speaker 2: keep growing and downloads and listen, so thanks for that,
32:22
Speaker 2: and make sure to share the show and you know,
32:25
Speaker 2: subscribe so that you get notified when a new episode
32:28
Speaker 2: comes out.
32:29
Speaker 4: All that good sense.
32:29
Speaker 3: It's been a particularly busy season, especially with Johnny's travel.
32:33
Speaker 3: I'm kind of busy on my end too. Thank you
32:35
Speaker 3: guys for like being with us. In it because it's
32:38
Speaker 3: been we get a lot of emails and stuff right now.
32:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's pretty cool and we love hearing from you.
32:42
Speaker 2: We'll read some of those next week on the show,
32:44
Speaker 2: I promise, But we love hearing from you, so keep
32:46
Speaker 2: sending those. You can send an email to Hello talk
32:48
Speaker 2: about that podcast dot com. Find tour dates of mine
32:51
Speaker 2: at johnnyw dot com. We're getting ready to announce a
32:54
Speaker 2: big forty eight city tour that's going to be nationwide
32:57
Speaker 2: in twenty twenty six.
32:58
Speaker 4: So I'm probably coming to your city.
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Speaker 2: Uh, and it's gonna be I'm very excited and so
33:04
Speaker 2: keep keep an eye out for that. I think that
33:05
Speaker 2: announcement goes out on the fifteenth and tickets will go
33:07
Speaker 2: and sell them in nineteenth for those dates.
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Speaker 4: Yeah, of December.
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Speaker 1: It's exciting.
33:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, very cool.
33:11
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll be there. Thank you, not the whole time.
33:15
Speaker 4: Oh no, no, you have a family.
33:17
Speaker 3: I do.
33:17
Speaker 1: So, Hey, guys, thanks for telling you gave us today.
33:19
Speaker 3: Man. I hope you're having a build up to a
33:21
Speaker 3: very merry Christmas. And we'll see you next week here
33:23
Speaker 3: on talk about that.