Latest / Notes to Her / Note 33: How to Stop Talking Yourself Out of Greatness

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Note 33: How to Stop Talking Yourself Out of Greatness · Notes to Her

• 0:17
  Hey,
• 0:17
  girl.
• 0:17
  Hey.
• 0:18
  Welcome
• 0:18
  back
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Her,
• 0:19
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:19
  talk.
• 0:20
  I'm
• 0:20
  Yaya,
• 0:20
  your
• 0:21
  confidence
• 0:21
  and
• 0:21
  mindset
• 0:22
  coach,
• 0:22
  here
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  help
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  stop
• 0:23
  shrinking,
• 0:24
  stop
• 0:24
  overthinking,
• 0:25
  and
• 0:25
  stop
• 0:26
  standing
• 0:26
  in
• 0:26
  your
• 0:26
  own
• 0:27
  way.
• 0:27
  If
• 0:28
  you
• 0:28
  listen
• 0:28
  to
• 0:28
  the
• 0:28
  last
• 0:28
  note,
• 0:29
  we
• 0:29
  talked
• 0:29
  about
• 0:29
  honesty
• 0:30
  and
• 0:31
  calling
• 0:31
  out
• 0:31
  the
• 0:31
  lies
• 0:32
  that
• 0:32
  you
• 0:32
  tell
• 0:32
  yourself
• 0:33
  that
• 0:33
  will
• 0:33
  keep
• 0:33
  you
• 0:34
  stuck.
• 0:34
  So
• 0:35
  today
• 0:35
  we're
• 0:35
  going
• 0:35
  to
• 0:35
  talk
• 0:35
  about
• 0:35
  what
• 0:36
  happens
• 0:36
  after
• 0:37
  the
• 0:37
  truth.
• 0:37
  Because
• 0:38
  knowing
• 0:38
  the
• 0:38
  truth
• 0:38
  doesn't
• 0:39
  change
• 0:39
  your
• 0:39
  life
• 0:39
  if
• 0:39
  you
• 0:40
  keep
• 0:40
  talking
• 0:40
  yourself
• 0:41
  out
• 0:41
  of
• 0:41
  acting
• 0:41
  on
• 0:42
  it.
• 0:43
  Now,
• 0:43
  if
• 0:43
  you
• 0:43
  ever
• 0:43
  felt
• 0:44
  like
• 0:44
  you
• 0:44
  were
• 0:44
  the
• 0:45
  only
• 0:45
  thing
• 0:45
  standing
• 0:46
  in
• 0:46
  between
• 0:46
  you
• 0:47
  and
• 0:47
  the
• 0:47
  like
• 0:47
  you
• 0:47
  want,
• 0:48
  this
• 0:48
  note
• 0:49
  is
• 0:49
  for
• 0:49
  you.
• 1:00
  I
• 1:00
  know
• 1:00
  a
• 1:01
  lot
• 1:01
  of
• 1:01
  talented
• 1:02
  women
• 1:02
  and
• 1:02
  you
• 1:02
  probably
• 1:03
  do
• 1:03
  too.
• 1:03
  Yourself
• 1:04
  included.
• 1:05
  Highly
• 1:06
  capable,
• 1:07
  smart
• 1:07
  as
• 1:07
  hell,
• 1:08
  creative,
• 1:09
  thoughtful,
• 1:10
  driven.
• 1:12
  But
• 1:12
  a
• 1:12
  lot
• 1:12
  of
• 1:12
  them
• 1:12
  have
• 1:13
  something
• 1:13
  in
• 1:13
  common.
• 1:14
  They
• 1:15
  move
• 1:15
  like
• 1:15
  they
• 1:15
  are
• 1:16
  waiting
• 1:16
  for
• 1:16
  permission.
• 1:17
  They
• 1:18
  second
• 1:18
  guess
• 1:18
  ideas
• 1:19
  that
• 1:19
  are
• 1:19
  actually
• 1:20
  solid,
• 1:20
  they
• 1:21
  downplay
• 1:21
  themselves
• 1:22
  in
• 1:22
  rooms
• 1:22
  that
• 1:22
  they
• 1:23
  belong
• 1:23
  in,
• 1:24
  and
• 1:24
  they
• 1:24
  talk
• 1:24
  themselves
• 1:25
  out
• 1:25
  of
• 1:25
  opportunities
• 1:26
  before
• 1:26
  anyone
• 1:27
  else
• 1:27
  ever
• 1:28
  says
• 1:28
  no.
