Latest / Sacred She Reset: Awakening Your Radiant Wisdom in Midlife / Trust Your Inner Wisdom: A Conversation with Cheryl Brewster | 006
Transcript
- 0:01You're listening to the Sacred She Reset podcast. If
- 0:04you're a woman in midlife who's done doing this alone and
- 0:08ready for real conversations, real wisdom, and real
- 0:12radiance, you're exactly where you need to be. I'm your
- 0:15host, Sharea Sharna. Your path to radiance starts
- 0:19here.
- 0:25Welcome everyone. I have a beautiful
- 0:28guest with me today. Her name is Cheryl Bruce.
- 0:33And she helps leaders lead powerfully through
- 0:36uncertainty with clarity, calm, and confidence.
- 0:40She blends neuroscience, intuition, and practical strategy
- 0:44to help leaders make decisions that matter most.
- 0:48With over 2 decades of experience leading and developing people
- 0:51across the corporate, entrepreneurial, and nonprofit sectors,
- 0:56Cheryl brings deep insight and a practical, heart-centered
- 0:59approach to leadership. Her signature intuitive leadership
- 1:03system, has helped a variety of leaders regulate stress,
- 1:08trust their inner wisdom, and lead with greater impact
- 1:12in higher stakes moments. Welcome, Cheryl. It is an
- 1:16honor to have you here. Thank you.
- 1:20It's my pleasure. And I'm so excited for the conversation we're going to have today.
- 1:24Yeah, me too. We've just been chatting, haven't we? And it's, I feel like we
- 1:28should have had the record button running already because there was just some beautiful moments.
- 1:32But yeah, I feel like everyone's going to enjoy this episode so
- 1:36much. And I feel very honored that you said yes. So thank you for joining
- 1:40me. This conversation started
- 1:43for me, I just felt this was really aligned with Cheryl because we've,
- 1:48we're on a very similar path at the same time. And
- 1:52Cheryl shared in one of our last calls, it was one of our coaching
- 1:55calls where she shared how she's moving through some really big
- 1:59changes in her life right now. And as you know, this
- 2:03podcast is about moving through the midlife transition
- 2:07and where we might be overriding ourselves. And,
- 2:11uh, I just felt Cheryl's conversation was going to be really
- 2:15important, not only to share the magic that she has for us
- 2:18today and her work in the world, but also for
- 2:22some of the beautiful women out there that are transitioning through difficult times. And so
- 2:26Cheryl, if you had to describe this season of your life right now
- 2:30in one word, what would it be?
- 2:35Well, in one word, this season of my life is
- 2:39transformational.
- 2:43Mm. And moving from one level of
- 2:47consciousness to another and really
- 2:51invoking the word trust.
- 2:55Yeah. And You know, we've all had
- 2:58experiences where we've had great successes in
- 3:02life and also experiences where we're going, I've not
- 3:06done this before. I don't know what to do with this.
- 3:10So that layer and level of just opening up to the deeper power
- 3:14within us and taking time to pause
- 3:17and to check in with it and knowing that
- 3:21that is not only the most sacred thing we can do, the
- 3:25most important thing we can do.
- 3:29Yeah. And so much of my life, in
- 3:33retrospect, for most of us, I think, is
- 3:37where have we abandoned ourselves to take care of
- 3:42others or to take care of creating a living?
- 3:46And so at this time in history,
- 3:50in this critical place in the history
- 3:54of humanity, I just feel there's a deeper calling
- 3:57for all of us to say, what's my part? What
- 4:01can I do? And to really disregard any
- 4:05sense of being a victim or any
- 4:08sense of being a pawn in someone else's matrix.
- 4:12No, I create the reality from my thoughts, my
- 4:16perceptions, my viewpoint. So is it the reality I really want to
- 4:20create? Yeah, 100%. And I
- 4:24feel like that's so fitting to the message I'm sharing with my audience.
- 4:28It's so, so aligned straight away. And so
- 4:32these, this feeling of trust and transformation
- 4:36that's really present for you right now, because I know that you've been moving through
- 4:40without getting personal and sharing too much. It's like,
- 4:43I know I'm aware that you've been moving through some things.
- 4:48And you said something, you said something to me or
- 4:52to us on that call, and it was around being able to move through this
- 4:55no matter what's happening. And I don't have the exact words.
- 4:59And so I'm just wondering where that comes from with you, within you,
- 5:03and what, what that's teaching you in this season of your life.
- 5:07Like, how is that? How are you working with that energy?
- 5:12I'm very, very grateful. for intuition.
- 5:16Intuition is something that has literally
- 5:20called me out of different circumstances in my life and put me on a whole
- 5:24new timeline, a whole new trajectory. Yeah. What I noticed in
- 5:28my life was that every time I was in the midst of a breakthrough, something
- 5:32catastrophic would happen around me. And
- 5:36so I, over many years, this
- 5:40pattern started to reveal itself. I'm going, oh,
- 5:44Isn't that interesting where this time
- 5:47I'm able to hold my center? This time
- 5:52I'm able to not go into fear.
- 5:56I've got a family member who's really
- 6:00struggling right now with some health issues that are,
- 6:06within months, they may not be here.
- 6:11So it's really compelled me at an
- 6:15even deeper level, you know, what is the meaning of my
- 6:19life? Am I truly showing up for those that I love? Am I
- 6:22truly showing up for myself in the
- 6:26way that I
- 6:30can have peace with?
