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188. The Power of Stillness · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safer, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for impact.
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  Hey everyone, thank you for being here.
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  I hope you've had an awesome week.
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  In this episode today we are going to talk about the power of
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  stillness, the importance of being still and being with our
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  thoughts or maybe just slowing down a little bit.
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  Now, I'm going to be the first person to say I'm going to start
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  out by being very honest with you and say that this is
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  actually one of the biggest lessons of my life and something
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  that I still have to catch myself on almost weekly.
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  Stillness is not easy for me in any sense of the word.
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  However, I will tell you, learning more about this, about
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  the power of stillness and putting it into practice, it's
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  made me a better thinker, it's made me better at running my
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  businesses, and it's allowed me to design my life in a way that
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  brings me more joy and freedom, especially over the last five or
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  six years as I've been more intentional about this.
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  I'll also tell you that if you don't know Cal Newport, the
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  author of the books Deep Work and Slow Productivity, I would
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  say he's absolutely an author worth reading.
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  I've learned a lot from him, and it's inspired a lot of changes
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  that I've incorporated into the way that I work and the way that
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  I live. SoCal Newport is certainly an
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  author worth checking out. Now you can imagine why I'm
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  talking about this idea of stillness, and I'm sure you can
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  imagine how it relates to our ability to have impact.
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  In our Western culture, productivity is what is revered.
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  Ever since the industrial revolution, things have changed
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  in terms of how we view people and how we think about work.
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  Our sense of value as a human started to be measured by how
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  much we could get done in a day. And now with the technological
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  revolution and the onset of all of these new tools, that looks
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  even more different because we have the ability to work from
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  any place, we are hyper connected and people can really
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  get a hold of us anytime, anywhere.
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  What started to change my mind about all of this was of course,
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  understanding how Newports work, but also learning that the
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  people that I looked up to, the people who I wanted to emulate,
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  not only in their success, but in the way that they live their
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  life, they all had something in common.
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  And that thing was that they created white space in their
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  life. Now, years ago, I didn't even
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  know this term. I had no idea what white space
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  meant, but it's essentially time to think.
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  It's time that is unscheduled for your brain to be free and
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  wandered. And all of these people that are
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  really looked up to, they created time for themselves to
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  slow down and recover, and they did it with absolute resolve.
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  They protected that time. They created boundaries around
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  this hour of white space or these days of white space,
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  whatever it might look like, and they protected it with their
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  lives. They said it was so important
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  that nothing could interfere with this.
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  I found that so interesting. I'd never really heard of that
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  before, but it made absolute sense to me.
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  And I thought, if all of these people have the type of success
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  that I want and the type of freedom that I want and the type
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  of joy that I'd like to feel in my life, they must be on to
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  something. So that brings me to this idea
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  of stillness. I talked to people about this a
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  lot, and here's a response that I typically get.
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  I'll bring up the idea of slowing down or being with their
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  thoughts, creating some stillness in their life and
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  they'll say, yeah, I know I really need to do that.
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  I, I know I need to make time for that.
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  I need to meditate or I need to rest.
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  But God, I just have a lot to do.
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  I get lip service a lot when it comes to these conversations.
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  We know what we need to do as as humans, but common sense isn't
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  always common practice. And the truth is, most people
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  don't make time for stillness. They don't make time to be with
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  their thoughts. They don't create white space in
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  their life time for their brain to be free and wander.
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  And I get it. I understand why people don't.
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  We are made to think that stillness is associated with
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  inactivity and inactivity is associated with failure.
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  That's probably one of the beliefs that has felt the
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  strongest for me in my life. Stillness is associated with not
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  being productive and not accomplishing anything.
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  So why would I want to be still? Of course, people have that old
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  habitual thinking. We've developed so many beliefs
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  about working and work ethic that we feel like if we aren't
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  doing something that contributes to our goals, we're not doing
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  anything. And the result, Well, the result
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  is that we're unable to just be with ourselves.
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  We are unable to be still. We're unable to take our time
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  and be slow with things. There's a study done by the
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  University of Virginia where over 700 people were asked to
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  just sit in a room alone with their thoughts for 6 to 15
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  minutes, 6 to 15 minutes. Next to them was a shock button
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  and they could press it if they wanted to get out of the room,
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  but they would have to endure a little shock.
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  As a result, 67% of men and 25% of women chose to shock
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  themselves rather than sit quietly and think.
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  Think about the implications of that.
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  We would rather endure a shock to our body then sit with
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  ourselves for 6 to 15 minutes. I mean that is mind boggling to
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  me. But then I think about, well,
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  you can look around now and see a different version of a similar
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  situation even just by going out to eat at a restaurant.
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  And what I mean is people can't sit alone with themselves, with
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  their thoughts without some sort of distraction or something to
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  do, even if that's something to do is just watching mindless
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  shorts on social media. Think about the last time you
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  went to a restaurant. How many people did you notice
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  were on their phones at the table?
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  Last time my wife and I went out, I noticed that almost 100%
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  of people were on their phones at the restaurant.
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  I brought it up to her because I thought it was so insane.
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  What that also means is that those people sitting at those
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  tables are not talking to each other.
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  And they weren't. None of the people in the
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  restaurant were having a conversation with each other.
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  They were staring at their screens.
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  They were scrolling. And you guys, I could not get
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  over it. It was so shocking to me, and
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  yet it's so normalized in our society right now.
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  That night we were out, I saw a couple sitting at the table next
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  to us. It was a guy and a girl.
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  They looked like they were a couple.