• 1:29
  And
• 1:29
  it
• 1:30
  doesn't
• 1:30
  sound
• 1:30
  dramatic.
• 1:30
  It
• 1:31
  sounds
• 1:31
  reasonable.
• 1:32
  When
• 1:32
  you're
• 1:32
  doing
• 1:32
  this,
• 1:33
  it
• 1:33
  sounds
• 1:33
  like,
• 1:34
  I'll
• 1:34
  wait
• 1:34
  until
• 1:35
  I'm
• 1:35
  more
• 1:35
  prepared.
• 1:36
  I
• 1:37
  don't
• 1:37
  want
• 1:37
  to
• 1:37
  embarrass
• 1:37
  myself.
• 1:39
  I'm
• 1:39
  probably
• 1:40
  overthinking
• 1:41
  this
• 1:41
  or
• 1:42
  I'll
• 1:43
  do
• 1:43
  it
• 1:43
  later.
• 1:45
  But
• 1:45
  what's
• 1:46
  really
• 1:46
  happening
• 1:46
  is
• 1:47
  this.
• 1:47
  You
• 1:47
  are
• 1:48
  having
• 1:48
  conversations
• 1:49
  with
• 1:49
  yourself
• 1:50
  that
• 1:50
  quietly
• 1:51
  talk
• 1:51
  you
• 1:51
  out
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  your
• 1:52
  own
• 1:53
  greatness.
• 1:54
  Talking
• 1:55
  yourself
• 1:55
  out
• 1:55
  of
• 1:55
  greatness
• 1:56
  isn't
• 1:56
  always
• 1:57
  loud
• 1:58
  self
• 1:58
  doubt.
• 2:00
  Sometimes
• 2:00
  it
• 2:00
  looks
• 2:01
  like
• 2:01
  convincing
• 2:01
  yourself
• 2:02
  not
• 2:02
  to
• 2:02
  go
• 2:02
  to
• 2:02
  a
• 2:03
  networking
• 2:03
  event.
• 2:04
  Choosing
• 2:05
  comfort
• 2:06
  over
• 2:06
  growth
• 2:06
  and
• 2:06
  calling
• 2:07
  it
• 2:07
  being
• 2:08
  realistic.
• 2:09
  Avoiding
• 2:10
  hard
• 2:10
  conversations
• 2:12
  even
• 2:12
  though
• 2:12
  it's
• 2:12
  necessary,
• 2:14
  Quitting
• 2:15
  before
• 2:15
  you
• 2:16
  start
• 2:16
  so
• 2:16
  that
• 2:16
  you
• 2:16
  don't
• 2:17
  have
• 2:17
  to
• 2:17
  risk
• 2:17
  failure.
• 2:18
  And
• 2:19
  telling
• 2:19
  yourself,
• 2:20
  I'm
• 2:20
  fine
• 2:21
  when
• 2:21
  you
• 2:21
  actually
• 2:21
  are
• 2:22
  just
• 2:22
  scared.
• 2:24
  And
• 2:24
  here's
• 2:24
  what
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  want
• 2:25
  to
• 2:25
  say
• 2:25
  to
• 2:25
  you.
• 2:26
  Ever
• 2:27
  so
• 2:27
  gently,
• 2:29
  your
• 2:29
  self
• 2:30
  talk
• 2:31
  shapes
• 2:32
  your
• 2:32
  standards.
• 2:33
  When
• 2:33
  you
• 2:34
  constantly
• 2:34
  tell
• 2:35
  yourself,
• 2:35
  why
• 2:36
  bother?
• 2:36
  What's
• 2:37
  the
• 2:37
  point?
• 2:38
  Or
• 2:38
  I'll
• 2:38
  never
• 2:38
  stick
• 2:39
  with
• 2:39
  this
• 2:39
  anyways.
• 2:40
  You
• 2:40
  lower
• 2:41
  the
• 2:41
  bar
• 2:41
  on
• 2:42
  your
• 2:42
  own
• 2:43
  life,
• 2:44
  not
• 2:44
  because
• 2:44
  you're
• 2:44
  incapable,
• 2:45
  but
• 2:45
  because
• 2:45
  your
• 2:46
  mind
• 2:46
  has
• 2:46
  learned
• 2:47
  how
• 2:47
  to
• 2:47
  keep
• 2:47
  you
• 2:47
  safe
• 2:48
  instead
• 2:48
  of
• 2:48
  expanded.