- 6:34Yeah. And you know, the beautiful part is that through
- 6:37many years of application, many years of study, many years of practice
- 6:41to be able to come out the other side. And there's been more than one
- 6:44event. There's been several where, you know, people's lives are at
- 6:48stake, where I'm able to
- 6:51be in the energy and
- 6:55faith of trust, bigger picture,
- 7:00this creative intelligence that has
- 7:04brought us into this world. There's a
- 7:08bigger picture for all of us and we can trust it and we don't have
- 7:11to go into the heartbreak and the sorrow
- 7:15and the suffering that we have in the past.
- 7:21Yeah, I totally agree with you because I also have this,
- 7:24just this, the trust is there and I trust that
- 7:29guidance that's coming through from our creator, from the divine.
- 7:33And You know, I've been sitting with the question
- 7:36lately and even in a few of my own interviews that I've had where I've
- 7:39been interviewed about my recent book and talking about
- 7:43grief and trust. And it's like, well, how do we cultivate that? Like
- 7:47where, so where for you, Cheryl, was that point,
- 7:51that crossing over point of like where you perhaps
- 7:55were allowing the
- 7:58surrounding chaos and everything that was happening in life to
- 8:02affect you? So there's like you having this reaction to that.
- 8:07Opposed to that now where you find yourself where you're in
- 8:10complete trust and you're in this season of your life of
- 8:14transformation, you know, because a lot of people will be going, well, how do I
- 8:17get there? You know, it's, and we'll talk about some practical value in
- 8:21a little while, but more from your own story, like where,
- 8:25give us a little bit of backstory, Cheryl, of how you cultivated
- 8:29this and how this has become for you. Sure, absolutely.
- 8:33You know, I think the defining moment for me
- 8:36was what I learned from studying neuroscience,
- 8:41which is self-regulation, emotional intelligence. And it's
- 8:45been around for a long time. Yeah. A breakthrough moment for
- 8:48me was really understanding biology,
- 8:52understanding that I have a primal brain that totally discounts the
- 8:55positive. And its only
- 8:59job is to keep me safe, and it will do so at all costs.
- 9:04So, you know, I remember as a young mother with
- 9:08my kids, it's like, you know, losing my
- 9:11patience and then regretting it. And I
- 9:14often wondered like, what's wrong with me? But, you know, I have faith, I have
- 9:18trust, and yet why can't I seem to just hold it together? Why am
- 9:22I always going into stress? So discovering the
- 9:26biological physiological implications of the nervous system
- 9:30was just life-changing because
- 9:35it was like, oh, that's why I do what I
- 9:38do. So learning how to self-regulate, learning how to use the breath,
- 9:42learning how to take a moment and pause
- 9:47restored this ability to choose.
- 9:51Rather than be a victim of my biology,
- 9:55rather than be run by raw emotion. So that
- 9:59was life-changing. And it took, you know, it took time.
- 10:03However, the more I studied it and the more I trained in it, the more
- 10:06I began to realize that, wow, you know what? When we
- 10:09work with the unconscious mind, these changes
- 10:13can happen very, very quickly. And the beauty is
- 10:17they're permanent. So
- 10:21my defining moment, which takes me, you know, into
- 10:25being able to honestly say,
- 10:28even though there are, you know, 3 separate different crises, what I would
- 10:32call crisis in my life right now,
- 10:36I am so grateful to be so grounded
- 10:40and to be in alignment
- 10:44with the higher power within me.
- 10:48Whose perspective is very different than my human biology.
- 10:52Yeah. It's kind of, and it sounds crazy,
- 10:56right? I know, and it's surreal. And
- 11:00in those moments when I find myself slipping, it's like, wait a minute,
- 11:04this is the practice. And in the past, I used to judge
- 11:08myself and I used to go, you know, say to myself,
- 11:12well, what's wrong with you? Like, why this is still here? And it's like, well,
- 11:16so it's like a, a total, I wanna
- 11:20say, viewpoint
- 11:24perspective. And it does take
- 11:28practice and repetition. So what I love what you're
- 11:31up to, and we're on similar paths here, is
- 11:36to be so in alignment with your personal conviction
- 11:41that no matter what happens in life, you
- 11:44know you're exactly where you need to be. And that
- 11:48is priceless. Yeah. And this sort of
- 11:52feeds into what we were chatting about before we started recording about this
- 11:55conviction piece, right? It's like, you know,
- 11:59to have that unwavering, I love that unwavering trust.
- 12:04And I know I've been questioned many times in the past. I've got a lot
- 12:07of girlfriends going, wow, I feel really inspired about what you're doing
- 12:11because you have this capacity to just drive it. And I feel like a
- 12:14lot of that for me actually
- 12:17came from doing life the
- 12:21hard way. Yes. As you know as
- 12:25well, like you've experienced this of like judging
- 12:28yourself and going through that, like that process of like,
- 12:32you know, oh, I could have been a better person here and da da da.
