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The Bedroom Trap: Why Compromise Isn't Doing Sex Well · Doing Marriage Well

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  Doing Marriage Well for March 27, 2026 The Bedroom Trap Why Compromise Isn't
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  Doing Sex Well It's Friday, which means we are at the intersection of sex and compromise.
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  Most couples' sex lives are a patchwork of compromise, and while they may not
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  be equally unhappy, in most cases, both are far from happy about the situation.
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  In the comments, one of you suggested his wife can't see sex as a way of blessing
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  him because she sees it as an obligation.
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  I have a lot of sympathy for women who feel this way. It's a perversion of God's
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  intent, and it's usually driven home by abusing Scripture.
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  If a woman came into marriage expecting sex to be a wonderful way to both give
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  and receive love and pleasure with her spouse, she and her husband would be spared this nightmare.
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  Meanwhile, most men come into marriage with porn-fueled expectations that don't
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  make good, healthy, mutually enjoyed sex possible.
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  It's no wonder so many couples struggle with sex. So what's the answer?
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  I think the solution is to start agreeing with God about sex.
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  Does that make you think, yeah, if my spouse would just agree with God about
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  sex, we wouldn't have any problems?
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  Unless you're a very unusual person, your spouse not agreeing with God is only half the problem.
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  The other half, of course, is where you don't agree with God about sex.
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  To get you thinking, here's a short list of how God would have you live out your sex life.
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  Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. but in humility,
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  count your spouse as more significant than yourself.
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  Look not only to your own desire, but also to the desire of your spouse. See Philippians 2, 3-4.
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  Be quick to offer forgiveness and be intentional about seeking it.
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  See Matthew 5, 23-24 and Colossians 3, 13.
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  If your spouse offends or neglects your sexuality, turn the other cheek. See Matthew 5, 39.
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  Be naked and not ashamed. See Genesis 2, 25. God made sex and said it was good.
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  I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine. She or he enjoys my sexuality.
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  Song of Songs 6.3. Note that grazing is a slow and gentle thing.
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  Offer your body and your mind to your spouse so that they can both give and
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  receive pleasure. See 1 Corinthians 7.4.
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  Enjoy each other's bodies and be intoxicated by the sex you share.
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  See Proverbs 5, 18-19 And finally, outdo one another in showing honor See Romans
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  12, 10 If you both do all these things, the majority of your sexual issues will fade away.
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  Where you struggle to do any of these things shows you an area where you need
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  to ask God to help you change.
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  This is Paul, suggesting compromise is not doing sex well.