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Note 29: Don’t Roll Into the New Year Without This Reflection · Notes to Her

• 0:16
  Hey,
• 0:16
  girl.
• 0:17
  Hey.
• 0:17
  Welcome
• 0:17
  back
• 0:17
  to
• 0:18
  Notes
• 0:18
  to
• 0:18
  Her,
• 0:18
  the
• 0:19
  daily
• 0:19
  pep
• 0:19
  talk.
• 0:19
  I'm
• 0:20
  Yaya,
• 0:20
  your
• 0:20
  confidence
• 0:21
  and
• 0:21
  mindset
• 0:21
  coach,
• 0:22
  here
• 0:22
  to
• 0:22
  help
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  stop
• 0:23
  rushing
• 0:23
  past
• 0:24
  the
• 0:24
  lessons,
• 0:24
  stop
• 0:25
  avoiding
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  harsh
• 0:26
  truths,
• 0:26
  and
• 0:27
  start
• 0:27
  moving
• 0:27
  forward
• 0:27
  with
• 0:28
  intention
• 0:28
  instead
• 0:29
  of
• 0:29
  pressure.
• 0:30
  And
• 0:30
  before
• 0:30
  we
• 0:30
  jump
• 0:31
  in
• 0:31
  real
• 0:31
  quick,
• 0:31
  make
• 0:32
  sure
• 0:32
  you're
• 0:32
  following
• 0:32
  or
• 0:33
  subscribed
• 0:33
  so
• 0:33
  that
• 0:33
  you
• 0:33
  don't
• 0:34
  miss
• 0:34
  the
• 0:34
  next
• 0:34
  notes.
• 0:35
  These
• 0:35
  conversations
• 0:36
  build
• 0:36
  on
• 0:37
  each
• 0:37
  other,
• 0:37
  and
• 0:38
  today's
• 0:38
  one,
• 0:39
  this
• 0:39
  one
• 0:39
  matters.
• 0:41
  So
• 0:41
  I
• 0:41
  know
• 0:41
  we're
• 0:41
  standing
• 0:42
  at
• 0:42
  the
• 0:42
  edge
• 0:42
  of
• 0:42
  a
• 0:43
  new
• 0:43
  year,
• 0:43
  and
• 0:43
  the
• 0:43
  pressure
• 0:44
  is
• 0:44
  already
• 0:45
  loud.
• 0:45
  New
• 0:46
  goals,
• 0:46
  new
• 0:46
  habits,
• 0:47
  new
• 0:47
  routines,
• 0:48
  new
• 0:48
  versions
• 0:49
  of
• 0:49
  you.
• 0:50
  But
• 0:50
  before
• 0:50
  you
• 0:51
  roll
• 0:51
  into
• 0:51
  the
• 0:51
  new
• 0:51
  year,
• 0:52
  trying
• 0:52
  to
• 0:52
  reinvent
• 0:53
  everything,
• 0:54
  we
• 0:54
  need
• 0:54
  to
• 0:54
  talk.
• 0:55
  Because
• 0:55
  if
• 0:55
  you
• 0:56
  don't
• 0:56
  pause
• 0:56
  and
• 0:56
  reflect,
• 0:57
  you're
• 0:57
  just
• 0:57
  going
• 0:58
  to
• 0:58
  be
• 0:58
  carrying
• 0:58
  old
• 0:59
  patterns
• 0:59
  into
• 0:59
  a
• 1:00
  new
• 1:00
  calendar.
• 1:10
  Now,
• 1:11
  if
• 1:11
  you
• 1:11
  rush
• 1:11
  into
• 1:11
  the
• 1:12
  new
• 1:12
  year
• 1:12
  without
• 1:12
  reflecting
• 1:13
  on
• 1:13
  this
• 1:13
  year,
• 1:14
  you
• 1:14
  will
• 1:14
  repeat
• 1:15
  it.
• 1:15
  Not
• 1:16
  because
• 1:16
  you're
• 1:16
  lazy,
• 1:17
  not
• 1:17
  because
• 1:17
  you
• 1:17
  didn't
• 1:18
  want
• 1:18
  it
• 1:18
  badly
• 1:18
  enough,
• 1:19
  but
• 1:19
  because
• 1:20
  unprocessed
• 1:21
  seasons
• 1:21
  don't
• 1:22
  disappear.
• 1:23
  They
• 1:23
  resurface.