- 12:35And, you know, I think that just
- 12:39sheer forcing and willing and I
- 12:43say pushing shit uphill through a lot of my
- 12:47life has actually helped
- 12:50me, supported me in being the person I am today. Because if I
- 12:54hadn't have gone through all that stuff, because I don't have any regrets about all
- 12:58the trauma, everything, there's a lot of stuff there, but it has
- 13:02actually helped me to
- 13:05build this resilience. Now
- 13:09it's not a resilience where I'm overriding myself, but it's a resilience
- 13:13of trust and certainty and conviction and a certainty
- 13:17that I know myself. I love myself. I trust myself
- 13:21enough to know that I've got me because at the end of the day,
- 13:25take everything else away. We're really,
- 13:29I say on our own. I know collectively we're all together, but it's just that
- 13:33our journey with the creator and our
- 13:36personal relationship that we have. And it's
- 13:40cultivating that. And so I know so many, I would say
- 13:43people, but I work with women. And so women really
- 13:47struggle with this questioning of themselves, but we have this
- 13:51innate wisdom within us, this divine compass
- 13:54that is there. And tuning into that is the
- 13:58frequency, tuning into that is the practice.
- 14:02And then we often steer from that and
- 14:06start overriding and caregiving too much. And then we
- 14:09can go into the opposite side of things where we start having resent and all
- 14:13these sorts of things. So this, I feel like it's a really,
- 14:17it feels like we're walking a tightrope sometimes, right?
- 14:21You know, so it's like how in your life and in your work
- 14:25and what you've seen with the leaders you work with and even with
- 14:29yourself, because obviously it's that journey of the self to get to where we are
- 14:32now, now to be working with others. Yeah. people the way we do.
- 14:36You know, what have been those really slippery moments where you've
- 14:40just, it's kind of been on that edge of making that decision
- 14:44of it's this side or this side sort of thing.
- 14:48And I hope that makes sense. I just, there's just so much in that. It's
- 14:51really juicy. So take that wherever you want to take that.
- 14:56Yes. When you, when you've walked these paths, it
- 14:59makes sense. There's juice there. So if we can kind of bring, ground that in
- 15:03and ground that down for,
- 15:07you know, some of the ladies out there, you know, how can we,
- 15:11how can we ground this in for them so that we're speaking the language
- 15:15of where they might be right now? They might be just on that threshold of
- 15:18where you and I and many women have been. And so
- 15:22how, how do we support ourselves? How do we,
- 15:26how do we not repeat it, repeat those patterns?
- 15:30Exactly. Exactly. So what I have
- 15:34found to be very, very helpful for me is to
- 15:39think of life like a movie and to
- 15:43take a step back and watch myself.
- 15:48And there's something called the tension of opposites.
- 15:53Yeah. And so, as I was thinking about this and I put my
- 15:57program together and my system of, oh, oh,
- 16:01it's It's like, if life is
- 16:05a movie, it's like a, you know how we have nighttime dreams?
- 16:09Well, if we look at our waking life as
- 16:15like a dream, only it's real. Yeah.
- 16:18We're not, you know, and yet we are creating this
- 16:22reality based on our perception. Our perception may be
- 16:26clear or it may be somewhat confused.
- 16:30If we go back to biology and physiology,
- 16:33our primal brain has one agenda, just to keep
- 16:37us safe. That's it. So using the analogy of a
- 16:40movie, I began to realize, oh, is my
- 16:44life a Gong Show, a horror show, or the epic
- 16:47adventure of my life? Because— What a great question.
- 16:53That's a good one to reflect upon out there, listeners. Great. Are
- 16:57you living a horror movie or what? No, thank you.
- 17:01It reminds me when I was giving birth to my
- 17:05first son. I was in such agony. I had back labor and I
- 17:08bent over. My knees are on a stool. I'm bent over on the bed.
- 17:12I'm pulling my hair out. And no kidding, I had the experiences
- 17:17of this, like, oh my, I'm stuck in a
- 17:20B-movie and I can't get out because of the amount
- 17:24of pain I screamed out. Oh
- 17:27my gosh. It was a terrible feeling. I can't get
- 17:31out of this, right? Like, I'm like, so anyway. You're in it.
- 17:35Yeah. So, so I have found that to be so powerful
- 17:39because, you know, when we're, when we're emotionally triggered,
- 17:42it's like, whoa, you know, and, and then to be able to
- 17:46use the breath as a pattern interrupt, come back and go, wait a minute,
- 17:50take a step back. And so, You know, I've
- 17:54created this intuitive leadership quiz where we're looking
- 17:57at movie as metaphor and, you know, what is
- 18:01your leading archetype right now? So is it the
- 18:05stressed out actor on the stage or
- 18:09is it the one who's really owning presence? So, you know, these different
- 18:13archetypes will come into play where we have these,
- 18:16you know, like cut. Act 1, scene 2.
- 18:21Um, I love this because it sounds— this, this to me, and this
- 18:24really feeds into what I bring a lot of as well, is around play.
- 18:28Yeah. Connecting with joy. And so as soon as you said, are you being
- 18:32like an actor on the stage or are you, you know, you're cool, calm, and
- 18:35collected. It's, it's a wonderful opportunity for us to really step
- 18:39outside of ourselves and just, and watch, you
- 18:42know, watch the thoughts, what's going on here. You know, I kind of have
- 18:46this thing of where. I'm taking, it's a little bit like your
- 18:50movie, uh, you know, watching the movie of our life
- 18:53where I take myself out of myself and kind of take a wider
- 18:57view and look in and, and go, okay, how am I behaving
- 19:01here? What is happening in this moment? Am I responding
- 19:05or am I reacting? You know, so this, this is wonderful.
