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When "More Sex" Isn't the Answer to Your Emptiness · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for April 24th, 2026 When more sex isn't the answer to your
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  emptiness To get it out of the way, I think sex is a need.
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  A marriage needs sex to be healthy and to be what God intended.
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  Most men and many women need sex to feel loved by their spouse.
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  And sexual frustration can cause problems well beyond the marriage.
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  But sometimes when we think we need sex, it's something else.
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  I talked earlier this week about trying to fill a need with something other than what we need.
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  There's a lot of this happening with sex. You need love. You seek sex. You need intimacy.
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  You seek sex. You need touch, and you try to have sex to get it.
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  You're worried, stressed, or bored, and you try to solve it with sex.
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  When we try to fill other needs with sex, we create a desire for sex our spouse can't meet.
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  Even if they did, we would still feel empty. And our spouse may feel resentment about being used.
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  Beyond that, trying to fill non-sexual things with sex messes up sex.
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  We can't fully enjoy and be satisfied with sex when we're trying to use it to
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  deal with something else.
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  It can be difficult for some to see they are doing this because they are not
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  having as much sex as they legitimately need.
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  So they are correct when they say they need more. And that hides the fact that
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  they are trying to get some non-sexual needs met too.
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  If you think you need sex more than four or five times a week,
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  It's very likely you are trying to meet non-sexual needs
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  with sex I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having
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  sex more often than that If you both want that Neither am
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  I suggesting there's anything wrong with you both being satisfied with sex twice
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  a week I'm simply trying to give a guide for valid sexual needs If you are trying
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  to meet non-sexual needs in bed It's hurting your marriage and your sex life
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  This is Paul And making sex about sex is doing sex well.