• 1:24
  And
• 1:24
  too
• 1:25
  many
• 1:25
  women
• 1:25
  are
• 1:25
  sprinting
• 1:26
  into
• 1:27
  January
• 1:27
  without
• 1:28
  ever
• 1:28
  asking
• 1:28
  themselves,
• 1:29
  what
• 1:30
  did
• 1:30
  this
• 1:30
  year
• 1:30
  actually
• 1:30
  teach
• 1:31
  me?
• 1:31
  Where
• 1:32
  did
• 1:32
  I
• 1:32
  grow?
• 1:33
  Even
• 1:33
  when
• 1:33
  it
• 1:33
  hurt,
• 1:34
  what
• 1:34
  am
• 1:35
  I
• 1:35
  still
• 1:35
  carrying?
• 1:35
  That
• 1:36
  doesn't
• 1:36
  belong
• 1:36
  in
• 1:36
  my
• 1:37
  next
• 1:37
  chapter.
• 1:38
  So
• 1:38
  this
• 1:39
  note
• 1:39
  is
• 1:39
  your
• 1:39
  pause,
• 1:41
  your
• 1:41
  exhale,
• 1:42
  Your
• 1:42
  moment
• 1:43
  to
• 1:43
  look
• 1:43
  back
• 1:43
  without
• 1:44
  shame
• 1:45
  so
• 1:45
  that
• 1:45
  you
• 1:45
  can
• 1:46
  move
• 1:46
  forward
• 1:46
  with
• 1:46
  clarity.
• 1:50
  Most
• 1:50
  women
• 1:50
  skip
• 1:50
  reflection
• 1:51
  because
• 1:51
  they're
• 1:52
  afraid
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  what
• 1:53
  they
• 1:53
  will
• 1:53
  find.
• 1:54
  They
• 1:54
  don't
• 1:55
  want
• 1:55
  to
• 1:55
  admit
• 1:55
  that
• 1:56
  they've
• 1:56
  stayed
• 1:56
  too
• 1:56
  long.
• 1:57
  They've
• 1:58
  ignored
• 1:58
  red
• 1:58
  flags,
• 1:59
  they
• 2:00
  played
• 2:00
  small.
• 2:01
  They
• 2:01
  didn't
• 2:02
  speak
• 2:02
  up
• 2:03
  that
• 2:03
  some
• 2:03
  things
• 2:03
  ended
• 2:04
  painfully
• 2:05
  or
• 2:05
  quietly.
• 2:07
  So
• 2:07
  instead,
• 2:07
  they
• 2:08
  jump
• 2:08
  straight
• 2:08
  to,
• 2:09
  next
• 2:09
  year
• 2:09
  will
• 2:09
  be
• 2:09
  different.
• 2:10
  But
• 2:11
  different
• 2:11
  doesn't
• 2:11
  come
• 2:12
  from
• 2:12
  denial.
• 2:13
  Different
• 2:13
  comes
• 2:14
  from
• 2:14
  awareness.
• 2:16
  Reflection
• 2:16
  isn't
• 2:17
  about
• 2:17
  beating
• 2:17
  yourself
• 2:18
  up.
• 2:18
  It's
• 2:19
  about
• 2:19
  taking
• 2:20
  your
• 2:20
  power
• 2:20
  back.
• 2:21
  Because
• 2:22
  when
• 2:22
  you
• 2:22
  name
• 2:22
  what
• 2:22
  happened,
• 2:23
  you
• 2:24
  stop
• 2:24
  letting
• 2:24
  it
• 2:25
  control
• 2:25
  you.
• 2:26
  So
• 2:27
  I
• 2:27
  want
• 2:27
  you
• 2:27
  to
• 2:27
  picture
• 2:27
  yourself
• 2:28
  sitting
• 2:28
  somewhere
• 2:29
  quiet.
• 2:30
  No
• 2:30
  phone
• 2:30
  in
• 2:30
  hand,
• 2:31
  no
• 2:32
  pressure
• 2:32
  to
• 2:32
  fix
• 2:32
  anything.
• 2:34
  Just
• 2:34
  you
• 2:34
  being
• 2:35
  honest
• 2:35
  with
• 2:35
  yourself
• 2:36
  for
• 2:36
  once.
• 2:37
  Because
• 2:37
  most
• 2:38
  women
• 2:38
  never
• 2:38
  give
• 2:39
  themselves
• 2:39
  the
• 2:39
  space
• 2:40
  to
• 2:40
  actually
• 2:40
  ask
• 2:40
  these
• 2:41
  questions.
• 2:42
  They
• 2:42
  just
• 2:42
  survive
• 2:43
  the
• 2:43
  year
• 2:43
  and
• 2:44
  move
• 2:44
  on.