- 19:09It sounds super playful. Tell me more about this, this, what,
- 19:13what you're doing with these archetypes. This sounds really interesting. Yeah. Well,
- 19:16I love them. You know, I've studied Carl Jung and the
- 19:20psychology of spiritual awakening. And
- 19:24I just love this reminder
- 19:28that we are, we not only have our personal
- 19:31consciousness, but we are part of a collective consciousness.
- 19:36And these archetypal energies are very real. And we're in the middle,
- 19:40if we're really close to a breakthrough, That's when
- 19:44it's, we're in a very vulnerable state, a
- 19:47powerful state, yet a vulnerable one, because that's
- 19:51when archetypal energies can become really activated.
- 19:55And when that happens, the key difference is
- 19:59to be aware of the archetypal energies rather than become
- 20:03them. So to use an example,
- 20:08You know, with everything I've gone through in my life,
- 20:12one of the
- 20:16leading archetypes, again, I wanna come back to the
- 20:19actor, is because when people are on your
- 20:23stage, we can look at them as
- 20:28being, oh, there they go again, they're triggering me. Well, they wouldn't be
- 20:31triggering you if you didn't already have something inside you to be triggered.
- 20:35Yeah, right. So then it's very
- 20:39humbling when you go, ooh. And so
- 20:43this is where I think 2 things really, really help when we're in the
- 20:47middle of really difficult transformation, uh,
- 20:51because I don't think we need to
- 20:54make it as difficult and painful as we do. That's been
- 20:58my big lesson. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think there's
- 21:02just, there's a real opportunity for us to you know,
- 21:05look at like, let's go for say the triggering when you're triggered and
- 21:09it can be so easy to say, oh, that person is triggering me or
- 21:13I'm activated by this over there or whatever. But in
- 21:17actual fact, that is an opportunity to, it is a total
- 21:21opportunity to go inward, to go, oh, this
- 21:24is actually, thank you. Actually, thank you so much.
- 21:28Because this is an opportunity to, for me to see where there's more
- 21:32work to do and That's going to be prickly as
- 21:36hell. Sometimes it's really uncomfortable,
- 21:39but it's in those uncomfortable moments where we grow the most.
- 21:44And sometimes it's hard to really look at ourselves in the mirror, right, Cheryl? And
- 21:47just take stock and really look at
- 21:51that for what it is. And often it can be a partner who's
- 21:55someone very close to us. I know, you know, sort of bringing it
- 21:59back to women traveling through midlife and the
- 22:03journey they're navigating through with all the changes, there's so
- 22:06much going on, and that we can be quite triggered from
- 22:10children, from loved ones, from partners, from friendship groups.
- 22:15And, you know, and so finding,
- 22:19you know, how we can support ourselves and connecting with how we can
- 22:22support ourselves in that and knowing that there's
- 22:26always room for growth. There's always room
- 22:30for more. And, you know, I guess that
- 22:34brings me to the point of having conversations
- 22:38with people around us that can be a little bit uncomfortable. You know,
- 22:42when you're triggered and you've got this happening in your life, Cheryl, you know, what
- 22:46is some of the things you think people, what women can do in those
- 22:50situations, especially navigating really big change? Because we, we both
- 22:53know how time-consuming that is and how energetically draining
- 22:57that can be as well. What are some of the things people can do practically
- 23:01to help support themselves? themselves during this
- 23:04time? You know, what are some of the practical
- 23:08tools and suggestions you might have that might be
- 23:12about the archetypes or might movie in the mind type
- 23:16thing? You know, what advice have you got there?
- 23:19Yeah, that's such a good question. And
- 23:24if I had my life to live all over again, this is the
- 23:28advice I would give myself, which is what my
- 23:31archetype system is about. Looking at your
- 23:35life as a movie is a really, really powerful tool because
- 23:39it creates some distance from the emotion that's taking you over.
- 23:44So when we observe something, we've
- 23:47removed the energetic attachment.
- 23:51Hmm. And we calm down the nervous system.
- 23:55And so even just You know, taking a step back, look at your life
- 23:59as a movie, just take a deep breath. The breath
- 24:03is powerful because as soon as we begin to breathe
- 24:07more consciously with more awareness, we're triggering our
- 24:11nervous system that it's okay. We're okay.
- 24:15When that happens, now anything is possible.
- 24:19The part that felt disconnected and in panic can
- 24:23come back home. It can come back to center. It can feel safe. And
- 24:27when we feel safe, then
- 24:31whatever was causing the problem, now we have access to solutions
- 24:35that we couldn't see before. So my
- 24:38greatest piece of advice really is, okay, if this was a movie,
- 24:42watch it. You can pretty much predict what's going to
- 24:46happen if you stay where you are. Mm-hmm. And then
- 24:51learn self-regulation, learn those self-regulation tools
- 24:54because they will literally save your bacon. They'll save your life, truly.
- 25:00And one of the fast-track ways of doing that I have found in my experience
- 25:05is to bring myself back to gratitude for what I do
- 25:09have. Mm-hmm. Because the primal brain is
- 25:12consumed with what it doesn't have.