• 2:51
  Now
• 2:51
  your
• 2:51
  brain
• 2:51
  isn't
• 2:52
  trying
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  sabotage
• 2:52
  you,
• 2:53
  it's
• 2:53
  trying
• 2:53
  to
• 2:53
  protect
• 2:54
  you.
• 2:55
  Negative
• 2:55
  self
• 2:55
  talk
• 2:56
  often
• 2:56
  comes
• 2:56
  from
• 2:56
  old
• 2:57
  experiences
• 2:58
  being
• 2:58
  criticized,
• 2:59
  dismissed,
• 3:00
  overlooked,
• 3:01
  or
• 3:02
  made
• 3:02
  to
• 3:02
  feel
• 3:02
  small.
• 3:03
  So
• 3:03
  your
• 3:03
  mind
• 3:04
  has
• 3:04
  learned
• 3:04
  a
• 3:04
  shortcut.
• 3:05
  It
• 3:05
  says,
• 3:06
  I'll
• 3:06
  talk
• 3:06
  myself
• 3:06
  out
• 3:06
  of
• 3:07
  it
• 3:07
  first
• 3:08
  and
• 3:08
  then
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  won't
• 3:08
  be
• 3:08
  disappointed.
• 3:10
  But
• 3:10
  protection
• 3:10
  that
• 3:11
  keeps
• 3:11
  you
• 3:11
  stuck
• 3:12
  isn't
• 3:13
  protection.
• 3:14
  It's
• 3:14
  limitation.
• 3:15
  And
• 3:16
  over
• 3:16
  time,
• 3:16
  those
• 3:17
  thoughts
• 3:17
  don't
• 3:17
  just
• 3:18
  pass
• 3:18
  through,
• 3:18
  they
• 3:19
  become
• 3:19
  beliefs.
• 3:20
  Beliefs
• 3:21
  about
• 3:21
  what
• 3:21
  you
• 3:21
  deserve
• 3:22
  what
• 3:23
  you're
• 3:23
  capable
• 3:23
  of
• 3:24
  and
• 3:24
  what's
• 3:25
  realistic
• 3:25
  for
• 3:26
  you.
• 3:28
  Here's
• 3:29
  where
• 3:29
  the
• 3:29
  shift
• 3:30
  starts.
• 3:32
  You
• 3:32
  don't
• 3:32
  have
• 3:32
  to
• 3:32
  jump
• 3:33
  straight
• 3:33
  to
• 3:33
  positive
• 3:33
  affirmations
• 3:34
  if
• 3:34
  that
• 3:35
  feels
• 3:35
  fake.
• 3:36
  You
• 3:36
  start
• 3:36
  by
• 3:36
  interrupting
• 3:37
  the
• 3:37
  spiral.
• 3:38
  So
• 3:39
  when
• 3:39
  a
• 3:39
  thought
• 3:39
  comes
• 3:39
  up
• 3:40
  like
• 3:40
  I'll
• 3:40
  never
• 3:41
  be
• 3:41
  able
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  do
• 3:41
  this,
• 3:42
  you
• 3:42
  pause
• 3:42
  and
• 3:43
  ask,
• 3:43
  is
• 3:44
  this
• 3:44
  true
• 3:44
  or
• 3:45
  is
• 3:45
  this
• 3:45
  familiar?
• 3:46
  When
• 3:46
  your
• 3:47
  mind
• 3:47
  says
• 3:47
  there's
• 3:48
  no
• 3:48
  point
• 3:48
  in
• 3:48
  trying,
• 3:49
  you
• 3:49
  respond
• 3:50
  with,
• 3:50
  trying
• 3:51
  doesn't
• 3:51
  have
• 3:51
  to
• 3:51
  mean
• 3:51
  winning,
• 3:52
  it
• 3:52
  means
• 3:53
  showing
• 3:53
  up.
• 3:54
  You
• 3:54
  don't
• 3:55
  bully
• 3:55
  yourself
• 3:55
  into
• 3:55
  confidence.
• 3:56
  You
• 3:56
  build
• 3:57
  it
• 3:57
  by
• 3:57
  changing
• 3:57
  how
• 3:58
  you
• 3:58
  talk
• 3:58
  to
• 3:58
  yourself
• 3:59
  in
• 3:59
  the
• 4:00
  moment.