• 2:45
  And
• 2:45
  I
• 2:45
  don't
• 2:45
  want
• 2:46
  you
• 2:46
  rushing
• 2:46
  into
• 2:46
  the
• 2:46
  new
• 2:47
  year.
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  want
• 2:47
  you
• 2:48
  arriving
• 2:48
  there.
• 2:50
  So
• 2:50
  ask
• 2:50
  yourself
• 2:51
  these
• 2:51
  questions
• 2:51
  honestly.
• 2:53
  The
• 2:53
  first
• 2:53
  one
• 2:53
  is,
• 2:54
  where
• 2:54
  did
• 2:55
  I
• 2:55
  abandon
• 2:55
  myself
• 2:56
  this
• 2:56
  year?
• 2:58
  Where
• 2:58
  did
• 2:58
  you
• 2:58
  stay
• 2:59
  quiet
• 2:59
  when
• 2:59
  you
• 2:59
  wanted
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  speak?
• 3:01
  Say
• 3:02
  yes.
• 3:02
  When
• 3:02
  your
• 3:02
  body
• 3:03
  said
• 3:03
  no?
• 3:04
  Shrink
• 3:05
  to
• 3:05
  keep
• 3:05
  the
• 3:06
  peace.
• 3:07
  That's
• 3:08
  not
• 3:08
  shame.
• 3:09
  That's
• 3:09
  information.
• 3:12
  Two,
• 3:13
  what
• 3:13
  did
• 3:13
  I
• 3:13
  tolerate
• 3:14
  that
• 3:14
  I
• 3:14
  won't
• 3:15
  tolerate
• 3:15
  again?
• 3:17
  In
• 3:17
  relationships,
• 3:19
  at
• 3:19
  work,
• 3:20
  with
• 3:21
  family,
• 3:22
  with
• 3:22
  yourself.
• 3:24
  Growth
• 3:25
  isn't
• 3:25
  Pretending
• 3:26
  it
• 3:26
  didn't
• 3:26
  happen.
• 3:27
  It's
• 3:27
  deciding
• 3:28
  it
• 3:28
  won't
• 3:29
  happen
• 3:29
  twice.
• 3:31
  3.
• 3:33
  Where
• 3:33
  did
• 3:33
  I
• 3:33
  surprise
• 3:34
  myself?
• 3:35
  This
• 3:35
  one
• 3:36
  matters
• 3:36
  more
• 3:36
  than
• 3:36
  you
• 3:37
  think.
• 3:38
  Where
• 3:38
  were
• 3:38
  you
• 3:38
  stronger
• 3:39
  than
• 3:39
  you
• 3:39
  expected?
• 3:41
  Where
• 3:41
  did
• 3:41
  you
• 3:41
  keep
• 3:41
  going
• 3:42
  even
• 3:42
  when
• 3:42
  it
• 3:42
  was
• 3:43
  hard?
• 3:44
  Where
• 3:44
  did
• 3:44
  you
• 3:44
  show
• 3:45
  resilience
• 3:45
  that
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  don't
• 3:46
  give
• 3:46
  yourself
• 3:47
  credit
• 3:47
  for?
• 3:48
  You
• 3:48
  didn't
• 3:49
  make
• 3:49
  it
• 3:49
  through
• 3:49
  this
• 3:49
  year
• 3:50
  by
• 3:50
  accident.
• 3:52
  And
• 3:53
  then
• 3:53
  four.
• 3:54
  What
• 3:54
  version
• 3:55
  of
• 3:55
  me
• 3:55
  am
• 3:55
  I
• 3:56
  ready
• 3:56
  to
• 3:56
  release?
• 3:58
  The.
• 3:58
  The
• 3:58
  over
• 3:58
  apologizer?
• 4:00
  The
• 4:00
  people
• 4:01
  pleaser?
• 4:02
  The
• 4:03
  woman
• 4:03
  who
• 4:03
  waited
• 4:03
  for
• 4:04
  permission?
• 4:05
  The
• 4:06
  version
• 4:06
  of
• 4:06
  you
• 4:06
  that
• 4:06
  said
• 4:07
  stuck
• 4:07
  because
• 4:07
  fear
• 4:08
  felt
• 4:08
  safer
• 4:09
  than
• 4:09
  change.
• 4:10
  You
• 4:11
  don't
• 4:11
  have
• 4:11
  to
• 4:11
  drag
• 4:12
  her
• 4:12
  into
• 4:12
  the
• 4:12
  new
• 4:12
  year.
• 4:15
  Now.