- 25:16And that will lead to
- 25:19paralysis, it'll lead to numbness, or it'll lead
- 25:23to overreaction. So for me, it was
- 25:27life-changing looking at my life as a movie. And even before I
- 25:31knew and understood all the neuroscience, even when I was younger,
- 25:35I had that ability within me naturally. Going into
- 25:39a job interview, I'd pretend I already had the job. And I mean,
- 25:43It works. So it does work. It
- 25:47works. And it's like, oh, well, if it works and I know it
- 25:50works. So here's another really key piece
- 25:54is gratitude helps you appreciate what you've already
- 25:58accomplished. So with gratitude, you're coming
- 26:02from strength, not trying to get to it. You're
- 26:05coming from a prosperity consciousness, rather than
- 26:09trying to get to it. And one of the things I've certainly learned and
- 26:13discovered the hard way is the more you really want something, the more pressure
- 26:17you can put on yourself and the more you're actually pushing it away rather than
- 26:20bringing it in. Absolutely. And I feel like you can
- 26:24end up falling into the category of
- 26:28procrastination. Yes. I find
- 26:32whenever I've been in that spot in the past, it's the energy levels drop, you
- 26:36start to feel tired, you start to get distracted.
- 26:40And so I feel like they're sort of the body speaking and they're
- 26:43markers and signals and signs to
- 26:47say something needs to shift and perhaps I'm not in
- 26:50alignment right now. Would you say, would you agree with that, Cheryl?
- 26:54Absolutely. And in the past, for
- 26:58example, I'm working with one client right now. In the
- 27:01past, he would have disregarded that. And now I'm saying, no, no, no, pay
- 27:05attention. And so now when he pays attention, he goes, Oh
- 27:09my, I'm seeing things I never saw before. And I said, that's
- 27:13right, because you were honoring your body's
- 27:16wisdom. And we intellectualize
- 27:20so much these days. So it's just something as simple as saying,
- 27:24you know, where in my body is this energy being held?
- 27:29Gets us out of the ruminating mind and gets us into
- 27:34the activation so that this energy can move through, which frees us from the
- 27:37procrastination. and the
- 27:40self-sabotage and all those things,
- 27:44which in a way is really useful
- 27:48biofeedback. And that was the other big thing that I just so
- 27:52love. I have to say this out loud. What if procrastination and
- 27:55self-sabotage, rather than judging them,
- 27:59what if we looked at them as biofeedback tools?
- 28:02100%. Letting us know that somewhere, oh,
- 28:08I agree with you so much here, Cheryl. Like, we're speaking the same language
- 28:12and I'm, I'm loving this because it, it speaks so
- 28:17to the audience that's listening, to the women who are
- 28:21really in, in that space of perhaps not listening
- 28:24to the, the body's wisdom enough. Yes. And, or
- 28:29have been overriding it. I know that's been a big thing
- 28:32for me, not me personally, but the What I've been speaking a lot about
- 28:36lately is the override and we override those
- 28:39messages. But that all of that, the procrastination,
- 28:43all of the things where we go, oh, we're out of alignment, it's a time
- 28:46to listen. And it's, it's a big call
- 28:50to come within and to change
- 28:54things and start to shift things. And like you were saying, Cheryl, come back to
- 28:58the breath. It's a really basic thing that we can all do. It's something
- 29:02that we do. on autopilot, otherwise we wouldn't be here
- 29:05today, you know, but to actually become a little bit
- 29:09more conscious about how we're breathing and slowing that
- 29:13down and coming back into rhythm and
- 29:16balance. Is there any other, any other
- 29:20tips or practical tools that you
- 29:24can, you can offer our listeners today, Cheryl, where
- 29:28it feeds into what you're offering and what you're sharing in the world
- 29:32and perhaps this piece around where we
- 29:35might be experiencing the procrastination and overriding the
- 29:39system. Again, I would bring it
- 29:43back to what
- 29:46lens am I looking through? Again, am I looking through the lens of
- 29:51judgment or am I looking through the lens of
- 29:57Yeah. One of the things about an open and closed mindset,
- 30:00which will make or break us, is a closed
- 30:04mindset is very concerned about
- 30:07image, very concerned about
- 30:13not wanting to appear vulnerable or
- 30:17not wanting to appear as if not knowing something. Whereas a
- 30:21mindset would rather learn and grow. And
- 30:25it's interesting, you know, when you study again the neuroscience
- 30:29and some of the most successful companies in the world, I forget
- 30:33which company this is, but it only hires people who have had
- 30:36massive failures in business. Yeah, I love it.
- 30:40Because they know that they've learned something and they're still willing to try. Yeah,
- 30:44absolutely. Versus someone who, you know, has this track of,
- 30:48you know, super successful. And
- 30:53I just love this story that that opened up for me
- 30:56because I thought, wow, there's so much
- 31:00anxiety performance, I think, on all of us. I think we grew up
- 31:04with it. And so there's a fear of being wrong. There's a fear of making
- 31:08a mistake. There's a fear of not knowing enough. And
- 31:12so there's this stigma of perfection
- 31:16that we all are consumed by or
- 31:20surrounded by. And look at the
- 31:23commercialism and the consumption. You know,
- 31:26we're surrounded by needing to
- 31:30be better than we are. Well, what if we're already good enough?
- 31:34Yeah. And what if we haven't appreciated that? And this is why
- 31:38gratitude's so important, because the very thing we want
- 31:41will push away if we're not coming from a gratitude for what we already
- 31:45have. Mm. And that right there
- 31:49is so powerful, what you just said around gratitude.
- 31:53And I feel that we,
- 31:58like you say about the commercialism and everything and what's happening where
- 32:01we're just comparing ourselves to others on
- 32:05platforms where that's not people's real life. Like that's not what's actually
- 32:09going on for people. That's not what they're really like at home.
- 32:13And, and so we're. striving to be
- 32:16something that is actually really unrealistic and it's not obtainable.
