Latest / The Queen Reset with Aja Diack / I Did Not Disappear. I Was Becoming.

Transcript

I Did Not Disappear. I Was Becoming. · The Queen Reset with Aja Diack

• 0:00
  Welcome back to The Queen Reset. I have thought about this moment many times.
• 0:06
  I have wondered what I would say.
• 0:09
  How I would explain where I have been. And how I would begin again.
• 0:15
  The truth is, I did not step away because I stopped caring.
• 0:21
  I did not leave because I no longer believed in this work.
• 0:26
  I stepped away because life was asking something different of me.
• 0:31
  It was asking me to slow down. To listen. To grieve. To heal.
• 0:37
  And to return to myself before I could return to this microphone.
• 0:42
  The woman speaking to you today is not the same woman who stepped away.
• 0:49
  And I say that with gratitude.
• 0:52
  Because sometimes, life changes us in ways we do not understand while we are living through them.
• 0:59
  Sometimes, we think we are losing our direction when we are actually being redirected.
• 1:06
  Sometimes, what feels like a pause is really a season of preparation.
• 1:11
  That is what this time became for me. A season of becoming.
• 1:16
  I experienced loss. I lost my father.
• 1:20
  And grief has a way of changing the way you see everything.
• 1:25
  It changes your relationship with time.
• 1:28
  It changes the way you think about family, purpose, love, and what truly matters.
• 1:34
  Some days, grief is very present. Other days, it sits quietly in the background.
• 1:40
  But it teaches you. It softens you. It reminds you that life is precious.
• 1:47
  And it asks you to live more honestly.
• 1:50
  One of the things my father believed deeply was that living is giving.
• 1:56
  That has stayed with me. It is part of how I see my work.
• 2:03
  It is part of why I care so much about helping women.
• 2:08
  But during my time away, I also learned that giving must come from a place that is nourished.
• 2:16
  You cannot constantly pour out and never return to yourself.
• 2:21
  You cannot encourage everyone else to heal while ignoring what your own heart needs.
• 2:27
  You cannot keep moving simply because people are used to seeing you move.
• 2:33
  Sometimes, you need to be still. Sometimes, you need to be quiet.
• 2:38
  Sometimes, you need to let yourself be held. That is what I needed.
• 2:44
  I needed space to feel what I was feeling.
• 2:48
  I needed space to understand what this new season of my life was asking of me.
• 2:55
  I needed space to reconnect with my faith, my body, my roots, and my own voice.
• 3:03
  And I needed time to remember that I did not have to rush my healing.
• 3:10
  For a long time, I thought about coming back.
• 3:14
  People would ask me: When is the podcast returning?
• 3:18
  Are you going to record again? I miss hearing your voice.
• 3:23
  And every time someone asked, something in me stirred.
• 3:27
  Because I knew the podcast was not finished.
• 3:30
  I knew the work was not finished.
• 3:33
  And I knew my voice still had a place.
• 3:38
  But I also knew I did not want to return simply because people were asking.
• 3:44
  I wanted to return when I could speak from a place of peace.
• 3:50
  Not because every part of my life was perfect.
• 3:54
  But because I felt rooted enough to begin again. And now, I do.
• 4:00
  I feel ready to speak. Ready to share. Ready to have deeper conversations.
• 4:06
  And ready to create a space where women can breathe, reflect, and reconnect with themselves.
• 4:13
  The Queen Reset is returning with more clarity.
• 4:16
  It is still a space for wellness.
• 4:20
  But wellness, to me, has become something much fuller.
• 4:24
  It is not only about what we eat. It is not only about exercise.
• 4:30
  It is not only about weight, routines, or what we look like from the outside.
• 4:37
  Wellness is also about how we feel inside our own lives.
• 4:42
  It is about whether we are listening to our bodies.
• 4:46
  Whether we are honoring our emotions. Whether we are resting.
• 4:51
  Whether we are living in alignment with who we are becoming.
• 4:56
  Whether we still recognize ourselves beneath everything we carry.
• 5:00
  That is where I want this podcast to go.
• 5:04
  We are going to talk about ancestral wellness.
• 5:08
  About the foods, plants, traditions, and practices that have supported our communities for generations.
• 5:14
  We are going to talk about African womanhood. About identity. About belonging. About healing.
• 5:20
  About boundaries. About faith. About the body. About midlife and becoming.
• 5:25
  About the things we sometimes forget when life becomes busy, loud, or disconnected.
• 5:31
  And most of all, we are going to talk about coming home to ourselves.
• 5:37
  Not becoming someone new for the world.
• 5:41
  But remembering who we are beneath the noise.
• 5:44
  This season will be mainly in English.
• 5:47
  That is the language in which I can currently express myself most naturally and emotionally.
• 5:54
  But I want my French-speaking and Wolof-speaking community to know that you are still part of this journey.
• 6:02
  There will be French summaries, selected French episodes, and moments where French and Wolof will have their place.
• 6:10
  This podcast is growing. But it is not leaving anyone behind.
• 6:15
  I have learned something important during my time away.
• 6:20
  Sometimes, we think that if we step back, everything will move on without us.
• 6:26
  We think we have missed our moment. We think we should have returned sooner.
• 6:32
  We think we have to explain every part of where we have been.
• 6:38
  But I no longer believe that.
• 6:41
  I believe there are seasons when silence is necessary.
• 6:45
  There are seasons when your life needs your full attention.
• 6:49
  There are seasons when healing becomes the work.
• 6:53
  And there are seasons when your voice returns. This is that season for me.
• 6:59
  Maybe you are listening and you have been in your own quiet season.
• 7:05
  Maybe you have been taking care of everyone else.
• 7:09
  Maybe you have been moving through grief. Maybe you have been rebuilding something privately.
• 7:16
  Maybe you have felt disconnected from the woman you used to be.
• 7:21
  I want you to know that there is no shame in taking the time you need.
• 7:28
  You do not have to rush your return.
• 7:32
  You do not have to explain everything.
• 7:35
  You do not have to become who you were before.
• 7:40
  Sometimes, the most beautiful thing you can do is allow yourself to become who this season is calling you to be.
• 7:49
  That is what I am doing.
• 7:52
  I am not returning as the woman I was.
• 7:56
  I am returning with more softness. More wisdom. More patience. More faith.
• 8:01
  More respect for the seasons of life.
• 8:04
  And more commitment to use my voice in a way that feels honest and meaningful.
• 8:11
  This is not simply a comeback. It is a return.
• 8:16
  A return to my voice. A return to my calling.
• 8:20
  A return to the work I know I am here to do.
• 8:26
  And a return to the women I am meant to walk beside.
• 8:31
  The next episode is called: Our Grandmothers Were Holistic Healers.
• 8:36
  They Just Called It Living.
• 8:38
  We are going to talk about the wisdom that existed before wellness became an industry.
• 8:45
  The herbs. The food. The prayer. The movement. The community.
• 8:49
  The ways our grandmothers cared for the body, the spirit, and the home.
• 8:55
  But today, I simply wanted to return. To sit with you.
• 9:00
  To thank you for waiting. And to let you know that I am here.
• 9:06
  Thank you for listening. Thank you for remembering me.
• 9:11
  And thank you for welcoming me back. This is The Queen Reset.
• 9:16
  I am Aja Diack. And I did not disappear. I was becoming.
• 9:21
  Welcome back, my queen.