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  And at one point the man stood up to go to the restroom and I
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  watched because I was thinking she's going to pull out her
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  phone and I was watching her to see if she would in just the 2
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  minutes that he was gone. And sure enough, within 5
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  seconds of him walking away, she whipped out her phone and
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  started looking at social media. Now I get it, me talking like
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  this, I definitely risk being told that I'm uncool or lame by
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  my teenage girls. I understand that I sort of
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  sound like an old person right now, but I think this is a
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  problem. I think that this has
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  significant impact on us, this inability for us to be in our
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  stillness or to be with our own thoughts.
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  And the reason I think this is a problem is for a couple of
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  reasons that I want to share today.
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  First off, human beings are not designed to be continually
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  expending energy. We're not meant to be bombarded
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  by millions of pieces of information every day of our
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  lives. That's not how the brain is
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  designed. And when we choose distraction
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  or entertainment over alone time or stillness, our brain is
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  essentially working rather than resting or recovering.
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  And this leads to a lot of different issues.
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  Poor sleep, over stimulation, feelings of overwhelm, decision
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  fatigue, ultimately feelings of burnout.
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  I see this in people, I'm sure that you've noticed it as well.
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  The reason this is problematic is because we don't really
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  process feelings or thoughts, and when we never have time to
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  think about or be with our thoughts, it's very challenging
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  to process the day and the things that have happened to us
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  during that day. When you don't sit and allow
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  yourself to reflect and reconcile these events or these
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  feelings, those feelings get more power over time.
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  And what is the impact of that? Just consider this through the
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  lens of mental illness. People who are in constant
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  motion often say that they feel less resilient and more stressed
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  out. Why?
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  Because they have no recovery time and their brain is never
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  able to rest or have time to be free and wander or process
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  emotions. Let me pause here for a second.
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  If you're listening and thinking I'm capable of more or this is
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  the level I want to operate at, this is for you.
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  I work privately with a small number of high performing
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  leaders who are ready to elevate how they show up in their
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  business and in their lives. This isn't motivational
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  coaching, it's precision work. We refine your energy,
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  strengthen your ownership, and eliminate inconsistency so your
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  impact becomes undeniable. If you're ready for that level
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  of growth, book a private call through the link in the show
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  notes. We'll see if it's a fit.
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  All right, back to the episode. Another thing that I think about
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  often, constant motion and constant productivity or
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  distraction kills creativity. Why?
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  Because creativity thrives on stillness and nothingness.
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  Creativity shows up when you have white space, that space
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  when your brain can just wander and you're not distracted by
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  day-to-day tasks. This is one of the reasons why
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  people have so many great ideas in the shower or on walks or
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  hiking, because their brain has time to wander and be free as
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  they go through these automatic processes, and they're not
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  having to overthink things or make so many decisions.
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  There are countless examples of how this has worked for some of
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  the great minds in our time, artists and authors and
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  musicians of the world. Einstein called this process of
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  allowing the mind to wander, initiating the sacred intuitive
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  mind. It's so important to have space
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  to think and be creative. Finally, the last reason I think
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  this is so crucial to think about is because the space and
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  quiet that we can create for ourselves allows us to zoom out
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  and see life as its whole rather than being hyper focused on all
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  of the individual parts like when we're in a project or deep
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  in productivity mode. Life is so much more than a
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  checklist team. It's so much more than a series
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  of small tasks that we do in a day in order to feel productive.
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  And when we have stillness, when we get to be with our thoughts,
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  our brains naturally tend to stand back from life and see it
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  as a whole. And that allows us to make
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  connections between things. And it also makes room for those
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  bolts of inspiration. I've had that experience myself,
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  and I'm sure that you have too many times in your own life.
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  I mean, just the other week I had to interrupt my productivity
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  to take my daughter to dance. And you know, I was a little
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  irritated by the fact that I had to interrupt myself, but in
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  reality, I was only taking about 1/2 an hour away from my
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  project. And on that drive, I decided not
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  to listen to a podcast or a book on Audible or anything like
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  that. But I just turned up my music,
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  blasted it, and let my mind wander.
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  Lo and behold, on that drive, I had a total hit of inspiration
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  for something that I wanted to create for my clients that was
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  going to solve a major need. And it wasn't even on my radar
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  that day. I was so excited on my drive, I
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  couldn't wait to get home and start working on it.
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  That is the power of being alone with my thoughts, even for a
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  short period of time. I was so thankful and it was
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  such a great reminder for me to create that space to be in
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  stillness or to slow down or to just let my mind wander.
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  So what I will acknowledge is that you are probably a very
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  high performing, productive human.
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  You're listening to this podcast, you're probably
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  interested in self development. You appreciate the short 8 to 20
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  minute episodes because they fit into your day and it's something
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  that you can take off and it feels good.
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  I'm the same way. That's why I created it in this
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  format. But my challenge to you would be
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  to look at your calendar this week and see, are there any
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  places where I could create some white space where I could slow
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  down, where I could be in stillness?
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  Maybe it's just 10 minutes of meditation every morning.
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  Maybe it's a walk when you wouldn't normally go on a walk.
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  Maybe it's putting 1/2 an hour into your calendar where nothing
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  is scheduled and you can't look at your phone.
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  You just have to be with your thoughts and maybe a a pen and a
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  piece of paper. That's my challenge to you.
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  For a lot of people, this feels really hard, but every single
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  person who's ever done it comes back to me and says that was
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  amazing. I can't wait to do more of that.
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  So I hope that this feels helpful to you.
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  I hope that it serves you and leads to something beautiful.
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  I'm so glad you're here. Thank you for listening and
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  thank you as always for being ready to Impact Team.
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  Thanks for listening to Impact Ready.
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  I hope today's episode inspired you to own your impact and
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  recognize that you are powerful. By elevating our energy and
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  awareness, we can create exponential change in this life.
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  If you enjoyed today's insights, share them with a friend and
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  subscribe to the show for more. I truly appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.