- 32:20It's not sustainable in any way, shape, or form.
- 32:25And so it's like, what if you're already good enough?
- 32:29You know, what, what you, what if God has made you exactly
- 32:33the way you need to be right here, right now with everything you've been through,
- 32:37where you are, everything you're about to experience and accepting that.
- 32:40And I think there's this piece around brings it back to the
- 32:44trust. And how we step into transformation and trust
- 32:48is huge. But when we almost
- 32:52become, I'm going to use the word surrender, but it's more than that.
- 32:55There's this, it's, the word is humble.
- 32:59When we, we, we just, we
- 33:03soften and we open and we become humble
- 33:07to what is. Yes. And, and then
- 33:10really appreciate You know, oh my God,
- 33:14we have everything we need. I mean, I've, I feel
- 33:19like a queen. Do you know what I mean? And I've got a roof over
- 33:22my head. I've got food on my table. I've got clean water.
- 33:27I get to have a shower every day. And I mean, like, they're just basic
- 33:31survival things, but why are we not just
- 33:34bringing it back to basics and, you know, and
- 33:38feeling gratitude for All, all that and just
- 33:42the beauty of just eliminating all the other things,
- 33:46all the things we own and just going, why am I just not grateful that
- 33:49I've actually got food on my belly? There's people out there who won't
- 33:53get a meal tonight. They're not eating, you know,
- 33:57and, you know, we, we then kind of go,
- 34:00oh, but I don't have this widget or this, or I don't look good enough
- 34:04or. Mm-hmm. Yeah, just embracing
- 34:08ourselves for who we are and
- 34:13giving gratitude, like you say, Cheryl, it's so important.
- 34:17So, so important. If we don't, uh,
- 34:22start changing our ways, the
- 34:26voraciousness of this, uh,
- 34:33this infection of the mind will continue. And
- 34:37so this is where personal responsibility to live
- 34:41our joy. Nietzsche said, you have a noble duty to live
- 34:45your joy. And I love that. Absolutely.
- 34:48Because it's like we begin to realize, and
- 34:52again, let's look at life as a movie. As you observe your
- 34:56life right now and And when you bring
- 34:59gratitude for what you already have,
- 35:03there's a pressure release that takes place.
- 35:09And now you're taking, you're taking dictation
- 35:12from flourishing rather than
- 35:17separation or suffering. Mm-hmm. So
- 35:22my perspective is this, is that we're each creating our own reality.
- 35:27We think the world is out there, but it really isn't. The
- 35:30world is created from our thoughts, our
- 35:34perceptions, our actions, our feelings, our behaviors.
- 35:38So if that's the case, then,
- 35:41you know, heaven and hell are not places, they're states of mind.
- 35:46Mm-hmm. And I love what Helen Keller said. She said, I'm only one person, I
- 35:50can't do everything, But I will not refuse to do the one thing I can
- 35:54do. That is so beautiful. What a beautiful
- 35:57quote. Can you, can you say that again? Because I just want, I want the
- 36:01listeners to actually feel the energy of that. And if you're just
- 36:05listening, I just, I want to just say, like, sitting here with
- 36:08Cheryl, if you'll, you know, see her on video, if you do watch
- 36:12this visually, she's just like, she's just like an angel, a glowing
- 36:16angel, and she's just beautiful and she delivers her message so beautifully.
- 36:19So I don't want to lose the thread. So can you say that
- 36:23quote again for me, Cheryl? It was beautiful. Sure. And I'll
- 36:27take that. I will take that. She's a beautiful
- 36:30human, everybody. And I just, it's like there's
- 36:34so much yumminess happening here and there's so many different threads we could go down.
- 36:37So I just want to keep this container going.
- 36:43So, uh, I'll repeat the quote again and
- 36:46before I I'm just going to invite everybody.
- 36:50I remember sitting at my desk in the corporate world
- 36:54consumed by fear. And I
- 36:58remember saying to myself, one day I hope I can be
- 37:01free of this. And
- 37:05I am. And I didn't think I could ever be
- 37:09free of it. What I've come to recognize
- 37:13is that even fear has a place in
- 37:17transformation. And when we
- 37:21drop the judgment of anything,
- 37:27there's safe passage for everything to move through.
- 37:33And, you know, and it is, I feel the emotion of that even as I
- 37:37say it. So,
- 37:41In the words of Helen Keller, I'm only one person and I can't do
- 37:44everything, but I will not refuse to do the
- 37:48one thing that I can do.
- 37:54Just feel the energy of that. And so
- 37:58hand on heart. Yeah. Just breathing into
- 38:02that moment because we are all here. We've all got such
- 38:06a beautiful, special gift that we're here to bring.
- 38:10uniquely. And when we get out of our own way and we
- 38:15do the work, and as I like to say, hug the cactus.
- 38:21Hug the cactus. Yeah, it's a great one. I love it.
- 38:25My partner, I always say, are we going to hug the cactus, have a conversation,
- 38:29talk about the prickly bits? We have to, it's, there is
- 38:33still fear and there's still hugging the cactus, there's still prickliness.
- 38:37But it is so worth the journey and it is so
- 38:42worth taking the time to work on ourselves
- 38:46and overcoming and becoming that
- 38:50version of ourselves of, as you said in the quote,
- 38:54of doing that one thing. I'm doing that one thing that I'm here to do.
