Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 9th, 2026: Iran, Alyssa Liu And Friend Dates

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March 9th, 2026: Iran, Alyssa Liu And Friend Dates · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is sponsored by Daylight Savings Time Jetlag.
• 0:04
  Even though no one cares about this anymore. Timothee Chalamet on opera and
• 0:10
  ballet, apparently not being cared about anymore.
• 0:13
  Insert theme song here. This is the Daily Starcast. I give you the news and
• 0:17
  maybe a laugh. I'm Lindsay Vernick and it's March 9th, 2026.
• 0:21
  I hope you all had a great weekend and had an amazing Sunday because it was
• 0:25
  so gorgeous out yesterday and it's supposed to be like really nice out today.
• 0:29
  And tomorrow, too, and hopefully for the rest of the week.
• 0:32
  In real news, as we all know, we're unofficially officially at war with Iran.
• 0:37
  The U.S. and Israeli forces have hit about 4,000 places in Iran,
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  destroying large parts of their air defenses and navy and significantly reducing
• 0:46
  its ability to launch missiles and drones.
• 0:48
  But while the military campaign has been effective, the big plan here is very unclear.
• 0:54
  Trump has given different explanations for the war's goals.
• 0:57
  At different times, he has called for a popular uprising in Iran,
• 1:01
  said he doesn't care what happens to the country after the war,
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  and then suggested he might help choose Iran's next leader.
• 1:08
  Most recently, he demanded Iran's unconditional surrender.
• 1:12
  Who knows what he's going to suggest this week.
• 1:15
  Iran, meanwhile, appears prepared for the long game here.
• 1:18
  After an incident last year, Iranian leaders developed a strategy called Operation
• 1:23
  Madman. It is designed to make the war as expensive as possible by expanding
• 1:28
  the conflict across the Middle East.
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  Now, oil prices are rising, regional airports and shipping have been disrupted, and the U.S.
• 1:36
  Military presence in the region has surged to over 50,000 troops.
• 1:40
  The first week alone cost the U.S. about $6 billion, so much for trying to get out of debt.
• 1:46
  Olympic gold medalist Alyssa Liu has pulled out from the upcoming World Figure
• 1:50
  Skating Championship in Prague later this month.
• 1:53
  Alyssa just won two gold medals at the 2026 Winter Olympics and has spent the
• 1:58
  past couple weeks doing non-stop interviews and appearances.
• 2:02
  Apparently, skipping worlds right after the Olympics isn't that unusual because
• 2:05
  the Olympic season is so exhausting. I mean, duh.
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  Alyssa has also been open in the past about prioritizing her mental health.
• 2:13
  Like, good for her. She actually retired from skating at 16 before coming back
• 2:17
  and winning the Olympic gold, which is unreal.
• 2:20
  So instead of her defending her world title, she's taking some time off and
• 2:24
  another skater will take her spot on TMUSA.
• 2:27
  A memorial plaque honoring the police officers who defended the Capitol during the January 6th U.S.
• 2:33
  Capitol attack has finally been installed inside the United States Capitol.
• 2:37
  The plaque was actually required by law to be put up by March 2023,
• 2:42
  but it took more than three extra years to show up.
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  That's procrastination at its finest. So early Saturday morning around 4 a.m.,
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  while most of the city was asleep,
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  workers from the architect of the capital quietly put out the bronze plaque
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  onto a granite wall near the west entrance, close to where rioters had gathered
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  during the attack, as if no one would notice.
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  It kind of feels like when I used to sneak back into my parents' house in the
• 3:07
  middle of the night, even though they still knew I wasn't there when they went to bed.
• 3:12
  Like, everybody knows what happened. You don't need to do it in the middle of the night.
• 3:16
  In Lindsay life, I've been going out with a lot of different girls lately,
• 3:20
  but, like, not in the way you think.
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  I've been meeting a lot of amazing other women who have been doing stand-up,
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  and they're all so funny and so nice.
• 3:29
  Saturday, I met up with a girl I've only met up with once before,
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  and she came up to me while sitting at the bar, and she said, Lindsay?
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  And I was like, oh my god, hi. And she was like, I wasn't sure if it was you
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  or not, so I was just going to shoot my shot. It literally felt like a hinge date.
• 3:43
  Thing of this week is it's finally getting nice out. The sun is staying out
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  later, people are coming out of their apartments, some still in their winter
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  coats, while others are wearing shorts and a tank top. It's very confusing.
• 3:55
  It was also daylight savings times, which means we lost an hour of sleep.
• 3:58
  We gained the illusion that life is better because it's still light outside at 6 p.m.
• 4:02
  Nothing is better though than seasonal depression coming
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  to an end like the second it hits 55 degrees
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  in the northeast everyone acts like we're all in miami everyone's sitting
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  outside people are drinking rosé and parkas and everyone's having a picnic in
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  the park but honestly after this winter we'll take it cooking tip of the day
• 4:21
  locally bought meat is truly so much better than store bought feedback comments
• 4:26
  questions a nice jewish by looking for a date email me at lindsay at dailystarcast.com.
• 4:31
  Thanks so much for listening. Have a great day and I will talk to you guys tomorrow.