• 4:15
  Here's
• 4:15
  what
• 4:15
  most
• 4:16
  women
• 4:16
  get
• 4:16
  wrong
• 4:16
  about
• 4:16
  reflection.
• 4:17
  They
• 4:17
  think
• 4:18
  that
• 4:18
  it's
• 4:18
  about
• 4:18
  reliving
• 4:19
  pain
• 4:19
  or
• 4:20
  opening
• 4:21
  wounds
• 4:21
  again
• 4:22
  or
• 4:22
  beating
• 4:22
  themselves
• 4:23
  up
• 4:23
  for
• 4:23
  what
• 4:23
  they
• 4:23
  should
• 4:24
  have
• 4:24
  known
• 4:24
  better.
• 4:25
  But
• 4:25
  that's
• 4:25
  not
• 4:26
  reflection.
• 4:27
  That's
• 4:27
  self
• 4:28
  punishment.
• 4:29
  Real
• 4:29
  reflection
• 4:30
  is
• 4:30
  neutral.
• 4:31
  It's
• 4:31
  curious.
• 4:32
  It's
• 4:33
  compassionate.
• 4:34
  It
• 4:34
  sounds
• 4:35
  like,
• 4:35
  oh,
• 4:36
  that's
• 4:37
  why
• 4:37
  that
• 4:37
  kept
• 4:37
  happening.
• 4:39
  And
• 4:39
  once
• 4:39
  you
• 4:39
  see
• 4:39
  it
• 4:40
  clearly,
• 4:40
  you
• 4:40
  stop
• 4:41
  repeating
• 4:41
  it.
• 4:43
  Listen,
• 4:44
  this
• 4:44
  year
• 4:45
  may
• 4:45
  not
• 4:45
  have
• 4:45
  looked
• 4:45
  how
• 4:46
  you
• 4:46
  imagined
• 4:46
  it,
• 4:47
  but
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  need
• 4:48
  you
• 4:48
  to
• 4:48
  hear
• 4:48
  this
• 4:48
  part.
• 4:49
  Especially
• 4:49
  if
• 4:49
  you
• 4:50
  were
• 4:50
  disappointed
• 4:50
  in
• 4:50
  yourself.
• 4:52
  You
• 4:52
  did
• 4:52
  the
• 4:53
  best
• 4:53
  you
• 4:53
  could
• 4:53
  with
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  version
• 4:54
  of
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  that
• 4:55
  existed
• 4:55
  at
• 4:55
  the
• 4:56
  time.
• 4:57
  Not
• 4:57
  the
• 4:57
  healed
• 4:58
  version,
• 4:59
  not
• 4:59
  the
• 4:59
  confident
• 5:00
  version,
• 5:01
  not
• 5:01
  the
• 5:01
  version
• 5:01
  that
• 5:02
  knows
• 5:02
  what
• 5:02
  she
• 5:03
  knows
• 5:03
  now.
• 5:04
  Give
• 5:05
  her
• 5:05
  grace.
• 5:06
  Because
• 5:06
  she
• 5:06
  got
• 5:07
  you
• 5:07
  here.
• 5:08
  Some
• 5:08
  things
• 5:09
  didn't
• 5:09
  work
• 5:09
  out.
• 5:10
  Some
• 5:10
  doors
• 5:11
  closed.
• 5:12
  Some
• 5:12
  plans
• 5:13
  fell
• 5:13
  apart
• 5:13
  quietly
• 5:14
  or
• 5:14
  maybe
• 5:15
  loudly.
• 5:15
  But
• 5:16
  that
• 5:16
  doesn't
• 5:16
  mean
• 5:16
  that
• 5:17
  you
• 5:17
  failed.
• 5:18
  Sometimes
• 5:18
  the
• 5:19
  year
• 5:19
  isn't
• 5:19
  about
• 5:19
  winning.
• 5:20
  It's
• 5:20
  about
• 5:21
  waking
• 5:21
  up,
• 5:22
  about
• 5:22
  realizing
• 5:23
  what
• 5:24
  you
• 5:24
  can't
• 5:24
  do
• 5:24
  anymore,
• 5:25
  who
• 5:26
  you
• 5:26
  can't
• 5:26
  be
• 5:26
  anymore,
• 5:27
  who
• 5:28
  you
• 5:28
  won't
• 5:28
  accept
• 5:29
  anymore.
• 5:30
  That's
• 5:31
  awareness.
• 5:32
  That's
• 5:32
  growth.
• 5:34
  And
• 5:34
  growth
• 5:34
  deserves
• 5:35
  to
• 5:35
  be
• 5:35
  acknowledged,
• 5:37
  not
• 5:37
  rushed.