- 38:59And we all have that. And so we don't
- 39:03need to be taking someone else's IP
- 39:07or, you know, it's taking that time with
- 39:10ourselves, taking that time out to reflect and to
- 39:14breathe and to be with ourselves and to actually
- 39:17really discover who we are and what's going on within our
- 39:21landscape. And what movie are we playing,
- 39:26you know, and questioning that, you know, what is the
- 39:30movie we're playing and how can you shift that You, and like
- 39:34Cheryl's been saying, and I'm a true believer of this as well, it
- 39:37first has to be in thought before it can manifest
- 39:41in our, what we say, reality. And so what
- 39:45is, what am I thinking? What am I, what movie am I playing?
- 39:49And it's, we can all change that. Everybody has the ability
- 39:53to change that. Which is, which is why, you know, in the,
- 39:57uh, comparison of a movie, that's where the
- 40:01screenwriter comes in. And it's like, okay, let's
- 40:05write a different scene here. And now, and
- 40:09so we have all these different archetypal energies. You know, we've
- 40:13got the actor, the producer, the director, the audience, the screenwriter. And it's
- 40:16like, we have all of them and
- 40:20we'll lead predominantly from one or a combination.
- 40:24Yeah. And each will have their strength and each will have their shadow.
- 40:28And it's in the courage. And here's
- 40:32another key piece. If there were 3 words I think that
- 40:37are transformational in supporting
- 40:40positive change, the first would be
- 40:43courage. Mm-hmm. The second would be gratitude.
- 40:47And the third would be conviction. Yeah.
- 40:52And we put all these 3 together and we braid them together. That's a
- 40:55solid anchor that is actually indestructible.
- 40:59So in the movie of your life, again, it's
- 41:03like, well, if everything in life happens for
- 41:07me and not to me,
- 41:11what choice will I make next?
- 41:15What's that next Very simple step for me. And
- 41:19sometimes it's so simple we miss it.
- 41:23Absolutely. You know, simplicity is truth.
- 41:27Complexity quite often is
- 41:31ego masquerading as
- 41:34intelligence. Absolutely. And
- 41:38I think what you've just said right there is a really
- 41:41wonderful wonderful piece
- 41:45of not needing to overcomplicate those next steps.
- 41:51And when we bring it into the subtlety of just
- 41:55fine-tuning and simplifying, and that
- 41:58next step could possibly be
- 42:02making a cup of tea and sitting with a journal or whatever it is,
- 42:06you know, or phoning a friend and having a conversation. It doesn't have to
- 42:10be complicated, but
- 42:13just in that awareness of, of
- 42:17noticing where you are, first of all, and then
- 42:22acknowledging and saying, I, I can make this
- 42:26change. I have the courage to make this change. And I
- 42:29trust in the process.
- 42:33And Mm-hmm. Putting one step in front of the other with the
- 42:37conviction and intention, because when we send those mixed
- 42:40signals of stepping back and going, oh, I know I've done that many
- 42:44times in my life. I step in with the ambition and I'm, it's
- 42:48very different now for me. I must say, listeners, it's a very different game,
- 42:51ballgame. But just the conviction piece is so important
- 42:55because we're, we're sending the signal to the universe
- 42:59that. We're showing up.
- 43:03And so then, like Cheryl said, it's, we're braiding these all together.
- 43:07You take courage, it's a, you take the step, you
- 43:11trust in the process, you take the step forward,
- 43:15you're braiding all those together, and then you've got this solid anchor.
- 43:19And I think that is just wonderful advice. And it sounds
- 43:22so simple, but it's not always that
- 43:26easy, as we know. And you can repeat this process, like we can be repeating
- 43:30this process. And I know also just bringing
- 43:33this back to, in my recent book I just released, it's, I
- 43:37talk a lot about this as well. So that's why I say we're
- 43:41totally on the same page. It's such a beautiful conversation right now.
- 43:47And I just also appreciate that you put this into a book. And I,
- 43:50you know, I know what it takes to take something out of the
- 43:54ethers and put it into physical form. That in itself,
- 43:59is not only a birthing process, but a
- 44:02demonstration of transformation. It's a
- 44:06demonstration of abundance
- 44:09because you've taken something out of nothing. And I
- 44:13haven't read your book yet. I'm going to order it after we're done
- 44:17this call because based on this conversation,
- 44:21what you're working with is
- 44:26It's like this breath of fresh air
- 44:30where we're living in a time of
- 44:33humanity's history that is so critical.
- 44:38Absolutely. And I so appreciate you for what you're doing
- 44:42and what you're up to here. Yeah, and right back at you
- 44:46as well. Like, this is, I feel like there's just this
- 44:50mirror reflection thing happening between us today. It's really beautiful.
- 44:55Just, I'm so, so grateful. I
- 44:59want to speak a little bit into when we don't be afraid of
- 45:02exposure is the message I want to share as well, because
- 45:06like you, Cheryl, the work you're putting into the world, we, we
- 45:10have to show up really vulnerably and share pieces of ourselves.
- 45:15And it's okay that things aren't perfect. They don't have to be
- 45:18perfect. And because I know from
- 45:21self-publishing a book, it's a lot of work, but I go through it and go,
- 45:25oh yeah, there's improved needed here. There's probably a few little mistakes, but allowing
- 45:28that to be seen and allowing yourself to be a little bit exposed
- 45:32and be in that vulnerability, um, is really
- 45:36important for your growth as well. Because you, yeah,
- 45:40you have that sense of gratitude and you, you become humble in that
- 45:44and go, oh, and you're just allow, allow
- 45:47it to all just be as it needs to be and let it go.