• 4:00
  That's
• 4:01
  how
• 4:01
  you
• 4:01
  move
• 4:01
  from
• 4:01
  self
• 4:02
  doubt
• 4:02
  to
• 4:02
  self
• 4:03
  trust.
• 4:03
  Trust.
• 4:06
  Ask
• 4:06
  yourself,
• 4:07
  would
• 4:07
  you
• 4:07
  ever
• 4:07
  speak
• 4:07
  to
• 4:08
  someone
• 4:08
  you
• 4:08
  love
• 4:09
  the
• 4:09
  way
• 4:09
  that
• 4:09
  you
• 4:09
  speak
• 4:10
  to
• 4:10
  yourself?
• 4:11
  You
• 4:12
  will
• 4:12
  probably
• 4:12
  never
• 4:13
  tell
• 4:14
  your
• 4:14
  friend
• 4:14
  that
• 4:14
  she's
• 4:15
  stupid
• 4:15
  for
• 4:15
  trying.
• 4:16
  You
• 4:17
  would
• 4:17
  never
• 4:17
  tell
• 4:17
  her
• 4:18
  to
• 4:18
  sit
• 4:18
  down
• 4:18
  and
• 4:18
  stop
• 4:18
  dreaming.
• 4:20
  You
• 4:20
  wouldn't
• 4:20
  convince
• 4:21
  her
• 4:21
  that
• 4:21
  she's
• 4:21
  asking
• 4:22
  for
• 4:22
  too
• 4:22
  much.
• 4:23
  So
• 4:23
  why
• 4:23
  is
• 4:24
  it
• 4:24
  okay
• 4:24
  when
• 4:24
  you
• 4:24
  do
• 4:24
  it
• 4:24
  to
• 4:25
  you?
• 4:26
  You
• 4:26
  don't
• 4:26
  need
• 4:26
  harsher
• 4:27
  discipline.
• 4:27
  You
• 4:28
  need
• 4:28
  better
• 4:28
  self
• 4:29
  support.
• 4:29
  Because
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  woman
• 4:30
  that
• 4:30
  you're
• 4:30
  becoming
• 4:31
  cannot
• 4:31
  be
• 4:31
  led
• 4:32
  by
• 4:32
  a
• 4:32
  voice
• 4:32
  that
• 4:33
  constantly
• 4:33
  doubts
• 4:34
  her.
• 4:35
  So
• 4:35
  here's
• 4:35
  what
• 4:36
  I
• 4:36
  want
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  to
• 4:36
  take
• 4:36
  with
• 4:36
  you
• 4:37
  today.
• 4:37
  Stop
• 4:38
  asking,
• 4:38
  am
• 4:39
  I
• 4:39
  good
• 4:39
  enough
• 4:39
  yet?
• 4:40
  And
• 4:40
  then
• 4:41
  start
• 4:41
  asking,
• 4:41
  what
• 4:42
  would
• 4:42
  happen
• 4:42
  if
• 4:42
  I
• 4:43
  stop
• 4:43
  talking
• 4:43
  myself
• 4:44
  out
• 4:44
  of
• 4:45
  trying.
• 4:46
  You
• 4:46
  don't
• 4:47
  need
• 4:47
  to
• 4:47
  silence
• 4:47
  fear.
• 4:48
  You
• 4:48
  just
• 4:48
  need
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  stop
• 4:49
  letting
• 4:49
  it
• 4:49
  make
• 4:49
  your
• 4:50
  decisions.
• 4:51
  You're
• 4:51
  not
• 4:51
  behind,
• 4:52
  you're
• 4:52
  not
• 4:52
  incapable.
• 4:53
  You're
• 4:54
  just
• 4:54
  ready
• 4:54
  for
• 4:54
  a
• 4:54
  new
• 4:55
  inner
• 4:55
  conversation.
• 4:56
  And
• 4:57
  if
• 4:57
  this
• 4:57
  note
• 4:57
  hits
• 4:57
  hard,
• 4:58
  share
• 4:58
  it
• 4:58
  with
• 4:58
  somebody
• 4:59
  else
• 4:59
  that
• 4:59
  needs
• 4:59
  to
• 4:59
  hear
• 5:00
  this
• 5:00
  too.
• 5:00
  Because
• 5:01
  greatness
• 5:01
  doesn't
• 5:02
  require
• 5:02
  permission.
• 5:03
  It
• 5:03
  requires
• 5:04
  courage.
