Latest / The Daily Sarcast / March 6th, 2026: Kristi Noem, Import Taxes And Awkward Breakups

Transcript

March 6th, 2026: Kristi Noem, Import Taxes And Awkward Breakups · The Daily Sarcast

• 0:00
  Today's episode is brought to you by the girl with the worst laugh who lives upstairs.
• 0:04
  What could actually be so funny that she's constantly laughing every night, all night long?
• 0:10
  Britney is going to take the right steps and comply with the law,
• 0:13
  and hopefully this can be the first steps in long overdue change that need to
• 0:17
  occur in Britney's life.
• 0:19
  Hopefully she can get the help and support she needs during this difficult time.
• 0:23
  Britney Spears' rep on being arrested yesterday in 2026.
• 0:29
  Insert theme song here this is the daily star cast i
• 0:32
  give you the news and maybe a laugh i'm lindsey vernick and it's march
• 0:35
  6 2026 so i don't know
• 0:37
  about you but all of this war stuff
• 0:40
  right now going on is like really extra stressing me out which is why i have
• 0:45
  not been covering it really on the podcast i just talked about it on monday
• 0:49
  i'm kind of trying to stay away from it because it really does stress me out
• 0:53
  but i might update it i'll probably do a little update it again on it on Monday,
• 0:59
  but just that's why I'm not talking about it.
• 1:00
  And obviously, I know that this is like your only news source,
• 1:04
  but like maybe try to listen to another source if you are dying to absolutely know what is happening.
• 1:11
  In real news, winter is almost over. The clocks spring forward on Sunday at
• 1:16
  2 a.m., but the whole system might be on its way out anyways.
• 1:20
  British Columbia just passed a law to stay on daylight savings time permanently,
• 1:25
  meaning this weekend will be their last clock change ever.
• 1:28
  There was a huge survey found that 93% of people supported ditching the switch,
• 1:34
  which makes sense because nobody enjoys feeling jet-lagged from not even traveling at all.
• 1:39
  Meanwhile, in the States, lawmakers are floating a Daylight Act of 2026 that
• 1:45
  would shift clocks by 30 minutes instead of the full hour, which proves that
• 1:50
  once again, when Congress is faced with a bad system,
• 1:53
  the government's solution is to make it slightly confusing instead of fixing it.
• 1:57
  Trump announced yesterday that he is removing Kristi Noem as Secretary of Homeland
• 2:00
  Security after she's been faced with months of criticism over her handling of
• 2:05
  immigration enforcement and disputes around the future of FEMA.
• 2:08
  Trump said she'll be replaced by Oklahoma Senator Mark Wayne Mullen at the end of this month.
• 2:14
  Kristi Noem won't be leaving the administration entirely, though.
• 2:17
  She's going to take on a new position called Special Envoy for the Shield of
• 2:22
  the Americas, which sounds like a job title someone made up for a press release.
• 2:26
  Two dozen states are suing Trump over his new 10% global import tax,
• 2:31
  claiming he doesn't actually have the legal authority to oppose it.
• 2:34
  This is the latest twist in the saga that has already cost the administration
• 2:38
  billions and clogged up multiple courts.
• 2:41
  Trump had previously lost a Supreme Court case over his old tariffs,
• 2:46
  but apparently he decided that his best response is, just try again with a slightly
• 2:50
  different law and hope nobody notices.
• 2:53
  He's now invoking Section 122 of the Trade Act of 1974.
• 2:58
  It's a law no president has ever used, and he's claiming the U.S.
• 3:02
  Trade deficit somehow justifies taxing the world.
• 3:05
  The states, led by Democratic attorney generals from Oregon,
• 3:09
  New York, California, and Arizona, argue the law wasn't meant for this.
• 3:13
  Economists agree. The U.S. isn't exactly on the brink of collapse the way it
• 3:17
  might have been when the law was written in the 1970s, and yet here we are.
• 3:22
  And if Trump loses this, the administration could be forced to refund billions again.
• 3:27
  And if he wins, the tariffs will go up to 15%. It's kind of like gambling here.
• 3:34
  This past week, my sister was supposed to come over for dinner.
• 3:37
  But then, like, it was 30, 45 minutes late, and she wasn't here,
• 3:43
  and I haven't heard from her, and she wasn't answering her phone.
• 3:46
  So I started freaking out, and her location says that she's been home.
• 3:50
  So I was so confused, like, what could possibly be wrong?
• 3:54
  So I sent her boyfriend an Instagram message, like, hey, have you heard from Nicole?
• 3:59
  It's been a little bit. I don't know where she is. Do you know if she's okay?
• 4:03
  It turns out she was breaking up with him, and that's why I haven't heard from her.
• 4:08
  Awkward. An MVP this week goes to a dog named Mo Bamba, who just won a neighborhood
• 4:13
  mayor election in Austin with over 12,000 votes.
• 4:18
  His opponent was a cat who previously held the office, which obviously makes perfect sense.
• 4:24
  Mo Bamba's campaign platform was more fire hydrants, better access to fetch, and general good vibes.
• 4:30
  His policies are so solid, you'd almost think that he had a marketing team behind him.
• 4:35
  His approval rate is currently at
• 4:36
  100%, which is more than you can say for literally any other politician.
• 4:42
  He doesn't have any scandals, no endless debates, no awkward speeches.
• 4:47
  He's just a dog doing the job. Just really nice to see at least somebody's out
• 4:52
  here doing their job and everybody likes them and it's all good.
• 4:56
  Cooking tip of the day. Actually eat what you make when you cook instead of going out to dinner.
• 5:02
  Feedback, comments, questions, a nice Jewish boy looking for a date,
• 5:05
  email me at lindsay at thedailycircus.com. thanks so much for listening have
• 5:09
  a great weekend it's supposed to be gorgeous out tomorrow so enjoy and i will
• 5:12
  talk to you guys on monday.