Latest / Brooke and Jeffrey: Phone Taps / Phone Tap: FEU
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, time for your
- 0:01Speaker 1: prank phone call. And for the last two years, a
- 0:05Speaker 1: guy in our city has been running a successful food truck.
- 0:08Speaker 1: We're talking five star reviews, lots of return customers. Things
- 0:13Speaker 1: are going really well, except for one tiny headache. He
- 0:17Speaker 1: recently complained to his wife. The city is making things
- 0:21Speaker 1: tough around him. Oh, kind of makes sense, whether they're
- 0:24Speaker 1: jacking up fees or different types of rules and permits,
- 0:28Speaker 1: whatever it may be. I think it's time that he
- 0:30Speaker 1: gets a call from the FEU. What's that? That's the
- 0:34Speaker 1: made up government agency, the Food Enforcement Unit. In your
- 0:40Speaker 1: phone tap right.
- 0:41Speaker 2: Now, Brook and Jeffrey's phone taps on the twenties.
- 0:46Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, sir am I speaking to Jared. Yes, this
- 0:52Speaker 3: names Officer Dottie Higgins from the city Food Code Enforcement Unit.
- 0:58Speaker 4: OO Code Enforcement.
- 1:00Speaker 3: That's right f you woh f me, No, sir, f
- 1:05Speaker 3: EU Food Enforcement Unit.
- 1:08Speaker 4: I thought you said something, Nils, But what is this regarding.
- 1:13Speaker 3: I can see if you could listen from your previous
- 1:18Speaker 3: actions with your food truck that you could give two
- 1:20Speaker 3: craps about how your food affects this city's population. What Oh,
- 1:26Speaker 3: we have you clocked because last week when you were
- 1:28Speaker 3: atre plaza, Okay, turns out your food truck was parked
- 1:32Speaker 3: five inches off the curb.
- 1:35Speaker 4: Huh, what the hell do they have to do with anything?
- 1:39Speaker 3: You and I both know you're supposed to be eight
- 1:41Speaker 3: to ten.
- 1:42Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm.
- 1:43Speaker 2: Not out there with a tape measure. Oh, I'm sorry,
- 1:46Speaker 2: but I just need to know. How does that affect
- 1:48Speaker 2: anything that the food enforcement cold people need to know about?
- 1:52Speaker 3: Wow, it affects everything, thank you very much. Because the
- 1:57Speaker 3: smell of your garlic fries wafted in the park and
- 2:00Speaker 3: a public nuisance, a public that's right. We got a
- 2:03Speaker 3: complaint from a seventy three year old woman who said
- 2:06Speaker 3: she couldn't sit on her favorite bench because of the smell.
- 2:09Speaker 4: This is ridiculous. It's a food truck. It's going to
- 2:12Speaker 4: smell like food.
- 2:14Speaker 3: Okay, tough guy, Okay, So public well being is ridiculous
- 2:19Speaker 3: to you now, Huh.
- 2:20Speaker 4: No, No, it's just it's I don't know why you're laughing.
- 2:23Speaker 4: It's just so nick piggy. I mean, if you wanted
- 2:25Speaker 4: me to move my truck.
- 2:27Speaker 3: You know what, you listen to me, because we're beyond that, sir,
- 2:30Speaker 3: We are well beyond that. The next time we see
- 2:32Speaker 3: your truck out and about, you are subject to potential
- 2:36Speaker 3: in pounds.
- 2:38Speaker 4: You know what's this city high at this new mayor,
- 2:44Speaker 4: everything went the hell you're calling me about moving my
- 2:47Speaker 4: trucks three matches? How can you imagined three inches from
- 2:51Speaker 4: that far away?
- 2:52Speaker 3: I knew you'd be one to blame somebody else, But sir,
- 2:54Speaker 3: it is eight to ten inches. We've gone over there.
- 2:59Speaker 4: At this point, I might as well shut the whole
- 3:01Speaker 4: damn thing down.
- 3:03Speaker 3: Let's not go there, Let's not get crazy.
- 3:07Speaker 4: I'm going there. What's the point if it's city regulations
- 3:10Speaker 4: on this street?
- 3:11Speaker 3: Wow, let's all take a deep breath, because maybe I
- 3:14Speaker 3: can find some wiggle room for you.
- 3:17Speaker 4: What does that supposed to mean? Wiggle room?
- 3:19Speaker 3: I'm just saying. Rumor is on Reddit that you make
- 3:23Speaker 3: a mean crispy chicken sandwich. If you know what I mean?
- 3:26Speaker 4: So what?
- 3:27Speaker 3: So what you can't see me winking? I'm winking right now,
- 3:30Speaker 3: mean crispy chicken sandwich? Wink?
- 3:33Speaker 4: So what what is the weekends? Both mean what? You
- 3:37Speaker 4: want me to stop serving that too?
- 3:39Speaker 3: Okay, you're not getting it, actually just the opposite. Maybe
- 3:42Speaker 3: let Officer Dottie over here, sample it for free. Huh,
- 3:45Speaker 3: and then we pretend this conversation never happened. Excuse me,
- 3:49Speaker 3: that's right. I'll rip up that garlic f I saitation
- 3:52Speaker 3: faster than you can blink. Okay, and the parking ticket too. Shoot,
- 3:56Speaker 3: will even pop some handcuffs on that old wind bag
- 3:58Speaker 3: that complained about you, and just be on our web.
- 4:02Speaker 3: No harm, no foul am I right?
- 4:04Speaker 4: Okay? So now you want me to food to bribe you.
- 4:08Speaker 3: Oh sir, We're not using those type of words, aren't we.
- 4:13Speaker 2: I mean, what is it?
- 4:14Speaker 4: What? What else is it?
- 4:15Speaker 3: I think it's absolutely nothing, because remember this call never happened.
- 4:20Speaker 4: You know what, I'm gonna report you. What was your
- 4:23Speaker 4: name again? You're getting reported?
- 4:25Speaker 3: No, sir, you've been reported.
- 4:27Speaker 4: Well no, no, I'm reporting you now.
- 4:29Speaker 3: But that's not how this works. You can't be reported
- 4:32Speaker 3: and then you report me, and then I report you again.
- 4:34Speaker 3: That just doesn't make any sense.
- 4:35Speaker 2: Watch how it goes. I'm gonna make it make sense.
- 4:38Speaker 3: I don't think you're listening, Okay, as long as we
- 4:40Speaker 3: can just schedule a delivery of two to three of
- 4:42Speaker 3: those babies once a week at no charge to me,
- 4:45Speaker 3: I'm not even looking in your direction.
- 4:48Speaker 4: I hope this call is recorded. You aren't storting me
- 4:51Speaker 4: out of my food. You know what?
- 4:53Speaker 3: You got something right? Finally, sir, because this call is
- 4:55Speaker 3: definitely being recorded. Good, it's being courted for the radio station.
- 5:01Speaker 3: Because this is actually Brooke from Brook and Jeffrey in
- 5:03Speaker 3: the Morning doing a phone tap.
- 5:05Speaker 4: On You know.
- 5:07Speaker 3: Your wife, Evie set you up for a prank phone call,
- 5:10Speaker 3: she says. She listens, and he wanted to make you
- 5:13Speaker 3: laugh because running a food truck is not easy business.
- 5:17Speaker 2: Oh I can't believe I was so happy I can
- 5:20Speaker 2: laugh about this now because that was about to ruin
- 5:23Speaker 2: my whole day.
- 5:24Speaker 3: The FEU is not messing around.
- 5:26Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you for real, Brook In Jeffrey's phone taps
- 5:33Speaker 2: on the twenties