• 5:05
  And
• 5:06
  listen.
• 5:06
  If
• 5:06
  this
• 5:06
  note
• 5:07
  made
• 5:07
  you
• 5:07
  realize
• 5:08
  how
• 5:08
  often
• 5:08
  you
• 5:08
  talk
• 5:09
  yourself
• 5:09
  out
• 5:10
  of
• 5:10
  showing
• 5:10
  up,
• 5:11
  how
• 5:11
  many
• 5:11
  times
• 5:11
  you
• 5:12
  minimize
• 5:12
  your
• 5:12
  voice,
• 5:13
  your
• 5:13
  ideas
• 5:14
  and
• 5:14
  your
• 5:14
  presence,
• 5:15
  then
• 5:15
  this
• 5:16
  is
• 5:16
  your
• 5:16
  next
• 5:16
  step.
• 5:17
  Because
• 5:17
  confidence
• 5:17
  doesn't
• 5:18
  grow
• 5:18
  in
• 5:18
  hiding.
• 5:19
  It
• 5:19
  grows
• 5:19
  when
• 5:19
  you
• 5:20
  practice
• 5:20
  being
• 5:20
  seen
• 5:22
  safely,
• 5:23
  intentionally
• 5:23
  and
• 5:24
  support
• 5:24
  it.
• 5:25
  And
• 5:25
  that
• 5:25
  is
• 5:25
  exactly
• 5:26
  why
• 5:26
  I
• 5:26
  am
• 5:26
  co
• 5:27
  hosting
• 5:27
  a
• 5:27
  seven
• 5:28
  day
• 5:29
  challenge
• 5:29
  starting
• 5:30
  January
• 5:30
  19th
• 5:31
  called
• 5:31
  Show
• 5:32
  up
• 5:32
  and
• 5:32
  Shine.
• 5:33
  For
• 5:33
  seven
• 5:33
  days,
• 5:33
  we're
• 5:34
  going
• 5:34
  to
• 5:34
  be
• 5:34
  working
• 5:34
  on
• 5:35
  stopping
• 5:35
  the
• 5:35
  self
• 5:35
  sabotage,
• 5:36
  quieting
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  inner
• 5:38
  critic,
• 5:38
  and
• 5:38
  showing
• 5:39
  up
• 5:39
  with
• 5:39
  confidence
• 5:40
  in
• 5:40
  your
• 5:40
  voice
• 5:41
  and
• 5:41
  your
• 5:41
  style
• 5:42
  and
• 5:43
  also
• 5:43
  learning
• 5:43
  how
• 5:43
  to
• 5:44
  take
• 5:44
  up
• 5:44
  space
• 5:44
  without
• 5:45
  feeling
• 5:45
  fake
• 5:45
  or
• 5:46
  forced.
• 5:47
  You
• 5:47
  don't
• 5:47
  need
• 5:47
  to
• 5:48
  be
• 5:48
  louder.
• 5:49
  You
• 5:49
  don't
• 5:49
  need
• 5:49
  to
• 5:49
  be
• 5:49
  perfect.
• 5:50
  You
• 5:50
  just
• 5:51
  need
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  stop
• 5:51
  talking
• 5:52
  yourself
• 5:52
  out
• 5:53
  of
• 5:53
  being
• 5:53
  visible.
• 5:55
  So
• 5:55
  if
• 5:55
  this
• 5:56
  episode
• 5:56
  felt
• 5:56
  like
• 5:56
  a
• 5:57
  mirror,
• 5:57
  then
• 5:57
  this
• 5:57
  challenge
• 5:58
  is
• 5:58
  going
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  be
• 5:59
  your
• 5:59
  practice.
• 6:00
  The
• 6:00
  link
• 6:00
  to
• 6:01
  join
• 6:01
  the
• 6:01
  challenge
• 6:01
  is
• 6:01
  going
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  be
• 6:02
  in
• 6:02
  the
• 6:02
  show.
• 6:02
  Notes
• 6:02
  come
• 6:03
  do
• 6:03
  this
• 6:03
  with
• 6:03
  us?
• 6:04
  Because
• 6:04
  you
• 6:04
  were
• 6:05
  not
• 6:05
  meant
• 6:05
  to
• 6:05
  watch
• 6:06
  from
• 6:06
  the
• 6:06
  sidelines
• 6:07
  anymore,
• 6:17
  Sam.