• 5:39
  Now,
• 5:39
  one
• 5:40
  more
• 5:40
  thing
• 5:40
  before
• 5:40
  we
• 5:40
  close
• 5:41
  this
• 5:41
  out.
• 5:42
  Don't
• 5:42
  skip
• 5:42
  this
• 5:43
  reflection
• 5:43
  because
• 5:43
  it
• 5:43
  feels
• 5:44
  uncomfortable.
• 5:45
  Discomfort
• 5:45
  is
• 5:46
  usually
• 5:46
  the
• 5:46
  doorway.
• 5:47
  The
• 5:47
  clarity
• 5:48
  that
• 5:48
  you're
• 5:48
  looking
• 5:48
  for
• 5:49
  next
• 5:50
  year
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  hiding.
• 5:51
  And
• 5:51
  the
• 5:51
  honesty
• 5:52
  that
• 5:52
  you've
• 5:52
  been
• 5:52
  avoiding
• 5:52
  this
• 5:53
  year.
• 5:54
  So
• 5:54
  before
• 5:55
  you
• 5:55
  write
• 5:55
  down
• 5:55
  those
• 5:55
  new
• 5:56
  goals,
• 5:56
  before
• 5:57
  you
• 5:57
  declare
• 5:58
  new
• 5:58
  Year,
• 5:58
  new
• 5:59
  you,
• 5:59
  before
• 6:00
  you
• 6:00
  pressure
• 6:00
  yourself
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  have
• 6:01
  it
• 6:01
  all
• 6:01
  figured
• 6:02
  out,
• 6:02
  pause,
• 6:04
  reflect,
• 6:06
  honor
• 6:06
  what
• 6:07
  this
• 6:07
  year
• 6:07
  taught
• 6:07
  you.
• 6:08
  Because
• 6:08
  clarity
• 6:09
  comes
• 6:10
  before
• 6:10
  confidence
• 6:11
  and
• 6:11
  intention
• 6:12
  comes
• 6:12
  before
• 6:13
  momentum.
• 6:14
  And
• 6:14
  if
• 6:14
  you're
• 6:14
  realizing
• 6:15
  that
• 6:15
  some
• 6:15
  of
• 6:16
  these
• 6:16
  patterns
• 6:16
  feel
• 6:16
  bigger
• 6:17
  than
• 6:17
  a
• 6:17
  journal
• 6:18
  entry,
• 6:19
  if
• 6:19
  you're
• 6:19
  noticing
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  same
• 6:20
  theme,
• 6:21
  show
• 6:21
  up
• 6:21
  year
• 6:22
  after
• 6:22
  year.
• 6:23
  That's
• 6:23
  not
• 6:23
  a
• 6:23
  motivation
• 6:24
  problem.
• 6:25
  That
• 6:25
  is
• 6:25
  an
• 6:25
  identity
• 6:26
  pattern.
• 6:27
  And
• 6:28
  if
• 6:28
  this
• 6:28
  note
• 6:28
  made
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  realize
• 6:29
  that
• 6:29
  there's
• 6:29
  some
• 6:30
  inner
• 6:30
  work
• 6:30
  that
• 6:30
  you
• 6:30
  don't
• 6:31
  want
• 6:31
  to
• 6:31
  do
• 6:31
  alone,
• 6:32
  this
• 6:32
  is
• 6:32
  exactly
• 6:33
  what
• 6:33
  we
• 6:33
  do
• 6:33
  in
• 6:33
  Journey
• 6:34
  to
• 6:34
  Confidence.
• 6:35
  This
• 6:35
  is
• 6:35
  where
• 6:35
  we
• 6:35
  unpack
• 6:36
  the
• 6:36
  patterns,
• 6:37
  rebuild
• 6:38
  your
• 6:38
  self
• 6:38
  trust
• 6:39
  and
• 6:39
  help
• 6:39
  you
• 6:40
  walk
• 6:40
  into
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  next
• 6:40
  season
• 6:41
  grounded
• 6:42
  instead
• 6:42
  of
• 6:42
  guessing.
• 6:43
  So
• 6:43
  the
• 6:43
  link
• 6:43
  is
• 6:44
  in
• 6:44
  the
• 6:44
  show
• 6:44
  notes
• 6:44
  when
• 6:45
  you're
• 6:45
  ready.
• 6:46
  You
• 6:46
  don't
• 6:46
  need
• 6:46
  to
• 6:47
  rush
• 6:47
  into
• 6:47
  the
• 6:47
  new
• 6:47
  year,
• 6:48
  you
• 6:48
  need
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  arrive.