- 45:53Well said, well spoken. I think if anything, our only
- 45:57job is to just let go, really.
- 46:01Um, you know, there's a beautiful prayer that I
- 46:04will often say to myself. Dear
- 46:08God, help me accept the truth about
- 46:11myself no matter how wonderful it is.
- 46:15Oh, I love that prayer. I've got that actually written
- 46:19down somewhere. And I'll share, I'm going to share that prayer
- 46:23actually in the notes, the show notes, because that is such a
- 46:27beautiful prayer. So simple and so
- 46:31true. You know, instead of going, oh, you know, the truth about myself, no matter
- 46:34how bad it is, like you just turn it into this, how
- 46:38wonderful it is. So you're constantly opening up to
- 46:42opportunity and possibility instead of,
- 46:46you know, it's that natural default we have as human beings there.
- 46:50Yeah. You know, the Velcro and the Teflon example where we,
- 46:54you know, we naturally have a negative bias, you know,
- 46:58towards the negative. And it does, it's a, it
- 47:02takes work to turn that ship around and it's an
- 47:05everyday thing. So yeah, listeners, you
- 47:09need to start saying this prayer to yourself every day because it's a beautiful
- 47:13prayer. It's beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful.
- 47:17And so, Cheryl, this is, I think this is a
- 47:21lovely note to, joyous note to start to wrap up on.
- 47:25But I have, I do have a question for you.
- 47:28And that is, if the
- 47:32wisest, most radiant part of you could speak to the woman
- 47:36you are becoming now, what would she want you to know?
- 47:41I love that question. I
- 47:45think she'd want me to know that having fun
- 47:51is the elixir of life.
- 47:56Oh, yes. I love that. And that a
- 48:00sense of humor will take us out of the
- 48:03seriousness of ourselves and
- 48:06self-compassion.
- 48:11will free us from
- 48:15deceptive thinking.
- 48:20Mm. That's like mic drop right there.
- 48:25That's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
- 48:29And I must say that you are looking absolutely radiant.
- 48:33Well, I look forward to watching this after because I'm just so in the
- 48:37zone here of So think
- 48:41of it this way. It's like, it's
- 48:44like, um, you know, long, long time
- 48:48ago in a galaxy far, far
- 48:51away. And the two of us
- 48:55meet and, and, and the
- 48:58connection's like this. And all of a sudden we're on a podcast together and it's
- 49:02like, whoa.
- 49:08And it's so great to be able to come together like this and let, let
- 49:12it just roll with whatever it is and,
- 49:15and have these conversations and laugh and cry and get it, get intimate and
- 49:19deep. And, and that's what this is all about. It really
- 49:23is. It's what this is all about. It's just beautiful.
- 49:27And so before we finish, Cheryl,
- 49:31Where is the best place for listeners to find you and explore more of
- 49:35your work? Tell us a little bit more about that. Absolutely.
- 49:39Well, I would love to hear anyone who listened to this podcast
- 49:44from you. You can find me at theintuitivelife.com
- 49:48and I have a
- 49:51quiz for everyone who's listening to— Sounds
- 49:55exciting. Yeah, it's called
- 49:57intuitiveleadershipquiz.com and that's when you can find out
- 50:00more about the archetype
- 50:04that's currently in charge of your life and how you can better—
- 50:09I think we all need to take this quiz, by the way, ladies. I
- 50:13think there's a lot of value here.
- 50:16And, you know, I think that that sense of play in what you
- 50:20bring as well with the archetypes is wonderful. There's an
- 50:23invitation there for some more play. And so I will
- 50:27put all of this in the show notes and all of this wonderful juiciness
- 50:31that we've shared today. But Cheryl, thank you. I've loved
- 50:35this conversation and it really has
- 50:38anchored in and reminded me of
- 50:42the work you're doing, but what we're doing together, as in
- 50:46my work as well, and how important and it's
- 50:50needed in the world. And so I can't
- 50:54thank you enough. This conversation has been awesome.
- 50:58It's just been heart-centered and I
- 51:02have so much gratitude for you showing up with me here
- 51:05today and sharing this message.
- 51:10Thank you. I think you've created a joy magnet in your podcast here
- 51:14today. It's a joy magnet.
- 51:19Yay. Oh, you're an amazing human. And so
- 51:23I think in closing, let's sort of something for the listeners
- 51:27to come back to and reflect upon from what we've been
- 51:31talking about. And so I invite you
- 51:34today to take what we've said with all the
- 51:38pieces around courage and trust
- 51:42and conviction. And
- 51:46so where in your life have you been
- 51:50asking for certainty? And where can
- 51:54you trust yourself a little bit more? You know, where, where can you
- 51:58create change? And reflecting on this, perhaps grabbing a
- 52:01cup of tea and your journal and just really taking
- 52:05this into your, into your body and your heart and
- 52:09just noticing where you might need more certainty and where you can
- 52:13trust yourself a little bit more deeply with that. And
- 52:16so if you want to connect in the community and connect with
- 52:20Thank you. Thank you so much, Cheryl. I'll pop everything in the show notes.
- 52:25And you can join, if you want to join the Sacred She Reset community,
- 52:29I will have all the links here as well where you can connect in and
- 52:33find more of these conversations. And I look forward to seeing you
- 52:37next time.